


The Emperor, The Hound and The Whore

by Alexia_Imriel_Courcel



Series: Running with Fire [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Anal, Anal Beads, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Armitage Hux - Freeform, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BDSM, Belts, Blood and Violence, Bloodplay, Bondage, Bottom Kylo Ren, Brendol Hux - Freeform, Butt Plugs, Canon-Typical Violence, Captivity, Chains, Character Death, Chastity Device, Collars, Come Swallowing, Community: spanking_world, Control, Double Penetration, Double Vaginal Penetration, Emperor Hux, Execution, Explicit Sexual Content, Exposure, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Flogging, Forced, Forced Bonding, Forced Chastity, Forced Masturbation, Forced Orgasm, Forced Pregnancy, Forced Relationship, Gen, Girls in Chains, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Inappropriate Behavior, Inappropriate Use of Lightsabers, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Light BDSM, Loss of Control, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Trust, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mind Control, Mind Games, Mind Rape, Minor Character Death, Multi, Nipple Torture, Non-Consensual, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Consensual Violence, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Original Character Death(s), Other, Past Rape/Non-con, Period Sex, Period play, Poisoning, Possessive Hux, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnant Sex, Prisoner of War, Public Blow Jobs, Public Humiliation, Public Sex, Public uri, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Restraints, Riding Crops, Rope Bondage, Rough Body Play, S&M, Sex Toys, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Sexual Slavery, Sexual Torture, Sexual Violence, Situational Humiliation, Slavery, Snowballing, Statutory Rape, Stockholm Syndrome, Submissive Kylo Ren, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Torture, Verbal Humiliation, Violence, Watersports, Whipping, i hope this works, i write too quickly, threats of rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2018-08-30 02:58:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 51
Words: 263,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8515909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexia_Imriel_Courcel/pseuds/Alexia_Imriel_Courcel
Summary: The war is won, the First Order are victorious. The few surviving Reistance members have fled, those remaining are all imprisoned, alongside you or at worst killed. Hux has been newly crowned as Emperor, and you are presented to a bored Emperor Hux; by Kylo Ren, as a gift.  You were formally of Resistance, and somehow kept alive, purely for the amusement, of Emperor Hux and his consort Kylo Ren.    It will contain triggers, but I won't tag them until I come to them as I feel it spoils the plot.  If you are worried I have my email, either read the current tags or email me.  You have been warned.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have moved my original one shot to here. This is to keep both sides of the story separate.  
> I have reached a point in story where I can freely post the first chapter of the work from Pet's captors. Rather than have 3 separate works then I only have 2.

It had been a battle born of fire and blood, a desperate last stand by the Resistance against the First Order, and the Resistance had lost.  The last surviving leaders lay scattered to the wind, the precious few remaining soldiers locked in cells some thirty feet below the First Orders new headquarters.

You paced the small cell, it was barely large enough to hold two people, let alone the six of you crowded in the cramped space.  There had been eight of you, each day they came for one of you, picked seemingly at random to be taken away and never return.  You knew it was only a matter of time before you were picked, and as each day you went unpicked you resented the wait.

There were three of you left when they came for the next member, and unflinching you stood, demanding you were the one they took today.  The Trooper picking you gave an uncomplicated shrug, accepting your sacrifice with indifference. You had expected to be escorted to an interrogation chamber, or your place of execution, certainly not a black marble audience chamber.  On a raised dais stood an ornate throne, upon it sat the First Orders new emperor.  He was a tall slender man, skin pale, eyes a light shade of blue almost grey in this light, and upon his brow lay a simple crown of gold leaves.  He seemed bored, not just by his situation but your presence also.

“A gift Emperor Hux.”

The black cloaked figure of Kylo Ren had stolen in quietly behind you, even with the mask off and his new robes, you recognised him.  The same expression filled eyes you had seen in his mother looked down at you, the same eyes you had watched murder your beloved General Organa.  He stalked closer, an unseen pressure to your shoulder forcing you to your knees, as he reached the first stair of the dais.  He stood behind the throne, the right hand side of the newly crowned Emperor.  Above you the redhead sighed, looking at his immaculate fingernails picking at imagined dirt.

“Undress.”

The single worded order, rang out against the hollow walls of the room. It had you flinching, an instinctive, steadfast refusal to even process his command to you, let alone obey it.  The emperor shifted in his seat, addressing the dark haired man now at your side.

“Make her undress Ren.”

Emperor Hux seemed disinterested, yet his refusal to let his demand go unheeded, belied that neutrality.  A flick of Ren’s wrists and your binders were released. You hugged your arms to yourself, sending a sideways glance to the guards at the door.  Kylo Ren tilted his head to a side, considering something, before nodding his assent to his Emperor stepping closer to him, dragging you with him, towards the raised dais.  His steps were slow and evenly measured as you proceeded, a slow teasing of your fear and you raised your chin, pale and sickly wanting so much to appear braver than you thought.

Your entire body froze unwillingly in fear as you drew closer, and Ren pressed his body closer.  This you realised hopelessly as your legs refused to co-operate, that even if you could have tried to escape, there was nowhere to go.  The guards would stop you if Ren didn’t, instead you raised your chin in defiance, determined to refuse his outrageous demand with dignity, your last stand against the First Order.  Ren gave a low abrasive chuckle, his right hand raised to your right temple, his voice impassive devoid of emotion.

“You will undress yourself, and again kneel before your Emperor.”

“I will undress myself, and kneel before my Emperor.”

Your brain screamed at your body to disobey, but as though a passenger in your own mind you watched yourself undress, Ren handing your clothing off to a waiting attendant.

You were given control back of your own body with enough time to realise your clothing was being taken from the room.  Behind you Ren stepped closer once more, and as the gloved finger tips bit into the flesh of your neck, you prepared yourself. Taking a deep breath, saying your goodbyes as you looked bravely up, at the seated emperor ready for your execution. 

The fingers gripped tighter, and you exhaled; forcing the last of the oxygen from your lungs.  You would meet your death on your own terms; with bravery and self-control. You would not give either men, the satisfaction of seeing you beg.  For the first time you saw some semblance of animation behind the cold glazed eyes looking down at you.  An unseen signal seemed to pass between the two of them, and suddenly you were pulled to your feet, the cloth of Ren’s tunic rough against your bare goose pimpled skin.  The fingers around your throat relaxed, and involuntarily your lungs filled once more with air, as you were held there, as though waiting.  Your heart thundered in your chest, whilst the Dark-Jedi’s fingers soothed your scalp, a mockery of tenderness, at your predicament. 

Around the room the guard’s helmets kept forwards, and you swallowed, the cold air of the Audience Chamber, swirling around your intimate areas, drawing attention to the fact that you were naked.  If your face hadn’t of been so drained of blood, your cheeks would have heated a bright red at the humiliation of it all.  You wouldn’t allow it to show though, your chin proud, haughty as you looked up at the seated Emperor.  He nodded, another indication to Ren to proceed, this time the torture he wrought from your body was so personal, you thought you would die from that alone.  You were given no choice but to accept the kisses he placed against your neck. His eyes glued to his Emperors’ for approval, as he sucked intently at your earlobe, fingers pressed against your hip, pulling your ass back, to rub against his slowly stiffening cock.  So this is where it was all going you thought, even in death they would refuse you, your dignity. You refused to let either of the two men see your discomfort, remaining neutral as he trailed lazy circles up to cup your right breast. 

He kneaded the quivering flesh, your nipple stiffening beneath puckering fingertips.  You switched your mind elsewhere, thinking of anything, everything but the fingers rolling your nipple between them. 

A quick hard pinch to one, had you brought back to the present, his other hand gripping your neck forcing you to look breathlessly at the enthroned emperor as Ren continued to play your body.  A slight moan escaped your lips, quickly bit back, eyes wide in fear and the realisation of what you had done.  Next to your ear Ren gave a sharp inhalation as he registered your bodies response taking over.

“Don’t please.”

His hands dipped to the apex of your thighs, and you instinctively tried to close them from his questing fingers.  It was to no avail, a quick flick of the same hand and your legs opened locked into place, held open by his unseen grip.  You had never been touched there; not by another’s hands and the thought that this would be both your first, and last experience of doing so, brought unheeded tears to your eyes.  You blinked them back, furious with yourself, you would not give in to foolish sentiment here.  What did it matter what any man did to your body, here and now it was what you kept in your mind that mattered.  He brought his fingers up to his lips, spitting on them before dropping the slimy digits once more to your clit, swirling his saliva around your clit, rubbing his wetness into your skin.

Ren continued a slow and steady onslaught to your sex, all the time presenting what he did to his emperor as gruesome show of power over you. 

He had to return his fingers to his mouth several times, to replace the wetness your body seemed to soak up from him, before your cunt began its own production of lubrication.  His hand left your neck and you dipped your head to the floor, finally allowing shame to wash over you at your own bodies apparent disloyalty to you.

The fingers were at your temple, pulling forth images he needed, few to do with the defeat of the Resistance.  There was precious little to be gained there, he needed only time to locate your last few missing members.  It was the personal ones he voiced to the seated Emperor Hux, triumphantly displaying your weakness.

“A virgin, untouched by another. Though she knows enough of pleasure at her own hands, to realise when she is losing a battle against her own pleasure.”

Ren was right; the little that you did know, proved the strong the shaking of your thighs, and tensing of your muscles were enough. It had to be so clear for all present in the room, to recognise your steadily approaching orgasm.  For the first time Emperor Hux’s eyes showed some animation. He sat up straighter in his chair, his eyes hooded as he looked down at you.  You grit your teeth looking defiantly at him, managing to holding back the approaching wave.

“Make her spend.”

The gruffness in his voice echoed off the cavernous walls of the chamber, you shook your head at his instructions to Ren, determined to hold out.  The grip shifted to your waist, Ren’s muscular arm the only real thing, assisting you to stay standing as your legs threatened to give out.  You refused to look away from the pale emperor, your cheeks betraying the shame you wouldn’t allow to creep into your eyes.

You bit back any real noise to your approaching orgasm, but if the small grunt you made went unnoticed. The ‘ **no** ’, you screamed at your refusal to accept what was happening to your body; echoed louder than Hux’s original demand to make you do so.  Your legs finally betrayed you, at the intensity of it all.  You collapsed forwards, onto your knees supported as you did by Ren, his nimble fingers drawing out the last shakes of your orgasm.  Angry tears now pricked your eyes, and you allowed the warm fluid to fall over your cheeks, scalding tracks of molten revulsion across your face.  Behind you Ren made a charade of an attempt at comfort at your shuddering frame, shushing you whilst you came down from your unwanted high.

“Don’t touch me, you sick fuckers!” 

You struggled against him, pushing away his hands, and he openly laughed at your discomfort, mocking not just what he had done, but your bodies refusal to show solidarity to your situation.  You knew it was something you couldn’t control, but still your stomach heaved threatening to spill bile over the black polished floor. 

“Enough.”

The Emperor’s command was not just one for you to cease your struggling, but for Ren to quit toying with you also.  Unsupported by Ren’s struggling arms you fell forwards onto your hands and knees, an unwilling genuflexion to the seated man.  You knew before the command was issued what Hux wanted, the black look in his strangely feral eyes, preceding his order to Ren.

“Take her.”

“You sick bastards, is this what you do with each of us before execution?”

They declined to answer, each man’s focus on your kneeling form.  You pleaded not just with either of them, but with anyone who would listen.  Just let them kill you, you thought, attempting a desperate crawl to one of the guards aiming for their weapon.  You knew you had no chance of harming either men, but the thought of drawing it on yourself; brought you a sick sense of hope.  It was short lived the bear like frame of Ren tackling you before you could rise to your feet, pulling you back against him.  A wave of his wrist and a toneless command had you frozen in your struggles, watching through terrified eyes as behind you he unfastened his belt.  You closed them, refusing to look as he brought his cock to your cunt, his immense thighs pressing to the backs of yours as he rubbed his hardened cock through the wetness between your thighs.  He was deliberately making a show out of your fear, determined to draw out the act as long as possible, he slipped just the head inside you, stretching your almost painfully, before pulling out and replacing it with his finger.

“You’re too tight, I don’t want to hurt you.”

The muttered comment in your ear, had been Ren’s first real sentence to you.  You blinked at the absurdity of it all, you were about to suffer the indignity of losing your virginity; to the monster behind you, on the cold marble floor of a First Order audience chamber.  Watched by an equally as evil Hux as Ren’s fingers probed into you, their length and thickness making you writhe as he pulled you up, your back flush to his chest.  He sought out your hand, wrapping your fingers around his cock, forcing them to stroke the throbbing flesh.  You stiffened in fear, as he added a second then a third finger, slowly working you open for his cock.  You could tell he was big, and if this was how three of his fingers felt inside you, how would his cock feel?

Your walls were pulsing around his fingers, reluctant pants fleeting from your lips.  You bit your mouth closed when you realised, breathing through your nose; you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.  He didn’t need any encouragement, his fingers pressed the front wall of your cunt, adding to the overwhelming feeling of fullness. 

“You’re ready.”

You shook your head furiously, allowing for the first time your fear to show. Your pleas were laced with it, the futility of it never unapparent but you knew you had to try, as he returned the head of his cock to your cunt.  You pushed against him uselessly, your hands and arms tiny compared to his, as you made your last plea.

“Please, no, don’t!”  

This one was made directly to the recumbent Hux, this frame stretched out sideways across the immense throne. The swelling in his trousers apparent even from this distance, though he made no move to relieve himself of it.  He tilted his head to you, and it was to him you presented your face, as Ren slowly pushed into you, filling your sex for the first time with his dick.  You gave a strangled cry, your tears renewing in intensity, your face a mess of tangled hair and moisture.

Hux’s eyes never left your body as Ren ploughed into you, his assault on your sex slow, but relentless for his Emperor.  You cleared your vision of tears, concentrating on the lowest step leading to the platform, willing your body to ignore what was happening to you.  His hands wrapped your thighs, providing more leverage for his hips, his fingers reaching again for your sex.  Again your struggles proved useless against this hulking figure, one hand pulling ay your waist, displaying the gap between your legs to Hux.  The fingers at your sex holding you open displaying you to Hux, allowing him to watch freely, his chest heaving, as your cunt swallowed Ren’s cock.  You tore your gaze away from the immaculately clad Emperor, aware that his quickened breathing, and swollen cock wouldn’t be visible to the Guards at the doors.  To them it would look like he wasn’t allowing himself, any perverted pleasure from Ren’s treatment of you. 

You snarled down at the rolling fingers against your sex, feeling your cunt tighten against his pounding cock.  Wasn’t it enough for them to do this to you, did they need to make you enjoy it too.  You thrashed against the swiftly approaching euphoria, throwing your insult this time to Hux.

“Isn’t it enough to do this to me, to take my innocence from me.  Please don’t make me enjoy it too.”

He nodded to Ren, and he reluctantly removed his fingers from your sex, both hands gripping your hips.  Had you of been more experienced you would have already recognised the signs of his swiftly approaching climax, the swelling of his cock inside you, the random pulsing as he grew more sensitive. 

“Do it.”

The quick command from Hux was Ren’s signal to let go, his hips stuttering as he roared out his climax for his Emperor.  You felt he cock spasm, as he released himself inside you, flooding your insides with his cum.  Yourself swallowing thickly at his violation of you, your clit still painfully swollen at his teasing.  He draped himself over you, and whilst you didn’t want to feel any part of him against you, you lacked any strength to fight him, just laying beneath him, shell shocked by what he had done to you.

“You know Ren; it’s considered healthy to pee after sex.”

Your innocent mind didn’t recognise what the Emperor was hinting at.  Your first indication of what he meant was a twitching of Ren’s softening cock still inside you, as you felt a stream of warm fluid filling your cunt.  You were shocked, not having realised there could be anymore humiliation to wring from your body.  It trickled past his cock, straw coloured liquid, running freely down your thighs, flushing ropes of his cum from your body.  Finished he pulled out his now soft cock, the last of his pee and cum gushing from your body to splatter over the floor; strands of his combined fluids staining your thighs. 

You curled up over yourself, as Ren stood, removing his warmth and what little shelter he had offered from the guards at the back of the room.  You wrapped your arms around your stomach, not caring as you sobbed that you lay in the puddle of his combined fluids, praying now for your approaching death. 

It was the sound of slow measured, clipped footsteps coming from the steps of the throne that disturbed your self-pity.  You hiccupped back a sob as for the first time ever Hux moved, walking towards you.  His cloak trailed behind him, and he delicately stepped around the puddle beneath him, as he dropped to a crouch, cupping your tear soaked chin towards him.  You waited fearfully, as his thumb pressed against your lips, parting them to pressing down on your tongue as he tilted your face to him.  There was another nod, again another signal between the two men that spoke of a command.  You watched confused as Hux strode from the room. Ren’s arm wrapping your waist lifting your protesting form from the floor, not caring at the disgusting mess you made of his clothing as he pressed two fingers to your temple.

When you had given into the overwhelming sense of tiredness, you had not expected to wake at all, let alone clean. You were still naked, except for a heavy ornate collar like necklace, wrapping your throat, dropping onto your clavicle.  A chain attached to a complicated loop on it, pinning you to the bed, clearly on display for the newly crowned Emperor Hux. 

You had been cleansed of your sweat and Ren’s fluids whilst asleep.  The sour tang of urine, and musk of Ren’s sweat and cum, replaced by a sweet perfumed smelling soap.  You took a deep breath grateful to be clean, your own perfume mixing with the natural scent of Hux’s skin, permeating his crisp bedding.  Your hair was pinned up into a complicated style, and you could feel the weight of make up on your eyes, another change whilst you had been asleep.

Feeling too exposed in your recumbent position; you pulled yourself up, to rest your back to the headboard of the immense bed. You watched nervously, as he took slow languid sips from a crystal goblet.  It held a deep purple liquid, and he was in no hurry to finish it, his disinterest in your naked form making you nervous, impossibly more uneasy around him. 

You didn’t dare, to question why you were still alive, let alone why you were in the emperors bed, waiting patiently eyes like saucers watching each pass of the goblet to his lips.  He smirked at your discomfort whilst you waited.  You were aware despite your inexperience, there was only one reason for you to be presented thus.  You pressed your thighs together, still sore from Ren’s defilement of you, hoping uselessly that Hux would leave you alone, for tonight at least. 

A clack sounded from a nearby side table, as he replaced the goblet for the last time, pulling his shoes and socks off before standing to unfasten his jacket.  He folded it tidily over a chair back, taking his time to remove, and fold each remaining layer, before padding over to you. You shrunk back against the headboard as he approached, climbing onto the bed with you.  His hands deftly pulling at your hips to yank you to his preferred position.

He didn’t waste time in threatening you, or drawing out any further hints, or threats of what he would do to you, his hands pulling your legs apart to bare your sex to him.  He draped his arms over and around your thighs, fingers nimbly swiping along the folds of your sex, slowly parting you to his prying eyes.  It was all so confusing, your current placement, the slow parting of his lips as his eyes remained glued to your sex, and it was this you blamed later on your refusal to struggle, as his thumbs held you open to the kiss he placed against your exposed clit.

You watched wide eyed, his own flicking up to you, as his tongue swiped over your sex. Groaning into you, the vibrations setting off little shudders, as his lips sucked your clit into his mouth, swirling his tongue around your stiffening organ.            

His eyelids dipped, though his gaze never left yours as you looked back at him, remembering to swallow thickly at the saliva pooling in your mouth.  You forced yourself to breathe, as he pulled back his head, his lips shiny with your juices as he puckered them to spit into your waiting sex.  Before diving back down to sloppily taste you, coaxing forth an unwelcome moan of pain from your throat, as he slid a finger inside you.  It stung, your walls still sore and aching from Ren’s treatment of you, despite your stiff little bud begging for some sort of relief you flinched, and Hux tutted.

“Yes Ren can be something of a brute.  Yet you took him so well.”

He kept stroking at your sex the whole time he spoke, not attempting to put his fingers back inside you, replacing them with his mouth when he had finished.  His tongue flickering all over your sex, softer and not as rigid as his finger, it didn’t hurt when it entered your slick channel, and you gasped as he expertly fucked you with it.  He chuckled into you and your realised suddenly that you had been rocking your hips to help him gain friction, guiding his tongue to a particularly sweet spot next to to your clit. You gripped the sheets beneath you, desperate not to seem a willing participant in all of this, breathing calmness back into your body.  It was all pointless though; Hux expertly realising where you had been guiding his tongue, attacked there with a frenzy, pulling your orgasm from you with a triumphant groan.  You threw back your head a tear escaping your closed lid, running down your neck.  There was a shifting in the bed, and his tongue chased the tract it left over your skin, sucking the skin where it culminated at the crook of your exposed neck, into his mouth.       

He pulled away with a pop, crudely rutting his hardened cock into your hip, his thumb brushing against your lip.  Anxious that he too would fuck you, you drew back frowning as Hux offered you a swift drink.  You held the spiced wine in your mouth, reluctant enough to have taken the drink, more so at having to swallow the unknown liquid. However, the tilting glass offered no escape and your swallowed repeatedly, quickly downing the deep purple liquid.

A trickle slipped over your chin, and hastily Hux dropped his lips to it, sucking the moisture from you. flicking his tongue obscenely over your slightly parted lips, taking advantage of your surprise to quickly dart it inside your mouth. Trailing the taste of your own fluids over your tongue, removing it quicker than you could work through your shock, to act on a sudden decision to try biting him.

Renewed struggled started as you realised what had happened, the sudden burst of aggression making him laugh almost tiredly, reaching for a nearby spider gag.  He held it up to you, raising an eyebrow to you, the meaning perfectly obvious even to your innocence as he stroked his cock. 

“You can do this willingly, and I’ll not fuck your abused hole.  Bite me or make any other attempt to hurt me, and trust me it will be the most painful fuck of your short lived life, and you’ll still wear this whilst I finish in your mouth.”

You nodded shakily, persuaded by his threat and your dislike of the gag, discovering the chain gave you enough slack to rise to your knees.  You were ordered first to kiss him, and you did hesitantly pressing your lips to his.  He tasted of wine and your cum, his tongue running soft circles around yours.  He pulled your hand to his cock, and you instinctively tried to please him, wrapping your fingers around it’s rigid, heavy length.   Fisting him in the same way Ren had you doing to his cock, in the audience chamber.

“Kiss it.”

He meant his cock, and as a hand unfastened your collar from the bed, his other holding up the gag, you quickly dropped to his cock, placing your lips to the purple, blood engorged head.  You gave him a soft kiss, laying several down the aching column of his sex, checking as you did for any hint that you were doing it right.  His lips parted, his tongue darting to his lower lip, eyes closing to slits, when you parted your lips, sucking him into your mouth.  You were inexperienced, but eager in your attempts to please him.  Hux sensing that you were willing to try your best in an attempt to avoid the gag, he took full advantage of your willingness.  Pulling back the loose tendrils of hair to watch your lips wrapped around his hard rod. 

You had been so eager to avoid the punishments Hux offered you hadn’t realised there was company in the room.  Gloved fingers touched your ass, walking up your spine and you quickly surmised as the dark shape came into focus that you had been joined by Ren.  He tilted his head to you, stroking the cheek full of his Emperor’s cock before trailing them up to Hux, pulling his Jaw into a deep kiss.  He groaned into the ginger’s mouth his tongue exploring the taste of you before standing to undress, placing his sabre on the cabinet next to you.

“I dispatched the last of her cellblock, whilst you were having your fun.”

You blinked back tears at the realisation, you were the remaining member of your troop.  The weapon next to you a stark reminder of what he had done, that whilst Hux had been fucking your mouth, your cell mate had been dying.  Had they screamed as you wanted to do now? 

If your mouth of not been so full of Hux’s cock you would have screamed your choice insults at him, instead of having to contain them to your head.  Instead Ren’s hands wrapped into your hair, holding your head in place on Hux’s cock, making you struggle to breathe.   You looked up at him, blinking back tears, clawing at Ren’s arms in desperation for air.

“Apologise.”

Ren’s suggestion to you seemed disinteresting and after a brief struggle with yourself you thought through a single, sulky ‘sorry’ pleading with your eyes to Hux, asking him to have Ren release you.  A swift tap of a finger, to Ren’s hand had him letting you up to breath.  You gasped, greedily sucking in air, as Ren dropped to his knees next to you.  You watched as he ran his tongue over the tip of Hux’s cock, swirling around the head.

“Now you try.”

You did so, doing your best to follow Ren’s instructions, listening to both men’s guidance.  Ren took hold of your head pulling you from Hux.  This time he swallowed the gingers cock, pushing it deep into his throat, groaning against the heavy length. You watched transfixed that the whole time, wondering that anything that large could fit there, aware he would want you to try next.  Ren lifted up, Hux’s cock leaving his mouth with a loud pop, becoming you over.  You moved to give him what he wanted, and as you dipped to slip the head of Hux’s sex you steeled yourself ready.  Talking a deep breath as you slid as much as you could into your mouth.  It wasn’t enough and Ren’s fingers tangled into your hair.  Forcing you further down onto Hux’s dick, pushing it towards the back of your throat, his ginger pubes tickling your nose.  You gurgled when it hit your gag reflex, drool slipping over your chin, tears slipping over your cheeks from the strain of it all.  Both men looked down at you, almost adoringly, before Ren let up.  Reward your attempts to please them, with a gulp of fresh air before guiding you back to Hux’s waiting cock.  You were awarded with a ‘good girl’ from Hux, and when you compromised; taking Hux deeper than you wanted to into your throat, but not enough to make you gag. Ren let go of your hair, allowing you to set your own pace.

 A moment later and you heard a click, of an opening bottle. Then sticky leather clad fingers pressed up against your puckered hole, circling pressing against it, but not yet into your hole.  It had never occurred to you that Hux’s offer, to not have you fucked if you pleased him, was limited only to your pussy.  You panicked, as a thick finger probed into your behind, making you squeal in protest.  It pulled out, gathering more lube, before plunging back in.  You stiffened, ready to fight off the gently plunging digit, stopped quickly by Hux pulling your arms behind your back, holding you in place for Ren’s finger.  Another finger was added, scissoring you apart, working open your hole.  You were pulled from Hux’s cock, able to make your first incessant pleas, begging Ren not to defile you in this way, wasn’t it enough that he had taken you once already. Hux joined Ren at your rear, slapping your ass to make you present it to him when you tried pulling away from his own fingers.

One slid into join the two of Ren’s already buried knuckle deep inside you, and you moaned your pussy oddly feeling empty, jealous of the full feeling in your ass.  The men switched, Hux burying three fingers now easily into your ass, as Ren pulling your face up to him, cradling it between both gigantic paws.  There was more cold, slick lube added to your ass, worked into you to make sure you were open receptive to what was to come.  Your nipples were achingly hard, pressing like diamonds into the palm of the man toying with them, making your pussy clench, it’s echo mirrored in your ass spasming onto Hux’s fingers.  The fingers pulled out, and you tensed against the thick cock, waiting at your hole. 

“It’ll hurt if you fight it.”

The dark brown eyes peering down at you, were blown with lust. A tingle running your spine at realisation that this was the second time today, this man had tried not to hurt you in pursuit of his own hedonistic pleasure.  You had expected of course, your own body to matter little to either man.  After all were you not just a plaything for them to use, then throw away onto the garbage pile the next day.  He dipped his head, running his tongue around a puckered areola, teasing the bud between his plush lips.  A second set met your neck, and you willed your body to relax. Sufficiently enough to allow the head of Hux’s cock, to slowly penetrating your ass.  His hips snapped forwards as he reached the base of his shaft, grabbing onto your own hips, to pull you all the way back onto his cock.  It stung, burningly for a minute or two, but as you relaxed, the same pleasurable feeling as his fingers took over.  Hux gave you time to settle before beginning to roll his hips, his cock rocking backwards and forwards inside of you. 

The hand between your shoulder blades forced you on to your hands, Ren guiding your face to his eagerly waiting cock.  You were prepared this time, allowing him to fuck your mouth as Hux did your ass.  There was a groan above you, the noises of both men exchanging a sloppy kiss, as they used you. Ren’s hand pulling at your no longer tidy hair, urging you to take more of his cock.  Both their hands roamed everywhere, each other, and yourself, making obscene moans as they clutched at your naked body.  It would have been lying to say you were not grateful for the fingers that found your clit.  Pinching and pulling at the painfully swollen button, making you gasp your own pleasure against the organ in your mouth.  Drool ran over your breasts, your cunt leaking its own juices down your thighs, your brain screaming out choice insults at you, and the heated way you were responding to your treatment.

It was Ren who came first, his roar of triumph deafening to your heart and ears, his cock pushed far enough down your throat to force you to swallow.  He stroked your cheek as you did, pulling you up to a kiss, his fingers joining Hux’s at your pussy.  He slid just one inside you, and you were shocked both by how little it now hurt your slick little channel, and how full it made you feel. He added another finger, firmly, but gently pumping them as Hux continued to rub complicated little circles against your nub.  You were soon shaking. Again not wanting to give them the satisfaction of seeing you enjoy yourself at their hands; you tried holding off.  Ren’s lips pressed to yours to silence your begging, the thumb of his other hand flicking your nipple.

Your orgasm swiftly claimed you, at that extra touch, and you felt the Emperor behind you stutter his precise movements.  Your ass clamping tight onto his cock, his hips jerking, as he emptied himself inside you.  You screeched out your pleasure against Ren’s lips, cheeks emblazoned with your failure. 

The man behind you pulled out slowly, a trail of sticky lube and seamen dripping between your ass cheeks to your pussy.  Ren helped Hux to the bed, cradling him into his arms.  His pale slender chest unrealistically small against the vastness of Ren’s muscular expanse.  His lips dipping to kiss the redhead’s shoulder, as Hux’s pale eyes looked over your waiting exhausted body.  You had given into the exhaustion of your orgasm, laying down, eyes unblinking watching, waiting for your final few moments.  Milky white flesh reached out to you, the slender, pale flesh of Hux’s fingertips brushing your collar.  There was no move to bring you closer, nor any real comfort to you, just Hux’s crisp correct thanks to Ren for his gift, before tilting your face to him.

“This one pleases me Ren, this one we keep.”         

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time had passed, you have been spending weeks being conditioned to the needs of your captors. It seems you have survived so far, but how long will they allow you to live, and if they do can you bare it?

The bath water was perfumed, as always to a scent of Hux’s choosing.  There were no more choices afforded to you, you would be presented as Hux wanted you, not in clothing of your own choosing.   You stepped into the warm water, surrounded by waiting hands, all ready to ensure you were scrubbed and scented to perfection.  Handmaidens sent to do their masters bidding, they never spoke to you, and you soon gathered they must have been forbidden from doing so.  Yes, they could talk, but it was always in a language you couldn’t understand, and only to one another, never to you.  One pointed to a glass vial, a request you gathered to for another to pass her it.  It was handed over, the scent a heady perfume, one that reeked to you of sexual prowess, something that until now you had never thought of possessing.  Not that you had ever had any intentions of possessing it either, the only thing you wanted was to be left alone, not to have caught the eye of either of your captors.      The handmaiden finished made surveyed her work, and you waited, hopelessly lost at yourself. Studying your reflection, in the ornate mirror, of your bedchamber.  Even you, would have to admit, you looked beautiful.  Your hair and makeup were as always when they requested you, done to perfection by voiceless handmaidens.  A polished finish, one that no doubt whichever of your captors summoning you, would soon see fit to undo.  You were ordered from your bedchamber, your heart beating in panic, despite the brave face you donned to the waiting handmaiden. 

Gossamer skirts flowed gracefully around you as you walked, your dress a long and flowing expanse of fabric and jewels favoured by the Naboo inhabitants.  Much too beautiful and costly, to become the jumble of cum soaked rags that so much of your clothing became.  It was held in place both by silver cuffs at your arms, and pinned to the elaborate collar Hux always made you wear.  You touched your fingers to it, at first it had felt so heavy at your throat, now it offered you some protection.  Guards came to escort you, clipping a chain to a loop at the collar.  It was unsettling to have such little power over yourself, but you knew you were safe from them.  You knew they wouldn’t dare to even think about touching, what so clearly belonged to their Emperor.  Outside the safety of your bedchamber, you were escorted along huge frigid corridors, by more nameless guards. 

You were not led to a bedchamber as usual, but instead brought for the very first time, back to the very room where Ren had ripped your virginity from you.  Taking a deep steadying breath, you dropped to your knees on the cold floor before the throne, the guard holding your chain.  Both of you awaiting instruction.  

It seemed like an eternity before Hux entered, the gold laurel crown in place, Kylo Ren like a loyal dog, a mere pace behind him.  That’s exactly what you all where you realised; eyes down cast to the floor, Emperor, Hound, Whore. 

It was cold, but you knew now better than to display any discomfort before Hux.  Shivering controlled, and kept to a minimum, unless someone came close enough, to see the goosepimples on your amply displayed flesh, they wouldn’t realise you were so cold.  They swept closer, neither men formally acknowledging you, just the ghost of an unseen hand from Ren, against your bare sex.  A reminder to you, that as always, were allowed no underwear.

“Come pet.”

You struggled to obey your Emperor. Your legs were stiff with cold and disuse, but you tried not to show it as you began the climb to the dais.  The guard shackled you to a ring fixed to the decorative throne and Hux flicked a delicate wrist to a spot directly at his feet. You knelt in abeyance there, unable now to control your shaking as he touched your chin.  This you had learnt in your brief servitude this at least was permissible. Hux enjoyed seeing you tremble both at his touch, and that of his consort, Ren.  But still deemed it unseemly, and far too uncontrolled, to do so from the cold or fear of anyone else.  Gloved fingers tilted your face to him, the expression of fear openly displayed there for him, as you wondered what game would today bring.  A leather clad thumb stroked against your lower lip.  Careful not to smear any of the gloss on your lips, as it pushed slowly past them. It pressed gently over your tongue, and instinctively you sucked on it.  You knew, from past experiences that he liked watching you suck on things. A foot, a finger, a cock anything he chose to put in your mouth. 

You hoped it was, but dared not look up at him, to check that it had been what he wanted you to do.  You had not have been given permission, to look at his face yet.  You swirled your tongue around it, as he tilted your face from side, to side slowly assessing your countenance.  The order came for you to look at him, and you flicked your eyes up heart thundering wildly in your chest.  His face was always so stoic, unless he was fucking you, that it was always so difficult to see what else pleased him.  His displeasure however was far easier to discern, and it was always worth assuming you had it.  You still weren’t quite sure why the men had chosen to keep you.  Had you not of volunteered to go next that day you doubted, that you would have ended up in the throne room that fateful day.  But instead have been sent to an execution chamber, by now with your cell mates.  You had requested it, but both men seemed reluctant to send you to one now, only ever doling out punishments for your misbehaviour.

“Do you know what this is pet?”

 

You, shook your head looking to the smooth round object he held in his other hand.  You didn’t really, it looked, organic, egg-like.  Hux displayed deftly to you, between thumb and forefinger.  It was flecked a natural stone colour, but the dark gloves he wore made it look almost bone white.  You didn’t wholly. But it was a safe guess it looked the right shape and colour, you weren’t sure what type though. 

“An egg?”

He looked almost too pleased by your guess, keeping you on edge, it wasn’t ever safe to relax around Hux or Ren.  Your eyes flicked up to Hux’s brow, giving you a view of Ren in your peripheral vision.  The smirk he plastered across his face was if possible more unsettling than normal, making you tense up again. Almost, but thankfully not quite, forgetting to keep your concentration on the seated Emperor Hux.     

“Good girl. Yes, it is an egg, now open up.”

The thumb at your tongue pressed down, and you dutifully opened your mouth, lips parted waiting.  He removed his thumb, before resting the egg on your tongue, lifting two fingers to your chin. An unmistakable order to close your mouth.  You did so gingerly, careful not to swallow, or knock it. Aware that whatever the egg was in your mouth, it probably wasn’t good.  Though not very large, the size of a small pebble on your tongue, it felt heavy with dread in your mouth, and you dared not move your tongue too much. Fearful that you would crack or swallow it, and it taste unpleasant.

“It is irrelevant to you what sort, but I wouldn’t want to crack it if I were you.  I have heard the yoke, is quite acidic.”

Your eyes widened, now you had more to fear than its unpleasant taste, Hux’s words were a warning to you. It was simple; if you cracked that egg, it would burn your mouth.  Whilst you doubted he would do anything too risky to you; hopefully not wanting put your mouth indefinitely out of action.  You knew he wouldn’t hesitate to hurt or humiliate you, as part of one of his sick games.  You were instructed to make yourself more comfortable, and grateful you shifted onto your bottom giving your knees some much needed relief.  It was cold in the chamber, and you found yourself unconsciously shifting closer to the throne, and the warmth of Hux’s legs.  Your nipples were stiff with the cold, made more prominent by the rouge the handmaiden had rubbed onto them, and Ren stared openly at them.  Another reason for the dress you thought, making you shift uncomfortably to try and hide them.  You were not allowed to though, Ren bent to pinch to them, a sharp warning not to hide yourself. It had you reluctantly dropping your arms, adjusting your position to openly display them to the room. 

The egg in your mouth made it difficult to manipulate your tongue, and already saliva was pooling in your mouth, threatening to slip over your lips.  You did your best to swallow around it, delicately; taking your time to avoiding cracking the eggshell. 

The hand above you petted the top of your head, as though you would an animal, and he gave instructions to the patiently waiting guards, to commence with their tasks. His fingers absent mindedly stroked where ever he could reach, along your shoulders and back. You suffered his touch, but only to push against the long wool cloak he wore, for these ceremonial purposes.

The guards opened a side door, bringing forth a shackled figure, a woman you surmised quickly.  She was dressed in what you gathered, would have once been an orange jumpsuit. A found Resistance pilot you quickly realised, and you stiffened in terror for her, as she was shoved closer.

Her movements were slow, limping, she was obviously in a great deal of pain.  Probably from torture you realised, and despite the purple and green bruises darkening her face, and dishevelled appearance you recognised her. Not by name, but her face was very familiar.  You had both been stationed on the same Resistance base. 

She glowered up at you and her captors, refusing to speak head held high.  You were full of embarrassment and unable to protest your innocence, you dropped your head in shame.  Aware that her perceived position of you in this ghastly court, clearly wasn’t good.

A sharp, wet crack rang out, echoing off the vast empty walls.  You realised quickly as the guard next to her, knocked her to the floor with the butt of his blaster rifle that she had attempted to spit at Hux.  The pilot although too far away to hit him, had obviously displeased him.  Such behaviour you had already learnt, was considered utterly distasteful by Hux.  Unless of course sexual, then many things he considered distasteful, were enjoyable to him.

The pilot had obviously been brought in for her sentencing, and you quickly surmised as she kept her clothing; that not all prisoners brought before Hux, had undergone the same treatment as yourself.  The sabre behind you had ignited when the woman spat, and you realised that Ren was, to your horror, waiting for instructions to kill her.  Frozen you gulped, fear like and iron weight in your stomach, only remembering at the last possible moment the egg.  It made a noise of complaint at the sudden rough pressure, but thankfully hadn’t cracked.  The fingers at your neck shifted, to grip a bare arm, hauling you sharply up, and into his lap.

At a simple wave from Hux, Ren strode from behind the throne. Stalking slowly down the marble steps, towards her. His sabre extended to the side, ready to strike.  You told yourself to look away, but couldn’t tear your eyes away as he stood behind her.  A smell of burning flesh as the red blade pressed, dangerously close to her neck.    

You were pulled flush to Hux’s chest, face angled so that he could brush his fingertips to your lips, both a warning not to speak, and reminder of what your mouth contained.  You kept your gaze towards the downed pilot, taking in the black hulk behind her, your eyes skimming between the two.  Silently pleadingly at him to remove the sabre at her neck, as Hux kissed sensually along your exposed shoulder.

“She wants you to spare her.”

Ren’s impassive voice echoed flatly, through the room, and you raised your eyes back to him, furious with him for reading your private thoughts.  He looked amused at your predicament, giving you an evil smirk, whilst he shoved the pilots head to one side.

“I wasn’t in your head Pet.  Your face is easy enough to read.”

You did your best to scowl, the pilot straightening her back, refusing to give them the satisfaction of seeing her beg.  You wanted to do it for her, but the weight at your tongue, was making it impossible to voice your distaste at the situation.  Underneath your ass you felt the unmistakeable stirring of Hux’s cock, and realised he was enjoying the power he held over both of you.

He sharply pulled your back, flush with his chest, pulling open your legs, draping them either side of his.  You held your breath, thinking yourself ready for what he had planned.  Your heart strumming wildly at the pulse point at your neck, cheeks reddening in humiliation as you realised this new torment. 

He pulled the long skirts to your thighs, the thin material pooling easily over your lap. A finger ran up your leg, trailing it leisurely up the inside of your thigh, his breath and lips, warm against your neck, sucking it into his mouth, as the fingertip dipped under your skirt. 

“Would you Pet?”

His voice was deeply seductive, yet disinterested when he spoke against your ear, making your heart raise a little in a stupid hope, that you could save her.  He sucked now at the exposed flesh behind your ear, no doubt leaving a dark mark.  Holding your chin forwards, towards the open chamber, forcing you to look back at Ren.  He stood ready to strike.  His muscular arm held the strenuous position with apparent ease, awaiting his Emperors command to execute.

The fingers under your skirts, had now reached your bare sex and he brushed them tantalisingly slowly over your folds.  Slipping them past your outer lips to toy with your clit, making you squirm breathlessly in his lap. Before suddenly and firmly, pushing two of his fingers easily inside of you, making your lips part with a deep sigh of horror.

Hux gave a small, quiet groan in your ear, at finding you already wet, gathering up your slickness on his index and forefinger. Before removing them, to show you first before, displaying his wet fingers to the room. Rubbing them together, before scissoring the clear strands between both fingers, sucking them into his mouth.  You felt sickened enough already; without considering how badly this must look to the poor pilot, like you too were complicit in their enjoyment at her fear.  Hux gave an indecent hum to the room, at the taste of you.  Pulling the flingers from his mouth with a lewd wet pop, before trailing them back towards your sex.

“I’ll make a deal with you Pet; you cum on these fingers and I’ll save the man, or woman on trial at the time.”

Your heart dropped in your ribs, at his nauseating game.  You longed to hit him, but had learnt quickly not to try, Ren would just freeze you before you tried.  Hux fingers running slow lazy circles over your clit, not designed to get you off, but to bring a slow torment to you.  Realising for the first time your true position in all of this, the woman on the floor looked for the first time up at you with a look of agonizing pity.  Worse to you than her previous hate of you. The tears you shot her in sympathy, threatened to ruin the inky lines around your eyes, but you didn’t care daring to close your eyes to the room. 

A sharp pinch of fingers at your clit, had you jolting in shock, eyes flickering open.  This time you didn’t dare look at the pilot, lest it upset you more.  Fixing your gaze on Ren, his arm finally beginning to show signs of strain at the position it held, a message to hurry if you wanted to save her.  Frightened for the woman, you refused to acknowledge her pleading eyes, instead focusing on the fingers between your thighs.  To your sickening abhorrence, almost pleading yourself to hurry up, and debase yourself, and climax for Hux. 

You gave a mewl of frustration when he decided to stop teasing your clit, as you were close, your breathing coming in gasping shudders.  You had dared to lower your eyes from the pilot, in disgrace at the shaking of your legs, horrified at the last minute by the thought of cumming in front of her.  Hux spoke again, possibly from seeing Ren’s arm begin to finally shake, possibly because you had looked away.  Seemingly indifferent, both stopping your approaching orgasm, and the death blow he now gave Ren permission to undertake.

“This one you can kill Ren.”

Your eyes flew to Hux, who generously scooped the fingers of his spare hand into your mouth.  Deftly removing the egg, and in the same intake of breath swivelled your head towards him.  Pressing his lips against yours, to silence your scream of protest, whilst his fingers moved again.  Fast tight circles against your sex, intended to make your climax, quick and inescapable.  Your back tensed, arching against his chest, as you to your shame, and their obvious enjoyment, Hux made you cum.  It was a fraction of a click too late to save the pilot.  You watched through blurry eyes, as a flash of red as the sabre curved an arc through the air.

Guards dragged the lifeless body from the room and satisfied that it was over, Hux returned his full attention to you.  Swiping a stray strand of hair stuck to your gloss, replacing the egg in your mouth.  Had it been her spitting that caused her death, or your decision to give into temptation and look away?

“Next time you cum Pet, you must be careful.  I will not be as lenient, as to remove it.”

You nodded closing your mouth around the egg. Hux’s thumb wiped at the corners, tutting in mock sympathy as he dabbed at your tears, with his fingers.

“Hush now, you’ll ruin your makeup, besides there are others to try and save.”

Again, another Resistance member was brought in, this time you tried to pay little attention to them, other than noticing a petty officers uniform.  Desperately concentrating on the fingers still moving under your skirt.  You were overly sensitive from your first orgasm, and the swirling fingers at your already sensitive tiny bundle of nerves, was near on painful.  Replacing the tears of sympathy at the pilot, with those of over stimulation.  You longed to grit your teeth against his fast rubbing fingers, Ren offering his unseen support from across the room to Hux.  Helping hold you in place as you did your best to avoid cracking, the waiting time bomb on your tongue.   Drool now slipped from the corners of your mouth, but you ignored it.  Your fingers gripping tightly into the fabric of your dress, to steady your trembling body. 

You knew better than to look away now.  Eyes kept forwards, but deliberately unfocused on the human shape in front of you, or the travesty of a trial they gave them.  Again; you were so close, though this time it was a deliberate change in the pressure at your clit that stopped you, just before Ren swung the sabre, though this time you didn’t look away, or scream in protest when the body flopped to the floor.  Hux was doing it deliberately you realised this time, both cross and disappointed in yourself for foolishly thinking he would play fair.

Another came, and this time to add to your degradation your skirts were lifted higher.  The air cold against your heated wet sex.  The only thing protecting your sex from the prisoner’s eyes, was the hand of the man, on who’s lap you writhed, gasping in forced pleasure.

“You would think you don’t want to save them.”

He mock teased you, already he had you tensing, your body quickly building back up to its peak.  Mortified at the sound of your wet fingers as he stopped to slap them against your aching, dripping sex.  He reached around you, to run a finger around the swelling of your nipple, teasing its pebbled peak as he nuzzled at your neck, as again the body was exchanged for a live prisoner.     

The next prisoner you were determinedly ready for. Having made up your mind at the two failed attempts to willing and openly debase yourself. Whatever they thought of your actions, a life was worth so much more.  You leant further back against Hux’s chest, forcing yourself to relax, opening your legs wider to his fingers.  You dared to wrap your fingers around his wrist, when he went to remove it, grinding yourself against his fingers to finish what he had started.          

He laughed at your struggle to keep him there.  Congratulating you, both at your orgasm and keeping the eggshell parcel in your mouth intact, but not at saving the prisoner.  Time stood still, as for a horrifying moment, you thought it had all been for nothing, that he wouldn’t keep his promise.  You drew a sharp breath of relief through your nostrils, as Ren deactivated his sabre.  the prisoner you had thankfully saved; a medic Hux informed you, was led away.  The life imprisonment of her sentence, surely better than the death sentence Ren had been waiting to deliver, for his Emperor.

The guards admitted another prisoner, and you realised as Hux replaced his fingers again to your, sopping wet, now almost painfully sensitive twat, that he intended to repeat his offer.  You shook your head furiously, unable to do anything but shuffle back against his chest.  Your struggles so violent now that Ren had to openly lend Hux support to keep you in place.  Returning to openly pin you to Hux insuring there was no relief or protection from his deft fingers, or Ren’s questing mouth at your nipples. 

The Resistance members the guards escorted and shot at their Emperors command, were all a blur now as they were paraded before you.  You came another two times, congratulated again by Hux on two more lives saved before you desperately clawed at his hand.  Now there was just pain from the relentless manipulation of your sex. Your eyes implored first at Hux, who ignored your rubbing again. Then screaming pleas in your mind at Ren, begging him to listen as you doubled over, not caring as you finally yanked his hand away, at the consequences.

“You don’t want to save anymore?”

You shook your head, tears of exhaustion sliding from the corners of your eyes.  Your body flushed, and muscles waisted from the sheer exertion your last orgasm, had on you.  It wasn’t that you didn’t want to save them, you wanted to save them all, but this game had clearly been set up to ensure you would fail.  It would have been sheer torment to allow him to touch you there again, already his pants must have been soaked through, from your juices. Your only relief was that, it had warmed you all be it briefly, against the chill in the chamber.  Sweat had plastered the thin fabric of your gown to you, making it transparent in places. The swell of your heaving breasts, the pink of your nipples, clearly outlined against his trailing fingers.

The egg although cracked had thankfully not leaked. He removed it. letting you study it, before Ren carefully lowered your panting body to the cold floor.  He supported you as Hux held his hand out to you to clean it, Ren pocketing the egg, no doubt keeping it for another day.  You shivered against the cold of the floor, grateful for Ren’s warmth as you dutifully cleaned your mess from Hux’s leather glove. Running your tongue between the supple leather, along the seams to gather as ordered, the last of your musky, bitterness.

To your surprise then later your dismay, no more prisoners were shown in, Hux instead ordering them dispatched in their cells.

“Well done, you saved three.”

You had hoped to save more, and as Ren helped you to lower yourself tiredly to your front, you tried not to dwell on the many killed, but the few you had saved.  They must have recently discovered a surviving cell, for there to be so many. It had been so long since you’d been here, that surely all those captured alongside you, must have been dead by now. 

A booted foot prodding almost gently to your side, made you realise that somehow you had fallen asleep without permission at Hux’s feet.  You blinked back the sleep from bleary eyes, peering up at your Emperor, as you raised yourself up on one elbow.  The space before you, was again occupied; this time by what you assumed, judging by their outfits, to be visiting dignitaries. 

A man at the front, made an unnecessarily crude remark about your outfit, pointing to your collar and chain. Concerned you shuffled back towards Hux, hoping he wouldn’t grant the man the vulgar offer he had just made for your services.  If either of your captors had noticed your discomfort they didn’t show it, unconcerned at the man’s prying eyes.  You were after all on show here, and perhaps if the price was right available too.  You longed for the anonymity of your own bedchamber, but knew it wasn’t to be afforded you.  A Force-brush along your spine had you sitting up straighter, your legs still sticky with your drying cum, though thankfully easily hidden, as you adjusted your long skirts.  The smell of your previous arousal, permeated the air around you, making you pale as one of them approached the throne, offering a box to Hux. You were terrified he would smell you, and know what you had been doing.     

He dropped a package next to Hux, and you soon gathered that they were here to broker trade agreements, with the First Order.  The costly gifts they placed before Hux, an icebreaker to their requests.  It was boring, and you knew Hux would not give in to any demands that didn’t suit him, either way it no longer mattered to you.  Your entire existence seemed to revolve around the two cocks you serviced regularly. Only their pleasure mattered anymore, and if they decided to offer you to the man who had requested you, you would have no say in the matter. 

A sharp sudden cough from Ren brought your thoughts back to the present.  He had moved to stand to the right-hand side of Hux, directly behind you.  You frowned stiffening yourself for more bloodshed. Though this time you held no sympathy for the preening politicians and dignitaries.  These fattened cows deserved Ren’s wrath, for being so complicit in the First Orders business.  Ren dropped to a crouch behind you, leaning to hiss into your ear.

“Don’t worry Pet, we won’t share you with him.”

His lips were only a hare’s breath from your ears, and you knew only you had heard those words.  Either he knew Hux’s mind, and already the Emperor had made up his mind to decline the generous offer he made for you.  Or to further entice him, he wanted you to behave as though the man couldn’t have you.  You were shocked at the price offered, but more so when Hux placed a possessive hand to your head, and Ren stood to rest one of his enormous legs against your back.

You thought over it as more gifts and offers were presented to Hux.  It made sense that you were worth so much now, you clearly serviced an Emperor and his consort. The last man presented his gift, but Hux refused to give answers, sending them away with promises to reply later.  The man who’d made the offer for sex with you, looking back in clear appraisal of you before leaving.  Hux needed to think them over you realised, and probably confer with Ren.  Whilst you suspected, that he wouldn’t agree to anything based on Ren’s opinions alone, it would be foolish to avoid listening to the Force-user’s wool-gatherings.

The doors had just closed when Hux displayed his real reasons for dismissing the men so quickly.  He barely managed to unfasten his trousers, and lift your skirts, pulling you up, and in one smooth movement onto his cock.  Not caring to check that you were still wet, before burying himself inside you.  He bucked furiously into you, digging into your thighs.  You were thankfully still wet enough to take him, with only a mild burn of friction as he pumped himself into you, soon growing wet around him.

“Stupid oaf, thinks he can have what’s mine does he.”

You gasped, both at the possessiveness and the rough thrusting. Normally although passionate, Hux was far more in control than this. His words were forced, angry growls through clenched teeth.

“And you didn’t help, mooning at him with those bloody eyes.”

You blinked, this time completely taken aback by him.  Not able to work out which hurt you the most; his assumption, that you had been in anyway encouraging the other man. Or that you would have, had any choice in the matter, had Hux and agreed to his offer for you.  He used you, not just for his own fulfilment, but to prove mastery over your body, the thrusts slow, and deep, his teeth leaving more than one mark against your skin.  He kept one hand at the back of your collar, the chain wrapped around the other.

You had forgotten Ren was even there until he dropped to his knees, his hand placed to your collarbone.  Both to steady himself as he stroked his cock, and to push you back, his mouth at Hux’s ball sack. 

Hux came, first shouting muffled curses into the room.  He lifted you off him just enough to pull himself out, dragging Ren by the hair to bury his lips into your cunt.  You didn’t think you could have cum again so swiftly after earlier, but as Hux’s fingers kept his tongue there, you did.  Hux ripping the top of your dress from your collar, to pluck at your nipples, as Ren’s long tongue flicked inside you milking the last of your orgasm from you.

He groaned into you, at the combined tastes you, swilling the fluids over his tongue, gathering every last drop, he could reach of both you and Hux.  A nod at Hux had him standing up, Hux’s fingers digging into your cheeks forcing you mouth open.  Ren was close, his cock angry and red in his palm, as he hovered above you, fisting his length.  Lips pursed, and a milky white spit descended into your waiting mouth, followed swiftly by his cock pulsing on your tongue.  Hux held your mouth open a fraction longer, letting you taste the bitterness of Ren’s cum, mixed now with the tartness of yours and Hux’s fluids, before releasing you.  Giving the breathless command to swallow.

  

           


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am a health and productive member of society, honest!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a health and productive member of society, honest!

Two requests for your presence in one day was unusual, but then you had guessed by Hux’s earlier treatment of you; that he was eager to again flaunt ownership of you to his guests.  You had been returned as normal by the guards to your bed chamber to recuperate.  A simple sentence; of three hours were all the instructions they provided you with.  You had been thankfully allowed a portion of it for sleep, though sadly only a quick catnap, before the handmaidens bathing rituals began again.  They seemed indifferent to you, never nasty, though never kind either.  Each one here to do their job and nothing more.

 A service droid came; bleeping instructions as it handed over a series of small glass vials.  After some careful studying the lead handmaiden selected two of them.  Once she added to your bathwater, the other to a intoxicatingly fragranced carrier oil.  Bath over you were instructed to lay on a nearby surface, first facing down, then up; as another massaged it over your naked body.  It tingled small bursts of warmth in places, but not unbearably so.  Though it shocked you greatly, when she anointed two fingers with the mixture, swiftly plunging them without warning between your folds, and into the channel of your cunt.  There was no time for embarrassment, or shock to register; before she pulled them out.  She washed her hands, and carried on assisting your dressing. It amazed you how matter-of-factly she carried on, to say she had just had her fingers placed inside you.  It tingled a little longer against the more sensitive flesh there, though again you breathed through it, the sensations soon dying down to mere background irritation. 

This time after styling your hair, the dress they placed you into was very short. Almost indecently so, though no less beautiful or extravagant than any of your other clothing.  Expensive jewellery was added, a mix of gold and silver bangles at your ankles and wrists, a plainer but no less costly band placed at your head.  It wouldn’t do, for even Hux’s prisoners to appear lacking, you thought bitterly as they finished their final touches.  Escorts arrived and you held onto the back of the dress as they led you to your destination, scared that any sudden movement, would expose your bare ass cheeks to the guards. It felt like the hem hung an inch or two below your ass cheeks, and not being able to check yourself before leaving made you self-conscious. Each step allowing the cold air to brush tantalisingly against your sex, tingling slightly where it touched the oil slick skin.  

It was pointless, to worry the guards knew better than to even look at you. Though that didn’t stop the constant worry, that there was always the fear one would give in and sneak a peek.  Then again if the Emperor didn’t like his men looking, then why display you so openly to them.  Why you thought sorrowfully, did he insist on at times having Ren fuck you so openly?  So lost were you to your nerves, that the sharp painful tap to your hands had you jumping, puzzling over when Ren had snuck up on you.  A pointed look from him to your hands had you dropping them obediently to your sides, as Ren studied you before the waiting guards.  It always made you uncomfortable, this assessing you like you were an animal on parade.  Whilst it had yet to happen you were afraid to even think of the consequences should your appearance be less than pleasing.  Happy with your attire, Ren took the chain from the guards.  They followed like trained dogs, until he dismissed them outside a heavily carved wooden door.  You waited, again patiently, it was a skill you had learnt quickly though it bored you.  Waiting though you had learnt was better than what came after, the guards had gone, before Ren moved again.  His heavy frame backed you swiftly to the wall beside the door, almost winding you with how quickly he moved, his massive frame pinning you with ease, pinning you to the cold, smooth stone. 

His hands slipped up your thighs, almost leisurely in their speed, making you wonder if you were somehow early.  He ran them both under the skirt of the dress, each massive hand cupping one with ease, lifting you onto a carved shelf to bring you almost level with his chin. It drew attention; to his larger size and strength, and again became a constant reminder of your lack of panties.  One hand slid up to the small of your back, lifting your skirt with him.  The other finger ran the hollow between both ass cheeks, stopping only to press up and against the tiny closed hole.  He pressed down, but didn’t push for entry, drawing back his fingers, holding them just under your mouth; before ordering you to spit on them.  Adding his own spittle to them before lowering his hand, rubbing the mixed saliva against your opening.  You twitched as his finger sought entry, the mixed saliva not enough.   

He hummed, at the current dilemma, kissing silent any protests, as his fingers reached between your legs.  You were already slick from the effects of the oil; aided no doubt by the cool air of the journey here.  It was simply a case of gathering that wetness that threatened to drip down your thighs.   Ren scooped your fluids onto one large forefinger, adding to the mess already present at your rear-end.  This time when he tried placing a finger inside you, it slid easier, though your hesitance to be used in such a way, had you still making it unintentionally difficult for him.  With Hux you always knew better than to complain, though with Ren the outcome was less sure, and so you risked it. Openly chiding him, requesting that if he had to continue, he please use better lubrication. 

He kept the finger seated inside you, your chest still pressed to the expanse of his as he considered your request.  When his spare hand left your ass to dip into his pocket, you expected oil, or lubricant, not the hard, cold object he swirled around your sex. Nudging your legs open with his thigh, to both dip the thick object inside you and to coat it generously in your fluids.

“You seem to be producing plenty yourself.”

Your cheeks heated furiously from his jest at your discomfort at your current state.  He was not normally unpleasant without provocation, and so you took his words to mean a warning of his disregard to your comfort.  Hux had never been shy of using that hole, but had always taken his time not to hurt you, Ren normally avoided any permeant damage.  Whilst their efforts to ensure you had enjoyment from Hux’s cruel treatment of you was degrading; Ren’s ordered punishments of you were always for failing at clearly attainable goals, or in the earlier days an outright defiance of his wishes.  Never had they hurt you too badly, or as Ren now risked, in opening any hole up to his cock.  Then again your panicked brain supplied in an afterthought, Hux had never actually hurt you himself.  Every restraint or painful punishment was given by Hux, to Ren to carry out, always perfect and precise in his instructions of how he expected his wishes to be obeyed.  Maybe, you thought as he slid his finger out, replacing it with the object in his other hand, this was somehow a punishment, given to Ren to carry out on Hux’s behalf.  Ren gave a small shush into your ear, his muscled forearm wrapping easily around your waist.  You willed yourself to relax; reasoning that anticipating the pain that was to come, was like being hurt twice.  Better to relax and just accept whatever Hux had instructed Ren to do to you.  It was a pleasant shock, when the object slid painlessly into your ass, gripped tightly by your closing walls.

A groan, and he dipped his fingers past the neckline of your dress.  The bodice was ruffled, slightly thicker than the sheer fabrics normally allotted to you.  His fingers sought out your nipples, a gentle pressure left in place as each hand left you.  Curious you ran your fingers up to check, swatted away quickly by Ren. The now free hand reached to pinch your chin, tilting you to watch him.  There were no threats, but the sincerity in his face left no illusions to his meaning as he spoke.

“You will perform well, and with no hint of non-conformity.  Is that understood.”

You nodded, the clamps and butt-plug leaving you with no illusions as to how you were to perform.  The pressure to your nipples, wasn’t great, just a gentle squeezing.  But it would keep them firm, and ensure they rubbed against your dress, with every movement.  Around the plug residue traces of the oil tingled, making you want to squirm at first.  A moment or two later, and you had it under control, pleased that you had mastered their latest round of torture well.  A tight-lipped smirk from Ren, and his fingers dipped under your skirt, his fingers finding your swollen cunt with ease.  The congratulations he offered, for your control, were soon put to the test as two of his fingers pushed easily inside you.  The plug at your backside made his fingers feel larger, your cunt fuller as he fucked you with them, your nipples stiff inside your bodice.  You were slick enough that Ren’s huge digits slid easily inside you, and the thumb at your clit soon had your orgasm building.  It was to your shame, that you had realised long ago that, you were becoming far too easily responsive to everything these men did to you.  Finding it at times all too pleasurable, and yourself far too willing in the acceptance of the touch of your enemies. 

Footsteps sounded, voices came from somewhere nearby in the building and you ignored them, the fingers buried in your cunt the only thing you could think of.  The footsteps sounded closer, and still Ren held you pinned, making whispered threats to hurry against your ear.  You gave a muted gasp, your legs shuddering as you mounted your orgasm, crying out in protest as he removed his hand from you.  You glowered at him in frustration, your orgasm wasted. You drew breath and opened your mouth; ready to voice those frustrations when he laughed slipping his fingers over your tongue.  The fingers tasted of your precum, and the pressure against it made talking impossible, your protests; an indecipherable garbled mess of words. 

The footsteps had arrived; and sighting the guards leading the Emperors procession; you dropped silently to your knees in ready for him. The knight beside you offering Hux an unneeded, but reverential bow.  Hux chuckled at you both, pleased to accept this show of power and the order it created.  You watched through lowered lashes; as the two men exchanged both the kiss of greeting, and whispered words.  A tug at your chain had you standing, shocked when Hux pulled your mouth up to offer you the same chaste kiss; murmuring a greeting.  It left you unsteady, both of mind, and of your feet and you were grateful when he gave you a moment to settle yourself before leading you through the wooden door. 

It led into a small mirror panelled room. An antechamber of sorts you realised; meant to be used as a final check, before entering the door beyond.  A cough from Ren had Hux pausing, before that opening the door, he looked pointedly to where Ren held up your skirt.  The view clear to you wherever you looked in the glass room, and you blushed eyes swinging quickly to the floor.  The plug at your ass was quite a pretty one, it twinkled gold, light dancing brilliantly off a clear jewel in the centre.  Hux retraced his steps to you, his fingers running a circle around the gem before he leant over you; to kiss Ren.  You thought yourself forgotten by both men, as they passionately exchanged kisses.  Both their firm chests squashing you between them, Ren’s enormous muscles at your back, the firmer slender ones of Hux pressed to your chest, pushing your taut little nipples, tight against him.  It seemed Ren’s gift of the plug pleased Hux.  Someone’s fingers remembered you were there, long before any other acknowledgements of you. They pressed the plug deeper into you, fucking you with it.  Your body already hummed with the desire from Ren’s denied orgasm, and forgetting yourself, you mewled quietly against Hux’s chest.  

It seemed to draw his attention back to you, he blinked apologising so politely, so gravely for forgetting his pet, before again offering you heated kisses.  Afterwards you would berate yourself for seeming too eager, but desire seemed to strum your body tonight, drawing you to him like a moth to a naked flame.  It was all too soon when Hux broke the kiss, taking a moment to both check his own attire and your own.  The Emperor almost pouting, as he pulled your skirt back over the smooth skin of your ass.

A moment or two later, and all three of you emerged from the antechamber, into the next room.  It was clearly a room built solely for both entertainment and pleasure. Dimly lit wall lamps and low tables surrounded a flat open space, floor pillows, and low couches strewn everywhere else.  The small party of visiting dignitaries was present, as well as one or two palace staff, none of them familiar to you.  Not that you supposed it mattered, none of them were here for you, you were quite clearly the pleasure slave, Kylo Ren Hux’s consort.  A clear space had been set out in the room, and you padded closer, following close to Ren’s lead.  The Hux sat himself down on one couch, Ren beside him. leaving an obvious place for you, on the floor below.  A flick of Hux’s wrist and you delicately you set yourself down in it, careful to keep your back to Hux and Ren, not wanting to lift your skirts. 

It was obvious that there would be food, and entertainment. Each visiting dignitary presenting something in tribute from their own worlds.  Food and drink seemed to flow, and Hux and Ren partook of both, appearing to be pleased with it all. Though you suspected privately, that some of the dancer’s overt displays were probably a little too crudely made for Hux.  It would not be easily obvious to others in the room, probably just to you and Ren.  Both of you now highly proficient in the small changes to his demeanour that signalled his displeasure. 

It was the ambassador from Zeltros who drew most queering looks at their Emperor.  You gathered swiftly, that the pleasure slaves now dancing were a part of his entertainment for the night.  Whilst the Ambassador had been a human male; the same man who had offered Hux the exorbitant amount to bed you, some of his slaves were not.  A mixture of female Twi’leks and native born Zeltrons splattered with humans; their purpose was obvious, as they performed.  It elicited an odd pang of jealousy towards them, when the man now moved closer besides you; suggested that Hux would enjoy pairing off with one.  The open sneer of distaste he gave the man, before he took a swig of drink had never looked so good, shocking you.  The ambassador not getting the hint, then moved to suggest sending you up to join what had almost become a almost blatant sexual display.  You went to shrink back, before a pointed look from Hux had you feigning the movement as a readjustment of your position; sitting straighter, trying to appear docile and willing at the man’s suggestions.  You held fast onto Ren’s promise that you wouldn’t be shared, your hope fuelled by Hux’s display of jealousy. 

Another comment was made about his earlier tributes.  Asking of Hux’s intentions for the earlier gift of a large cut gem and gold. A woman opposite, joined the discussion, suggesting a new crown, for her Emperor or perhaps a royal seal.  Her loyalty seemed genuine, her glass swiftly raised in a lull in the music to offer a toast to her Emperor.  Ren lifted a glass from a nearby service droid, it placed against your lips, to join the toast.  The man again asked of his gift, Ren’s pointed smirk making you realise all at once, that they would never be made into anything Hux would wear.  You blinked, sipping again at the wine.  Hux was never mean in his gifts to you, each item of jewellery kept in your chambers solely for your use, and now a priceless jewel and the small fortune of gold buried in your ass added to that stockpile.  You were not quite unsure how you should feel, as your bottom clenched on the ambassadors’ gift, was it meant as an insult to the man, or a jest that it went somewhere he couldn’t have.

The evening went on, the conversation turning towards that of the Resistance.  The wine flowed, and both men fed you titbits from their fingers, more than once your glass was replaced.  The alcohol strummed your veins, the tempo of your heart echoed in each pulse point, sweat weaving a small thread down your back, as blood thumped at your clit.  Another glass, another toast you dared  not decline, your skin buzzed now, the effects of the oil seemed to last well, increasing with every hour.  You sat still, doing your best to appear unaffected in a room full of strangers, none of them kind to the Resistance.  It seemed each planets ruler, was eager to wipe out any remaining sympathy, and again the Zeltros ambassador spoke out of turn.

“We would all find them as easy to put down, if we had the resources you did.”

You flinched, as vulgar as you found the man, there had been enough bloodshed this morning, was this man stupid enough to risk Ren adding his own to that pile?  It was the stupidest thing you could have done, you had sat so still so quietly, and Hux was now itching for a chance to show his authority. 

He could have simply berated the man, and perhaps would have. If you hadn’t reminded him you were there, and something the man opposite wanted.  Silence had already fallen, if you looked up you knew you’d find all eyes on you, as the Emperor stroked your head.

“If you refer to the First Order’s Army, then simply ask Veers, I am sure we can station a garrison there.”

You dared to look up at The man’s face blew almost purple with suppressed rage, he had walked straight into Hux’s plan, and as the fingers trailed across your shoulders you knew he wasn’t done.  He stammered out a hasty reply.

“We have not the knowledge of your methods your Majesty.”

Hux feigned laugher, you took a gulp of your drink, assuming quickly the best thing for you in this coming storm would be for you to be as intoxicated as possible.  When you looked up at Veers sweat tracked his ugly face.  You didn’t need to be a Force-user to see that the man hummed with self-righteous indignation.  It would be an all too easy mouthful for Hux to chew up and spit out.

“My, methods are simple Veers; Find anyone remaining with links to that terrorist organisation and put them down.”

His voice was disinterested, and had Veers had accepted defeat more graciously you doubted Hux would have publicly shamed him.  As it was his promises to discuss it on the next day did not sit well with Hux.

“You wanted to bed my Pet, yes Veers?”

Horrified you forgot your place, and eyes flew up to Hux, remembering at the last moment not to address him publicly without invitation.  Veers either stupid, or blind drunk picked up, at the mention of you.  Quickly you lowered your head, hoping to undo the damage you had caused, to become again unnoticeable.  Hux cupped your cheek, and somehow you managed not to flinch under his touch as he patted it gently.

“I don’t think that would work Veers, even as obedient as she is, she is horrified at being given over to someone so, lacking.”

The room erupted into tittered laughs at Veer’s expense, you didn’t join in, but sat straighter.  You were not out of the woods yet, your safest bet now was to play at being everything Hux wanted you to be. 

“If she is that obedient; she would go where told, without questioning.”

He had already signed his death warrant, and now he was determined to either carry you with him, or else burn you on the way down. 

“Oh on the contrary, she does exactly as I say.”

There was a raw edge of irritated fury to his voice, subtle in his derisiveness of the man.  Heavens alone, knew where this was going.  You would have no choice but to obey, Ren would see to it if you failed, and Hux would visit your humiliation on you tenfold if you did.  He rubbed a thumb over your closed mouth, hooking his thumb between your gently parting lips, to tilt your head to Ren.  His eyes were lidded, and dark, his Force-traits had made him privy to his Emperor’s wishes before you were.  Though, judging by the lump in his trousers; you could now make an educated guess.  Swallowing hard against the lump at your throat, Hux leaned into your ear, his quietly hissed command betraying all the fury he kept hidden from the room.

“Suck his cock.”

You nodded, as much to convince yourself to move, as to acknowledge Hux’s orders.  Twisting, you had to move so slowly, so tentatively, to avoid lifting the hem of your skirt too high.  To crawl would have arched your back, and shown off your bare undercarriage, and so you shuffled between Ren’s waiting thighs. 

Eyes running up him, you waited.  Hoping that he would do something to appear complicit in this.  Anything to make it look less like you were the eager slut in all of this and him no more than a passing pawn in Hux’s games.  A heart beat longer, and you knew you had waited long enough.  Ren’s eyes danced, darker in the half light, and you reached a hand up for the fasteners on his trousers, sliding both arms slowly up the muscular expanse of his thighs. 

“No hands pet.”

The sudden grip of fear almost had you bolting from the room, that though pushed aside when he held down a large glass of strong drink, forcing you to swallow it all.  No hands meant you would have to open that fastener with your mouth.  It also meant leaning up further, creating more of a risk that your skirt would ride too high, all your careful posturing would be for naught.  You legs had turned to ice, but they thankfully held still.  The drink warmed in your belly, as you gripped the fastener between your lips, pulling it down.  His cock waited, thankfully hard, and you nuzzled it from the confined of his trousers. 

Your cheeks had heated so with embarrassment, that you thought you would die, and would have done so happily by any method to escape this.  How Ren could look so comfortable with what was happening, you would never know.  A discomforted cough sounded from somewhere behind you, as your tongue flicked the tip making it bounce at your touch.  You kept your eyes firmly on Ren, refusing to think about the smattering of dignitaries behind you.  Would their faces burn for you, as yours did now, or did they lack enough empathy to care?  The light was thankfully dim enough that any odd flashes, would leave the room unable to tell it you were undressed, or if it was just a trick of the light.  You took the head of Ren’s cock in your mouth, bobbing your neck as you ran your painted lips along his shaft. 

“See,” Spoke Emperor Hux, addressing the room as much for Veer’s benefit as anyone else’s. “the lone survivors of that regime, are so very easily kept in check.”

Tears slipped from your cheeks at that, left to dry on your skin, lone trails of kohl smudged lines, cutting the perfect curves of your made up face.  To further debase you, Ren ordered your hands placed to the tops of his legs.  It meant a new angle, one which would raise the angle of your hips, showing your bare glistening pussy off to the room.  Impatient with your efforts, Ren pushed your head further onto his cock.  It had a much wider girth than Hux, though thankfully not too much longer.   You had only just managed to take Hux’s cock comfortably into your throat, and it worried you now that you would disgrace yourself; by failing so publicly, if Ren tried to force you to take his. 

Fingers brushed aside hair, and you looked up at Ren, your mouth full of his cock his own face showing both the flush of drink, and pleasure.  That had to be a good thing you thought, at least if you pleased Ren, Hux might be happy.  You shut out the world around you, concentrating only the man beneath you, until the smell of his musk, and the beat of his pulse, as it throbbed in on your tongue.  It made the tingling at your sex harder to ignore, and each movement; had the erect tissue of your nipples, rubbing against him.  You squirmed absently pressing your legs together, and low moan sounded.  It reverberated through you, making your cunt squeeze around nothing, your ass twitching around the plug.  A moment later, it hit what you had done, and you scolded yourself, screaming choice insults inside your head.  What the hell were you becoming, now so eager to please you’d debase yourself for pleasure?  And which was better; to give in and ignore the indignity of being watched, or to remain aware, and therefore more in control of your body?

The blowjob seemed to go on for hours, though you doubted even Ren had the stamina to delay orgasm that long.  You guided yourself on a careful, all be it wavering line between isolation and indifference.  Ren’s hands seemed to work to guide your mouth to where he wanted, controlling you like you were some puppet designed for his pleasure.  Though thankfully, the powerful muscles of his legs, seemed to remain stoic beneath you, no attempt of his usual lewd thrusting.  Your mouth was clearly meant to do the work here, not Ren; but it ached, your lips almost numb with effort, your lips swollen, smeared with saliva lipstick. Precum and drool, slicking both your cheeks, and his cock mixed red with the lipstick.  

A sharp command from Hux and a pull at your collar, had you pulled up to Ren’s waiting arms.  His hands dipped under your skirt, one arm wrapped under your bottom and the other gripping the loose fabric of your skirt.  You gathered as Ren lifted the skirt high, the discussion had been again something to do with the small fortune buried in it.  You wiped your hand over your mouth, hoping as you did so it tidied the mess Ren’s cock had made of you.  A muttered comment from Ren at your ear instructed you to look back a Veers.  You did, as instructed, cheeks pale, your heart in your stomach at having to again address the room.  The others had gone, snuck out or directed to leave, you didn’t know.  

Ren’s mouth pressed to your bare shoulder, as he too looked back, but his look was a smirk of utter triumph. You prayed the light was soft enough to hide the smudges of lipstick, and drying fluids around your mouth, but knew in reality this is what both men wanted to show their guest.  You suspected there was more to this than just Hux’s jealousy of the man, The Emperor was far too controlled to let this just be about this.  It made you shudder to think even his loyal subjects faced the displeasure of his wrath.  His breath was warm, then it again tickled your ear.     

“Shall we make him truly envious Pet?”

Ren’s suggestion that you were complacent in all of this, sickened you.  Had it looked that way to the rest of the room, had they left thinking you happy with your lot?  You were deftly turned around, by Ren, pulled back towards him, you bent your knees over the couch, straddling him.  The head of his cock, nudging your waiting sex.  He slid into you slowly and you gasped, panting at the intrusion.  He had always been large, but the plug at your waiting hole made you feel fuller, almost painfully so.  An arm wrapped your waist, his lips at your neck as he fucked you, positioned just so, to keep you on display to your captive audience.  His strokes lengthened, and soon the sound of his cock ploughing your slick pussy, reverberated loudly through the room.  Sounding worse to your nervous ears, than your racing breath.  Your legs spread wide to accommodate his, splaying your sex wide to him, your engorged clit rubbing his balls on each pass.  An open hand at you back forced you over his knees, and you gripped his knees for support, using them to press back off as you rode his cock.   

“Such a good little Pet, to service her Master’s cock. when it is unseemly for me to do it myself.”

You dared not look back at Hux, even your passive face would have challenged his praise of you.  You grit your teeth, trying not to give into the tensely mounting pleasure.  They would have to make you cum, you realised, it showed true mastery over your body, to force it to do as they wished.  Tears ran in rivulets over your cheeks, and you no longer cared how you must look, so determined to hold back as long, as possible.  Your body ached with the strain, of each suppressed shake, and every thrust into you, was like torture as his cock sawed into you and his balls rubbed your aching clit.  Fingers pressed, against the plug, his hand thrusting it into your ass, in time with his hips.

Another thrust, his own breath ragged in your ear, swear dripping onto your back.  You knew on the next it would be too much for him, and you knew a moment of pride thinking you had won.  He wasn’t done yet though; a sharp slap to your ass rang out, the shock of it making you lose control, that thrust your last too.  His cry was an animalistic growl of victory, to your wounded shriek as you orgasmed.  Both holes full, and edged so long by yourself, it was perhaps your strongest yet, and you flopped exhausted.  Ren permitted you a breath or two before shoving your broken, swear soaked body to the floor, he wasn’t impressed.  To the room, it may have looked like he edged you that long deliberately, but with his Force-gifts, he knew exactly what you had been up to.  Your earlier command to perform well sprung to mind, and you waited nervously.

“Clean up your mess, and don’t swallow it until I say.”

You sprung quickly to Ren’s demand, hoping that he would take this in apology, that you would be forgiven if you did well.  You suck the bittersweet musk, of your combined cum from his softening cock.  Careful not to dwell too long on over sensitised flesh, you even ran your tongue over his ball sack, gathering what you could there.  Finished you knelt back, his fingers scooping more from inside you, to add to the small puddle on your tongue.  You knelt obediently awaiting your next command, as around you the men made ready to leave, finishing their drinks in silence.  Hux gave Veers a sneer of a farewell, and you wondered by the pointed refusal to bid him goodnight, if he would last until the morning.  Ren pulled you up, holding onto your leash, for his Emperor and lover.  You followed, your mouth heavy with fluids, it wasn’t often that Ren thought up his own punishments and you wondered if Hux would request a reason from Ren. He didn’t thankfully, and dutifully you held onto it, until you reached the door to your bedchamber. 

“Has she behaved herself?”

The question was made to Ren, and you knew Hux was asking if you had conformed enough mentally.  Your mind ran amok with possible outcomes, if Ren told him how he’d nearly failed, it would not be seen by Hux; as a mark against him, but you.  A finger tapped your lips, and was followed by an instruction to open your mouth.  You did, though Ren didn’t need to look to know you’d conformed, he did anyway content at the sight of the milky white strands, held amongst your saliva.  He smirked and gave you permission to finally swallow.

“More or less so.”

Your head dipped waiting, to see if it was enough to pass Hux’s strict standards.  The men continued their conversation, and you shivered, the sweat sheen on your bare flesh making you so cold, in the airy corridors.  It was difficult, tired as you were, but you quickly supressed it before risking upsetting Hux. When he spoke, he seemed weary himself, though at your behaviour rather than the late hour.

“Your reward for good behaviour was to have been a favour.  Whilst we have agreed you may ask, we will confer over it, and let you know tomorrow.”

You thought on at Hux’s offer, as he opened the door for you hovering just inside of it.  Anything too grand was always going to be refused, and likely this was part of his game in not telling you.  Nothing was ever set up for you to win.  You quickly thought over small changes that could better your life now.  You had almost thought to ask for a datapad, or at least some reading material when another thought suddenly grabbed you, one you hoped they would go for. 

“Underwear?”

Both men laughed, and you realised you should have been more eloquent in your request.  But it was too late now.  Ren drew you to a quick kiss, and you realised swiftly he was bidding you goodnight.  It was as Hux kissed you, his lips gentler, more reserved that you realised blessedly that you would be left alone that night.

 

 

                           


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a two parter, I will post the rest when I can.

It was sometime during the broken half-light before dawn.  The whole palace seemed to be in complete uproar, apparently placing you on lock down too.  Not that there was anything different to normal, you thought bitterly, staring at the same, unchanged walls of your chamber.   Ren had burst without warning into your chamber, sabre ignited and heavily flanked by guards.  You had been asleep, blessedly alone in your own bed.  In confusion at the sudden commotion you had pushed the sleep from your blurry frightened eyes, and drawn yourself tighter up in bed. He was furious, and you expected him to strike at any moment.  He looked you over, chest panting eyes wide, the guards standing ready for action, as Ren searched the room.  He wasn’t gentle in his efforts to find what he was looking for. Tossing open wardrobes, almost ripping the curtains from their hangers.

He was searching for someone you soon realised, each space he checked would have been at a push, large enough to hide a humanoid.  The search seemed to prove futile, for Ren, though that did nothing to calm him, as he regarded you again.  In your lowest moments, you had often hoped for death. Always assuming dying was preferable to what they did to you, that was until now, when faced with the iron cold visage of Ren in killing mode. It evoked pure terror in you, as he looked over you, light-sabre still drawn and ready.  You knew then that if he ever chose to kill you, it would never be a quick death.  Neither Ren nor Hux took failure well, and you knew he was looking for that. This person had somehow failed him, and you offered prayers to anyone who could hear you, that it wasn’t you. 

His jaw clenched repeatedly as he looked down at you, as you curled up tighter, trying to escape his notice.  You prayed fervently to anyone that could hear you, that you did not further upset him.  This was not how you wanted to go.  Ren had then prowled, slowly towards you, arm stretched in a claw towards you.  You screamed then, your body having never known pain, or despite all they had put your through, a violation like this.  He searched your innermost thoughts, though was careful to leave no clues, as to what he looked for.  Thick dull talons dragged through your mind, searching you realised; but for what you screamed at him in thought.  Nobody went in or out of your room without their permission, and that included you.  You had nobody, and knew nothing they didn’t already know, why did he now have to force this onto you, these further intrusions. 

The mind rape seemed to go on forever and he was not gentle, nor kind.  He brought up things you had long since hoped to forget.  It left you clutching at your head in a desperate plea for him to leave it.  Every muscle of your fragile body so tensed, that they threatened to snap your bones.  It was over as soon as it had begun, and you whined into the sheets in agony.  Tears over spilling your cheeks, your breathing ragged, throat scratched sore from screaming.  Ren’s chest had heaved as he looked down at you.  If he had found what he was looking for Ren never, told you, and you were too frightened to ask him.  You didn’t want that be a reason for him to incriminate you. 

Eventually, he seemed to have given up, and disgruntled at not finding what he was looking for, he had spun on his heels.  Finally leaving you to fall back, exhausted, your body drenched with sweat, onto the cool pillows.  He had demanded of the guards to stay close to your room, and that two of your handmaidens had been woken; and forced into the large bed with you.  Leaving you, to worry that he had not found what he was looking for.  You dreaded him returning later, the pain now settled to a dull throb, that beat a new pain with every pulse of your heart.  It left you, tossing and turning, unable to return to you sleep from worry and the blinding pain at your skull. 

It hadn’t effected the two gently snoring servants.  They seemed to sleep well even when disturbed, which made you suspect that they knew what Ren was looking for.  You hated the watchers at either side of the immense bed, they symbolised everything you no longer had.  Freedom, and the ability to be rested, to be at peace.  They would no doubt be grilled about your nightly behaviour, and whilst you knew you had nothing to hide, still you felt as though you tread on eggshells.   

Ren’s final words as he left, were a snarled order to the guards to reiterate, that you didn’t leave your room and to ensure the handmaidens dismissed any visitors.  It was laughable; you had never been aloud to leave your rooms, and you knew no one to visit, save Emperor Hux, and Kylo Ren.  Sighing you turned over to your side, but you were so worried that sleep wouldn’t claim you, and so eventually you settled for laying there, silently waiting for the morning. 

The morning had come soon enough, and so had a brief snatching of sleep.  A droid came, baring a package for the lead handmaiden, from Hux.  You hoped that they were undergarments, and that Hux had agreed to your boon.  You were not hungry, but at the silent glowers as you declined, forced you to brake your fast, on tiny nibbles of bread and sips of juice.  The lead handmaiden had squirreled the package away from your prying eyes and into your vast wardrobe.  Your gut clenched as you realised practically; that it was probably just another round of torture.  Was that all last night had been too, another way of ensuring you toed the line? 

You couldn’t force yourself to eat anymore, and ignored their pointed looks. Far too tired, and too tightly sprung from the night before to care.  They had never hurt you enough to leave a mark, but they had their ways of making you compliant.  They could make it very unpleasant, should you choose not to obey, wilfully, or just by not understanding their orders.  There was a signal for your picked over tray to be removed, and the daily ritual of preening begun. 

That itself was exhausting, and both demoralising and degrading.  You had been a useful member of the Resistance, an educated and intelligent free woman.  But now reduced to little more than an ornamented doll, your days were spent idle.

Though idle was always preferable to being summoned. It was always better to wait in dread, than to be summoned for Hux’s entertainment.  There was becoming a slow pattern in it these last few weeks, as their slave.  Always they gave your body time to recuperate from their attentions, to recover before using you again. Though could it really be called a rest? How was waiting nerves tight, coiled like a spring ready to be released resting or recovery? 

Hux was right; Ren was a brute, there was never anything gentle about the way he fucked you, to completion.  Even slow, he could if he chose to; leave you sore, bruised and aching.  But Hux could be far worse, especially when with Ren.  They thrived off competing with one another and Hux’s idea of pleasure was all too often; to humiliate you. Or worse to demand that Ren wring small painfilled cries from your body for him.  You never looked abused, but more than once, both men had made it impossible to even sit without pain.  Hux had disliked that, he called it you squirming, and with a steel glint in his eyes, he had threatened to have you flogged harder if you didn’t sit still. 

Real or imaginary; your faults could soon drive Hux to order some new and cruel punishment. Ones which he would sit back and enjoy, whilst Ren worked up a sweat, delivering them to your soft body.

You were dressed for today, as always to perfection. Another expensive and long gown. it would seem you always had to be ready.  It would be lacking, for you not to appear perfect, should they visit or call for you.  Your hair was coiled up, and eyes defined as always in dark kohl.  The dress chosen was backless, and the gap strung across with ropes of clear jewels and pearls, layered across your smooth spine.  You again had to concede with sadness, that you looked beautiful.  Hux at least had good taste when it came to clothing.  It was a shame he hadn’t any about his own actions.  You were instructed at the last moment, to hold up your long skirts; and guided into what you hoped fervently was finally underwear.  They seemed to feel that way as they were dragged up your bare legs, and silently you thanked your lucky stars, pausing in thought.

For underwear to have been acquired so quickly; you suspected that you had wasted your boon. Could it not have been wiser spent better on a little freedom, rather than this vanity?  These garments had to have been laid ready for you.  Hux had already commissioned them, either for such a request, or because he fancied a change to your attire.  Once again you had played right into Hux’s hands, and stupidly given him ideas for a new game to begin.  These knickers could be called underwear of a sort, but their purpose certainly was not to cover you. 

The crotch was devoid of fabric, and nestled between the lips of your sex, was strung a smooth string of what felt like round, smooth beads.  You were furious, both with yourself, for walking into it and your captors for being so cruel.  Both men must be laughing gleefully now, at how easy you were to manipulate.  The gathered skirts, in your arms; had afforded you no view of them, and they had been careful not to let you see the panties before they placed them on you.

You didn’t need to see, to know what they were, you could feel them as you walked.  With each step, they rubbed against your clit, pressed tighter by your hurried steps to keep up with the guards.  The pace was set deliberately fast.  Either them taking amusement were they would, or on order by their leaders.  They delivered you into a large open courtyard, slowing down as they lead you onwards.  Between your legs you grew slick with arousal; your body already betraying you in this latest game.  Tears threatened to spill, but you blinked them back, your head bowed in shame at what this was doing to your body.  The courtyard was truly beautiful, leafy plants fragrant with beautiful flowers, and above you huge trees sheltered you from the sun.  Soon, their winding pathways lead you towards an open space, and with a slight bow, the guards announced your presence to their Emperor, before leaving you.

Both him and Ren sat calmly together, they appeared to be taking tea on a sheltered patio.  It was the first time in forever, that you had been allowed outside. The sun was bright to you, even at this early hour of the day, and the air so sweet and fresh that your lungs greedily took great breaths of it.  Alone, you walked tentatively forwards, frightened of both upsetting the ache between your legs, and these men.  It must have rained overnight; the ground was still damp with it.  The verdant greenery dripping crystal droplets of precipitation.

Close now, you gathered in you skirts, ready to keep them clean as you knelt.  A servant stepped forwards to pull back a chair in readiness, and you froze skirts gathered to your knees.  It was probably a foolish to stammer in your movements, but you were not sure if to take the floor or that chair was proffered to you.  It was not safe to assume the chair was yours, nor was it safe to assume it was not.  There may have been other guests soon to arrive, or it may have been an oversite by the servant.  Your heart beat faster, such a silly thing to get worked up by.  But they had you so on tenterhooks now, that small things mattered to you far more than they ever should have. 

Lost you dared to look through your lowered lashes, desperate for a clue as to your predicament. The two men seemed not to have yet noticed you, their heads bent in conversation.  Hux stroked Ren’s cheek affectionately, and you felt pangs of sorrow.  For all the tenderness they could display to one another; neither ever showed you any.

Beneath the delicately wrought table; Ren’s fingers twitched and there was a press at your back in acknowledgment to you.  Delicately, ghostly hands guided you towards the empty chair. They kept an unseen hold on you, only leaving you, after you were seated to Hux’s left. 

The servants at Ren’s order poured you tea, and dutifully you waited until Hux spoke in greeting to drink.  Quietly you drank, breathing calmness to your swollen sex, as you waited for Hux to notice you.  When he did, he again offered you the kiss of greeting, and you dared not deny him it.  Knowing he could now see what your walk here had wrung from you, as you pressing your own mouth obediently to his. 

The tea was lightly fragranced and warming. Your body despite the warmth of the morning sun was unnaturally cold, exhaustion leeching warmth from your bones. The lack of sleep making your body behave erratically.  You sipped the hot liquid, grateful for the warmth that seeped into you, gratefull as it replaced the chill.  Small sweetcakes and petite fours were placed on small silver platters, and these the Emperor fed you.  Disregarding the stickiness to pinch them between finger and thumb, placing them into your mouth, his only concession to you being there. 

You wondered why you had been summoned, if it was for the company of your body then why leave untouched?  Neither men seemed to want you for anything else, so why else would you be here?  They seemed to be discussing the commotion last night, and your ears picked up listening for clues to what had happened.  It appeared that Veers, has gone missing, the man probably doing so to avoid being run through by Ren and his sabre.  The handed over intel had pointed at him hiding somewhere nearby, and last night he had received word of him nearby the palace. 

Was that why Ren had been in your bedchamber last night, had he thought that Veers could be hiding there?  Couldn’t Ren have worked out by now, how much that man made your skin crawl, you would offer him no sanctuary.  You were under no illusions that he would have done you, or you body any kindnesses, should you have been able to help him.  Even so, he had he deserved to die? Was it because only because he hadn’t allowed Hux to station a garrison on his home world?

Had that been why they had paraded you in front of him, and then teased him with you? Had it all been a show of power, or had they encouraged his desire for you, and then killed him for asking.  You felt sick, dizzy with it all, and the honeyed cake Hux had just placed on your tongue felt suddenly sicky, and all too heavy to swallow down.  You did so anyway, forcing yourself, to appear unaffected. Afraid to show any weakness, all too much you knew how they fed off that. 

Realistically you knew that, Veers had only been doing what was normally permissible. Asking to use a royal slave, you were after all just a possession and could be bartered for as such.  The collar fastened around your neck; no matter how ornately made, was just another slave collar, and the jewellery and dresses just another mark of Hux’s ownership of you.

“She thinks I killed him.”

Ren’s voice was torn between amusement, and disinterest, and you almost mistook it for more irrelevant discussion on Veers, your mind doubling back to process what he had said.  Of course he had killed the man, maybe not himself, but he would have given the order.  Whomever had delivered the killing shot, would have been ordered to by Ren.  You had not chosen to involve yourself, but you still felt guilty as hell.  Guilty by association. 

Hux looked at you, as he held out another piece of cake to you.  You didn’t want it, the mouthful you had had already been proving difficult to swallow.  Your chewing had rendered it tasteless and already your stomach threatened to revolt at its contents.  Hux seemed genuinely interested, and not for the first time you feared his interest at you. 

“Do you Pet? Why?”

The question had required an answer, and you took a delicate sip of tea to chase down your mouthful and to stall your reply.  You couldn’t quite trust yourself to speak yet, or choose what to say.  So desperate were you to avoid his disapproval, you eyeballed the offered cake. Seriously weighing up the pros and cons of accepting it, and just being ill. 

Would they punish you for it here, or just send you away?  Hux guessing the state of your guts placed it back on the platter, frowning as he wiped his gloves on a napkin.  You nodded, but pale faced and sickly at being backed into a corner like this, again you didn’t need to speak to betray your emotions.  One man could read them all too well, the other pull the very thoughts from your head if needed.  Hux sighed and pinched your face, to bring it to him. Studying you carefully as he spoke.

“Veers is a filthy Resistance sympathiser.”

Your first reaction was shock, followed by a tiny hope that Veers’ offer had centred around a possible rescue.  Was that why he had asked for you in his bed?

Sat the other side of Hux, Ren smirked at you, and you knew then they had fetched you here, to see how complacent you were in Veers’ escape plan.

“No little one, he wanted to bed you, there was no rescue.”

You refused to acknowledge Ren but you were furious at his exposure of your hope.  You fought back the twitch at your eyebrow, forcing yourself to keep your face devoid of a reaction.  A blank canvas that you hoped lied well for you.  Was it not enough that he constantly invaded the sanctity of your mind? No, it would seem not, at least one of them had to belittle you for daring to have hope. 

There was nothing left for you, and struggling to control yourself, you choked back a sob.  Holding the unsteady breath until the emotion had passed.  Hope was as useless as your tears; both made of fragile dust and air and easily crumpled with a tiny breath.  All too much as you had become.  You longed for one tiny act of kindness, and the loss of having it so near cut hard, even if it had never been tangible.

Hux seemed to have hold of your face still, as though waiting, for your reaction.  Was he enjoying the show you wondered and in a moment of shock even to you; your fingers pressed at the corners of the table. Letting the metal bite into your skin, before swiftly tossing it at the pair of them.  You gasped, eyes wide as your brain resolved what your body had done.       

The table never hit, it’s targets.  Ren had instantly raised his hand, throwing the table back and its contents at you.  Bracing yourself ready for the impact, you had stiffened and turned your head to the side, raising your arms to take the worst, and protect your face.  At the last moment, the items flying towards you separated.  Leaving a twisted pile of broken ceramics, and glass either side of you and the table at your feet. 

The message was clear; those items were headed back at you and Ren could have hurt you. He would have found himself justified in doing so, but had chosen not to.  You already knew when you threw them, that you had gone too far, and now you physically shook with terror.  You forced yourself to stand, making yourself meet Hux’s gaze. It was better to feign surety in your defiance, you had gone too far to back down now, no matter how scared you were. 

Hux was almost catatonic with rage. You had never seen him so agitated, and this was the first time you had ever bit back.  You screamed at yourself for your foolish behaviour, not daring to take your eyes off him. 

His chest rose and fell, to the same heavy tempo that pulsed the vein at his temple.  He too was shocked at your behaviour, you quickly realised.  Stupidly rather than take this moment to beg forgiveness a swell of pride took hold of you.  You had finally done something Hux had not expected, it made you stand taller, it was a small victory against him.

When he had eventually gotten hold of himself, the first thing he did was to slap you.  He back handed you hard, making you see stars.  Neither men had ever raised their hand to you, not like this.  Hus preferring to keep their hands clean, and their punishments more of a sexual nature.  It stung, and already you could feel the blood pulsing to your cheek.  It would bruise, if it hadn’t already, and badly.  The next thing was equally as uncontrolled for Hux. He grabbed your arm, and dragged you behind him lead you out of the courtyard garden. 

You struggled to keep up with him, and nearly stumbled and fell more than once.  He dragged you into what you guessed this time really was his chambers.  Not that bedchamber you had first been taken to and were to later find out was meant for you, but new unseen rooms.  Pulling you past his bedroom, he opened another room and threw you inside.  You hit the floor hard, sliding forwards, you skinned your knees on the polished wooden floor, looking desperately around you. 

The room was clearly built for Hux’s pleasure, and you supressed a shiver. How anyone could find pleasure in what went on in here you didn’t quite know.  The walls were painted rich colours, and the decorations lewd enough to make a whore blush.  Plush rugs draped the floor and thick velvet curtains lined the windows.  Though they were not what upset you, an ornate framed bed centred the room. It’s metal headboard cut with a variety of interesting patterns, that your gut told you was to fasten someone down to.  There were couches and other furniture strewn across the room, and in your innocence, their purpose was as yet unknown to you, but still as unsettling. 

Ren entered lazily behind Hux.  He kept his gaze on you, as he stood, lounging back against one side of the doorframe.  He was shirtless, and for the first time ever he stood so you could really look at him.  He was huge, his broad chest intersected with various welts and cuts, darkened in places by bruising.  He was proud of those marks, and somehow that unsettled you more.  Had Hux marked Ren so? And if so, if this was what he could do to his lover, what more would he do to you, his enemy?  Swallowing down your fear, you watched Hux stroll gracefully over to a cupboard, and open the carved doors.  You couldn’t bring yourself to look in there, and as Ren knelt into abeyance, you adopted the same position, head lowered in contrition. 

You had attacked the Emperor, and the penalty for that was death.  It would be slow, and painful, but you consoled yourself bitterly it would thankfully end in a release from this eternal state of purgatory.  Eyes lowered you watched as Hux walked over to Ren petting him, before a low instruction to rise.  He did so, waiting on attendance to his Master, and at last Hux turned to you. 

“The penalty for what you did is death.  Something which sadly you would welcome with open arms. It will not be granted to you, this once you will earn your forgiveness.”

Hux at last approached you holding restraining cuffs in one hand, and a burgundy silk scarf in the other.  He took his time coming closer, and despite the deep-seated need to watch a predator approach, you kept your eyes cast low.  Desperate not to anger him, scared that what he would now do, would be worse than death.

“Get up.”

The hissed command, struck fear in your very core; and you dared not disobey him.  Rising unsteadily to your feet, desperate to find regard again.  He stood so close to you, that his breath tickled your back, blowing the loose tendrils of hairs.

“You will do as I say, and if you do not; I will order every last man in this palace to take you.  You will be whored out to the entire garrison, and then when I eventually find Veers I will allow him to take you before I kill him.  Do you understand?”

You did, your teeth clacked together in horror, and forgetting your place and what he threatened you looked up at him.  Knowing as soon as you looked at him that he would.  His voice had been so calm, so sure, his face that of a man who dealt in promises, not threats.  You blinked an acceptance of his words, unable to draw breath to speak.

“I SAID DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!”   

You jumped in shock, his face so close as he roared out his question that spittle flew to your face.  You dared not wipe it off, instead you quickly gave him a quiet, yes.  Your voice was no louder than a mouse squeak, and just as terrified.  The back hand he dealt you came from nowhere, knocking you to your knees, adding another level of colour to your cheek.  You didn’t have to be told what you had done wrong, pant wetting terror gripped you and you curled up on yourself almost yelling out your answer.

“Yes, you Majesty I understand.”

For a moment, the only sound was his breathing, almost deafened by the steady strum of your pulse in your ears.  When a moment had passed, you slid onto your knees, your forehead against the floor.  You wished to signal to him, that you were no threat at all small and helpless before him, but that was a mistake, it was partly that which excited him. When indicated to, you rose to your feet, and allowed him to place the blindfold to your eyes, terrified of what came next.

With your vision cut off you were so much more than helpless than before him, and you stood shaking.  Slow, steady footfalls surrounded off the wood around you, and it was impossible to work out where the next would land.  He was walking in small circles you soon gathered, and on what you hoped was his second pass of you, his fingers touched your spine.  You jumped, unable to get a handle on your fear long enough to stop the shaking, and his hands stroked down the beading at the back of you dress.

A sudden yank pulled them from you, the force of it making you stumble, though thankfully not enough lose your balance. You heard the broken strands of jewels scatter to the floor, as Hux gave the command for you to lower your arms to your side.  Without the roped back to support it the dress fell to the floor in a  whisper, leaving the silken fabric to pool around your heeled shoes. 

Someone’s hands took yours steadying you as Hux told you to lift your legs and careful that your heels did not catch one by one you lifted them.  There was a blow of air and the fabric moved, leaving you to realise that they wanted you afraid, but to let you fall would have been clumsy. 

A gloved finger ran the string of pearls down between your ass cheeks, dipping lower to your crotch. Hux’s voice was close to your ear when he spoke again, low and demanding, threatening in his dominance over you.

“I am the Emperor of the Known Galaxy, there is nothing that doesn’t by rights belong to me. Everything in this Galaxy bows to my order, even you my perfect little, **_slut_**.”

His words almost descended into pure hisses, such was his rage for you right now.  You gasped, a deep pain stabbing your chest, as your cunt clenched to the truth behind his words.  Already your body was forgetting the danger behind this man, spreading your lest to him.  His arm wrapped your waist, making you almost stumble as he brought you back to him, the other hand cupping your sex.

“And that pet, includes this.  This is mine too, and you should be grateful for the honour of receiving my cock.”

The last word dissolved into a low determined growl as his hand gripped your pussy tighter, the heel of it rubbing the string of pearls tight against you. The leather of his glove squishing obscenely, in the gathered dampness there.  Hux was neither rough, nor kind, his assault on you only to show mastery of you, to let you know he could both touch you were and when he wanted, and make you do as he wanted.  You didn’t expect to be allowed completion, though you still gave a small cry of protest when he removed his hand. 

It earnt you nothing but the shock of quick sharp slap to your cunt, your legs proving impossible to close. The wet making each subsequent slap he placed there, sting harder and harder.  Each blow against you, was a tiny sting of sharp needles, impossible to dodge as you realised your legs were held open by Ren’s Force powers.  His unblinking devotion to his emperor making him cognisant of his wishes without asking.  The sharpness eventually turned to a low burn, the sting of each slap to your sex, blending into the pain of the last.  You were shocked to quickly discover your cunt growing wetter, than it ever had before.  Your clit strained and swollen, despite each slap and your need for it to be touched; even if it meant giving into him, was growing stronger. 

Fingers entered you, stretching out your walls, the change of stimulation almost making you give in.  Like this blinded, could he not be anyone, could you not be anywhere but here?  The fingers moved slowly, making deep violent thrusts into your core.  Forcing you to accept him, and making you shudder, and a mouth pressed to your nipple.  This time, your moan of complaint was louder, almost pleasurable at the sensations the thrust on you.  You knew you were losing the fight against your own body.  The pleasure they delighted in forcing onto you, was becoming too much, then without warning it stopped.  Sticky, slick covered fingers pressed to your lips, and you parted them, allowing him to enter your mouth, obediently sucking your juices from them.

“Why do you resist me pet, can you not taste yourself. Can you not feel what I do to you?”

His voice was low, a heavy groan in your ear, and you hummed in a noncommittal answer to the leather clad fingers slowly fucking your mouth.  You fought back the desire to throw back your head and give into what they both wanted of you, you wouldn’t become that, not yet.  You didn’t need the use of your eyes, to imagine how you would look, his fingers smearing both your lipstick and saliva, over your lips.  Your legs spread open, your body trembling and panting in denied want.  The hand at your waist dipped lower the fingers pressed to your clit, stroking you closer and closer to the edge.  Your legs shook threatening to give way beneath you, thankfully locked into place as he continued.  You were close, unable to prevent what was happening to you, your orgasm approaching far swifter, far harder than ever before, threatening to engulf you.  Beneath the blindfold your eyes swelled with tears, ones you could safely shed without feeding his lustful ego.  A breath tickled your neck before he spoke again, and lips pressed to any bare skin there; punctuating his words with slow sucks against your skin. 

“Why deny it? Am I not gracious enough in return for something as little as your obedience, to feed you, to clothe you when by rights you should be rotting in a cell.  Just like the Resistance scum, you are.”

Your own breathing came in ragged spurts, and behind the blind fold your eyes rolled, unable to hold out.  The cry this time when he stopped was loud, it filled the room, and it took you but a moments pause to register. It had come from your throat. 

Red flooded your cheeks, and you felt your face warm at it, realising that you had just cried out not for them to stop, but because they had.  Hux stepped away, and you reasoned with yourself, that you never had any choice in the matter, trying to come to terms with the shame.  Without the warm, spun wool of his chest at your back, it was suddenly cold.  Sweat dripped from you hairline, making you realise the effort of your wasted orgasm.   

Someone’s hands took hold of your wrists and in your confusion, you felt them pulling together and the cold press of metal, before a click.  They had attached the restraints Hux had held, and now with a pull, they lead you forwards.  You followed blindly, teetering unsteadily in the heels.  They were not overly high for you, but you had to place all your trust in the hands that led you.  Hoping that if you stumbled, they would keep you upright now. 

They stopped leading you, your wrists were raised above you, not to high but not comfortably either.  A clink sounded and your arms were pulled taught, arms straighter, forcing you even in the heels; onto the tips of your toes. 

Two sets of hands ran your sides, both gloved it was impossible to tell who’s was who’s.  They left you suddenly, and alone you dangled for what seemed to be an eternity.  Your arms already ached, from being held aloft, and the muscles of your legs trembled, unused to such poises.  Neither talked, but then Hux didn’t need to voice his commands to Ren.  He was both intuitive and obedient enough in this setting, to follow orders without them.   

You jerked against your restraints as something hit you, making you yell out as much from shock as the sharp slap against your skin.  It left a stinging burn in its wake, and another as it found an unmarred piece of skin.  Your brain ran the items in the cupboard, trying to work out what it was.  A loose leather smelling, loop stroked your cheek, sliding lower between the valley of your breasts and over your stomach.  It dipped between your legs, stroking until it parted the lips of your sex.  You were already indecently wet; and a few gentle taps to your open sex, had your head bowed in shame, unable to ignore the lewd wet smacks.  It was the crop you had seen glimpses of you realised. 

The crop left you, and with a whistle it slapped against your thigh, making you grit your teeth against the pain.  Either man could be wielding it.  Although Ren normally administered your punishments, Hux was furious, and you wouldn’t put it past him to deliver your punishment himself this time.  You gave up, begging him to stop as each blow grew swifter, each target more painful.  You knew it was better to give in, than to foolishly show bravery and hold out to the pain.

“You should be thanking me for this, it really is more than you deserve.”

More slaps of the crop, circling you to ensure you wouldn’t know the next intended target.  Soon you just listened out for the preceding whistling of leather through the air, your entire body tensing to the warning, before the crack sounded as it hit your skin.  Repeatedly it fell, and you gave into it, screaming as you sagged against your bonds, your legs exhausted by your struggles.  He didn’t stop, not even when your voice was left hoarse with shouting.  Eventually you worked it out and on the next blow, instead of pleading with him to stop, you yelled out your thanks. 

 

      

       

 


	5. Chapter 5

“I beg your pardon, Pet.”

He was begging for nothing, however politely the request was made, and you knew better than to mistake it for what is wasn’t.  Plain and simple; it was a demand for you to repeat yourself, not because he hadn’t heard it, but to force further humility from you.

You repeated your thanks for the lesson he had so brutally thrust upon you, as eloquently as possible.  Humbly thanking him, wanting so much to please him, to make the sting of the crop stop; and for one blessed moment, it seemed to have worked. Hux had stopped, and skin crawling you could feel his eyes appraising your naked flesh.  The marks from the crop stung, and you had seen various similar injuries to know how each welt would look; raised red and angry against your skin.  The unnatural position had forced you to stay standing throughout, tottering on high heels and balanced on your tip toes; your muscles screamed in protest at being so ill used.

The leather strap stroked up the front of your neck; forcing your head high again.  You had lowered it towards your feet, earlier on in your punishment, to hide your shame filled face from him.  Stupidly assuming in your desperation; he wouldn’t see the effect he had on you, the pearls making each flinch torturous on your abused clit. 

The silk around your eyes was soaked through with your tears, your body warmed to both by the beating and your arousal.   and you shivered your body coated in a sheen of sweat.  You could feel cooling on you when his breath tickled the back of your neck.  You knew, without looking that, you looked a sweaty, snivelling mess. The carefully applied make up would be smudged beyond recognition, and you could feel the weight of your hair loosening, tendrils brushing against your shoulders. 

It amazed you that anyone could take pleasure in you like this, but as his crotch pressed against the welts on your ass, you could feel him there ready for you.  There was no crude rutting into you to follow, just the press of his cock, long and hard against you.  No doubt he would still look pristine, not a hair out of place. Whilst you clothed in nothing more than his sorry excuse for pants; you would look just as he had named you; like his slut.

The leather clad digits sipped over your hips, and there was the cold rush of air as he inhaled the scent of your hair at the nape of your neck.  Another pair of hands joined the first, this time the rougher feel of Ren’s clothing against the sensitised skin of your chest.  He pressed against you, and just had you had been the other night, the men firmly sandwiched you between them.  The harder press, made the fabric of Ren’s tunic set off the burn of the welts, making them bite painfully into you.  It was Ren who spoke first, his breath hot against your neck, his voice husky, rough with desire, and dangerously deep. 

“She likes the blindfold; it lets her forget she’s here. Though she lies to herself every time that she doesn’t enjoy what we do to her, even this.”

The fingers of one hand lowered to a welt across the top of your buttock, reiterating what Ren meant by ‘this’.  Your core clenched, and you did your best to pass off the small whine that slipped past your lips as pain.  Instead of fighting allowing Ren’s words to sink in, deeper, allowing them to numb you, to shamed emptiness. 

Ren however choose to display all of Hux’s closeted vulgarities; rutting shamelessly against your hip.  There was the wet sound of kissing in your ear, both men groaning as they gave into each other; their hair tickling you as they moved their heads.  Ren had clearly spoken aloud what you already knew; making you ashamed of your body, of how little control you had over it.  But thankfully neither men addressed that, leaving you to stew in your self-loathing; hating they could do this to you.   

Whist you come to them as a virgin; it had never been a state you would cling to.  You had always been taught sex was to be enjoyable, nothing to be ashamed of; yet here they were, able to invoke that sense of shame.  You hated that they could play your body so expertly; that inside you would be fighting the desire to beg for more, whilst outwardly pleading for them to stop.  But it was the only touch you knew, there had been no one before them, and now it seemed hardly likely, that there would be no one after them.  Fresh tears trickled down your cheeks, that ignored by yourself and your masters, fell in drops onto your chest. You hated how useless you had been, how defenceless they left you.  There was an annoyed shifting of weight behind you, almost indiscernible and Hux sounded an irritable huff; his clipped reply even had Ren flinching, hurrying to wipe away the moisture, trying to please his master.

“The why does she insist on crying practically every time, hasn’t she learnt by now?”

Inside you the anger threatened to bubble up and consume you, and it took a moment to gain control, to prevent yourself lashing out again.  You wanted just to let it go, to demand an explanation, but you knew better.  Hux stepped back, and as though in warning, the stings of the crop awoke, with a fresh swipe at your lower bottom. 

“You’re not thankful for my leniencies though, are you Pet?”

You didn’t know how to reply; Hux’s question hardly needed an answer, he knew how his treatment of you made you feel. You held onto your silence, worried that you had overstepped the mark, by staying quiet; or had you just got it all plain wrong?  How and in what way was he lenient? Day in day out you were tortures, this physical torture was nothing; you would take pain over humiliation any day.  

“But I can make you sorry.”

You again gave into your anger, unable to hold it back, nothing either of them could do to you, could make it any worse.  Nothing was worse than their reminders that they had so brutally stolen your innocence from you, and Hux had even told you he wouldn’t allow you to be killed.  Obviously; you could never disappoint him enough, though what you had ever done to please him so much, you didn’t know either.  Even the physical attack on him, hadn’t moved him to end you.  You waited, teeth gritted, once again determined to hold out from screaming, this time.

“Then do it.”

Your voice was neutral iron, neither a taunt, nor a plea; simply put an acceptance of what he could do to you.  There was another snap of leather; and then you felt it.  It was like a thousand more kisses of fire branded into your skin, each a fresh warning you to let go of your anger.  You hadn’t learnt, not the lesson Hux clearly wanted to teach you, but you had learnt to guard your tongue.  It only took another three, each swatted against alternative ass cheeks, to relax, all the while reminding yourself that there would be no real damage done by the crop. That had already been done, and far deeper than any physical cut.   

Your gamble earlier on Hux, wanting you to thank him, clearly wasn’t enough, and you had learnt that the hard way. No; he wanted you to no longer visibly fight him, and when he finally stopped you held your head lower, not in shame but in contrition.  Kissing the leather loop that he brushed against your lips; before murmuring both your apologies and your thanks for his leniencies.

That seemed to have paid off with him, and you consoled yourself that in this case it was better to lie, to feed him the shit he so obviously craved. Though foolishly you hadn’t counted on Ren, on his need to please his master, and to keep you balanced on a knives edge.  Where you were never allowed anything, no matter how small and insignificant, just for yourself? Even your thoughts were as subject to their scrutiny, as your body was. 

“She hasn’t submitted to you; she’s playing for time.”

His voice had dipped impossibly lower, displaying more from his nonchalant comment, than perhaps he intended.  It was somewhere between a snarl of protection for Hux, and that of dominance over you.  It was an instant reminder, that he too got off on your discomfort.  His mouth so close to your ear, that you couldn’t mistake the breathlessness in his voice. 

It made you wonder if he took the same pleasure from his own marks on his body, as those on you, he certainly made no pretences, to hide the effect yours had on him.

Slow measure clipped strides rang out, as Hux moved away across the hardwood floor, making you anxious for what would come next. There was a louder click; your high-strung nerves making you jump, before you realised it was suggestive of the crop being replaced. 

Hux returned, and a hand was placed deftly between you and Ren, you could feel it stroking against his naked chest.  He took the time to ensure you knew he was tender with him, another taunt, a poignant reminder that this was something you could never have.  The knuckles of it caught on your sore skin, as they brushed lower, almost coming in contact with the fabric of your pants.  Then came the sound of fasteners slowly opening, the thick hot smearing of precum against you hip as Hux freed his cock letting it swing heavily against you, throbbing and hard as iron.  There was a brush of leather clad digits, encircling his cock in reward for the information he fetched him. Holding him, both ready and waiting, literally in the palm of his hand. 

“Good boy, and what else is she thinking?”

Ren’s fingers pressed obediently to your silk bound temple; his hips rocking minutely, trying to coax Hux into offering him some relief.  You gritted your teeth, both against his crudeness, and what was to come for yourself.  Each vertebra of your spine; tensing ready waiting, understanding as much as he did; that Hux would move when Ren delivered. 

You told yourself you were ready, for the blinding pain that would come when Ren invaded the sanctity of your mind again, and when it didn’t come quickly; you still dared not relax.  Steeling yourself, ready to grant him admission, telling yourself that he was just toying with you, as much as Hux was him. 

Hux pressed noisy kisses, of encouragement against Ren’s flesh. Both men knew you were tensed tight with fear, and no doubt sought to prolong the agonizing wait, furthering their perverted lust. The muscles of your shoulders, were near rigid with stress, and already your head was beginning to throb in protest.  All this just at the fear of the pain, how much worse then would the pain be this time? 

There was a brush against your forehead. Ren’s fingers combed the loose tendrils of hair back. Slowly easing them, from the perspiration damp against your brow, before they settled against your other temple.  Gently Ren’s ox head was lowered to your own, his breath steady and deep tickling against your lips.  Hesitantly you wet them; furious with his mock kindness, whilst steeling yourself. It wouldn’t be long now, and he had your entire body shivering, in anticipation of what he was about to do for his Emperor.  You didn’t want to endure that again, the pain or the defenceless invasion; but you knew you were powerless to stop it.

The brush against your mind, was not forceful like it had been the night before, but slowly settling like a snowflake on water, softly melding into you.  Mist like as it settled gently against the layers in your mind, not at all the talons that had forcefully ripped into you, the night before. 

It shocked you, that he could be capable of this gentleness, when everything else he had ever done was so brutal, so forceful.  You knew he was there, inside your head, but not from any pain.  Rather there was a steady pressure there, created mainly from the rush of thoughts plucked forwards.  All seemed to involve a moment between the three of you, either partnered with one, your thoughts of them when alone or all together. But there was more; it was like he was under your skin, you felt him there, beneath the surface, boiling in wait for something, as more images were considered, each one weighted against his own merits for truth.

“She’s frightened you will hurt her, but more so of her reaction to it.  Although she’s learnt to ignore it, her body is almost humming with desire.”  

“I know that Ren, I can see all of that!  It’s what I don’t know, what I can’t see that concerns me.”

Hux’s voice was snappy, and strained; making you wonder what he could possibly think you hid from him.  You felt, more so than heard; the unsteadiness to Ren’s breathing.  Clearly he hated being reprimanded, by Hux too; but obviously was happy to willingly endure it.  He gave a hum of thought, before more thoughts were pulled to the forefront of your mind. Some were too quickly picked over to register what was happening, many you even took to be suggestions to you.  Each image was lewder than the last, as he not only listened but felt for your body’s reaction. 

There was a push of what you guessed was a memory from Ren into your mind; this one warm and fuzzy around the edges.  Beneath the silken mask, you frowned to yourself, as much confused by yourself as by his need to show you something you felt to be so intimate between him and Hux. 

So close was his mouth, that the low groan from Ren vibrated against you, tickling your lips.  It made you realise he had not only seen, but felt your poor attempts to conceal your bodies reaction to them. 

The image he shared of Ren, balls deep in Hux’s ass, was hardly the most extreme or headiest of sex scenes, you could have been shown by him.  But something about the sight of the normally composed Hux unravelling under Ren, whilst he also fed your body the sensations he had felt, at the time into your psyche, aroused you. 

You bit your lower lip, furiously remonstrating with yourself for wanting to see, to feel more of it from Ren.  You had been immersed in a layer of emotiveness, shown to you that you knew you had always craved, one that both men were clearly capable of, just not to you.  You knew it was something this war had stolen from you, and you wanted that.  More so than even your freedom.

There had never been any time to forge any closeness with another, during the war, and whilst others had taken quick tumbles with one another; you had declined.  Desperately holding out for that someone special, telling yourself that once the war was over, you would make time. 

You shook your head sadly as though to dispel the sadness.  Instead of victory and a slow recovery from the horrors of war, that choice had been taken from you, and now Hux used Ren to mock you for it. 

Inside, you were a boiling river of rage, one that you held back, crushing down into hopelessness, bargaining with yourself to stay calm.  When you had cautioned yourself to numbness again, you opened your sightless eyes.  Allowing them to drink in the soothing darkness and anonymousness of the blindfold.  Later when you were alone you would give into your anger, and despair, here you would tempt no more wrath from them.                   

“Nothing, she knows nothing, her attack was personal, nothing more.”

Somehow you had passed whatever test, they had thrown at you.  It startled you, to think you may have somehow won a round in this latest battle.  There was a grunt of recognition from Hux, though you didn’t really hear it.  Too lost in your confusion, as Ren slowly pulled from your mind, stupidly allowing yourself a moment to gloat.   

“Such a good boy for your master, now proceed as planned.”

So, you hadn’t won. They had; in their endeavours to keep you once again, oblivious to them.  It left you gobsmacked when Ren whined again in pleasure, at Hux’s praise of him, amazed that a man so powerful as Kylo Ren would need to seek validation in another.  It gave you a further insight into them, as a couple, as much as Ren’s sharing of their intimacy had.

The hand cupping Ren’s cock jerked, swirling as it ran the rigid flesh, and the noise he gave now was louder.  He pressed his lips to yours, and woodenly you kissed him back, dutifully allowing his tongue entry into your mouth though you did not return the attention on his.  It ran over yours, trailing the roof of your mouth, before he would give in to the understanding that you were declining his inattentive kiss.  His hand gripped the back of your neck, pulling you rougher to his mouth, bruising your lips as he crushed his own against you. Still you waited, sulkily refusing to give in, waiting for him to command you, knowing that it was the only small protest you could make. 

“It’s the same whether I demand you to or not, you will kiss him.  One way will just be less unpleasant to you.”

It had been Hux who demanded attention for his consort, and fingers stroked over you, probing each red stripe, searching for one that would make you hiss loudly in pain. They found it, pressed into a welt mark over your shoulder blade, and you shuddered, both from pain and fear.  It was not what he was capable of, doing to you, that scared you, but what your body was, what it could take from that pain.  It was more of a warning to you, than any verbal threat, or admittance of what he was capable of if you refused.  But you had gotten your command, and breath juddering with acceptance; you gave in at that, allowing yourself to kiss Ren back, berating your body for its song of need.

The fingers that brushed the sloppiness of your sex, slipped inside without preamble.  You opened your legs wider, Hux’s fingers you realised pushing and pulling inside you, scissoring you open.  If you could have, you would have grasped the arm that held your waist for support.  Instead you dug your nails into the palms of your hands; needing to clench tight against the rippling spasms Hux created with his fingers.  You were so wet; that to your shame, a third, and then a fourth finger slid in with ease. They pumped slimy, wet noises into the room, making your face heat to a colour that matched the scarf above it.  Just how was it they knew how to have you like this, your body desperate for more as Hux pulled the slickened fingers from you. 

One was placed at your lips, you parted them, letting Hux place the evidence of your arousal against your tongue, letting you taste the evidence of what he could be force achieve.  A tongue ran the seams of your puckered mouth; flickering over Hux’s knuckles, to gather what taste he could, sucking each other slickened digit into their mouth; groaning as he tasted them.  

It sent a stab of longing to your cunt, and then less than a click later, one of shame to your stomach.  At once the fingers left you mouth, pinching your chin, to raise it once more, forcing you to stand proud as he kissed the side of your collared neck. 

“Pet, give in to it.  This is no war to be won, and if it were; you’ve lost so many battles you may as well enjoy losing this one.”        

You sniffed; he was neither kind, nor cruel in his suggestion to you; simply practical.  He ordered Ren to take you, and he did, lifting one leg to burry himself into you in one fluid thrust.  It burnt a little, even with Hux working you open for you.

You expected his relentless pounding to begin, but it didn’t.  Instead he ground into you, pushing for that final millimetre, that made you clench as the smooth skin, of his cock head rubbed over your cervix; keeping himself balls deep, rubbing himself in tiny little circles inside you.  It rubbed on the stiff skin of your clit with each pass, and inside you the clenching grew firmer, more frequent as you waited almost impatiently for him to fuck you.

If the fullness of Ren’s cock had made you feel stretched, the finger slid in beside it, made you feel stuffed.  You gasped, amazed that he could fit a second in there, overwhelmed at how full you felt.  They moved inside you, whilst Ren kept his cock still, buried inside of your velvet channel, pumping slowly, swirling and hooking back, forcing your ass higher. He took them from you, muttering aloud his obscenities about your tightness; of how your cunt walls gripped him.

The second time he replaced them inside you, you had worked out he was using your juices to cover his cock.  The sticky shaft brushing your ass cheek as he gathered his final offering of your precum, to anoint his cock with.  You expected then as his fingers gripped your hips, to have him split open your ass with his shaft, and you took in a breath, ready to scream against the pain.

You should have known better, Hux in a strange way kept care of his things; and you seemed to rank amongst his favourites.  His cock pressed to the hole already in use by Ren; and slowly, rocking his hips he began working his way in to join Ren there.  It was all too much, he was too much it would never fit, and frantically your tried to shift away from him, as in defence your pussy tried clamping closed. 

“Fuck.” Was the first auditable noise Ren gave.  Before gripping tighter on your leg, nuzzling his head into your neck.  His breath hot and heavy, brushing goose pimples into your skin, sucking wet pops against your flesh before speaking, his voice serious in its assumed concern.

“Don’t fight it, relax little one, it will hurt if he has to force you.”

It had the opposite effect to the one Hux wanted, and you closed tighter around Ren. Your body determined not to let the intruder in.  The growl of reprimand from Hux, was probably more to calm you than, warn Ren.   

“Ren, stop playing games!”

A chuckle from Ren, made you realise he was teasing you, wringing some extra amusement for himself, out of all of this.  Behind you, Hux stilled the rocking of his hips, pressing kisses against your spine.  His fingers rubbing soothing circles into your hips, working up and over your sides and tummy; as he coaxed you back from your panic.  He knew your fears, he was going to ruin you, the crop, had been just a taste, the real punishment was for him to open you so far up that you’d never be of use to anyone again.  

“You can take it; this is built for far larger passengers, than our cocks.”

Your neck swivelled back to him, a pointless act since you couldn’t see him, but he understood and Ren could hear your worries.  The kiss that followed was slow, a hand cupping your breast, another to your sex, the two fingers slipping between you and Ren, to rub over your swollen clit.  It relaxed you, enough for Hux to slowly feed the rest of his cock inside you. 

You had expected more pain, not this breathless fullness, and unable to even think you rolled your head back, letting it land on Hux’s shoulder.  The wordless cry as he sheathed fully inside you was their signal to move; and they rutted slowly, careful not to hurt you groaning amongst a spluttering of expletive punctured praise for you.

Their mouths were everywhere they could reach, on you and each other wet noisy smacks, tongues slivering to taste skin and sweat.  Their hands gripped you bruisingly tight, and more than one nail punctured your skin, in their efforts to keep themselves grounded enough not to hurt you. 

Over and over they thrust; the stretch inside you forcing the ridges of Ren’s cock to saw over your clit, and the mounting pleasure from the burn of being so split open, was exquisite in it intensity.  It hit you hard, blinding stars exploding like fireworks in your head, as you bathed their cocks in your cum. There was no respite, two more thrusts and impossibly you felt your pleasure mounting again, your arms screaming in protest, against the arching of your back when it took you. 

Strong deft hands took hold of your raised biceps, rubbing along the muscles, pressing life back to the aching muscles.  There was a clink, and your arms flopped forwards; making you panic as you realised, your entire body was no longer supported by the chain from the ceiling.  You wrapped them around Ren’s neck, your body an emotional wreak, as the men supported you.  Your own arms, weakly clinging onto whatever and whomever you could, and lost entirely to pleasure you gave into yourself.  Was it the darkness of the blindfold, the anonymity it gave you that let you press your mouth to the first set of lips offered to you.  Boldly exploring it with your tongue, biting on the plump lower lip as it gave a growl against your mouth.  A chuckle of genuine warmth, and you were pulled back to Hux, his own mouth, mewling into his mouth as a swirling sensation at your clit tipped you into your third orgasm.

“Can you manage one more for us pet?”

Hux’s voice had taken on a tone it never had before in your presence for you; pride you realised.  There was no tenderness or emotive response, just finally an acceptance that you may have lived up to his strict expectations.   

Humming your permission, as much as your willingness, you nodded against his mouth, his teeth firm and demanding as they nipped towards your ear.  You were already so close that one more you could manage, you told yourself, as he nibbled at your earlobe, pushing aside the threatening soreness from overstimulation.  Hot and cold shivers ran your spine, like electricity, telling yourself you were close anyway, you may as well give in as have it forced from you.  Concentrating, not on the men, but instead on the increasing pressure building, against the cocks inside you.  You had expected to come quickly, each of your other orgasms had been swift to claim you, but instead you teetered on the edge each thrust feeling like it should be the last.  It was pure agony, torturous to be edged like this, Ren, had done it before, and then you had held out, pride and disgust at yourself ensuring you silently endured it.  This time your resolve not to beg was shattered on the fifth stroking of their conjoined cocks inside you, begging first to Ren and then remembering who pulled the strings Hux, to let you cum.        

He must have given permission,: and with a wordless screech you were given over to your final orgasm, your cunt walls grinding their cocks against one another in its intensity.  A command from Hux, had you realising that Ren too had held himself back, the permission granted from Hux sending him throbbing, to join Hux in their own synchronised wordless oblivion.

They panted against you, both cocks plastering your walls with cum.  Holding you whilst they slivered their cocks from your empty cunt, gently.  Tentatively you reached a hand to feel yourself, shocked at the mess they had created of you.  You were covered in cum, theirs and yours and it dripped almost as low as your knees.  Your tired legs could hardly hold you anymore, and they shook ready to give way.  With the help of them, you slowly you sank to your knees, lowered by two sets of hands to the floor. 

You dared not remove your blindfold, and so you wordlessly waited on bended knees, hands outstretched to the floor before you to support yourself.  Unsure now if you had learnt the lesson Hux had given, silently they went about their business, stopping only to remove your blindfold when they were once more pristine. 

Genuflected like this to them, they looked more imposing than they had ever before.  There was something of triumph in Ren’s expressive eyes, whilst Hux’s remained their stoic cold blue.  Had you pleased them?  The heaved chests that had held you longer than strictly necessary had seemed to find at least satisfaction there.  Briefly you wondered if it was all really that bad; until reminded by a throb of protest of soreness in your used cunt.  You touched two finger to it, worried that they really had stretched you too far; you were too inexperienced in their choices of copulation.

Ren crouched to you, his immense frame, still managing to dwarf you, even like this.  He tilted his head to one side, and already the flames kindled, incensed by another invasion of you.           

“Nothing will leave you ruined little one, what use would you be to us if you were?”

Behind him Hux laughed, obviously amused by your worry and Ren’s exposure of it. You gritted your teeth, against it, refusing to look as he busied himself tidying up the room.  He carried something from the wardrobe, walking over to join Ren, squatting to join him.

“Such an innocent little pet, and what a silly thought.  You’ll be as tight as before next time we fuck you.”

You lost it at that, raising your eyes to him, cheeks warmed by the fire in your eyes.  You dared not scream your answer, though inside you were simmering, ready to explode.  He spoke so casually, of his treatment of you, mocking you for your fears, as though unfounded.  You were innocent, you had been fetched to him as an innocent just for him to exploit that. You should hardly be teased for your misunderstandings of their preferred more niched sexual acts.   

Again indifferent to you, he held out the bundled cloth, and you took it, muttering your thanks as you slipped it around your shoulders.  How you didn’t try and gouge his eyeballs out you didn’t know, but you managed it, swallowing it down, pocketing it somewhere for later.  His eyes still icy indifference as he watched you fasten the belt of the robe around you, his voice just as cold and hard.  

“Better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be a tiny bit of plot evolving, though I will not apologize for the shameless smut. I thank god, sometimes for the anonymity of the internet, lol


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is again a double posting, followed by a single chapter. So 3 at once, I'm sorry for the wait. I am on with other updates, but have been so busy, and in the back end of nowhere sorry xx

You had always known your handmaidens reported everything back to Hux; so why would your period be any different.  You had awoken in the middle of the night.  Your lower abdomen cramping in protest, to find your white sheets soaked through with a smearing blood and mucus.  In truth though, the pain had been overshadowed, by the relief that you bled. Like everything else a choice of which birth control, was something you had no say in.  You didn’t even know if they even allowed you any?

At your lowest points, you had allowed yourself to indulge in the almost pant wetting terror that you would be forced to carry one of your captor’s child.  Or worse yet, have that decision taken from you too, either was their ultimate violation of the sanctity of your body.  It was too late to wake someone, and you didn’t know how to. Never having needed to, you enjoyed this time, not so much the sleeping, that was hard enough to do most nights, it was more that this was only time you were likely to be left alone. 

Normally after your nightly rituals, the servants would leave you tucked up in bed.  Not even bidding you good night, they would with wordless looks command you to stay in bed.  Dimming the lights to a lovely velvety darkness, as they pointedly left you locked in your room.  You would lay there for hours, unable to sleep, planning both impossible revenge and escapes.  Counting your worries, to yourself as though they were sheep, crying yourself to sleep.  

Now it was impossible to stay in bed, the sheets were too wet, too soiled to sleep on; and your womb angrily throbbed, demanding its pain relief.  You considered shouting for the guards, to wake someone for you, dismissing that idea as silly; you were perfectly able to care for yourself, you could make do until morning. 

Quietly you slid from the bed, surprised when you murmured a commandment to, that the lights to flickered to life.  You kept the setting very low, lighting only your huge refresher but leaving the door ajar to illuminate the bedroom as you gathered clean night clothing and bedding.  It was not from shame of your condition, periods were a perfectly normal part of your life, but also something you had always kept discreetly to yourself.  It was for privilege of your privacy, that you didn’t want every aspect of your life reported back to Hux, tomorrow was soon enough.

Closing the door behind you, you dropped your soiled nightdress onto a nearby chair, activating the taps in the bath.  Your fingers brushed along the bottles of toiletries, choosing bath soaps, of for once your own choice, selecting them on possible soothing qualities not fragrance. 

True there were no drugs available to dowse your pain, but you hope that the heat of the water and the aroma of the oils, might somewhat help.  You resolved you would ask for pain relief only when they came for you in the morning.  For now, you would keep your body a secret, hoping that they would be generous and give you both drugs and privacy.  The only reason they were not stocked in your quarters was that Hux knew; you would have availed yourself of them all by now.  Anything you could seriously harm yourself on, was locked tight, safe from you.  They were taking no risks, for themselves and for others around you.  The soaps they left out were not those in the more expensive glass vials and even the mirrors were of a kind that would not shatter or brake, everything even slightly dangerous was kept safe from you. 

Quietly, you slid into the warm water, breathing in deep; the fragrant water, enjoying the quiet and the solitude, and the choices so rarely offered to you.  You wondered why you had never thought to do this before, to allow yourself time alone in your quarters, to enjoy the seclusion.  It would be such a simple thing to do; to allow yourself some pleasure in your otherwise torturous existence.  But you had always seemed too exhausted, either for the nerve wracking waiting, or from the agony of being used.  Pressing your hands against the plains of your stomach you rubbed, stretching your abdomen, trying to aid the water in dispelling your cramps. 

You should have known, or at the least guessed, that you were not to be left alone for long.  The doors to the bedchamber slid open, and a horrified gasp rang out, before being silenced, by a sharp foreign command.  There were two of them you realised, as one handmaiden burst into your refresher room, glaring at you; the other clearly sent to report back, or to fetch reinforcements. 

At first you looked apologetically at her, eyes wide in the shame of being caught out; before the sudden heat of anger made you reasonable again.  You were a grown woman, not some child to be chastised for being out of your bed on a night. So, you ignored both her attempts to move you, and her pointed looks of rebuke.  Even when she gestured back towards the bedroom; an obvious demand for you to return to bed, you chose to close your eyes, settling into the heat of the water once more. 

Sensing you were not going to listen, she pulled the plug from the water, leaving you high and dry surrounded by bubbles in the otherwise empty tub.  Still you refused to open your eyes, adamantly keeping them closed despite the chill in the room.  Not even opening them to the verbal command, in your own language that you return to your bed.  That had shocked you, but also granted you a valuable insight, to the capabilities of your maids, they could speak basic.  It had taken all your will power not to open them in shock alone, or to grin your triumph, but you managed it.  Unwittingly she had granted you with the knowledge, that they all could not only understand basic, but could obviously speak basic too. 

Desperate and annoyed at being ignored; she slapped you, the noise of it more shocking to you than the act itself.  But it achieved her desired effect, making you open your eyes in time to see the other handmaiden returning.  It was not the returning servant that disturbed you, or the shock on her face that you had been struck; rather it was who accompanied her. 

It appeared that either the protocol for you being out of bed; was to summon Kylo Ren, or that they had thought you missing and ran to get him.  He looked flushed, eyes bright with exertion, the rise and fall of his chest, slightly faster than normal. Making you wonder if he had ran here, or if you had disturbed something else, something between him and his beloved Emperor Hux.  Slowly you stood to face what was undoubtedly a new punishment. The reasoning behind your nocturnal bathing dripping slowly and humiliatingly between your thighs.  Your arms were wrapped around yourself, more for the warmth and comforting security than anything else.  He had seen you so cruelly displayed naked, than it was second nature to be undressed around him now.  

Though as his gaze settled lower you wished you were still covered by the water.  Mixed in with a snarl of annoyance, there was a horrible feral hunger there in his gold flecked eyes. Wordlessly he raised his hand, eyes locked on yours, whilst he used the Force to silently command the handmaiden who had slapped you, towards him. 

He was very clearly pissed off at you; his eyes now less desperate than they had been on his arrival, more the hardened steel of a killer again. It made you wonder if he had thought to find you in a different state, or just missing, was getting a bath alone that dire a mistake?  He clearly disliked being disturbed so late, and for such a meaningless reason probably made it worse.  It was a moment before he turned to look at her, head tilted, lips pursed in thought as he silently considered, whatever failure she had wordlessly delivered him. 

She was just as terrified of him as you were, and you felt a moment of horribly savage, petty satisfaction that she knew you took pleasure from that.  You touched your fingertips gingerly to the warm mark on your cheek, probing it gingerly for damage.  She had managed to hit the same side as Hux had, and the pain more throbbed than stung from setting off the complaints of the old injury. 

No, you groaned inwardly, it still wasn’t right to take satisfaction from her discomfort.  It was never right to sink to the levels of depravity that your captors did; it was a vile and disgusting thing to do, and you were better than that.  Reminding yourself that his anger could swiftly turn to you, you dared look back at Ren; meeting his gaze squarely, softening your features. 

He knew what you were asking for, he didn’t need to you ask to spare her life, but you did so anyway, guilty that this bloodshed was all your doing.  Over and over you apologised; you shouldn’t have been out of bed, what was a soiled sheet and stomach pains to her life? 

Her face was slipping from red to violet and her mouth desperately tried sucking in air, as her legs kicked feebly, dangling beneath her.  A snap sounded and all at once she stopped shaking, going limp and lifeless in his grip.  He let her body go, and watched impassively as it fell to the floor, as lifeless as a rag doll, tossed aside like yesterday’s garbage. 

Stepping over her prone corpse he came forwards, eyes fixed on your own terrified orbs.  You promised not to do it again, realising death was much more a scary prospect when it came for you, than in your head.  It would be your turn next you realised, as he stalker closer to you; pausing only to turn his head and summon the remaining quaking handmaiden forwards.  He gave what sounded like a clipped order to the handmaiden. Again, in the language you couldn’t speak or understand and she hastened to it.  No doubt grateful to be alive, turning to flee the room as Ren swivelled his attentions back to you. His eyes once more roaming your naked body settling on the gap between your thighs, wordlessly trying to make up his mind over something.

That’s when it hit you; none of the women who attended you would normally have to deal with him, and certainly not these two underlings. They would be the lowest in the pecking order, and not a suitable choice for fetching Ren.  They had obviously been placed on the night watch which meant somehow you were watched all the time; and you tried not to look for hidden cameras or sensors.   Any chance of a disruption to their nocturnal activities, must be deemed less obtrusive than their superiors.  Then why had one dared to run for Ren? It would make sense, that the more superior staff should have been woken well before he was disturbed. Making you highly suspicious of him being here now, did he too have an alarm system in place if you got out of bed? 

You felt more naked under his gaze than you had ever felt before, caught like prey in a search lamp you froze, trying to remember where the towel was.  One was thrust gently into your arms, by the returning handmaiden and you took it. Wrapping it around yourself; as the remaining handmaiden offered you her hand, to assist you from the wet slippery tub. 

“Ren you’ve been a while. Is everything alright, is she okay?” 

You were startled, both by Hux’s voice, and his sudden appearance, besides Ren.  There was normally more fanfare.  The conscious Handmaiden froze wide eyed, and discarded your hand dropping suddenly to her knees.  It confirmed your suspicions that no one had sent for Ren, and certainly not for Emperor Hux, more details would have been given and if either man had come, as usual to fuck you then, why the concern?

Deciding that they must have simply wished for your presence late on, and then Ren seeing the blood on the sheet; had stalled disappointed, taking too long to return to his master.  But why then the seemingly genuine concern. Both appeared experienced around women, surely had had either seen or knew enough of what happened to expect you would have to bleed at some point? Your captors were still dressed in ceremonial day garb, even at this late hour.  Ren in his dark functional robes, and Emperor Hux the decorative and less practical, white and gold imperial garments he wore for audiences.  They must have just come from an official event, or show of power and both thought to avail themselves of your body.  How much of a waste of time then was it for them you thought, trying to keep your face devoid of any flicker of that process of smug thought to them.  You would be of no use to them now, you thought with such content; you were finally unable to hide your smirk. 

“Pet?”

There was an edge to his greeting that was a warning, making you realise that you had been too taken over with your self-satisfaction.  You realised with a jolting sense of panic; that you too had forgotten to drop to your knees, but it was too late now to address that failure.  Hux flicked his cold eyes over you, the blue irises lingering on the blood trailing down one leg.  He allowed himself a small flicker of some unknown emotion, when he looked at first sadly towards Ren.  Then steeling himself once more, the blank stare he normally wore, when he looked back at you.  There was another pass of that discomfort across his features and appearing to consider something, before turning to look once more intently at Ren. 

You had begun to suspect that more than emotions and vague feelings, slipped through their soundless stares. Knowing from whispered tails of the Jedi of old; that they could talk to people like this.  There was talk of them even creating Force-bonds with them, tying themselves on some elevated emotional bond with another. Was that what Ren had done with Hux, were they now passing across thoughts, cursing their bad luck at finding you soiled?  Hux was giving in more to anger, it wasn’t there on his face, but displayed in tiny shifts of movement to his back and shoulders.  Standing straighter as thought to steel himself ready, the annoyance echoed in his lover’s stance of ready-meant. 

You again considered kneeling; this time you even tried to. Gathering up the bottom of the long white towel to let you lower yourself. You were fixated on his face, watching for any alteration in his mood, any small change that would pre-emptive any sudden risk for him.  There was another shifting in his muscles, making you change your mind to flee back a step, as he came towards you, his arm stretched reaching out to you. 

The smooth soapy floor of the bath offered no grip, and you slid in the remainders of the bathwater, tumbling backwards. You would have fallen on your bottom and probably hurt yourself, if Hux had not of pounced on you.  His fingers digging, almost painfully into the crook of your elbow, catching you at the last moment, stopping you from falling.

The man had more strength than he looked to have, although you still expected him to drop you out of spite. You knew that from how he tossed you around, your bed, when it suited and you knew enough of your own strengths that you couldn’t fight him off if he did.  So, you had no option but to trust him to right you, letting him set you down on the bath side.  He waited for you to stand, keeping possession of your arm, only for as long as you stepped from the tub. Your hand now holding your towel closed.  He made your skin crawl to have him behave so falsely caring around you.  

Of all the games he played, this was always the worst bit, the hardest to loose.  It was the measured promise of hope that he might be lenient and caring that hurt the deepest when you lost.  It ripped your dignity to shreds every time, but to not play was always worst; and so you struggled against your instinct to try to escape him. 

If your desire to struggle even registered with him; he choose not to show it.  Holding you close enough that the blood on your thighs, threatened to stain the pale fabric of his clothing.  His arm clasped tightly around your waist; fingers splayed over your lower back, another sickening parody of affection.  You told yourself, you wouldn’t look at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of your confused distaste, of watching you fail. Oh, you knew he was watching you, you could feel the burn of his icy stare without looking, burning in to you; as he gave a command to the handmaiden to fetch medical help. 

Foolishly you, gave in and looked up at him, his hold on you never lessening.  You seemed as much in puzzlement of his behaviour, as he seemed to be by you.  How on earth had you managed to draw his frank, undivided attention; for once without it being to fuck you.  If there was any arousal at your nakedness, he hid it from you well. Perhaps, instead it was frustration, he was after all most probably annoyed at finding you unusable?

 Almost you thought to ask him, why he stared. What had you done to interest him, but you lacked such bravery, both for the question and the answer.  His eyes flicked over your cheek, his face still a stoic mask of professional patience, as he frowned at the reddening hand shaped mark placed over his fading bruise.  He didn’t even look back at Ren, just you; as he gave the command to him, to remove the lifeless body of your handmaiden from the floor.

Alone with you Hux’s finger brushed aside the steam dampened locks of hair that slipped from your night braid.  Cooing to you, he rubbed the backs of his knuckles over your cheek, and you tried not to shudder, under the kiss he placed to her handprint.  Your face was tilted more into the light, and he raised his top lip in a snarl as he studied the mark, pressing more kisses against it.  Clearly he hated having anything on your body; he did not place, or request placing there himself.  It certainly couldn’t be, despite his offer of apology at her hitting you, because of the actual pain.     

Ren gave a quiet grunt; the only sign that lifting the corpse from the floor, strained him.  So, had the girl lost her life for the slap or was it more for speaking to you in your mother tongue?  Either one seemed too harsher punishment, to your judgement.  Now you hated yourself for your earlier glee, at revenge. Allowing the guilt to suffuse you, feeling sickened to your very core, for having enjoyed seeing her squirm.  You told yourself again, and again in beratement that you were better than that.  It disgusted you to have sunk to that a depth; to their depth of inhumanity.  You knew that, whilst you hadn’t killed her; you would forever feel guilty for being unable to stop it.  Just like the Resistance members you failed to save.  

Your stomach heaved, and you fled his arms.  Hux realising you as nosily you deposited the small remains of your evening meal into a nearby waste-basin.   The hands at your back were cool against your fever flushed skin, and as unexpected as the closeness he kept to you.

At first you flinched against them, scared of the tight circles he pressed into your lower back, before realising that he meant for his actions to be soothing.  It would never be soothing to you, to have this man show gentleness.  It always came with an unknown price, and this scared you more than his harshness, ever could.  He had obviously left something important to be here, only to find you unusable, and you wondered how and when the cost of that, would be taken from your body. 

You tiredly shrugged off his arm, and again he let you.  Hux handing you water to swill your mouth clean of vomit, waiting as you brushed your teeth. Why the hell did he hang about, surely there were others he could use in this situation, better suited to his depraved tastes? Bitterness rose from your chest, a fresh wave of bile threatening to wrack your empty and already painful stomach.  Stupidly you had allowed yourself a further moment, to wonder how they took them.  Letting yourself dwell on scenarios and possibilities you knew you really, didn’t want to. 

He was The Emperor of the First Order occupied galaxy, and surely as Emperor he had a harem of men and women to serve him. There must be so many of them, so why then where you kept separate from them?  Was it because he was gentler with them, or did he fear you would, try and harm them? Or worse, where they each as trapped, and unwilling as you were? 

With all probability; regardless of their status; he was just as perverted in his tastes with them.  Though, if they were willing, would he show them more kindness, more freedom and rewards than you?  A stab took you groin again and you winced, almost doubling over with the sudden sharpness of your cramps.  It was not unusual to feel this level of pain with your menses; in fact, this wasn’t as bad as it could get.  Hux kept up his repugnant show of concern, crooning softly to you, as he led you into the bedroom.    

You went with him, hoping he would either just go, or at the least get on with whatever game he was building you up to.  He seated you onto a fresh, but neatly folded towel, placed to protect the fresh sheet from being soiled.  Kneeling himself down before you, he lifted the hem of the towel, from your thighs. 

He was methodical in his checks of you, running his hands over the skin of your thighs, working higher to your sex.  The blood on your thighs, and his earlier concern, made you swiftly summarise that, he was worried you may have found a blade, or someway of harming yourself. 

It was more concern for his prised whore, that you didn’t want. He was impossible of feeling true remorse if you did.  Even by his own admissions, he often pointed out that he didn’t think you deserved, his worry.  Clearly, the blood and the handprint; meant that to Hux, it would not do; for anyone but himself and Ren to hurt you.

“This is normal, for you to bleed at this time?”

It took a moment for you to register his question.  If you knew what the date was you could have answered the question better, as it was you had no real understanding of how long they had kept you.

“You mean is it normal for, a woman to have a period?!”

You gave a short laugh at is stupidity, stopping at the stern look he shot you.  Of course, it was normal for you to bleed, most women had periods, surely he knew that.  Once calm you expected his hand to fly, or some measurement of pain; in some clever little punishment for you.  It did not and the sceptical look, he gave you had you physically cowering, under his scrutiny.  He pinched your chin, forcing you to look at him, lest you mistake the ire in his oddly animated eyes, or the warning in his tone. 

“You have done nothing to encourage this?”

This time his voice was so stern; that you knew you would have lied even if you had.  Gulping you swallowed down your horror; that he could be checking you had not been given contraceptives. You knew a moment of sheer and utter naked panic then, knowing the chances of you been given anything, or having a working implant, was so small.  There was nothing in your body that would stop a possible pregnancy, and they exposed you to plenty of opportunities to conceive.  Clamping your hands back to your stomach, you drew up your knees, your gut threatening to turn liquid inside you. 

You wished not for the first time to be far beneath his notice.  Cursing yourself for the day you had volunteered to go next, you tightened up on yourself.  Keeping your eyes steadily on him at all times, ready if he choose again to touch you, this time you could not bare it.

He straightened up, and backed off.  Keeping himself away from you, deciding instead to pace the room, as you watched him with a revolting, horrified fascination.  Watching his clipped measured, movements for any signs of change.  Waiting for the moment he would finally pounce on you, like a wounded animal urgently does its stalker. 


	7. Chapter 7

So far he had not hurt you, not forced any perverse activities on you, but that was of small comfort.   This whole set up was absurd; normal people did not act like this.  They didn’t rape people, they didn’t keep people prisoner as sex slaves, and they certainly, didn’t put them at risk of being forced to carry their children. 

Surely even the First Order had its rules about prisoners of war?  Probably only to put them to death, but that was better than this!  Except there was no war anymore; therefore, you were not a prisoner, but a traitor.  Nothing more than the spoils of war to these men, and with no one to protect you, forfeit as such to be treated as chattel. 

You were grateful when he stopped, that he came no closer than the end of your bed. Though you were ready if he did, and given this fresh knowledge; you would fight even harder to keep them off you.  You would do everything in your power, if you couldn’t to avoid falling pregnant.  Hux waited patiently, knowing you would try to act out in your panic; watching you back, all with a supposed calmness you could not understand.  The man really was a psychopath, and Ren too was as bad, both of them feeding off each other, raising the daily anti until it had led to this.   

When his companion returned; he checked in first with Hux, bending slightly, to whisper something into his ear.  They both looked back at you in unison, Ren rolling his shoulders, flexing his arms, before prowling speedily, over to you. 

You let loose your legs; pushing them out to meet him as he came close enough.  They collided with a jarring shock, to his abdomen. But like the immovable titan he was; his muscles just absorbed the shock of impact, raising arm to toss the soaked energy back at you.  He had been pre-empting it, knew this was what was to come. Rather than Hux’s approach to wait; he had decided to goad you into striking out at him.  You felt the jarring of it run through your torso, flinging you onto your back, knowing at once that it was a stupid, and poorly timed mistake.  A utter waste of your energies, what could you ever have done to hurt him? 

A flick of his wrist, and you were tossed over and onto your stomach.  Held in place by unseen bonds, as he crawled over your spine.  Adding to his Force-hold, one massive hand, pinning you down like an animal by your neck, adding your fear of him.  You heard a quiet clip, then a slide of metal against metal, as he unclipped his lightsabre from his belt. Followed by the deafening roar of the activated sabre next to your ear.  He brought it over your head, a fiery red beacon plunged straight down, and into the bed besides you.  You screamed, as he slid it through the singed mattress, towards you, it’s blade humming, kicking off molten sparks of singeing energy.  If he hadn’t of held so tightly onto your body; you would have crawled away, as it came closer to your face.  

“We came to see you were okay, and this is how you reward our concern?”

He yelled his fury at you, spitting each word like poison at you.  No, he hadn’t you told yourself sagely, it was just another game.  They had come to use you; and then found you like this, they had no more concern for you, than you did them.  How was it that your refusal to roll over and willingly let them take you; to use your body so cruelly, be seen as an act of betrayal.  His hand mashed your face deeper into the bed, and you closed your eyes, to the blinding light of his sabre.  

Finally, you let loose the tears that formed there, feeling them singed to steam by the heat of the sabre.  Mumbling your apologies to them through a heavy and thickly dry tongue, he finally let go of your neck, and you shuffled away, falling from the bed to the floor.  Almost skinning your knees raw on the carpet, in your haste to escape his weapon.

Hux’s hand caught in your hair; roughly wrapping your braid around his wrist.  Using it to pull you up and onto your feet.  He walked you back to the bed by it, holding you close as Ren deactivated the lightsabre, tossing it to the bedside table before kneeling beneath you.

“Again, you are not sorry, and neither are you grateful for anything we give you.”

The skin at your legs, was becoming tight with drying bloodied fluids, and you felt your stomach churn as Hux walked you over Ren’s face.  His breath was warm against your sex, blowing colder where it met your slickened inner labia.  What the bloody hell did you have to be grateful for? Everything they did, they did for them, not you.  You had never asked for any of this.

At once you were thrown forwards, Hux releasing your hair. You raised your arms, to uselessly try and catch yourself onto your outstretched hands, knowing you would fall.  

You didn’t, Ren clasped your thighs to his chest, catching you at the last minute to stop you from falling onto him.  Still you struggled forwards, frantically trying to shake him, to climb forwards over his head, desperate to escape him.  Holding your bladder against the fear of what they were going to do to you.  At once you felt every muscle in your legs lock into place, and you gave up trying to scramble away.  It would be a foolish worthless act, trying to fight the limbless arms that pinned you in place.  Another boneless hand gripped your throat, the pressure tight but, thankfully loose enough to allow some breathing.

“Finished, fighting me yet. Pet?”

There was sarcasm in Hux’s voice, he was somewhere behind you still.  He waited a moment to be sure you wouldn’t renew your struggles before he spoke again.  Loosening his belt, from his trousers he slipping it along your spine, as much to watch you shiver under him in fear, as to explain his intentions to you.

“Good.  Now I don’t expect you to enjoy this as much as I will, but I do expect thanks for administering your correction. One way or another Pet, you will learn your place.”

The hands at your legs slipped to needlessly wrap around them.  Adding to the Force holding them in place for him. It prevented you from falling, at the first slap of the leather strap against your naked buttocks.  It stung far worse than the crop had, and you prayed he wouldn’t hit you with it, as many times as he had the crop.  Gritting your teeth your scrunched your eyes closed on each pass of the belt, the pain quickly making you scream. 

With your eyes open, you couldn’t see Hux, but you could Ren.  You watched, completely appalled as his mouth trailing kisses over your stained thighs.  Unable to tear away your eyes, you watched him, slowly and sensuously paid attention to the bared skin.  Your arms pressed into the bed besides head, supporting the weight of your torso, with legs strewn and parted. 

The Force-hold on your throat kept you from being able to draw deep enough breaths, to give into panic, making you remain calm for him.  Leisurely Ren’s mouth raised to your sex, sucking more gentle marks into your thighs. With your head lowered, you could see him clearly from this position. Trapped in place, as the black mop of curls and thick swollen, blood stained lips came closer.  His eyes were hooded, thick with lust, as he kissed your outer lips, his jaw showing a splattering of your blood. 

It was impossible, that anyone would want to do, what he was threatening to do, and your face contorted in a snarl. Your stomach flipping, at what he was reaching to do.  His lips parted, pursed to blow and at once you felt him release a slow steady stream of air across your pussy.    

“Please don’t, its gross.”

He laughed, and as always his tone was dismissive of your discomfort. As though you were the one being silly, and un reasonably uncooperative, not them. 

“It won’t hurt me. It is completely natural pet, exactly as you would normally taste; but with blood.”

There was a reply but your concern at what Ren was about to do to you, was quickly over shadowed by another hurt.  Distracted by another painfilled swipe of the belt against you. 

At this he roughly drove his mouth into you, roughly drinking in the taste of you as hummed vibrations went through your core, as he flattened his tongue against you.  He ate you with such relish, drawing out each pleasure filled moan into your sex, letting you know he didn’t find it at all distasteful.  You shook your head; as much to your heated cheeks as his shameless brushing aside of your distaste. 

It wasn’t that you were ashamed of your body, quite the opposite.  Your period was completely natural, and given Hux’s possible plans for you; for once thoroughly welcomed with open arms.  But the idea of anyone wanting to place their mouth there, during your menses a time when you should abstain for sex, was not quite a pleasant one. 

Another pass of the belt, from Hux and Ren pressed closer to you, as your body jolted further onto his tongue by the force of the blow.  He used the forced closeness, to push his tongue further into you, swirling into your slickened little hole.  You gasped, digging your fingers into the bedsheets, your quiet mewling, turning into a scream of pleasure striped pain, as Hux whipped you again.

Over and over the blows seemed to reign, and whilst you sobbed in pain from your ass; Ren groaned enthusiastically into your sex.  Confusing your body as to whether it felt pain, or pleasure, whilst you screamed for Hux to stop.  Pleading with him to end your punishment, promising to behave, if he would just let the next be your last.  Whilst Ren kept up the steady flicks of his tongue, all the while ensuring his attentions to you, had the building pressure in your groin, intensifying to a throbbing need for release.          

Thanking him had worked before, and so after every swipe of the leather strap you began thanking him.  Your eloquent attempts at pleasing him, descending to a simple thank you on every pass of the leather strap.  A mantra to give yourself to, as between your legs Ren kept teasing you.  Building you up to a frenzied peaks; before, switching his attentive tongue elsewhere.  It was easier to cope with the beating, if you concentrated on that you realised. To dwell on the pleasure Ren gave you than the pain Hux did, it was far easier to take, than Hux’s beatings.

If only your pride would let you accept that was to be your chosen lot in this new life of yours, then in a small way you might have won.  It would give them a false edge on how you felt, whilst possibly ingratiating yourself into perks you could use to your favour.  You couldn’t yet though, when you sunk that low into despair then you would, but for now you would get through tonight. 

“Are you close, Pet?”

You gritted your teeth, refusing to dignify his question with an answer.  Hux bloody well knew you were close, and he knew you had a proper name too.  The belt landed on your ass again, forcing you to turn and look back at him.  He was pristine, not a drop of dirt on him, not a loose hair, so unlike your own appearance. What hair was left in your braid, lay in sweat soaked curls against your back.  The loose stands mixed in the mess of snot and tears that was your face.   

“Cum for me Pet, and I’ll make that your last blow.”

It was a low blow, to offer you the choice of what you felt was the lesser of the two evils, and from the open expectant look he held, you gathered you were supposed to be thankful for it.  You were not, between this and their need to treat you like some disobedient animal. You had nothing to be thankful for.

At first you hadn’t minded his refusal to use your name, and the one they gave you.  It gave you the option of shutting off, it let you pretend you were somebody else whilst they raped you.  But now, when faced with little daily reminders on your body; Pet had become your name, as much a part of you, as your birth name had.  It was impossible not, to associate it with you. 

Beneath you Ren swirled his tongue over your clit, a steady pressure that would at last give you the option to cum.  Hux raised the belt, slowly trailing it over your hips, stroking the raised flesh.  You could do this you told yourself as it was slowly lifted, you could cum.  It wouldn’t be for him, and his perverse needs, it would be for you and your own relief. Ren’s tongue changed in tactics, just as your orgasm was mounting, and desperate not to feel another kiss of Hux’s belt you grabbed Ren’s head. Digging your fingers into his scalp, to hold him there as you ground yourself down on him, throwing back your head in your blessed relief.

A low throaty chuckle, was the only sound that he was in some way, pleased by your willingness to behave for him, to finally comply with his instructions.  The pressure on your legs dropped, and realising you were free and you crawled forwards, gasping unsteadily as you flopped onto your belly.  Your ass stung, and even the air against it hurt, but strangely your womb seemed less virulent in its earlier complaints, the spasming pain almost soothed to nothingness.  The bed dipped, and a body settled between your splayed legs, at first your instincts made you tense ready to shuffle to face him; but the pain of your posterior  stopped you.     

There was no preamble, just fingers pinching your labia open, holding it like that.  You blushed realising that he was humming, keeping open your cunt, to his observant gaze.  There was a sharp intake of breath; and then the sharp noise of pursed lips spitting.  You jumped as it had landed into your open sex.  A pause and then another followed and then thick fingers, poking it inside you.  You blushed deeper, closing your eyes as you realised they weren’t done with you.  All at once you felt heavy weights against your body, holding you as you struggled uselessly beneath your Force-restraints.  There came another shifting of the bed, and then the edge of silent breaths, slow and steady against your cheek as he spoke.         

“Pet.”

When next you opened your eyes, Kylo hovered above you, expectantly waiting two fingers cupped.  Once he had the attention he had waited for; he swiped the bloodied mess over both cheeks, wiping both his spit your fluids onto you.  You were speechless; there was no words for the new low he had sunk to.  Was he punishing you like a dog, rubbing you nose in your blood like he would an animal it’s messes.  It was hardly your fault that his entire lower face was painted varying shades sanguine, plastered with your cum.  He had made your body do that, why then did he have to smear it on your skin.  Again, you wrinkled you nose at the depravity he would stoop to, that was.

“Do you still think I’m gross Pet?” 

He had cut into your thoughts to tease you again, but you weren’t going to be caught out feeding his ego, by replying to him.  Let him dip back into your thoughts, let him waste his energy on that, rather than having the information gifted to you.

His eyes had closed to near slits, and he came closer, into your line of sight. Slowly breath deeper; he lowered his mouth to your skin.  His tongue darting from his mouth running the thick mess, breathing in deeply as he traced each line of his fingers with it.  You tutted at that, rolling your eyes at the pettiness, of his actions.  Telling yourself not to respond, to let him taste it if he really wanted to, it wasn’t like you had to. 

Fingers returned to your sex; a thumb against your clit rubbing over the delicate still pulsing nub, as his middle finger slid effortlessly inside of you.  Ren’s mouth slipped lower over your cheeks, and at once both your noise and your stomach protested at the strong smell of iron.  It seemed to permeate the air between your faces, as he pressed his blood-stained cheek to your teared one.  He knew you found his visage distasteful, and so it was hardly as surprise when he rubbed his cheek firmer, exchanging more fluids between both your skins. 

Across the room, Hux stepped to your line of sight, watching not your body, but your face.  You found your eyes locked with his, his blue eyes blown black with lust, and his chest straining the fabric of his tunic.  His lips parted, running his tongue over the bottom one, and for the first time ever you were struck by how attractive he was, how attractive both men were really.  Surely with both their looks, and power there were women, both better suited to them, and willing to provide this service for them.  Why then was it your humiliation, they chose to indulge in, was it really that awful to wish there was someone else to arouse this man so much? 

More than once, you had to berate yourself, for the rocking of your hips.  A movement based on thousands of ears of human instinct, you told yourself more than once as you blushed furiously, biting your lip as you tried again for stillness.

There was a shifting, Ren’s chest pressing firmer against your back, replacing the Force with his own honed muscle.  You panted silently, stifling the noiseless moan that bubbled in your throat, as the practiced fingers slid from you.  You held a steadying breath, praying the noise was inaudible at least to Hux, that your complaint had gone unnoticed.  It had been so quiet, that even Ren couldn’t have heard it, but at once his lips parted, loudly and obnoxiously, echoing you.

Again, Ren brought his finger to your face, and you screwed your eyes tight against the smearing of juices that was to follow.  Appalled when instead it pressed to your lips.  It was still covered in your blood, and you shook your head, drawing your lips into your mouth, in a flat out refusal to allow it into your mouth. 

“It really won’t hurt you pet, it’s all you.”

He seemed to still think you the unreasonable one! You refused to open your mouth, and he rolled his eyes at you exasperated by your distaste.  You expected him to force you, instead he just ran it along your lips; smearing them red, before lowering his own mouth to yours. 

You didn’t close your eyes as he kissed you, keeping them firmly on Hux, watching as he palmed himself, through the fabric of his trousers.  You tasted the iron, mixed with bland saliva, and your precum; both on Ren’s lips and your own. The taste wasn’t as unpleasant as you had imagined, and when his tongue flickered against yours, you surprised yourself by allowing him admittance. 

Ren shifted, bringing a thigh between your legs, raising the knee to press it firmly against you.  His hands softly skimmed your breasts, pinching one sensitive nipple between his fore fingers, rolling the beaded flesh between them.  You closed your eyes against the hum that slipped your lips, telling yourself repeatedly, that it wasn’t your fault they did this to you.  You reasoned with your guilt, promising to address it later when left alone to do so.

“Do you like that, do you like what you do to him?”  

Hux’s voice was husky, and again you watched him.  He seemed to enjoy watching his lover, with someone else. His pupils wide with his response to you practically humping, Ren’s muscular thigh.   

You didn’t, but you could feel the effect this was having on you. The slickness between your legs was thickening to more than just blood again, and as he yanked your hips up to press your clit firmer to him, you willingly held them there. 

It was stupid to fight them, far better not to fight them, to let them take you.  It would both speed up what they did, and with any luck eventually bore them into leaving you alone, and so this time you let noise slip into your panting encouraging them.  It was picked up, and the growl Ren gave into your neck was disconcerting, though you brushed it aside, pressing yourself against the clothed mound of his hardened cock.

The look Hux gave you when you dared to look at him, was utter shock.  Though he speedily replaced it with one of suspicion, leaning across the bed to pinch your chin. Holding you in submission as he searched your face for clues.  The grip on your jaw tightened, as he snarled, coming to his own conclusions he ordered Ren to stop, commanding him away from you.

You froze; were you now, to overt in your compliance.  If so how; neither your vocal enjoyment, or your movements against Ren were anything near the vulgarities they indulged in.  Frowning you pulled back to your knees, careful not to upset the settling pain in your groin.  It confused you, was this not what they wanted all along?  Or better yet, had the key to your freedom from them, been your compliance all along.  Hux’s face was like thunder, and Ren’s was only marginally better, and you dropped your eyes to the floor, both unsettled and upset.

“I am not that stupid Pet, so don’t play me for a fool.”

If you could have found the answer to what he alluded to, you could have protested your innocence.  Your mind went through every possibility of where you went wrong, settling eventually on your decision to just let go.  Whilst the reasoning behind it had been cold and calculating, the actual enjoyment had been genuine. 

Hux, reached for his discarded belt; and at once, you reached forwards.  Your arm outstretched to beg him not to, your body couldn’t take another round of that punishment. The plea died in shock on your lips as he slid it back onto himself.  It was with the well-practiced air of a man at arms that he turned, and exited the room. Leaving you alone with Ren, and your ruined bed.

He took only another moment or two to study you, head tilted eyes narrowed.  If he chose to run through your thoughts with the Force, he did so painlessly again.  Stopping long enough to use the refresher, returning carrying a glass of water.  Two pills were placed on your tongue, pain relief he informed you, making you wonder if they were kept in the cabinets, or he had carried them ready for you?  You were not given a chance to find out.  He bid you farewell too, before he too left you alone.  Your body no longer ached as badly, and you found yourself surprisingly disappointed at their hasty departure. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for anyone who's stuck with this. I am genuinely seeing myself, going somewhere with this plot that I swore I never would in any story I wrote (Oh how times change lol) I just have to decide whether or not to just get on with it. Sort of ripping the tape off in one go thing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last of the three updates I have had for this on my computer for days. Thank you for talking and thank you all so much for your comments and kudos. It's really appreciated, and lets me know how others perceive my intentions/ the more subtle suggestions.

You watched the closed door in the dark, for an eternity; not sure what you had done wrong.  Was it finally over, and if so how much longer did you have, before Hux sent Ren to dispose of you?  You vowed not to sleep, doing your best to clean up the mess of blood and cum, telling yourself you would be found serene, accepting of your face as a member of the former Resistance.  They had made you so often in life, as a blubbering mess, that you were determined you would not go to your death as such. 

There was a scratching at the door, and jumping you looked blearily around you; momentarily confused.  Your last vigilance, must have eventually given way to sleep, and now as the door opened you scolded yourself furiously, for being weak enough to have slept.  You hoped you would look alert, and proudly you straightened yourself, ready to meet your fate.

It came as a shock then; to find the usual bevvy of Handmaidens, at the other side of the open door, their leader giving orders to have you preened and ready.  If you had thought them willing to risk answering you, you would have swallowed back the guilt, and asked what was going on.  Instead you assumed, that they were making one last mockery of you, before presenting you for your execution. 

You again, looked your best when they had finished, and you waited as one by one they exited the room.  This time leaving the youngest looking maiden with you.  This was odd; you had never been left with company before. Just the bare walls of the room to entertain you, the passing of the sun in the skylight above, and your meal times to look forwards to.  You both studied one another, with out speaking, and gathering despite her constant and passive stare she was here for the day; you settled down to waiting. 

By midmorning you’d had enough of her voiceless staring; and so, you tried talking to her.  You hadn’t expected her to respond vocally to you, or even answer with a nod or shake of her head when you asked closed questions.  But the stoic stare she kept up at you, was both unnerving and eerily obnoxious.  Therefore; you were more relieved than usual, then when night time came, and with it a chance to be alone.

The whole of the next week, was a repeat of the first. The only difference the slow rotating of the attendant they left with you. You were beginning to think yourself forgotten by your captors.  Never before, had you been allowed this much recuperation, or amount of undisturbed time away from them.  There was only your daily ritual of bathing, that suggested you were still of possible interest to Hux and Ren.  That and the mattress had been replaced for a new one.  That wasn’t for you, it was something they would need to avail themselves of your services. Something which you took as a subtle, but the larges yet, indicator that you were still here to stay.        

It was during the last few days of the second week that the time without them, began to lose its novelty.  The conversation hadn’t exactly been titillating, but it had been better than this intolerable silence.  The twelve night you screamed into your pillow, oddly frustrated by the lack of human contact, or any conversation.  You had never thought yourself possible of missing Ren or Hux, but it would be lying to say a small part of you wouldn’t have welcomed their attentions right now. 

The next morning you found yourself, both annoyed by the subtle brushes of your attendant’s hands as they dressed you, and leaning into them, craving more of their touch.  As wicked and unfeeling as they were, they were the only touch of humanity in all of this.  Once again, you were primped and preened; left ready for use, alone but for the attending Handmaiden.  The morning you had been able to restrain yourself for, holding back on the annoyance by imagining innovating ways to make their lives harder for you. But when the afternoon came you gave into the shortening fuse of your frustration; trying to draw her into conversation. 

She had of course, dutifully ignored you, though today rather than sulk at their petty following of order, you allowed anger to rule your actions.  They always insisted on following you everywhere, and it was when she followed you into the refresher that you gave into it. You had avoided going all morning, and in general as little as possible.  Not wanting to pee in front of her, you finally lost the careful hold on your anger. Your heavy bladder was forgotten, the indignity of having to piss, yet again to an audience was infuriating.  What did they think you were going to do, there was nothing to harm yourself on, you wouldn’t be alone long enough.  You yelled, not so much an instruction for them to leave you alone to your absolutions, as a wordless howl, expressing your frustration, looking around for a missile.

The first thing you threw at her was the towel, then the pressed bath soaps. She dodged them all and finally, you chose one of the smaller glass jars of scented oils, they left unlocked whist you had an attendant. 

She knew better than to hit you back, it wasn’t worth risking a possible punishment, and well aware of that fear, you exploited it; taking out all your aggression, on the poor girl. You had just reached for the heavier glass jars, when the door swung open, Ren barging into the room.  You still grasped the heavy jar guiltily between both hands, and around you lay a mess of oils and soaps.  There was a crunch as he came closer; and the girl wisely backed out of the way.  Trying to make herself invisible, as you cowered back towards the open storage cupboard.

As though his presence wasn’t frightening enough, his voice dripped an even icy snarl of almost distain, whilst he looked over the wreckage of your refresher.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

You swallowed hard, ashamed now at the pettiness of your behaviour, trying to ignore the reason for you being in this room.  The anger that drove you to scream insults at your maid, died a slow death on your dried-out tongue, and you realised you were somewhere between fear and irrational shame.  It had only taken one glance at the ire in his eyes, the brown more a gold flecked velvet black, at your behaviour.  He was furious, and unlike Hux his anger was less predictive, him the more likely person to just lash out without warning. To hit you purely to express his own displeasure, and not in any way to give a to give correction.   

In all honesty, you had thought them both gone from the palaces. Or at the least too taken with other things to care about what you did.  They had ignored you for nearly two weeks, why would you still think they bothered with you, that you still mattered enough.   

You struggled, but even the words for an apology wouldn’t come, instead you just shook in fear.  He came slowly, deliberately drawing out the stalking, of his prey.  It was supposed to intimidate you, but when he pressed up against your chest, you realised just how desperate you had been for any human touch.  You melded to him, as he forced you back against the wooden shelves of your cupboard.  Even his anger was welcome now, it was at least a genuine sentiment, and not the robotic, void stares of your daily attendants.

Choking on the lump swelling inside your throat you blinked back your tears to whisper your apology.  You hadn’t realised you had pressed your chest against his, nor that you had taken hold of his arm, until he pulled away disentangling your arms from him; holding each of your wrists aloft, a fist wrapped around each one. 

This time he was firmer, if it was at all possible more bite as he yelled, repeating his demand for an explanation.  You flinched at that, struggling to hold on your bladder, screwing your eyes tight to give another choked whisper.

“I don’t know.”

You had no explanation for your actions.  You could give ever reason leading up to you snapping and throwing the first item.  But you couldn’t decide why you had done it, what exactly had you set out to achieve? 

“You don’t know?”

His voice dipped so quietly, that you almost babbled an explanation.  Cut off from that idea when he began a low growl of complaint, that rose steadily to a roar of chastisement.

“You don’t know, why once again you take our generous hospitality and throw it back in our face.”

His grip on your wrist tightened to beyond painful.  The pressure passing through hard, and onwards towards terrifyingly bone braking density.  His face pressed closer to yours, his lips pulled back in a snarl, that flicked spittle at you with every syllable.   

 You don’t know why I have had to leave, your Emperor alone, in an important meeting with the new Zeltron ambassador. And all because you decide to act like a spoilt little brat, over being left alone, for a few days.”

Beneath his grip and warning stare, the volume and force of his voice, made your bladder finally give out on you.  Doing something you had never before done as an adult; you wet yourself.  You face paled to a sickly white, as you realised you had lost control. Desperately you crossed your legs, to try and contain the warm liquid sliding down your legs, but it was too late, and as it splatted onto the stone floor. Ren stepped back, keeping hold of you, he raised an eyebrow, at you making it clear that this accident, had his full and undivided attention.  It was possibly more mortifying than anything they had done to you, and you felt the blush beginning to rise from your neck.  It ran a sickening heat across your face, suffusing your bloodless cheeks as more droplets trickled down to your sandaled feet. 

Your face tilted to the floor in shame, as hot tears prickled your cheeks.  You felt wretched, and it was made worse not so much by the extra pair of eyes in the room; as the deep understanding he would have of your embarrassment.  She would relay it back to the other handmaidens, they would all know you pissed yourself.  Ren waited until you had finished, pointedly paying attention to you.

“Really Pet; watersports are more your Emperor’s forte than mine.”     

The pale fabric of your dress was translucent with piss, and you wished the floor would swallow you whole.  He knew exactly what to speak to make it worse, his voice too husky to be just jest at your awful situation.  Would anyone really take seriously his suggestion that all this was for his attentions?  He stepped closer to you, disregarding both the smell and damp puddle; to slot his knee between your leg.  Pushing your hands to the wall he kept them pinned by your head, your eyes wide as he pressed a thigh to your sodden crotch.  The attention he showed your neck, was no more than a small selection of light kisses, as he rolled onto the ball of that foot.  Bouncing his leg, so it rubbed his leather clad thighs, against your sex.  You closed your eyes, blocking out your attendant, ignoring the scent of your urine, focusing on the thicker smell of perfumed oils and the warmth of his body against yours.  Spreading your leg to him, you told yourself that this was better than the countless hours of loneliness, his touch, his approval was better than none.       

“Are you that desperate for our touch?”

You subtly swung your hips, to bring his leg tighter against your clit, minutely as possible, pressing down to rub yourself, on each rise of his foot.  The idea that your action would go unnoticed to a Force-adept so powerful as Kylo Ren was laughable at best to a novice.  But you had been around him too long, to have sensibly thought, he wouldn’t guess what you were about.  His breath deepened in your ear, a sound that wouldn’t normally have registered as erotic, and taking this as encouragement you foolishly ground harder against his leg.  The small whimper you gave, was the first indication that you had let go, and blushing you allowed yourself a loader hum of encouragement. 

“Then if so, that is what these are for!”

He jerked you by your wrists, and obvious indication that you should have touched yourself in your boredom. You couldn’t find a cognitive thought process, to work out which were you more offended at, let alone voice it. Which was more of an insult?  The hospitality they claimed to show you, or the suggestion that you should have fucked yourself to thoughts of them abusing you, either was deplorable. 

It certainly was not, you protested; that he left you now, alone with only the watchful maid.  You waited a moment or two after he had gone before you sniffed. Pressing your hand over your mouth to stifle the scream.  Eyes fixed on the Handmaiden, it was a good reminder of why you wouldn’t give in to such weakness.

In one abrupt movement, you pulled the dress over your head, not caring if it tore, they could afford new ones.  It was already soiled, and you added that and your pants to the mess at the floor, daring to snarl a command for the small maid to clean up your mess.

She jumped straight to it, surprising you with the speed at which she willingly followed orders.  At the door, you stopped to rip off your sandals, tossing them back to join the pile.

Once she was finished you, gave another order for her to run a bath, surprised at her obedience. They had been so uncooperative before, so the passive way she followed orders worried you.  She seemed willing, but her face remained a blanc mask of indifference, you had sent her for a dress, when on a whim you called her back.  There was something wrong, and following that thread of suspicion, you ordered her to open her mouth.  She did, though the tongue you had expected to be severed, or disabled seemed still functional.  

“I am the only one still permitted to speak, the others have now been conditioned not to.”        

You jumped, you hadn’t heard the lead handmaiden come into the room.  She was older than the other girls, and always there had been an unmistakable streak of cruelty in her behaviour towards you.  She would deliberately pull your hair too hard when pinning it back, and although she never cut you when shaving your body, you suspected she wanted to.  It was with a wariness then that you keep your mouth closed, when she sent the other girl to fetch you clean clothing.

“It seems Hux is pandering to your little display, he has summoned you for later.”

It was new to have her talk to you, and you weren’t sure which was scarier; that she spoke, or that Hux had asked for you.  The sneer in her voice told you everything else you needed to know.  Hux was either going to punish you, or fuck you.  Either one had not been what you set out for in all of this.  Shivering despite the warmth of the bath water, you ignored all thoughts dwelling on what was to come, too absorbed in her opinion of you.

Did she honestly think you were complicit in all of this, that you wanted their attentions?  You really were alone, there was no Resistance, or New Republic to come and rescue you, all of that was done with.  Even if there had been, you were of no importance, nobody would be missing you.  Your attendants made no further attempts to communicate, and silently you donned the clean dress.  You gave thanks to the more junior attendants; but not their over seer.  There had been enough talk of the conditioning used, amongst First Order deserters to know it was a tough process on the individual, seen by the leaders as an essential way of ensuring loyalty amongst their troops.  But the need to do it to civilian servants mystified you. 

The rest of the day, was spent in quiet contemplation and honest sympathy for your attendant maid.  When your evening meal came, you tried sharing the sweeter portion of it with her; in apology for your earlier outburst.  If she declined, she didn’t tell you, ignoring even your demands to eat it, or at the very least save it for later, and frowning you wondered what her conditioning had entailed.

It was not long after nightfall that you were summoned.

It seemed the Emperor still had use of an office.  He sat behind a colossal ebony and gold desk, his brow furrowed as he worked.  Your ears strained, you had not seen any signs of Ren on your arrival, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t about.  A deep red carpet lay on the marble floor, leading in a great stripe to the desk.  Behind it a First Order flag was mounted on a gold horizontal flag pole.  It was another show of power, a clear and obvious reminder that he was now, the First Order.  You had spent too long looking, no matter how briefly you had flicked your eyes around the room, and so careful not to antagonise him; you dropped to your knees. 

Your position was on of total obedience, your body held in abeyant, for his attentions.  The flowing circles of your skirt, spread neatly around you.  You kept your head bowed, your bottom rested on the soles of your feet and your palms up-facing; you were ready.

Either he took his time, or the work was demanding of his attention; either way your legs threatened to go numb.  You wiggled your toes, tensing and flexing your shoulder muscles, doing your best not to appear to fidget as you waited. He cleared his throat, and you took it as a warning that your movements had not been small enough, holding your back straighter, your shoulders stiller. 

“Come here.”

You dared not look at him, so unnerved by the gentle command, that you were unsure he had addressed you. But there was no one else here. So, you took the expectant pause to be him waiting and slowly walked towards the desk. Dropping to your knees before it, again waiting in obeisance, head facing the floor again.

He drew in a deep sigh, and this time his voice held notes of frustration as he called you closer.  Your fingers trailed the edge of the desk for comfort, as you walked around it.  It was probably seen as fidgeting you realised, quickly pulling them into a closed fist at your hip.  Assuming it was safest to drop to your knees, you readied your skirts.

His hand gripped your bicep not too firmly, holding you from dropping to your knees. Pulling you to stand in front of him, as he scrutinized your appearance.

His gaze landed heavily on the ornate collar at your neck, the neckline of this gown cut slightly higher framing the silver necklace.  It was almost civilised how you were dressed, the necklace cleverly wrought to avoid spilling any of his secrets.  You could pass at times for nothing less than visiting dignitary, others as little more than his whore.

“Ren told me about earlier.”

There was an edge of warning to his voice, making you gulp and you tried fruitlessly to avoid blushing.  Forgetting your place and anger in your shame, you stammered out your protests; that you had not deliberately wet yourself. 

Of all things, you hadn’t expected him to laugh so openly.  But he did making you forget all the reasons you didn’t look directly at him without permission.  The back of his fingers brushed your cheeks, the leather cooler than usual against your heated cheeks.  His eyes held genuine amusement, and he seemed surprisingly taken with your stammered explanation.

“Maker, how are you still so innocent?”

You wanted to hide from him, your face held the proof to back up his opinion of you.  To deny it was stupid, it would instead pay tribute to his other opinion of you.  He only ever named you his slut, when he fucked you, but that too could probably be said of you.  He had made you responsive to him, not through desire, but forced copulation and now after the period of isolation it was worse.  You wanted to offer his gentle rebuke with one firmer and more aggressive of your own; to remind him what you thought of him.  That was the problem though, that opinion would only excite him.  Right now, although tactile with you, his all be it too intimate touches were not yet overtly sexual in nature. 

“What was the problem earlier then Pet?”

You shook your head, a silent refusal not to answer, but that you still had no answer.  He sighed at you, and used the intercom to summon refreshments.  They were swift to arrive tall glasses of a cool drink.  He enjoyed keeping you on edge, and had clearly learnt that this force attempt at gentle intimacy could upset you just as much as his brutality.  It all served to keep you unbalanced and desperate to please him, leading you unsure of if a kiss or a blow came next. 

You still had your pride, though there was precious little of it left; and you were not about to quell that.  To loose it all and give into your distaste, willingly allowing him to touch you in trade for his approval.

He took his time, slowly drinking as he finished his work.  Ignoring you except to offer a refill of your drink, whilst he sent you to use his refresher.  That stung, you hadn’t lost control earlier because of one drink.  For a moment, you thought about not bothering to use it before deciding you were being unnecessarily petty, and stupid.  You had no way of knowing what he was up to.  Finished you washed up, checking yourself in the mirror before joining him back in his office. 

The drinks were all cleared away, except your half full glass and you were instructed to quickly finish it.  Dutifully you drank it in one, waiting as Hux, drew an odd item from one of the larger draws.  He asked you if you knew what it was, again amused by your naivety when you couldn’t answer. It was a mix of ornate pieces of metal, scrolled etchings on it suggesting it matched your collar. Making you assume he had commissioned this for your use.

“Lift your skirts.”

You did, the material thicker, less opaque than usual harder to gather up in your small arms.  Cutting off your view of your legs.  The first brush of his fingertips made you jump, though you quickly corrected yourself to stillness.  They hooked into the crotch of your panties, pulling the delicate lace aside.  Your lips were parted and a finger pressed firmly inside of your cunt.  Removed just as quickly, when he found you not wet enough for his tastes, before flattening back the crotch.

Slowly you watched as he brought the metal plates together, under your skirts.  Listening as they were clicked into place, over the mound of your pussy.  The final click left a thinner piece running between your legs. 

“Normally such devices are created purely to avoid a woman being able to touch herself.  This one I would also advise you not to try and pass water in.”

You knew nothing of such devices and so it further fuelled his perverse pleasure of you when you reached under your skirts.  Normally such behaviour would be seen as fidgeting and you encouraged to fight your fear of it.  But now he dragged you back to the bathroom mirror.

Standing behind you, he wrapped one arm around your waist. Lifting your skirts with the other, hooking them under his arm.  It displayed the device he had created for you in its entirety, and wordless with fear and misunderstanding you stared.  It certainly had been created to match your collar, and would be quite beautiful, if not so concerting. He nuzzled at your neck, and ear seemingly very pleased with his handiwork.

“This is what is known as a chastity device; or at least that is one of its functions. I am having both you and Ren wear a matching set for tonight's little function.”

You’d guessed well enough what it was, though what he expected to achieve putting you in one.  You hadn’t had any desire to touch yourself, too disgusted by your treatment, by the depravity they thrust you into.  So that wasn’t really your concern, as you ran your fingers over the silver plates.

“What happens if I need to go.”

You blushed, trying to phrase it as politely as possible.  There were no holes in the device and it came high up your pubic mound, if you peed in that, you would sit in it.  Your only hope was that you were not in it too long.  His eyes lit at your discomfort, sucking at your ear as he dropped your skirts.  Turning your around, pressing you against the mirror before kissing you, his hand gripping your metal clad hip.

“You will go; only when I permit you to go, Pet.” 

You dared not ask when that would be.  Wishing you had somehow dodged the second glass.  He explained his plans for the evening.  You were to accompany him to his evenings soiree, collared but not chained.  He made it perfectly clear; that you would be in politer company, and should you misbehave it would be a longer wait. 

“It is a test Pet, do not fail it.”  

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was just adding the amount of chapters I had left in draft/planning, to the number yet to come. But as this is completely a spur of the moment work, it seems stupid to keep adding to that number, so I have no idea when this will end. I know how it will end, I know thing I definitely want to add, and others I might add, and I know how I want to get there. But I think I'll work through until I work out how many chapters it will take, to get there. (That probably only makes sense to me)  
> Thank you.

“A test?”

You were too engrossed in trying to understand him that you failed to predict his next move.  He pressed his mouth to you one more time.  It was impossible to comprehend how he thought cutting you off from masturbation was in some way a chore; and so, that didn’t bother you.  It was the thought of having to ask permission to use a toilet, that was the real insult.  You doubted he would let you go with so much as a quiet request in his ear. No, he would make you beg, and in front of an audience too.    

As always Hux took care to ensure your dress was in order, and any finishing touches added before he led you from the room.  It wouldn’t do for you to be anything less than perfect in his company. Once done, he placing your hand onto his arm, leading you through his office and into the palace.  There had been one final addition to your wardrobe; an ornate headdress. It was neither a crown nor a tiara, just more wealth piled on top of you.  It could be considered vulgar, to be decked so; if it wasn’t for Hux’s impressive tastes.  As it was, he just managed to make you look more alluring, a shiny bauble to decorate his arm.  It the combination of dress and jewellery contrived to make you look more exotic than anything else; the heavier make up accentuating your eyes, making them appear larger.  You were after all just another one of his possessions; one he could openly display as his. It would be stupid to think he didn’t want others to covet you, to know his use for you.  It was just to be hoped, that he still wouldn’t let them touch you.  

The evenings party was held in the open courtyard; the same one you had been taken to the morning you turned on Hux.  It was lit by torches and small fire pits, lanterns hanging from the trees.  You had to admit it looked beautiful, and above you at least two of the planets moons hung, in the starlit night sky. It had been so long since you had been outside, that you found the open space was disconcerting. It was too open and if it hadn’t been for Hux’s hold on you, it would have been too tempting to give into hesitation.  As it was you were allowed no opportunities to stumble, and for that little bit of help you were thankful.

Hux had failed to be more specific in the role he expected you to play, but you knew better than to plead ignorance as your excuse for failure.  You knew by now that your confusion was a deliberate addition to tonight’s game; somehow a part of the test.  At first you had expected it to be to watch you fail, to give him a reason to punish you.  But that was until you met your audience. 

It wasn’t huge by any standards, but it was the largest gathering Hux had insisted you attend.  The first that you were not physically chained to him.  Not that it was needed here, the silver around your neck spoke louder volumes of what you were, than the whispers that dogged your footsteps.  They were under no illusions as to what you were, and more than one mama was heard decrying the fact that he brought his ‘whore of a public function’.  His face had changed into the elusive amusement at that, just a ghost of a smile across his eyes.  It pleased him to upset them, to not have to answer to their sensibilities.  You were nothing to Hux, but by using you as such he may as well have painted crosshairs on your back; a target.  They wouldn’t dare hurt Hux, but they would you; and if that happened would it become a reason to pretend to take offence.  You wanted nothing more than to be back in the in descript, but secure walls of your chamber.  Slowly you followed, his lead towards a seating area, aware that your only protectors were also your jailers.  Here you were like a fawn amongst a pack of Vornskr, and without being told to you stayed close to Hux.  You may hate him, but here under his mighty shadow you were safest.  There was a chair, but you ignored it happier to be knelt down at the foot of his chair; in this position, you were a challenge to no one.  Hux hadn’t seemed bothered about your chosen position, summoning attendants to bring you cushions, enabling you to nestle down by his legs.  The more the evening lengthened; the more you saw the more practical side of Hux’s attempts to make you more comfortable; and wished you had made a play for the chair.  The seat on the pants lost heat very quickly, and the ground was not overly warm either.  The thicker material would thankfully hide the metallic pants you now wore over your more practical pair; yet on their own it wouldn’t have kept you warm sat on the bare floor of the patio.  The chastity belt wasn’t painful; but then nothing you wore was ever made to be particularly comfortable.  These though were far worse than any fabric garment he had ever placed you in.  The real annoyance with it; was that it was impossible to forget you had it on.  No matter how you sat, you couldn’t shake the feeling that people would know what you wore.  It was somehow worse than not wearing any; at least that could be blamed on the style of your dress.

It was a long and tedious night, though thankfully not overly cold, nothing the fires couldn’t handle.  The novelty of being outside soon turning to boredom, the stares dying to no more than background annoyance.  There were more tributes presented, this time more subtly made; and you gazing wide eyed, at the progression of visiting nobility. Though this time thankfully this time there were no openly displayed offers for you, sparing you the worry of if Hux would refuse you.

You gathered from the occasional well-dressed lady daring to approach him, that more than one daughter was there to be presented to him.  They all looked down their noses at you, too involved with their own sense of self-importance, to notice the distain cleverly laced into Hux’s greetings.  You didn’t, though you were not about to dwell on it.  Just knowing he was on edge was enough, and there was little you could do to protect him if he decided to turn that on you.  Subtle changes in his carriage and deportment told you, who he was not happy with being here, and that did deserve your attention.  It may be nothing of importance at all, and probably nothing you could use to your advantage; but it would serve you well to know who annoyed him.   Nobody spoke in greeting to you, you were invisible, beneath their notice.  One man even going as far as to refuse to acknowledge that you were even in the way, as he walked over to greet his Emperor.  Here amongst the fringes of society, it all made such sense now why you were more modestly dressed. He didn’t want to offend the sensibilities of such seemingly delicate ladies.

Ren was about and though not always at Hux’s side; had chosen to notice you.  He had bowed in greeting to his Emperor before bending to give you a simple kiss in greeting.  The smirk he openly wore after, told you he had enjoyed the gasps of the well to do, more so than the press of your lips.  Hux, had not been happy with that; and again, you were sure something more than looks passed between them, as their eyes met.  You doubted that it was his decision to greet you, it was such common place to do so; but when they broke their eye contact, both men appeared to search the room for something. 

Ren’s stance as he prowled around the room, made you doubt Hux’s earlier admission that he wore a similar devise to you.  Whilst you knew Ren was more submissive to Hux’s wishes in bed, this seemed to be too demeaning for such a powerful man.  Too freely he drank; downing glasses whilst you avoided all but the tiniest sips of wine, Hux pressed on you. Too unsure how long your bladder must last, and too proud to ask. 

You watched Ren stalk towards the outskirts of the gathering, as though patrolling for something.  More than once he was approached by both men and women, both sexes seemingly eager to entice him.  Making you wonder if he was open about his preferences, but not his current partner, or if they just sought to try their luck.  Each one, he sent packing with no more than a quick sentence and a scowl.  Above you Hux shifted in his seat, just the tiniest show of annoyance.  He seemed to tolerate it only so long, each earning a glacier dagger.  Until he finally chose to leave the makeshift dais, to assert his ownership over his lover. 

You watched him as he went, his stride long, even and so precise.  The red firelight burnished beautifully against the paleness of his skin, and the gold of his hair.  They cut such a pretty picture together, for a set of monsters.  Both men tall and neither physically unattractive.  Hux’s pale sleeve pressed around the darker fabric of Ren’s surcoat, pulling him to him in an unmistakable gesture of possessiveness.  The Dark-Jedi turned to look down on Hux’s unusual public display, standing taller only by inches; though his frame dwarfed Hux’s slender one.

Both men had left you alone, without a protector and you did your best not to openly display the weakness, though the vornkirs circled around your unguarded person.  Hux and Ren seemed too engrossed in each other and you hadn’t been given instructions to remain.  So eventually you gave into temptation, and escaped the pointed leers, growing closer.  Cursing that they had less manners than the lowest servant, slipping off into the safety of the outskirts of the garden. 

You didn’t go far, merely stayed on the fringes of the torches, were the firelight was less bright watching the gathering, for any sign you were missed.  It was good to have a little space and although cooler here, though thankfully the climate kept you warm enough. 

There was a puff of breath against your lower neck and you jumped, so sure one of the guests had found you.  Calming yourself only when as familiar scent registered.  Ren’s deep voice in your ear spoke in greeting.  His arms circled you from behind and you stiffened.  It was too dark in the outskirts, to see either of you; the revellers eyesight too blinded by the light.  But for a second Hux’s gaze rested on you both, too precise to be an accident. 

Ren pressed you against him, pulling your hands behind you, taking your tiny hand in his huge paw.  You thought he was here to punish you for leaving the party, until he lifted apart a gap in his coat; plunging your hand past the waist band of his trousers.  Ren as always wore no pants and your fingertips instantly brushed against metal.  Making your eyes widen as you realise Hux hadn’t been lying, both of you wore metal cages around your groins.

“Ah, but I am permitted to control my own bladder Pet. It seems after earlier, Hux feels you need training.”

His jest stung, and you would have turned to furiously confront him, had it not been for the sensation of fingertips brushing your cunt lips.  It was impossible for real fingers to penetrate the metal, though that didn’t stop them from feeling real.  Slowly they dipped between your outer labia, repeatedly stroking against the sensitive flesh they contained, into gathering wetness.  The spare hand dipped under the neckline of your dress, drawing fresh gasps as he plucked at your nipples.  His mouth pressed to your bared neck, running a tongue under your jaw line. 

Across the courtyard, Hux looked back over at you, and from the light reflected in Ren’s eyes, this time you knew their gazes met.  It held; as the bodiless fingers pressed inside you, pushing on a spot to the front of your vagina.  Wordlessly you gasped, throwing your head back onto Ren’s heavy chest, feeling the gentle thudding of his heart in your ear.  It had been so long since you had really felt pleasure; that you hadn’t realised you had missed it, and when his lips met yours you had never been so greedy for a taste of him.  Boldly you worked your tongue into his mouth, mewling into him as more of the liquid pleasure, surged your veins. 

He gave a murmured warning against your ear for you to hush, turning your face back to the party.  Still there was no way Hux could have seen you, but this time it was your eyes he seemingly gazed into.  You gasped, mouth open in silent panting as another pressure circled your clit; lidded eyes seeking your own.  Unbidden your hands sought Ren’s crotch, more shocked than surprised at what you found there.  You had assumed when Hux told you, he wore a matching item that it would be identical, but this wasn’t.  Yes, you both wore metal contraptions; but there the similarities ended.  Oh, you had no doubt that it was as decoratively carved as yours; the scroll marks in perfect alignment with the gold embroidery on Hux’s uniform.  It was a loop of metallic bands, two wrapping his flaccid cock; one at the base the other behind the glans.

“Except mine is gold pet.”     

You were too far gone in your pleasure, to register the possible insult he added to the confirmation of your thoughts.  Gold was of higher value than silver, and therefore Hux had decked his favourite in more costlier metal.  Slowly you probed the chastity device; feeling more now for the design of the belt, than what it protected.  There was no way he could be feeling quite the pleasure you did, and not the painful repercussions.  Whether it was designed to prevent an erection or just to make one unbearable you didn’t know.  But one thing was for certain; it was seemingly an effortless endeavour to remain in his current state.

“We should return to the party.”

His voice was breathy; he was unmistakably as aroused as you were. So, it was not that he wasn’t turned on, just that he could control his responses to it better than you.  The abrupt removal of his Force-touch on you was understandably disappointing and frustrating.  You were led back to the circle of visitors.  A drink was procured for you and placed into your hands and as Ren slowly blended you into their ranks.  You were not permitted to lose it, Ren making sure he gave an order for you to drink it. No one, except the Emperor had realised either of you had been missing, too engrossed in their shameless bids for his attentions.  Ren delivered himself back to Hux’s side with a barely perceptible nod, making you realise your escape had been orchestrated.  The touch on your sex continued, nothing heavy enough to cause more than a squirming desire for more.  Ren was playing Hux’s game beautifully for him, and your body responded too easily to it. 

You knew better than to squirm, though your breathing was harder to control.  More than once you wanted to grind yourself down, onto the phantom fingers circling your dripping hole.  They tucked you between them both, no doubt so that they could further enjoy your discomfort.  Their taller frames dwarfing you; but for once offering you security from prying eyes.  Nobody could comment on your presence, or the flush to your cheeks.  They couldn’t make open assumptions, without suggesting their Emperor took anything from you that was too improper; but they could look.  To comment on how barely held together you were; would suggest their Emperor stooped to a level unacceptable for royalty.  It didn’t leave you feeling any less dirty, or under any doubts that you were so publicly aroused.  Though thankfully, no one could see the mess you knew your pants would be in, and even if they could; all of them were too scared of the power he wielded, to risk his displeasure. 

You kept your eyes down cast at all times. To raise them would undoubtedly be seen as a challenge, or a suggestion you enjoyed your current state, by at least one of them.  It sadly meant you couldn’t watch for the tiny changes in people’s demeanour, that you had learnt to anticipate as a warning. But thankfully you could listen for them.

Your ears pricked up at the mention of the old Zeltron ambassador; apparently, he hadn’t been caught yet.  There was an amused suggestion that he had fled tail between his legs, and was half way to the outer-rim, and then another strangely familiar accent adding a further opinion. 

It was unwise to bait Ren, the plucked insults pulling at the strings of his failure to catch the man.  Besides you it was Hux, not Ren who stiffened, bridled by the insult to his consort.  Intrigued, you raised your eyes and through lowered lashes; you dared to sneak a peek at the man, who would so boldly risk his wrath, when so many others had not dared. 

Instantly you wished you hadn’t.  The small movement would have gone unnoticed on most men, but judging by the cold eyes, that roamed your body; Hux had learnt both his perceptiveness and observational skills, well from this man.  The colour was faded from his hair, leaving it a silvery white, and his face aged; but only one man would have dared to talk to his Emperor in that way. His father.

Openly the older man sneered at you, and never had you felt so naked, or so dirty for what they had made you.  It was somehow worse than Ren’s constant mind probe; at least that had been an honest admission of what you felt.  Brendol Hux’s gaze lowered, and you paled to a sickening white that better displayed your blush. So sure, by the leer he gave you, that he had so much more than an inkling of what was under your clothing. Of what Ren was doing to you and on who’s orders he did it. 

“Perhaps if you, spent less time between your whore’s legs; you would be less distracted, and would have found that traitor of an ambassador by now.”

The comment was not loud, nor was it threatening to anyone.  Just spoken with the crass certainty of a man’s arrogance.  The tone probably that of a man used to being followed, the Commandant was simply dealing with his son.  Shuddering, you tried drawing back on yourself, to make yourself invisible to this exchange of power, stopped by an invisible warning pinch to your clit. 

That had you more disbelieving than the confrontation, that he would keep up teasing you when obviously furious with Hux’s father.  The circle surrounding Hux had already been small; but now it dwindled to just the four of you, as in dribs and drabs the others left.  Hux held back any attempts to defend himself, and you your whimpers, waiting until the other guests were out of ear shot, before confronting his father.

“I know exactly where Veers is; it is simply easier to wait for him to break cover, than to waste time and man power seeking him out.”

You knew one of you would wear stripes for this argument between father and son, and you doubted it would be the senior party.  Brendol Hux took another swig of his drink, before addressing his son, hissing low.

“It makes you look weak!”

That did stop Ren’s assault on you, and the low growl behind you, was the first warning.  The second a scrunching of leather, and heavy cloth drawn aside, telling you; he had drawn back his cloak to take a hold, of the pommel of his sabre.  From the corner of your eye, you could see him; the realignment of muscles telling you he was ready to strike, ready to kill for his Emperor.   

“Call your dog off Armitage; we both know even you are above patricide.”

Only Hux’s father would have then had the guts, and the security to walk away.  You watched him go, trying to control the shivering that threatened to wrack your body.  Blinking back both the tears, and the fear at the anger he left behind.  Floundering in a sea of worry, you wondered how best to placate him without forcing him into early retaliation.  You were saved the hassle when he grabbed your arm.  His fingers digging so deeply into the flesh, that you had to grit your teeth against crying out; that would only have further angered him. 

“Get me a drink, and then get back on that podium.”

He was furious, and strands of were interwoven in the hissed order.  To the others he may appear calm, but you knew he was struggling to contain that fury in public.  Dropping what you hoped passed as a curtsy, you hurried off to select a drink from a passing servant.  He had failed to be specific in his requirements, and this was no time to ask for further clarification.  So, you selected one of each; a glass of the amber spirits, and another of sparkling wine.  Carefully you waited to see which he appeared eager to take, assuming you could discard the other. 

He chose the spirits; probably more for the stronger alcohol than the taste.  He took as sip and you took it as your cue to return to what had been his chair.  His hand caught your arm; the fingers pressing painfully against the first set of finger prints.  The hand holding his glass reached out towards the wine flute, his index finger tapping against it. His voice dipped again to a more controlled icy calm, in your ear. 

“Drink that, and when it’s gone get another.  Don’t think I haven’t noticed your refusal to drink.”

You had gotten away with it for so long, you had slipped into the stupid belief that the control of your bladder had only been in jest.  Now you began to uncomfortably suspect a more darker purpose.  Swallowing you murmured your ascent, trying not to dwell on the already present need to urinate and the memory of how Ren had desecrated you, that first time.  Instead stepping onto the wooden dais, and kneeling on the pillows next to his chair.  He wouldn’t be allowing you to go anytime soon, and you wouldn’t be stupid enough to ask yet.  Your only hope was to slowly sip at the wine.  Whilst you knew he wanted your bladder full, you doubted he also wanted you pissed too.  You moved only once; to replace your glass.  Sipping the second glass at a much slower pace until Hux returned to his makeshift throne.             

You had been watching him carefully; so, you knew he had replaced his glass more than once.  It was from the return of Ren’s attentions, that you knew he was relaxing, Ren wouldn’t have dared to restart that without knowing Hux’s mood.  Carefully he sat, running a defiant stare over the room before scooping you to sit sideways on his lap. 

“Look at them. Every woman here hates you, and every man wishes they were balls deep in your pretty little cunt; regardless of what you are.”

You could smell the liquor on his breath, as he pulled your face to look at him.  Tilting your face so he could watch the discomfort in it.  His glass pressed to your lips, pouring more than a generous sip into your mouth.  You swallowed it, eyes watering from the burn in your throat, as it pooled warmth into your belly.  For all he openly displayed none of it, you knew from the boast in his voice he was high; on a mixture of whiskey and power.  He laughed at your splutter, running his thumb under your lip. Catching the drip that escaped on it, feeding it back into your mouth.  There was the gentle fluttering of his cock as you sucked off the smoky liquid, his eyes narrowing in pleasure as you flicked your tongue over it.  It was all just another show of your training, as instinctive as it was to breathe now. But as his eyes darkened you knew he took pleasure, that the audience didn’t know that.  To them you were probably just resistance scum, brought to heel by his cock.

“Even my father for all his posturing and preening wants you, something else he can’t have.”    

His voice had deepened to a rough huskiness, and it wasn’t difficult to follow his gaze.  Between both Huxes there was a clear battle for power, and the Emperor was keen to show how much of it he had.  He kept his gaze firmly on his father as his lips came to your neck, a most vulgar display of possessiveness.

“Should I make him watch as I take you Pet?”   

You were horrified at such an idea, and only caught yourself at the last moment from demanding he didn’t.  Any show of vulnerability would give him a weak spot to exploit, but who were you kidding; he could tell by the way you stiffened in his arms; you didn’t like that idea.  You hadn’t realised his attentions had fully returned to you, until he forced yours back to him.  His gloating was making you nervous, you already knew you were hardly in a room full of friends.  But did he have to put you at risk, by trying to pry the scab off an old feud between father and son? It was garnering an attention you didn’t want, from a man who clearly wouldn’t hesitate to try and take what he wanted, even from his Emperor.  As he insisted on dangling you before them like a child with his prised toy; squirming from both pent up need and your filling bladder, on his lap.

“Or I could just let Ren finish what he started now. Upset them all, by letting you cum on my lap.”

That was a threat; he would be more likely to carry to fruition.  You gasped eyes wide, and dared to plead a humble no, as you shook your head.  The stroking’s at your sex, increased in both pressure and speed, a slow steady strumming that although slowly; would lead your body, where he wanted you.  The gardens were suddenly too hot, and the open space that had seemed too large, now not big enough. 

A better man would have at least let you hide your face and held it so that he could watch. You didn’t dare look away from Hux, studying the darks of his eyes, the softening of his lips; as he took delicate swigs of his drink.  He kept his face neutral, so damned proper and correct, hardly suitable for a man who was currently instigating sexual torture against you.  A single tap of his for finger to the glass side, was the signal to Ren to stop.          

“But that would just give your body what it wants, wouldn’t it Pet?

He unceremoniously dropped you to the floor, and suddenly all eyes really were on you.  They seemed to return like carrion; desperate to pick over the bones of your dismissal. You were so relieved it took you a moment longer than normal to process your mortification.  The sheen of perspiration, too unlikely in the heat to be anything other than arousal.  It wouldn’t have taken Ren much longer to stroke you to completion, and a couple of well placed strokes, would have had you there almost instantly. 

The clue was in the careful phrasing of Hux’s taunt.  He had never intended to bring you to orgasm before his visitors; just to tease you with the possibility. Not that he wouldn’t have hesitated to do so, if that had been his plan. The visitors present, were just an addition to create audience for you, as he took another chance to prove his mastery of both you and Ren. It killed two birds with one stone. Subtly drawing you into playing his latest game. Whilst making it very clear to all present; he would not be held by their idea of what was propper. Letting all know he had placed himself, above their codes of practice.

Another drink was placed into your hand, and the instruction came to drink; this one you tossed back, before accepting the black glove that proffered you it.  So, sure that being drunk, and desperate was far easier for you to deal with now; than being sober. 

“Ren; take her back to her room, have her ready.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains watersports again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone had a good holiday. Alas no time off for me, I work in a job that doesn't give time off over Christmas. I still had a fairly decent time, but it had taken it's toll on my spare time. I have so many half finished chapters, them more ideas that I refuse to let myself start yet, whilst I have other stuff on the go.

It was a much longer walk back to your room from the courtyard; than it was to Hux’s office. The possessive press of Ren’s arm to your waist, made you want to hurry it all the more, somehow feeling sullied by such a little touch.  Nothing he had done this evening was as such physical, he’d not had the pleasure of his skin on your intimate areas; but it still left you feeling dirty.

To anyone who didn’t know better, you would look like a pair of lovers; him gently taking you back home.  But there was a taunt behind Ren’s fingers skimming the tops of the metal bands at your waist.  Not a simple act of affection, but him ensuring you could never take a moments refuge, inside your head.  The guests may be under some illusion but the servants and guards you passed, knew exactly what it was; Ren’s display of his Emperors ownership of you. 

You had been brought from you pen for the evening, like some prized Cosset.  Decked in a display of Hux’s wealth and then displayed for all to see; and now you were being returned to the fold.  A warning to those who would resist him, of what the First Order had achieved.  A display of his power; none would dare tell him to stop. 

Ren was in no hurry to return you quickly to your chamber.  His massive legs taking seemingly smaller and smaller steps, prolonging the wait for the toilet. Increasing the pressure, swelling in your bladder. 

You weren’t that far off needing to go when you left the courtyard, and the heaviness in your stomach grew, with the need to go.  And although you could comfortably hold it a little longer, you would hold out begging until your need was urgent.  They enjoyed you begging too much, for you to give into it that quickly, there was no way you were about to make anything more pleasurable for them than you had to. 

The alcohol relaxed you, as much as it increased your need to void your bladder. The flush of it blooming like blotted red ink across your cheeks; but it was still a long way from your desired oblivion.  You had begun to wonder how much alcohol it would take to numb yourself, would it be enough to kill you also?  For so long now you had wanted to be drunk?  To be as unaware and as uncaring of your surroundings, as your captors were.  To be drowned in numbness and you had come so close. Enough to make your thoughts less crisp and clear; but not nearly close enough to the euphoric oblivion you sought.  Never enough to even for a spilt second forget what you had become. 

Arriving to the chamber, he steered you into it.  The mechanical lock reading his fingerprints and DNA, despite the black gloves he always wore.  Four handmaidens stood ready, to attend to you, at Ren’s approach the lead came forwards ready to assist; only to be curtly dismissed for the evening. 

You watched them go, as you stood in the complicated wrappings of your dress, their services clearly unneeded. Their faces all neutral; apart from the ugly sneer, of the lead Handmaiden.  That you had to wonder at; what exactly did she find so distasteful?  Because it certainly couldn’t be what the men did to you, she was complicit in it. 

“Astrid.”

You looked up at Ren, just as the lead handmaiden turned back in acknowledgement to Ren.  She  refused to look at you, her iron cold gaze looking through you.  Making you stand closer to Ren. 

“See that she isn’t disturbed until morning, and then gently Astrid.”

 

A flash of reluctance, made you quickly summarise she didn’t like you knowing her name.  Astrid wouldn’t be stupid enough to be cross at Ren giving her instructions for your care.  She spoke her reply with strained neutrality, bobbing a farewell curtsy. 

“Yes, Lord Ren.” 

Your wishes for the gentle treatment your body, was as inconsequential to her, as they were to your captors.  Astrid cared for you not one iota, and made it very clear; even before her betters.  But Ren was her master, and having spoken a command she would obey. 

You watched her go, wondering why she hated you so much.  Was it for the moans they would force from your throat, was she envious of your treatment?  If so she was welcome to take your place, she was neither old nor unattractive, just mean spirited and petty towards you.  Did she find your screams as you came, an admission of your enjoyment of having their attentions thrust onto you?  Was it then that you protested your captivity, or that she enjoyed seeing you squirm, like the Resistance scum you were to her?    

There was still no indication to kneel yet.  Nor was Ren rushing; meaning you had plenty of time yet, before Hux wanted you.  So after to the removal of your attendants, Ren had begun a slow removal of all your clothing.  It was odd to have Ren undress you; his touch far more lingering than your handmaidens, but somehow far less invasive. 

Of course, he took his time removing his gloves first to ensure you felt the brush of his naked fingertips.  Stroking along flesh both bare, and clothed.  Leaving invisible trails of nerves in his wake.  Everything made of fabric removed, layer by layer, and set neatly aside.  Fingers taking their time to search for the straps and closings, drawing out the act to torture you. 

He had even taken the time to cut the fabric pair of panties, from you.  Pulling a narrow stiletto blade from a hidden pocket in his sleeve.  Deftly sliding the cold, blackened iron blade, under the metal plating.  Using it to hook them; bringing the sharp edge dangerously close to your fragile skin.  It was one more thing to make you tremble, inducing a level of fear that again risked your full bladder spilling.  Having you held unnaturally still for him, as the material gave under the blade.   

The panties; he had examined in detail.  Holding them up to the light, drawing attention to the mess he had made of you.  Ensuring you both blushed hotly, and stammered accusatory denials to them.  

His tongue poked from his mouth, the thick organ flicking the length of the crotch.  Swiping over the band of moisture, that smeared across the slightly thicker cloth of the gusset.  His dark irises blown to nothing more than tiny slivers of coffee; around a black centre.  He inhaled your scent on them, a low growl, keeping you fixated on him. 

With Ren, you had always been able to act up.  He allowed for more than the infallible obedience Hux wanted.  He enjoyed the struggle and incredulous at his behaviour; you scowled at him.

“Do you have to? Urgh you really are disgusting; do you know that.”

It wasn’t a question, he knew your opinion and it was hardly the first time you had called him that.  It provoked another smirk from him, after all it could hardly be considered an insult to him.  His eyes danced with unfair amusement, as he gripped your hair; waving the tangled mass of ripped fabric under your nose.

“Don’t you want to see them Pet?”

You didn’t want them anywhere near you.  He kept his grip in your hair, stepping behind you; holding you tight against his vast chest.

“Perhaps a taste then Pet?”

The grip at your crown tightened and as you opened your mouth to yell in protest the pain; the panties, were balled up and pushed into your mouth.  Ren moving quick and having you mouth full; than you could think to protest to the gag.  At first you went to spit them out, stopping as a warning look had you pausing in your startled attempts. 

Slowly you allowed your mouth to relax around the foreign object, trying not to swallow.  The smell of your arousal dominated your palate, and you refused to swallow the pooling saliva until it threatened to escape your mouth.  Ren watched you closely as you did, his thumb running the hollow under your lip; smoothing the runs of your lip gloss.    

You stood humiliated before him; trembling with both fury and fear under his touch.  Not a stich on, except for the silver you wore at your head, and groin.  The wealth Hux decked at your neck.  Silently you endured it as he explored, the sight, studying you with both hands and eyes.  Drinking in the sight of you; helpless and naked before him, as he pulled your mouth to his.  Pressing his lips to yours in a closed mouthed kiss, that did nothing but remind you of the lace weight in your mouth. 

Actual bonds couldn’t have held you as tightly; as the prison, they’d built of terror inside your mind.  Fear kept you from fighting him off, when his lips tickled feather light kisses against your shoulder.  His mouth hungrily trailing over, your collar and towards each breast.  Working the kisses heavier, adding flicks of his tongue as he moved in circles towards your nipples.  His hand slipping down between your shoulder blades, to press at your waist steading you to his attentions.  He drew a loud breath; pulling first your left then your right nipple into his mouth.  Suckling on them intermediately, until you gave the quiet gasp of pleasure, he had been searching for. 

There was a pinch soon after he disengaged his mouth, and you looked down to see a silver clip holding your nipple.  Different, more ornate than the ones he had used before; when he took you before Veers.  It was tighter and not quite painful yet.  After some fidgeting, to get it to sit right and toying from Ren, another was added to your other nipple.  There were several chains strung between them, all silver though each one engraved with the same scroll work that adorned all your silver.  Somehow, he had looped it into your collar, artfully falling in delicate tracery over your breasts.  He pointed you to a mirror, holding your chin high, letting you see how the silver work lay on your body. 

Again, they had managed to make the bizarre and obscene, look instead exotic and beautiful on you.  The silverwork placed just so; the clamps holding your nipples in place, as though waiting in offering for someone to taste them.  The silver plates around your hips and groin, as flattering as they conformed to your shape, as they were practical to Hux’s intentions for them.  Another time and place, another lover and you would have enjoyed seeing yourself like this.       

Fingers trailed up your stomach, pressing just below your bellybutton, his eyes closing as he cupped your stomach.  His huge hand easily able to hold your entire abdomen in it, and pull you back to the warmth of his chest.  It would have been almost a comforting action, if it wasn’t that you knew he was doing.  It wasn’t that you could feel anything yet, his action possibly indicative of him using the Force on you.  But you just knew where this session was going, he was checking your bladder.  The heel of his hand pressing down.  Not enough to cause any real strain yet; just enough to add to the existing burn of pressure at your abdomen.

A little bit of you wanted to snap at him, to tell him to leave you be.  But most of you was too weary to find the strength to start an argument; or deal with the fallout.    

“Very good Pet.”

You shouldn’t have found the praise so comforting; but better a kiss than a blow.  Of course, he had been feeling for more than your physical reaction to him.  Not just the swell of your bladder, when he dug the heel of his hand into your distended tummy.  He wanted to be sure how you would react, and if it was to be badly, to coax that out of you before Hux arrived.  Closing your eyes against the rising tide of nervousness, you ignored the sudden and increasing urge to let go on your bladder.  Remembering that Hux had only advised not going, he had not said it was impossible to go, and if you did; you would sit in it.  The idea of that was both incredibly gross and completely mortifying to you, and probably not his intended result. So instead you tightened your bladder to his probing, trusting yourself not to let go.  Ren’s hand removed itself; and stepping back around you, he ordered you to kneel whilst he undressed himself.

You did, thankful for the thick rug he had placed you on, softening the pressure against your knees.  It also gave you an unfettered view of the bands around his cock, the way it looped to a metal band at his hips; keeping it in place. 

“Yes Pet?”

There was patience in the rhetoric mumbling of your name.  With your mouth stuffed; you couldn’t answer him.  But then again, it had not really been a question.  

He had simply become aware of you studying him, trying to understand the device that he was wearing.  Although his question was not the bite or taunt you had been expecting; you panicked at not being able to answer, lowering your eyes to his feet.  Surprised when instead he stroked your hair, petting you as he waited on you raising your head to him. Quickly explaining the device and its effects to you, understanding more through his Force adeptness than the average human.

“It stops me from getting hard. It doesn’t hurt me, it just aches when I get excited.”

He listed further answers, to the questions you hadn’t asked, and the more you understood; the more you relaxed.  Explaining that whilst he didn’t always wear the chastity belt; he came when his Emperor commanded.  That even if he was alone with you, he did so only with Emperor Hux’s permission, that he regarded each orgasm as belonging to his master wherever he took it. 

His next comment was a jest.  But one that still made you ears burn with humiliation, and a strict reminder of why you were foolish for letting your guard down around him. 

“And yes Pet, I can be trusted not to piss myself in mine.”

You were done explaining, of protesting your innocence at the earlier accident, though of course you wanted to.  It was a pointless waste of breath, and just feeding his ego.  They both wanted you afraid, they thrived on it, and if you lost control over this; it would just be an additional victory for them.    

Suddenly Ren knelt, in a graceful genuflexion, and there was the slow tread of footsteps, the creaking of shoe leather.  Ren had already dropped his gaze to his knees, his poise nowhere near the grovelling level of yours, but still an obeisance for his lover.  He was taller, more powerful and at any moment things didn’t go his way, he could take control.  You however were tiny compared to both men, insignificant next to the power they wielded, you had no control here.  Ren had gifted his submission to Hux; you had yours torn asunder from you, every day they kept you. 

You snuck a glance at Hux, through lowered lashes.  If he had drunk more since you had been dismissed, he still didn’t show it.  But then even to the other revellers; his actions hadn’t looked unusual or out of control for him.  In fact, as always quite the opposite; even pulling you onto his lap, would be seen as nothing odd to those not privy to his select inner circle.  Even now his clothing was still pristinely white, starched to perfection.  His hair still combed back tidy, not a strand out of place. 

The feet padded closer to your prone form. The shiny black leather coming into focus, just in front of your knees, before his fingers reached for you; tucking a strand of hair behind your hear.  The fingers continued down the outer shell of your ear, to the back of your neck; petting you like you would a frightened animal.      

“Are you frightened of me Pet?”

Silently you nodded, grateful you were unable to speak; your eyes lowered.  He huffed unpleasantly, at you, this was annoying him.  It wasn’t enough for him; that you were on your knees visibly trembling for him.  He wanted to hear it in your voice when it wavered, cracking in that fear too.  Realising you would have to push yourself to offer him that; or face the consequences, quietly you gave a broken spirited, and heavily muffled offering of; _‘yes_ ’, not forgetting to end on his honorific.

He indulged himself in a tiny smirk, deducing at once what had kept you from speaking.  Clutching your jaw in his hand, he hooked his thumb into your mouth.  Pressing down on it, to show him the contents.    

“I know you are Pet, I can practically taste it on you.”

The hands pressed down at the back of your head, and when you floundered at guessing his meaning, Ren took over.  Using the Force to press your face down to the toe of his boots.  It was a safe guess to realise he wanted you to kiss them, and you did.  First one toe and then the other boot, tasting the faint earthiness of the garden, and shoe polish when you ran your lips across it.  This pleased him, though it was barely noticeable in the tone of his next offer, it was there.

“More scared of me than, my subjects?”

How could you answer this and were you even permitted to try?  How could you compare his touch to another you had never had?  There wasn’t a single part of you though, that didn’t think for one moment he wouldn’t stoop to sending you; to someone who wouldn’t use you unkindly.  But you highly doubted, he would share you, with someone who would treat you kindly, and with respect.   You shook your head, continuing to work on his boots; in the vain hope he would stop.  The trail of saliva no doubt dulling the polish, but in this he allowed a tarnish to his appearance.  It was a fair exchange for, him to enjoy what you were put through.

“What about my Father, he seemed very interested; Shall I gift you to him.”

The fear pooled instantly, dropping low and heavy into your stomach; adding to the weight of water already there.  You forgot yourself; spitting out the panties to uncouthly yell your ‘no’ in both protest, and a plea. 

Brendol Hux despite his age; seemed to somehow lack some of his son’s refinery.  With Hux junior you knew exactly what you got.  His father was an unknown quantity, and the unknown was far scarier to you, if Hux whispered danger; his father screamed it. 

Instantly you regretted yourself, you should never have allowed yourself to react so strongly.  You should have just kept going with what you were doing, of utilized the makeshift gag as a reason to stay silent.  Hesitantly, your fingers reached out to raise the discarded cloth.  Unsure if offering them to Hux would count as an act of contrition, or if placing them back into your mouth was more the required solution.  Were you now to be given to him, in retribution, a punishment for forgetting yourself.  Forgetting what you were, and daring to demand something of him. 

The hand that touched your cheek was not the blow you expected.  Though you still flinched under it, opening your mouth ready for the bundled lace, he replaced.  He was pleased with this, both your obedience and the open admission; that you at least wanted him more so than his father.

“You would rather stay with me Pet?”

Mutely, you nodded, leaning into his touch, in what you hoped would be seen as an act of submission.  Eyes wide as saucers in your realisation that again, he had played his hand and won.  Somehow, he had made himself not only your only choice, but also the preferable one.  He tilted his head towards Ren, an unspoken request for knowledge, he no doubt provided.

“Shall we see, how far will you go to keep your place here with me then Pet?” 

It was spoken aloud, as another taunt to your broken spirit as much as to see you struggle with what they might take from you.  You had wholly given into the conviction; that Ren and Hux needed no words to communicate.  Hux’s eyes brightened almost pleasantly, in a smile that although never touched his lips; was warmer than any previous look you had given. 

It wasn’t much, and a decision you told yourself, had completely derived from fear; but your choice pleased him.  He was happy, that you wanted him more so than his father, and somehow that was a victory for both of you to utilize.  More correctly put, you clarified in your head, half hopeful that Ren was feeding those thoughts back to Hux; you were petrified of both Hux’s.  But marginally less so of your Emperor, who thankfully wielded the power; but of course he had to know that.

The look he gave, fluttered briefly to something darker; before he took it back under control.

“Well then Pet, please me now and I will keep you.” 

You nodded, glad for the safety of the neutrality of his voice.  For the first time, you tried pushing a mental offer of submission, to Ren.  One that he received and was happy to verbally replay back to his Emperor.

“She is, both sorry and willing.”

Was he in some way looking out for you, or selfishly ensuring the scene would not be halted for your misdemeanour.  Delicately you leant forwards into a low bow, pressing your forehead to the floor in thanks for Ren’s help, and Hux’s acceptance of it.  Closing your eyes as you brought your head around, to kiss the toes of Hux’s boots.  It was what they wanted of you wasn’t it? A sign of submission, the same act Ren had forced out of you.

There was no guidance from either man, no confirmation of right or wrong doing.  Expectantly you waited, your eyes screamed terror, as you looked back up at him. What had you agreed to, and had it been worth it?  Or was it just in time to add to the terror of your situation, that they would make you admit this; then discard you? 

Hux gave the order for Ren to stand, pulling him from the floor and you, in a marked show of the pecking order; Ren was his, submissive, but you were his slave.  Slowly Hux tilted Ren’s chin; bringing his mouth towards his. Hux’s eyes never leaving you, as Ren closed them in surrender to the kiss.  Both men humming out their enjoyment, of the kiss, the intimacy they shared.    

For all the differences in their stations, the roles played; they, were as equals here.  You looked between them; aware that every time they looked back at you, it was to devour you.  You were prey, these two the hunters that at best, only stalked your nightmares. 

Hux gave a whispered command in Ren’s ear, before removing the metal device from his groin.  Almost instantly his cock hardened, angrily throbbing its protests at being restrained for so long.

“Shall we play a game Pet?”

Again, you were reduced to supplying a voiceless nod.  It was neither your permission, or your acceptance that he sought.  He required neither, just a niggling reminder to you, that you had willingly agreed to partake in tonight’s game, with them. 

It was Hux that scared you the most, Ren little more than a willing puppet in these games.  It was what he did to you, what they could make you experience; that you were most petrified of.  The way he could drag from your treacherous body, more pleasure than you’d ever felt.  Couldn’t they have taken their own, and left you? Why was it they continuously forced it onto you, why did your body have to be so willing, so secretly desperate for their touch?  It was more than you had ever wanted him to give you.  At first you just didn’t want them to hurt you, now you wondered how to compare a broken limb, to the damage they had wrought you.

“Pet.”

You had been too long in thought.  Hurriedly you looked expectantly up at Hux, in amending obedience.  Waiting for the orders he would give, praying the prize of safety, was worth the cost Hux would extract from you.      

His face stilled again, to neutrality and the hand slid into your hair, twisting into a pile of silken tresses and cold silver.  The index finger twirling around one silver chain, the one that ran between both nipples.  Both actions hurt, and you whimpered; following its lead to pull you to standing, letting him kiss you. 

It was the one at your nipples that worried you; the line of fire leading straight to your groin, twinging in longing.  Clutching at him, you floundered in the sea of confusion he wrought from you.  Desperately trying to ground yourself.

Repeatedly he gave gentle tugs and twists to the chains.  Working his mouth across your bare shoulder and up onto your neck, sucking at the flesh behind your ear.  Leaving you glassy eyed; and reluctantly panting at his attentions to you.

“Your body was made to be used for my pleasure. You respond so willingly Pet; look.”

He turned you to one of the immense transparent steel mirrors, your bare skin pressed to his clothed chest. You whimpered against him; the sweat sheen on your skin, making the smooth wool finish of his tunic feel almost unbearably rough against your back.  He was right, despite barely touching him, your body already wanted to unravel beneath him; luckily your mind held out. 

Unable to protest or to unwillingly acquiesce, you reached back again to grip him.  Clutching at bunches of his tunic in your fists, more than a little amazed that he hadn’t removed your hands from his clothing yet.  His hands skimmed the sides of your breasts, cupping them as he brushed his thumbs over the sensitive nipples.  You blushed; pulling your suddenly wide-eyed gaze from your reflection, to bury your heated cheek against him.  You were gone, the alcohol he had cleverly fed you, allowed you to settle into the fear of reprisal; should you not reciprocate his touch.  

A low chuckle brought you back.  Hux stood watching you; his fingers pulled from you; to hook your chin, turning your face so he could watch.

“So, our game Pet?”

That brought you back, the splash of fear bringing your desire back into focus.  He shot you a shark’s grin; full of teeth and threatening to destroy you, as Ren once more came into focus hard and ready slotting himself in front of you.  Two sets of hands now groped you, as Ren lowered himself to his knees, expectantly before you.   

“You fuck Ren, make him cum inside you.  Convince both of us that you want it, and I’ll consider it a show of your willingness.”

You gulped, as Hux fished into his shirt; bringing forth a silver chain.  An unexpected shove had you reaching forwards; palms splayed flat against your reflection.  Hux gave a quick growl of your name; making you turn to look back at him.  He held a key in his hand; scrolled with silver work.  At last you thought with some relief; you were to be released from your metal cage.  The key fitted into the lock with ease; and with a click the apparatus fell to the floor.

“I can show you images of my father’s pets, if that would help motivate you.”

You didn’t want to see, incredulous that he would even offer.  Blinking away the prickling at your eyes, you shook your head, taking slow, deep steady breaths to quell the rising tide of panic.  You would do this, you would have to do it; the alternative was worse.   

The brush of naked fingertips at your temple, was not the soothing action Ren meant it to be.  It instead had your muscles springing ready to bolt, stopped by the hands encircling your wrists.  They brought them smoothly to him, palms pressed to his bare chest; as you took deep shuddering breaths.  This was somehow the ultimate act of betrayal; and for one heart stopping moment you considered refusing him.  How could you possibly make it believable?  Swallowing down both acid, and bile you shakily moved to your knees before Ren, pushing him onto his back as you climbed over his chest.

He thankfully moved quickly, and without fighting you; allowing you to straddle his hips, gripping at your waist.   The need to wee had never gone, and with your legs splayed it was harder to hold it, you hated to ask, and knew the likely answer, but you did any way; almost stumbling over your request. 

“No.”

The barked refusal drew your attention back to Hux, reminding you who was the powerhouse in this relationship.  He had sat himself on the edge of your bed, death-stick in hand, casually watching the movement below him.

“Fuck him Pet, and if you last that long; then I will allow you the privacy of using the refresher.”

He took a drag from the death stick, leaning over his crossed legs to watch you, as he made another offer to send you to his father, promising it would be his last before he carried out the threat.  Realising there was no way out, you swung your hips; reaching down to seat yourself on Ren’s, thankfully hard cock. He gave a loud splutter of a growl, before relaying verbally to Hux how wet you were.  How much tighter your walls pulsed around his cock, with a full bladder.

Rolling your hips, you experimented, trying to find a rhythm that both was comfortable to you, and effective on him.  Floundering in your own inexperience and insecurities; until at last you found one you could work with. 

At first, he watched you, hovering above him.  His eyes dark with a feral hunger; fixated on the swaying of your chest, the jangling of the silver draping your smooth breasts.  It was mortifying, but an effective movement on both of you, your clit grinding against him; you would not risk Hux’s wrath. 

Closing your eyes, helped concentrate on what you were doing; or more appropriately what you were trying not to do.  It worked, gritting your teeth, over and over you thrust down on him.  Ignoring the tightness, across your abdomen; finding it easier to focus on the tingling at your swollen button.  Until Ren’s cruel, nimble hands sought to press against you, rubbing the heel over your tummy, pressing down on your bladder. 

Silently your eyes pleaded; too focused on Ren and what he tried to force from you, to notice Hux moving from the bed.  Soundlessly he walked over you, pulling at you hair, to force you more upright on Ren.  Holding you in place whilst his spare hand easily, dealt with the fastenings on his trousers. 

Naïvely you assumed he wanted you in some way to pleasure him.  That the fumbling withdrawal of his cock; would be to add it to Ren’s or otherwise use one of your vacant hole.  Therefore, the shock, and indignity of the first tinkling’s of piss against the back of your neck stilled your hips. 

Ren had as always anticipated his masters’ move, and your reaction.  Your legs locked into place unable to give into the impulsive reaction, to scramble from him and quickly you remembered the cost of losing Hux’s game.  Ignoring the ice blue eyes, peering down at you, you focused on Ren; resuming your grinding; as Hux drew out the humiliating act.  The stream, of straw fluid trickled slowly down your spine, slow and steadily as he peed.  Dripping between your ass cheeks, and onto Ren’s balls. 

Clearly, he enjoyed this treatment, of you, judging from the lidded way his eyes looked down at your desperate form.  You however did not; though you made sure to kiss him, when he leaned down to do so afterwards.  It was somehow more reprehensible than when Ren had peed inside you in the Throne room.  Then at least your rape, and the theft of your innocence were the more hurtful events.  Now the smell clung to you, the lukewarm liquid cooling, against the sweat bathed, heat flushed skin.  He knelt behind you, somehow managing to avoid the puddle of urine, sinking into the rug beneath both you and Ren. 

His cock was hardening, the tip fluttering against your ass when your hips swung back.  His fingers pressed down your body, stroking over the tops of your arms, and onto your breasts.  Tweaking what were rapidly becoming over sensitive nipples.  Bringing forth a groan from his lover beneath you, as your cunt twinged aggressively around his cock.  It earnt you a growl from the man behind you, who disregarded the mess of sweat and drying piss at your back, to press closer to you.  Running sharp teeth up the shell of your ear, as he murmured praise for you, wrapping an arm around your waist.  Flicking Ren’s hands out of the way with a bored sigh, splaying his own across your lower abdomen.

The presses he made at your stomach were firmer than Ren’s; not meant to be teasing at all, but indicative of his intentions.  He pressed kisses to your cheek, eyes opened as he watched the building of red across the pale, breathless skin of your face.  The tightening of your pelvic muscles against Hux’s treatment, was thankfully having the right effect on Ren.  He loudly sang his praise for how tight it made you, begging Hux to repeat his action.  He did; his groans, and the slapping of your wet sex, against his hips ringing from the chamber walls, as your own racing pulse filled your ears.  

By now you had gathered, that the real game Hux had signed you up for wasn’t fucking Ren, he wanted to see what Ren had told him about earlier.  He was trying to induce the same shame filled look, you had given Ren when you wet yourself.  Humming, he rolled the heel of his hand over the swell of your bladder, pressing deeper as your muscles burnt with control.  It was far from inevitable that you would lose control soon, but pride wouldn’t let you give in.  Your body taught against the rising need to let go; it would be soon.

The anguished cry of disbelief was still as shocking to you, when you did though.  The relief of your empty bladder, eclipsed by the humiliation, of the urine splattering over the hips you were forced in place over Ren.  It fell in golden rivulets, onto the floor darkening the bottoms of Hux’s otherwise pristine clothing.  Neither man chastised you for the stalling of your hips.  Hux no doubt too taken with the indecent act he had just made you perform, his hand pushing you forwards, as Ren took hold of your hips.  Replacing your thrusts with his own, fucking himself through his immediate orgasm; pumping, rope after rope of cum inside of you.  Arching his back as behind you Hux laughed in wicked delight at your horror, at the mess.    

Ren was done with you, Hux was not.  Therefore, it was with the well-practiced air of the fearfully obedient, that you followed the guiding push of his hands.  Laying yourself out over Ren’s chest, as Hux thrust himself in replacement of Ren inside you.  His thrusts were sharp and precise, keeping his hand in pressed down between your shoulder blades to keep you in place. 

Selfishly he used you, though you told yourself you couldn’t care less about the lack of climax for yourself as he came and withdrew himself.  Sobbing into Ren’s chest as you bit down on your hand to calm yourself.  Surprised all the more then; when lightly freckled hands lifted you from Ren.  His hidden strength carrying you with ease into a waiting tub of clean water.     

          

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, to everyone who's kept up with this. I am so sorry for the sporadic updates, I've been so busy.  
> Thank you so much for the comments, the kudos; it really helps to know what people think, how they're taking to it.

For the first time since you had been ushered into Ren and Hux’s presence, they slept with you.  Not that they just fucked you, but fell asleep in your presence.  Something that you were supposed to have joined them in.  It was odd to lie there next to them, somehow as invasive as the sex to have them here.  This was supposed to be, the one bit of your day that should have been yours. 

Now it was stolen from you.  The space you should have had private, to seep in peace was dominated by the two naked bodies entwined at your side.  Their cuddled forms, another taunt to the closeness you were denied, but so desperately wanted.  You were all alone in the world, and for all the harsh front these two portrayed to the world outside, they were very close to one another, very much in love. You however, were just a distraction, an unloved broken toy.     

Sniffling you rolled over onto your side, ignoring the scorching heat that emanated from their bodies.  Hoping that by ignoring them, pretending you were alone; you could sleep.  Forgetting Ren’s large form curled protectively around Hux’s slender form.  Ren’s skin pale, but scattered with dark beauty spots and scars, contrasting with the milky white translucency of Hux’s freckled flesh.  Hux as always, the centre of the room.  Placed by Ren in the position of both power and safety.

Sleep though wasn’t just slow to come, it was completely none existent in its arrival. The worries of the day, and your possible failure with Ren keeping it from you, as you tossed and turned.  A gentle snore, and whimper from Ren, seemed to stir Hux to sleepy wakefulness.  His lax frame twisting in Ren’s arms, reaching out for you, to bring your back flush to his silk clad chest. 

Stiffly you froze as he locked you between his arms, frowning at his obvious and unusual mistake.  The surprisingly incorrect Hux, nuzzled up to the back of your neck; placing a lone kiss there.  It was too affectionate for him to have realised it was you.  Who then was he dreaming of? Did he think it Ren, or was it another of his concubines?  Someone that mattered enough, to gain his affections, unlike you, who he dragged through hell every day. 

Shuddering in a silent sob, you did your best to ignore that line of thoughts, pushing them away.  He was a powerful man, and you shouldn’t be envious of the kindnesses he bestowed on others, they were likely pitfall traps.  You would be still skating on thin ice, it was only a matter of time before he argued Ren had fucked himself to completion, not you.  It would leave you open to more threats of being gifted to his father, and whilst you had worked out Hux didn’t want to do that, you knew enough not to force his hand.  It would be with reluctance, he would share you, but he had made his threat, and would keep it up.  There was no room for mistakes to be made; he would, all be it unwillingly, be forced follow up with that threat.

Whomever he thought you to be, he had assumed your tears were of frustration, not loneliness.  His eyes closed in the gloomy half-light, his long pale lashes, reflecting the moonlight from the above window.  The hand then that lifted the hem of your nightdress, were as equally out of character for him. His hands stroking your legs, dipping between your thighs.  Muttering promises, not to let you have this next time, as his fingers finally soothed circles, into your regrettably still, swollen needy sex. 

You kept your panting low, quiet not daring to pull him to full awareness of your situation.  Biting back small mewls, into the knuckles of your screwed-up fist.  His wroth should he find you not to be whom he thought you to be, would be worse than this.  It cost you less then to appear willing, to let yourself go for this sleep filled Emperor.  Better this, than risk the hold he would gain over you; should he wake Ren and instruct him, to pry from you why you cried this time.  Better to meet those flicks of his fingers, with minute rolls of your hips, than he realise how desperately you craved touch, even his.   

You were already so close; when he rolled you over, and onto your stomach, reaching inside his sleep pants to free himself.  Climbing over your legs, pushing up the swell of your ass; to slide his cock inside of your waiting cunt.  The thrusts he gave where slow, and shudderingly deep as he gripped your ass cheeks.  Making you wonder how Ren slept on, through the thudding of the mattress, Hux’s fingers carving crescent shaped cuts, dented bruise marks into your skin. 

A low moan of something akin to pleasure, and anguish tore loose form your throat, quickly silenced in the hiccupping of a sob.  Above you he shushed you, wiping tears from your cheeks, to press closed mouthed kisses to your salt tinged skin; his eyes never once opening, as hurried breaths fell against your ear. 

You lay there complacent for him, waiting for him to finish.  Ignoring your clits throbbing demands to be touched, for you to come.  You were above needing such things, especially from him.  Over and over you reassured your body you didn’t even want it.  Telling yourself; that the desire to cum, would pass when they were gone.  That even if did not, then taking care of this when you were alone; would save you the shame of their constant control over you.

“Rub your fucking clit.”    

The roughness of the quietly hissed command, was completely juxtaposed to the normally composed Hux.  Making you press your hand instantly under your body, to follow his order like the well-trained slut he had you.  Sliding it between you and the mattress to your yearning clit.  He still couldn’t have caught on that it was you, and the charade had to continue.  So you rubbed at your sex; neat little circles against the throbbing of your clit.  Ignoring your burning cheeks, as you sunk another level into their depravity. 

Pleasuring yourself at his rape of you was a necessary effort to conceal your identity, he would demand more from you if you woke.  If it gave you pleasure, then that was a better, safer cost to you; than him finding another weakness.  It was only after he had felt the unmistakable clamp of your sex on his cock, that he came.  Contriving to let go, only half a thrust behind you.  Sighing in heavy closed-eyed pleasure; he buried his cock deep inside your pussy, mumbling expletives into the skin at your back.  He waited a breath or two, stroking the side of your head, whilst he mumbled indecipherably quietly to himself.

A second or two more, and he rolled neatly off your back, and into Ren’s waiting arms; leaving you bereft of his warmth and the previous human touch.  You lay there a moment longer in the wet patch of your combined cum, trying to ignore the sensation of it leaking from your core.  Doing your best in this less heated state, to control and quell both your confusion and your guilt at giving in so easily.  A small part of you argued more profusely than the rest of you, that if had been wrong, that you should have held out.  Whilst the rest of you argued, it had been if not your only choice, the wiser one. 

Exhausted, and your mind cleared of noise, you managed to sleep, the orgasm thankfully, making your limbs relaxed.  Your body tired enough to fight off the incessant round of guilt in your mind, to give into the waiting folds of dreamless slumber.  Grateful in the knowledge that he would probably forget it was you, as you were pulled once more back to him, to sleep in his surprisingly strong arms.

 

You woke at full daylight, blinking sleep from your bleary eyes in the bright chamber.  From the warmth seeping through the sunlight above, you realised you had slept through most of the morning, and it was almost midday.  Stretching out in the large bed, you curled around yourself into the sheets.  Your head still groggy with sleep, but yourself for once rested and alert. 

You were alone, not even the handmaidens had entered yet, all of them following Ren’s orders that you were to be left to sleep.  It was therefore your intention to lay there longer, to enjoy the solitude.  To delay being disturbed; and the organised chaos that came with your daily schedule, for as long as you could possibly manage.  However, the pressing need to go pass water, had you sulking off to the bathroom.  

It was when you had finished your abolitions, that they entered the bed chamber.  Nobody shouting out as much as a grunt in greeting.  Just the patter of footsteps, and the wafting smell of caff through the refresher door.

They allowed you to eat, before dressing you for the day.  Your gown another, made of flimsy layers of shimmering fabric, the colour again just right.  The material so thin and pale it clearly displayed the darker coloured lingerie you wore beneath it.  The neckline cut obscenely and unnecessarily low, showing the swell of your breasts, the skirts cinched tight at your waist, all overshadowed by the oppressive silver, of your collar.

 

You were escorted by the palace guards, once more into Hux’s audience chamber.  Climbing the marble clad steps of the throne dais, without instruction, kneeling in place, ready to serve.  This time, pillows seemed to have been added, for you, and you sank down onto them.  Appreciative of both their thick padding at your knees and the protection from the chill of the marble floor.  It was a tiny nod of concern to his pet’s more fragile and less conditioned body.  Whilst he kept you clearly shackled, lest you mistake him taking care of your physical wellbeing, for an act of affection towards you as an individual.  Chains attached you again to the gold and red throne, like some ornamented doll.  Another jewelled accessory for him to show off, a display of absolute power to dangle over the heads of his subjects.

The wait for your masters to join you, seemed to take forever to your aditated and anxiety fuelled body.  It was made worse by the slowly increasing trickle of people intending to seek Hux’s audience, and gawp at you on display.  Their pointed looks of disgust at you making you curl up on yourself, as though it would somehow protect yourself from their stares. 

Deciding in their absences to risk Hux’s displeasure, and hide your face in the pillows beneath you. Feigning either sleep or disinterest in them, and their sharp worded appraisals of your body.  Telling yourself they couldn’t touch you, not with the guard’s present.  But their looks, the snarls, and pursed lips still hurt, and some graphic suggestions of what to do with you were beyond terrifying.  You scrunched your eyes tight, and somehow the pretending gave into actual sleep in your boredom.

You found yourself waking in panic; when a heavily booted foot, set its self down, next to your head.  The crack of the thick sole against the cold floor, ringing a loud clap in the suddenly silent room.  At first you hurried to raise yourself in panic to your knees, stopped by the heavy press of invisible weights at your back. 

Someone shouted out a rude joke about Hux tiring you out, offering cruder still suggestions to keep you from falling asleep.  It was something which earnt the idiot a black look, and you watched the cant of Hux’s head towards you in your peripheral vision.  Supressing the shiver that came with the assumption, the Hux would have no problems blaming the man’s suggestion, on you later.  Furiously you berated yourself for giving in to your fear.  You shouldn’t have been sleeping, you knew better, you should have instead been ready, appeared alert.  Whispering your apologies to the ground, you sat back on your heels in obeisance.  Ready to carry out his wishes, not daring to risk another look at him, he would make his displeasure known soon enough. 

An hour went by before he took notice of you.  Your legs almost numb from the position, you kept in. Your toes wiggling in desperation, sadly demanding more of your attention, than the room.  It was then to some shock then, when Hux turned to address you his voice calm patiently waiting.

“Well what you think of it all Pet?”

Before him stood the new Zeltron home-world Ambassador, Veer’s replacement.  A man whom by the faint tinge of overly pink skin on display; was not entirely human.  You brain ran through the possible questions, coming up blanc with suggestions.  The swell of panic, rising-up like bile in your mouth, tightening your throat to the realisation, you couldn’t answer him.  Mouth dry you let you gaze reach as far as Emperor Hux’s chest, not daring to look higher unbidden.  Wondering why he had tried to draw you into this discussion? What was the trap, and how were you to pay the price?  

If Hux had realised your predicament, he declined to show it.  Humming in both thought and boredom as he metered out more information, but still not enough.

“Veers, Pet.  Novak thinks you’re sympathetic to his escape.”

A hand slipped over your shoulder, raising to the barest hint of finger tips against your neck as you kept in place before him.  You had no idea to what he was alluding, nor did you want another taunt at your supposed Resistance sympathiser.  You didn’t for one minute doubt Ren’s assessment of him, the man made your skin crawl.  You snapped, the irritation at the pins and needles in your legs, as much the cause as your frustration, at having to protest your innocence again.

“Your Majesty; I cannot abide the man, and I don’t care to discuss him.”

The roll of annoyance in your reply seemed to amuse Hux, and it earnt the Ambassador a smattering of laughter from the audience.  You got the smallest of impressions that Hux was pleased with you, probably because it played straight into his hands.  Once again Hux was rewarding failure with open mocking, was it the Ambassadors or your own?  Either way another was being herded straight into the trap, he laid you as bait for.  

“See Novak, even she couldn’t care less, and would like him delivered to me to face trail.  Isn’t that so Pet?”

You nodded obediently trying to look appreciative of Hux’s order, whilst also keep your face neutral.  Devoid of any shock, at the seemingly lack of punishment at your earlier failure.  The meaning behind Hux’s questions, obvious by the Ambassadors reaction to you. 

They were still hunting Veers, the man no doubt was exactly where Hux wanted him, but to the new Zeltron ambassador; it was no doubt still an open display of his failure.  They carried on their discussion, the Ambassador respectful of Hux, and thankfully barely looking at you. 

Veers had made your skin crawl with his perverse desire to bed his Emperor’s whore; to this man you were simply just Rebel Scum.  Unworthy even of being, beneath the ground he would choose to spit on.  Now alert to their subtle power exchange, you watched with interest.  Eagerly awaiting the moment the trap would spring full circle on this man, whilst trying to discern the best and worst possible outcome for you.  A low spoken order to change position, allowing you to curl up at Hux’s feet, splaying yourself out as gracefully as you could muster.

Half of you wanted to see Emperor Hux, to make another suggestion of a First Order garrison being stationed there; just to see this Novak more wound up. That was after all what he was manipulating the situation towards, giving the man enough rope to hang himself.  As much as the new ambassador Novak, was trying to suggest that you were somehow in cahoots with Veers, Hux kept his cards close to his chest. He knew you were equal parts terrified and disgusted by him, but wasn’t letting that on to Novak. 

You hated this man for all his cold indifference to you, more than Veer’s slobbering and Novak’s apparent outright distain of you.  Both were clearly incompetent in Hux’s opinion, at the job, and whilst you hated him, you had to admit; Hux was the very epitome of competence; if he thought them lacking they would be. 

Whilst a part of you wanted him to defy his Emperor.  To refuse to bow to his demands, he had already made that choice, guilty by association.  It was therefore difficult to keep your own face open, and devoid of the sneer threatening to form as the man droned on at Hux about difficulties he apparently faced from descenders.  You had been in the presence of politics only a matter of months, but already you had learnt more rules than this preening pup when bargaining with Emperor Hux.  He, or Ren took care of all threats made against him, and this man was one way or another making them, by not accepting his wishes. He would be far safer accepting the garrison, as would the people he claimed to protect. 

It was Ren who paid attention to you first; crouching to pet the top of your head.  Summoning your attention to him for an odd show of reassurance, before announcing his discovery of your closeted frustration, to a wider audience.  His rumbling voice ringing out as much as a challenge, at anyone who would decline to listen, as his raised sabre would have been.       

“Even the Resistance Scum you think is beneath you, knows you would be safer to accept your Emperors’ offer of assistance.”

The look of triumph was meant, in some kindly way to comfort you, before he turned his black look back on the visitor.  So, this was their intention; to place you in harm’s way, and use your lowly status to humiliate the ambassador.  It was risky to take pride in it, but you did a little.  Stopped when he chose to look down his nose at you, for the first time truly taking stock of you.  If his opinion of you changed he didn’t show it; unfeeling eyes that would give Hux a run for his credits, staring up at your elevated position of submission.

Why did each player in this powerhouse need to be so cruel, so belittling of you?  So damned unfeeling and bloody inhumane, in the ways they acted towards you.  Behind you the air changed, and something about the positioning of Ren’s feet and the squaring up of Novak’s shoulders, made you realise both were ready to spring.  It was a brave man who would stand up to Kylo Ren, and it was Hux who took control back. Choosing to centre Novak’s attention back on you, not on his consort.

“Do you Pet, how clever of you.”

The taunt could have been meant for you, a backhanded complement, but you doubted it.  He reached down to pull your face to him, pulling you up between his legs.  Tapping your cheek in a silent order to look at him, you did your eyes expressive and wide; frightened.  His tone was patronising, but the look in his eyes spoke of something else, he was pleased with you.  This was a game, you were both the bait and the sting, and you were unwittingly playing your part beautifully.

“What else do you think of him Pet?”

You shook your head, your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth, though wisely kept your eyes on him.  It was a minute action, but the only answer you could give.  It was one that spoke of your terror, you didn’t want to go here, Veers had been bad enough. 

Novak gave a confident reply, heavily flavoured through with his distaste and disinterest in you and Hux’s request for your opinion.  That was foolish of him, to deny Hux’s authority and superiority.  Trying to dismiss Hux’s request for your opinion had been a stupid move for him, but one no less dangerous for you.  You drew back on your heels in fear, trying to look as small and helpless as you could muster, the last thing you needed was to be caught in their crossfire.  You were hardly a politician and wouldn’t have wanted that role here anyway, but the Emperor had spoken, and it demanded an answer. 

Quickly you ran through what little option were left to you; what was your next move, how were you supposed to proceed?  Everything in you wanted to look towards Ren for guidance, knowing that he was in tuned to both of you, that he knew exactly what Hux wanted.  You ignored that itch, your tongue darting over your rouged painted lips, taking in a deep breath.  Little subtle moved you made in an attempt at playing for time, as internally you screamed to run.  It was probably for the control, you exercised, that they threw you a lifeline.  Hux pulling you over his lap, cooing in feigned pity at Novak. 

“Nothing Pet?”

You shook your head, this time a larger gesture than before, lowering your line of sight to his chest.  He would be cross, and humiliated tears threatened to fall, as you sank into the numbing dread of what was to come.  You squirmed in his lap nervous for what was to come.  Knowing that at some point your ass would pay for that, but you were honestly floundering.  If you spoke it would add another dangerous addition to the sea of monsters before you, if you didn’t the one at your back would attack, and he was worse.

Trying to decipher how he would debase you, in retribution for your silence.  He sighed, a pretend noise at boredom, playing your reluctance off to his advantage.  Drawing a slow line with his index finger down the centre of your cleavage, he pulled your gaze up to him; frowning as though in deep thought.  It was not an overtly sexual action, and nothing like him ordering Ren to fuck you on top of his throne.  But it spoke volumes to Novak; his seemingly uneducated, and unrefined whore, was of a higher importance right now to him, than the governor of an entire planet.

 “Nothing.”

There was a deep breath of silence, before you finished, by adding his honorific title.  Ensuring you called him not just Emperor, naming him _your Emperor_ too.  You could have gone on more to humble yourself, to make yourself feel safer; but instead Hux dismissed you.  Instructing a nearby guard to provide an escort for you, to your rooms. 

You fled as dignified as you could from the throne dais, and subsequently Hux’s audience chamber as gracefully as you could manage.  Keeping your gait slow steady, head held high and graceful; everything you knew would please your master.  It was only outside and when secure in your chamber that you allowed yourself to think.

He hadn’t dismissed you to spare you any possible bloodshed, nor to save face should he want to use you.  So the only option left to you was that your inability to answer had badly displeased him somehow.  He’d never beaten you, or offered corporal punishment before a large audience, that was something he had saved for private.  That had to be what was to happen now, silently you paced the waxed floor of your room.  Hands clutching at your stomach, as much for something to ease it, as to pummel the painful worry it held.  No attendants arrived, leaving you to face your nervous wait alone, adding at least one positive; there would be no witnesses to your chastisement.     So now as you paced heavy heated footsteps onto the wooden floor, you lowered all expectations; knowing you’d either played your part well as bait, or failed as he predicted you would.  This outcome would have been the same regardless of how you had performed.

The psychological side of Hux’s games, was always the part that weakened you the most.  You were helpless, he knew it; and made sure to remind you repeatedly, and often.  Offer you choices when there were none, somehow make it seem like there was hope, or a way to lessen their perversions; all the while knowing you were trapped. 

The door opening made you drop suddenly to your shaky knees, curling over yourself, forehead pressed to the floor.  Much more a genuflexion of fearful worship, than the graceful and ready position of submission he wanted, but your knees wouldn’t hold you. 

To raise you so much, to let you fall meant whatever he wanted to do to you, must have been bad.  The ends had to justify the means, and Hux was capable of elaborating and designing such a scenario.  One that could only be the construct, of your demise into their forced debauchery.

You visibly flinched under the hand that patted your head. How much more scared where you then; when he pulled you to your feet, pushing you back onto an oversized chair. 

“Good girl Pet; Novak is making the final arrangements with Ren; he has agreed to station a garrison on Zeltros.”

You failed to see how, any of this achievement had been yours.  You’d offered no advice or help, simply answered the questions offered to you.  You’d been nothing more than a shiny bauble, an unwilling display of his power.  How could you have offered anything, chained to his throne like a powerless animal? 

“Now shall we see to your reward?”                  

You repeated the word; reward, with a confused squeak. Watching, trembling afresh, as the man fell to his knees before you.  Lifting your skirts to your knees, kissing each one, before pushing the fabric higher, towards your hips.  The now familiar, gloved fingers running circles up your inner thighs.  His eyes never leaving yours, open, inexpressive, but somewhat more relaxed than his usual glacial stare, as the hands rose higher. 

Your breath came hard and shaky, heart thudding in your mouth waiting for him to pounce, for his actions to change, and become nasty.  The breath that preceded the touch of his lips against your silk clad sex, made you tense.  Your body, still expecting the sobering slap or comment that could at any point.  Not this gentle burying of his nose between your thighs. The coldness of the rushing air through his nostrils, as he breathed so deeply into your sex.  The fingers that plucked your knickers from you were firm and confident.  The opposite of your shaking form, waiting for his mood to sour. 

Hux had never offered you pleasure, for pleasures sake alone, it always came as a distasteful reward for allowing him to take his own pleasure from your body.  You wouldn’t have chosen to take it if given a choice.  It was always measured out as a control mechanism, one meant to cheapen and demean you, never just to please you.         

 “Relax.”

The discarded panties fell to one side of the chair, as he tossed them away, pushing you back to recline in the chair.  He pulled your legs open, no doubt enjoying your confusion, as much as he was gorging himself on your fear.  His silver-blue eyes watching your body intently, as you leaned back, peering down at the silken russet tresses at your sex.  Resting barely a heart beat on your own wide eyes, until lowering those copper-red lashes to his cheeks, driving his mouth in a French kiss into your folds; teasing them open to his touch. 

This softness set you on edge far more than his other twisted games.  His arm pressing down on your stomach to keep you in place, when you jumped at the first pass of the tip of his tongue at your clit.  You weren’t relaxed, nor could you follow his order to do so, too untrusting of him, to used to having to jump quickly to save yourself. 

He pressed firmly on your stomach, the position pushing your hips down to the seat, your shoulders resting somewhere half up the chair back.  Raising your sex in a forced offering to his mouth, and he devoured you like a lithe cat does its prey, tiny nips and suck punctuated by darts of his clever tongue.  Not since the first time he had taken you, had Hux chosen to eat you out, seeming to prefer to watch Ren do it for him.  He had tasted you, on his lover’s lips, or sucked your juices from fingers; but this was something you hadn’t really given thought to him even wanting to do. 

He clearly did though, tonguing you with more careful skill than Ren’s larger tongue.  Emperor Hux’s technique meticulously seeking the parts that involuntarily made you gasp, your hips threatening to give in and rock against his face.

The smug little chuckle, was the first indication that he had guessed, your enjoyment of this act.  His eyes looking up to you, from his position between your legs.  His hair infuriatingly perfect, as eyes blown wide with lust watched you.  Your cheeks blossomed pink, warming at his touch and the realisation you were.  The first muted cry slipped past your lips, before you realised you had been supressing it, and at the first tiny rutting of your hips; he gripped you tighter pulling you harder to his face.  The tiny snarl he gave was so unlike him, and so quiet; that if it wasn’t for the vibrations it set off against your slickened skin, you would have mistaken it for a heavy breath.  It shocked you, the most animated he had ever been, and this the only time he had ever placed your pleasure above his own.  Teeth gripped your clit, his tongue coaxing the most sensitive parts from under your hood, and trembling with something so different to fear now; you reached above you to grip the back of the head rest.

The warm breath at your ear was unmistakably Ren, a warning before another set of hands came into play, these ones gripping your wrists in place behind your head.  He made no move to join Hux, simply holding you in place relaying the brokered deal, whilst his Emperor worked harder at your sex.  Twice you pulled back your approaching orgasm, before you had to give into it, Ren’s relaying of information, paused as he praised you for letting go.  Your thighs cramping against Hux’s head, a wail of pleasure ringing in your ears, one mouth nuzzling at the soft curve of your neck, the other pressing tiny kisses against your sensitive pearl. 

You so lost on your wave of pleasure, and the juddering aftershocks created by Hux’s lips, you barely recognised their still ongoing discussion.  Managing at best to only to grasp the general plan.  There was an agreement for one night, in exchange for as many First Order Troopers as the Emperor wished to send.  It was as you came down from the words exchanged filtered into your consciousness.  You looked up at Ren, his gaze pointedly looking down at his Emperor, waiting you realised.  The deal had not been finally brokered, he was waiting for Hux to confirm one final part.  Tensing up ready, realization hit you like a lead weight of apprehension.        

Hux snarled at this, his face a mask of utter distaste as he voiced his final barter.

“Tell him one night Ren, and we are there on the planet with her.”                         

        


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may contain triggers, worse than previous chapters. I refuse to state what they are, but if you are unsure ask and I will provide my email address, if you read it and it feel you need to talk about any of them with me, or (UK only I'm afraid) a health professional ask me. I can give you a heads up of where to go.  
> I also have to apologise, I didn’t mean for the passage of time in this chapter to last so long or take all of the paths it did.

A week went by and neither, Hux nor Ren would speak to you regarding the deal they had made with Novak.  You didn’t really expect them to either, whilst you didn’t dare to outright demand it from Hux; Ren you did.  At first your fear made you petulant, to the point of brattish pouting, moving on to screaming demands.  Your terror at what they had agreed to, of the unknown quantity that was Novak; making you more scared of him than you were of Ren’s temper. 

At least with Ren you knew what to expect he found your fear endearing, this Novak outright despised you, nothing good could come of your time with him.  Whatever had induced him to ask for you in the first place left you perplexed, and you didn’t like it.   

Eventually even Ren grew weary of your fear, using a Sith mind domination trick, to stop you from asking. The mind domination, didn’t quell the rising tide of fear, that engulfed you daily.  The silence leaving you alone to your imagination, and its macabre machinations at what he would do with you.  Nightly your dreamless sleep; turned to horror filled nightmares.  One’s that woke you more suddenly and alone than the recurring dreams of Ren and Hux fucking you, ever had. Leaving you alone and shivering, drenched in fear-sweat in the pre-dawn dark. 

It didn’t stop them from using your body though.  Alone or together, they visited you daily, rutting into you, like animals. Wringing from you, every drop of pleasure you could spare; and often more.  Exhausted and unable to find any rest; you were beyond weary. The precious little undisturbed sleep you could catch oddly, in the handful of moments when they lay still next to you.  Too tired to focus, but too full of anxious energy to sleep.  In the small light of dawn, you berated yourself for ever believing Ren’s assurance that you were not to be shared.  How could you have forgotten that all you were to these men, was a hole to be filled, just another flesh covered toy to break. 

Another week went by, and whilst your presence had summoned daily, for this week neither man touched you.  You ate each meal with them, retiring to bed only when they dismissed you.  It made you anxious, to be untouched; not sure what you had done wrong.  For them leaving you untouched, you were grateful, yet it would have been better had they left you alone.  Their closeness, in their precious few moments alone, but for your company; a nauseating jab at your loneliness.  The seven cycle stretch, was not the longest you had been without their touch.  But it was the longest time, in their company without physical contact, but neither man seemed to take interest in providing you with any. 

At the end of those seven cycles, you bled again, the handmaidens no doubt rushing to report your blood-stained sheets, straight to their Emperor. 

He had not arrived as breathlessly, or as quickly as before.  Ren joining him, a mere handful of clicks later, all attendants dismissed from their presence.  The Emperor’s face was unreadable as he wordlessly looked you over.  Quietly conferring with Ren, their voices hushed as they looked pointedly at you. The Emperor shaking his head once, before approaching you with slow clipped strides.  Neither man spoke, and apprehensive at their stern faces, you drew back; until the wall at your back halted you, from proceeding any further.  They split, both trapping you like deer, being circled by Chlovi-Cats pinning you in place, as Ren’s fingers pressed to your temple.

“What have you taken little Pet; show me.”

His voice was strained and the mind probe he performed, was neither quick nor gentle.  It left you unconscious before he was done.  Waking hours later, your clothing soaked with sweat, and alone, except for the detached attendants.  They offered you drugs for your pains, but nobody offered you comfort, as you sobbed uncontrollably into your pillow, unsure how you could have prevented Ren’s mind rape.  None of made sense, you were allowed nothing they did not provide you with, nothing they didn’t already know about.  It didn’t help that you never found out what he was looking for, or what he was alluding to.  If they just told you, you would tell them.  Hux distanced himself from you for the short time, you bled.  Making you wonder what he found so abhorrent about your body, this cycle, when last time he had enjoyed watching you with Ren. 

All human women had a menstrual cycle, or at least all with reproductive capabilities did.  If the Emperor Hux didn’t like that then there were ways of stopping that available to him.  Avenues you would be happy for him to take, even if he took the decision away from you, even a permanent solution if needed.

The chances of you ever being free to have a normal family were gone.  Even if you were freed, tainted as you were now; where would you go to?  How was it possible to ever escape having been the Emperor’s whore?  Nobody would want you for more than a trophy, for a thing to possess. 

For all Hux left you alone, Ren wouldn’t stay away.  He called on you daily, seemingly obsessed with a bizarre fascination for your blood as his finger caressed your sex.   Making you writhe in painful orgasms, that left your clit aching, but at least soothed your cramps.  His touch was light, and could almost have been meant as gentle, but to your swollen breasts and abdomen it wasn’t.  His fingers and mouth all over you as he painted both your bodies, with the russet colored fluids.  Not shy of running his tongue through your folds to leave your gasping, before pressing you into the mattress to slowly fuck.  He made such as mess, your blood leaving the sheets so darkly stained you were sure, they would never come clean.  Nothing was hurried and he teased you constantly throughout the sessions, his fingers brushing your mind.  This time painlessly searching your thoughts even though he never asked again what you had taken, nor hinted at what he searched for.  It made you cross that he could be so gentle when it pleased him, the mind probe didn’t have to hurt.  He just made sure it did, to both humiliate you, and keep you on your toes.  The increased hormones, and his confusing touch, left you on a shorter fuse, and he took amusement at your intensified temper.  Laughing frequently at your replies; cruelly enjoying the increased ease at which you took his bait, whilst mocking you more seriously, for your lack of spirit if you didn’t.       

“Your hormones make you, more depressive Pet.” 

This you managed to ignore, though the rising tide of anger was difficult to keep from you face.  The change in hormones, wasn’t to blame, there treatment of you was.  You’d been assured so many times, that this was as bad as it got, that they were the worst you would have to face.  It wasn’t clearly, and you had to face the facts, berating yourself, that you had thought you were safer.  That as his whore, his possession you meant more, that he was above sharing you. 

You allowed yourself to think back to the day Veers had asked for you.  The possessiveness in Hux’s actions as he took you, had made you foolishly think him above this latest game.  A quietly spoken order to look as him, drew your attention back to the man hovering over you.  Ren gripped your chin, pulling your face to where he could study it, his voice losing that hash taunting tone.  The question still cold, but with the change in timbre making it less so than before.  

“Is being our pet, really such a hard life, you want for nothing.”

His eyes searched yours calmly.  The look of confusion in them, forcing another wave of fury.  He wasn’t teasing he honestly thought you were being unreasonable.  That your lot in this life, as his sex-slave was good.  It wasn’t him being entirely cruel, then but it hurt no less.  Surely, he was not the ignorant, couldn’t he sense how it made you feel?  Yes, you were clothed in expensive fabrics and jewellery.  Physically you could want for nothing, you had attendants dancing around you all day.  But there was so much you wanted for; companionship, freedom, the right to make simple choices about your life.  There was so much you needed for this to be a life.  You knew that arguing for them would not bring results; only more punishments, but it was the one jibe that went too far.

“I’m a prisoner of war, not your pet!”

You spat the words between clenched teeth, your tongue feeling the weight behind each word.  It wasn’t that he didn’t know those things, he just didn’t care.  He clasped a hand in each wrist, pinning them either side of your head, raising an eyebrow in warning at your struggles.  His cheek rubbed yours, the rougher stubble rasping on your softer cheek.  He pressed harder, forcing your face to one side, pulling one earlobe past his lips.  Holding it with his teeth, as he flicked his tongue over it, his voice husky, deep with lust as he spoke. 

“No Pet you’re not the spoils of war. There is no war.”

Above you the gigantic form hovered, lower, his chest rubbing across your torso, his mouth sinking lower, teasing your breasts to swollen peaks.  His legs kicked yours wider; to make room for his hips to slip between them, chest to chest as he nibbled over the column of your neck.  His cock thick with blood, his hips rutting as he rubbed it into your cunt.  His mouth close enough that you could feel each laboured breath, in the crook of your neck.  There wasn’t time for you to reply, his cock pushed slowly into you; groaning appallingly loud at the slow intrusion into your sex.

“Maker, you’re so tight, so wet.  Your cunt threatens to squeeze me dry each time, I take you.”

It was a completely unnecessary thing to say, making your face pale, sickened by the comment.  You would have looked away, tried to ignore his use of your body, if it wasn’t for the pinch he gave at your clit each time you tried.  His mouth teasing each nipple alternatively, threatening to bite harder against your painfully tender breast, when you tried to silence your moans.

Quietly you sobbed, knowing this was likely what he had chased; your tears.  Refusing to answer when almost disinterestedly, he voiced what could only be, mock concern at you crying.  He knew you were frightened and why, and would likely not tolerate you asking him again, not to send you to Novak.  When you didn’t answer, he gave the curt command for you to roll over, onto your knees.  You turned over, burying your face into the pillow, your sobs not as muted as he’s hoped for. 

He crawled over your back, his chest warm against the chill of your bare back, lifting your hair to better access your neck.  His cock sheathed itself back inside you with ease, summoning the Force to swirl patterns of thicken air against your clit, pounding you faster and faster as your cunt clenched tighter on his cock.  The slow thrusting was still almost brutal against your swollen cervix, his hips managing to snap back on each swing, just in time to save it from bruising.  He pressed your face harder into the pillow, growling as he pumped into you, muttering low to himself. 

Ren waited until you’d come, before he took his release inside of you.  Ensuring you found pleasure in your humiliation, before he would take his own from you.  It didn’t stop you from sobbing though, begging him one last time not to send you to another’s bed.  Promising to do better, to be better, anything Hux needed you to be; if they wouldn’t send you.  He ignored you, huffing a puff of warm hair as he reached for you.  Making you flinch at the fingertips that reached your temple, brushing aside your hair. 

His touch not the blow expected, but a gentle pressure of Force, a small suggestion of oblivion, that washed calmness over you, terrified mind.  It allowed you to sleep for the first time in almost two weeks a full night of dreamless sleep.  He didn’t leave you that night, and it was only when you woke early to him leaving in the morning, that you realised you had slept through the night.

Ren came to your chambers no more, during the last two days of your period, though you were still summoned.  Hux breaking with his previous reluctance to have you around him.  Once to sit in the gardens with both men, another to lay before the Emperor’s throne, as he held audience to his subjects.  On neither occasion, did Hux leave himself alone with you, and whilst he cosseted you, your body seemed to hold no sexual appeal to him.  It came as a shock then to find him in your bed-chamber a few days after your period had ended.

He had fetched another man with him, a doctor you soon realised; and you were told to hold still as he performed various checks on you.  From the easy manor they conversed with one another, you gathered they knew each other well.  Making you wonder if this was the Emperor’s personal physician, or someone he knew from his days as a general. 

The check-up was through; making you suspicious that it was more than it seemed, and the doctor already alert to Hux’s suspicions.  You were too, though they were pointless; you had taken nothing, you had nothing to take, nobody to give you anything.     

The Doctor drew various fluids, and samples, all under the watchful eye of the Emperor.  The physician professional in his procedures as he was the reporting of each result back to his Emperor.  You expected Hux to remain impartial, not to offer a hand where it was needed.  His efficiency reminding you, that for all his now elevated status, Hux had once been a practical man, a soldier.  The preliminary tests all came back normal, prompting him to suggest more invasive tests.  Hux gave his permission, and the Doctor removed new apparatus from his bag; a speculum, and swabs.  You were coldly instructed to remove your underwear, and raise your skirts. 

You did so, loathed to let another stranger look at your intimate areas, but knowing there was no choice.  Stiffly reclining onto the bed, as the medic spread lubricant on a speculum.  You were told to spread your legs, feet flat to the bed.  You did, trying to ignore that your womanhood was held open to both men’s gaze, as the physician slid in the speculum.  Hux adding his instructions for you to breathe, as you jumped at the cold metal invading you.  A click, and you were held open, stretching your walls tight; an width that given your nervousness, was too much.  He twirled the lock into place, before peering under your skirts to look.              

You knew how smear tests worked, you’d had those before, and assumed this to be something similar; him checking for abnormalities.  But this was before your rape, now every action to your sex seemed too invasive, too destructive of the tatters of your confidence. 

Hux seemed genuinely interested by the procedure, asking questions of the equipment used.  It would be something he would have little, experience of, and none as personal as you, your thought as he leaned closer to have a look inside you as, the doctor quickly worked.  A pointless act, since he hardly had the Doctors skill set, or knowledge.  The Doctor took more samples from you internally.  Informing the Emperor there was no apparent signs of infection, nor pregnancy, but he would need to perform longer tests.  There was a good thing, if your period wasn’t proof enough, here was a doctor’s assurance that again, you had dodged the bullet. 

Both men continued discussing your health as though you not in the room, and you were certainly not allowed a say in any of it.  The Doctor finished, he went to remove the speculum, stopped by a command from Hux to leave the apparatus in place.  His behaviour betrayed nothing odd in his Emperor’s order, and he moved quickly to gather all other equipment back into his case.           

He lowered your skirts for your, before bidding his Emperor farewell.  Bowing as he promised to have the results to him as soon as he knew, leaving you awash with another level of dread.  There had been no mention of contraception, if they were loaning you out, surely there should be at least a discussion on it. 

Emperor Hux waited until the man had finished gathering the test material, showing him from the room.  The speculum was still in place, and sitting up was too uncomfortable, so you were left just laying there; waiting.

A click sounded the closing of the door, and your ears strained for the precise footsteps that preceded Hux climbing to the foot of the bed.  The mattress moved, and your skirts were pulled up again, air swirling around your bared, synth-lubricated sex.  There was the rustling of fabric, and the jangle of a buckle opening, before the Emperor spoke, his voice strained with thought.

“Somebody is poisoning you, Pet.”

Eyes fixed on the ceiling, you swallowed hard, ignoring his comment as you gave into melancholy.  If somebody was poisoning you, good; it would shorten your stay here.  It would mean less of him, and less chance he             

“Who is it little-pet, what are they giving you?”

You raised yourself onto your elbows, not entirely sure if you had heard that, how you would know that.  Surely by its very definition, being poisoned suggested a substance administered by someone you didn’t know.  How could you know, you knew nothing!  Nobody came to you he didn’t allow through those door, your handmaidens were loyal only to him.  Spluttering out your confusion, your brain desperate for your mouth to form more than the incredulous, ‘what” you managed. 

His head dipped closer to your exposed sex, and from this angle you were forced to watch him.  Too frightened to look away in case he would suddenly lash out at you.  He hummed, pushing one knee, to further splay your sex; every part of it open to his gaze.  You blushed, stupidly after all this time still uncomfortable that he saw your more intimate areas bare.  His hand ran from your knee, up the skin of your thigh, closer to your bared cunt.  A finger tweaked the speculum, making you jump, as much from the general nervousness you lived in around this man, as from the uncomfortableness of the action.  You shook.  A shiver running your spine at both at the threat hidden in his question, and the soft brush of fingertips at the walls of your open sex.  They ran circles around you inside, nothing hard or cruel; just a fascination with your insides. 

The leather-clothed fingers, brushed your cervix and you gasped, holding your breath, as you tried to hold still to the intrusion.  What he was doing to you; how he was touching you, would have been pleasurable, if this had of been someone you trusted.  As it was, each muscle was pinned tight with stress, waiting for him to strike; the fear he induced like a barbed hook at your gut.  You shook your head, dizzy with the slow breaths you took to belay the coming panic attack.  Your actions, not denial but supposed confusion, in case it had escaped his notice that’s what women did.  You were not about to enter discussion, on this latest way to control your body.  So far, you could count yourself lucky that you hadn’t found yourself pregnant, he obviously knew by now you could have been.  He was too clever to not know how these things worked.  Surely, he knew you risked it if he sent you to Novak.

His hand pumped at his cock, his gaze trained on your cunt, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he worked to get himself off.  He moved to kneel between your open leg, the wet sounds of flesh, slapping as he beat his cock, holding it above the entrance to your womb.  You’d close your eyes if it wasn’t so bizarre, this act he performed.  As it was, you had never seen him do something so self-debasing, this wanking himself off more Ren’s forte than his.  It was made odder that he looked so insanely pristine. as he worked over his cock.  His face a stern mask of self composure, his eyes glued to the entrance to your womb.  He brought the fingers of his spare hand to his lips, perfect white teeth pinching the black end, as he dragged it from his hand to toss aside.

It shouldn’t feel that good, but as the naked fingers brushed across your cervix, you gave a little moan.  The bare skin even softer against the delicate flesh, the stroking actions somehow more erotic than you could have guessed. 

His eyes, closed to slits, though they never once left your pussy, his hand pumping his cock as he held it inside your gaping channel.  The heavy rise and fall of his chest, the only show that this was in anyway enjoying this.     

Even as he came, his concentration was fixed straight on your insides.  You felt the splatter of his seamen, before you had realised he had given into his orgasm, searing against the unprotected entrance to your womb.  His fingers stilling in their movement though never leaving you, lest he hurt that part of you he deemed most valuable.  The simple groan, through clenched teeth, was all the noise he ever permitted himself as he came. 

The fingers at your cervix picked up their movements, swirling his seed inside you before he stood.  Holding the sticky fingertips to your lips, as he shifted his movements obvious as you realised you had company.  Obediently you sucked the bitter seed off them, the lubricant the physician had used slicking your lips, Ren stood to one side, his cock hard and ready in the palm of his hand. 

He waited to be told to approach you, by his lover, bending one knee to the bed.  Lowering himself to where he could wank over the entrance of your cunt.  His treatment of you was much the same as Hux’s, though he was quicker to spill his seed inside you and unafraid to show pleasure in the act.  Both sets of eyes looking at your face, your features one of absolute mortified disgust, as they removed the speculum.  Their fastidious infatuation with the medical equipment, had made it impossible to ignore their reasoning to today’s interaction with them.  They enjoyed playing with your fear, but it was a more viable option, given Hux’s displeasure at your periods, that he wanted you pregnant.    

“I need my heirs pet.”

Either he had guessed your calculating, or he had finally chosen to share with you the depths that he was prepared to sink to.  It was probably the former, given that what he was already despicable enough to force you into this unknowingly.  Then his fingers brushed your cheek so gently, that in another time this would have been an act of intimacy.  It threw you, and here and now, it made you feel sick.  Finally free of the speculum, you struggled to be free of them too.  Desperation overriding your common sense; you needed to wash, to clean yourself of their deposits, you could not risk conception.  Despite all the other time’s they had cum inside you, none made you despise them more than this time.  Their admission, forcing you to deal with what they expected of you. 

Despite the velocity and strength of your struggle to escape, Hux’s hands were surprisingly tough.  They easily held you in place, waiting until you had tired yourself out; for Ren’s fingers to stroke at your clit.  It seemed a pointless waste of time, and such an invasion on your panic, that against your better judgement; you dared to question Hux.  Asking him why if he needed heirs so badly, then why send you to Novak.  Why not marry and use a more acceptable broodmare than you.  You were lower than low to these people, they would never accept you, and you would never be seen as fitting.  For all your anger, you honestly strove your hardest, to keep a level of courteousness in your voice.  Your stomach in knots; no matter how unbearably bad this current situation was, Hux could always contrive to make it worse.  He declined to answer everything, but his reasoning for sending you to Novak. 

“Because you are not in an acceptable state for me to refuse him. This would never have been an option for him, if you were in any other condition.”

Bile threatened to choke you at those words.  Was he serious, had you of being carrying his child, would it have really saved you from Novak.  Or was Novak a punishment for you not having conceived his child, shakily you held back from asking, too frightened of the answer.  You still asked Ren to stop his touch at your clit, remembering to address the powerhouse in this relationship too.  To your surprise Hux nodded at Ren, as simple gesture that stilled his hands, as he scrambled to lie the opposite side to Hux.

They allowed you to pull back your dress, though that was as far as you could escape.  It was pointless to ask if you could move, and so you laid there, both men spooning you, as you gave into the exhausted, hopelessness of your situation.  Today you were unlikely to have conceived, the dates were all wrong, though it did nothing to stop what was to eventually come of you.  Begging was pointless, you had spent months doing it, but then again so was crying; but you continued to do it.  Fat tears, rolling down your cheeks, as you pleaded with him to use someone else, someone willing.  Somehow you doubted they would allow you an attachment to a possible child, and Hux’s cold demeanour was hardly conducive to one having a happy upbringing.  No, more likely that you would give birth; only to have the flesh and blood you carried for nine months, torn from your arms, given over to someone else to raise.  You knew Hux was capable of feeling love, of caring it was obvious from how he looked at Ren.  But how would he respond to something not entirely of both bloodlines?   

He still had the audacity to look offended, the grimace he shot you, one of utter disappointment as he disentangled himself from you, rising from the bed.  You screamed at him, Ren’s arms around your waist shifting to grip your wrists, as you struggled afresh.  He was going to leave, his whole demeanour that of annoyance, like you were a child than needed scalding, not a woman forced to endure the vilest of acts.  Ren shifted his grip as you tried biting his arm, anything to make him let you go.  His legs wrapping yours, to still your kicks, tucking you under his chin.  Hux observed you both, his tone still one that suggested you were being unreasonable in your fear, as he addressed Ren. 

“Really Ren, wouldn’t it be quicker to use a Force-command?”

He was chiding him for his choice of restraint, for using energy to keep you restrained, when a simpler method was available. Yet as you tried pulling away, the twitching at your ass dispelled any thoughts you might have taken to, of him doing it to leave you some control.  This fighting with you turned him on, though it was seen as childish, and distasteful by Hux.  He leant over the bed, his voice level and authoritative as he leant over you, ordering you to cease your struggles, threatening you further when you didn’t immediately comply.

“Tomorrow we leave for Zeltros, allow me to remind you what I threatened you with, for attacking me in private.  Publicly embarrass me, and your fate will be worse, than a few Stormtroopers fucking you.”                

   

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter I would most appreciate feedback on. It's not supposed to be a nice, or overly romantic story, but I'd still like to know how people take to it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the longer waits with updates. I've had a lot of other stuff to do, I am on with the next chapter,

It may as well have still been the night before, for the time you were summoned.  The handmaidens dressing you in your finest warmth, adding a fur trimmed cloak for the walk to the waiting shuttle.  It was still dark, but the lights danced softly across the silver at your neck.  They greeted you crisply, ushering you quickly aboard the ship, Hux adding a murmured approval to your dress.  It was less revealing than usual, though was low enough cut to display the collar draped over your neck and clavicle.  Out amongst his public, it was more imperative to him that nothing was to be amiss with your appearance.  He would not have anything questioned, even his taste in whores.  Your dress looked far more costly that any the Emperor had ever dressed you in.  It was littered with golden stars, and the skirts far more flowing than needed.  It as always felt wrong on you, this was the dress of a consort, or empress, not a whore, not a collared slave.

The journey was nothing spectacular, though the both the shuttle, and Star-Destroyer were; both fitted out with every functional luxury anyone could want for.  Never had you seen such an efficient display of wealth and power.  The shuttle docked aboard the Flagship, Hux giving the command for you to follow.  He was all military efficiency aboard his ship, clearly pleased to be back to familiar territory.  Both you and Kylo trailed after him, yourself forgotten as he spent the morning pouring over reports.  Refreshments were fetched, and you watched the exchange between the ships’ crew and your jailers.  Of their Emperor, there seemed genuine respect despite the fear that they conversed with the most powerful man in the Known Galaxy.  Of Ren though they seemed to just fear him, something which you knew from your time with him, he played on.  More than one Lieutenant jumped quickly out of his way, if he came to close or looked wrongly at them.  He was deliberately playing with their fear, as a cat does a small rodent, and shamefully you kept quiet, pleased for once it wasn’t you. 

Hux waited for you to finish the small meal with them, before dismissing you from the room to rest, demanding an escort for you.  This time it was armed soldiers; Stormtroopers and not personal unmasked guards, that escorted you.  You were placed between a squadron of four, two in front and two behind you, as they stomped along durasteel floors, Hux’s temporary quarters aboard the Star-Destroyer. 

Officers, and troopers alike cleared the decks to allow you to pass, your skirts flowing behind you as you walked your neck held high, in an attempt as pretend pride and bravery.  Here you were Resistance scum, their target and without the collar at your neck for protection, they would have found more varied treatments for you than Ren and Hux.  Thankfully the silver at you throat, clearly marked you as their Emperors property.  None would dare stop you, or however pressing their task challenge you even for the right of way.  For all this was a diplomatic mission, this was a military ship, and aboard martial law still ruled and your keeper was top of this law. 

Those that dared look at you, were at least honest in their confusion.  Probably confused at having a women of your ilk associated with their Emperor, let alone fetched aboard their ship.  More than one female officer, stared in open judgement and envy as the pressed to the wall to allow you passage.  The dress alone, was a walking extension of the Emperor’s wealth, the necklace a mark of ownership.  Here they were well trained by discipline, but in amongst the echelons you would need more to feel safe, they kept their own rules. 

The Troopers left you at the door, and as it clanged ominously closed behind you, you knew it would be locked.  Even if hadn’t there was nowhere to go, you couldn’t pilot a ship, and you wouldn’t risk Hux’s wrath, this close to your meeting with Novak.  Hugging your arms around you, more for security than warmth you took in your surroundings.  The room although quite clearly intended for Hux and Ren was left entirely to you.  It was more spacious, softer and less functional than the crew quarters, would be; clearly having been designed for civilian transport.  You wondered it alone, less at ease with the solidarity than you thought you would be.  Meals were fetched regularly by service droids, making you long for someone human.  Just another body would have been welcome, even if only for, the sounds of another breathing.  It would make you more settled, not this lonely panicking imagining your fate on Zeltros. 

The chronometer showed nearly a full day had passed, when a dark-haired officer visited after your evening meal, inquiring after your wellbeing.  He seemed stiff, but genuinely respectful around you.  A kindness, a small glimmer at humanity this man held no sneer you realised.  He cleared away the plates, before relaying orders for you to get into bed.

You didn’t like this, but if they were willing to share you, at least with this man he didn’t look on you like you were dirt.  Obediently trained as you were, you had begun to shakily remove the belt at your waist, before the red-faced officer realised what you were doing.  Stuttering his good byes, he quickly exited the room; leaving you with a sense of dread.  You stripped off scared as you climbed into bed; that somehow, in your hurry to obey, you had done something horribly wrong. 

You slept little the night before and it seemed you would have another night to go over your options, few though they were.  Escape would hardly be an option, unless Novak somehow left you alone, and then you suspected that was why Hux was here.  It was unlikely that you would get far, with his planning, and Ren’s Force-sensitivity.  Meaning any chances to run would have to be undertaken, only when there was a clear route out of there.  But on an unknown planet, you would likely not fare well.  You had no money and with no way off the planet, there was no way to avoid their goal for you. They had planned too well, every avenue a closed corridor.  They wouldn’t let you escape, and even death wasn’t an option.

Aboard the ship, there was no night or day, and so there was no indication of what time it was when you woke to the darker shadow at the foot of your bed.  You knew it was him, the silhouette as familiar in the gloom of the bedchamber, as the smell of him.  He lifted back the covers, and slid in as another larger figure shuffled behind you, stoking both your spine and bared neck.  You hadn’t even noticed Ren, quickly summarising that it had been a Force-trick that kept him hidden from you.

“You made quite the impression, on the ships commander Pet.”

You tried to lose yourself, closing your eyes to the wet kisses that trailed your body, knowing it was safe than stirring Ren’s interest in your thoughts, but it was so hard.  The brunette had been the first to view you as human, not something to be devoured or used.  So, this was it, they were here to reprimand you for your slip-up, for what had been a genuine mistake.  They were always so keen to display you, naked or clothed that it hadn’t occurred to you, that the request was to be followed alone, and in private.  Behind you the arms tensed, locking you tight against Ren’s chest.

“Shush Pet, you’re not for him.  Sexually you don’t excite him.” 

No, well there was a relief.  There was at least one man who’s advances you didn’t have to fear, it was such a shame that it had been the one person you wouldn’t have minded touching you.  You thought on to the gentle blush, the soft stammering so out of place in the military; imagining that he would have been soft, gentle, possibly even kind.  There was a pause in the mouth against you, then a laugh from behind you, making you open your eyes; nervously needing to see what was likely to happen.  Above and next to you in the half-light, you could see the raised silhouette of the Emperor.  He was raised on one elbow watching you, the whites of his eyes reflecting the starlight, from the view port, his hand gripped your chin, tilting your face closer.

“You would have wanted him, you would prefer the touch of another, Pet?”

For all the casualness in Hux’s tone, it was a trick question; one you couldn’t answer without making this bad for yourself.  The man at your back, would sense a lie, and warn his master.  Before you Hux waited a moment before gripping you tighter.  Boon he would either demand an answer, or have Ren painfully rip it from you mind.  It wasn’t that you would prefer anyone else, more that you would like to be left alone, you could forgo the sex.  It was more the way you were treated that you longed to change, therefore the answer you gave was the safest you could manage, quickly mumbling it.  His grip although still firm, loosened at you chin.  His body relaxing as he lowered his mouth closer to yours, absorbing your request for him not to be as rough.

“You want us to be softer with you?”

His voice was low and husky, stirring something in your loins that you shouldn’t have felt.  He pulled you to his mouth, his lips slower less demanding as they placed one, then two kisses to your closed mouth, his hands cupping your face. 

“We can be soft if you need it.  For now, for tonight we will be gentle for you Pet.”          

Yes he would be gentle, but he would still take from you what had never been offered.  Softly he pushed you over, slowly lowering your back to the mattress.  His mouth back on yours, the fingers of one hand stroking your cheek, as you tried to relax into this unknown.  The mouth behind you pressed onto your navel, huge strong hands gripping you in place for the kisses he placed across your abdomen.  One set of hands trailed your breasts, fingers pinching lightly at your nipples, the other set stroking at your inner thighs whilst the Emperor continued his kisses.   Who sighed into who’s mouth first you weren’t sure, the exchange of kisses confusing you, this offered gentleness confusing you.  It was harder to relax for this, than his roughness, but it had been what you’d asked for wasn’t it?  A nudge of a nose against your clit, made you realise how turned on you were by this, it throbbed angrily demanding attention.  Your hips moved before you realised, making Ren chuckle before he buried his face between your thighs his hands wrapping under your legs. 

You would have been angrier, but the mouth enveloping your nipple halted the train of thoughts, the shot of electricity that left it shooting down to your sex, adding to the pulsing there.  Your back arched, your repulsion at who was touching you, overridden by the tongues working at your sex and your nipples.  They swirled around the bundles of nerves, leaving you squirming at the over stimulation, the sensations just the right side of bearable, enough to keep their actions pleasurable.

They brought you close to the precipice, then somehow contrived to keep you there, writhing as you swallowed your cries.  You grit your teeth, telling yourself that no matter how good this felt, you would not beg for this release.  The bastards knew this; the chuckles they made against your skin belying their supposedly kind treatment of you.  It had to be that they wanted you uncomfortable, your pleasure only mattered to them, when it was torn unwillingly from you.

Your legs tensed, the muscles almost painfully taut as the tongue flicking your hood pulled away.  A kiss placed to the protesting organ, it was just another run at a wave you wouldn’t crest.  The dark hopefully hid you frustrated tears well, though Ren would have guessed, it still surprised you when a gentle thumb brushed them away, kissing both damp cheeks.

“You need to cum Pet.”

In the dark you nodded, shame colouring your cheeks.  He wouldn’t be able to see the blush, but he’d feel your skin warming on his bare palms, and the shake of your head.  He would know he’d won, that somehow your body had overridden your resolve to refuse this.  You hadn’t begged, but you had admitted that you needed something from them.  Sighing Hux caught you mouth in another kiss, keeping you locked in the kiss as he replaced Ren’s lips with his cock, rubbing it through you spit and precum slickened folds.  The head pressed over your clit rubbing you almost to orgasm before pushing himself inside you, burying himself in your sex. 

It took barely three thrusts, before you could feel yourself pulling tight around him, readying yourself to unravel around his cock.  He had been so quick to deny you, that a moments fear of having him stop, or punish your forthcoming orgasm, made you grab his hip, stuttering more of a warning that you would cum, than permission to do so.

He didn’t answer, instead pulling a pebbled nipple back into his mouth.  Gently holding it between his teeth, as he roughly flicked his tongue over it, triggering your orgasm almost instantly.  The scream almost tore through your throat, but you caught it in time; muffling it as a grunt whilst your cunt gripped his cock.  He swore, pulling himself from you making you realise that somewhere in the throes of orgasm; you had made him loose control quicker than he wanted to. 

He almost flopped over you, kissing your forehead; before pulling himself back together.  His typically rigid persona returning as he moved aside for Ren to mount you.  He fucked you at a languid pace, leaning over to kiss his lover, before he would his pet.  Hux’s hand gripping his boyfriend’s ass, mashing his pelvis into you on every thrust, grinding him deep inside of you.  It rubbed so artfully on your clit, that you found yourself spreading your legs.  Arching your sex up, at him, panting as you drove your fingers into the bedsheet beneath you.  You were close, driven that way by Hux’s previous orgasm, and the way he had Ren fuck you.  

Both mouths latched onto a nipple, one tongue pointed as it flicked at it, the other mouth sucking it between teeth, nibbling over the hardened peak.  You mewled, almost feeling the eyes as they flicked up at you, biting your lip at the embarrassment.  Despite all the times you had protested you hated it, that one little noise was enough of an encouragement. 

“Not yet, Pet.  You’ve had one, don’t be greedy.”

The warning to wait was coupled with him ordering a stilling of Ren’s hips.  Hux pressing him into you, ordering him to stay put as he shifted to kneel behind him.  A click and then another slick noise, and then Ren groaned; the shifting of his ass letting you know he was being fingered by his Emperor.  More slick noises, and sounds of thrusting fingers came, before Ren was given permission to continue, Hux guiding him with the thrusting of his fingers.  Ren’s cock inside you growing impossibly harder, and thicker at the touch of Hux’s fingers inside of him.  

A shifting in the weight pressing over you, coupled with the growl let you know Hux had pressed himself inside of Ren.  Sloppy kisses, and murmured growls into the crook of your neck, let you know how good it had to feel for him.  He almost laid over you, his mouth only leaving your skin to find a fresh piece of flesh to taste.  Ren fucked you, but it was Hux who controlled the pace; careful to keep his thrusts slow, gentle. 

A muttered sentence of praise was given to Ren, though he was too lost in chasing his own enjoyment to respond to it.  Something Hux must have enjoyed to see, for him to have let it slide.            

It was Ren who came first, almost sobbing into your shoulder as his entire body shuddered.  Hux, behind him hissing like a cat, his last thrust a slightly rougher swing of his hips.  It left your body still alive with unrequited need, and pressed under the tangle of weighted bodies you could do little to hide it.

A quiet apology, and Ren tilted, Hux rolling off his back to lay chest heaving next to you as Ren rolled the other side.  Hux rolled along your side, his deft fingers stroking to your sex, the fingers rolling easily on the cum covered flesh, Ren’s thicker longer fingers, thrusting inside you.  Ren’s fingertips rubbing your front walls, Hux’s mouth at yours, Ren’s full of your nipple.  Both relentless in their treatment of you as, together they finger fucked you to your orgasm, Hux’s tongue in your mouth, muffling your cries.

You waited until you were sure they were asleep, pushing aside your need to return to sleep to take care of a make shift removal of their cum.  Scooping it from inside you, as you tensed your walls to squeeze it out.  It slicked over your thighs, and this you rubbed onto the sheets, it was by no way enough; but you felt better for having tried.

Sleep came easier than you expected, and you woke naturally.  No handmaidens to help you dress, just a fresh gown laid out for you, this one fitted, a red colour with flowing skirts.  A protocol droid assisted you to dress, it’s personality designed to be brusque and closeted, no more talkative than your handmaidens.  It also seemed able to apply cosmetics, and pin your hair up, pulling strands into complicated loops and plaits.  Leaving you again lonely bereft of any companionship, as it proclaimed you done, leaving you with instructions to join the Emperor in the next room.  

You moved to join them, knowing that any delay would reflect badly on you, they would know you were finished readying yourself.  Which was worse, the endless hours of loneliness untouched and unloved, or the passion fuelled moments you spent servicing these men.   

The abomination serving tea in Hux’s study was a reminder that there were worse fates.  She moved gracefully from chair to chair, both silent and subversive.  Her clothing a rich servants livery of gold and burgundy, not a blemish on her, nor a skull.  It was both an eerie and stomach churning sight.  So heinous of a crime that it was on a level, you hadn’t even thought to imagine them possible of reaching.   

You flinched if it came too close, not daring to touch it.  It’s presence an obvious example of the worse possible fate for you.  They would do it, you were sure of it; it would leave the bits of you they needed still available for their use, whilst silencing your protests. 

You had heard whispered tails of a rogue doctor in Imperial times, performing illegal and unethical experiments on injured and brain dead civilians and soldiers.  Decraniated they called them, their skull and freewill removed, leaving them the perfect and quiet literally mindless servants.  It would make sense then, that the doctor and his practices had been ushered into first Imperial, and then First Order custody.  It made you sick to your stomach to watch, dreading to even look at her, let alone touch the glass she offered.  You drank it anyway, knowing that to refuse the Emperor’s hospitality was unwise at best, sipping at the chilled mixture, as the two men talked on over flight plans clearly unaffected by their server.  The woman, or at least the thing that had been a woman, moved swiftly to refill their empty glasses of the iced-tea.  Making you shudder when she came too close to you.   

 “She can’t hurt you Pet.”

It had been Ren who voiced an opinion at your nervousness around the cyborg, thought something in Hux’s face made you realise he had noticed it first.  It wasn’t that either men were perplexed at your reaction, though they did seem intrigued.  Who was she, and how had she displeased Hux?  Was she a former lover, who had displeased him, or a was she another casualty of war.  You sipped at the tea, aware both men were watching you, as though waiting for something, unsure as to what it could be.

A softly spoken command ordered your attention fully to him, calling Ren over.  Ren placed an ornately carved wooden box on the table next to him, before returning to his chair.  Leaving you to kneel before the Emperor, shivers running your spine as you realised he was unfastening the collar.  Your first instinct was to grab his wrists, trying to stop him unfastening it.  Without such an open mark of ownership, you would be defenceless, that silver was what kept you untouched.  Against your will tears welled, and your heart raced as you imagined the worst, Hux easily twisting both necklace and his hands from your futile grip.  A click and the box swung open on golden hinges, and inside nestled amongst plush red fabric, you saw a flash of gold jewellery.

Hux’s hands wrapped it around your throat, a hidden catch holding it in place.  It was a far plainer piece than the ornate silver and much smaller, simply a band of golden stars.  It was beautiful though, and delicate for all of its simplicity.  It weighed far less, than the heavier silver, but it’s weight was still a pleasant reminder.  Another collar, another mark of ownership.  Did this mean that he had no intentions of harming you, of doing that to you, just humiliating you, keeping you fearful. 

 

A touch of a single gloved finger to your cheek, and you were led from the room.  Escorted to the waiting shuttle, and eventually the surface of Zeltros.  Somehow you stayed calm, though your heart was thumping in your chest, throughout the whole journey.  It’s beat so loud that you were sure you companions could hear it.  The shuttle docked, the thud as the landing gear touched down, jolting your sickened stomach.              

Somehow you managed to stand and join Hux’s possession from the shuttle, across the landing pad.  Your steps slow, legs weak and shaking so much you were sure they would give out beneath you.  Both men were somewhere near the head, the greeting the heads of the planet, and wealthy bowing in subjugation at their ruler.  You didn’t so much as place yourself in the middle, as that was where you had slid to, neither Hux nor Ren looking back at you.  They didn’t have to, you were too well trained to mess up, and too well watched to run.  You stayed with the group keeping silent and just watching, as you kept your steps graceful trying not to let the fear show. 

“My lady.”

The voice of the young woman startled you, you looked around, blinking.  It took you more than a breath or two to reassure yourself it was you she was addressing.  Nodding a mute gesture of attentiveness.  Hux was stood to one side almost inside a set of huge doors, Ren nowhere in sight.

“My lady, I am to attend on you whilst you are here, if you will follow me.”

That was twice she had referred to you as having another title to whore, before settling besides you.  Both times had held no hint of mockery, it made you more uneasy than settled.  Although busy, you doubted that Hux hadn’t noticed her, nor the way she addressed you.  She directed you to the same set of doors Hux stood at, following behind you both as he was directed to his own quarters.

The rooms were extensive, but nowhere as large as his Naboo palace, but you had still been afforded your own room.  It was plainer than the gilded cage of your own chamber, though no smaller.  The attendant moved to assist you, stopped when she was dismissed by her Emperor, his orders for her to leave and return later cutting short what could have finally been some company.  His gaze was steely, cold as he watched her leave, his jaw firm before he turned to address you.

“You are not her equal, do not presume to treat her as such Pet.”

You nodded, accepting his words with ease, knowing that you were nobodies equal, wishing you could have the courage to ask when you would be sent to Novak.  The waiting was making it harder, more tense.  Some company would have saved you from the anxious wait alone.  Hux moved to leave the bed chamber, his word spoken as he exited it. 

“Rest, you will not go to Novak, until after tonight’s gathering.”                 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So not the explosive chapter I had planned, but it is coming I promise, just bare with until chapter 14. This needed longer on paper than it did in my head. Let me know how you feel it fits.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last one before Novak.

The day was spent in silence, though at least not boredom.  There was a small balcony window in your chamber, not overly large and too high to escape; but there was enough room to sit outside.  So, you did; taking advantage of the lack of supervision, to breath fresh unfiltered air.  You spent all day there, just sitting and watching the outside world.  Enjoying the feel of being outside, the gentle breeze tickling your hair and the slight warmth of the sun.  Your legs curled up under you, taking little heed to the rough-cut stone floor and the dirt, nor the damage it would do to your clothing, it wasn’t like you tended to wear the same dress twice. 

Below your balcony, were well manicured gardens, and you could see the small crowds of people walking in them, in small groups.  The white and gold clad figure of Emperor Hux easy to pick out amongst in subjects.  It wasn’t his clothing nor the distinct colour of his hair that made him easy to pick out, but the way people flocked to him; circling around him like a hive of Geonosians to their queen.

Everyone seemed to be vying for his attention, and with Ren missing, there was more than one woman preening herself, trying to catch his eye.  That you laughed at, knowing first hand both the futility of it, and the heartbreak that came with his attraction.  His bedroom habits were vile, and you doubted any of the fine ladies would approve.  That both Ren and Hux were a couple, must then something that must not be known then, outside of his inner circle.  Surely Hux had at least announced Ren as his named consort, even if not his husband.  It led you to wonder what then, was known then about you?  Were you seen as Hux’s whore? Or as since he had been the only one to openly use you Ren’s instead?  Surely the nobles below you then, know you were formally Resistance, and a prisoner; but then why the polite greeting?  What exactly had Hux explained your history to be, or would he simply refuse to answer all questions on the matter.

If he noticed you watching, or the circling hordes of women, it never showed, no doubt he was likely too engrossed in business.  He was here after all to negotiate the stationing of his troopers, and not pleasure; it was the reason he had brought the Battle Cruiser with him. 

The late morning turned to afternoon, and with no one thinking to fetch your food, none arrived.  You would be hungry later, but with the attendant dismissed you were not disturbed.  You fell asleep in the sunshine, woken later as the early evening air turned to chill.         

Hux was watching you as you stumbled through the window, and quickly you fumbled through what you hoped was an acceptable apology; dropping to your knees before him.  It wasn’t that you regretted your choice, just allowing yourself to sleep.  You should have come inside at the first signs of sleepiness, not risked him finding you out there, exposed.  Now you faced both his wrath, and the company of Novak all in one night, it was too much. 

He removed his belt, laying it over a chair; the rest of his clothing following as he neatly folded them into a tidy pile.  He walked through to your adjoining refresher, turning tap on a marbled glass tub, adding salts and soaps to the water, giving you instructions to strip to your under-garments.  The dress had been so tightly fitted, they had left you braless; and so, it was bare footed, wearing only a pair of panties and his choker, that you stood before him now. 

The steam from the bath made the room warmer, and so he must have noticed your trembling, must have realised it couldn’t be from the cold.  There was no snide comment or taunt, and no signs that he had noticed it, so you clung hopeful to the possibility he hadn’t.  The bath run, he climbed into it instructing you to come closer, handing you soap before instructing you to attend to him.

Hux’s demeanour had never suggested he used attendants, or valets to bathe and dress; he was much too self-sufficient.  This then couldn’t be about him needing assistance, it was in addition to his comment about the attendant.  To remind you that you were beneath him, you were here to serve his needs.  You rubbed the soap between your hands, taking longer to lathe it to bubbles than was strictly necessary.  Even if this was to just put you in your place; it was foolish to think something this innocent, would stay that way.  No matter how much you told yourself that it was just skin, your fingers wouldn’t move; too sure that once you had touched him he would begin his latest perversion. 

“I’m waiting Pet.”

You jumped, quickly putting down the soap, on the bath side, leaning over to reach him.  Hurrying to scrub the bubbled suds into the warmth of his bared back.  One warning was his idea of being lax with you, there wouldn’t be a second one, and if this didn’t go to plan, there may still be consequences of him giving you one added to your already standing mistakes.

Your hands trailed his spine, and across his shoulders, to the backs of his arms.  Gliding over each change in indentation of bone and muscle, defining that Hux; although slender was far from skinny, his hidden strength gained through use.  His power, more fitting to a thinker than a brawler, his frame wiry, his not exaggerated like those of Ren’s.  He seemed to relax into your touch, closing his eyes to the makeshift massage you gave him, hoping to appease his earlier displeasure, hoping that this would be enough to keep him settled. 

“Get in.”

You bent to remove your panties, stopped as an impatient hand pulled you into the tub.  Water sloshed over the side, but thankfully settled as you arranged yourself on your knees.  The soap was placed again in your hands, his own guiding yours to rub together in it, before placing them at his pectoral muscles.  His breath tickled your hair as you rubbed lower.  Involuntarily slowing, tightening the circles at the first brush of the smattering of hair bellow his hips.  He was hard, you could see that through the water, without needing the hand that guided you to touch him.  Your fingers wrapped his length, his hand now working your own, guiding you in long strokes over his cock. 

There was a smattering of strawberry freckles across his chest, and these you focussed on, as both his breathing and stroking sped up.  Counting them to steady your nerves, and to place yourself elsewhere.  You had counted twice to thirty, stopped each time by an obscene groan, before he suddenly stood tossing aside your hand and ordering you to kneel up.  Clearly your mental absence had been noticed, and was not permissible; now you would be punished. 

“Look at me, Pet.  I am your Emperor; I deserve your full attention.”

Your eyes lifted, his thumb rubbing your lower lip; smearing what was left of the mornings lipstick across your cheek.  He rubbed the head of his cock over the seam of your lips, smearing wetness from the bath water and slick precum.  First; he ordered you to open your mouth, then he rubbed his cock over your tongue pushing it as far to the back of your throat as you could manage. 

Where once it would have triggered your gag reflex, now it just made it uncomfortable to breath.  He stroked your face, running fingers along the bulge where his cock head was seated in your throat.  Your breaths were shallow, and not enough to satisfy your burning lungs.  Leaving you were grateful for when his hips rolled back, and he allowed you a full breath of gasped air.  He repeated his actions, all the while watching for the look of desperation, of fear in your eyes.  Drool spilled from your mouth, coating your chin as much as his cock, strands of saliva connecting him to you. 

“When I cum Pet, do not swallow my seed.”

His next thrusts into your mouth were slower, shallower, more deliberate in intent.  The head of his cock never leaving the surface of your tongue, his fingers jerking the bottom of his shaft. 

He came without so much as a strangled moan just a gasp before he set his jaw to closed again.  As ordered you held his seamen on your tongue, your taste buds flooded with the sticky, bitter-salty mixture.  He closed your mouth, three fingers lifting your jaw, swiping your bottom lip dry of both spittal and any escaped cum, using a cloth to clear away the lipstick stains.  He stood from the bath watching you as he stood once again tall, a brief smirk ghosting his lips, before he composed himself.  A knock at the bathroom door sounded, before a woman’s voice asked if you were ready yet for her assistance.  It was Hux who had to answer for you, your mouth filling as saliva pooled under your tongue. 

The door clicked the maidservant, dropping to the appropriate curtsy at the sight of her liege.  Hux’s next move was one that would have suggested affection to anyone but you.  Holding his arm to help you from the bath, wrapping a much larger towel around you.  His arm around your midriff, as he leaned in closer to hiss a final warning in your ear.     

“Swallow that before I give you permission, and tonight will be a whole lot more unpleasant than you can imagine.”

How it shocked you, you didn’t know but your eyes must have blown wide at his words; panic setting in as he kissed your cheek, leaving you alone with the attendant.  He had effectively gagged you, leaving you unable to answer the myriad of questions the woman asked; as she went about her business.  Naturally your clothing was already picked out for you; a long black and gold dress, the neckline plunging, but full sleeved.  It had a small train at the back that glided behind you as you walked, and jewellery too had been laid out, all gold to match the collar at your throat.

You answered all questions with a nod, or shake of your head.  Managing to separate the saliva from Hux’s cum when you swallowed, each breath through your nose only drawing the taste of him through your senses. 

It was close to the end of her preparations when Hux returned.  The golden crown of laurels on his brow, his dress robes immaculate; his usual white changed to black.  You scowled at that, appalled at his audacity; that he had deliberately chosen your dress to match his clothing, whilst later it would grace another man’s floor.  Ren seemed still missing, which was odd since you had not seen him all day.  It was unusual to be amongst Hux this long on his own, Ren had to be at least nearby, if not for the companionship, then his Emperor’s security.  Hux carried a goblet of clear liquid, twirling it between both hands, as he sat on the bed behind you.  He took slow sips, watching your reflection in the vanity mirror, as cosmetics were applied, occasionally suggesting a colour change, or a thicker line. 

Thankfully the attendant moved swiftly, and didn’t think his instructions for your appearance odd, nor your silence.  It was getting harder to keep the two liquids in your mouth from mixing.  Your tongue was almost numb with the effort of holding it still, swallowing becoming harder.  She was so lovely, so kind; and you were being made to feel so rude to her, the first person to talk to you as though you were not muck.

“I just need to do your mouth honey.”

Now you really panicked as the woman held a brush ready to paint your lips, and to do that properly, you needed to open your mouth.  Your eyes stung, your skin dropping to a white pallor that showed even under the layers of paint.  You couldn’t do this you told yourself, before daring to make a direct look at Hux.  You didn’t beg, that would no doubt anger him, but he knew as much as you did what she would see if you opened your mouth.  No reprieve came, and resigned to none coming you parted the seams of your lips, not enough to display the contents of your tongue.

From his perch on the bed; Hux rolled his eyes, placing the glass atop of a nearby cabinet, before standing to address the attendant.  He plucked the brush from her hand, and dismissed her from the room, leaving her blushing, when he politely thanked her on a job well done.  The door clicked and he waited until the footsteps had died away, before he addressed you again his voice mocking.

“Really Pet, you will need to open your mouth wider than that.”  

It was dismissive in his neutrality of your fear, and more from relief that he hadn’t made you show her your mouth, than fear you showed him; opening your mouth wide to him.

You were still sceptical, but he seemed genuinely pleased by your efforts, dipping a finger in the milky strands of his fluids.  Spreading it around your mouth, before bringing the finger to his lips, to taste it.  Sucking the residue off with a pop before lowering his mouth to yours, swirling the mixture between your tongues before ordering you to swallow, licking anything left from your lips. 

“Clever girl, even Ren would have struggled to hold my seamen that long.”

He was breathless from the kiss, and from the pink tinge to his cheeks aroused by it too.  He placed the brush to a side, using both hands to cup your face, bringing his lips back to yours.  The knowledge that you had taken today’s punishment as well as Ren, strangely heady and invigorating; for once you had surpassed his expectations.

His lips moved over yours, lifting your skirts to rub along the outside of your thighs, sliding under your underwear, cupping your ass.  His finger dipped between the crack of it, pulling you to his groin as the tip pressed to your entrance.  He pressed the length of his cock into your pussy, dry humping into your mound.

“It’s been too long since I took this hole Pet, tonight when you return, I will have it again.”

So, whilst Novak had asked for one night, he didn’t intend for you to spend the whole night in his bed.  The thought then of being allowed to return to the familiarity of your captors, was more welcoming than it had ever been, not that that took much.  That he would touch you after, meant the likelihood of harm coming to you in Novak’s presence was slim.  Being bloodied or bruised by him and Ren was one thing, you doubted he would enjoy another to treat you so.  This you clung to as you kissed him.  Ignoring the nagging thought; that at one point you had also assumed him not willing to even send you to another. 

His fingers slid around to your cunt, his mouth trailing to your ear, moaning almost unnoticeably in it, as a finger slid inside you.

“You’re so wet.”

To your amazement, it was more a whispered moan than a crude comment, and there was no taunt in it either.  He was pleased you realised, some of the tension slipping from your shoulders, knowing it was best then to play this next bit willingly.  If he was pleased, then that meant your earlier punishment was over. 

He flipped you over, lips locked with yours.  Pulling you to where you could straddle his legs, unfastening his pants to free his cock.  A quick guide of your hips, and he was seated inside you, yanking on your thighs to pull you hard, fully seated on to him. 

Your panties simply pulled to a side, as he guided your hips over him.  More rocking himself as he stayed inside of you, than thrusting.   Eyes lidded, you looked down at him, the position torture on your swollen pearl.  Like this, it would be easier to debase you, you would cum so easily on him. 

His own eyes had turned to little more than slits.  Pupils blown wide, as he lifted your ample skirts, his stare fixated on the parts of you that were joined.  He handed them to you, having you hold them between both hands as he rolled into you harder from underneath.  It grated harder on your clit, your pussy tightening around his cock.  Raising himself up onto one arm, the other gripped your waist, pulling your mouth to his.

“We haven’t long kitten, hurry.”

He genuinely was interested in your pleasure then, not just his own in this quick union.  There was no time to question if you should feel sickened by this.  His mouth opening, tongue teasing your own.  A slight twist of your hips, on one of his upstrokes and it was enough, your core spasming on his cock as you keened into his open mouth, panting as he fucked you harder through your aftershocks, emptying himself inside you. 

He gave you a moment for your breath, before rolling you from him.  Smoothing the gusset of your panties back over your cum filled cunt.  So, you would go to Novak full of Hux’s seed too; marked in the most intimate of ways, as belonging to your Emperor.  A breath or two more, and you were pulled to a seated positon on the side of the bed.  Hux’s cock already tucked away, him retrieving the lip brush, artfully painting them for you. 

The colour was a bright red, the same as the embroidered First Order emblem he had over the fabric stretching his breast.  The final adjustment was a headband of stars place into a dip in the elaborate up-do.  He held an arm to assist you from the bed, and then from the room. His actions almost affectionate, making you nearly make the mistake of begging him not to send you to Novak.

An Emperor is never late, and so despite the evenings soiree being in full swing his arrival was still heralded.  The room was enormous and filled with watching eyes, thankfully all trained on your Emperor, as walked with you towards the seated area for the higher nobles and politicians.  You tried to keep your gaze steady, chin high, refusing the temptation to look around you.  That would be fidgeting, and he didn’t approve, so far despite your wobble in the bathtub, you had managed not to displease him.  Together you reached the seating area, and whilst a chair was pulled for Hux, you knelt to the floor, to the right-hand side of him. 

“So, obedient, Your Highness.”

The comment came from an elderly woman sat adjacent to him, decked out in far too many pearls and clear gems.  You watched her from your peripheral vision, her hands birdlike more like talons than fingers, each covered in more jewels.  Clearly her status counted for something, as he shot her a polite smile, before touching the top of your head.  Petting you like a proud owner of a pedigree bitch.

“It helps, that she is so willing then does it Armitage?”

That voice made you tense, and for all the subtlety; it was easy to discern his meaning of willing.  Only one man had the audacity to address his son by his first name whilst insulting him, and so publicly too.  Without meaning to you leaned closer to Hux, subconsciously trying to hide from his father.  He gave a mockery of a bow to his Emperor, one that would look genuine to everyone who didn’t know their strained relationship.  Greetings exchanged, Brendol moved to kiss the hand of the older woman, greeting her as an old well known acquaintance, if not friend.

“He has done well for himself, has he not Brendol; First a General, and now our Emperor.”

She was willing to sing Hux’s praises, as much as Brendol Hux seemed to want to pull him to pieces for them.  A second woman soon moved to join them, this one as red headed as Hux. 

She greeted first the Emperor Hux, then the other two, stooping to kiss the woman and then after a slight hesitation Hux himself.  It was such a blazon show of affection, you expected him to order her punished, not to stand and return the kiss to his cheek, with one to hers.  The smile he gave her was genuine, as was the enquiry after her wellbeing.  Pleasantries were exchanged, and from what you knew of the man, his questions were heartfelt, and honest.  This woman was another person he cared about, more salt to be rubbed into the gaping wound at your heart.  She took the seat next to him, without having it offered, and summoned wine from an attendant, ordering for the pair of them.  So, she knew him very well you realised, a stab of jealousy hitting you.  This was absurd you told yourself, keeping your eyes trained dutifully to the floor, the hurt becoming harder to keep from your eyes, if not your face.  You were not supposed to be envious of another woman, more grateful that she would relieve some pressure from you, maybe she could bare him heirs. 

“Is this her Tidge, oh she is charming.”

Gods, she even had a pet name for him, you sniped to yourself.  Had they been talking about you?  Now you wished you had been concentrating more on him, than your sulking.  Now she reached down, tilting your face to her studying you with open interest.

“Father, mentioned you, though I expected something; different.”  

Different, what exactly was she expecting; to see you sweat stained and covered in cum and piss?  For Hux not to have intervened at her addressing you, she must be very important to him.  In your shock, you looked directly at her.  Nobody had ever addressed you so personally, or so easily without his permission, and now you couldn’t help but give into curiosity.  Her eyes were a hazel colour, flecked amber like a cats’, and held no hint of nastiness to them, this appraisal of you was honest, unthreatening; she might even mean well.

“This is my sister; Arabella.”

The introduction to this woman was the first he had ever made to you.  Leaving you no doubt that it was for her benefit and not yours, he must care then a lot about his sister.  You could see it now you looked without prejudice, the eyes the same shape as her brothers, but devoid of any of his harshness, and much younger. 

Instantly you felt your stomach ease in its churning, too lost in stupidly placed relief at her not being an emotional threat, to recognise what it was, you were relieved she was not another of his lovers.  Hux stood, lifting you from the floor, and turning to place you in his chair, handing you a glass of sparkling water.  Requesting of his sister to watch you, for him as he strode off into a crowd. 

You watched him disappear, wishing for the security of being at his side.  Stood next to him, you were a nobody, just an extension of himself and invisible.  Here on his seat, he had placed another target on your back; one his civilian sister would not be able to save you from.  Arabella hadn’t noticed your fear, chatting pleasantly with you.  Though she was careful to keep the questions, light almost airless in substance; you were very adept if not at lying, then hiding your true feelings.  So, your carefully worded replies; were laced with truth.  But still bent enough, that Hux would not be angered or exposed in his treatment of you.  To her, it seemed your position had been suggested as voluntary, and she seemed to show no hint of snobbery that her brother had not picked you from a better bloodline, instead reassuring you for your lack of one.

“As Emperor, I suppose he is free to pick whomever he wishes as his lover, none of us are equal to him.” 

She sighed, taking a sip of her wine, as you did your best to hide your fury.  His lover! You were his slave, a play thing, in no way was this man’s treatment of you anything more than a toy.  More innate questions came, most more statements than needing a reply.  It was difficult to hate her though, she was so different to her brother; friendly, kind in her own self-absorbed way.

“I can see why he chose you though, you are beautiful.”

This time you couldn’t hide your shock, nor find a way to hide it from her.  If Hux had ever chosen you based on looks, he had never so much as hinted at it.  The closest to a complement being the time he blamed you for Veer’s interest in you, and then it was not about your looks.  You were more confused than ever, did Hux think you were attractive then?  Did others think that too, was it not just about your station as his whore?  You listened to more chatter from her, adding polite nods and small noises to show you were listening; all the while trying to work it out. 

Somewhere in the room was music, and the crowds parted to show dancers, none of whom were Hux or Ren.  There was still no signs of Novak, though he had to be about, doubtless he was with Hux now, finalising your evening’s engagement with him.  You told yourself that worry was pointless, it was silly to get worked up that quickly, but it was impossible not to.  What was to happen was to happen, and you couldn’t help but worry about it.  You longed for a drink, though knew better than to ask for alcohol.  If Hux and wanted you to have an alcoholic drink, one would be sent to you by now. 

A cough interrupted your conversation, and the devil himself stood there, gloating over what was to be his prize later on.  Arabella showed no signs of knowing the deal, and doubtless he knew to behave with tact and subtlety.  Fear from more than reprisal at moving from the spot Hux had placed you in, than your inability to dance dodged your steps.  Somewhere in the room was Hux, and perhaps even Ren, and you wished one of those was nearby now, as Novak politely escorted you to dance.  Your polite refusals met with arrogant insistence that you come with him.  Either Novak had arranged permission to approach you, or was so confident by their agreement you would be sent to him, that he stood before you now.  It had been so long since you had danced, and even then; nothing as formal, as restraint as the steps the couples on the dance floor took to. 

Swallowing you, nervously looked for aid, hoping this was permissible, and that you wouldn’t embarrass yourself.  Hux had to know you couldn’t do this; this had to be another of his cruel little game.  Your hands were moved to starting positons, placed on the man’s body, your palms slick with sweat, palpitations in your chest, as you moved in Novak’s arms.  Your steps were not very good, shaky at best and from the looks around you misplaced.  You were failing and publicly so, your face heating at the embarrassment.  Novak huffed, making you more nervous, almost tripping.

“Clearly you cannot dance.  A bi-product of your station, no doubt.”

It didn’t help to settle you, and his taunt hurt. Nobody but Hux and Ren had openly pulled you for failing, and never something that you had not training in.  Furiously, you blinked back tears, ignoring the shake of your bottom lip.  You would bolt if you could, and almost gave into it. It was a thick set arm around your waist, that stopped you.  Removing you from Novak’s grasp, turning you to face him.  You took a deep shaky breath of relief, at the dark eyes looking down at you.  Never, had you been so thankful to see Ren, nor hear his voice, as he loudly teased Novak; suggesting he was at fault not you, pulling you to a starting position.

 _ **‘Look, trust, follow**_.’           

Ren pulled you closer to his chest and your eyes were drawn to his, shocked as you felt him speak into your mind, not a command; but just words.  Your next steps were slow, your concentration fixed on the man who guided you expertly around the dance floor, your step anything but clumsy now.  Somewhere you knew he was managing this using the Force, but still you were thankful, daring at one point to lean your head onto his chest.  His voice low in your ear, as he whispered a promise, his low tone still conveying his anger. 

“You should have known was not given permission to approach you publicly.”

So, you were in trouble, but nobody but them could ridicule you, or expose your shortcomings.  You didn’t thank him, nor acknowledge he had even spoken.  Nor did it register with you, that by saving you, Ren had offered you a sort of apology. 

The steps finished, and Ren led you back through the crowds, this time leading you to Hux and a worried looking Arabella.  She had sought out her brother then, when she had been unable to stop Novak.  He too would be cross then that you hadn’t managed a stronger refusal.  Ren handed you over to Hux, who in a surprising show of lenience kissed your forehead, before escorting you out.  Chills of pure fear, ran your spine.  This gentle Hux and Ren was all and act, now they were to escort you to your punishment. 

The small antechamber they led you to stood empty, lit by wall lamps.  Terrified you went to fall to your knees, better to appear subservient and ready, it might lessen the ordeal. 

“I don’t send you to do this Pet out of choice, but need.  Therefore, you must play your part well, for me.”

You were caught up by your arm; pushed up against a wall, before you could drop to kneel.  A set of black gloved hands splayed on the wall either side of you, Hux’s cheek grazing your own, before sucking the flesh at the base of your spine past sharp teeth.  He sucked another spot at the back of your neck, then suddenly and without warning; bit into the skin there, ensuring it would mark.  You hissed drawing in an angry breath at that.  You wanted to scream at him, to slap him, stopped by a raised brow.  No, now was not the time to plan your attack, or your escape, the last lesson he taught you had hurt too much.  Novak, wouldn’t have Hux’s knowledge of you, nor Ren’s Force-adeptness; you could bide your time.  

He had hurt you, broken skin, bit you like a dog does a bitch in heat.  All to ensure he sent you to Novak marked, as his whore.  That he would think you would do anything for him, on a good day was laughable, but now with your neck most likely to scar at his treatment there was no chance, Novak would have to force you, there was no way you would be obedient. 

  

 


	15. Chapter 15

You were shown to an empty bedchamber by more attendants, these one’s armed with blasters and vibro-knives.  Clearly Hux had warned Novak that you probably couldn’t be trusted, or he had anticipated you not behaving yourself.  Either way neither men were going to risk you making a run for it. Neither Ren or Hux chose to escort you to your destination, returning to the party through the same door you had entered.  Leaving you to travel there alone and afraid, your supposed sacrifice not even worth their time escorting you there.  The room was nestled up high in the building, the walk there lasting an eternity, and then ending far too soon. 

You were escorted into an empty chamber, its sole furnishing a small bed, and a large wooden latticed window.  No other doorways lead from the room, not even a bathroom to clean yourself up afterwards.  A click of the door and you were left in silence, the door locking behind them.  The window too was obviously locked, though you couldn’t help but try it, hurting your hand trying to smash it.  You were shell shocked, making you realise that all along you had never really accepted this would happen to you.  Despite it all, the clinically-cold and cruel way they treated you, you had honestly thought you were worth more to them.  Numb now with acceptance, you stared down at your knees, wiping your grazed knuckles on the skirts of your dress, picking loose skin from them.  The wait only serving to draw out the buried tears, your heart racing and breathing stuttered.  Where ordinarily two skipped meals would leave you hungry, today you were glad for them.  There was nowhere to vomit, just the floor.  Any food would have never settled in your stomach, and you felt sick enough without the added weight of an undigested meal.

Ages seemed to pass before a twist of a lock, and an armed attendant stood holding it open.  So you hadn’t been left alone, the door was guarded, was the window too?  You were sure you had seen darker shadows moving out in the darkness, when you tried to get out.       

“Strip, and get on the bed.”

At first you thought it was an attendant who gave the order; until a darker shape stepped from the shadows, dismissing the servant at the door.  This was it you realised, this was who Hux and sold you to.   At first you were too terrified to think, let alone disobey the order.  Then either bravery or foolishness set in, reminding you of your resolve, sitting taller, setting your chin higher in defiance.   Adopting the very same stance you had took that first fateful day in Hux’s audience chamber, you would not beg, but nor would you go easy to your fate.  

“No, I won’t do this willingly, whatever they have agreed with you.”

You spoke through your teeth, more to steady your shaking jaw, than to show contempt for Novak, digging your nails into the palms on your hands, pressing your knuckles hard into your thighs.  It all conveyed far more confidence than you felt, but in your own way you were determined to make both parties pay for this betrayal. 

Novak, by you not being the obedient little whore he thought you to be, and Hux by ensuring Novak sent you back damaged.  It was clearly the only victory you could gain, unless there came a chance at escape.  It would be hard, and you would need to push him; but a small part of you hoped it would see the diplomat hanged when he either hurt you, or lost you. 

Novak chuckled, amused by your reaction to his order.  Choosing to move closer, small precise steps that taunted his prey.  Almost licking his lips at the sight of you defiant and afraid.

“Good, I hoped for a challenge.”

He sprang forwards, literally jumping at you to close the distance.  You side stepped him; managing to get a decent kick at him, pulling back your arm for a punch before he side swiped you.  It was hard, and you tasted blood, your lip stinging, obviously slit.  You threw your punch hard, but quicker than intended, blocked by Novak, who then threw an even harder punch at your face. 

You back stepped from the sheer force of it seeing stars.  Another and it knocked you to the bed, your cheek bone throbbing, vision blurred through that eye.  You were not done yet, springing up like a cat, all nails and teeth as you attacked him.  He struggled with you, managing to shackle your hands to previously placed restraints on the bed; straddling both hips.  You had managed to mark his face, claw marks striping his high cheek bones and cutting through his lips.  A smirk from you and a renewal of your struggling, and he reached into his pocket, snapping open a metal edged knife blade.  It danced wickedly, reflecting what little light there was in this high-ceilinged room, the sole source of light feeble and dim.  He pressed it first to your neck, trailing it lightly against your skin, not sharp enough to cut, but enough to show you how sharp it was.

This made you chuckle, was he really threatening to kill you, in what way was that a threat?  Clearly, he would know that was instant death for him, and for you it would be a way of achieving the release from your captors you so desperately wanted.  You tried leaning into the blade, but Novak was too quick to remove it, hooking the blade under your dress, ripping it from neckline to your waist.

“Eager to die, are we?”

Your laugh turned manic, baring your teeth to him in a snarl, one he silenced with another slap, before he reached under the fabric, painfully twisting a nipple.  It wasn’t meant to be enjoyable, just to hurt, but you refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing it hurt you.  He reached for the other, giving it a harder squeeze.  Leaving you to guess; from the nonchalant way he continued to cut clothing away, punctuated by painful grabs of your flesh, there was more to come. 

It was still an easier exchange to make than carrying Hux’s offspring.  Than having to endure years of humiliating torture.  It seemed one night of excruciating pain, might be offered up for eternal release from Hux.  You needed to be sure he would do it, ensure he was frightened enough of you, or cross enough with you not to risk leaving you alive.  Sure before you lay back and took it all; it had to be worth it.

“Hux will kill you, if you badly hurt me.”

This you were certain off, making your words at snotty and brattish as you could manage them.  Sure, that whilst Hux held no love for you, he would not tolerate having you damaged.  He liked to keep his toys in working order, it was why physically he looked after you, he needed you healthy.  You would have the smug knowledge that you took someone you disliked with you.  

“It makes little difference to me bitch.  I doubt Hux would have ever let me live after tonight.  Not after what I have planned for his precious little whore.”

Drawing back a mouthful of saliva you spat it at him, replayed in kind with one of his own, before punching your ribs.  You swore they snapped, not just as they felt physically, but audibly too.  Good you thought to yourself, so this wasn’t going to be like Hux.  Hurt you but humiliate you more, ensuring you could mend, but the memory of the punishment carrying more of the risk of further embarrassments than the physical pain.  This was going to be the end, and sad and frightened though you were; this was good.   

“Oh, fucking get on with it.  Fucking rape me already.”

Your foul language was something Hux had indulged for the first day or two, then practically whipped out of you.  This Novak had not earned that, nor would you call any carnal relations with him, sex.  Whilst you’d fuck him quickly to kill you, he wouldn’t have your consent, you wouldn’t have been here willingly, it was simply making use of an avenue offered to you.  Novak huffed incredulously, his words spluttered between obnoxious laughter. 

“I’m not fucking you!”

His enjoyed the shocked look on your face, far too much.  His opinion was that derisive of you then; that to touch you in that way, was that distasteful.  Good you thought, the knowledge that he wouldn’t be having sex with you bringing a calming sense of relief.  At least you would die unmolested by him, at least only two men would have ever stolen that self-respect from you.  Novak was just going to hurt you, and then either kill you, or leave you for dead, close enough that you shouldn’t recover from it.  Either way you were done with Hux and Ren.  Stilling your breath to a slow tempo, you closed your eyes to the knife.  Letting Novak calmly cut away your final layers of clothing. 

Naked now, your nipples puckered in the chill of the room.  A stirring breeze circling the room more noticeable without the layers of protection over them.  Novak teased the tips of your nipples with the point of the knife, pleased with himself over something.  For there to be a wind, there must be a way out, a possible means of escape.  You waited, opening your eyes again, more to see what had stopped him from causing you pain, than from the overtly sexual touch, that he had protested distaste of.  Smirking, he looked over at the window, something moving the just out of your peripheral vision, a voice speaking to you that you couldn’t quite place. 

“Nobody is killing you either; Resistance Scum.”

You looked wide eyed up at Novak, completely and utterly perplexed at it all, was he going to allow somebody else to touch you?  Why not then bargain for that, not for him to be the one to bed you; no, it had to be your former thoughts, he just wanted to hurt you, to torture you.  Voice shaking from uncontrolled fear you couldn’t speak to him, couldn’t ask him what then, they going to do with you.  Had they really brought you here just to torture you, to play exactly the same sick games as Hux? 

Your views on what you were to Hux were skewed then.  You began to think carefully over Ren’s comments that if things had been different, if you were pregnant Hux would have never sent you to Novak, never agreed to this.  Ren had to have known Novak only had torture planned for you, he was too Force-adept not to have felt his intentions for you.  Had Hux sold your body to them, for this, for not having manged to conceive his child, or was this hidden plan for you all along.  Swallowing back the bile that burnt your oesophagus, you looked up at Novak in terror.  This wasn’t life or death, it was just pain, and that was why the gentleness with you tonight; Hux was easing his conscious, one good night before this.

“Hux banned anyone from discussing where you were from months ago, ever since Veers asked to fuck you.  Said you were just some unknown.  Just an obedient little slut, who had found favour with him, who’d agreed to carry children for him and that fucking Jedi-Killer.”

You tried protesting his story, horrified at Hux’s blatant lies; you had never agreed to anything they did to your body.  This whole time you were a prisoner, people were being told you had voluntarily given away your freedoms, your whole life. That had to be then, was why his sister was so friendly with you, why the attendant thought you so above her in station.  They believed you had offered your womb for this, that you thought it was an honour to be raped and sodomised by their fucking Emperor. 

The room span, how far did this sickening lie go.  Were people friendly to the Resistance, sympathetic to what had been the New Republic aware of your supposed betrayal.  Words would not come, and Novak would have ignored you either way, what was the word of a whore, to that of an Emperor.  He began cutting strips from your discarded dress fabric, rolling scarps of it into your mouth, filling it before tying a piece around your jaw.  It was tight, digging into your skin, and you jaw ached from the fullness, your mouth already dry with fear.  You let out a scream, the only noise you could will your throat to make, it muffled by the rags.  Ensuring any attempt at speech was useless, leaving you unable to voice your innocence or beg.  You were right to be scared of him; Novak was pure evil, and this was madness.    

“We tried poison, to ensure you couldn’t ever carry to term.  But it wasn’t effective enough, and we will not stand idle, whilst Imperial Pedigree is watered down, bastardized by the likes of you.”

Novak spoke, though there was movement behind you.  Another set of feet, the rasping breath of lungs not quite working.  You had forgotten that there were three people in the room, not just you two, and from the sound and smell of it the other person was not entirely well, or clean.  Novak pulled the knife across your hips, letting it drag slowly.  Leaving a shallow cut from hip, to hip, blood welling up through the few layers he had pierced with the blade. 

It all made sense now, he really wouldn’t kill you; that would not convey his message.  He need to just remove the part of you that mattered to Hux; your womb.  Leaving you useless and infertile, letting Hux be the one who had to decide to kill you, when you were no longer of any use to him.  Salt tears of terror ran your cheeks, Hux didn’t do failure.  He would never let you die after this, he would keep you alive, and the torture for your failure would be unbearable. 

“Veers, escaped the palace the night he asked for you, and Ren threatened to kill him.  Brought us this piece of information, in exchange for what Hux refused him.  He’s sick, he was going to die either way, so we may as well make his last night memorable.”

The dirty, scraggily man that now stepped into view, was much thinner than the portly Veers that haunted your memories of that night, though no less repulsive.  Much smellier, and impossibly viler, as he reached out one callused paw, gripping your ankle.  He trailed jagged finger nails up the inside of your leg, taking care to dig them hard into your skin as he went, leaving blood in his wake. 

Veers would take you first, you realised, his excitement evident through his thin layers of matted rags.  Then after he was done Novak would remove your womb, whilst you were conscious and without anaesthetic.  In his eyes this was as much your punishment for agreeing to water down old Imperial bloodlines, and Hux’s for not caring for them.  

The springs moved, as Veers climbed onto the bed.  The rough mud covered cloth; rubbing your soft and fragrantly clean skin.  He ran hands all over your body, as much taking time to appraise what he had clearly coveted for so long, as to watch your fear.  He took time to touch everywhere, wiping the mess of snot and tears from your cheeks, to taste the skin there.  

Something had gone horribly wrong, in Hux’s deal, for it to slip past Ren what was going to happen to you.  As much for his failure, as your own, there was no way either him, or Ren realised this was the intention for you.  If this was permissible they would have allowed Veers to fuck you sooner, on their own grounds. 

Not unless, a spine tingling cold-fear told you, this was his intention for you all along.  This was the fate worse than death.  Unable to give him what he wanted from you; would he whore you out.  Exchanging time in your cunt, for more bargains, but first you were to finally be given birth-control you’d wanted, a permanent one.  Veers’ breath washed over you, a foul stench making your stomach rebel.  You stilled it, not sure how you managed it, but knowing that if you did vomit there was no way of you spitting it out. 

“I’m going to untie you, whore.  I want to feel you struggle.”

Your hands released, but still held together, Veers settled himself between your legs.  Novak moving to where he could watch, not for sexual enjoyment, but out of pure hate for what you were.  He would drag this out, revel in the sheer terror you had, of being fucked by his compatriot. 

Swinging both arms together, you managed to get one hit on Veers, and in his haze managed to scramble across the bed.  You got as far as the floor, before Novak grabbed your wrists, holding them down for Veers.  Veers gripped your jaw hard, almost crushing it in his grip as his hands pushed your legs open.  You struggled, but there was no escape, this was it, he was going to fuck you and without the care to prepare your sex this would hurt, if it didn’t tear you.

A sudden bang and the door flew open.  A white clad Stormtrooper stepped through, more following him.  Novak had the presence of mind to stab one, before slicing his own belly open with his knife, viscera spilling from it like a waterfall, as he keeled over dying.  He would not risk giving away any secrets. 

Veers took a more cowardly route, trying again to escape through the open window, stopped by the emergence of a familiar black-clad titan, sabre drawn and ready.  Hair curling and tussled in the wind, his arm stretched as he pushed Veers back to the opposite wall, his face a mask of pure rage.  Veers slid down to the floor, either unconscious or dead, Ren ignoring him to prowl over to you arm outstretched still.  His eyes blacker than you had ever seen them, jaw set and hard, he was furious, you had failed again. 

One of the Stormtroopers checked over Novak for vital signs, two approached you both them and Ren trying to herd you back to the bed.  You were not going to comply, it was now or never!  Quickly you reached for the knife that had toppled out of Novak’s hand, stabbing it hard into the trooper’s foot.   Pushing it in hard enough to nail the foot to the floor, before pushing past another, making a leaping break for the corridor. 

You manged to make it, running down it. Not so much refusing to care, but to register that you were naked.  Nothing seemed to matter but your, escape, so intent were you on your flight.  Hux had used you.  This betrayal worse than the constant rape, this was what he intended you to be the bait for.  Not to allow the troopers to be stationed on Zeltros, but to catch the dissenters and traitors amongst the First Order. 

Heart thudding in your chest and your lungs burned with effort, you were not allowing yourself time to think.  Tearing the gag from your mouth; to breath deeper, taking in huge lungs of burning air.  It was never about providing him children, he just needed you to think that way.  To behave exactly as he had programmed your fear.  You really were just a mindless slave to him, one that may have genuinely attracted him, but either way you were dispensable, too easily replaced.  Your fingers tore at the collar around your neck, tearing chunks of flesh from it as you tried to pull it off you, unable to bear anything of him on you.  The delicate gold necklace coming away far easier than you expected in your hands.  Pulling your hair from its orderly array, tossing aside the matching piece at your head.  Behind you, footsteps thundered, and voices yelled; the heavy booted tread of Ren, coming closer.  You needed to find an exit, to escape and not give into the rising panic. 

Turning a corner, you found yourself in a narrower passageway, a set of stone stairs leading up.  It wasn’t ideal, but you needed to escape, if nothing else could you manage a window.  Either you would escape, or the fall would kill you, either one provided a solution, that didn’t mean returning to Hux.  You climbed them quickly; skinning your knees and palms as you went.  Using your hands to speed up your assent, running along a wider strip of dimly lit windowed hallway.

You gave a tearless sob of frustration all of them were closed, and with no sign of a latch.  You were growing tired, your breathing more laboured, the earlier adrenaline supplies running low, exhausted in part by your earlier struggles.  You reached the last one, lifting a cast iron statuette from a nearby plinth to break it.  Repeatedly smashing at the small panes of glass and stained wood.  Badly cutting your hand and arm; as you smashed both glass and the wooden frame, climbing onto the sill. 

You had almost made it out, when a set of hands wrapped your waist, pulling you back.  You fought them sobbing and screaming like a woman possessed as the dragged you onto the floor with them. They tried to pin you, even trying to wrap their legs around you for more leverage.  But you lashed out, the metal in your hand adding more weight as you brought it down hard onto the leg next to you. 

Its owner yelped in pain, and you took advantage of his surprise to make a fresh leap for the window.  This time stopped by Ren, his Force-command pinning you in place.  Stupidly you tried struggling against the invisible bonds, a waste of energy since it was the locking of your muscles that held you, not actual bonds. 

Ren moved behind you, taking time to enquire after the man whom you had it.  It shouldn’t have taken the well clipped, voice of Hux to let you know whom you had hit.  There was only one person that would demand his attention, before he dealt with a more pressing matter.  For the first time ever you heard Hux swear, and boy could he swear.  He let forth a string of expletives in a choice of several languages besides basic, as he struggled to walk in front of you.  Limping severely from the thigh you had hit, his face contorting with rage.

He backhanded you right over the existing swelling Novak had gifted you with.  The injured thigh making him unsteady, almost stumbling to the ground.  Ren running to catch him, Hux pushing him aside steadying himself at the last minute.  Your vision blacked and you saw stars, under no illusions that your cheekbone was broken this time.  Your jaw cracking, as you swallowed, agonizing even just to breathe.  The vision in your good eye cleared, the sight completely fading from that eye as it swelled shut.  Ren frowned, steadying his Emperor, before looking at you again, as though trying to work something out.  His cat like steps coming closer, arm outstretched at a level to your head.

At first you thought him about to draw more pain from you, until he tore memories of the last 24 hours from your brain, making you relive each sickening and horrifying moment.  You couldn’t speak, though you could imagine what he was looking for.  Pulling as much contempt for him as you could together in your mind, you tried to show it in your eyes, hoping he could feel it too. 

How beaten did you have to be before he believed you, would you having of died been enough?  Why would neither of them accept that in no way were you a threat to them, they had ensured you couldn’t be.  You knew nothing, nobody told you anything.  You had nobody and you had not had a willing part in Novak and Veers’ earlier plan.  Hux continued swearing at you, demanding you answer questions you brain wouldn’t let you focus on, using every choice name he could think of to insult you.  His usually pristine and correct appearance was a complete mess, hair falling everywhere, his face red both from effort and yelling at you.   

Bringing back his fist back again, to hit you again and again, and frozen in place you could only watch in numb terror, waiting for it to connect again.  Feeling the squish of flesh, the protesting of bones.       

“Hux, stop. Stop!”

To your absolute astonishment he did, turning his aggression to Ren instead.  Ren pulled Hux tight to him, a move that would have had lesser men killed.  Cupping the back of Hux’s head, leaning to speak into his ear, his voice too low for you to hear, Hux neither answering, nor looking back at you.  Instead slicking back his hair with his back to you, pulling down his tunic, and his clothing straight, before marching off down the corridor. 

Ren waited until Hux had gone, lifting you into his arms, your body going suddenly limp, as the Force-command to sleep reverberated through your brain.  Your body ignoring your screaming at it not to give in, to fight it, and instead falling into obliterating darkness.                


	16. Chapter 16

The world was dully lit to your pain sharpened senses, when you came around; your vision swimming with black spots at the edges.  You suspected it was just a thin matt you had been laid on, the floor chill and hard beneath it.  With something light and soft, such as sheets or a blanket covering you.  Your first panicked thought was that the room might be a prison cell but then the coverlet over you was too comfortable, and the room’s temperature too snug.  Beneath the lightweight coverlets, you were stark naked, and the linen smelt clean, to your heightened sense of smell.  There was no disinfectant smell, or sounds of apparatus; so, despite your aches and pains, it couldn’t be a medi-centre either.  It was all so disorientating, and hard to focus; your head felt full of wool.  How long had you been out for? Was it minutes or hours. Your wounds didn’t feel fresh, a slight smell of bacta and disinfectant suggested they had been cared for; so at least Hux wanted you physically intact.  Your mouth and throat were tender and so dry, your lips badly chapped, and there were slight hunger pangs; when was the last time you ate?  When you tried to run your tongue across your lips assess the damage; you could feel the healing splits and bruising on them from the various slaps and punches you had sustained. 

You tried to sit up, needing to assess what damage was done to your body, weakly pushing up off the cold floor you were laid on.  Everything hurt, and with your hands tied you couldn’t even feel to assess your injuries, and your mind felt foggy and disassociated, and you swallowed back a sob of fear.  Your last memories were of bolting, running from Novak, and Veers, and then of Ren practically hounding you to where Hux had managed to intercept you.  Not that you had realised it was him that had caught you, more you panic addled brain had just interpreted any sudden touch as dangerous to you.  Your escape had been so close, until Hux had been able to catch you, and too was odd.  Hux running, at all was odd, running after his wayward slave, far more so.  You remembered him beating you, thinking that finally you were going to die.  That at last you had made yourself undesirable enough for him to let you go.  That peace should only come in death, was of no real hardship by now.  You should have died long ago, that first day you were taken for your final interrogation, should have ended in your execution.  Instead you died a slower death, pulled a step lower to welcoming its cold embrace every day your body was made to serve their needs.  Logic told you, that if Hux had wanted to beat you to death on that landing; then you would not be breathing now.  That either he would have ensured you never woke, or that nothing Ren could have said would have stilled him in his endeavours. 

Hux had already made so many threats on what he would do if you misbehaved, of didn’t please him, that to wake at all was a miracle.  Breathing shallowly as not to upset the sharp pain in your ribs, when you shifted positions.  Your wrists were placed in individual magnetic cuffs, short chains looped through a ring in the wall behind you.  There was a familiar weight back around your neck, and clavicle as you breathed, and you could feel the comforting weight of well-acquainted, body warmed metal.  You touched it, enough give in the chain lengths to brush just the tips of your fingers across the well-remembered patterns.  That Hux had put you back into your slave collar, was comforting despite the starkness of your surroundings.  Your arms felt stiff, and unused, the one you had used to smash open the window, your prominent one throbbing with a dull sting in places.  Covered in something tight and the skin taught in places when you flexed them.  There was rattling when you moved, and an experimental tug; let you know they were very short chains.  It was too much effort to lift your arms, either you were weak; or they were very heavy. 

That was the other thing, what had he seen in your mind to make him stop Hux.  He’d never challenged Hux for how he treated you before, and you still knew nothing more that you did before.  Nothing Veers and Novak said to you would be anything they wouldn’t find in an interrogation, assuming Novak was still alive to undergo one.  Veers, would probably sing like a bird, he was a bully and a coward, and there was always a bigger bully.  That brought you a bitter sense of justice, if either man had survived they would at least pay for their betrayal of Hux, too bad you wouldn’t be there to see them suffer. 

“You would like revenge Pet?”

That had been Ren’s voice cutting through the semi darkness, adding another layer to your anxieties.  If he was here, hiding in the shadows, was Hux also?  Was he sat there, getting hard watching you flinch at his sudden words.  You had no answer, was it safe to say yes, or would that earn you another beating? Your legs, were not retrained and you tried an experimental kick they felt heavy and sluggish to move, the muscles pulling.  You struggled to your knees, instinctively placing yourself in a position of subservience, waiting.  

The roof lights switched on without warning, illuminating the large room you were in.  There were two padded arm chairs opposite you; two bodies lounging in them.  The Emperor in one, his hound in the other, it seemed fitting then that his whore was chained to the floor.  The room was sparely, but not frugally decorated, two doors leading from it, one you hoped was a refresher, the other you guessed to be the entrance.  The furniture in here was clearly here for use, and not the showy obscenely expensive pieces your bedchamber held, but there was plenty of it, even furniture to sit on.  There were large mirrors, and wardrobes though; this was most definitely a bedchamber, and not a prison, for all its lack of windows.     

Hux was resting his cheek on his hand watching you, as you bent your head low to him.  Ren naked from the waist up, a gold circlet of stars ringing his neck.  You understood a little more now, you were to have been a matching set last night.  Ren’s collar was heavier set than yours and would have, been hidden, but it was like the chastity belts, you both were to have been presented as his.  A long sigh, from Hux you guessed as it was him who spoke next to you.  His voice and body once more back under his control.

“Veers and Novak are dead, we have taken all we could from them.  We have unfortunately had to move you here though, to a place of safety.”

Your heart knew no shame or pity at Hux’s reporting of their deaths.  The unknown surroundings upsetting you more, though you knew better than to demand your location.  Both Veers and Novak had been out to hurt you, both to take something too costly from your fragile body.  You hoped they had died slowly, and painfully, and just as terrified as you had been.   

“It is good you show no remorse little-pet, what they planned to do to you was unforgiveable.”

His comment stank to high heaven with hypocrisy. Veers had been planning on forcing nothing on you more than Hux himself did, the only difference was that he probably would have ensured you enjoyed it less.  Novak had offered you a was no less invasive than being forced to take their cocks inside of you.  Taking a deep shaky inhale of air, you steadied yourself, trying to appear still docile to your captors.  If what they had done to you was to wrong, then why were you chained to the floor like an animal?

“I have helped you catch your traitors.  Will you kill me now please, or at least leave me for your precious Stormtroopers; they may at least be kinder than you.”

There was no anger to your voice just numb tiredness, you didn’t need reminding of his threats; just for him to do it.  There was no answer and you chanced a premature glace up at Hux.  His eyes had narrowed the sneer curling his lip suggesting distaste at your words, or maybe it was for looking at him unbidden.  You couldn’t look away now, watching the bob of his Adams apple, as he swallowed hard.  He went to speak, then swallowed again, closing his mouth as though to take a moment. He replaced what had seemed to be a look of angered indifference with a blanker look, prompting you to explain yourself.

“That is the threat you made; should I misbehave?”

Hux looked shocked, genuinely amazed by your comment, making you roll your eyes, refusing to look at him anymore. 

“That Ren or I would ever allow another to touch you, is ridiculous.  I must confess, I had thought you had guessed at least some of our plans; given my obvious goal for you.  Why you ran, and then assaulted me is beyond me.  Could you not see that Ren was there to remove you from the situation?” 

He sickened you, all of this did, this farce of a show of caring for your wellbeing.  He cared nothing for you, beyond the pleasure he found sating his sexual appetites.  He had sent you into that situation blind, believing they would hurt you, completely unaware that Ren would save you.  You a defenceless woman used as a lure to unsuspectingly draw out those two traitors.  All because he wanted to prove daddy wrong, and catch a runaway, all because he thought someone was poisoning you.  Where did this horrible pretence come from, how did he have the audacity to pretend that he cared about your wellbeing.  He kept your body whole, only to take it to pieces when it suited him, leaving others to repair your fragile shell.  But that wasn’t enough was it, you were tired, so very tired of him; of it all.  He had used you as bait to draw out Veers, to show his father his methods were more efficient; in what way was that worse than allowing someone else to rape you.  You hated him more so for the weeks of nervous waiting then, than the beating that evening.  The manipulating of your fear, teasing you to get an honest show of anxiety meant that last night was premeditated.  He knew he had been making you far more scared of Novak, than you needed to be.   Hux continued to watch you from his perch across the room, continuing his interrogation from a place of comfort as you grew more at unease on the uncomfortable matting.

“Why did you assault me for saving you Pet?  You were too high up, had you of successfully jumped; you would have fallen to your death.”

Yes, at that point it had seemed irrelevant whether you lived or died, just an overruling drive to escape.  That Hux had cornered you had saved your life then, for what little it was worth to you.  Your thanks then for his supposed rescue of his hysterical whore then, was for you to lash out at him, injuring him possibly; you didn’t know whilst he remained in that chair.  With less adrenaline in your system, you could remember the Stormtroopers who followed Ren, and the servants who hid along the corridor as Hux beat you.  They must have then, seen you raise your hand to their Emperor. That beating then, was to put you in your place, for running scared from him.  Was that what Ren had told him to make him stop, was hearing it from your own lips what he needed to hear.  Your voice was strangled, as you explained your reasoning for running, the incomprehensible fear you had experienced in that chamber.  You hadn’t known it was Hux, nor that Ren came after you to stop you from running, and when someone had tackled you, you had acted on instinct.  Your frustration grew in intensity as you poured it all out, speaking until it finally choked you.  Fat hot tears striping your cheeks, when you could no longer blink them away.  You couldn’t go on, couldn’t risk telling him that, the beating, although far worse than anything he had put you through was only physical.  Cuts and bruises would heal to nothing, the memory of what they put you through last night, would only ever be a breath away.  The distress he put you through to catch those men out was unpalpable.  Especially given that you now knew you had no reason to be exposed so ignorantly to it all.  Hux watched you with benevolent-indifference as sobs wracked your body, not moving at all to comfort you, simply looking across at Ren as he took sips of an amber liquid swirling in a glass beaker.  This the first time in an age you had been unable to stop yourself from sobbing in front of him.  This weakness disgusted you, for months you had managed not to give into to this, and now you couldn’t stop yourself.  If it affected him at all to see you distraught he didn’t show it, nor did Ren.  Reclining back in the arm chair provided to watch you, unaffected as a cat by its kill as he studied you unblinking.  His loyalty was to his Emperor, he had no feeling regarding you.  At a command from Hux, he stood to fetch both water to drink and a wash cloth for your face; granting you a view of his back as he stood. 

It was crisscrossed with welts and thin lines of bruising, some scabbed over where they had bled.  He must have had a great tolerance for pain, since he moved easily on a steady gait to come closer lowering himself to his knees before you.  From here you could see the lighter marks of undeveloped marks, and thin scratch marks that marred his flesh.  His eyes were red rimmed and the bags underneath held signs of little sleep.  Those marks came not from interrogation sessions or fighting, but from Hux’s touch; it had been a busy night for him then.

Ren’s hand touched your knee and it took everything in you not to flinch, against his touch. To show distaste for Ren, would just add another level to your previous and many infringements.  You stiffened though, moving your gaze to where his hand burned into you. The one hand stayed gripped at your knee, the other pulling your chin up to him, leaning to place a kiss there.  No, you thought, woodenly returning his kiss, wishing you had the guts to bite his bloody mouth; he was just going to fuck you instead.  Your body sore, and broken from the beating, so badly hurt that you needed medical attention.  Attention he wouldn’t allow you to have; and he wanted to have sex with you.  He was deplorable, a disgusting pervert, and you wouldn’t look at him.  Your face twisted into a scowl, unable to hide your revulsion at his touch.  Looking through him and at the wall beyond you, refusing to look at him.

Hux had said that they would not share you with another, not that he would not punish you, or get Ren to do a distasteful job for him.  What then was your punishment? a fresh thought came to mind, one that should have occurred to you earlier; there were worse things than what he had promised, things he had simply shown you instead.

“That thing on your ship, are you going to-?”

You trailed off, unable to continue, your mouth not even able to form the words of the supposed threat.  It was too heinous to ask about that monstrosity, and if that was to be your fate, you didn’t want to know.  You felt the tremor that ran Ren’s body, echoing your own darkest fear.  Did he feel what you had felt in the moment too then? That they would not only make you the ultimate in subservience to them, they would take ultimate control of your body from you.  His grip tensed for a moment, though in comfort or as a reflex to the shudder, you couldn’t be sure.  

It was Hux who answered, either having guessed, or had that information relayed to him through Ren; shaking his head to your imagination.  Hux kept his voice quiet; Ren’s hand at your knee stroking circles further up your leg and onto your thigh.  

“I you mean am I going to remove your brain?  No, that would at this present time defeat the purpose of using you to mother our children.  No Pet, your punishment for last night’s transgressions was borne by another.”

Your blood ran cold, so that thing was shown you as a threat.  A warning of a possibility for you should you not comply with their wishes.  What would he do then to you, if ultimately you remained barren, would that then be your fate?  Ren’s hand on your thigh squeezed, this time undoubtedly deliberate, as he spoke low into your ear, telling you to look up at him.  His hand caught your cheek, careful to cup the swollen flesh softly, leaning over to kiss you.  There was heat at his touch, not just from his skin, but something else strangely soothing, before it burnt in intensity causing you to pull back suddenly.  Your cheek felt on fire pulsing in a tattoo with the blood rapidly strumming your body. Little enough was known to you of the Force, but you knew it could be utilized for healing purposes, and now as you spoke to demand an answer to what he was doing, you could feel the freer movements of your face muscles.

“We cannot risk sending you to a medic, or healer.”

Ren spoke to confirm you understanding of what was going on; that he was healing you, his hands reaching for more damaged flesh.  His brow was slick with perspiration, despite the steadiness of his breath, the slow rise and fall of the deep filled lungs accentuating his sweat smeared muscles.  Like this he was breath takingly beautiful and so serene, a gentler side to the deadly predator.  Was this how he was alone with Hux, away from all prying eyes, was he this unnervingly gentle and calm?  Somehow you felt compelled to close your eyes to him, allowing your own breath to follow the tempo of his.  The steadiness helping to focus yourself through the pain; when it came to the agonising knitting together of broken bones.

He proclaimed himself done with a shallow groan, flopping forward to press his brow against the cool floor.  It must have cost him dearly in energy to mend your broken body, for him to appear weak before you. Or was it perhaps more that he trusted his mate to watch him, and protect him through his recovery.  Across the room Hux stayed seated; his glass now empty, the twitch in his positioning the only suggestion he would have gone to Ren.   Your fingers touched what had a moment ago, been painful and split flesh, breathing deeply to calm your unsettled nerves.  Why had they not just sent you to a medic, if they wanted you healed? Surely if another had taken the reminder of your punishment, then it was nothing to admit to his underlings that he had beaten as slave?            

You both stared at each other, Ren curled on his knees between you, slowly beginning to raise himself to kneel straight again.  He was pale, making the marks on the back of his torso stand out more defined than ever.  Your lips pursed in misunderstanding at that, unsure how he could allow himself to find enjoyment in that level of pain.  Your fingers itched to touch him, to help him, held in check by the memory of him chasing you, of everything that he did to make you run, he deserved to suffer this exhaustion.  None of this would have been needed if he had just let you die. 

He looked across at you, his own brow furrowing, dark brows knitting together in a frown, before he lunged at you, pushing your wrists back to the wall.          

“Pet, if we had of known, then you never would have been used in this way.  We did it to keep you safe, not to harm you.”

His voice wavered with emotion, half angry, half desperate; his cheek pressing to yours, as you fought fruitlessly to escape him, the manacles at your wrists making your struggle pointless. From across the room, Hux spoke his voice less precise than usual, less clipped and more emotional, than you had ever heard him.

“We risked more than we realised when we sent you, it would have been called off had we of known.”

There was such sincere regret in his tone that, your eyes needed to see it for themselves.  Snapping up at him, before you had a chance to stop them.  This was beyond disbelief; did he really think you that gullible.  What exactly did he not know about the situation, that would have changed things, was it something you knew, was that why the mind probe?  Hux lent forwards in the chair, folding himself over his knees to peer closer to you, tilting his head as he studied your reaction to his words. 

“You really don’t understand your own body, do you?”

You scowled deeply hurt and embarrassed, was that some sort of insult meant at you? No, you didn’t fully understand your body, at least not the less practical functions it required.  But that was their fault; they forced you to enjoy what they put you through.  You couldn’t remember when last you had control over it to understand it.  You’d understood it before, but now it was constantly pushed to behave in ways you had never thought about.  It was Ren who clarified his master’s words, shaking his head at Hux, before speaking his own explanation, making it so plainly spoken that you were forced to listen to them.     

“You don’t have periods; each time you bleed, they force you to miscarry.”

His hand slid over your hip, griping it gently, before bringing it to rest on your belly placing a kiss to your forehead.  The chill that ran your spine then was the worst either had yet to produce from you, and you swallowed, your empty stomach retching.  They both had to be lying, this couldn’t be real; how often had this cycle been repeated?  You didn’t know which was worse, that you had been forced to conceive, that you had been forced to lose a possible child, or that you didn’t know. 

“It’s not a rare thing for a woman to not notice, previously none of yours have ever passed the first month.”

Hux’s explanation was more assumptive of grief at miscarriage than fortune at not having been forced to bear him children.  So, that was their reasoning for the physical exam, before you left for Zeltros. They had wanted to be sure you were not pregnant, they were protecting any possible offspring, meaning genuinely if you had of been pregnant, none of this would have happened.  They would have found another way to confront Novak, and lure out Veers.  You didn’t know if this should comfort you then, that they wouldn’t risk you at your most vulnerable.  Or if this was more a warning that worse was to come if you didn’t hurry up and provide them with a child.  None of this still explained their remorse for having sent you.

It hit you suddenly, like a brick; making you furious with your own naivety.  It was there in their remorse, his well-structured voicing of his regrets.  The room swam, and your heart thudded in your ear as you cursed yourself for your innocence.  No, he would not have sent you, not because he never would have risked you, but that it could have harmed the thing he’d managed to implant inside you.  They had miscalculated alright, but it hadn’t been the risk they were putting you through, they had never for one minute thought you wouldn’t be able to survive that chamber.  But the stress of it all could have been lethal, to something else.

“So right now, am I?”

Hux moved to join you on the matt, kneeling to rub your arm, a nauseating parody of kindness.  Both men looked at you, Hux nodding as he spoke on their behalves.

“Yes, Ren believes so Pet; though no one else can know.  Not even a medic, until we find the source of the poison, and the groups ringleader.”

He’d said it himself, and yet it still didn’t ring true.  You could not find a way to fit it into your consciousness, it couldn’t be real, and yet it was.  Your retching started afresh, acidic bile spilling into your mouth.  Hux reached for the wrist restraints, beaten by Ren, who opened them with a wave of his hand, catching you as you flopped forwards.  Spilling your mouthful of bile on the arm of Hux’s pristinely clean clothing, your body burning as terror-sweats swept it.

You titled your face in Ren’s arms to watch Hux; he had to realise this was wrong, he had to understand what this cost you.  Vainly you looked between your captors, your eyes tear-soaked and red, wishing that there were some last vestiges of humanity hidden somewhere inside of their iron hard shells.  Ren nodded, when you asked if he was sure; his face so sincere, you knew he wasn’t lying.  You felt disassociated, your body wholly dysmorphic to itself.  What had you ever done that was that bad, that the universe sought to repay you this harshly.  Pleading with him not to make you do this, to find someone else; someone better suited; someone willing. You argued that he didn’t even know if biologically this conception was his, from the way he let Ren fuck you, almost in equal to him; it could just as likely be his offspring.  When your attempts at calm and reasoning didn’t move him; you yelled, pulling out every useless threat you could.  There was nothing you could do to stop him, you were defenceless to his wishes.       

Hux’s previous patience with you turned sour at your request to abort the fetus in side of you.  His eyes hardening to a glacial stare, his jaw hardening, Ren seemingly aghast with shock that you would even consider it.  You were no longer something precious and to be treated with respect.  You had tainted the moment, should you have been in awe of the situation?  Should you should have thought this some sort of honour?   

“You would have us murder our own child?  Is this such a burden Pet when I am told; that women are practically fighting one another for the honour I bestowed upon you.”

You tried to turn over, not sure if you were trying to run away, or just to make some distance between them.  Kicking out at Hux, as Ren pinned you tight to his body, ignoring your futile attempts to try to shove away from them.  In your alarm, you had forgotten to breathe, and now dizzy you sucked in air, arms twisted in Ren’s hold, as behind you Hux rubbed circles onto your back, Ren shushing in your ear.  Both were actions that from any normal possible father, would have been comforting.  From them they just felt wrong, and you recoiled as though burnt.  The tears finally returning, to fall into Ren’s chest.  Somehow this was worse than any punishment he had ever inflicted, he was forcing your body to the ultimate act of self-betrayal.

“Let one of them give birth to your precious little bastards then!”

The firm expanse of Ren’s muscles muffled your voice, but you knew both had heard it.  Ren loosening his grip to allow Hux to tear you from his arms, pinning your wrists to the matt, his face a mottled red of fury, as you cowered under him sure he was about to hurt you again.  The slap you expected didn’t come, and you struggled to shove him off again, but he lay flatter over you, his hands pointlessly pinning down what you could feel was your Force-stiffened Flesh. 

Hux’s face was pressed so close to you, that you could feel the vibrations of each enunciated syllable against your lips. 

“Never use that word in my presence again. You will mother my children, regardless of the father; they will be ours.”

His pupils blew wide as he spoke his quiet order to you; daring you to be defiant again.  It was never safe to defy him and you had done worse in your struggle.  It was irrelevant to him then, which parent fathered the child, it would still be as much his as Ren’s.  You could feel the hard lump in his pants, making you draw a sharp breath, swallowing hard as you stared fearfully back at those lust-filled eyes.  You didn’t dare anger him anymore, he was aroused and that made him more unstable, less predictable.  Was he going to take you; so far you had assumed his pleasure was only to serve a practical purpose.  Did your pregnancy then make you more attractive to him?  You were powerless to stop him taking what he wanted, and with Ren at his side he was made bolder.  You whispered your question of why, his fingertips swirling in strands of hair laying in strands at your neck.  He didn’t answer; instead pressing you harder into the bed; his body as possessive of you, as his voice was at his children. 

“I am Emperor of the known galaxy, it is not for you to question me.  You are my possession and as such you will do as I say.”    

It was the first time he had ever spoken what you had suspected, you were literally collared and owned.  You really were his pleasure slave then, and child you produced whilst so would legally belong to him then.  Your child would be his, and Ren’s; but never yours.  That was the worst part about them using you as a broodmare, that you would conceive and carry their children; but you wouldn’t mother them, that much was a lie.  He would not want you tainting the fragile minds of his children, with their Resistance sympathies.  It be taken from you at birth, and brought up thinking you were worthless, or worse still that you didn’t care; either way was unbearably cruel. 

Hux arched his neck, bending lower to kiss you, but you turned you head to the side.  Too sick at the sight of him to allow your programmed obedience to let him touch you.  When instead he kissed your cheek; you shuddered, and as his lips moved lower; tried to shuffle his head away.  He kept trying, each press of his lips met with reluctance from you.  He growled, holding your head between both hands, to kiss you, Ren reaching to pin your wrists as he slid lower, parting your legs to stare at you, running his hands over your abdomen.

“It’s early days yet Pet; but imagine you, barefoot and practically naked, chained to my throne for all to see you.  Your belly swollen with our child.”

Now that you understood more, you could see Hux’s fascination for you moulded itself around your body.  His repulsion for you when you bled and he failed to achieve his goal, was taken as a personal insult by him.  His mouth pressed to the skin above where your womb resided, in a series of kisses; his voice husky with breathless adoration, as he promised to keep you safe this time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to anyone who has got this far and only just discovered were this was going, I've tried to drop hints. So I hope you're not all appalled at it


	17. Chapter 17

The place of safety Hux had insisted on moving you to, was an ambassador suit on the flagship Star-Cruiser in orbit of Zeltros.  Each day, he and Ren left you aboard the ship to return to the planet, to take care of supposed business, returning each evening to sleep in an adjoining chamber.  The second door you were to discover, led to a shared living quarters, their bedroom another door from it, the main door requiring both an DNA check and a code.  Nothing you had taken with you planet side, was allowed back on board the ship, and the clothing and few cosmetics you had left on board were destroyed. 

A stiff, and uncomfortable First Order uniform was provided for you to wear daily, and ship stocked toiletries provided for your hygiene needs.  A simple brush lent to you from Ren’s supplies to comb your hair each day.  They were taking no chances with anything, nothing touched you, that they didn’t first check.  Ren choosing each garment at random, from the quarter-masters stores.       

It was odd to be so plainly dressed around the Emperor, and the trousers felt rough on your legs after spending so much time bare legged under skirts.  It was a far cry from the decadent change of dresses, Hux had ordered you placed in daily.  The clothing thankfully was far more modest than your daily wear, and you were pleased to for once be covered up by your clothing, no lewd show of flesh on display for Hux and others to ogle over.  At night time, and any other periods of time when either men were in attendance; you were left free to wander to chambers, though you mostly kept to your bed.  When left alone, they took no chances with you escaping; returning you shackled by your collar to the restraints at your matt.  Both Hux and Ren seemed ecstatic, and for what little time they spent around you seemed loathed to let you out of their sights.  One or the other constantly watching you, their attention firmly on the none-existent signs of your belly.  On your behalf, you remained almost catatonic, and silent.  Not able to sum the energy to do much more than follow the simple tasks they set you.  They would leave you with a cover, and water meaning; it wasn’t overly uncomfortable, just demeaning to be chained up like some animal, their little pet. 

The first day they had left you with a days-worth of food, ships rations from the quarter-master’s supply cupboards, plain and unappealing cold and grey gloop.  It had made the refusal of it easier, and so the first day you had eaten nothing, chastised by both Ren and Hux for denying your body it’s needed nutrients.  You had ignored them, bringing your legs tight to make your body a small ball, wrapping your arms around them, whilst resting your head on them to stare unemotive at the men.   Hux held a filled spoon out to you, but you shook your head, you would take nothing you were not forced to, from this man.  This thing, this monster could leave you to rot for all you cared; he had broken you enough now.  They didn’t care about what you ate, more that your body was being treated as an incubator for their child.  That was where the real concern lay you realised, trying to refuse the evening meal that Hux had provided you with.  Ren had taken over at that, a flick of his wrist commanding you to calmly eat the remainder of your food and the missed piles of slop.  Your body gave your mind no chance to rebel, resonating with disgust as you placed the plastic spoon to your mouth, forced to swallow every mouthful.  You had felt sick by the end, your stomach distended with three meals forced into your body at once.  Ren’s threat to repeat the action, the next evening should you refuse anymore meals, ensuring you ate what you could in the day time.       

If the days in the company of your silent handmaidens on Naboo were bad, here alone for hours to sit in the empty chambers was worse.  The first four days they fastened you to the chains at the wall, leaving you dressed and covered with a blanket for extra warmth, but with no way of escape.  It was havoc on your bladder come the fourth day, and almost impossible come the fifth. 

That evening when they had returned you had ran for the refresher, not quite managing to pull both the trousers and regulation panties out of the way; before your bladder gave up holding out.  For the second time since being held prisoner, Ren looked on as helplessly you wet yourself in front of him.  The humiliated anger braking you briefly from your lethargy, as you collapsed onto the seat, sobbing as you ripped the soiled clothing from around your legs.  You tossed them hard away from you, the fabric landing somewhere on the tilled refresher floor with a wet slap.  Ren had just watched you, neither moving to touch you, or backing out; waiting calmly as you screamed at him that this was his fault, they should have known you needed regular access to a toilet.

Hux had entered at that, his face blank, though his eyes running distastefully to the pile of soiled laundry.  He was still wearing the greatcoat he had donned to go planet-side, the more military dressed Hux reminded you of the man the Resistance had face in battle.  A ruthless man, who had stopped at nothing to attain his position of Emperor.  Hux looked over at Ren then set his attention on you, the slow well measured steps pacing slowly towards him, his well clipped voice demanding an explanation as he stripped off his coat handing it to Ren.  The tunic he wore underneath it was more that of an officer, than his stately robes, just a double set yellow of banding on one sleeve; but still pristine.  No golden insignia on his brow and no brocade piping to the collar and shoulders.  Though no doubt the military robes read his rank as Emperor; the First Order insignia on his breast and left shoulder embroidered in a dull gold thread. 

You drew yourself smaller, growing pale at having to admit to him of all people that you had lost control of your bladder, and wet yourself like and infant.  Silent and controlled once more, worried that he would find it as morbidly appealing as the last time you had peed yourself.  He picked up the dirty clothing, tossing them and the black gloves he wore into the refresher’s garbage chute, before turning on the taps in the small bath basin, under the suits shower.

He ordered Ren to find clean clothing, dabbing at your eyes, as he calmly and dispassionately assured you that these things happened, that your body would go through more changes before they were done.  This close to him, you could smell his cologne; the mix of lemon and sandalwood flooding your nostrils, your mouth watering as your tummy revolted at the usually familiar scent, your head spinning.  Something in it smelling wrong to you, making your stomach flip hard, and turning quickly to vomit, you retched bright yellow bile into the nearby sink.      

“Do you have any other symptoms; any pain or previous nausea?”

You mumbled a low no, running the tap over the sink to swill away the mixture of bile and undigested food, cupping a mouthful of the water to swill the taste from your mouth.  He asked then what had set it off, removing his clothing and pulling the remainder of yours off you, for good measure.  Ushering you into the nearby wash unit with you.  The basin under the shower was small, but enough for you both to sit in as he filled it with more water, using a scentless soap to scrub himself clean.  Done with removing the offending scent from himself he reached over to where you sat silent in the water in front of him, dabbing at your spine with the wash cloth.

What would he do for you if you did, he wanted you in this state didn’t he?  There was no way of asking for medical help, he had already told you nobody could know so you would have to suffer through it, unless it was life threatening.  A horrified thought came to mind then, what if there were complications, what if there was something life threatening?  It didn’t matter to him that you survived, just the child, was that what he planned to enjoy then; your suffering?  Ren’s rumbling voice cut through your worried thoughts.  Drawing your attention to where he lounged against the doorframe.  He held a bundle of black cloth in his hands, waiting as Hux wet your hair, soaping shampoo into it, speaking to you as you closed your eyes to protect them from the soap.

“These are early days yet Pet, and your symptoms are unusually early, without my Force-abilities we would be none the wiser.  A midwife will be sought, when it is safe to do so, we will not risk you.  In the meantime, there are more natural remedies I can procure for you if you need them.”    

Hux rinsed your hair, adding conditioner from a bottle you suspected was more for Ren’s use than his own.  Combing it into your hair with as much skill as your handmaidens, before swilling water over it.  You were told to turn around in the water, and more soap lathered onto his hands to clean you front, telling you to kneel, so he could rub it around your sore stomach.  He was gentle with this washing, almost caring as he cleaned you, his hands firm but soothing on the tired, over overworked muscles of your abdomen.  

You hissed as it ran the cloth over your breasts to wet them, gritting your teeth.  Drawing forwards on reflex away from him to curl protectively on yourself when his fingers passed across one nipple.  They were more tender, and strangely more sensitive to heat, making the water too hot on them to begin with, his touch unbearable.  You looked up at Hux, waiting for your reprimand for fidgeting, waiting for either a warning or a punishment.  Neither came, just a raised eyebrow in thought; before he touched the cloth more gently to the other areola, squeezing more water from the cloth rather than scrubbing the nipple.  That sensation was as much pleasurable, as there had been an edge of pain to it with the flowing water.  The effect different, water hadn’t been something to set you off before, it normally took a more firmer touch.  He swallowed then, setting his jaw as he moved to rub more soap nonchalantly into your arms.

“Ren might have been right, how long have you been more sensitive for Pet?”

You shook your head, knowing that if he pressed, you couldn’t answer him, running absentminded circles in the water, with your fingertips.  Ignoring the looks that flew above your head, as Ren straightened up, coming closer to help you from the bath.  This was something else about your body, you clearly didn’t understand; and they were keeping you deliberately in the dark about it.  You knew a moments wave of anger, before dismissing it as not worth it, you would have no say in the final outcome of this pregnancy, so why bother worrying.  Best to accept that they would tell you when they were ready, if they ever decided to share their discussions about it, after all you were just an unwilling surrogate.

Ren coughed, and blinking you stepped out of your reverie, moving quickly to grab Ren’s outstretched hand.  He smelt faintly of the outside, of tress and water, of mechanical oil and burnt metal.  He had been somewhere today, beyond the boundaries of the official dwellings, what had they been up to?  Both of their clothing wasn’t the usual stately garb they wore for audiences and functions; where had they been today?  Either the bath was slippery, or you took a small dizzy spell the room tilting, as Hux stood quickly to steady you.  He methodically checked you over, despite your scowling, pressing his fingers to your pulse point, before wrapping a small towel around his waist, keeping your arm as he helped you out.

Ren almost pulled you from him, as your feet touched the bathmat.  Wrapping a much larger towel around your shoulders, using a smaller one to dry you off.  Neither men were that concerned that they would get a medic, you thought haughtily not daring to voice your concern, as Ren moved the fabric over your torso.  He was mindful of your sensitivity when he touched your breasts and abdomen, careful even to press his chest softly to you when he was close.  Done he handed you to a now dressed Hux, who had been watching Ren as much as you.  He unfolded the cloth, pulling your arms and legs through the regulation First Order issued pyjamas.  You wanted to protest that you were perfectly capable of seeing to yourself, couldn’t they back off and provide you with something you needed.   

You had the urge to pee again, and they left you to your absolutions, telling you to come through to them when you were done.  You pushed out your time there, not wanting to join them, the low mumble of their voices, flitting through from the living room, eventually drawing enough on your curiosity to coax you through to them. 

They were discussing something quietly, sat together on one sofa.  Their heads bent low together, but an obvious place left for you, giving you a signal to go sit down.  You ignored it choosing to push your luck, and return to the bed in the separate room.  Claiming exhaustion, in the hopes of being left undisturbed, as the door slid closed behind you.  You had done less to earn punishments than refusing him and Ren this evening, tonight it seemed he was letting it slide.  You couldn’t say why this unnerved you, but it did, not used to seeing Hux like this.  Clearly your pregnancy was why he wouldn’t seriously hurt you, or whore you out.  Selfishly you pondered if it was better to be in this safe condition around him, then reprimanded yourself sharply for such a callus thought.  No what he was doing was cruel, and to more than just you, two lives would be affected in nine months’ time; yours and his offspring.  Or did he want that, to make his child, as cold and as unfeeling as its fathers, as dismissive of anyone else’s emotions as they were?  So many thoughts, your head almost alive with worry, and in with all the forced solitude it was impossible to turn the thoughts off, the anxiety almost eating you alive.  They seemed happy to leave you to it, and you flopped onto the bed, pulling the covers over yourself to make a protective tent.  Curling your arms around yourself, tucking your knees tight to make you a small ball of limbs, chewing on your lip as you waited, eventually falling to dreamless sleep. 

You awoke sometime later, aware of an extra presence in the room.  Hux stood in the doorway, his attention focused on you, as you peered out from beneath the covers. 

“This ennui had lasted long enough.  We realise that you are tired, but if you will not come and sit with us, you need to at least come and eat.”

His voice was calm, but full of the weight of previous warnings as he came closer, your body responding on instinct to the possible threat; curling tighter on yourself.  His gaze remained firmly trained on you, and as usual completely terrifying in its scrutiny, as you peeked out of the covers of the small bed.  What would you have given to have remained beneath his notice; to never have volunteered that fateful day.  He stood at the side of your bed, and you ignored him.  Stared down the bed, over past your feet to the wall beyond.  Ignoring the rise and fall of his chest in the corner of your vision.  After a while his face softened, and his breathing eased off, making him sigh loudly, as he sat down on the same side of the bed as a bedside table.  Lifting the beaker of water, you kept there in offering to you, as he asked you again to come through for food.

“Please eat Pet, the baby needs it.  Kindly do not make me force you.”

You rolled over, turning your back to him, scoffing at his supposed concern, trying not the laugh at the plea.  When had he ever not forced you, when had he not enjoyed doing it?  You informed him bitterly that you were not hungry, wondering how he could expect you to be in this condition. He sighed laying out on the bed behind you, the smaller single mattress meaning he was laid practically at you back.  His hand walked the back of your arm, stroking up to lift the hair from the back of your neck.  His fingers spreading in small circles as he rubbed along your spine, and shoulders, deepening the pressure to press into your aching muscles.  The action strangely soothing once you allowed yourself to forget whose hands were on you, releasing what you hadn’t realised was days’ worth of stress-tensing.    

It was awful to have to accept the touch of your enemy as comforting, but it was the only touch they allowed you, and you were so lonely.  Whilst your pride told you not to accept it to hold out, there was enough of you to sensibly realise it was better to accept it.  If this time you carried to term, there were worse side effects to come, and you needed them onside.  Better to think of it as using them, as much as they abused you, than to make this harder on yourself than it needed to be.

His kiss pressed to the back of your neck, below the band of the collar, and too well trained to his touch, you held out from pulling away.  You were already pushing it with your refusal to eat, you didn’t want to take it too far, unsure where to draw lines, knowing it was only a matter of time before his patience with you turned sour again.  His mouth kept work on the muscles of your back, his nose nudging against the one injury from that night Ren had not Force-healed; the bite mark he had imprinted on your flesh, before sending you to Novak.  Even now, the healed flesh was still in the stages of healing, the puncture wounds still raised and angry, leaving the new skin more receptive to his touch.  It made you shiver in his arms, the relaxed muscles leaving you floppy enough already, as he worked the shivers down your spine.  He pulled you to him, an arm around your waist, the other pushing your head forwards, lifting the still damp tendrils of hair, twisting it to hang over your shoulder. 

Cold air rushed past your neck, as he inhaled deeply through his nostrils, tightening his grip on you, fingers splaying over your stomach.  His cock was stirring in his pants, and you could hear the subtle changes in breathing, that backed up his apparent arousal.  Seeing it as the current lesser to two currently offered evils; you numbly offered to go get some food, stopped by the second arm wrapping above your breasts.  He mumbled that you smelt good taking another breath of your skin, a shock since the only products you had been given to use, were the scentless troop soaps, maybe it was Ren’s conditioner. 

He ran nails over your skin, lifting your shirt off your belly, to under your breasts.  Licking his thumb to slip around the nipple under your sleep shirt, the added lubricant of his saliva making it easier to skim the flesh around your nipples, without catching on the change in textures.  His touch made feather light, on the over receptive flesh, as he ran circles around the areola, barely brushing them.  His other hand stroked up, splayed out on the skin above your navel, his thumb trailing under the sensitive skin of your breasts. 

You gasped, instinctively pressing your thighs closed knowing as you rubbed them together, that you could smell your arousal as your panties slicked up.  Blushing you checked your behaviour reigning back your libido, closing your eyes to concentrate as your breath came in shallow pants, trying to control the effect his touch had on your well-trained body.                 

“It is perfectly normal to need sex, especially now.”

You blushed, he knew his touch was bringing alive your tired flesh, couldn’t he take what he wanted and leave you?  He pulled your mouth to his, kissing you as he climbed over you, pressing you onto your back, nuzzling at your neck with both his mouth and nose.  One leg between your thighs, the other bent to keep his weight off your tender tummy, his forearms resting either side of your head. 

He played with your hair, stroking your face and neck.  Running fingers around your mouth as he repeatedly bent to press his own to you, leaving you with some macabre fascination at his gentleness with him.  Beneath the hazy layers of growing desire, you felt sore, and tired, too washed out to fight them, hoping that he would keep to this softness.  You lacked the spirit and energy to be pushed through whatever energetic play they wanted tonight.  You didn’t understand how either of them could want you like this, pale and sickly.  Your face plain and clothes so unflattering you couldn’t understand why he touched you.  Didn’t they normally take care to present you like some beautiful sex doll, painted and preened for each of their perverted fantasies.   

“Hux, tell her she’s still beautiful.”

Your mouth pulled in a grimace, shooting daggers at the newly arrived Ren lounging at the door.  He was in your head again, he had seen your insecurities and now saw fit to draw them to the surface.  You snapped short that trail of thoughts, not wanting him to see anything else he could use against you.  Chastising yourself for letting your mind wander that way; when had you become so vain for that to matter, surely it was better this way.  Hux declined to answer, though his body bellied any hint that it was a refusal to accept Ren’s breathy suggestion, more that he didn’t feel the need to speak it.  The man swallowed, his eyes darker still in the pale lighting.  His stare doing more to keep you pinned than the body above you.    

Complements from either man were few; and never as direct as this, never had he told Hux to give you praise.  That you needed it was astounding to you; you had thought yourself indifferent to their opinion of you, and more so was the shock of disappointment when the approval for your countenance never came.  It wasn’t something you should take to heart you told yourself, as much as you rebuked yourself for needing to comfort yourself.  To Hux it wasn’t you but the thing they were incubating inside of you, that made them reluctant to leave you alone right now.  They needed you close by to monitor their supposed heir, otherwise you were just another one of their whores and would have been kept caged until they had need of your body.  

Ren however in awe of you right now, and worshipped you accordingly full of breathless astonishment, as Hux moved aside to let him touch you, before pulling the dark-Jedi into a kiss.  Ren at least was not shy about telling either of you his current feelings towards your body, his mouth working at your shoulders and neck, and his fingers soft where they cupped your breasts.  Hux behind you trailing his tongue up your spine pulling your mouth back, breaking his hold on Ren’s mouth to replace it with his, whilst you remained sandwiched between them. 

Both hands ran your body in constant appraisal, Hux giving into Ren’s suggestion that he talk to you, to encourage you.  Each part of you receiving its own praise from them for how it would change.  How your body would remould itself for their child’s use; how beautiful you would look.  That was harder to swallow down than their indifference, you didn’t want to be beautiful, you didn’t want your body to be used.

Ren’s mouth reaching for a nipple, as Hux pulled you onto his lap, making you squirm beneath them both.  Annoyed as much at yourself that your body answered to them, as to their relentless objectification of you.  Why was it that they continued to wring pleasure from your body, long past having achieved their goals for you, couldn’t they move onto another now? Couldn’t they use a properly trained whore, or each other not you; for this.

Hux’s fingers slid lower, running your inner thighs, his spare hand tugging at his lover’s cock, pulling it from the confines of his robes.  A hand for each of you, as Ren’s tongue slipped over your lips, dipping inside of your mouth, moaning as his hands cupped your breasts.  They weren’t rough with you, their touches feather-light where it called for it, gentle butterfly kisses against your tender skin.  Your body was too used to their touch, not to give into their expert teasing, the fear of refusing them in your condition making you slicker.  Hux’s finger’s pushed inside of you, watching your cheeks colour furiously red at him finding you so wet.  His brows raised to you in question, his fingers coating themselves in it; before bringing that to his lover’s lips, smearing it there for him to taste. 

“Still you blush, can you not simply allow yourself the pleasure it brings you?  When will you learn that, there is no need for this guilt, because I choose to keep you.”

You had to close your eyes quickly to quell the rising tears, and to bite back the shaking sobs that would lead to his displeasure.  The trail of kisses over your shoulder, making you draw in shaky breaths.  You hadn’t considered that, that you should feel guilt, and now it jolted you to self-loathing, at having missed a chance to further punish yourself.  You had been too preoccupied with your own misfortunes to consider your fortunes in relations to those of the other captured soldiers.  You still being alive and although lonely, still better kept than the other Resistance prisoners.  Those that you had failed to save when he offered you a chance, had died horribly but instantly.  But what about those that you had saved, would they have willingly swapped what these men asked of you, for comfort of your gilded cage, or would they prefer a filthy cell?  Your heart told you no, that you betrayed them by even considering his comment, whilst your head reasoned he was in many ways right, none of this was your fault, none of it was ever your doing.  You hadn’t been given a choice, and so hadn’t picked, to fuck your enemy.  But that worked both ways didn’t it?  Did he really believe his own perverted lies, that there was no shame in fucking a Resistance member?  That there was nothing wrong with his loyalties in wanting to sleep with the enemy, with wanting you? 

Drawing one last breath you opened your eyes, looking down to Ren.  Him licking every inch of his masters fingers, running his tongue across the knuckles to find the trace taste of you.  His master watching with lowered lashes as he did, his cock strumming with blood at the sight, straining against the fabric of his trousers, desperate to be free.  Humming Hux placed his digits into his mouth, fucking him with them, as Ren sucked them clean.  His eyes black, and lust glazed as they looked down at you, his mouth full of his lovers fingers and the taste of your cum.

No, there had to be shame, once his lust filled haze was done, why else were there so many lies spoken about you just had to look for it.  That why no one was to speak of your background, of how he had acquired you, because he was ashamed of his whore, that you would be where his heirs came from?  Underneath all of his posturing as supreme Emperor; his children could be called out for being his bastards, and their mother revealed as being tainted with Resistance-Scum sympathies.  Hux coaxed your shame out of you, to cover his own.  Knowing that if he was seen to be rough with you, and uncaring before others, this could be seen as a form of torture by those that knew what you really were; his prisoner. 

The offer from him and Ren to be gentle with you was likely an poorly timed mistake on his behalf, an attempt at relaxing you for the public appearance the next day.  The back draft of that, you showing him up in public, with your attempted escape, and assault of him.  How had he played that down then, if nobody was to know of your background? Was it whispered behind their backs in corridors and servant passageways, by those who planned the attack on you the other night, that their Emperor was consorting with the enemy? 

“You’re ashamed of me, why?”

The snarl you received shouldn’t have taken you by surprise, not the way he flung you to the bed.  Hux cupped your jaw roughly between pointed finger tips, turning your face to him, his eyes searching your face.  A guarded look that suggested more sadness then he would ever let on to feeling flitted across his normally impassive stare, his voice belying that neutrality.

“I am above such petty emotions as shame, Pet.  Nothing I do is without reason, and it is not for the likes of you, or any other commoner to question me!”  

He spat your name out like bitter poison, and there was genuine passion there when he spoke.  His anger at your question cutting you to the bone, to be quickly cut again, as he continued.   

“I feel nothing for you, beyond what services you perform for myself and my consort.”

It was like a dash of iced water to your fury, and it stung more than you had ever expected it to, but probably no less than he had calculated it to.  That little reminder of what they had reduced you to, sobered you up and you took hold a hold of your melancholy, angrily reminding yourself of the heinous crime they were committing right now, that was worse.  They had no need to keep forcing your body, and worse they had never had any for forcing you to enjoy it.  Driven more now by your own stupid furies, your anger took control of your mouth, quashing down your sensibilities. 

“Am I really worth the risk to your precious heir then?  Why not give in and take a wife, surely that is better than risking your _bastards_.” 

His hand gripped your neck, pressing tight enough to make you struggle, the webbing between finger and thumb digging painfully into your windpipe.  Your pulse rushing through your ears, as you gasped in shock for breath, had you overestimated your worth to him as a surrogate?

“I told you to never use that word around me, and never, ever use it in reference to my children again!”

It piqued your imagination, before he blinked returning to a cold hearted, chill stare making you back off quickly. If there was a more there, then to protect you, you wouldn’t ask for the explanation of it.  You didn’t need to know that badly, your future was more pressing in its need for answers.  Breathing deeply, he quickly pressed his mouth over yours, pulling back his grip to let you breathe, your nose desperately pulling in air, as in fear you obeyed his mouths demands.  The gentleness he had exhibited in his previous touches swallowed in that possessive kiss, as he unfasted his slacks pushing open your legs for his cock.

He moved to take you quickly, his hand around your neck as he pounded into you, the other gripping painfully at your hip, all previous concern for you gone as he tossed you over sliding again inside of you as his thumb dug into your ass.

“I believe my promise to have this hole again, is overdue by now.”         

You tensed at that, petrified that he would take you there without either preparation or lube.  It was Ren then who dispelled that fear, his absence only just registering as he returned to the room, leaning over you to kiss his Emperor before a cold drizzle hit the crack of your ass.  There was a moments thankful relief for Ren, it was lube; Ren as always having anticipated his masters wishes in the bedchamber and saving you from what could have been the most painful fuck of your short life.  Two sets of hands ran the crack, before the wet slapping of Ren’s hand stroking Hux’s cock; as another finger joined the thumb in your ass. 

Hux pushed you off him, Ren sliding under you, when ordered to by Hux.  His cock ready, hard and throbbing as you were half guided, half ordered onto it it’s girth stretching your pussy, as he kept you seated on him.  Your small legs straddling his large frame, his cock anchoring you in place for Hux’s fingers as they worked the last vestiges of resistance from your asshole.  Hux’s cock twitched impatiently as he slowly worked it into your ass, each pulse of blood running through it making your ass clench in exquisite pain, until he joined Ren balls deep inside of you.

The moment you needed to accustom yourself to the fullness of the two cocks wasn’t allowed, Hux working you to a slow frenzy.  The cock in your ass making your pussy tighten like a rubber glove against the one there, rubbing each bump and vein along the crevices of your moist passage.  The width of Ren’s hips rubbing your clit over his pubis, each combined thrust into you, more pleasure than they had ever forced on you before.  Somewhere it registered that this was bad, whilst your well-trained body argued not to think, your body growing taught as they gained speed, Hux’s hand around your waist, gripped tight for each snap of his hips.

The command to cum was aimed at Ren and not you, but your body let go all the same.  The throbbing of Ren’s cock pulling a second, slightly weaker orgasm from you causing Hux to let go inside of your ass as he gripped on to you to steady his panting chest, keeping you from flopping over onto Ren.  Hux pulled swiftly from you, briefly cleaning his cock on your bed covers, before storming off, stopping to impart one last taunt.

“See Pet, all you are is just a Resistance trained bitch, one with a well-trained, pretty little cunt.  Or did you think you were worth more to me?”

Another wave of nausea hit, this one emotional and painful on your empty stomach as you forced back the dry heaving.  Why, your frustrated brain argued, had you ever seen fit to question him.  Far from dissuading you, his angry taunting had confirmed your suspicions, Hux never, ever had reacted like that to any of your vocalised taunts.  Something about his dealings with you shamed him.  He had neither punished you, nor stripped something from your fragile shell, but you felt worse than if he had whipped you.  The chill of realisation, running cold chills up your spine, almost forgetting to breathe under the weight of realisation, that without meaning to he had both answered your suspicion, and left you with a hundred more burning questions.       

Ren’s arms held onto you, as his cock softened inside of you.  His voice was breathless with the chase of his pleasure as he shushed you.  A pleasure that he carved out of you at a cost you had never agreed to pay.  More angry tears had welled up from Hux’s taunt, ones that you desperately held onto.  Determined he would not see you cry as you looked to the wall opposite.  Your tears splattering onto your chest, as your own body shook hard at the lost battle.  Ren’s hands moving to rub your back, ignoring your attempts at shrugging them off you.  His voice kept low, rumbling in your ear as he spoke facts, yet somehow more hurtful and confusing than Hux’s taunt.

“Don’t push for answers little Pet, he doesn’t know how to fail yet.”  

  

         


	18. Chapter 18

There had been another full week aboard the Star-Cruiser orbiting the planet. Seven more days of close quarters with the two men.  They didn’t chain you up again, having worked out they couldn’t push your already changing body, much further.  Hux choosing to remain aboard the ship with you as your guardian, neither man trusting you to be left unsupervised.   

Ren disappeared to the surface of Zeltros sometime before you were woken each morning cycle for food.  The first visit he was gone a complete cycle, and some of the next without returning to the ship, leaving Hux visibly agitated.  He spent the time conveying messages over a selection of coms devices, as he paced the floor of the chambers with badly concealed anxiety, waiting for Ren’s return. 

Hux seemingly paid no real attention to you, as you flitted quickly between your bedroom and the refresher.  Busying himself with his seemingly endless work, as he waited for his lover.  A selection of holo and data pads never far from his reach.  Sometimes Ren would arrive late, Hux pulling his immense head down swiftly for a kiss, before bundling him into their bedchamber.  Pointedly closing the door on you, no doubt to hear his report, and to allow each other comfort in one another’s bodies.

You both despised and feared being alone with Hux in equal measures.  Still unable to work out what his current issue was with you.  That someone as vile as him could feel remorse for the way he treated you, wasn’t even debatable.  His cock grew hard at every struggle, he enjoyed the cruelty he heaped onto you.  Surely if it was the base blood you would taint his offspring with, then he would just remove that from the equation, one way or another.  So, what was he ashamed of, how did you shame him?

You would have probably chosen Ren as your preferred companion, until the third morning; when you had overheard Kylo suggesting a bucket, as a possible solution to your refresher needs, if Hux wanted to come with him so badly.  Hux’s shocked cry of no Ren, was not the answer you had expected, making you forget to strain your ears to hear the more quieter spoken portion of his reply. The desperation in that no, brought to mind Ren’s counsel that Hux didn’t know how to fail yet.  Another set of riddles for you to decipher; what did Hux have to fear failing in?  Was it a warning from Ren that if you failed to carry to term, his lover could become more unpredictable?  They had argued longer, Ren roars deep, straight to the point and full of heated angry-passion.  Hux’s voice crisp, his voice quieter, and his retorts much lower, no doubt wanting to seem the voice of reason.  You had distanced yourself quickly, not wanting to be caught in the cross fire.  

On your behalf, it was mostly more waiting before their sharing of the evening’s intimacy, drew more isolation from you.  You suspected his daily disappearances had more to do with the attack on you, than the garrison Hux wished to be set up, though of course neither man seemed willing to divulge any information to you.   

You ate when ordered to by Hux or Ren, always bland, easily digested and no doubt full of the necessary nutrition and vitamins needed to support your pregnant body.  Sometimes those meals remained in your stomach, and on those day’s you longed for something more tasty, food that was more than simple nourishment.  As the week went on though more often than not the food revolted in your stomach.  Hux was forced to watch from his perch in the living area, as you ran for the refresher for the sink or toilet, to hurl up the undigested food.  Of course, he continued to show no remorse for his treatment of you.  Ignoring your vomiting until the sickness got worse, and more food was regurgitated than digested.  Your stomach churning and bruised from the repeated regurgitation, as you draped yourself across the toilet seat.  Clutching your sore belly, too exhausted to feel anger or even cry, just whispering broken little pleas for him to back off and leave you to it. Your head resting on your arms, until you were sure you had finished and could safely make it back to hide in your bedroom. 

The first time you hadn’t even made it past your bed, he had actually bothered to put down the data pad in hand.  He fetched a cool cloth for your face, ignoring your feeble protests to leave you alone as he wiped your vomit and tear marked face clean, removing your soiled clothing from you.  The fight to push him off drained you of energy, leaving you to flop weakly in his arms as he rocked you.  Your body too exhausted to recoil against the blow that never came, as you lay naked and vulnerable in his embrace, as he kicked away the bile stained sheet to the floor.   Assuring you it would get better as you sobbed, begging pitifully for some relief as you briefly dozed off in his arms.

You had awoken still in the same position, stiff but your stomach eased a little.  The Emperor not having moved from your bed.  Just the addition of Ren, and a cool sheet covering your sweat stained skin.  The rest of that day he had come to you each time you hurled up.  Muttering low words of encouragement, pulling your hair back from your face to clean it.  Rubbing at your shoulders and back, as he allowed you your curses at him, for doing this to you. 

His calmness when you snapped at him, each time that this was all his fault, was puzzling to you.  You had expected his patience would wear thin that day, and had been shocked at the end of it that he hadn’t punished you for your supposed insolence.  Instead fetching you clean sleep wear, and running you a bath, easing you back into freshly cleaned sheets, as he disposed of the soiled ones.  Him looking after you made you uneasy, and you were pleased when he left you to sleep.  It was the first time in nearly three weeks he had touched you, and to your knowledge the first with no immediate nefarious intentions or consequences.  

The next day he had attended to you personally each time you vomited, allowing you to curse him, so long as you only did so when being sick.  At other times, he had corrected you with a stern warning, the set of his jaw warning you he meant it, and you had obeyed without questioning too afraid of his threats and your own body.  The next day he had tried a new assortment of bland foods, in an effort to keep your stomach calm, refusing your requests for anti-emetics.  Telling you he couldn’t give you anything from the medical supplies, that would draw unwanted attention and put you at risk.  Not you, but their child, you thought bitterly trying to sleep off some of the sickness, and indigestion.  You they would risk tenfold, just the passenger growing in your womb, was to them special cargo.  You had managed a fitful few hours into the evening, Ren returning later into the night, bringing with him an assortment of herbal, and natural remedies.  To which you restlessly waited for, whilst they prolonged your distress, argued out which to use first.      

The one time you had needed to run to the toilet late in the night to be sick; Hux tossed a sleepy Ren out of their bed to sleep on one of the sofa’s.  Putting you instead back in their closer bed, the mattress far more comfortable, than your own.  Even if it meant being watched as he tried feeding you an assortment of teas.  Sitting by his bed to try and calm your heaving guts, assuring you this would all be over in a matter of weeks.  He promised you not for the first time, that as soon as he could, he would get you out of space, that that was what was making it this long.

“It is ill advised in the guides we have read; to undertake space travel in the first trimester of pregnancy due to the increased nausea, had we of known you wouldn’t have been allowed to travel here, and now we are forced to undertake a return journey.”

So they were at least heading home then you realised.  You had asked him then why he didn’t just leave you on Zeltros, or return you sooner to Naboo.  Surely, your suggestions were amongst some of the better solutions for you.  He had disputed these, letting on that you were safer her aboard the Star-Cruiser, and would be safer still upon your return.  Security was tighter at home, there was less of a risk and no prying eyes to report back to the terrorists that wanted his baby dead, that you were possibly pregnant.  Suddenly the back of your spine prickled with, horrible uncertainty at your security, he didn’t have all the answers and that worried him.  You were not being watched by him so much to stop yourself from self-harm, as to stop others from harming you.  

“You haven’t caught all of your traitors, have you? And neither are they all on Zeltros”

You skin paled, more from fear than the swirling anxiety pressing your gut.  Hux looked down at you, tucking a lock of sweat damp hair behind your ear.  The guarded look, in those pale blue irises said it all.  It made more sense as to why they refused to let people even in their inner circles know you were here, or even pregnant.  They had left you aboard their ship, alone and unguarded with more of those inbred fanatics about, and would have still been doing it if your body hadn’t of revolted against you

“The terrorist cell on Zeltros, has been wiped out, here aboard my ship you are amongst First Order soldiers.  This is uncomfortable for you, but it is the most secure place, until Ren and I consider our next move, we must turn aside the rumours Pet.”

That they had had the audacity, to suggest that you might be collaborating with their dissenters.  That you would be the one to risk their offspring’s life, made your skin boil with fury.  How you wanted to rub it in their faces that their seemingly all powerful organisation was not infallible.  That even their mighty powers only stretched so far, and that there were already moles in their great society.  Your triumph only allowing you to go so far before another comment pulled you back.

“No Pet, I will though.  You will be kept safe I promise, and when I find the man, who has ordered this campaign against you; I swear to all I hold sacred Pet, he will wish he had never been born.”

Your lip curled derisively at Ren’s threat, stopped by the hammering in your chest when you realised the depth of sincerity in his voice.  He stepped closer and pulled you seated to the end of the bed, dropping to his knees before you.

 “I’m just your well-trained cunt. We both know it’s the child you’re bothered about protecting.”

You only just stopped yourself from leaping forwards and hitting him, your fingers twisted in to the pillow next to you wishing instead it was his head.  You wanted to throw it at him, to do something, to pull apart this mockery of concern you, his prized cosset.  You hated him, and frantically you held your tongue, your chest swelling with each feverish breath of air through your nose, whilst your hears hammered furiously in your ribcage.  He reached to touch your arm but to stop him, bringing up the pillow to your chest, not to hit him, but instead dig your head into it to scream your anger in a wordless howl.  It probably made you look half insane, but you didn’t care, couldn’t they just leave you alone.  Above you Hux waited oddly patient at your outburst, thought the set of his jaw told you he thought of your as just another hysterical woman.  As he stood taking a deep breath and turning out the lights, mumbling something about your mixed-up hormones, before leaving you to sob again. 

That was too much, and your anger won over your self-control as you stood throwing the pillow in his general direction.  Snarling a loud and bitter comment under your breath as he left, about his inadequacies at protecting you, and his apparent heir.  Adding one quieter one, that was meant to yourself rather than him, that his so-called baby; was a still only a collection of cells and one that given the current threat to you, would probably not make it to term.

He had been through the door when you had spoken it, and you had honestly not expected him to hear you, or to even register that you were still speaking.  But he had his face an open mask of fury as he spun on his heels to face you.  Rushing at you with a speed you weren’t sure Ren could have matched, springing at you to throw you back onto the bed.  The foam mattress beneath you thankfully absorbing the shock wave of it, and protecting your sore back.  His patience with your ‘hormones’ as he referred to them obviously gone, as he punched at the durasteel wall above the headboard.  Painfully gripping your chin, to force you to look at him as he yelled in open fury at your comment.

“If you do anything to knowingly put yourself at risk.  Or to even slightly risk jeopardising yourself over this pregnancy.  Then I will not hesitate to take back my refusal, to turn you into; **_one of those things_** as you put it.”

He spat every word at you, his face red with unsuppressed fury.  Each syllable eclipsed by absolute weighted certainty, spittal flying from clenched teeth, as you physically shook.  Your eyes wide with fear under his grip, as he brought his fist down on the bed next to you.  Your mouth was dry with fear, and your explanations would not come.  Your bladder threatened to give out on you again, you wished Ren was here.  You would have willingly undergone his mind probe, to clarify to Hux you hadn’t meant what he was insinuating.  Yes, you had been attacking him, but it was with his own inadequacies and not with yours.  You didn’t want this thing inside of you, and you would have given practically anything to have the fetus terminated.  But there was a difference between performing the act safely, and recklessly blundering into something you didn’t understand.  You didn’t know the first thing about how to perform, an abortion correctly and there was a reason, it needed to be done by a medical professional.  Yes, there were probably physical ways of trying to induce a miscarriage.  But you didn’t know them, and had no way of finding them out.  Plus you honestly didn’t think you could live with the guilt, if instead of working, it led to a damaged child.  It was one thing to destroy a collection of cells, another to damage an innocent.  Instead you nodded, your bottom lip quivering, as you waited for him to hit you or leave you.

It was thankfully the latter though.  He stooped to collect the pillow, depositing it on the end of your bed.  Closing the door as he left you in darkness, the sounds of low and heated conversation coming from the next room.  You couldn’t over hear what was being said without moving closer, and leaving the security of you bed, risking being caught.  You opted instead to play it safe, slowly moving yourself to the makeshift security of the bed’s blankets.  Burying yourself under them to ignore them both as the noise of their arguments, gave way to the unmistakeable sounds of sex.

The next morning you were awoken to eat not by Hux, but Ren.  The composed redhead who had tended to you so placidly, and serenely during your bouts of morning sickness, replaced by this easily flappable brunette.  Hux had disappeared from the chambers, and judging by the smaller pile of electronics, taken some of the data pads with him, leaving Ren with a small supply.  For his part, your suspected that Ren was trying, though his attempts at caring for you were clumsy and intrusive. Very unlike the more tactful, and dare you say it; circumspect actions of Hux as he had nursed you. The suggestion you made that he should leave you to tend to yourself met with a horrified shake of his head, before he insisted on helping you wash and change for the day.        

Later that day in the early-evening the Emperor had returned.  Greeting Ren, as he handed over a small sized parcel, informing you curtly that this would be the last full cycle aboard the ship.  That at the beginning of the next day cycle you would be returned to Naboo.  That had met with equal measures of relief and nervous trepidation from you.  Aboard the Star-cruiser it had been at least a smooth journey.  The larger ships inertial-dampeners absorbing any deep space turbulence you would have encountered in a small shuttle craft.  The journey back into the planet’s atmosphere would be rougher on your stomach, but would put you back on solid ground and would hopefully lessen the sickness.  With both men swirling around you that evening, in a hive of activity; there had been even less space for privacy.  Ren it seemed; insisted on doing his own packing, his visits into your borrowed bedroom oddly frequent for someone with so little possessions.  Hux, though it seemed he was more willing to let someone else pack for him, still came to help him.

There would be nothing of yours returning to Naboo, all of it having been removed from your wardrobes and destroyed.  You wondered briefly then, what you would wear?  Surely letting you appear plain faced, wearing a First Order issued uniform would look like they were scared, and unable to guarantee your safety.  Hardly a fitting state for the Emperor of the known galaxy; unless of course they already had orchestrated a back story for the change in your attire.

The rest of the evening and most of the night, was spent anxiously awaiting the morning and the journey home.  Hux waking you in the morning, his shipboard attire replaced with more stately robes.  He ordered you to into the refresher, assisting you despite your assurances you could manage on your own; to wash and then style your hair.  Pinning it up high to display the collar at your neck, tendrils of it spilling loose to hang in seemingly random places, which complemented your features.  He provided new cosmetics, summoning the protocol droid to assist in painting your face, your eyes again defined by thick inky lines of kohl.     

There were undergarments and shoes placed on the bed, and these the droid assisted you into.  A black set of short like pants, and a firm, but wireless bra-top, both made from soft elasticated fabric.  The top although sculpting, drawing your breasts to a high cleavage, was soft and the material nonabrasive on your still tender breasts.  Though your nipples shamelessly refused to sit flat, something you hoped the dress would hide for you.  The shoes the droid helped you into were dainty, open toed sandals.  Studded with black and silver jewels, a small heel to them.  You were to be presented on your return to Naboo, as you had left then.  Did that also mean they were to know nothing of the attack from Novak too, you wondered, pacing the bedroom in the heels.  You needed to take your time to re-acquaint yourself to the feel of a heel.  Practicing before the transpara-steel wardrobes in them as you walked, studying your reflection, as you waited for someone to return with your dress.

You had lost weight this last two week, not surprising since it was virtually impossible to keep anything down.  The makeup though hid your gaunter facial features well, and added some colour to your pasty complexion.   You ran your hands firmly over your abdomen, pursing your lips at the changes to the space between your hips.  The flesh there seemed tighter, more strained and you moved one palm to cup the hardening flesh.  The tears welling up, threatened to ruin your cleverly painted face; there was not a visible bump yet, but a firming of the muscles there, it would not be long before you began to show.

As though on cue Hux had reappeared, and quickly you moved your hands, pressing the backs of them to your eyes.  Wiping away the moisture, whilst taking care to hide your face from Hux, presenting him with newly dried eyes when he told you to turn around.  He tutted at you, fetching a tissue to dab at the single black lines, your tears had smeared across each of your cheeks.

“You again cry for no reason Pet, trust me motherhood will suit you.”    

You shook your head, and he ignored the look of distain you shot him, turning instead to assist you into a dress of sheer black lace, careful to avoid it catching on your collar.  At first you mistakenly assumed it was an under layer for another dress.  Blushing as you realised; from the slight train at the back that Hux intended this to be worn as a garment in its own rights.  He attached a belt of silver-spun metal to your waist.  Drawing attention to the newly slenderness of it, the pattern of wrought to match your collar, studded with gems like your shoes.  You couldn’t wear this you stammered, you were practically naked.

That of course amused him, and he laughed, turning you around, to stand with your back against his chest.  Puling you to him, as he teased you yet again for your innocence, standing you before the mirror. Telling you to look at yourself, as he breathed astonishment that you could stand there in such a condition and be so full of virtue, still act so seemingly pure.

You wrapped your arm around the one he already held at your waist, staring at your reflection, speechless at it.  The lace was beautiful, so artfully spun; that the delicate pattern made it look alluring, and tasteful rather than vulgar and tacky.  It skimmed your flesh, your belly clearly on display and still flat, your waist narrow and your breasts full.  It hid nothing, and in doing so showed your supposedly empty belly to anyone who would want to look.  The sheer fabric displaying you falsely as not pregnant, to those who would seek to harm you.  Whilst the man besides you, could take pride in knowing he displayed you as he had boasted; practically naked and your belly full of his child.

“See you can wear it Pet, you look beautiful.”

Your blood thundered in your ears, the backs of his knuckles brushing your cheeks; he was right.  Somehow, he had managed to turn what should have been a tasteless display of flesh, into something striking and appealing.  You parted your lips, just staring at yourself, the smear of heat across your cheeks returning, dipping your face to the floor; when you realised how intently he was watching you.  You knew you should be incensed, that this dress was probably destined to end up the usual pile of cum-soiled rags on a floor somewhere.  But you couldn’t, too taken with how he had presented you.  Him drawing a deep shuddering breath, that somehow became a small growl; when his lips brushed the back of your neck.  Your embarrassment forgotten as he commanded you to look at him.  You did, your eyes meeting with his in the mirror, the blue of his irises almost completely swallowed by black, making you lick your lips in nervous trepidation.

He kept his eyes locked to your, watching every minute movement your body made, running his fingertips across the swell of your breasts.  Following the low cut of the scalloped neckline, before running them down your sleeve of the arm clutching his, using both hands to slowly lift your skirt.  You should have been repulsed, at the touch that brushed your covered mound, the other hand holding your skirts up.  Careful not to damage the delicate cloth, as that gloved hand slid under one elasticated leg of your panties fingertips stroking at the closed lips of your sex.

Any minute now, he was going to turn you around and fuck you, you told yourself.  The hand at your waist splaying the fabric flat against your stomach, his hand spread out over your lower abdomen, two of the fingers of the other hand slipping deftly inside of you.  The leather padded digits, filling your already slick channel making you gasp aloud.  There was no crude uttering of insults at your wetness, nor jests about quiet little vocalisation, just the steady pumping of his fingers inside of you, his thumb rubbing at your clit. 

The fucking you expected was slow to arrive, making it harder to relax to Hux’s touch.  Your cunt spasming erratically on his fingers, walls clenching as your sex throbbed, so close to your release.  You watched him work your pussy, alternating your gaze between the hand inside you, and his face.  His mouth pressed together, eyes soft when you allowed them to meet yours, his own never leaving your face, seemingly enchanted with watching you.  The unmistakable bloom of pink across his nose and cheeks, told you he was aroused, but the way he held himself meant you couldn’t feel for his cock.  It should have been throbbing at your back, but he angled himself back, and you slightly forwards, making it impossible for you to feel him, to guess when he would give in and take you.

A whimper spilt from your lips, beginning as a low whine in your throat.  You swallowed, wetting your lips with your tongue, before closing your lips, not wanting to give him any encouragement, telling yourself that your cunt was doing it for you.

The gentle order to relax, made you turn your face to him.  Not the reflexion, but to look up at him, his chin tilting to look down at you.  His full lips, parting the hand leaving your middle, to cup your cheek, his mouth lowering to yours, a simple chaste press of his mouth to yours, your skirts falling back over the hand buried inside of you.  His lashes full and pale, as they pressed to the smattering of freckles across his cheekbones, closing his eyes each time he kissed you.  Your breath hot and heavy against his mouth, as he praised you, whispering for you to cum.

You came with a small closed mouth cry into his, your lips parting to pant through the aftershock of your orgasm.  Waiting confused as he pulled away his hand, licking the fingers clean, before pulling the lace of your gown straight, smoothing a fresh layer of gloss onto your painted lips.  He wasn’t going to fuck you then?  The only other time he had made you cum, without you reciprocating had been the day you had pleased him, with your unintentional insulting of Novak.  He had called it a reward then, was today then another reward, and if so for what exactly?   

He offered you his arm, parading you along corridors full of First Order Officers, to the shuttle leading you aboard.  You met Ren in the passenger area of the shuttle, the nerves at the possible unpleasantness of the journey returning, threatening to upset your stomach again.  Rubbing small circles over it, to calm it, much to the apparent interest of Ren, who sat you down into a padded leather chair facing Hux. 

“Wait little one, when the rest of the passengers are aboard, I’ll make you sleep for the journey.”

You nodded, stumbling over a low spoken but relieved thanks, to the man crouching at your legs.  Your intestines bubbling impatiently, as Ren waited his back to the door, your own flitting between him, and Hux; wondering who was to join you.  You had assumed First Order officers, and not Hux’s father and sister.  Had they travelled from Zeltros to here, aboard the same ship, or had they come separate and simply joined their Emperor for the shuttle journey here?   Either way it seemed odd that Hux hadn’t had them visit him aboard his chambers, especially given the apparent closeness with Arabella.  The door slid close behind them, the airlocks engaging, Ren brushing your hair back, soothing you, as across from you Brendol Hux took his seat, tutting and rolling his eyes at Ren’s tenderness with your fear, openly berating his son for it.            

“Really Armitage, do we have to take your whore everywhere with us, can she not be sent to travel with the rest of the serving classes.”

The raised brow from Hux was the only warning he would give, and you heeded it.  The man at his left too busy scowling at you, as the woman to his right enquired after you.

“She looks very pale Tidge, is she okay?”

Hux answered his sister, assuring her that you were fine, but didn’t travel well.  Brendol muttering something about it being a stupid idea to let you travel with them then; offering to beat you himself if you threw up in here.  Arabella shot you a sympathetic smile, adding her condolences to Hux as much as to you, Hux thanking her before giving Ren a single nod.  The ships had engines engaged, and you clutched at your tummy, the thought of the movement already making you feel queasy.  The first two fingers on Ren’s right hand, brushed your temple, pulling your attention back down to him, his jaw set as a calmness washed over you.  Ren mouthing promises at your ear to watch you, giving the command to your body to sleep.    

    

       

  

        


	19. Chapter 19

The first thing you did upon waking up was to lean over the seat Ren had draped you over, slipping on unsteady knees to the floor and vomit into a waiting bucket.  It seemed that Ren had anticipated this, handing you wipes quickly, assisting you back to the chair.  Giving you a small glass of cold tea to both clear the taste from your mouth and to ease your stomach.  The three other passengers had already disembarked the shuttle, and so Hux was spared having to explain to his family, your ungraceful act.  Ren waited until you had finished the tea, instructing you to take small sips of the almost tasteless, green brew.  Finished you placed the glass to one side, accepting, the gloved hand that helped you to your shaky legs, steadying you as you wobbled forwards.  Letting go of the glove in panic to press both palms flat to his firm chest, your forehead falling between them, your head spinning at the sudden movement.  He spoke quietly, his deep baritone, warning you to take it easy, as he gripped your biceps, practically holding you up, as you waited for the dizzy spell to pass. 

After taking long, slow breaths; you raised your head, standing a moment or two independently before Ren asked if you were ready.  You nodded, not quite feeling it, but knowing Hux would get angry if you waited here.  Your face pale, as Ren instructed you to fix your attire, adding more paint to your lips, before Ren instructed you to follow him.

He took the pace slow and steady, though this was probably more to display you, as to prevent another lightheaded moment.  The landing pad was of course a private one, though there still was a flurry of activity, servants and droids milling around; assisting in the removal of luggage from the shuttle-ship.  Some stopped to stare as you walked past, all swiftly encouraged by their overseers; to turn their attentions back to their work.  Most still sneaked side glances at you as you passed by.  Ren ignoring them as though the men were beneath his notice, although he took time to make the most winding route through the offloading cargo.  No doubt these first onlookers would be the first to spill whatever rumours Hux and Ren were currently orchestrating with you.   

You were taken through familiar corridors in the palace, to Hux’s office; Ren simply walking past the palace guards and through the closed doors, you were expected then, were you?  Inside the enormous room, the Emperor and his family sat talking and taking a small selection of refreshments, on the low backed, First Order-red couches.  Both Hux and his father sat together on the one to your left.  Their position one of ease, both men lounging at either end of one long suede couch, arms stretched wide for comfort as the talked, Hux’s sister occupying the other.  Sipping daintily from a cup; perched on the one opposite, her long skirts fanned out around her as she sat observing her brother and father, slowly bringing her attention to you and Ren.  There was nothing threatening in her observation of you, nothing to show distaste or offense at you, her gaze neutral, as she looked you over.  But she made you uncomfortable when she looked you over, though you couldn’t tell why.  Her father though, gave you every reason to fear him, his face an open visage of skin crawling lust as he looked you over, his eyes settling on the soft expanses of lace clad, naked flesh.  You wanted to draw back, to hide behind Ren, but you knew better keeping your back straight, and focusing instead on the pale freckled form of your seated Emperor.  Loudly Brendol Hux; muttered a jibe to his son, about you being thinner, but your tits still as fuckable, for traitorous-scum.  Spilling more lewd obscenities that were distasteful, let alone down right inappropriate to be spoken in his children’s company.  The man seemed to have no regard for anyone.  Arabella not even blushing at her father’s comments, was this common place then, to have him discuss women like this in front of her, or were you so low in their notice to register as a woman.  

Your fingers itched to cover the expanses of flesh from his ogling, frantically wishing Hux would either cover you, or tell him to stop.  Your face white with nerves, as you fought with your instinct to run, wishing Hux would have more taste than to let others openly degrade you.  You knew he disliked it, it made him cross; so why put you in positions where it could happen. 

There was a smell of old death-stick smoke clinging thickly in the air.  The stale smell doing nothing to help with your morning sickness.  Your mouth watering, saliva pooling ready for you to vomit again.  Hux looked over at you; narrowing his eyes in a pointed warning at you, to control yourself, before reengaging with the groups conversation.  You tried closing your nostrils, doing your best to take shallow breaths through your mouth.  Repeatedly swallowing back against your revolting stomach, but nothing was working; and it was becoming desperately harder, to quell the rising tide of nausea. 

“Go to the bathroom, and get me a glass of water; now.”

You nodded, muttering a low noise of obedience with your curtsy, clutching your hands to your waist to cup you stomach, whilst rushing forwards to obey his quickly clipped order.  Grateful to be able to escape and close the door on the awful smell, managing to set the taps running, before you hurled the last mouthfuls of tea in your stomach, into the toilet basin.  Finished you did your best to tidy yourself up.  Cupping your hand under the cold tap to swill the water around your mouth; clearing you mouth of the acrid bitter taste of bile, and tea, checking the mirror carefully.  Your make makeup had held up okay; but there were still signs of your illness.  You looked peaky; your complexion pale, but with a feverish tint to your cheeks, your eyes unnaturally dull.  You were struggling already, and hoped he wouldn’t keep this pretence up for too long.  Pulling yourself together you began searching for a beaker or glass, cross at all the deception of it all.  Wasn’t it normal to be more to be accommodating to mothers to be; not this apparent for secrecy; why need to uphold the minefield of high society rules.  Why couldn’t you just be openly ill around his family.     

Shit! There was no glass in on the side, and a further search of the cupboards revealed none secreted away anywhere.  You began to panic, instinctively knowing that he would not be happy if you returned to ask him where you could find one, it would give away what you hoped was simply a lie to his father and sister.  Clutching at your chest and neck; you panicked.  Your chest rising and falling at an alarming rate, almost matching the tempo of your heart beat.  You were taking too long, and with his father out there, you feared the consequences of failure too badly.  Beyond the door; you could hear the buzz of low chatter, the occasional clink of a glass or cup, before slow footsteps approaching the bathroom.  There was a knock; and before you could protest that you were nearly done, it opened; and to your horror Arabella slipped gracefully through the small opening to join you. 

You were caught like a deer in headlight, unable to do anything but stare at her your lips parting in explanations and protests that wouldn’t come.  She, tilted her head in silent constellation at you, before reaching behind her, locking the door, and coming closer.  She ignored your shaking, taking both of your wrists in her hands, closing the lid on the toilet as she guided you to sit down, your gut churning in anxiety.  Her face full of educated suspicion as she looked you over, making your gut churning worse in your growing anxiety.

“How far along are you?”

You stared dumfounded, completely unsure how to proceed.  Something about the way she looked at you, the narrowing of her eyes told you this was more than a well-informed guess.  She clearly hadn’t been made privy to the news, which made you hedge on the side of caution; Hux had told you could say nothing; that no one could know, that you were pregnant.  Did this include his family too, what about his father, did he know?  You still didn’t answer, not sure how to proceed.  You would have imagined Hux could have told his sister; and not his father.  They had seemed closer when you saw them together, but why didn’t she know.  Her actions towards him, appeared to be that of a loving sibling, not cold and calculating like their father, but what if you were wrong; could you handle the punishment. 

Suddenly a knock on the door came, making you jump the action more painful on your stomach, the voice of Ren asking if everything was okay.  You floundered for something to say, terrified tears you know you shouldn’t show, beginning to form in your eyes.  Arabella looking down at you with her lips pursed, in what you dared to hope, was sympathetic aversion at your distress.

She took a breath, shouting louder and with more cheer and friendliness, than was strictly necessary that she was fine.  Ignoring that unspoken understanding that Ren had been asking about you, to assure him that you were just helping her with adjusting her dress.  It was meant to carry further than Ren’s ears, and from the grim look on her face she was suddenly cross.  It made you instinctively want to curl up on yourself, the black look in her eyes the same as Hux’s when he was mad at you, just a different colour in the irises.  Where you wrong, had she Hux’s cruel temperament also?  Together you waited for the loud thud or Ren’s boots to fade away, before repeated the question.  One look at the reinstated look of terror in on your face; making her drop the harshness in her accusatory tone.  Softening her features as she crouched before you, dropping her head into her hands.

“I see my brother still favours the stick over the carrot.” 

She sounded weary, and there was a touch of knowing gentleness to her, almost the first apology you had been given for your fear.  It helped, even if you doubted she had any idea of the depths of depravity he had dragged you into.  You took a deep sigh, knowing that she spoke to herself more than you, but sensing that this was far from over.  Everything in her voice, sounded sincere to you.  But you couldn’t bring yourself to entirely trust her, a niggling little thought warning you to be on your guard, this could always be another of Hux’s traps, after all they were both cut from the same cloth.  Weren’t they?  She rubbed her forehead in her hand, standing to lean up against the sink basin.  Annoyance once more clouding her features, as she challenged you.

“Look I’m not an idiot, I’ve felt the signs enough myself to know you’re expecting.  Why are you so afraid, my brother would love children of his own?”

She kept her voice low, just a low murmur above a whisper.  Enough that you could hear her, but anyone else listening from beyond the door wouldn’t.  One, then two tears dropped; falling onto the lace covering your knees, all her assumed secrecy and discretion would do nothing if the dark-Jedi in the other room was listening.  Your heart felt thick and heavy, weighted with every frustrated answer you couldn’t give her, your lip quivering as you bit it, trying to hold back the tears.

She barrelled you with more questions each quiet, but not understanding of your fear.  Her voice descending to that of an angry hiss, towards the end, as she lost patience with you.  Demanded to know if it was his, if that was why he didn’t know, slapping her hands on her thighs in frustration.  You didn’t answer, but the shocked angry look you shot her, had her holding up her hands in open apology, at having doubted your fidelity.  She gave a relieved noise of thanks, grateful for some answers at last.

You didn’t know if it was his or Ren’s, but either way Hux had argued it was his, and so you had taken that to mean he would claim paternity either way.  She sighed, her answer there in your panicked face, her voice again level as she demanded to know how far along you were.  That you couldn’t answer for her, you didn’t know yourself; shrugging uselessly in what you knew was rude, but hoped passed for at least an understandable answer.

“You don’t know? Why? Maker my brother is such a fucking ass!”

You blinked in shock, to which she just laughed.  You felt again deep shame at your inadequacies, at your naivety, cross with yourself for not asking Hux.  But then you hadn’t really wanted to ask, even if even he knew dates.  Her laugh at you set you on a nervous edge, or misunderstanding.  Never had you heard anyone talk about the Emperor that way, in such a mix of condescending affection and disbelief.  It scared you, all of you wanted to add your own insults to hers, but it still scared you that he might find out this betrayal.  Muttering more insults, she handed you a tissue to dab at your eyes, still laughing.  Not at you personally, you realised; more at your shocked expression, whilst she explained herself.

“What you never want to strangle him? Emperor or not he’s still just my baby brother.”

They must be close then if she could insult him and get away with it, she shot you another smile of encouragement, telling you to just hold in there, it wouldn’t be that bad once he knew. 

 Another knock came, this time followed quickly by the angry voice of Hux demanding admittance, trying to open the door when he didn’t get an immediate answer.  Demanding you came out as he rattled at the door knob impatiently.  Your breathing sped up, hyperventilation as an answering Arabella looked down in shock at your panicked expression, her lips drawing to another grim line.  Pressing a hand to your shoulder to stop you from running to the door, she coolly strode over to the door.  Opening it just a crack to peer out at her brother, her brows raising in a silent question at his behaviour.

“Father, has he left?"

 A sharp yank and the hissed answer of yes, as she was pulled swiftly through the suddenly widening gap.  Squealing as she yelped aloud her annoyed protests at his rough treatment of her.  An equally irate Hux stepping through the empty frame, positioning himself between you both.  His head twisting from side to side as he swung his attention between you both; taking in your terrified guilty expression, and her cross stance.  Arabella cross at her brother took a breath to speak first trying to push aside a rapidly intercepting Ren to get back to you both.  This was another enigma, a small woman unafraid of the immobile Ren, the man who terrified you almost as much as Hux.  It was Hux though who spoke first, his look intercepting her intending message; his voice quiet with authority, and something else you couldn’t quite place. 

“Nobody is to know Arabella, especially not Father.”

Her mouth twisted to a lopsided grimace, of apprehension; relaxing as she gave a long exhale.  When she spoke again, it was to address, not her Emperor, but her younger brother; Armitage Hux.

“So, you do know. Oh Tidge; when will you learn that his approval doesn’t matter anymore.”

Her head rocking in the gentle shake of disappointment, her anger dissipating as quickly as it had arrived.  You expected indifference or explosive anger from Hux at her obvious dissension, and not the slow deflating of his shoulders, his entire body a sudden mask of weary sadness.  He allowed his sister to brush his arm tenderly, as she flitted about; collecting her belongings.  Kissing his cheek as she bid him goodbye, promising to come find him after dinner.  He followed her to the door, kissed her farewell, but stopped short of letting her hug him.  Pulling himself together with another it would not do to show further weaknesses before you.  

The door clicked behind her, and you swore you could have heard a pin drop.  Lowering both your eyes and your knees to the floor near his desk; wishing you were anywhere but here.  You could feel the change in his mood, it had already soured when Arabella had challenged him for his own insecure need, to win his father’s regards.    

You waited; the cold stone of the floor biting into your knees, your clothing doing little to keep you warm.  Somebody had opened the enormous glass doors that lined the opposite wall, a gentle breeze blowing through, its chill adding to your discomfort.  The smell of smoke gone, but already your knees had been bleeding precious body heat into the flag stones, now you struggled not to shiver in the cold.  The plush red stripe of his carpet was so close, that if you reached forwards your fingertips would brush it, but you didn’t dare to move to its warmth.  Telling yourself to stay quiet and still, keeping yourself small, anything to remain hidden from his temper, better to be cold and afraid; than warm and unsafe. 

A clink and the sloshing of liquids, and still you didn’t look.  The smell of spirits wafting over the breeze, the smell of outside bringing with it cooking meat.  Your stomach grumbled in protest, demanding to be fed, the meat being the first smell in a while that had smelt good to you.  Your mouth watering in appreciation and at it, and not nausea; first time in an age you had felt hungry, and not repulsed at the idea of food.  Of course; one of them had to ruin it.  Hux moving outside to smoke on the small veranda, the smell of smoke mingling with the charring meat and sweet scent of alcohol, slowly replacing your hunger with a fresh bout of queasiness.      

You closed your nose to the smell, the constant stream of cold air thankfully playing to your favour, keeping the smell faint, and distant.  Your skin was flecked with goose pimples, your jaw aching from the tension in your body, you wouldn’t give in and ask for warmth, or comforts; that would give them what they wanted.  A slide and a click; and Hux returned; the smell of stale smoke still there, but faint, manageable.  He was still cross though, you could almost feel it on him despite the false calmness he portrayed, as he set down on the side of his desk; ordering you to stand.  You raised yourself, ignoring the stiff twinge of protest in your knees and the temptation to stretch, keeping your eyes lowered as taught.  The second order came for you so come to him, and you did, the smells on him becoming more repugnant, the closer you got. 

 There was nothing there in your stomach you told yourself, as you trembled under the weight of his stare and pungent smells.  Granted the cologne that had made you violently ill that first time had been replaced with another, that was at least bearable.  But the whiskey, and tobacco smoke were not, though you did your best to push down the need to vomit.  Ignoring the usual command not to fidget, to press to your upper abdomen repeating a mantra not to be sick, your eyes watering from the effort and the unfairness of it all.  Now with this barely controlled Hux, it would be disastrous to have to disappoint him, you had to stay calm, obedient.

“I told you not to tell anyone Pet.”

There was a dangerous edge of warning to his voice.  The cool and calm persona of the Emperor Hux beginning to crack.  It was all just a facade he projected to his followers, that he was in ultimate control was a lie.  Internally he was as angry as Ren; he just hid it so well, he found other outlets for it.  Your panic increased, and with it came the barked order to stop fidgeting, making you drop your hand to your sides; ignoring the fresh wave of smoke and peat whiskey that came with the harder breath of air. 

“Do you think that protecting you is an easy job? Do you imagine that I give you these orders for fun?”

His tone was growing more aggressive, making you jump at his last question.  No, you thought; you didn’t imagine anything anymore.  Your imagination went only as far as planning how to stay out of trouble, you had forgotten how to dream too long ago, there was no hope left here.  Taking a deep breath, he sighed picking the glass up from the table, bringing it to his mouth, as he muttered lowly and inaudibly to himself.  It was all so bizarre; was a father’s approval that important to a grown man.  Why did it matter to the Emperor?  The seemingly most powerful Human in the galaxy.  Your face burnt with shame and disgust at his self-imposed adequacies.  The paleness already there making it easier to discern on your flushed cheeks, briefly taking over from your anger. 

Daily he made you feel so inferior, so worthless off the time and effort he even took in his abuse of you.  Now you understood a little, the shit definitely rolled down hill; the victim had become the aggressor.  You understood a little more why that closeted aggression, simmered behind such a cool exterior.  Why he looked at you with pure shame, it wasn’t at his treatment of you that embarrassed him, there was never any chance of that.  To Armitage and Brendol Hux you were both a slave and a whore, and doubtless receiving more than he felt you deserved from Him.    

It must therefore be his father’s disappointment if he found out about you, and it wasn’t his rape of you; that his father fully accepted.  It was the thing inside of you, that he feared him finding, did he think his sister would then tell him.  How much of his shame at his father’s lack of regard for him, did he choose to rake out on your delicate body.  How many times had you worn stripes for his failure to win over his cold-hearted rancor of a father.  Your spine chilled at that the fear settling in the marrow of your bones; if his father scared him, then how could he possibly protect you from him.  Soon there would be an additional disappointment to protect from Hux senior; this one smaller and more helpless than you.  How did he plan to protect that, whilst also winning his father’s approval of it?  Taking a sigh more to prepare yourself, than for the air to speak, you asked him why you. Tears threatening to fall on the stone floor, your voice cracking as you suggested another of his whores, didn’t he have concubines, other consorts? Those who had more approval than you, that needed less protection, that would provide him with better heirs, honest heirs.

“You imagine your child won’t be accepted as belonging to me?  We don’t need more honest heirs Pet, nor does he need a thoroughbred mother to succeed; I will ensure he has everything.”

Your tears dropped to the floor at his harsh comment, sound echoing heart thuddingly loud in the hollow chamber.  You didn’t need to look to know that he had that horrible sneer on his face, that he found your heartfelt concerns pointless.  You told yourself to find comfort in knowing that; at least the child would be provided for, but would it be loved?  Could monsters like these two love something not entirely their own, could they love unconditionally, and as understandably as an infant would need?  No, you thought; drawing in a breath of anger, tasting the salt on your tongue as your teeth worried at your bottom lip.  If his relationship with his father was anything to go by, this child would be just as unhappy, just as lost to a desperate need for success.  They were making you have this thing, that would be moulded into another monster, another copy of the two Hux’s you had seen.  If it were a boy would it be taught to terrorise as indiscriminately as these two did?  Or if you failed to produce a male; would she be treated as his sister had been.  Dressed up like a prize to be bartered for, no doubt sold to the highest bidder, and made to carry some equally as evil man’s heirs?  Either one was deplorable, and completely out of your hands; better that this child didn’t survive, it would be kinder on it.       

Behind you cloth rustled, foot falls sounded as Ren came closer.  You had forgotten about him, too engrossed in Hux, and the loathing you felt for him, to remember there was a second predator in the room, another source of danger.  He sidled up to you, his arms easily reaching to grip the desk either side of Hux, pushing you forwards to his chest; both bodies effectively holding you in place. It was too close to those awful smells on Hux, and you stomach gave a little retch the chest at your back flush to you.  Hux pinched your face, pulling you to look at him, his eyes colder than you had ever seen them, bringing his own face close to yours as he snarled like a wounded animal; his calmness replaced by a quiet, stone cold fury.  

“But that should not matter to you should it Pet?  You need not concern yourself with something you feel incapable of wanting.  Don’t try and flatter yourself, or me with your false concerns for something you refuse to bring yourself to want.  You cannot even name it as your baby, my child is just a thing to you.”

He pushed you away, and not kindly, or gently either.  The force-user at your back the only thing that stopped you from hitting the stone floor, as he caught you; holding on to you as Hux stormed from the room.  You were livid, both at yourself and at the man who held you; his iron grip remaining constant throughout all your struggles.  Horrified self-loathing consumed you, making you want to run, to bolt and escape everything. Not just these two monsters, but the constant string of thoughts in your head.  You felt so guilty, and so lost, accepting for the first time what he had said as true; you were having a baby, and you didn’t want it, so what kind of a monster did that make you? None you told yourself, pushing away Ren's arms to stand on your own, they had stripped you from guilt, when they stripped you from the ability to make choices for your own body. They could rot in hell if they thought you were going to show any remorse for feeling this way.                            

            

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At no point did I ever think when I started writing again that I could write this much, or that that many people would want to read it and enjoy my stuff. Thank you, to anyone who takes the time and comments.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I post my next chapter, I need to talk about something that has been going on in the Star Wars community, something which is the first instance of its kind, I have ever seen in my lifelong addiction to this fandom.  
> Bullying.  
> I have been to countless comic cons and events, even Star Wars Celebration (which I will be attending again this year), and in that time; I have never seen any bullying. This misn’t a naivety on my behalf, but an honest observation. I am not privy to the entire facts, nor do I want to know them, it would I feel be like feeding the beast. People were unfairly targeted, and from what I understand over a simple matter of forgetting the simple rule when writing erotica; “My kink is not your kink.”  
> There are tags on stories to avoid you finding something that upsets you, and letting you walk away, and there are warnings too. If you’re not sure, tread with caution, or if it upsets you that much, stay away. Some of my work will go into these perceived, dangerous kinks, and whilst I have never felt the need to justify myself, I am going to do so here, because I am standing with the victims, in having the right to a safe space to explore them. I use the term explore loosely, I have been a victim of sexual assault and rape itself. I don’t intend to glamourize the act, but I have a right to write about it. Someone who has never had to experience what I have, also has a right to, because fiction is not the same as reality. It offers us a safe way of experiencing what is to a majority of women, a kink, even I who have experienced it, have a different approach to the idea of it, than the act itself.  
> I don’t want to add to the witch hunt, and I don’t have names I will name, but the perpetrators know who they are, and I would ask them to think about their actions. I know they were wrong and I hope that they realise they are. Crying victim, is the oldest trick in the book for a bully, and it doesn’t wash with me. I am sorry to those who had to endure it, because from what I am told they were vile actions.  
> Actions speak louder than words, and whilst people behave in a vile manner, they will be seen as vile themselves.

It was nearly three weeks after you had arrived home, and you were in your bedchamber.  All seemingly back to normal, your routine that of a bored little pet kept confined to your rooms.  Here the danger must be least to you, no longer kept within easy reach of your captors you were free of their constant gazes.  The handmaidens didn’t question your residue sickness, nor the obvious change in your body shape; that would have meant talking to you. 

Your days were spent mainly confined then to your chambers.  Hux only dragging you out of it for short periods of time, and then in cleverly tailored dresses, that still showed you slender waisted and as the weeks progressed full skirts.  Still nobody was to know then, though you didn’t see how long you would pass for not carrying for.  Your belly already showed the first signs of swelling, protruding forwards far more than would pass as a little extra weight.

It didn’t help then, that the morning sickness has continued, for just over the end of the first week on back the planet’s surface.  You looked awful, and though your paleness was easily hidden by cosmetics; the gauntness in your face was not.  Somebody had to have guessed by now, and with attempts already being made to stop the pregnancy from getting this far; you were about to become a lot more vulnerable.  They had already tried to damage you, for Hux attempting to have you conceive and carry to term.  How much longer would it be before someone guessed their attempts to stop it hadn’t worked.  That was the scariest part about their little group, they wouldn’t just kill you, no that would never do.  They would make another attempt to make an example of you, to send Hux another message, to stop.  It didn’t help then that the Emperor was so driven by his own importance.  That he had finally ascended to the throne, was nothing to his own self perceived superiority. There was no way he would give into the demands, of a terrorist organisation and simply take the recommended wife; the First Order did not negotiate with terrorists, and Hux was the First Order incarnate.        

Hux doubled your guards, pulling out the familiar palace guards, to replace them with his First Order troops, something his father had argued was a waste of his resources.  Hux refused to argue with him on the matter, spinning the falsehood that all the guards were being replaced thus, and that the palace guards were all to be sent off for mandatory reconditioning.  Ren’s answer to Brendol’s ranting; was to smugly replace the white armoured stormtroopers with the black armoured deathtroopers.  These were supposedly the First Order’s crack troops, and if the stormtroopers scared you, these terrified you.  They moved with eerie uniformity, each one less a programed soldier, and more a conditioned killer.  They were there to make you feel safe Hux had almost delighted in telling you, no doubt inwardly appreciating the unnecessary extra level of fear Ren had snuck into your life. 

They guarded both the door, and both entrances to the passage way, six of them in total.  Four would escort you everywhere, regardless of your destination, and even when your rooms were unoccupied two would always remain stationed by your door.  Nothing went in or out without their permission, and everything you ate was checked over for toxins, or unknown medical compounds.  Hux was determined to keep you safe, and for that to happen, you were set stricter rules.  Nobody had ever been allowed to touch you without Hux’s permission, and now it seemed to go as far as even looking at you.  He never said anything, but the scathing comment he had given one young senator, who had looked too long, left the poor lady pale as she stammered a lengthy and grovelling apology. 

To be fair, he mainly summoned you on the afternoon, and evenings. Times when your sickness was more under control, and so far, you had managed not to shame yourself, by actually vomiting in public.  Though you struggled to cover your discomfort at times; you were forced by circumstances to carry with you the fear, that you would eventually let them down and ultimately suffer the humiliation of it.  The one time you had come close was the smell of warmed nerf milk, served with after dinner drinks.  The blue milk was there to be added to other beverages, and the smell nearly made you hurl.  Arabella having been in attendance also to the small gathering took the initiative.  Decrying loudly as she hurled it at a passing servant, that they had sent rotten milk to the Emperor’s table.  Threatening to have someone whipped if they sent it again before she had inspected the palace stores.

It had been a good cover up, and soon you were to discover Arabella was more intuitive of your difficulties than she let on.  By unspoken agreement you never discussed her brother, nor anything that you showed instant discomfort to.  She would subtly take your side in arguments, and although she never openly argued with her brother over his strict treatment of you, she seemed to win little victories for you.  Arabella had even visited your chambers a couple of times.  Never to stop long, and although she only ever discussed trivial matters.  You craved the company looking forward to each visit.  More so to listen to someone talk to you and not just at you, than to actually use your own rusty voice. 

It had taken forever to sum up the courage to ask her advice about child birth.  Already you had learnt that Hux had a nephew, and two small nieces, you had never seen at court; so here was someone who could offer you the womanly advice you needed.  You spoke quietly, hesitantly trying to keep hidden your fear of it, too worried it would meet with distaste from her.  She had spoken often enough of her brother’s tact with her own children; for you to have worked out that she liked the idea of Hux having offspring of his own.  But you knew precious little about the pregnancy, let alone the final portion of it and it frightened you; but as the bump grew you needed answers.  You couldn’t keep hiding your head in the sand, this was happening, and you didn’t dare ask Hux, you were too proud to ask him for anything.  She had politely declined to answer details, her face an open grimace of discomfort as she asked you to speak to her brother.  Almost as though she had been scripted never to discuss anything more meaningful than the weather, that would leave you too un-reliant on him.

She must have spoken to him in private though; for that evening he had made a visit to your quarters.  He arrived without warning, later on in the evening as you were being towelled off after your bath.  His eyes had greedily skimmed your belly, his eyes darkening as he dismissed the attendant applying oil to your stomach, plucking the bottle from her shaking hands.

His breathing had quickened, as his fingers danced over your bump.  Biting at the glove between pearly white teeth to remove it, making you flinch at the first touch of his warm hands.  He had lowered himself to kiss your stomach, his lips parting to allow his tongue to moisten his lower lip.  Hands trailed up your legs and along your arms, deft touches, making your muscles relax, as much as your mind told you to sat aware.  The hands on your thighs crept higher and higher, once accidently brushing the outer lips protecting your sex.  You knew he would find you wet once he touched there, once he made you open it to his view.  Your stomach as always was in knots at his innocuous touch, it would never remain that way.  You shuddered, as he gruffly ordered you to lay back onto your bed, no choice but to obey, as he trailed oil slick fingers up your torso.  Massaging feather-light touches around the areola, careful not to brush the still overly sensitive nipples with his stiff fingers, but coming too close to the tight bundles of nerves not to have an effect.

“Your breathing is awfully heavy Pet.”

You blushed, your mouth drying at what you knew he was intoning by his comment.  You knew your body reacted to his touch, it was too common place not to.  You mumbled an apology, turning away as he pulled his body over yours, closing your mouth tightly as you fought to control your breathing.

“Still denying yourself the pleasure of it pet?”

He chuckled, fingers parting your sex growling as he slid fingers easily inside of you, the gathered slickness doing little to show solidarity to your initial revulsion at his touch.

As always it wasn’t long before your body won out the battle with your mind, the brush of one pad against your straining clit, forcing the first mewl from your mouth.  Pushing aside the unfairness of it all, to concentrate on this, the sooner he forced your body to obey, the quicker it would all be over.  The digits dancing over your cunt, playing your body as expertly as he had taught it to conform to his touch.  His plush lips pursing as he dropped a ball of spit over your nipple, following it with a stream of cold air, the gentle touch making you squirm under him.  Tears of over stimulation spilling from the corners of your eyes whilst you gritted you teeth, as though it would help you withstand the sensation.         

“So much more responsive to my touch like this.”

He had stopped blowing to speak, making you able to open your eyes to him once more.  The moisture on your nipple still leaving it painfully aware of the wash of air each word pushed over it, as he shifted his position to nestle between your open legs.  He pushed his fingers into your mouth, a silent instruction for you to suck them clean, the smell of your unwanted arousal as pungent as the taste.  He liked rubbing your nose in it, liked pulling apart your refusals to accommodate him, until they left you like this, too high strung to brake yet, but later you would.  When he left you shattered around the remnants of your short lived high, you would shatter again, this time with a constant reminder buried inside of you.    

With a twist of his hips he was inside of you, his fingers keeping up their residence in your mouth, as he thrust deeper rocking his hips.  Running his cock in circles over your cervix, whilst he kept his fingers hooked inside of you, hooking your bottom lip like a fish.  He took you slowly, though keeping his thrusts firm and short, without any preamble or the addition of his other sick games.  Clearly the one he had you partaking in was enough to pique his interest.  Eventually pulling a broken sob of pleasure when your body obeyed his commands to cum, as he let go inside of you.  Hips twitching as be deposited his seamen inside of you.

It wasn’t enough for him though to degrade you just the once.  Hooking his leg around one of yours, pulled hard and rolled.  His supple strength and range of muscles tossing you with ease, keeping his cock seated inside of you. Making you roll on top of him, your legs spread either side of his narrow hips.  Hands clutching at the globes of your ass nails digging sharp crescents into you, as he gave the sharp order to continue; forcing yourself to fuck yourself on his cock.  Each roll of your hips, guided by his hands, one at your hip, the other at your belly.  Twisted pride evident in his work as he gripped your hair, twirling the length it in his hand to pull it, forcing your head back and your back to arch as you fucked him.  The pregnant swell of your belly, forced even further forwards.  Obscenely displaying the fruits of his labours, the one mark you knew you would never erase from your mind.  Your body would end up marked as being forced to carry what was his, marked as having done so, but with nothing to show for it. You panted, your clit unable to escape the touch of his skin, the ginger curls on his pubis rough and scratchy on the cum-slick skin above your clit. 

He growled, his lip curling back in an animalistic snarl, before his bit.  His teeth leaving marks were the collar would let him, painting your neck and shoulder in purple welts.  His own hips snapping up into yours, holding you still whilst he fucked up into you.  His mouth moving to suckle at one tender protruding nipple, leaving your throat hoarse and swollen; whilst you literally screamed through your painful second orgasm.  Somewhere in that you gathered he must have found his second release, or else given up trying for another.     

You were exhausted.  Your body covered in a sheen of post orgasm sweat, everything to rough and too warm his touch like nettles, on your hypersensitive skin.  You needed to get away, but you didn’t have the energy to fight the arms that still gripped you, so gasping for air you just flopped forwards numbly onto his chest.  Your legs, a mess of his seed and your own cum, the combined fluids trickling from your now empty cunt, as he tipped you back onto the mattress.  The soft cotton rubbing your spine, whilst he reached onto the night stand.  Turning to you clutching an offering like it was pure gold, moving to sit on the side of the bed.  Trying to persuade your wilted body to sit up, and take it from him.

“It’s a data pad.”

You could see that, but sensibly you held back from telling him that.  It was the first thing that they had offered you that you could possibly use, something to actually do at last.  You reached to snatch it deftly from his hands, before he could change his mind on giving you it.  Clutching it to you like it was your firstborn, your fingers running the ends searching for the buttons, had you finally done something right for him? Tracing the lines that circumnavigated the outer edge; you waited for him to be done, so he could leave you alone with it.

“It’s an old one, mostly books, Pet.  But there’s one or two pregnancy guides I have uploaded for you.”

The excitement at finally having something to do, quickly soured.  Scowling you rolled back over placing the pad on the side of the mattress; it was no longer worth the excitement.  Pulling a pillow from the pile behind you, you turned onto your side.  Curling around it as you breathed low and steady to calm the prickling at your eyes, and the frustration bubbling in your chest.  Stupidly, you had forgotten to heed his warnings to you; you were after all just a well-trained cunt, one that had in your innocence mistakenly assumed this was a gift for you.  Of course it wasn’t, instead it was a gift one for the thing he had implanted inside of you.  A handbook for you to follow, just one more provision for the safe delivery of his heir.  The tears fell, your face an unfeeling mask of frozen trauma.    

“Pet, you can’t burry you head in the sand, you’re having a baby.  You need to know what to expect, in these next few months.”

Sighing, he stood up to readjust his clothing.  He was cross, he always was cross at you, though that wasn’t what really upset you; he was right this was happening to you.  But the refusal to accept what was happening, slightly worried him, and you enjoyed that tiny level of control.  Though you could see why he allowed you to indulge in that small smug piece of control, it was like a leash, that only had so much give before you had run its length.  It couldn’t last long, common sense and necessity would soon demand for him, that you look up what was going to happen.  That if this pregnancy was successful, you would have to give birth, there was lots you needed to know.  If nothing else, it would make it imperative you looked at the offered information. 

But you couldn’t do it right now, especially with him hovering over you like a proud parent, and you didn’t need his lectures to tell him you should.  It was hardly him that needed to go through with this, he wasn’t risking himself, he would suffer nothing.  His body would need nothing, he was just the sperm donor.  The man who had fucked this thing into you, the thing that imposed on your body the need to submit to his whims.  The nine months of waiting in fear, were just the practice for the final event, the one that would rip from you; what was supposed to be most sacred to you, in the largest betrayal yet.  You couldn’t look at that information; to discuss it casually over tea and biscuits was one thing, you could pretend it was just a random conversation.  If you picked up that pad, and read about it, it would become real.  Already the signs were showing, and it was harder to ignore, or pretend this was just an illness, or a state that would soon pass.  Either the assailants had stopped sending drugs, or else they were successfully intercepted, and as time went on you, knew there was less and less chance of a way out of this.

He was already dressed, his hair slicked back into place, even his gloves back on; when he tried pulling you back up to face him.  Nothing but the mess on your sheets, and at your newly washed thighs, to suggest anything had taken place between you both.  Naturally, you refused his action, making your body a lead weight in his hands, you knew if he needed to he could move you but he would struggle.  He tutted, the leather pad of his thumb, efficiently brushing away your tears, as though what he was doing was reasonable, and you were a wilfully naughty child, whose parents had come to chastise them.

“Pet, this is not a punishment, it’s an honour; and I will keep you safe.  A child needs its mother.”

It was too much to bare, to remain silent, your mouth twisting into a parody of his own when he choose to sneer at you.  Your voice a quite growl as you spat your distaste at him.

“For how long, does a child need its mother then; your highness?”

Your face was as detached as his at his cruellest moment, and your voice just as cold as you spat your question at him.  He had already told you that this was his and Ren’s child, and that negated any reason to keep you around, to poison it with you differing political views.  What were you needed then for; an example to be shown you own child of why not to pick the more gentler side.  What happened when you fought for what you believed to be good, and not for power.  It wasn’t that you held any sensible hope of an answer, that would have been too much kindness to ask of your enemy; just that you couldn’t risk the false hope.  It was there with the worry that you wouldn’t become attached, that the heartbreak of having something you didn’t want would burry you alive with the guilt.  Fascinated you had watched him swallow hard twice.  His cheeks tinging pink at your question, in what you assumed to be anger, his jaw clenching twice before he took a deep, but sudden breath in.  That had made you huddle tighter, watching for any sudden movements, sure that any moment now he would lose his temper at you.  Flinching when he spun quickly on his heels, as though to march quickly from the rooms.  He took a hesitant step, to move away stopping bizarrely to come back to you, leaning over you, a hand either side of your face.  Your hands in his, titling you flat on your back, his own inches from yours, as he hissed a warning to you.

“Until I say so Pet.”

It still didn’t really answer anything.  Just his mouth pressing to yours, as though to claim your lips, his breath warm and imposing on your cheeks.  You were shocked, both at his willingness to give you further lenience’s without hurting you, and the speed of his reply. 

“I have to go Pet.  There are, others who also demand my attention.”

It wasn’t a crisp goodbye, or a barked order; just an honestly spoken goodbye, filled with actual tenderness.  It wasn’t an apology for scaring you, but it was the first time he had shown you any true remorse at having to leave you.  He moved the pillow from your chest, eyes dark as he moved to press a lone chaste kiss to the burgeoning, lump of flesh, his thumb rubbing under the swell of your stomach, when he moved to kiss you again.               

“Maker, you carry so well.”

He meant his child, and you cringed, blushing to his delight as much at the words in the uncomfortable sentence, as the enamoured way he spoke of you.  The closed mouth kiss he had intended as your last one deepened, his cock stirring against your thigh, when he lay gingerly over you; careful not to press over your stomach.  You honestly thought he would take you again, wincing as he touched back at the overly sensitive mess of your pussy.  When you whimpered in pain, he to your further surprise stopped, kissing your forehead; whilst he apologised, removing his hand, and reiterating that he had others to see, he had to go now.

“Do you mean to go and see to Ren, or will you visit with one of your other whores?”

He stood quickly, straightening his tunic, Hux was as genuinely shocked by your comment, as you were the sheer jealousy in it.  He was blatantly off to satisfy more carnal urges, he wasn’t shy of telling you when it was business.  His eyes narrowed; the red spots of anger replaced on his cheeks.  You had struck a nerve, did he not like you referring to other women as whores, perhaps as they went willingly they weren’t?  He ignored that, but your further outburst, when you asked if he was breeding them too; maybe a whole army of little Huxes, was clearly too much for him, his voice a low order to cease your vulgarities.  That was too much, kneeling up as much as to gesture to your abdomen, as the need to be in a less vulnerable position.  

“I’m the one being vulgar; look at me your _high-and-mightiness_ , look at what you’ve done to me.  This isn’t some love child, it’s a bi-product of your abuse!  Tell me, do you rape the others too, or do they see to your vile needs willingly?!”            

His jaw clenched, and you half expected Ren to appear to his defence; he would be aware of his master’s discomfort, wouldn’t he?  You hoped so, hoped there was a Force-bond, just so that he could experience it all too.  In a rare show of uncertainty Hux was speechless and unsure what to do with you, though his eyes blazed fire.  His hands twitched and you flinched, hating the by-product of his training, his fingers wrapping your throat as much to steady himself, as to make you shut up, and look at him.

“I am not pleased, do not mistake my small clemencies for mercy pet.  Clearly my sister has not been the positive influence I had hoped her to be.”

Your fingers scratched at his hands, nails unable to damage him through the leather coverings.  He had to know though that you were struggling to breath, wheezing from the lack of oxygen as his temper ruled his sensibilities. 

“Yes, I’m going now to fuck Ren; though your fear that you might have competition from others, rather puts paid to your protests, that you don’t want this position for yourself, doesn’t it?!”

He tossed you aside like ragdoll, leaving you to gasp in breaths of air, your head spinning with the sudden quantities of oxygen rich air.  He reached for the data pad, putting it on your ribcage in an unmistakable order to read it.  His voice and actions calm and level again as he reached to the door lock, not even needing to look back on you to know his words had a chilling and instant effect on you.

“This is your last warning Pet, we only need your body to ensure you deliver safely.  I will risk the surgery, if you do not comply with my instructions, do put yourself, or my child at risk.”      

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a fun note though, Happy Valentines Day :-D <3 <3 xxx


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second posting of the day

You woke at some time during the middle of the night.  Jolting awake in a blind and somewhat unexpected confused panic, unsure what the hell had woken you up.  The handmaidens had left hours ago, having seen to your night routine and settling into bed.  Nothing should be amiss, there had been no changes to your established routine, and in the last week had seen little enough of Hux to incur any new punishments from him, or to hopefully risk his ultimate threat.  Instead it had been quite a calm week, so why were you so worried?  A sharp acute pain to your abdomen, had you gritting your teeth to stop you crying out in pain.  Another much less prominent one, followed by a dull cramp; had you sliding your fingers under your nightdress; to your sex, terrified at what it could signal.  You felt wet; your fingers running through slick, somewhat thinner than the usual secretions, your over worked sex normally produced these days.  Shuffling your legs from the protection of the bedcovers, you brought your fingers up to the moonlight, shaking in abject terror as you did so.

You were bleeding, and rubbing your fingers over the sheets, you found a small patch of dampness.  Another on your cotton nighty, neither huge but both dark enough to reduce you to hyperventilated breathing.  Putting your hands over your mouth you screamed desperately into it, a sob of pure despair tearing brittlely from your parched throat.  You kicked away the sheets clutching your ankles, sliding from the bed to the floor, keeping the blood-stained fingers curled up to your chest.  Too afraid to touch anything with them, to tarnish anything else with them.  You struggled to boneless feet, rushing from the bedroom and into the refresher room; skidding and nearly falling over on the smooth stone floor, in your desperation to prove it wasn’t true. 

You ordered the lights on, not bothering to set a percentage, too desperate to have been mistaken; that the dark smear on your fingertips wasn’t blood.  Not allowing your brain to comprehend the punishment if it was.

It was blood though, sitting onto the toilet you wiped yourself, a fresh crimson swipe on the paper confirming your worst fears.  You weren’t even going to be allowed to die for your failure, Hux wasn’t even going allow you such a luxury.  He would assume on principle; that you had a hand in this, there was no way he would believe anything else, even with Ren’s mind probe.  You stood, intending to walk around the room, to calm yourself, your body and mind, for once in agreement; unable to work out if you needed to sit down or pace the floor. 

Your legs gave out on you and you slipped, jolting your knees painfully on the floor, grazing your hands and skinning your knees.  You didn’t try and move from the spot, curling around yourself to wail loudly.  Hux was going to turn you into one of those things, he would remove your skull, and make you the perfect obedient slave.  There would be no way of stopping him from performing every perverse act he wanted on you, and you would automatically comply; he would make you one of Decraniated.

Voices in your bedchamber though you didn’t pay them any attention, too lost to your own distress, curling up tighter on yourself.  A gasp, and a string of shouted words some in basic, others in the language the Handmaiden’s used between themselves, before hurried footsteps reached the refresher room’s door.  They roughly swung it open, giving more shouts amongst themselves, before someone else yelled for silence. 

Astrid herself had been summoned, and between her and the other two attendants they tried to get answers from you.  Astrid, barrelling you with a number of questions, whilst taking delight at your distraught state.  Smugly repeating Hux’s threats to you, as you refused her demands to get up from the floor.  It was pointless, why comply to anything if they were going to do this to you, better to stay here and wait.  Bitterly you told yourself this was your own fault, you deserved this fate, didn’t you?  You hadn’t wanted this pregnancy, and now you were paying the price Hux had laid out for your noncompliance.  The only good to come from all this anguish, was that it wouldn’t be your baby that Hux tortured, with a loveless childhood.  It would have to be someone else’s womb they used, some poor sod from their collection would have to be used instead.  You wouldn’t be forced to feel guilty for having to hand it over, to your offspring for being unable to protect it.  The handmaidens refused to let up their attempts to move you.  Even the three of them together tried frantically pulling you from the floor, Astrid barking at your orders to return to the bed, so that you could be assessed. None of their attempts met with violence from you, no matter how aggressive they got with you; just a lifeless refusal to move as you wore out even your ability to cry.

“Get out! Leave us!”

That voice should have terrified you, if nothing else the pure power behind each spoken word should have terrified you as much as it did the Handmaidens.  Somewhere in your cataplexy you heard the pattering of feet rushing to obey Ren’s growled order, leaving you alone to your fate. 

You snivelled, ignoring the trail of tears and saliva that streaked your face and the flag stone floor.  Hux had sent Ren to collect you for your sentencing, it was pointless to take care of yourself now.  You had no reason to care, and soon you would have no face to worry about keeping clean.  Slowly the black figure came close, crouching down behind you to place a hand over your lower back, sighing before giving you an order to roll over.  You shook your head, not so much refusing his order, as finding disbelief at how unfeeling he was about your fate.  But then again, this would make you more complaint towards him, you supposed this would be easier for him.

He lowered his knees to the floor next to you, sitting next to you, as his easy strength uncurled your body.  Coaxing it slowly from it from where it lay huddled over your blood-stained fingers.  The black glove took your fisted hand in his, and you watched more than felt, as he prised them apart.  Dark eyes full of sorrow, as he took stock of the drying gore before pulling you sharply into his arms, cradling you sideways over his lap.  He ran soothing circles at your back, shushing you as he rocked you, crooning that it was okay; everything was fine.  You stared at him mouth agape, at the audacity of his lies, it wouldn’t be okay, couldn’t they just get on with it.  He brushed the tangled matts of your hair from your tear stained cheeks, ignoring the blotchy mess of your face; to kiss your forehead, dabbing at the mess of your face.

“I’m, I, I. Hux is going to, to, to.”

You couldn’t get the words out, your tongue made of cotton as you spoke, making him clutch you tighter.  It was so raw, so tender and unfair, that it renewed your sobs, your body hiccupping all the more violently at this mockery, your desperate cries racking your body.  This was it, his tenderness came at a price, and the price for losing their baby, would literally be the removal of your head, your face would be gone, and with it the trace remains of your identity.  Patiently Ren waited out your hysteria, shushing you more whilst he waited for you to exhaust yourself.

Done with the last bout of exhausted energy you flopped there, the occasional sob still racking your tired frame.  He ordered you to look at him, his voice placid for all the depth in his rumbling tone; eyes gentle and devoid of any harshness, or evil taunt, just flecks of gold floating in a brown sea of molten chocolate.

“You’re not miscarrying Pet, it’s just a little blood.  I can sense no distress from the babies.”

You repeated the last word, you voice quiet with wonder, not letting yourself give into the languid relief, that they were fine; that you were fine.  You were bleeding weren’t you, that was bad in pregnancy, thinking back to the guides, Hus had ordered you to read, you remembered something there about bleeds in the first trimester, they weren’t all that uncommon.  Taking a deep breath you allowed your hands to press to your belly, cupping the small beings that resided there.  Twisting from his grasp and onto your knees to face him, mouth agape with wonder, and nervous dread.

“Twins?”

He closed his eyes, lowering his head in a slow inclination of a nod, taking you tiny hand in his, bringing it to rest on the swell above your hips, his own resting loosely behind it.  You struggled in his grip, too used to him hurting you; to trust this moment.  He was about to threaten or hurt you again, you knew it readying yourself to run.

“Stop it, and hold still.  Let me show you.”

The order was sharper, and well trained in self-preservation you closed your eyes as ordered, unable to relax at his touch; but allowing him to keep your hand there.

 Your head aching with a dull pain in your brow, the result of too much crying.  His lips pressed over the centre, taking with him the pounding headache behind your eyes.  Another softly spoken shush as he knelt up, bending over your smaller form; lowering his forehead to yours.  His hair fell in soft curtains over your face, the warmth of his breath washing over you as he asked for your other hand.  You lifted your hand up to him, feeling as his fingers wrapped your wrist, bringing your palm to his chest.  Pressing it onto the muscles covering his heart; holding it there, as he told you to concentrate on it. 

The slow powerful thud was almost hypnotic, the steady beat lulling your muscles and your busy thoughts into relaxed submission, and gently you felt the brush of his mind against yours.  You tensed at first, your instincts desperate to keep him out, letting go of that, as you realised how futile it was.  He had been in your mind so many times that there was little point keeping him out, if he could learn anything then so be it, it would make no difference now.

“I don’t want to see your mind, I want to show you something.”

Had you heard that aloud, or like the orders on the dancefloor; were the words spoken into your mind?  Either way it was irrelevant, and you let go on your fear, you tension.  Letting him into your consciousness, his mind touching yours with the gentleness of a feather, and slowly melding into you.  Your touch on his body seemed to leave you almost hypersensitive to your own physique, your awareness of it following his guidance, as he led you through the fragile workings of your body.  There was the beating of your heart, a slowing thundering in as it strained in your chest, the rushing pull of air through your lungs, the gentle gurgle of your stomach as it digested last night’s meal.

Never had you been so aware of your body, your entire being languid to his command, as he gently showed you how to follow the whoosh of oxygenated blood, as it seeped lower and lower to your waiting abdomen.  You could almost feel it pass through each artery, pulsing with contained energy and promise, down and down until you felt something else.

They lay nestled in your womb, their hearts drumming in separate beats to the same tempo. Each tenfold in rhythm with the constant rush of your life’s blood to their systems.  The rhythm of your blood through their tiny bodies more that of fluttering of a butterfly’s wing, than anything had a right to be, and oh so much more delicate.  Slowly he spread your awareness out and through the webbings of their bodies, to the womb that contained them, nothing amiss, nothing wrong with you.  Able to sense no distress or panic to the fragile, tiny life contained in there, safe, warm and nourished; you revelled in it.  The panic at this first connection lost in an instant, as warmth settled into your chest, and a lost feeling that grew until it couldn’t be constrained.  They were alive, well and unharmed, leaving the pulling your hand from his chest, you cradled your babies inside of you.  Your heart taking a stab of guilt that you could have betrayed them so much with your coldness.   They were not sleeping monsters, waiting to develop into terrifying paragons of cruelty; they were innocent and pure; and your mind thought with a protective snarl at the mind still entwinned with your psyche; they were yours.

Tears of guilt, still ran your face when you opened your eyes to take back in the world, everything too loud and too bright on your sensitive senses, the guilt more apparent than ever before.  There was so much you needed to know, so much you had to know, so much they hadn’t told you.  Your mind flipped back to the guide book you had been force to read; aware now of the differences, in their development.  More things made sense the more you thought on it, your extreme tiredness, even the bump was too large for one babies at the stage you had assumed yourself to be, let alone two.       

“You’re further along than we thought, you didn’t miscarry on your last bleed.  Hux wouldn’t believe me, he insisted I was wrong, that’s why he fetched you his family’s physician.  The doctor lied to us Pet, to put you in danger.  He will die, I promise you this.”

He meant every word of his promise, his face that of serine certainty.  It would have made you shudder if he threatened another for you; but this was for your children, and not for you.  For them you would have ripped him apart yourself, so you nodded in acceptance of Ren’s oath.  Watching for the smirk that never came, just a tilt of his head, to acknowledge your answer.  Taking a deep breath, you stood, walking away from Ren and to the sink.  Pouring yourself water, cupping your hands under the flow, to both wash your face with and sip on, as you watched his reflection in the mirror above it.  He stood himself, the black expanse of clothed muscle, unfolding itself from his spot on the floor, coming towards you.  His eyes expressive as they followed the lines of your body, licking his lips when they washed over the translucent fabric.  You shuddered, aware there was excitement there, and dreading that he would take you now, in payment for quelling your fears.

 “I need to take you to Hux, he’s demanding to know you’re safe.”

His voice was gravelly but calm, his hands circling your thickening waist, shuffling you into the bedroom, manoeuvring a dark blanket around your shoulders.  He bent at the knees, lifting you into his arms, your hands instinctively clutching at the front of his tunic for support, making him chuckle deeply at your panicked grabbing of him.  He was silent the entire journey, and you were too tired to reasonably request that he let you walk.  It was late, and only the occasional servant was there to watch you being carried by the Emperor’s consort.  Your bare feet poking from under the makeshift cloak, as he padded slowly through corridors, to the combined rooms he shared with the Emperor.

You scowled as he pushed open a door with his mind; well aware that what Hux wanted to make sure was safe were the children inside of you.  You were after all, just the incubator to his children, just his slave and his whore, he told you enough, that you wouldn’t forget it now.  Their chambers were dimly lit, but he didn’t need the light on to see; carrying you deftly through the living area, another door opening to a small passage you had never been down.  There was the slapping of bare feet on the hard floor, and a door swung open to reveal a pale Hux.  He was wearing sleep clothes, and his hair was a mess, nothing like the normally correctly placed man who haunted you.  He mouthed the word Ren, suddenly animated as he insisted to the larger man; that he hand you over to him.  His arms stretching out to scoop you from Ren’s grip, your feet never touching the floor your chin tucking tightly to your chest, burying under the cover.

He walked into the bedchamber, this one you gathered by the personal effects littering the wall really was **_their_** bedroom, and not the lavish rooms they normally bedded you in.  The room was still as large, but less garishly decorated, much more tasteful, the furniture echoing the simplicity of the pieces in his office.  Across on window, was a huge glass wall of window, looking out into the starlit nights sky, and two of Naboo’s three moons bathing the outside garden in silver moonlight.

“You like my garden?”

You didn’t look at him, he must have seen you staring at it.  It was beautiful though, more a water garden than plants, the sound of running water trickling through rocky out crops and waterlogged pools.  You had never seen it before, never having been allowed this far into his personal spaces.  You couldn’t answer digging your face deeper under the pieces of blanket you clutched to your chin.  It was already so surreal in itself to be carried by your emperor to his bed chamber, this softness was worse.  You couldn’t bring yourself to look up at the eyes you could feel burrowing into the top of your head, the invisible weight of them scorching your scalp.  His muscles shifted, and he clutched you to him, allowing you a longer view of the outside before turning to take you to his bed.

Someone had already pulled back the coverlets, making it easy for Hux to place you on their bed.  Leaning over and kneeling onto the edge, for support as he lifted you into the middle.  He pulled at the corner of the blanket, untucking it from around you.  Peeling it from under you, cooing to you as he lay along your left side, pulling his coverlets over you, to replace the warmth of the blanket.  Ren undressed to his underpants, lifting one corner of the bed; to slide under to join you in the immense bed.  Laying himself along the other side of you, each of the men wrapping an arm around your waist, as though to protect the one thing that really mattered about you to them.

Their body heat gradually bled into you, making you for the first time realise; how chilled you had become.  Lately it was more common for you to be too hot, and not this shivering coldness.  Was it the walk here that had caused it, or the long stretch you had spent on the refresher room floor.  Either way you found yourself unwittingly allowing yourself to enjoy the heat, to burrow under the covers.  Their hands moving to let you take hold of your baby bump.  It was too uncomfortable on your back, the added weight of the twins at your abdomen almost painful, and threatening to leave you with a back ache.  You didn’t know if it was okay to move, if they would assume you were trying to push them away and escape; until two sets of hands helped you to roll.  Supporting you onto the more comfortable position of your side.  Ren stroking your back his fingers warm through the thin material of your nightdress.  Hux brushing fingers across your forehead, punctuating them with soft kisses.  The redhead lay entirely on his side, his right arm brought back and under his head, his other constantly stroking your face.  He looked down at you, the pale ginger brow open and relaxed, his eyes wandering your face, as though searching.   

This could almost be called intimate, if this had ever been what you wanted, if you still didn’t feel fear and loathing for what these two had done to you.  Children in general had never been anything you had considered, and having them forced on you now met with another bitter sweet stab of pain of realisation.  For how long would Hux let you keep them?  Would you hold them as they grew into tiny people; or once they were over their first fragile months would he take them from you, to try to mould them into carbon copies of himself.  Ren’s Force-sharing of them nestled warm and protected had woken in you a fierce need to protect them, to save them from ever having to feel as you did now.  But you knew with a desperate certainty that you couldn’t protect them from the men either side of you now.  You could stand up to them, and they would laugh as they teared you down, revelling in the control they wrought over you.  Tears threatened to fall again, stopped by a sudden dull stab in your groin.  In all the weirdness of Hux’s actions you had forgotten what had brought you here.  The man at your back moved closer, his chest practically flush to your back, as you drew air, ready to speak.  Quickly you blurted out why you were here, concentrating on the banding of spots, tracing the skin above the white vest he slept in.  He would punish you, find some way of turning this back on you, it was too good a chance for him to give up, but better do this now, than wait for Ren to tell him.  Your body tensed, despite the tightening of the arm at your back, telling yourself you were ready for his cold fury.

“I know Pet, Ren sensed your fear from here.  Through the Force-bond we share; I felt it too.”

Of course he knew, that was why you were here, and you had been foolish to think you told him anything new.  Why else would Ren have known to bring you to their more private quarters.  It had answered one of your more older suspicions though; they were Force-bonded then.  How much of your fear then did Hux intuitively pick up, and how much did he glean from Ren; feeding him back your emotion.  The first time he had ordered Ren to fuck you, had he sat on that throne, his Dark-Jedi Knight, relaying all he had felt at taking you, did he also relay the horror you felt at his touch.  You needed to tread gently now, to snare the monster, allowing your voice to show less intent than you felt, you spoke gently, and for the first time with feigned innocence. 

“So did you also see when Ren showed me the babies?”

Hux raised himself up, looking down at you.  He was too used to your inability to lie, to realise now you simply twisted your intent, the words would be true, they had to be to stop the Force-adept at your back from growing suspicious.

“No Pet you were too far from me for Ren to relay it.  That moment was between you and Ren, but I was already aware you were carrying twins. I was not however aware until you came back now though, that the physician had lied to us.  Truly Pet, I swear he will pay for his deceit; name the punishment and I will have him suffer it for you, before I have him executed.”

That was exactly the twisted answer you would have expected from Hux.  He would know that this violence repulsed you, he did not need to try and make you complicit in it all.  You pursed your lips, you frowning as you bit on the loose skin around a knuckle, allowing your mouth to twist into a scowl, before you allowed the words of your next thought to slip over your tongue.  Voicing then not as their, caged and tortured pet, but as a mother, the one thing that would either save you all or damn you with them.

“You don’t know the sex yet do you, Ren hasn’t told you?”

Hux stiffened, though whether in nervous trepidation, or anxious excitement you couldn’t tell.  Either way you were forced to continue, led there by your own choice path.  You knew the babies’ sex, it had been there with everything else Ren had shown you, their vulnerability all the more desperate for protection.  Your fate, not so dissimilar to how Hux could mould theirs; if he so choose to do so.  Your only hope, was that this would buy you more time with them, for their weaknesses, your ultimate failure to his cause.

“Both the babies are girls; neither can be your heir.”


	22. Chapter 22

You waited with baited breath, either a blow or a harsh word would come next and either one would be your fault.  You had deemed it necessary to see the defeated look of anguish you had hoped would come with your news, it didn’t.  Just a slow blinking of his eyes, infuriating in his ability to keep calm when you so wanted to see him fall apart.  His wrath would have been tonic to your nerves, but this waiting pushed you further to the precipice of grief.  You had played a card, and of course lost, he was neither going to deny or confirm if he knew, just wait to see if you would crumble first, and how.  You were held so tightly between them both, that to struggle would have been pointless, instead you held still; the comfort in their body heat now searingly hot.  Ren had sensed the tension in your muscles, the palms of his hand sweeping over your shoulder, and along your arm.  Hux more watched for it, the corner of his mouth twisting into a sad lopsided smile, whilst he cupped your cheek, tilting your face up at him, running his thumb across your cheek.

“You think the sex of my children, bothers me Pet?”

You stammered out a hasty reply, full of the pitiful reserves of taunts you had left.  His father clearly wouldn’t be pleased, with bastards, let alone girls; you had seen how he treated his own daughter. He ran a finger over the neckline of your nightdress, following the mock pattern of buttons leading to your stomach.

“I am not my father, I don’t find the female sex inferior to my own; merely different.”

His finger touched the bump of your babies, splaying his fingers as though to clarify his words.  He leaned closer; the tip of his tongue darting over his bottom lip, his eyes focused on your mouth.  Your top lip curled, settling into a scowl; did the man never take a break. He dipped his head as though to follow his line of sight his intent obvious; not only were his appetites so distasteful, they were insatiable too.  You squirmed uncomfortably, the wash of mint from his breath coming closer to your own, the man behind you pressing a kiss to the back of your head.  You had a moment ago, thought them about to offer you a fate worse than death, and now tempted by your fear, they no doubt wished to satiate that appetite.  Had Hux been this excited since Ren relayed your fear you wondered; had he paced his rooms waiting for Ren to bring you to him, just so that he could fuck you?  Desperately you squealed another protest, knowing better than to duck your head away from him, or to fight him, but needing so much to avoid doing this now.  

“But you wanted boys, you referred to my baby, as a he!”

Your body had already broken out into a cold sweat, made of revulsion and anguish, your heart rate increasing.  You had just faced what you had thought was the horror of a miscarriage, and now he was going to rape you.  The man who preached the errors of improper behaviour to the masses, was behind closed doors probably braking every single one of his own laws. 

“It was a figure of speech Pet, nothing more, I am ecstatic you have carried these first few months.  Boys can come later, if that is what I need.”

His mouth pressed to yours, and you would have cried, if you could have summoned the energy.  Wearily you were made to accept his touch, painfully aware that laws didn’t apply to you.  You were a both a slave and his prisoner, you were not give the luxury of a choice.  He ran fingers up your side; following the curve of your hip, meandering back across your belly, and up between your breast to grip at your neck.  His grip held you in place, whilst his tongue slipped into your mouth, his head tilting to allow his lips to move to your ear, sucking the fleshy lobe between his teeth. 

Not only would he do this but he would repeat this too, he was going breed you until you produced a boy.  Would one be enough, or would he insist on having a spare too?  Would you hold any of them, and see them grow.  The repulsion rose like a leviathan, in your stomach, mixing with the bile there,

You were going to be sick if you opened your mouth, your stomach poised ready to tip you over the edge.  His mouth trailed along your cheek, the lips coming closer, until you realised if he pressed his lips to your mouth, you honestly would be sick.  Unable to deliberate any longer, you tried twisting onto your stomach; to ready your cumbersome body to push away. 

You tangled in the mix of legs and bedsheets, aware that the last thing to help your cause, would be to vomit on the Emperor.  You doubted he would do little more than have you cleaned up and sent to back to him, earning you a punishment on top of your other duties to his cock.  Your stomach gave a lurch, and you knew with total futility, that it was too late.  The bile spilling past your oesophagus and into your closed mouth, as a pair of arm behind you gripped you.  Effortlessly twirling to spin himself and you off the bed.

“Spit it out!”

You obeyed Ren without hesitation, opening your mouth to spill your vomit onto a thickly carpeted floor.  Another wave emptying your stomach, leaving it painfully empty for the third cramp of your stomach muscles.  Splattering’s of half-digested food flew everywhere, the hands at your waist slipping to cradle your stomach, as he lowered you to the floor.  Standing at your back, his bare chest firm against your back, as he bent over to lend you support; your bare feet slipping in the wool pile, when you moved away from the offending pile of spew.

Hux had already moved, the shower running in a small bathroom to the side of the bedroom, avoiding the mess, to bring a cool cloth to your face.  You flinched when he touched you, rolling your face away from him, his crass sensitivity was intolerable to you.  He gently asked if you were okay, if the cloth was too cold, did you want a drink?  You rolled your eyes, unable to understand the man’s audacity, he was bonded to Ren, the pair of them could feel what was wrong, how dare they then pretend this was an accident.  There were no accidents, only events he drove you to.  You pushed feebly against the arms that held you for Hux.  Amazed that Ren had let you go so easily, you stood to face Hux; demanding of him answers.

“When the time comes, will this be how you treat your daughters?  Will you force me to stand by unknowing, as they’re raped by husbands who don’t care, all to further your, _cause_? Or will you just explain to them that their mother is a filthy, little whore of a slave, who’s opinion doesn’t matter?”

You may as well of punched Hux, from the way he had recoiled to your yell, his face beyond white, almost grey in colour.  The eyes that had blazed with unsurpassed anger, suddenly so dull, as he took a step forwards, rocking on the ball of his foot deciding at the last minute to turn, door slamming behind him, as you heard him work his way through his chambers.  Ren didn’t move, standing at your back, as always explaining what the Emperor would not.                        

“You have never been his slave, for a time you were his prisoner, but never his slave.”

“I may as well have been for the choices you afforded me!”

You spun around to face the man at your back, as you yelled, it was always a risk, but generally safe to yell at Ren; sometimes he liked you angry.  How dare he speak so sadly, so remorsefully of what they had constantly led you to believe.  It was as though he accused you of hurting his lover; as though you were the aggressor in all of this, when he knew otherwise.  He had joined in, he had been the one to desecrate you first, tearing your innocence from you on the very throne room floor he had then chained you to.  Almost daily you were forced to look at the very spot he had used you, sleeping in the very bed Hux had seen to removing the last of your remaining virtues from you.  You could hear the smashing of something in a distant room, the distant tinkling still making you jump, so far was his reach on you. 

Lowering yourself to the floor, you blinked, running fingers through the wool twists, not caring that you probably were seated in your own vomit.  There was more, but right now it hurt too much to think it, speaking it would tear you apart, and you couldn’t do that.  Had you struck a nerve with Ren too, or was he that thick skinned, that he could happily sit there through your thoughts?  You sniffed, lifting your knees up.  Your stomach stopping them from coming close enough to rest your chin on, making you swing back a hand to punch at the bedframe behind you, yelping in pain at the contact.

The man knelt down, unabashed at his lack of clothing, the powerful muscles of his body folding to let him down.  He would never have to feel vulnerable, insignificant like you did; with power like he commanded, he had nothing, and no-one to fear.  He tutted, taking your wrist, in his own hands, the flush of heat making you snatch your hand away, telling him to leave you be.  You didn’t want his help, the pain in your hand was good, it gave you focus, it would hardly kill you.  He steadfastly refused to move from before you, making you jerk back your head from him when his fingers, reached to your face.  You wiped away the single tear that trailed down it, cursing yourself for still being able to cry.  He had no remorse, no feelings at all, your pain and disgust was like the passing of water through a stream to him.  It was never tangible to him unless he needed it, and easily turned aside if he wanted to ignore it.   

“You’re wrong Pet, the steam will eventually overcome any obstacle in its path.  I feel many things.  Bravery is neither an absence of pain and fear, but a conquering of them.”

He was in your bloody thoughts again, you swung your gaze up to him, eyes blazing with fury; your retort shot down with a wounded look.  He sagged; each formidable muscle weighted down with guilt, making you wonder, when those eyes had stopped holding anything but scorn for you and for what you were.  Was it his own guilt he offered, or an echo from the man who now presented an eerie shadow in the corner of your eye, his presence once again an unwanted, and fearful sight.  He was so controlled in public; that you doubted anyone would believe he could be so volatile in private.  He came into focus, striding purposefully over to you, making you cringe back, ready for him to take his offense at your question out on you. 

“Ren get her up off that bloody filthy floor!”

The last thing you expected was for him to have returned, let alone so precisely controlled once more.  His knuckles were now swollen and bloody, smearing onto your nightdress, as he took you from Ren.  Muttering that you needed to take better care of yourself now, than to sit in your own filth.  Pushing you, nightdress and all under the still running spray of the shower. 

If keeping you dressed was meant as a way to keep you decent whilst he washed you, it made no difference to it.  The material was already opaquely translucent enough when dry, and with the water drenching it through, it was reduced to absolute transparency.  It was pointless exercise keeping it on, it was nothing they hadn’t forced you to show them before.  You pulled the sodden fabric over your head, letting it fall with a wet plop to the floor. 

Hux washed off your hair, ignoring the water that splashed his own garments, giving Ren the order to find you something to sleep in.  He handed you the soap, and let you wash yourself, stepping back to pull you from under the stream of steam and running water and into a waiting towel.  You expected to suffer more of his touch, instead he left you to dry yourself off.  Advising you to follow him out into the bedroom. 

A tunic was laid out for you, and a clean smelling fragrance covered the previous nauseating smell on the carpet.  You fingered the tunic; it was soft, and judging from the colour choice one of Ren’s.  You pulled it on, the oversized garment falling to just below your knees, enough movement in it; to leave it loose over your bump.  The neckline hung to one side, dropping over one shoulder leaving your collar bare, the silver still glistening from the shower, and occasional droplet that fell from your hair.

“It’s late, would you prefer to sleep in here, or return to your room?”

You blinked, it had been so long since you had been offered a choice, you were not sure how to process it.  The idea of having to choose was perhaps even more scary now, than being told how you were to behave.  Which did you want; to go, or to stay?  It was late, and your body craved immediate sleep.  But if you got into their bed, did it mean that you were giving them permission to access your body. 

Silently, you drew your arms around yourself; offering yourself a poor comfort, but the only one you had.  You looked up at Hux, trying to see if there was any clue to how he wanted you to behave hidden there, panicking when you could find no clue to how to proceed.  Which did he want you to do, which would cause you less humiliation from him? 

Above your head, the two men exchanged looks, thoughts too you realised, frowning as you clutched tighter.  This matter of choices was a new game, and not yet knowing the rules, you knew it couldn’t end well for you.  It would be like the time he had taunted you with going to his father, not really a choice, just something worse if you answered wrong.  One of the men sighed, Hux you realised as he told you to get into the bed.  Placing Ren next to you, putting you back between them both to sleep, ordering the lights to full darkness, and you to sleep. 

Outside the window; the pale light of dawn had begun to filter through the windows, and along with the sounds of outdoors, it made you aware of how late it was.  In the semi-darkness, someone accidently touched you; making you flinch hard, the pain jolting your stomach and you awake.  It was followed by a shifting of both the bodies, away from you.  Ren ordered to stay by Hux, who climbed from the bed; his voice weary and thick with closeted emotion before he left you.

“You have never been their equal.  Tomorrow I will show you what happens to those who forget.”

You shifted over onto the opposite side of the bed, aware that Hux had likely told Ren to stay to guard you. Your heart flipping as a cold unease settled into the very marrow of your bones, he meant to kill someone else tomorrow, another death would be on your conscience.  You thought back to the Resistance members you had managed to save, wondering what had happened to your comrades at arms.  Last year now felt over a life time ago, so much had happened in the space of months.  You had been taken into that throne room for your execution.  What then had been so different about you, to make them decide to keep you alive, what was so special?  You would have asked, but now you didn’t dare, Ren would probably refuse to answer you on principle, without his lover present; or worse call him back.

The fear of having to witness what lurked somewhere in the other rooms, stilled your tongue from asking Ren, as quietly you seethed.  It was entirely Hux’s fault you were not safe, you should have been dead months ago, your body set to join the pile of your dead comrades.  Instead you had ended up your Emperor’s plaything, not even granted the luxury of being kept as just his whore; whores didn’t bare their master’s children.  That was what had put you at risk, not him bedding you, he had chosen this path, and the risks for you that came with it.  What were you then to him then, how was it he could claim to want to put you out of harm’s way, yet place you on the very course that would risk him loosing you.  How were you seen then by the rest of his court, did they all want to hurt you for what you contained in your belly, truly you could trust nobody. 

 

You woke to full sunlight streaming through the windows of the bedroom, the day was almost over; making you realise not only had you had slept well, but they had allowed you to sleep as long as you needed it.  You were alone but, warm in the bed, and you stretched out, pulling out the cricks and aches; that came from heavy sleep. 

Someone had cracked open one of the patio windows, whilst you had slept leaving you, an easy doorway into the garden.  A simple dress lay on one of the sideboards, along with a large drink.  You picked up the drink, and downed it greedily, your mouth dry and so very thirsty. 

Slipping off the tunic you washed in the shower, the dress easy to put on yourself, none of the fancy trappings that normally made you hand maidens necessary.  Dressed, you refilled the glass from the refresher sink, taking a leisurely stroll out into the garden, the late afternoon sun, warming on your back, easily drying the damp ends of your hair.  The garden was four walled, another courtyard you realised, encased on all sides by glass windows. 

Somewhere in one you gathered; would be Ren and Hux, and you knew you should probably seek to join them; that they would punish you from being alone outside.  But you couldn’t bring yourself to tear away from the garden, and the luxury of the fresh air and sunlight. You were barefooted, having forgone the slippers they had left for you, the ground not too uncomfortable on your feet.  The suns heat had seeped into the dark rocks, around the pools of water, leaving the ground pleasant to walk on.  Dotted in each pool of water was an assortment of water plants, and swimming around them small shoals of bright jewel-coloured fish, the sun glinting off their metallic scales.

“They won’t harm you.”

Arabella had snuck up on you, her face open and honest.  Matched by the pleasantness of her voice in her greeting of you.  It had been a week since she had been allowed to see you, no doubt kept away by Hux, as part of your punishment.  Encouraged, you gingerly lowered yourself onto the pond side, lowering your feet into the water.  Almost instantly the fish swam closer, a few appearing to take bites from your toes.  You screamed, instantly drawing your feet up out of the water, to the delight of Arabella who laughed at you.

“They’re after dead skin, they eat it.  Think of them like a spar experience.”

You were not used to being laughed at, not kindly at least.  So it took the entirety of your willpower to force your instincts to calm, and to take it in the spirit she intended it to be.  Feeling sheepish for your apparent silliness, you lowered your feet back into the water, a few of the fish returning, most swimming off.  Arabella lowered herself besides you, dipping her own feet into the water, holding still as the fish came back, explaining some of the other parts of the garden.  All of the plants and aquatics were from her home planet of Arkanis; the garden almost an exact, but smaller copy of one, she and her brother had played in when they were children.

“Of course, it takes some watering, the plants are used to far more rain than the watering mists, you get here on Naboo.”

She as always didn’t make you talk.  Letting you sit there and just enjoy the surroundings, and the company; adding the occasional prompt to ensure you didn’t feel uncomfortable or bored.  After a while you grew curious, asking after her own children. Unsure entirely why, but mainly angling slyly after information, on how Hux was with them.  This it seemed was deemed a safe topic, and disappearing briefly inside; she returned clutching a holo-pad, pulling up images to proudly show you.  For some reason, you had assumed that the boy would be the elder, instead he was the younger child, the two girls at least two or three years older.  There were images, and videos, some of her with them, and a few older ones of Hux with them.  They were the oddest to find; you had expected him to look stern and foreboding with them, instead he looked incredibly happy and very ordinary, very human. 

“He’s not seen them for quite some time, but he’s very patient with them, they miss him.”

That made you frown, swirling your feet into the water, to hide your discomfort.  It hurt all the more then; that the man who was capable of such cruelty to you, was capable of such kindness and understanding with others.  The woman next to you intuitive as always took a deep breath moving closer to you.

“What worries you; honestly?”

You wanted to tell her, you wanted to tell someone everything.  To be able to weep and scream as you told her what had happened, but you couldn’t.  He would know, and you couldn’t bear to think what he would do to you for embarrassing him.  There were footsteps behind you, and you turned expecting to find Hux or Ren trying to sneak up to join you both, discovering instead an unknown attendant.

“My-lady; Emperor Hux requests your presence.”

The softly spoken request, was clearly not in her mother tongue.  Arabella thanked her rising to her feet, explaining she would meet you in a moment, whilst the maid moved to help you up from the floor, offering you the shoes that you had declined to wear.  She told you off for being without them, the thick accent tinged with hints of another language you couldn’t place, as she waited for you to follow.  Slowly as she walked with you, the realisation began to dawn on you.  Hux had sent the maidservant to fetch you, and not his sister, had he also instructed you in how to address you, or was this another slip up like Zeltros. 

It confused you, leaving you with the niggling little though that perhaps your comment, the night before hit a nerve.  You stopped; leaning on a nearby tree, realisation suddenly hitting you, there was your answer to the question.  Hux couldn’t have known the sex of the babies, before last night.  You had managed to say the one thing that had made a difference; because it was the one thing he didn’t allow himself to think about. 

This maid was probably an apology to you, the freedom to move in his garden was in his head supposed to somehow be counted too amongst those amends.  You hated him even more for this, for his cowardice in sending others to try and mend what he had done, his refusal to openly admit he was wrong. 

Besides you the maid touched your arm, making you jolt suddenly out of your revere, snatching back your arm from her touch as though burnt, absent mindedly rubbing the patch she had touched.  She apologised, before asking if you were okay, asking you again to follow her.  You nodded to her, lying through your teeth that you were fine, you would never, ever be fine again.  You gestured to her to lead on, following her through rooms; to another unknown part of the Imperial Quarters.  She led you to a closed door, instructing you to enter, as she bid you goodbye, no doubt hurrying to fulfil another of the Emperor’s’ orders.  You knocked, waiting for the clipped command to enter, pushing the door open to step inside.

The dining room she had lead you to was small, occupied by Hux and his Father.  The latter one scowling as you walked in his usual greeting for you, the other man stood quickly knocking over his chair in his speed to get to you.  The man was furious, livid even; if the purple colour of his face was anything to go by, screaming his demands to know what you thought you were doing.  He went to storm over to you; intercepted by a suddenly appearing Ren; sabre outstretched and in the processes of deactivation.  You babbled out a string of apologies, not even protesting your innocence, though you were not sure what you had done wrong.  You backed away behind Ren, allowing yourself to turn and run into the previous room; shrinking back towards the wall as all three of the men followed you.  You tripped over something, falling onto it, screaming as you realised it was the dead maid on the floor.

“Hux, she didn’t know!”

Ren yelled out in panic, at your defence; as Hux looked down at you.  Already coming to the same conclusion, as you shuffled backwards on your bottom; away from the dead body.  It was definitely Ren’s work, there was a hole through the chest; the definite mark of a lightsabre.  You crawled back until your back hit something, realising you could go no further, you tried standing up, your legs refusing to work in your terror.  The maid clearly hadn’t been a message from Hux, and in this position; Brendol Hux had just become aware of your stomach.

He looked like a carbon copy of his son in his anger, the same pink spots appearing on his cheeks, the same understated attempts to control his anger in public. 

“Would you care to explain yourself, boy!”

His voice was low, and laced with quiet aggression and disgust, as he challenged his son.  Turning to face him, the sneer of distaste at you spread across his mouth.  You stared wide eyed at the Emperor, and despite having seem other interactions with his father; his actions still shocked you.  He almost hung his head in shame, not seeming to care that he was an adult.  Not even bothering to speak a reply, or a defence; until his father began to walk over to you.  His hand shot out; grabbing his father’s forearm and jerking him back.

“Don’t touch her.”

His voice was full of plea, and his eyes wide; pleading for you like a child does a beloved pet.  This time it was his father’s turn to look shocked, turning back to face his son; recovering quickly to speak.  Would he stop his father if he came for you, did he know how to stand up to him?  Would Ren intervene if he didn’t?    

“Don’t embarrass yourself Armitage, let me go and get a bloody doctor in here; can’t you see, it has to go.  If she whelps it; you can kiss goodbye to ever having a legitimate heir.  No respectable woman will stand for it.”

The ease and calmness at which he spoke of killing his grandchildren, was unnerving.  Far more so, than the insult he threw in, comparing you to a dog, suggesting it would be just as easy and sensible in his head to drown puppies.  He had to guess how far on you were, had to see medically it was unethical, let alone moral at this stage.  You put your hands over your stomach, drawing strength from reserves you didn’t think you had; to stand.  Aware as adrenaline pumped your system it could come down to fight, or flight, and you were unarmed, and vulnerable.  This time you watched Hux, watched as the man took hold of his fear.  Moulding it into pure anger, thick with the promise of violence, if he continued; as he spat out a low growl of a warning.

“You mean like Maratelle did I?  I swear father, if you touch her, I will prove to you that I am capable of patricide.”

Hux had yet to let go of his father’s arm, holding him in check as he glared over at him, the two men exchanging equally as chilly stares, from carbon copies of eyes.  Ren moved between you both, his gigantic back squared to you, not needing words to understand his Emperor’s wishes and commands.  Brendol Hux waited, then suddenly smirking he imparted one last taunt to the room.

“You haven’t the common sense I gifted you with, have you? Do you really think she’ll care about them more than your whore of a mother?  She’ll run off and dump you with another little bastard to care for, that’s if you’re lucky.”

He looked at you as he spoke the last words, jerking his arm from his son’s grip, storming from the room, without even looking back at his son.

The moment over, the borrowed reserves of steel and strength fled your body suddenly; making your legs give out under you.  Your head dizzy as you flopped over yourself, your head on the floor, gasping for air.  Had you held you held your breath, or had you just been breathing harder, either way everything seemed weird and dizzy, their voices far away.  One of them scooped you up, rocking you back against their chest.  Yelling something you couldn’t make out, whilst another appeared quickly with a glass; ordering you to drink. 

It tasted awful and most of it fell down your front; sugar mixed in with water, the glucose slowly raising your sugar levels back to normal.  Rolled out of the arms, Ren you realised, Hux had been the one to run for the sugared water.  The wouldn’t let you stand up, Ren removing his cloak to wrap around you, as over and over again you protested your innocence, begging for forgiveness.  Repeatedly telling Hux you didn’t know the maid had lied, that you thought you followed his instructions.  Keeping to yourself how stupid you had been, for believing he would ever be sorry.  


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse the slow update, and the slower reply to my emails. I've split with my partner of 7 years, so am slowly finding my feet, with regards to more personal stuff, and practical too.  
> I have every intentions of finishing this, and hope that despite everything I've had on my mind, this chapter is also up to par, and explains things a little more?  
> Again thank you for reading, and commenting; it has meant a lot to me xx

“Tidge; what’s going on? Is she okay?”

Arabella flew into the room, her concern only seeming to grow, the closer she got to you.  She moved to stand next to her brother; crouching down to take a closer look at you, frowning as she touched your forehead.  You were covered in a cold sweat, and it must have been unpleasant to touch you.  Instinctively you apologised; that such a fine lady should have to deal with you so dishevelled, so unpristine.  Stoic as her brother though; she showed no outward signs of distaste at your dishevelment.  Dismissing your concerns as silly, whilst she patted away at your forehead with a clean piece of cloth; a handkerchief or similar you decided. 

You were becoming more worried, the more alert you became, and their lack of understanding at your anxieties made it harder to accept their touches.  You focused mainly on Arabella; she at least showed you concern for you.  Trying to quell the panic at your situation, assuming it was obvious you were that worried, even through your tired, washed out brain.  She demanded, more so than suggested more than once; to get a doctor or midwife in here, and each subsequent request for a different medical personnel; ignored.  It was like water off a duck’s back to him, he had already put you through so much danger; what was one more trial for your body to face.  

“Armitage, show some bloody common sense!  She’s not well, you need to get a Physician in here, summon Peters.”

Hux finally gave an answer of a definite, but unelaborated; no.  Ren pointedly staying out of the sibling’s discourse.  Arabella shook her head, at his stupidity, glaring angrily at him, whilst she demanded to know if he was an idiot, couldn’t he see the risks he put you at.  It was like watching a spitting cat, she was indignant in her fury.  Anyone else you knew would have faced corporal punishment for talking to him like that, reaffirming the respect he must have for his sister.  Even Ren didn’t talk to Hux like this before you; but that you assumed more than once, was for your benefit and not his, they were still a partnership for all one appeared higher elevated.  Hux didn’t even look back at her, refusing to fully divide his attention between you both, instead setting more on you, trying to make you drink more of the sickly glucose solution.  His jaw set as he refused her further demands, Ren answering for him, promising to explain later.  Arabella sounded more worried than her brother or Ren, running hands over you to check, as she asked what was the matter, almost shouting at Hux for not doing as she said, this time drawing an answer from him. 

“No medics Arabella, I want to, but it isn’t safe.  We just need to get her to drink this.”

It was a small thing, but you knew he didn’t outwardly lie, Hux’s desire to get you medical help, must have been true.  Hux really thought your condition bad enough to warrant a medic then, odd then in your semi-lethargic state you didn’t feel that bad, just tired.  Numb as you were, you knew she wanted to argue more, but you were too weak to fully register the danger you were in.  More concerned with trying to push them all away, your movements uncoordinated and the irritability of the low blood sugar, making you more foolish, than brave; couldn’t they just let you sleep?  You spoke, this time managing to hear your own words, the slur in them making you sound drunk.  Your movements were becoming a little more co-ordinated; this time as you pushed away the glass, there was some strength there.  He kept bringing it back to your lips, easily managing to circumnavigate your poor attempts to stop it.

“ _Please, Pet.  Please drink it_.”

You weren’t sure what made you tit you head back, and accept the rest of the foul, sticky, water.  Downing the rest of the glass in one, to the annoyance of your taste buds and noisy complaints of your stomach.  Did you drink it because he gave an order; to which, you were programmed by fear to obey?  Or was it the shock of the humanity in his pleading with you, than made you drink it? 

The liquid gone, the three of them waited.  All of them watching as the colour slowly returned to your face, Arabella’s weaker demands for a doctor; still met with a flat-out refusal from Hux.  The one time she made a move to override him, a single look stopped her, making her return to the couch you were placed on.  She wasn’t happy but, she left it at that, meaning, she must trust that her brother an awful lot, to agree to help to put you at risk.  You knew exactly why Hux wouldn’t send for a doctor, and suspected that Arabella didn’t.  She was cross at her brother, and if it hadn’t of been for you looking better, she would have put up more of a fight.

“What happened to her Tidge?”

He shook his head, offering to tell her later, another thing he assumed you didn’t need to know.  You had to wonder that yourself, your isolated mind, doing its best to slot the pieces together.  The last thing you could remember, was the look of frozen disgust from his father; after Hux had un-wittedly presented you to him.  You knew that the threat from him, had been more for the contents of your belly, than you per say, but there was comfort to be had there.  You were expendable, to Hux in some way you too were to be protected, not just the content’s you carried.  That they would be kept safe from one evil at least, was of small comfort, but it was still soothing.  There was no hint of a real answer yet, which worried you; perhaps they didn’t know.  Panic threatened to swallow you whole at that point, kept only at bay by your anger.

Hux was directly to your front, knelt before you, ignoring Arabella to strip you out of the dress, tossing it to where the dead maid lay.  You would have squealed and made more of a protest, if you weren’t so used to being forcibly stripped even in company.  His hands moved nimbly over bared flesh, turning you from side to side to check everywhere, pushing aside the hands that covered your bared flesh.  Arabella looked noticeably uncomfortable, though she kept her opinions and her looks to herself, fixating her gaze on a nearby plant.  Clearly; she knew that your health necessitated you being checked so swiftly over, though she had the grace to look away from you.  At the same time, Ren pressed fingers to your head; and stiffly you tried to relax.  Knowing this would happen with or without your permission, and that if he forced you, you would pay for it twice

“It’s quicker, more precise this way.”

He’d never considered a need to justify his reasons for the constant mind probes before, to you.  He wasn’t explaining his reasoning’s to you, it was for Arabella’s benefit, so she wouldn’t think his invasion rude. Your mind like your body, was considered fair game to him; it wasn’t like telling him no, would have ever stopped him.  You were his property, regardless of Ren’s comment that you weren’t officially Hux’s slave, you may as well have been for how they claimed you, how little choice you had.

A look passed between them, and a spit moment of a pause in Hux’s stroking of your bare flesh, information being passed you realised.  Now they had confirmed it to you, the signs were even easier to recognise, each time they used their Force-bond to communicate with one another.  Brows furrowed Hux lifted your forearm to the light, making you remember the touch of the maid, how odd it had felt.  Had she done something to you, was that what Ren was telling him to look at?

Fingers touched a pale and barely formed bruise, so light it could have passed as shadow.  He snarled openly at it, making you gasp as his fingertips dug deeper into your skin.  He didn’t need to speak he was so blatantly furious at it, lessening his grip, he ran gloved fingers over the mark.  It was certainly something to do with the maid you realised; as both his and Ren kept their avid attention on the mark.  There was a small indent in the middle of the mark to your forearm, nestled in the pinprick bruise; the unmistakable mark of a needle entry point.  Not sure what had happened, you frowned, knowing to ask for information was pointless, all you needed to know was it had probably been an attempt on your life.  If they wanted you to know the details, they would speak of them.  But out of choice; they would tell you nothing, they were not prepared to share anything that gave you knowledge, knowledge was part-currency to power here.

“Poison, Pet.  Something to dangerously lower your sugar levels; without Ren, the results would have been fatal.”

He explained nothing you hadn’t guessed, but they had to look supportive for Arabella.  You didn’t need Hux to gloat over, how fortunate you had been to have Ren so close.  It was Ren’s command of his Force-abilities, that had enabled himself and Hux; to quickly work out what was happening.  Between themselves no doubt they had worked out, what was at least happening to your body, and swiftly took action, saving your babies from dying.  You shuddered at that thought, hating how dependant it made you, on your enemy. Without them, without Ren’s quick order to go and get the sugar from the tea set in the other room, the results could have proven fatal.  Placing a hand protectively on your belly, you looked horrified over at Ren, knowing he was the better person to ask.  Your mind racing through a series of worried questions, one’s you couldn’t make yourself speak aloud, too afraid of the answer, to actually voice them.  Ren’s eyes softened when they met yours, his face encouraging, as his lips softened in a gentle acknowledgement of your worry.  A small sigh, as his chin dipped in a slow, reassuring nod; as he voiced your much-needed answer.

“They’re both fine Pet; they barely noticed any commotion, though one shows more worry for you, than the other.”

Your body let out the tension held in frightened check for them; panting in relief; they were okay.  That they had moved swiftly to minimalize their distress was good, it showed promise.  That one worried for you, was odd, and left an unpleasant distaste of buried truths with you.  How was a baby possible of sensing anything at this early stage? At your working’s this pregnancy couldn’t be more advanced than three months pregnant, give or take a week; how much awareness could a developing brain have?  You weren’t about to answer his fishing, that they were okay; was all the answer you needed, Hux and Ren could deal with everything else. 

Ignoring everybody else, Hux kept hold of your arm, following the trace blue line of the vein up your forearm, and to the crook of your elbow.  Had the maid pricked you when she touched you, or was it a possibility that it been done another time?  You couldn’t quite work it out, but you knew it was most likely the former.  You looked across at the dead body, no longer as horrified by it as before, as a side of you, you didn’t know you had screamed that she deserved it.  Disgusted and horrified with yourself, you quickly pulled back on that thought, remonstrating with yourself for thinking something so heinous.  You would not allow yourself to become a cruel and vile monster, like your captors, you would not become so blind sighted.  Another person had suffered for Hux’s choice to use you in such a bizarre way.  Whilst you were happy that the threat to your twins had been neutralised; to feel any relief or pleasure from it being done so violently; was morally wrong.  Sensing you looking at the women, Hux drew you up from the chair, Ren removing his cloak to wrap it around you.  Both leading you on still shaky legs, back to their garden.  The Arabella followed, the dead maid on the floor, attracted no further attention of her own from any of them, just their desire to remove you from it.  Were people like that just below their notice, or was Ren skewering people, was a common place to all present.

They sat you to warm in the late evening sun, Arabella quietly returning with another of the Emperor’s tunics, Hux taking it off her, to help you into.  Another servant arrived, this one you assumed legitimate, since Hux lead you to a nearby table, and the small meal set out on it for you.  Ren was already seated, and you watched him lift a forkful from the plate, as Hux requested his sister follow him.  The first mouthful he ate himself, then scooped up another bite onto the utensil, holding it out to you, as Hux took Arabella across the garden.  You could see them talking, and it didn’t take an idiot, to work out they were probably discussing you, Arabella occasionally looking openly back at you.  A cough and you looked back at the expectant Ren, still holding the spoon, brow raised waiting; you wanted to refuse him, and insist he hand over the fork, but you knew better.  You knew Hux wouldn’t allow you to act up in front of his sister, and that would mean severe repercussions for you.  The grumbling in your stomach did more to quell your pride, than that fear though.  There was more than you to consider now when you acted up, your actions effected others’ now and those others would have to come first.  You could almost imagine Hux’s voice in your head, demanding for the sake of his children, you ate, never mind that you needed food too. 

It was so degrading to be treated like this, but pointless to argue against it.  So, opening your mouth; you allowed Ren to place the food in your mouth, closing your lips around the fork.  He waited for you to chew and swallow, before scooping more food into your mouth.  This hungry, any food was good, but this was a little more flavoursome than you had been previously allowed.

“Your stomach can handle more now Pet.”

 You nodded, accepting his words, and the next forkful more willingly.  Thankful that this signalled that you would be allowed more than the, flavourless mush you had been fed.  Last night had been nerves and not baby related sickness, your stomach had been calmer the last few days.  Did this mean you were starting to settle more now then? You allowed yourself to enjoy the food he fed you, reasoning that your babies needed the nutrients, and their needs came first now. 

Gradually both your energy and strength came back to you, and it almost felt as though nothing had ever been wrong with you.  Strange then you thought, now time allowed you to think about it, just how scary it had really been, how close you had been to dying.  How close the assassin had come to terminating your babies, fragile insubstantial lives.

As suddenly as the deep breath you took, you began to shake; the situation finally dropping into place.  The entire attack had been for you, not so much for your babies, they were probably too big now to assassinate without harming you, and there was the obvious fact, that Hux would repeat the process.  It was all too much for you, to think that the subsequent pregnancies he would force on you, could cause so much upheaval to you.  You had rightly expected that here inside the Emperor’s quarters you would be safest of all, now as your thoughts slipped back to your girls, you were terrified.  Not only was the attack proof they couldn’t keep you safe, but Hux’s anger had impacted on it.  This wasn’t fair, or right to any of you; this was a time in your life that the one person you could count on, was supposed to be the babies father.  Instead he was a bullying maniac, who at first seemed to lack the bravery, to stand up to his father.  What was the man’s hold on him?  Even you had to admit Hux had risen far above the approval of one man.  Was that the main reason for his explosive outburst earlier, around you?  Had you accidently walked into the one man, he didn’t want to have to admit to where his heirs had come from, that he allowed you to carry them?  You knew Brendol had no issue with Hux using you for sex, that was like using a toy to achieve Hux’s pleasure to him, you were worth nothing more than property to him.  Another thought hit you, was Hux still cross then, that you had pushed him into threatening his father, was this all an act to avoid upsetting his sister?  Your fingers slipped under your borrowed tunic, pressing to the bare skin of your stomach, cupping the bump they had created there, as though to hold them tighter.  They were so small, and innocent; they didn’t deserve to be caught up in any of this.  They hadn’t asked to be created, the monster opposite you had forced them on you.  You regretted their circumstances, but gradually you were accepting that you were growing attached to them.  In a roundabout way; Ren had forced you to care if you now lived or died.  It was all so unfair, so wrong, but finally you had purpose, and soon they could strip that from you.

You hadn’t realised you were crying again, until a hand pinched your chin, pulling your face towards Hux.  Gritting your teeth, you tried to hold off against the more violent trembling it triggered, assuming he was here to in some way grant you a view of his displeasure.  You kept your eyes lowered until he tersely told to look at him, as much from a reluctance to display your fear, as a programmed response.  He had to give the order to look at him twice, before you could do it, steeling your face to blanc emotion, refusing to give away your anxiety, it would give him another weapon to use against him. 

The look in his eyes was as puzzling as the one last night, and a world away from the look he had given you in his office.  The shock of finding it there, made you forget your resolve to show no fear, your body returning to its previous state of turmoil, confused as to how to safely proceed.  He shushed you, and then in an odd show of unwanted comfort, he jerked you up from the chair, pulling you all too tight to his chest.  You froze, this open gesture of affection was so new, it left you feeling awkward, on hand still on the bump, the other pressed to his chest, to steady yourself.  It was hard, but you allowed yourself to cling to him, sobbing not at the risk to you now, but to your pregnancies.  Allowing yourself a moments weakness, to add in a choked whisper, that your babies could have died.  Granted the assassination attempt had been on you, meaning if it had of been successful; you wouldn’t have known.  But it hadn’t and you did now; and it was heartbreakingly horrifying.  It was impossible to lose the violent trembles wracking your body, never had you felt more useless as you did now.  They needed your strength, and you could offer them none.  How could you protect them, when you couldn’t even protect yourself from Ren and Hux’s treatment of you.  You hated to do this, but in order to stay safe they needed their fathers.

“Hush, you’re safe now, little-pet, don’t cry.”

For the first-time ever; he spoke so gently, kindly to you as he attempted to sooth you to calmness.  It had to be for his sister’s benefit, you couldn’t remember that he had ever spoken to you, as though you were anything less than his property, his whore.  There was comfort there though, that your babies meant so much to him, that he would keep you safe, to protect them.  The edge of hard iron sewn firmly into his words, making it impossible to doubt his own conviction at them.  But his opinion was not fact, were you safe now? Could you honestly believe that no further harm would befall you; when death had come looking for you, so closely?

He stroked in mock tenderness at your cheek, drawing you closer.  The swell of your belly firm, but not hard to his, your babies nestled between you both.  Somewhere behind you, there was the sound of Arabella excusing herself.  Leaving you alone to what looked like an intimate moment between lovers, a moment which carried on far longer than farce necessitated it to.  Hux refused to let you go even at the moment you were finally alone with him and you tried to escape his grip, he kept you close too him.  Your muscles tightened ready for him to revert back to anger, to draw punishment from you, for disturbing him.  Around you the wind stirred your hair, his scent washing over you.  It smelt different than before, he must have changed his cologne, you realised, as he kept you enveloped in his arms.  He still smelt of something expensive, but the sweeter notes to it were gone, this scent didn’t leave you queasy.  He moved a stray piece of hair, behind one ear, the other hand clutching at your waist, fingers splaying over your lower back.  He kissed your cheek, another attempt at this false intimacy, before murmuring a low order, to follow him.

You did, the ivory tunic you wore, long enough to cover your bottom, but shorter than Ren’s, the material more showing of your condition; as it clung to your hips as you walked.  Barefooted you padded after him, the pace kept slow almost as though you walked to his side, and not his back.  He led you back through his bedroom, and into the smaller corridor outside.  Ignoring the entrance Ren had carried you through, turning the opposite way.  A small array of other doors to choose from, at the other side.  He hovered outside one, his hand slow as it reached for the knob, almost reluctant in it’s turning.  He pushed it open, a pair of cots placed before another window, their meaning obvious.  Hux hadn’t lied when he had said he knew they were twins.  The décor though was neutral, beiges and creams, both cots identical, did he then not know the sex of the babies until now?  He gestured to you to follow, into the bright, airy room.

It was a pleasant room, and one he had certainly decorated sympathetically to its intended use.  Draws stood either side of the cots, a series of small wardrobes to the back wall.  He intended the babies to grow with the room’s intent.  It was almost perfect, with one omission; there was no space planned for you in here. It winded you more than it should have, you had spent weeks knowing this was to be the outcome.  But still with that final realisation, came fresh heartbreak; he intended to keep you separate.

“You don’t like it?”

You looked back at the Emperor, annoyed more at your own stupidity, than his callousness.  How had you managed to form so tight a bond, to something so insubstantial as the flittering life forms inside of you, this quickly.  It had to of been the hormones, or some force trick of Ren’s, this pain now; was as much your own fault, for allowing yourself to bond to them. 

Yet again they had acquired something else, that Hux could rip from you, or at best use to keep you in order.  Holding yourself in check, you took a moment to finger the lace on one intricate bedcover, taking time to prepare your body for the lie you had to speak.  This was all Ren’s for showing you them so intimately last night, without that you would have felt nothing.  Thus far, you had managed to keep any love you might have felt for them at arms-length, not allowing the bond between mother and child to form.  Now you were made to be bound to something, that would ultimately cause you agonizing heartbreak.  There was so much you longed to say, so much hurt you longed to show him you were suffering; but to voice it would have been not only pointless, but also stupid.  So far, he seemed to have forgotten his earlier aggressive outburst, and you had no wish to remind him of your misstep, of how badly you had messed up.  That Ren had stepped in to protect you, to protest your innocence was something of a first.  But you knew it had also been a one off, he wouldn’t rush again.  Ultimately in all of this; if you protected yourself, you also protected them.  If nothing else you could be a good and obedient mother now, for however short a time they left you with them. 

He had to know that you were stalling, and looking sideways at Hux, you expected to see him becoming irritated at you dallying.  Instead when you shot him a sideways glance, you found instead that he was watching you with something akin, to open amusement.  Following each, movement you made, each draw, and cupboard he watched you open, drawing no hint of impatience from him.  Gender neutral colours you noted; folding back up a tiny sleepsuit, your brow furrowing in an honest frown of confusion.  Hux easily discerning your unspoken thoughts, the question he had refused to answer before.

“They are naturally shielded by you, Ren could discern for me, two life signatures, nothing more.  Had Ren have forced a connection to them, it would have put lives at risk; at least one of them is Force-sensitive, and very protective of her mother.”

Hux was admitting he had no knowledge of their sex you realised, he was in his own way granting a small victory over him.  Almost instinctively you rubbed at your belly, his eyes darkening as he followed the movement of your hand.  This also pleased him you realised, confusing you all the more.  What was it to him if you touched them, did he feel some jealousy that they already had a bond with you.  His comment to you left so many more questions to ask, the main one being; just how far along were you?  You had assumed a child would have no self-awareness at this stage, or at best very little.  Was it therefore Ren, who had in fact the awareness of them.  Hux’s gaze had yet to leave you, if anything else growing in intensity, his lips parting, colour burning the tips of his cheeks.  Feigning innocence, and an interest in the garden you turned around, unable to escape to more room, but you could at least avoid having to look at him.  He tactless as always, ignored your discomfort, wrapping an arm around your waist, making you stiffen when his hand cupped the mound of your belly.  You shivered, not altogether unpleasantly, when he scented the back of your head, ignoring the tingles it set off in your sex.  Your stomach churning at the possibility that he would try again for what you had somehow managed to stall last night, knowing your body would struggle to hold out.

“Pet, will this room do as a nursery?”        

He spoke his question against your ear, and you could hear the hesitation at his question. He was asking for your opinion you guessed, not for yourself, but your babies.  If one was fonder of her mother than the other, he needed to know, that they would settle okay in this room.  The unease was genuine, they weren’t his you realised with a heady rush of elation.  Somehow as small and unaware as they were, they had made themselves yours, not his.  This could somehow make them harder to pry from you when the time came.  Could it then be used to stop him from taking them entirely from you?  Taking a deep breath, you gave a not even a demi-lie, nodding your head the best answer you could manage, without drawing suspicion; the room would have to do for now.  There was no Ren about to sense your hesitation, and you lied as well as Hux had taught you; speaking only truths.  Drawing carefully from the elements of honesty they offered you. There was no Ren, to try and rape your mind for hidden meanings, and even if there was, you still endeavoured to keep your thoughts as correct as possible.  Hux was very adept at spotting a lie, and so you offered him only a truth; twisting it about your needs.  For a child’s nursery, it was perfect.  Physically they had thought of everything; your children would want for nothing, nothing except possibly their mother, and the love of a decent father.  If you had thought he learnt some measure of remorse from your taunt at his attempted rape last night, you were wrong.  His hands nimbly turning your back to the window, cupping your face in some macabre parody of gentle intimacy, pulling your mouth up to his.  His kiss was smooth, sewn with every lesson he had already heaped onto your broken body, drawing the evidence of his passions, tight to him.  The kiss was long, and filled with promise that he would go further, and you had almost accepted that when he pulled away.  The removal of him from your body, leaving your pussy grumbling at the unfairness of his removal from you, whilst your brain screamed at you to start being reasonable.  This wasn’t somebody you were allowed to find comfort in, and it was dangerous to seek it from him.  He had reached the door, stopping to impart one last drop of conversation, for your consideration, a throw away comment, that was doubtless meant to taunt you.   

“You suit white; and yet it is a colour I never would have considered, putting you into Pet.”   

There was a plenitude of hidden meanings in that comment, but you refused to dwell on them.  Ignoring every taunt that you were reduced to wearing his clothes, how everything was dependant on him.  You pressed your thoughts back to that which he wanted to take from you; snarling a protective mine, within the closeted corners of your mind, they would have every ounce of your love, and every tiny bit of protection you could wrought for them.  To them lay your loyalties, nobody else, not the downed Resistance, not the First Order, and certainly not the Emperor.  You had information that you knew could help any remaining small cells, to hurt the Emperor, but you wouldn’t put that which needed you more at risk.  You would protect them to your dying breath, and doubtless Hux would accept it with thanks.       


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for any words of encouragement, I'm fine emotionally, just moving is exhausting.

The punishment you expected from Hux; for alerting his father to you, never came, or the threats he had made to remind you of your place in his court.  There were no fresh threats from Brendol Hux, the following weeks were cautiously calm filled.  There was no sudden moves just yet to place you in fresh room, so far, your bedchambers had proven, one of the more safer rooms to place you in.  Whatever attempts may have been made against you in those rooms, the rapidly increasing swell of your belly, proved them futile.  That wasn’t to say you were left there, indefinitely. The entire time, you had been forced to endure daily, the company both your captors.  Daily you were escorted from your rooms by Ren; to Hux’s side; your every movement still trailed by the usual black forms of Hux’s death troopers.  You were to remain close to him it seemed everywhere around the palace, accompanying him to private and public functions. 

There was no chain attaching you to his throne, instead he left you a pile of cushions there to nestle into.  Ren’s attention never leaving you alone for a minute, Hux barely even looking as they attended to various matters of state.  Hux seemingly paid you little enough attention, that you could doze off at times during the lengthy afternoons, the pillows beneath you warm and soft, a small bit of comfort for you in the otherwise hard and cold spot.  Light refreshments were brought intermittently, Ren stooping to insist you tried something from every tray.  Encouraging you to eat more than your stomach really wanted, making sure to leave some of the more palatable items close to you; in an attempt to get you to take more.  To drink Hux mainly insisted on teas, many of them the varieties Ren had supplied for you aboard the star-cruiser, served cold when the weather became more heated.  All three of you eating, and drinking the same thing, to avoid arousing suspicion. 

At evenings when he entertained, he kept you closer still, this time allowing his full attentions to fall on you, keeping you up much later than your exhausted body could handle.  More than once Ren had to wait until the guests left, or offer you his arm until he could safely scoop you up and carry your protesting body back to your bedchamber.  Dismissing the maids to simply loosen your gowns, and tuck you into bed.  It was all too much on your rapidly changing body, and as more time passed, you begged him to use another to accompany him to the evening events.  Already he had ceased to touch you more intimately than to occasionally kiss you.  It must have been so obvious for anyone who truly looked, to see that you were pregnant, couldn’t he just drop the protective farce now and be done with all the lies.  Or at best you begged him, couldn’t he draw from his other supply of women for these events, or failing that; just take Ren alone, for his nightly companion?    

He refused, instead moving the events closer to his own apartments, using the more lavish indoor rooms there, to present his evenings affairs.  Pulling you closer to him with every attempt you made to escape him, making plans to give you rooms within his own chambers.  That had been a blessing, a tiny hint of hope, that when the time came you would be closer to your babies.  Moving in though, had still sadly come with the previous regiment of handmaidens.  Astrid taking the movement as a personal promotion, doing nothing to dispel the icy demeanour she reserved for you.  Though you noticed a more professional front when the Emperor gave brief visits to check on the progress of your relocation.  The move also came with more allowances for you some freedoms; within the confines of the Emperor’s apartments, you were given permission to move freely about, and given a much larger selection of rooms to yourself. 

Hux allowed you to treat more of his chambers as your own too, though ultimately it was the garden that drew your attention.  He had made sure to place you in a room with direct access to it.  Your belly providing enough of a hindrance, that you couldn’t safely try and escape, and knowing as much as you did, that you would not put your babies at risk, to escape him.  The lives he had inserted inside of you, held you safer to this world, than any chains or precautious safety measures could have.

After so long without access to the outside world, being allowed fresh air was almost intoxicating in its self alone; the freedom to sit under the wide-open sky breath taking.  You spent hours there, sometimes watched from a distant corner by Ren; as Hux worked in his office, others entirely alone.  Rather than isolated; it was a good kind of solitude, not the oppressive company you had forced on you before, and not at all lonely.  It proved easy to talk to your babies, when you were alone, thought what you spoke of was nonsense, more to make them aware of your voice, than anything else.  Your life lacked any exciting day to day rush of activity, the most excitement; when Arabella visited her brother, and insisted on seeing you too.

The oddness in her genuine warmth, soon settled into an understanding.  She instinctively knew to be gentle around you, and when she could Arabella would gift you with small advices.  Presented subtly as stories from her own pregnancy, and bring little items that would help you settle. 

The first gift was food; some small biscuits she had seen you enjoying after an earlier dinner party.  Hux had not been pleased that she left you with them, but he could hardly refuse you any gifts from his own sister, without seeming rude.  Instead it seemed to suggest to him, that in some way he had been lacking in his attentions to you.  Afterwards he watched each meal carefully, and although you were never allowed a choice, some meals would be more repetitive than others, some would never turn up again.  It gave you an insight into the man; leaving you the inklings of suspicions that your wellness mattered to him, fear making you quickly dismiss that thought.   

On one evening; the night time mists descended earlier.  Hux forcing you inside, and into their shared lounge.  You curled up onto one couch, yawning as you stared into the flames of the fire he had lit for you. 

It was warm, and cosy, though you knew the inability to control your temperature had more to do with your pregnancy than, the outside weather.  You had spent the day a little too hot, and then stayed out in the low-lying clouds, much longer than was entirely sensible for you.  Hux had found you close to shivering, and hair damp with the cooling mists.  He had understandably not been happy with you; snapping that you didn’t have the sense you were born with as he pushed you under a nerf-wool blanket on his couch.  The fire was lit; more to keep you in place than for the warmth, a small concession to you that puzzled you, before he returned to his dressing room. 

He was getting himself ready to attend a small banquet, one that he muttered bitterly he couldn’t very well take you to now, shivering and cold; and now in desperate need of a bath.  He conceded that you had to say, and that would mean Ren too; giving an order that his skills were better spent guarding you, than accompanying him, and that he could easily summon an escort from elsewhere.  For all his practicality, Hux was blatantly cross at having to divide himself from Ren, and his moodiness continued as he helped himself to a second glass of corellian brandy resting as he waited for his escort to arrive. 

You wished that in this mood, he would leave, huddling under the blanket, and trying restlessly to sit comfortable.  It was near on impossible on the leather couch, and the added weight and shape of the twins, made it even more awkward.  It was virtually impossible to remain comfortable, and this was just the early days, what would happen in the other months to come.  You huffed, pulling a cushion to your back, laying down sideways to support your bump more.  You knew he was watching you, but you ignored him.  Knowing full well he was itching for you to give him an opportunity to reprimand you, and that if you spoke, or even looked at him, you would give him an opening. So you closed your eyes hoping, that by now you were better at this game.  A knock sounded at a door; saving you from having to find out.  An extremely tense sounding Hux, commanding you, to go find something to amuse yourself with.  Snapping that he had already given you leave to used his library, couldn’t you find a book or something to do. 

Accepting that he wasn’t going to get any better, you pushed off the blanket, smoothing down the front of your gown.  You bid him some polite and correct thanks for his suggestion; as you stood, walking stiffly to the room off his office he used as a library.  You got as far as the door to the corridor before, Ren appeared dropping the blanket onto your shoulders, and ushering you quicker into the passageway beyond. 

He stayed with you, something that should have set you on edge, as you picked your book; amazed that Hux would allow you to touch the paper copies.  Paper bound books were still an expensive luxury even the Emperor kept to a minimum, and that he allowed you to touch them showed perhaps a hint of trust at you.  It was dark in here, and chilly as the last of the daylight fled the sky.  The fire you knew had been lit for you, and so you choose not to stay here and read.  Instead making your return to the living room Hux had ushered you into.  Normally you were careful to only enter rooms, they left doors open for; too frightened to push for your own freedom.  But this was a room you had been in countless times before, and the order had never come for you to do that, it was a self-imposed boundary. 

Thinking it was safe to re-enter the room you had been in, you pushed open the polished door.  Assuming somewhere in the recesses of your mind, that the man at your back wouldn’t have stopped you going anywhere you shouldn’t be.  Therefore, the shock at what greeted you, made you stop in your tracts; startled like a deer in a headlight.  The threat he had made over a month ago, sprung to mind; to show you what happened to people who forgot their place.  You had never been their equal, no you had been far less; how much lower had you now sunk.  You wanted to bolt at the sight of Hux’s latest deprived little game; the well-dressed woman sat at his arm, meant entirely as a taunt to you. 

She was no slave like you were, this woman had chosen her loyalties, and they had in the end paid off for her.  Her body the willing currency for her position, at his arm.  Your gut churned, as much as your pulse raced, as she looked over at you.  Hux not even having the grace to look away from the exchange.  Oh, you had assumed he had concubines, and whilst you had begged him often to use them not you; the crass evidence was too much.  There was a stab of acrimonious jealousy to your heart, as you stared at the woman lounged against Hux.  There was no collar, not even a necklace to mark his ownership of her; but from the way she stood, you knew somewhere she had been intimate with him.  She moved closer in unmistakeable possessiveness in her stance; her hand on his arm, as she poised perfectly next to him; as though in challenge to you.

She was stunningly beautiful, her body still shapely; not the fat dumpy lump, you were slowly becoming, her face accentuated with the layers of cosmetics you had been advised to forego.  Making you shrink back in defeat, protesting to yourself, that she was welcome to him; you didn’t want him.  Nothing was crude about her, or her outfit, and he talked to her as equals, whilst he commanded you move, a finger pointing you to the chair nearest the fire; the one furthest away from you.  Your skirts trailed behind you, the cut of your dress was still of the style he favoured to hide your belly, though you knew this was soon something that would have to go.  Already you knew your gait was more of a waddle, the movement pushing your skirts at times tighter to your belly. 

It was more callousness you didn’t deserve. Your throat too thick, you swallowed, paling at the triumphant smirk she shot you, as she lowered her glass from her lips.   Was she and others like her, the real reason why you were sent to sleep alone, why in the weeks that followed; since you had called Hux out for his treatment of you, neither man had touched you.  She watched you move, all the time calculating her odds, what she had to be threatened by. 

“So; you’re the little mouse, his highness keeps separate from the rest of us.”

There was something of a threat, in the patronizing greeting, and instinctively your hands touched your belly.  A protective gesture that had not gone unmissed by her, the woman now taking away with her the news that you were carrying.  She was a threat you realised, almost baring your teeth in a snarl of warning at her.  Hux had fetched a viper into your babies’ sanctuary; a jewelled and pretty one; but still a threat to your babies; this you would not stand for.  She could threaten you all she wished, but not that which you had sworn to protect.  Behind you there was the sound of stiffening leather.  Ren standing to attention at your back; in answer at the threat before you.  Making you wonder what the men were playing at, why she was here, if Ren would so openly back you up.    

You hoped that his promises to keep you safe had been genuine, that there was no way Hux would have been stupid enough to bring her here if she was a genuine threat to you.  But that didn’t do anything to calm you.  Yes; he could be using her as a lesson for you, a test of sort, but to what, and how did you safely answer it? 

Did he wish to make one of you jealous of the other?  Her of your proximity to him, you of her supposed ongoing intimacy with him, no that was all beyond stupid.  You didn’t want him you argued, and she wasn’t to know above murmured rumours, of your location.  If it weren’t for his refusal to let others know you would have assumed, it was then a way of showing his other pets that you were pregnant with his child.      

You sat down in the chair, the woman opposite you sipping at the brandy glass Hux had gifted her with, her eyes narrowing as they were drawn to your stomach, making you drop your hand quickly.  Something passed over her face, her features back to a relaxed pleasantness, as she downed her drink, before requesting another drink.

“Is she unwell, your highness, or just mute?” 

She knew, she didn’t need him to explain to him why you didn’t speak, surely if whispers had reached her of you, then had also accounted for his use of you.  She would have a first-hand knowledge of his appetites, she would know what you feared, by stepping out of place.  Hux didn’t correct her for talking, or offer you any protection, willingly moving to top her glass up for her, rather than give her permission to approach the decanter nearby you. 

There was relief to be had that he didn’t make you serve her, but the speed he moved to ensure she was comfortable was disconcerting.  Leaving you with another stab of envy, as he placed the glass into her hand, he obviously treated her as human, he allowed her to ask, to actually speak her requests.    

You had no wish to acknowledge either of them; lifting the book higher than was strictly needed, more to shelter the obvious hurt in your eyes from Hux, than to read the printed text.  It hurt more than you could have possibly imagined, to have her dangled before you.  The evidence of so many freedoms you were denied, rubbed in your face.  Did she move freely around the palace, or did she agree to wait in her rooms for him, welcoming his touch when it was offered him.

A shifting of material, and Hux stood; bidding his hound goodbye.  He moved to offer you his farewells, stopping as your jaw set in anger, his own head tilting as though to assess you, before he made up his mind to leave you alone.  He was nothing but polite, as he kissed hand of his escort, pulling it over his arm as he left his lover, alone with his pregnant and now furious, whore. 

Ren had the decency to wait until the door closed, before approaching you, pulling the book from your hands and tossing it onto the table.  You didn’t want to do this, but doubtless he already knew the anger that bubbled inside of you, this was to allow you an outlet for it then.

“Was she fetched here for my benefit, or for his?  Did you two think it would goad me back into accommodating you two willingly, if you showed me another of your whores!?”

You almost shook with anger, and in your agitation, you didn’t quite know what to do with yourself.  Had Hux deliberately riled you up, and left you with Ren.  Or did he just want to taunt you, to pay you back for accusing him of rape that night? 

It had seemed so important to behave properly around her, to not display any hint of jealousy.  Now you wished you’d have just let it fly at the Emperor, not bothered how much it betrayed your protests of disinterests at his touch.  Across from you Ren gave a slow blink, his face pulling to nauseatingly, amused smirk.  He was pleased to see you animated like this, envious of her; it entertained him, it gave him a fresh hold over you.  You were choked up on your painfilled anger, too hurt now you had let it go, to reign back your temper.

“I don’t know what sort of sick game you two want to involve me in this time.  But please just cut it out, and ensure it leaves them out of it too.”

Your voice descended into a tear-filled tremble, at the mention of your twins, the admission that this could end in them getting hurt.  You stood to move, remembering quickly there was nowhere to go, and sitting back down in the chair, trying to work out what to do with the abundance of unsteady energy.  You felt nauseous, though this time thankfully through your emotions, and not the actual need to be sick this time. 

Before you Ren waited.  Patiently folding his arms as he looked down on you, infuriatingly calm despite the range of emotions writhing inside you.  You wanted to punch him, and at the same time just to run away, and above all you wanted to demand he never brought that women into your babies’ presence again.  Instead you found yourself, tightly asking for permission to return to your room, stating that you felt unwell.  He knew that you were lying, it would be too easy for him to sense the changes in your body, let alone gleaning the thought from your head.  You expected another taunt, instead he paused nodding his head as he agreed, telling you it was probably for the best. 

That sent another jolt of defensiveness to you, as your brain quickly supplied more suspicions.  If Ren thought you best leaving, it was probably to avoid you causing a scene, when his lover returned.  Which in turn, meant he wouldn’t be alone; she would be spending the night here in their quarters, near to your chambers, right next to your babies’ nursery. 

You stood, brave in your anger, as you lifted the book from the side table, you held onto it defiantly.  If you were being placed somewhere else for that whore, you would take the precious book with you.  The story wasn’t great, but it was better than the silent handmaidens, and worth more than the ones he had loaded into the data pad.  Ren had outwardly chuckled at that, grinning at you, as though he found your paddy cute, and amusing; rather than the indignation you were trying to show.    

The walk back to your relocated bedchamber was quick, and the handmaidens seemingly quicker to remove your clothing. They bathed you, taking care to massage more oil over your hips and belly; paying attention to the brown line, that ran the length of your bump.  They styled back your hair for sleeping, before returning you to the waiting Ren.  Your nightdress as extravagantly loose and flowing as your earlier gown, but of far more diaphanous fabric.  They slipped from the room, to leave you alone with the knight, obviously assuming he was waiting to make use of your body. Leaving you confused as to why he hadn’t just left you to them, worried he was going to now do to you, what you had at least convinced Hux was distasteful. 

Ren lifted a corner of the bed covers for you, and shaking with indignity you climbed in.  Silently he stripped to his under layers, placing each layer of armour over a nearby chair.  He slid in behind you and you tensed, knowing it was pointless to deny him this.  That you had no way of stopping him even if he decided to take you.  You wanted to pull the pillows supportively around you as the pregnancy guides had told you to, but it would leave you vulnerable to any sudden movements.  Instead you chose to lay on your side, stiffening as the mattress dipped behind you as he moved closer.  Chuckling to himself into the darkened room, when you moved over, laying uncomfortably right at the side of the bed. 

It wasn’t particularly early, but with the added passenger in your bed, you still struggled to find sleep.  You lay there blinking into the darkness; listening to the regulated sound of Ren’s breathing, trying to find comfort that your babies’ protector lay between you and whatever threat the woman could present to you.  Even tired as you constantly where, it was far less comfortable that you needed to be to fall asleep in this precarious position, and without support at the side of the bed. 

Behind you, either Ren was now asleep, or silently meditating.  Either way you loathed his calmness, as much as you currently did Hux’s cruelty; unable to settle for a mixture of hurt at their feelings towards you.    

The time seemed to drag on, the man at your back, not reacting to your pity filled sighs, making you want to smack him to wakefulness.  He was so close, you could feel the heat his body generated; even through his clothes.  A part of you wanted him to pin you down, to force you to take him, just to obliterate the loneliness Hux had retriggered with the concubine.  It had been so long since you had been touched, and your hormone fuelled body, wanted so much for you to do something to ease the ache that was caused by the constant extra surge of blood to both your breast and sex.  If the idea hadn’t of been suggested all those months ago by him, as a taunt; you would have sought relief at your own hands.  You hadn’t been a stranger to touching yourself before them, but now watched constantly as you were, you knew they would find a way to make it about them, a way to bring you back into their folds.  You turned over to demand more room; somewhere along the way your hand deciding for you that you would give into the temptation and smack his face.  Your open palm almost connecting to his pale cheek, stopped at the last moment by an iron clad grip at your wrist. 

In the semi-darkened moonlight, the window cast, you could almost see the raise of his brow in warning, as his breathing changed to full alert.  You were not going to be stopped now, your other hand swinging in readiness, to his obnoxious taunt, the anger suffusing your very bones.  He gripped that as easily, to turn aside your attack.  Effortlessly over powering you into a position of submission, gripping both hands behind your back, as you were forced onto your knees. 

“Frustrated are we little one?”

Tuned to your body’s needs as he was, he would practically be able to taste your arousal in the air, if he hadn’t already smelt the day to day slick, that practically marked your panties at times.  Lifting to an almost mirrored position of your own, he towered masterfully over you.  The swell of the band of muscles as he breathed in, almost rubbing at your breasts.  One hand gripped your chin, tilting your mouth to him, as he pulled your back into an almost uncomfortable arch. 

The change in position tilted your swollen breasts forwards, the nipples already irritated to fullness, by the rubbing of your nightdress.  Below that sat your belly, the one hope your ashamed mind supplied you with, would save you from physical chastisement.  You would deserve it, if he chose to apply such methods to you; that move to violence had put more than you at risk.  It was a selfish move, bourn of a passion you still denied yourself.  The hand moved lower, between your breasts and over the swell of your belly, pressing flat to it.  The fingers splayed over the mound of babies inside of your, the sheer size of his limb, nearly covering what was now not exactly a small bump.  He hummed as he touched there, making you quickly realise, that he attempted to sooth them and not to touch you, the gesture oddly reassuring to your maternal instincts.  For that alone, your body relaxed to his grip, as he smoothly pulled you tighter to him.  Your nipples hard and painfully tender, as they rubbed his firm chest, his mouth close enough now, that his breath washed over your face as he spoke.

“You’re jealous of her, yet there is no need.  She will never be allowed to take your place, even now if you requested, I could summon him, and he would gladly leave her side for the mother of his children.”

You shook your head at his offer, ignoring the dull thud that pulsated in your clit, not really understanding what he was telling you.  You longed to be touched, as much as you did a sexual release. The last month, with no real contact, had kept you on edge for too long; with an increased desire, that seemed to increase with your pregnancy.  No, she would never take your place, but you could never earn your freedom either.  Ignoring the tears that gathered ready to fall you waited, a part of you wishing he would just force you, remove the shame of you needing them to find release.  He waited, his lips so close to yours that, it would take the tiniest of movements to press against. 

You had already made up your mind to try before Ren spoke, another offer to get Hux, the temptation too much to bare.  Whining in a low moan, you pressed your mouth tentatively to Ren’s, his plush lips slowly parting to accept both the kiss and your tongue.  His cock slowly filling with blood at your tentative advances.  Unwittingly he had allowed you another level to your desire, one you could accept.  If you gave into Ren’s growing desire now; and he accepted without Hux, it would be a metaphorical slap to the Emperor.  Sighing into his mouth you pressed harder, deepening the contact, as your sex practically wept at the first touch of his fingers.  You would allow yourself Ren to pleasure you, you would take what your body needed from your enemy.  All the while, accepting Ren now, as much as you were refusing Hux; this a small show of controlled revenge at your situation.  Suddenly his hand left your wrists, wrapping into your hair to hold you painfully in place, his top lip pulled back into a snarl, as he growled out a warning.

“Never presume to take me for a fool Pet, and never again try to involve me in your treacherous games.  I serve my Emperor first, your cunt not even a close second.”

He tossed you not gently onto the mattress, this time moving to pull the pillows around you to a supportive position, placing one between your legs; the movements non-aggressive, but firm.  You knew better than to protest your innocence, or to feign confusion.  He knew what you had been up to, and would now deny you any part of his body, wrapping the cover over and between you both, as though to shield himself from you. 

He didn’t leave you as you expected, instead turning his back to your weeping.  His presence beside you, tonight that of a protector for your unborn children, making you pettily wonder again if the woman was safe to have around them.  Either way she would be laid in Hux’s bed, her legs spread open to accommodate his cock.  Something you argued again, and again you didn’t want, as you tormented yourself with images of his imagined tenderness towards her, his respect to her.  You were so lonely, and so afraid of everything, there was so much that could hurt you, so much that already did.  Besides you Ren finally turned over, a hand to your spine, as he quietly asked if you wanted to see your babies again.  You shook your head, worried you were too much of a mess, too emotionally wrought to safely commune with them, they needed their mama to be strong, not this snivelling, cowardly wreak.  More than anything you wanted to be left alone to your misery, to drown in it, something which despite his harshness to you, he would not allow you do. 

He gave a sigh, drawing himself up the length of your spine, he pulled your hand to the bump, splaying your fingers over your taught skin.  The other he tucked under his head, his breath steady on the crown of your head, as he waited out your tears, pulling you closer when you tried to pull morosely away.  He didn’t offer to show you again, and for that you were thankful, it felt awful to refuse to see them.  His tenderness with you now though, was worlds away from the harshly spoken taunts, his fingers soothing as they stroked your arm.

“You fear too much little Pet; your Emperor will not allow harm to befall that which he holds dear.  In that he is entirely truthful, put your trust in that and it will keep you safe from harm.”                    

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will slowly start to alter now, though it was a dirty trick to play on her. I hope the next chapter falls right and fits where I want it to be.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for late replies to emails and we'll wishes, I have been so busy but it was lovely to get them.  
> Anyhows I hope everyone is okay, and this chapter is up to par.

Ren appeared to have fallen to sleep easily.  Whilst you had tossed and turned restless from your anger at their treatment as much as your constant arousal.  Once calmed down from your irritation, the panic began to set in, seeping around you until you could hardly move for it.  Hux wouldn’t personally punish you for the physical assault on Ren, that he would assume the Force-user would deal with himself.  But the attempt to draw Ren into sleeping with you, your little plan to play one over on Hux; that would carry a weighty punishment.  You didn’t really know if Hux already knew; was he sat at some lavish party somewhere, Ren drip feeding him your clumsy attempts at seducing him.  Or would the Force user wait to recount all when he was alone with him, perhaps even having you there to watch the look of horror on your face.  This waiting was probably more agonising than the punishment would be.  Your tortured imagination creating punishments for yourself, that may even outweigh the Emperor’s.  Either way your punishment would most likely come when you least expected it, and if that was possible; cause you more shame than you already felt.  You had only one currency left to bargain with here, they had you conditioned to it; sex.  They had reduced you to nothing, and worst of all were the times you almost craved their touch.  You would have sobbed towards the early, darkest hours before dawn if you’d had the energy, but it would have been a waste of your tears.  A waste of your strength and the resolve that you would need come the next day. 

You dozed briefly, only to wake after a sleep filled with fitful nightmares.  Awoken to what you could have sworn was a burst of woman’s laughter.  You lay there in the velvet darkness, ears straining to listen the heavy silence that surrounded your bedroom.  There were no more odd noises, just the sounds of Ren deep breaths as he slept on besides you.  It had to be a dream, you told yourself that given their tastes wouldn’t Ren have woken to greet Hux if he was returning to their shared bedchamber.  You must have been part of your nightmare you told yourself, whilst burrowing deeper under the covers.  Creating yourself a little nest, whilst you whispered to your babies, stroking the skin above them.  The action becoming as soothing to you as, you hoped it was to them.  Now that Ren had shown you them, it was hard to believe not wanting to feel for them.  The thought of pushing them aside shameful, guilt every time you thought of it, wondering if they had felt that from you too.  Did they love you already as much as you did them?  Hux had told you one was more aware than the other, did she now know how much you loved her.  Or was it only Ren who given his abilities, was to communicate through the Force?  Of the Force; you knew precious little, besides the times Kylo Ren had used it mostly against you, and that one time he had healed the injuries that ultimately he had caused.  Then there was just the mind domination, and that one time he had used it to save you from Novak, and that too had been at heart a selfish moment, for Ren and not yourself.  He had used you that time, to put down Novak’s attempts at self-perceived importance.  To assure him, he had no domination over you.  Not that it hadn’t felt good though, to for that moment feel like that; so protected and not at all the frightened little creature you felt right now.  He had moved you with effortless grace, and something about the whole thing had made you feel protected and cared for.  Another time and place, and it really would have been what he pretended it to be, two equals dancing.

There were other times he had had your back you realised, blinking in shock as you realised it.  There had been times when in his subtle little ways he had stood between you and Hux, but then there were times when he had also been just as cruel.  The more you thought on it, the more events came to mind, the night you had escaped and taken a beating from Hux; what had Ren said to stop him?  Another thought cut in, making you almost kick yourself for your stupidity; when Ren had healed you he had been covered in welts and bruises.  The punishment you had been supposed to face; Hux had said it was borne by another, Ren had taken what was to be your second beating.  Would Hux have beaten you, knowing it would have put his child at risk? Probably not, though he would have found another way to exact his pound of flesh, probably through some other public humiliation.

You weren’t sure now, but you just couldn’t give into trusting him, it would have made no difference; what they had both put you through was unjustifiable, even now with your little freedoms.  Knowing now that you were pregnant at the time made it all the more abominable; despite their cold assurances they wouldn’t have allowed you not to go.  If Ren hadn’t got there in time, if Veers and Novak managed to slice you open, then the surgery would have killed your babies made you shudder.  A fresh wave of anxiety washed over you, more worries for your unborn children.  In answer to that worry, the sleepy gigantic form behind you rolled over, his chest hot as he brought you back to it, the muscles surprisingly soft and yielding to your back.  Shuffling he nudged aside your hair at the back of your neck with his nose, the puffs of warm air at the top of your spine making you shudder for entirely different reasons.  One of his arms wrapped around what had once been a more defined waist, his hand pressing uninvited to your belly.   

“She’s asking me to make sure you’re okay.  She can’t quite understand yet, but she feels emotions, she knows you’re scared Pet.”

His voice was husky from sleep, and he meant well; but it stung you then to hear her thoughts from Ren’s mouth.   It rubbed salt in an already painful wound to know that he would always be able to hear and feel a part of her you wouldn’t.  Then it was followed by a thick chasing of guilt that she would sense that too, she could have sensed that thought.  It was hardly fair to pull Ren into this, for fear that she would resent her link with him.  It wasn’t her fault that you were deaf to the Force, you didn’t want her to feel bad that she wasn’t.  Tutting Ren have a small gasp of amusement, stroking at the mound that contained your babies.  Gripping you tighter to him, so he could move his mouth to your ear, his voice quiet and level, with a small lacing of humour.

“I am not cross with you little-Pet, but I am a little sore about your actions.  If you want to see them, to speak to them you need only have to asked.  Unlike you, I am not petty.”

You bristled at the jibe, before taking a breath to mull it over.  The silence falling between you both like a curtain; he said he wasn’t being petty, but could be seen as sulky, by your refusal to answer.  You wanted to ask your captor for nothing, you wished you could, but that was not the best course of actions for anyone.  Already you relied on your enemy for food and drink, for shelter and the day to day necessities to live; soon you would rely on them for your babies’ needs too.  That you had to ask for this too, was another slicing off the small bit of pride you had left, though it was thankfully for something worth the sacrifice.  It wouldn’t be fair to your children, to punish them for the sins of their fathers, they hadn’t caused this Hux had.  Stilling yourself to that resolve you nodded into the darkness, swallowing your pride in a quick and desperate please. 

Your voice was so quiet, you didn’t think he had heard, until he gave a sigh in answer to it, his voice calmer than you knew he felt as he instructed you to close your eyes again.  This time talking you through calming motions, rather than Force-guiding you through them teaching you how to be more open to them.  It was an explanation as much to sooth the Force sensitive baby, as to make it easier on him.  But it also allowed you a better understanding of at least the theoretical side of how this was done, and in time maybe the ability to be more open to them.  Ren had said she could already shield herself and had the power to shield her sister too.  Making you wonder then exactly how well the child could shield herself, and what else was she capable of?  Did this admission mean that her and Ren communicated often?  Did her own fear come from you, or was she frighten in her own right, and if she did feed off your feelings towards them, was she as terrified of them as you were?  If so, that couldn’t be a good thing for anyone.  Once the time came to hand her over to Hux, would she go willingly to the men you were afraid of?  Because you were powerless to stop them taking them from you, did she know that?    

A more comforting thought gripped you, making you almost shake your tiny head beneath Ren’s massive one; you were not exactly petrified of the both of them.  Yes, you were rightly terrified of Hux.  But mainly for his growing unpredictability around you; the way his anger came suddenly and from nowhere, leaving you terrified and alone.  Changing from calm, to that hot fury in the space of a heartbeat, and the humiliating little games he played with you in revenge for making him feel that way.  He never admitted to, or would lose control before his public; but you wore the mental scars from his treatment of you.  Even under the gentlest of his touch you wanted to flinch, stopped only by the fear of his anger when he did.  But with Ren it was different.  There was an almost open honesty in his anger; you simply feared him when he was annoyed or instructed to hurt you by Hux.  But he allowed you more space to rebel, more space to make mistakes.  Clearly; he would cover those mistakes where he could.  He genuinely in his own way protected you, as much as them; he was a little safer to be around.  This new realisation knocked your thoughts off course, Ren quickly guiding you back to the task in hand.  Ignoring your realisation that with this closeness; he could sense your thoughts with ease.  Again, your thoughts wrapped around your babies, their small frail bodies nestled in warmth and what you hoped was a feeling of cherishment.  Slowly Ren lead your thoughts towards the Force-sensitive twin, showing you how to make the gentle connection. 

He was right, what passed between you wasn’t words but the sensation the word gave.  It amazed you though how much she clung to you, how much she already felt towards her mother.  Gently Ren fed her your own feelings, a small trickling of joy passing back in acceptance of your love for her.  Her tiny mind able to understand simple feelings, such as your drive to protect her, your reassurances for her not to worry, and setting your teeth to the awful thought; to trust Ren too.  Somewhere deep inside that connection you were aware of Ren’s understanding of that, the warmth that he shared with you at that thought.  The connection didn’t last long, and given the smallness of their minds, that was probably for the best.  But it better allowed you to relax and drift to sleep; the connection offering you some of what you craved.  Ren’s stayed close, his hands working firm circles, massaging your aching shoulders and back, the heat of his body soothing in your lonely little world.   

 

The click of the water glass placed at your bedside table roused you from deep slumber.  It was already daylight, but that wasn’t what made you frown, rather it was the person who placed it there.     The Emperor took a moment more to observe your sleep soaked, and dishevelled form, his face as usual vacant of emotions as you brought your spine back against the headboard.  His hair was damp, tousled as though towel dried, his clothing simple and more for comfort than ceremony.  You blinked, pushing the last of the sleep from your eyes, untangling yourself from the snoring Ren.  Reaching for the water glass, as he picked up the book you had pilfered last night.  You had expected him to still be with the woman whose company he had engaged last night, it was after all why he had allowed you Ren for the night wasn’t it?  To watch his pregnant whore, whilst he made use of the prettier more willing one?  You tried puzzling that one out; was Ren cross at not being able to partake in sharing the woman’s body last night, had Hux’s orders for you to remain with him included on his return too.  It could hardly be the woman who had refused Ren, somehow you doubted the Emperor would take another bedpartner that in any way excluded Ren from their lovemaking.  For all his superior position and the role he played between the bedsheets, he loved Ren dearly, and that came ultimately with his respect. 

You wanted to ask him then if he was here, it meant the woman had gone from the royal chambers, or if she still lurked in one of the spare rooms.  Had he taken her to their bed you thought bitterly, was she at this moment curled up in the inner sanctum you had only been privy to the night of your bleed? 

You almost stooped to demand answers of him.  Stopped as your own heart gave a heavy lurch; you didn’t want to know.  The idea of him laid next to her, fucking her as though she was his equal made you want to be physically sick.  That he would elevate her to a position of equality, whilst you the mother of his ‘so called-children’, was reduced to the position more of a prized pet, than a human.  Kept in luxury only to be bred at his whim, just as you would a pet dog or a domesticated cat.  No worse than that a pet had a home, a place of security; it was allowed wrong doings.  Your existence was more that of owned livestock, here to repeatedly give birth his prized offspring, like a nerf did her calves.    

You assumed he had come for your punishment.  To humiliate you for trying to achieve something for yourself last night.  He was allowed to heap hurts onto you; both of body and spirit, but you weren’t allowed to hold any status; regardless of what he did to you now. 

Would her presence tonight signal the start of many more concubines to come?  Or was this what you now learnt by dwelling closer, that they came here often.  If so how often would you see these other women, and just how close to the empty nursery had the Emperor Hux fucked this one last night?  Did they lay in the bed he shared with Ren, or did they share the more lavish ones, the ones he had summoned you to, in your earlier days as his whore?  That thought gave way to a rise of anger, annoyance suffusing your body as you angrily plumbed the pillows around your back, leaning back to rest back against the cotton puffs.  Those cot beds were empty right now, but what when they weren’t?  Would they be ushered back to their beds, by nannie droids, and nursemaids, only allowed to see their fathers when Hux’s libido dictated they could.  Or would your children wake from troubled sleeps to seek out their fathers, innocently opening doors to find him in the arms of another woman.  Would he allow them to see and to touch your babies?  No, please no you silently begged; that would be too much to bare.  Already all of this was too much, and he would heap more onto it.  Your thoughts unravelled the more you thought through each scenario, your imagination running wild with you, as you delved into darker thoughts.  Stopped by a sleep filled sigh, as Ren moved onto his back in his sleep.         

Besides you the Knight mumbled in his sleep, but didn’t move to full wakefulness.   Doubtless as aware of Hux in his unconsciousness; as you were in your sentience.  The Emperor titled the spine, of the book to you in a taunt; though you ignored him.  Sulkily refusing to meet his eyes, as from lowered lashes you watched him run a finger down the edge of the book.  Tapping it before quietly reading off the title to you, before titling his head back to you in an effort to gain your attention.  You still ignored him, setting your jaw to a determined dismissal, today your hate for him rang stronger.  He had started this when he bought his other ** _whore_** into your babies prescience, you would be dammed if you would show him anything but contempt, your own level of coldness.

“I had no idea I owned anything quite this; _sentimental_.”

The word dripped with sarcasm and the smirk that he now set to his face, caught your cheeks ablaze with embarrassment; finally giving him a reaction to his presence.  His tone was dry and suggestive of far more than the words he exchanged with you.  He thought the text beneath his attentions, and probably less of you for choosing to read it.  Whilst he wouldn’t want to admit it, you knew the idea that you would read anything of romance clearly intrigued him.  This judgement for it though, was typical of his responses to your needs.  He could rape you and that was okay, but for you to seek escapism from that was wrong; did he think you weak for needing it?  The book had been silly, and full of romance; but that was exactly why you had chosen it; for the escapism of the simple plot line.  What did he expect you to have picked up, battle strategies, more books advising you to seek medical care he wouldn’t allow you to have?  You weren’t going to bite though, this was another case of his; ‘do as I say, not as I do’ typical of him.  Mustering all the dignity you didn’t quite feel right now, you curled an arm around and over your bump, as you brought the glass to your lips.  Taking a single delicate sip, before realising how thirsty you were and downing the chilled liquid in one.  Replaced the glass on the night stand, as Hux placed the book back besides it, before moving slowly back around to the sleeping Knight of Ren. 

His face lost the stoic neutrality he had used on you, when he looked down as the still sleeping Knight.  There flowed an understanding of emotion, his eyes darkening at the sight of the stiffening cock of his lover beneath the coverlet.  A flash of pink between his teeth; as the imperial tongue darted to wet his plush lips, before lifting a corner of the coverlet to join you both.  He slid slowly to lay next to Ren, his back to the door.  Here he woke the man up with something akin to the sentimental gestures in the book you had been reading.  Sliding himself along his lover’s side, as his hand sought out the waist band on his underpants.  Ren groaned in half wakefulness, tilting his body to offer Hux an easier path to his swollen cock, thrusting his cock into his hand.  Grunting as his Emperor pressed a series of open mouthed kisses, and nips to the column of his throat.    

Dark eyelashes flickered, butterfly kisses against his high cheek bones, lifting to dark wakefulness as a pale, freckled hand slid inside his underwear.  The seam of his lips parted, panting as he gave more exaggerated humps into the circles of Hux’s closed fingers.  It was one more taunt you couldn’t manage, and readying your muscles you pulled the covers.  Stopped by Ren’s invisible force bonds when you tried springing from the bed, to escape the room. 

You wanted to close your eyes, to the ridiculous scene that unfolded before you.  But some ghastly fascination held them open for you, watching as Hux rolled over him.  Pressing his chest flat to padded muscles of his consort’s bare chest.  Carding his fingers through the thick sleep tousled curls that draped Ren’s shoulders.  The fingers of the dark-jedi pressing slipping under the loose shirt Hux wore; the length almost easily encircling the Emperor’s waist managing to make even him look tiny.

They rutted together as nosily they exchanged kisses, your anger giving into heated frustration as Ren tugged down the elastic waist band of Hux’s trousers. 

The smaller man’s cock sprung out, ready and hard; smaller than Ren’s but no less impressive.  Ren’s hand following the splattering of short curls and freckles that ran the pale expanse of skin from his navel to the root of his cock.  Slapped away by his delicate, pale hand when he tried to touch a finger to the glinting bead of precum that threaten to fall onto the clothed lump of Ren’s own cock.  His mouth pulling to a lopsided smile, Hux ran his thumb under the drip, catching it and bringing it to his lover’s lips.  The man writhing below him, silently pleading with lust blown eyes as he sucked hard at the drop of clear fluids. 

Your own cheeks burnt, flushed the same deep pink as Ren’s, as you rudely stared.  Transfixed you watched his own cock lurch in union with Hux’s as he hummed around the digit in his mouth.  The hum reverberating somewhere in the depths of your pussy, gritting your teeth against the needy clenches your pussy gave in sympathy to their throbs.   

Hux hooked his jaw to tilt his mouth down to watch as he griped the enormous cock of his splayed lover.  Jerking it roughly through the fabric of his underwear as below him the darker haired man babbles platitudes, sobbing when Hux’s fingers spread wide in an exaggerated motion of neglect.  The patch of fabric near his cock head, shiny with wet fluids, Ren sobbing as he begged for his lover to repeat the action.  Thrust his hips up to try and gain some friction, as the redhead chuckled in pretend mockery, at his eagerness. 

Nimbly he slid down Ren’s tree trunk legs.  A raised brow ordering him to stillness, with far more efficiency than he had ever managed with you.  A side wards glance was the only concession he gave you, before he leaned over to blow a stream of air over the tent of the patiently waiting, Ren’s pants.  The wet spot intensifying the chill in the burst of hair, making him arch back as futilely he bit down on his lip.  Muffling his moans as Hux took pity, freeing him from his underpants.

“Think of this as a reward Ren; for the duties you performed for me last night.”  

The smirk the ginger gave was probably as much for you as his lover.  The meaning obvious by his intentions for Ren; he was letting you knew he knew, and that he had fucked her; whilst Ren stood guard on his children.  The touch of his lips on Ren’s cock, each bob of his head, as his lips past over the ridges of his swollen member was a taunt to you.  One that was only made worse by the sudden mind link with Ren.

You knew he could talk to you this way, but you didn’t realise unlike the babies he could project his feelings onto someone unbidden.  They were not sentimental emotions, but the raw sensation of pleasure he felt at Hux’s mouth, the feel of his wet tongue on Ren’s cock.  The pleasure building into a knot in his core, pulling itself tauter the longer Hux worked his mouth over him. 

Taking a deep breath, you struggled uselessly against your invisible bindings; wondering if your clit throbbed to the same tempo as his cock did.  Your anger writhing inside you, boiling like a living creature as it ran beneath your skin; waiting for the moment to strike.  The sensation of pleasure building your own excitement up, this way of pressing himself on you, no less invasive than the other times, his hands had touched you to incite this feeling.  Your body unsure how to disconnect his pleasure from your own.  Each tremulous breath you took feeding it, until it boiled ready to overflow when they let you free.

Besides you Ren turned to face you.  A finger reaching towards your cheek, halted by your furious stare of warning.  He blinked, his irises pushing back the pupil of his eyes to a less obscene showing of black, trepidation brewing behind the sea of gold and topaz.  He swallowed, his mouth opening to speak, the words caught in a sob as Hux let his cock fall from his mouth.

You weren’t sure if it was to deal with what was passing between you and Ren.  You weren’t sure at all what was passing between you both, just that it was of an annoyance to Hux.  He looked over at you.  Capturing your eyes, in an icy stare that seemed to melt to an almost stormy grey. The set of his jaw matching the softening of his eyes. 

“Is it still too much an insult to your sensibilities if you were to only kiss him?”

Your eyes widened in shock, amazed that he would ask a question so crass; phrasing it as though you were the one being difficult.  Your confusion at his choice question, surprised even you; temporally dousing your anger.  A splutter was the first hint that you had that under control, and you ran through a quick supply or scathing retorts, trying to work out your best one.  Your anger rekindling to a steady growl, threatening to make you whole again, as you set your lip to a scowl his own face hardening in a mirrored reflex of your own.        

“Look Pet.”

He stopped himself, biting back what you knew to be an anger filled order and with a slow shaky exhale, he let go the harsh set to his shoulders.  Almost physically melting into something unknown, something far more unsettling.  The gentleness, the humanity in his humbler tone neutralizing the outburst of anger for good this time.  

“Kitten it’s nothing you haven’t permitted me to do to you this last month, it need lead no further than a simple kiss.”

You shook your head in a minute refusal, tears blurring your eyes.  Was this his way of taunting you for trying to kiss Ren last night, for what you had tried to initiate?  You didn’t know how to proceed, how to play this morning’s game and still come off okay.  A part of you argued it would genuinely be nothing, that a kiss was just a kiss; and it might sooth the actions of the previous night.   But you couldn’t do it, you craved closeness, to be held and touched, and weak as you were it would have been too much to stop there, if they asked for more.  You looked over at Ren for guidance; the tears blurring your vision, making you blink hard to clear them, allowing the salty tracts to mar your cheeks.

“It will just be a kiss little one, nothing more until you ask for it; but I too miss your touch.”

You startled, your lips parting in a reflex generated rebuke.  Stopping as you realised the sincerity in Ren’s words.  There was no declaration of emotive feeling from him, just a simple physical gesture.  Shaking your head in what he knew was more confusion than refusal, he sidled closer.  Tilting his torso across the bed, so that your faces were closer.  In no way did he move to kiss you, or even press the question; but his mouth hung loose next to you in an open invite, one you hesitated to take up. 

Soon Hux’s lips pressed back to Ren’s manhood, and it was only a matter of time before you were fed the sensations Ren felt.  The touch of Hux’s supple lips coaxing what had been a softening muscle, easily back to hardness with a single kiss.  The powerfully muscled man besides you, reduced to a whimpering mess by the ministrations of his Emperors’ mouth.  Your eyes glued to the spot where Hux’s mouth covered his cock, as your core clenched.  Horrified you watching the Emperor’s swallows as he took him further into his mouth, his lips almost tickling the dark curls covering his groin.  Besides you, Ren’s pants grew louder, and did your own breathing.  The puffs of warmer air battering your cheekbones, reminding you of his plea, and how easy it would be to give in and relieve this ache.  It was he who was watching you and not Hux, his attentions not on the man who gave him pleasure, but you.  He was trying to draw you back in, trying to make you willingly give into their games, that had to be what the sensations he fed you were about.  Your entire body now practically itched with the desire to give in, to feel something of release.  Your lips aching to be touched and accepted, debating taking from them a fake sense of belonging; if only for a moment to be needed, to be sated.  But somehow self-preservation made you hold back on that; knowing the second you pressed your lips to his, you would have given yourself up.  The lamb would lie down with the lion; and this waiting predator was ravenous to devour you.

Whimpering, you tore your eyes from Hux, Ren tilting under his partner to rub the tip of his nose against yours.  His eyes so close you could see every fleck of gold, hidden within the bronze of the slivers of his irises.  Stroking your cheek, he nuzzled his nose against the side of yours, his mouth so close that it wouldn’t have taken any effort to accept his mouth. 

You knew this was all orchestrated to try and entice you, the waves of Ren’s pleasure battering your steadfast resolve.  Your body crying out to be touched, to be sated the throbbing at your pussy intensifying, to an almost violent pre-orgasm clench.  They had clearly chosen Ren as the more likely candidate for you to accept first, choosing to feed you their own pleasure in an attempt to spur you to accept their bodies.  Knowing that with your round belly it was almost impossible for to give in and touch yourself; they had made you dependant on them for this too.  If you wanted to cum, then in all practicality, you would have to ask them to help you.   

You didn’t understand their needs, or desires.  Why was it so damned important to willingly accept their touches; they had forced you into everything else.  You wanted to demand answers to the long months of torturous questions, all of them stolen under the breathy gasp of Ren’s sudden orgasm, and the resulting effect it had on your own body.  In a way you couldn’t quite describe, you knew it wasn’t entirely an orgasm; just the mirrored sensations of Ren’s on your body.  It didn’t leave you boneless and heavy limbed afterwards, gasping for air as he did, but in it’s own way it felt good.   You could literally feel the loss of control as he poured himself out into Hux’s mouth; making you wonder if through their bond, that was what Hux felt every time he fucked Ren.  There was no real time to consider it though as with his languidness came a release of the invisible bonds holding you in place, as you realised he had lost control of his Force-hold.  The sudden loss of heavy pressure holding each muscle taught; left you the freedom to run, and run you did immediately did.  Instinct making you bolting as far away as you could from the pair of them.  Your belly making your strides short and your gait awkward, forcing you to support it.  The extra weight tiring, quickening the speed at which the adrenaline left you, leaving you exhausted and your back once more aching.  Slower now you walked into the wider more decorative corridors of his more public rooms and into the plusher lounge room you had met the woman yesterday. 

Here you calmed down; closing your eyes to take a shaky stock of yourself.  Haunted by the image of Ren’s face as he came undone from Hux’s touch, and what you had felt.  Almost shell-shocked at the way those half-closed eyes had cruelly held you to watched your writhing.  Just another test you thought, trying to reason with your calmer self. Another game, one more taunt to take gauge of your reactions. 

It wasn’t entirely true to say it had repulsed you, as much as it had scared you, and you’d be lying if you didn’t admit that you had been fascinated by his request.  His gentle offer to touch him, the admission that he wanted you, rather than them just deciding take you it had unnerved you more than the sex.  It was as though in some odd unsettling way he had been offering himself to you, and now you began to wonder if it had ever been a choice or if there was now to be a punishment.  You paced the floor, unsure what to do with yourself.  Your bare feel slapping the wooden floor, your nightdress blooming behind you as you walked; threatening to trip you when you turned.  Even to sleep in, your clothing was more ostentatious than anything you had worn as a free woman.  You didn’t need the frills, you needed practicality and the warmth that came with knowing you were loved, that to someone you were treasured.  This latest dig from Hux was too much.  The stress it was more than you needed now.  They didn’t come for you, upsetting more than just your nerves.  A small part of you now wondered how much of a fight you would have put up if Ren had kissed you, would you have willingly kissed him back, and Hux too?  Their gentleness was all an act, you told your protesting cunt.  Chiding yourself for the responsive way they had conditioned your body as much as you praised yourself for not giving in to them.  The slickened need that coated your sex; more a desire to be touched, a need to be wanted than to be fucked by them. 

Wiping your eyes to clear the gathering moisture there, you smothered your nightdress over your stomach.  The touch of your swollen belly oddly comforting, as you paced towards a chair, the simple touch reminding you why you needed to remain calm, who was more important.  

“Well if it isn’t the little mouse.”            

Your eyes swung open at that familiar taunt, turning to face the source of it the escort from the night before lounging in the doorway.  The well-dressed lady once more too close for your liking, her dress different to the one last night.  But the clothing unlike yours, still not betraying what she was.  Though you knew you thought; lip curling un bidden into a sneer as she moved closer, your nightdress making it difficult to back away.  Slowly she sauntered into the lounge room, the tapping of her heeled feet, ringing off the panelled floor.  The echo of each step making your legs more unsteady, as her face darkened to something more serious than jealousy. 

“I thought when he left me, he went to you; yet here you are alone.  Strange that he would leave you alone like this; to have spent the night with me, if you really were who you’re rumoured to be.”

For some reason the part of you that wanted to tell her she was welcome to him, wouldn’t speak for you.  When had   As the backs of your legs hitting the side of a chair, you realised she was stalking you.  Assessing you for a weakness, trying to work out where her opening was.  You were as right not to tell her you didn’t want Hux, as you wished he was here now.  He would know how best to make her back off, and if you lost face it would be at his order not your own cowardice.  Trying not to give into the temptation to bolt, you moved to a more defensive stance.  Knowing your best bet was if you could to yell for help, that physically you were not up to a fight, nor was it the safest course of action.  You didn’t think you could yell loud enough, and given his current whereabouts you doubted his willingness to help you.  You’d run for him, but you weren’t sure you run fast enough.  You likely would not make it near enough to him on time, and surely if she was a physical threat you couldn’t handle then he would be here.  Surely, even if he would choose to risk you, he still would not risk injury to his children. 

In that same thought process, you realised that didn’t want to go running for him.  You didn’t want to appear anymore dependant on their protection than you had to, but there was the problem you thought clutching you belly.  You were made to be completely dependent, you relied on them for everything; they had made sure to keep it that way, they wanted you useless.  She stood now a foot or two away from you, her gaze running up your body in a sneer of her own.  Making you wonder if you should reconsider, if the deathtroopers were at least close enough to yell for.  You didn’t know what to do for the best now.  Here you were exactly what she taunted you with; the timid little mouse Hux had made you.  Scared of your jailers and even your attendants, hesitant of even pushing past her to get to the door, for fear that it would bring you a new punishment.  Too bloody scared of even your own shadow.

“Well didn’t you make yourself very available to him.  There is no wonder he seldom comes to us now, when you so openly display his virility for him.”

You detested that she assumed you were like this by choice, uncomfortable that she would probably know well of his appetites.  There was thick taint of unmistakeable bitterness to her taunt and as her eyes settled again on your stomach, you knew it would be fight or flight.  Squaring your shoulders to her you got ready, determined it would not be flight.  The day to day anger at being used had never gone away, and now you had a chance to take it out on the enemy.  Although you’d known little of hand to hand combat in your role in the Resistance, but somehow you guessed you would probably know more than her.  Even fat with his child you probably stood more of a chance of winning than her.  The role she played for the First Order was obviously not as a soldier.  No, she spread her legs and Hux filled her hole, whilst she moaned her gratitude, you were better than that.  If she came at you, you would fight back; and some hidden part of you knew you would revel in it.  It seemed like forever to wait for her to strike, though looking back it had only been a breath or two.  But when she finally sprung, you were more than ready for her. 

Her weight jostled you, easily knocking you off balance and onto your back, spilling over the chair and onto the floor.  The arm painful when it stabbed into your hip, but thankfully slowing the fall.  Somehow though you had managed to tuck your knees up, the soles of your feet kicking her back across the room, and over a waiting footstool.  She landed roughly, tangled in the furniture and stupidly you let yourself have a moment to breath and rub your side, instead of getting straight to your feet.  You turned onto your knees, which gave her ample time to jump at your back, your palms quickly slapping to the floor to stop your belly hitting it.        

“This should have been me not you.  Not some terrorist bitch, who doesn’t even know how to please him properly.  Not some fucking resistance scum who was so unruly, so badly trained that he couldn’t take her out in public to begin with!”  

Her nails raked at your cheek in an attempt to grab your hair, to both cause pain and to force you down to the floor.  Adrenaline though made you stronger right now than she would ever be, that and mother’s desperate drive to protect, her offspring.  You managed to throw her off you and stand, your brain not allowing your body to register anymore pain, as her closed fist took with it a clump of hair.  She was relentless though and driven by her loathing of you, quick to come at you again almost screeching.  Making you unable to turn in time to the running behind you, you jabbed back at her, your elbow swinging back in time to connect with her stomach.

“Enough Pet!”

The voice was winded, but it was most certainly not female.  Horrified you turned around, dropping to your knees as you did at the feet of the red-faced ginger now in front of you.  He sounded both in pain and cross, and sobered from your anger your stomach threatened to turn to water.  You knew you were in trouble, dropping quickly to your knees in contrition and a show of obeisance.  Across the room, Ren held onto the struggling woman, his hands around her waist as she lied that it was all your fault.  It was a stupid action, you knew Ren could sense a lie, and that was probably why he held onto her, but the restraining touch was still too intimate for your liking.  You wanted him to let go of her, nervously wondering if somehow it had been all you fault, debating who Ren was protecting and wishing you knew it was you.  He was waiting for orders you realised, your heart in your throat as you waited for him to scold you for your actions.

Your own face burnt red, as you realised how stupid you had been, how recklessly you had endangered more lives.  You should have at least tried to run, you told yourself now you were free of the rage that had blinded you, it was obvious how badly you had behaved. 

Hux took a few more breaths to steady himself.  His breaths becoming shallower as his face calmed back to his normal tone.  He spoke when he was ready, your face lowered to the floor in shame, you didn’t need to look at his eyes when he spoke, it was all there in the tone of his voice.

“Get her out of here!”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be required edited. Though nothing will change to the plot line. I don't know if I am nervous about it, or if something isn't sitting right.

You moved to stand; readying yourself to leave the room.  Desperate to obey and put as much distance between you and Hux as possible.  Not sure where he intended you to go to; but knowing to move fast, to appear willing was the best course of action now.  Your hip hurt, throbbing as it no doubt developed a bruise, your belly making it harder to stand than it had been to kneel.  You blinked away the prickling at your eyes, determined not to cry yet, the woman probably hadn’t left the room yet, either way you would not risk looking at her to check.  To debase yourself before by giving in to your tears was one thing; Ren and Hux had seen you cry often enough, but you would not appear weak before her.  You wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing you cry, no matter how badly you wanted to.  No, you would much rather wear stripes than give into your hormones and cry for her.  It was hard though.  The more you pressed on that leg, the more that same hip hurt.  You would have to stand independently of the chair to walk though, you told yourself.  You would have to suffer the pain. 

Gritting your teeth to the sharp jab of stabbing pain that ran up your leg and down your lower back, meeting at your hip; you stood.  Wobbling a little unsteadily, until you realised leaning on the other side was less painful.  You were a stupid, stupid woman; you told yourself preparing for the pain that would come, steadying yourself ready to walk.  Still not trusting yourself not to cry it you looked up.  Eager to prove you could behave yourself, and obey the command for you to leave, you took a slow limp forward.  Ignoring what you knew of the man to foolishly hope your compliance would show enough remorse to somehow soothe his anger. 

Wincing against the pain you went to move the other leg, quickly swinging off the more painful side.  You weren’t sure what you had done, but it didn’t feel good and you knew it was pointless asking for a medic.  In the heat of the fight; you had been too worked up to feel pain, now a few places throbbed with developing bruises, that seemed to go bone deep.  A loud click and you yelped, catching yourself on the chair back next to you.  Exhausted and the adrenaline fled you were more than a little worried.  Your hip hurt worse than it should, but you were desperate to ingratiate yourself back into Hux’s good books.

“Stop!” 

The voice made you automatically flinch, for what could follow it.  The last few hours had been a series of self-centred, stupid mistakes; most of which this time were your fault.  Now beat up and hurt; you wondered if laying there, if kissing Ren wouldn’t have been the better idea.  At least admitting to Hux you were jealous of his other whore, she wouldn’t have been here.  Oh, you knew that; had you of called him back he most likely would have demanded that you spread your legs for him.  But it would have been easier, and hurt far less than your hip, it wouldn’t have put your babies in danger. 

Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the back of the chair, readying yourself for the next bought of agony that was to come when you moved.  It would be quicker to push off and move speedily you decided; get it over and done with and taking a deep breath, you planned your course.  Readying yourself and thrusting yourself away from the chair back.  You had half turned before your back collided with a wall of muscle, knocking you off your precarious balance, and making you yelp.  Tensing more from the shock and anticipation of the pain that was to come than anything else, it was going to really hurt when you jarred to that floor.  Your palms spread out ready to catch yourself as you fell, yelling in shock for what was about to hurt a lot more.  A pair of arms wrapped your waist; absorbing the shock, and lessening the jarring pain that should have come with falling.   

 “Pet hold on, let me help you; it will hurt less.”

If anyone had come to help you move, you had expected it to be Ren and not Hux.  But the man who caught you, and held you in his arms, offering you his help instead of insisting you took it; was definitely the Emperor.  If the grip at your waist shocked you into stillness, the soft repeating of your moniker almost stilled your heart to nothingness.  You were speechless when the Emperor tightened his grip on you to stop you leaving him.  Pale faced and sickly with worry and pain; you watched Ren take the woman out.  Swallowing hard to push back the nervousness and quell the tears that decided to spill your face anyway.  You were for it now you realised, your tears stinging the scratches as they tracked your cheeks, your lip quivering as you tasted the salt in in them.  The gentleness was all a farce, once she had gone he would let you have his fury instead.  You would see the Hux you were used to dealing with.  He had simply sent her away to punish you here, and your frantic mind raced through the possibilities; it was going to be humiliating, and worse probably very painful too.  Trying to still the tremble in your voice, you began grovelling for his forgiveness.  Repeatedly begging him not to hurt you, as you held onto your hip; unable but prepared to try and drop to your knees again. 

“No Pet, it is I who am sorry.  I never should have allowed her even a possibility of access to you.”

If it was possible he gripped you tighter, the swell of your belly now too much for one arm to span. You were not entirely sure you had heard him correctly, and your eyes swung wide; your trembling the worst you had ever felt him imbue you with.  This was new completely uncharted territory, and you were not sure how to start.  He blamed you when his plan to capture Veers went awry, there was no hint of self guilt, but his whore attacked you; and he admitted guilt.  Ignoring the protocol, you had tried hard to lose yourself in, you lifted your head.  Tilting it to look him unbidden directly in his eyes, your lips parted in a confused sigh that took all coherent thought with it.

Now you didn’t quite know where to look or to think, though for once not quite out of fear.  Thick ginger lashes framed his furtive eyes, the steel blue tinged more with green in this light.  His look somehow warmer, and filled with something you couldn’t quite name.  He leaned down to press a kiss to your cheek, lashes gently fluttering closed against the pink of his cheekbones.  It was almost like he was waiting for you to look at him, his face an open page of sincerity.  He wasn’t lying to you, but you were not optimistic enough to suggest he showed any guilt at the marks to your face.   Yet his lips were soft as they pressed against the scratch marks marring your otherwise smooth skin.  His mouth trying to sooth the red mark, before his thumb stroked it in what you knew to be another attempt at an apology.  Optimism won out, to all appearances he seemed genuinely sorry. 

It was like a sucker-punch to the chest and somewhere inside, your heart beat wildly, thudding to a fast and unsteady beat tempo of panic.  Unsure what to make at this, how best to deal with him; this was a first.  You had never been given an apology for anything they did to you, or for the harm others did to you for it.  Where you even supposed to even acknowledge him, with a reply or were you supposed to just quietly accept what had been said.  Was it another test, one that doubtless you were failing.  More tears scalded your cheeks, each one heavy with confused fear, each one shushed and dabbed away with his gloved fingers; as you waited ready for a change in his mood.

“Pet, I made a promise to look after you. I. I have failed you Kitten, I will do better I swear.”

He looked genuinely remorseful, his cheeks carrying a hit of shame colouring them a dusky pink.  The apology wounded you, but you didn’t care for his promises; you had heard them all before.  Always he insisted he would keep you safe, yet again and again he brought you before harms door.  This was however the first time he had admitted his failure to protect you, not that you noticed.  It wasn’t like it overly mattered; Hux had failed you so many times it wasn’t even as though you even cared about broken promises.  The only thing you were worried about with regards to her, was she would at some point be coming back and that you did not want. 

Fingers fidgeting on a loose thread you took a breath to demand they never let her near your children, closing your mouth quickly as common sense caught back up with you.  It would achieve nothing, Hux would allow her where he wanted and this would be another fear to his arsenal of control methods.  No, you would not risk an ask.  He would love to know he could lord it over you with that one.

Kylo Ren had returned, and you stood watching from the corner of your eye, as the knight approached Hux.  Dropping to one knee before him.  His role here obvious from the pomp and ceremony he normally reserved for Hux’s throne in the audience chamber.  He was addressing Hux now not as his lover; but as his hound.  He spoke briefly; assuring him it was done.  His eyes dark with a possessive hunger before he blinked.  Turning his face to stare wide eyed up at you.  A pre-emptive shiver ran up your spine as he remained kneeling.  There was something passing between the two men, something else beyond your understanding you realised as you looked down from Hux’s arms. 

“She won’t be coming back Pet; I have made sure of this.”

You could hazard a guess at why she wasn’t coming back, and that was a horrendous thought.  Had another life been extinguished because of your failings.  She was a threat though that you guessed Hux would not entertain, not when it hinted at threatening his daughters.  For all the guilt and the revulsion swirling inside of you the two men were oddly calm.  But to them putting down a threat, ending anyone who got in their way was as common placed as breathing.  Ren remained kneeling and Hux kept his grip firm, you were going nowhere; they wouldn’t let you.  You weren’t sure if this was a taunt, or some weird declaration of something you couldn’t grasp.  For once you were not being punished, and for that you were not sure you should be grateful.

It was only when you blinked, shifting position to relieve the ache at your back; something the weight of your pregnancy often made you do, that you remembered your injury.  Wincing and giving a small yelp, your fingers caught in the front of Hux’s tunic to steady yourself.  Each time you moved the pain in your hip was getting worse, and the tears that threatened to return were as much for the pain, as the fear that came with it.  You were too far gone in your pregnancy to have been fighting, who knew what could have happened. 

Ren had already stood to help Hux steady you, and even Hux showed signs of concern.  Tenderly asking you if it was really that bad, his jaw clenching when you nodded in answer to his question.  Ren made an offer to heal whatever was wrong; dismissed by Hux who tried assisting you to the nearby couch, your extra weight probably too difficult to carry.  It wasn’t too much for Ren, his frame scooping to lift you into his arms, ignoring the couch to carry you outside their chambers.  There must have been a passing of instructions through their Force-bond though, for Ren to be doing this.  His long strides leading you both through sections of the palaces you had never been before.

You encountered very few servants, and as you drew closer you could guess the reasons.  There was a smell of antiseptic and steel, no wonder this area was seldom used; it was a private medical facility.  It made complete sense that the Emperor had one, though it was staffed not by private medical staff as you would have expected; but First Order’s medics.  Another testament that he was first and foremost a soldier.  Their white medical robes were all embroidered with the First Order badge over the left breast and arm.  A droid approached first, as others scrambled for a gurney-trolley; Ren lay you down atop it, careful to keep you steady with the Force as he let go of you.  You pressed closer to Ren, not wanting him to leave you, needing his familiarity.  Not able to relax; it felt a life time ago since you’d had so many people rushing around you at once; or at least ones that did not seem to seek to do you harm. 

Somehow your hands were pried from Ren’s tunic.  Hux appearing from nowhere and taking charge of the situation.  He strolled amongst the medical personnel as though born to do so, vetting each one that was allowed access to you.  It was just like he would have done during the war you quickly summarised.  Each man deferring to him freely as a superior officer; not their god-emperor.  It was all indicative of good training, as they approached him freely with test results; each of them skirting around the black clad hulk of Ren. 

It stunned you more than you could say, to discover your medical details were brought up to date within an hour or two.  There was enough residue information from your incarceration records to build up from there; basic bloods and a full body scan.  Hux able to answer far more questions than you realised, even dating when he had assumed you to have conceived.  The earlier physician’s findings were purged from your records, replaced with fresh and accurate information and most importantly maternity scans.  For the first time, you could hold a had a scan of your babies, and you had a medic tell you they were okay.  Well you overheard a medic tell Hux they were okay, unnecessarily confirming with him the estimated dating of the pregnancy.  Nobody asked you the questions and of course and everyone talked over you like you were not there, almost as though the medics were not permitted to converse with you.  You were just the surrogate here, weren’t you?  Ren and Hux would be registered as parents, but you wished somebody would reassure you; caught up in a world of your own worry the dates adding to it.  Twenty-one weeks, shouldn’t they have kicked by now, were they okay developmentally?

More conversation went on above your head, and you prodded at your stomach.  Trying to encourage movement and trying your best not to look concerned.  Across the room; Ren’s head tilted to watch you, his eyes calming and assuring as he guarded you.  If there was anything wrong one way or another; he would have known, they were fine.       

You settled back into the raised back of the gurney and readjusted yourself.  Gritting your teeth as you shifted your weight, though keeping silent as always; just watching the goings on.  You wondered if anyone thought, it odd that Hux was only just bringing his pregnant whore for medical treatment?  If so, nobody even showed concern; let alone voiced it; nobody wanted to speak to you.  They had seen your preliminary records; you were listed as a prisoner of war, they probably thought you too far beneath them.  If they had of spoken, you wouldn’t have been able to answer?  What did you have to say that Hux would permit you to? 

Eventually a choice of treatment was decided on, although you gathered Ren was all for trying another Force healing.  Something Hux considered too risky this late on, telling Ren he was a warrior not a healer or a midwife; your body was too complicated now.  Ren wasn’t happy; but he relented, which made you assume Hux was right in this.  But he wouldn’t leave, insisting on sitting next to you as a nurse applied a bacta patch and injections to your hip.  The scan thankfully showed it badly bruised, and a trapped nerve; though not apparently broken.  The Nurse trembled this close to Ren, almost jumping when you gave a hiss of pain between clenched teeth.  She was petrified of Ren, and he used that as much to ensure she carried out the correct treatment, as he did to amuse himself.  The nurse apologising to Ren; that she couldn’t give you pain relief for the injections.  As she rubbed over the patch; more to soothe his temperament than your pain. 

It hurt and you so wanted to give in and have another cry, your hormones as guilty as this treatment of you.  You could understand the need to heal you quickly; already your body would have scant reserves; it was exhausting how much the two tiny bodies took from you to grow.

Ren stayed close by; even when Hux had to go.  Apologising that he couldn’t stay longer, before kissing Ren farewell.  He moved to kiss you, and you held on stiffly to the trolley side as his lips pressed to your forehead, and his hand possessively smoothed over your stomach.  You were still waiting for his temperament to alter, but you understood that gesture as much as his subordinates would; it was a warning to keep all of you safe.  You only realised you were most likely staying there for the night at least, when somebody fetched your evening meal.  Ren passing samples of the food through a droid to check for poisons before tasting it himself for poisons; it seemed even in here they were anticipating threats.  When it came for time to wash up for the night; a female attendant appeared to offer Ren her assistance for you.  Waved away by Ren who took the soap and cloth from her, rolling his eyes at how quickly she ran off.  Leaving him to assist you to the en-suite.

It was hard to wash, but you managed it.  Ren talking to you more as the shower drowned out his low murmurs of assurance.  His hands firm and deft as they reached the places you couldn’t; warning you before he touched your more intimate areas.  You wouldn’t have flinched anyway, so there was no need; you were far too well a trained Pet by now, not to just suffer their touches there.  You didn’t have to like it though, you warned yourself as the soap was rinsed off you and a towel wrapped around you.  Ren would not risk you slipping on the wet floor; carrying you back to the newly placed medical bed; confirming your suspicions that you would be spending the night.  The dark-jedi laying you down, and tucking you in as he took the chair next to you.  Bidding you good night, as he ordered the lights dimmed.         

 


	27. Chapter 27

_You were dreaming, you had to be.  Never had Hux looked at you that tenderly, and never had he escorted you as an equal amongst the crowds of his people.  You were decked in his wealth the slave collar missing, though your clothing was no less revealing than some of the earlier gowns he had you dressed in.  Layers of champagne coloured, semi-transparent lace, over artfully embroidered underwear.  The Emperor guided you through his throne room; his clothing heavy with spun gold thread and twill around the collar._

_The large chamber filled with the shadows of many people; a party you realised, this one easily the twice the size of the gathering on Zeltros.  Somehow despite your revealing clothing, you didn’t feel as naked in the crowds.  Not when the redhead at your side wrapped an arm possessively around you; drawing you back to him to quell any disapproving looks.  Somewhere in the crowd you knew was Ren.  If you had of looked you knew you would see his tall head and shoulders, towering above most revellers.  But you knew you hadn’t looked; that wasn’t how you knew he was there.  It was more a sensing of him, than his voice booming over the crowds as he yelled in amusement, slowly chasing after something._

_A sharper, higher pitched peal of laughter and you turned to the source of Ren’s amusement.  Hux bending in time to catch the dark-haired toddler that launched herself full speed at him, dark eyes twinkling in merriment as he hoisted her up.  Ren came strolling leisurely behind her, one of his massive strides easily four of her bounding leaps.  She laughed as Hux spun her mid-air her little legs spinning out with her skirts, layers of frills flapping as the shadows moved back for him.  Balanced on one gigantic shoulder; was a second child.  This one a redhead her eyes a pale blue, her face solemn; as she held her arms out for you.  You took her easily from Hux, holding her on your hip, the first child now demanding to be also held by you.  Your dream-self finding it so easy to hoist her onto your other hip; though you knew realistically it shouldn’t be.  Both leaned into you, and each man pulled tighter to you whispering something you couldn’t quite catch into each of the child’s ears.  Leaning to whisper what somehow you knew was the same thing into yours, though you still could not work it out._

_The crowds and the party dissipated in a swirl of colours; leaving you in the nursery Hux had built for you.  Your arms empty as each of the men leaned over a cot side.  Inside the girls lay side by side; younger though aware of your presence.  Their cubby hands clenched tight to each other; tiny plump lips pursed as they slept on.  You thought yourself an outsider to this until a gloved hand reached to pull you between the two men.  Carefully you leaned over the wooden frame to kiss each of them.  Brushing aside the curls that danced across smooth baby soft skin; breathing in a scent like cotton candy and apples as your heart leapt at the sight._

You woke with a jolt into the semi-dark room; the two men stood next to you whispering as they looked back at you.  So you thought brows knitting in consternation; you had been dreaming. It was the middle of the night, but the good thing about the constant exhaustion from your pregnancy, meant that despite the pain in your hip; you had managed some sleep.  The dream was an odd one, half filled with futures denied to you.  It was hard to decide if the two figures besides you woken you as they switched places, or was it the uncomfortableness of the dream’s occupants.  They spoke quietly, which more often than not meant it was about you, it was the only thing they seemed to fear you over hearing.  Ren disappeared, leaning to bid not just you goodbye, but your bump too.  An act you considered he had earned since he so dutifully looked after them.  You suspected they were more receptive of Ren’s touch, since one at least spoke to him, and so you allowed him this connection.  It would be easier to take them from you, if they didn’t fear at least one parent.  Hux watched almost enviously at the exchange, whilst he settled down on the chair besides you.  You wished it had of been Ren who had stayed; it was a difficult choice but you much preferred his company over Hux’s.  This whole situation was Hux’s fault.  Hux had told Ren to rape you, and then had decided you would be kept as his sex-slave.  He was the one who had ordered you bred like some pet, and then he was the one who brought that woman near you.  Your hip hurt, throbbing with every minute shifting of your legs; and it was ultimately his fault you hurt.  He had made you lose your temper, when he rubbed your nose in his other relationships.  Hux leaned over to touch your bump, asking if he could do anything to help.  The terse no should have been warning enough not to continue; but Hux was not about to let you gain mastery over him.  Even if he was sorry; he was clearly not sorry enough to afford you the decency not to touch you.

“You somehow feel I am entirely responsible for this injury Pet?”

Your hackles rose at the derisive tone he used to address the agony you were in.  Though months of training kicked in; stopping you from biting at his taunt.  Was he deliberately baiting you?  He seldom did anything by accident.  Did he want you to let go your anger, and shout at him?  His expression said otherwise, guarded as though ready for the defence and not the offense if you did choose to strike. 

“I do not remember being the one to attack you.”

It was too much to ask silence of you now and you didn’t care who could hear.  He was completely delusional if he thought you would swallow that.  You took the breath to throw your accusation at him.  To let him know what you thought of men who played on other’s insecurities; to entice them into their beds.  He was playing another in a long series of dirty tricks, and you were not about to stand for it. 

“Funny that your Highness; I don’t remember being the one stooping low enough to employ jealousy tactics here.”

That had after all been his plan hadn’t it, to display what he could have; whilst trying to have you?  You had been supposed to accept Ren’s offer to drag Hux back to you.  You had to admit that for a moment it had been very tempting.  To be given that power to pull the Emperor himself away from another, was a heady cocktail to swallow; if you hadn’t of been forced to choked on it afterwards of course.  Hux had blushed; the expression of shock out of place on the usually controlled exterior.  It gave him a youthful flush of uncertainty, and his lips parted in a hastily covered stammer.  The red of his cheeks and ears all the more defined for the white fabrics he wore.  It had been some calculated plan then?  A petty, childish attempt at goading you into opening your legs then?

“You have yourself to blame for this situation too Pet, you chose to attack, there was always the option for you to run.  Go back to sleep, before I change my mind on the outcome of this for you.” 

What would he change, would he decided to keep you close and risk more harm to you?  No, you somehow doubted that, more likely that his outcome would involve partaking of your body.  Better than you obey for fear of testing his intentions.  You couldn’t quite manage to obey him and sleep, no matter how hard you worked to clear your mind.  He was embarrassed, and you had managed to do that!  Now was it his ego that had taken a tumble when you had said no, or his pride that you called him out on it.  It was too much to go back to sleep on, and instead you just lay there gloating over your small triumph.  Time passed and although you did your best to feign it.  Hux knew you were awake the whole time, though he didn’t comment on it, rather that he played the same game you did.  You would catch a glimpse of him watching you when you peered over at him.  Your head facing him as you rested on your arm, the added curvature the weight of your belly making it impossible not to lay on your side.  It had to be your good hip you laid on though, and not the injured one, which meant you had to lay facing him. The temptation to keep sneaking looks at him from under lowered lashes too much to ignore, as inside your stomach there was a warm glow of success.  You had managed to get one up on him. 

Hux kept up his work whilst he sneakily watched you back.  Both a holo and datapad were kept close by at all times as he worked on through the night.  Although he switched between them both regularly, you knew he was also watching you.  He would sigh; rubbing his face whilst he placed the electronic device he was studying down on the table next to him taking a sip of what smelt like caff.  Taking brief rests and using the excuse of taking a mouthful of his drink to look over at you.  Every time he drank, he would take time look down at you.  His eyes skimming over the changed curvatures of your body, flitting over your raised hip and the abundant swell of your belly, lifting up to the curve of your breasts.  You would close your eyes quickly before he reached your face; the weight of his stare threatening to burn more than your cheeks as you held your breath steady.  None of this made sense, being in a medicenter was hard enough to take in.  After months of keeping your pregnancy as secret, his refusals to let anyone know had obviously backfired.  That woman had been shocked to see you pregnant, it was something even she was not privy to.  So why did he only use you like this; why were you so fucking special. 

“Are you in a lot of pain?”

It was pointless to keep playing at being asleep when he so openly challenged you.  You looked at him, the unnatural light of the device highlighting the contrast between pale skin, and dark shadows under his eyes.  It made his lashes appear darker, and his eyes a darker blue as they peered over at you waiting.  This blatant challenge of his authority, and prowess had been a interesting buzz, one that he had obviously seen fit to cut short.   

It didn’t too much you supposed and you shook your head.  Adding that it only really hurt when you moved; nobody else needed to add that it had been a lucky escape.  Digging the heels of both hands into your eyes, you tried pushing the prickling wetness back inside them.  You felt wretched and he was right; you could have damaged far more than your hip, and you still felt guilty as hell for it.  What had you been thinking?  Hux gave another sigh, this one less weary, but more put-upon.  Putting down his work to come closer, plucking at a tissue as he approached sitting on the side of the bed.  He handed over the tissue, and you brought it under the nest of your hands to wipe away the tears.  His fingers driving a steady tempo up and down your arm, his attempt to be sympathetic.

The first mumbling of a choked apology he ignored as he continued stroking your arm.  The second he shushed, as he brushed back your hair.  The third he tried pushing you onto your back to look at him and on the fourth he gave a barking command to submit to his wishes.  You did, pushing yourself up onto your back, the pillows behind your spine leaving you at a semi-recumbent position on the bed.  He leant over, his head bowed and his shoulders stumped, a complete contradiction to the man you knew.  You were not so sure what to make of this set of findings; he looked oddly vulnerable, and suddenly so very young looking for once.  Too fragile for the golden crown that decorated his pale brow.

“This is all very new to me Pet.”

Was it guidance he asked for, because if so parenthood was hardly something you had any experience of yourself.  The idea of child birth was terrifying and he expected you to do it twice in succession, and without him there to protect you from any mishaps.  You wanted to lash out again, to try and give him some idea of how guilty and afraid you felt.  To force him to feel even a fraction of the pain and uncertainty you did.  It was too much to ask to see the face of his humanity though, it was buried too deeply under his iron clad heart.

“I wish I could convince you all that I mean you no harm; when all you see, all they see is a monster ready destroy you.”

He waved his hand to your stomach, the contents there the real reason to his cleverly worded lies.  You could be as frightened of him as he wanted, they could not if he wanted them to accept him as their father.  This was why he hadn’t touched you in so long, why he no longer made any attempts to force you to fuck him; he didn’t want to upset them.  You still mattered only as a vessel for his seed.  The stark reality left you speechless by your shock.  Eager to break the dismissive silence, your lip unable to continue its path into a scowl.  Neither your children, nor Ren had ever shared any fear of their possible father with you; but someone clearly had with Hux.  You shook your head, more from a tremor of over worked shoulder muscles than a denial of this latest tit-bit of information.  It was another failing on his behalf that they pledged their loyalty to their mother.  No wonder you were being moved to another place; he wanted you out of the picture.  Eventually you found your voice; though you didn’t tell him you had guessed his plans and playing dumber than you were you begged him clemency.  He could let you go, you managed to suggest.  Free them from their duty and the dangers that surrounded them here.

“I can’t, there is nowhere you would be safe alone.  You bargain for more than your own freedom here.”

He leaned over your stomach to stress what he meant, and you allowed him to touch you there.  Watching as he pressed the first kiss you had allowed him over your stomach.  He trailed more over your clothed mound of flesh, the action far gentler and far more soothing than you would have expected.  Perhaps the gentleness was your reward for not fighting.  He crooned a low pitched hum, both hands cupping your vast swelling.  Their weight made it difficult to move, to express any discomfort at his touch and so you just accepted it. 

A weird jerk inside you and the shiver that followed the leather pads as they trailed up made him look up to you.  He didn’t understand, he was frightened he had upset them you realised.  His eyes wild as he breathed fast shallow breaths; he needed guidance you realised.  As his hand sprung back from you into a closed claw, you could almost laugh his whole persona tonight had been different; almost odd.  Your breathing started, making you realise your breath had hitched, not from fear of his sudden move but relief at theirs.  They had finally moved.  You were elated, but the man above you looked poised ready to destroy that happiness with his nervous miss understanding.  Snatching quickly for a gloved hand, you pulled the leather covering off him, before he could return to any formal stiffness.  They needed reassurance as much as he did, that he wasn’t going to hurt him.  You couldn’t be sure but you guessed they had sensed their own revulsion.  This was not how you needed them to think of the man responsible for their safety.  They needed to be able to run to their father.  Tears gathered, you cried too much you decided though this time there was a tinge of happiness to them.  You were an emotional wreak, a mess of hormones and mixed feelings; all of them wrapped up in misunderstanding your own needs.  You didn’t want to do this alone, there was four more months of this and it was too much to bare.  Even next to the man who kept you, it was still so isolating.  Not sure why you were insisting on sharing such a momentous occasion with him, you lifted back the sheets and medical gown.  Preparing to drop your shields; you needed to share this with somebody.  There had to be more than just you who remembered this.  Another thud and you concentrated on that to placed his palm over the source.  His hand was warmer than you expected and far more supple in their languid grasp; as he instinctively cupped the source of the commotion beneath your skin.  He gasped, had he too been holding his breath.  He took his time to explore them; this time without the leather he could better feel the subtle movements beneath your skin, the tell tail signs of where each twin nested. 

“Have you never felt? did you think?”

You wanted to ask him if he hadn’t guessed the movements to be his babies when they had started, or if he thought them a more personal request to get off you.  Either way you didn’t allow yourself to continue; trailing off into silence; punctuated by deep breaths.  It was hardly as though you were the expert on what they were doing either.  They could just be innocently moving; this might not be a small attempt to back up your feelings towards this man.  Hux shook his head, mouthing a silent ‘no’ without looking at you; his cheeks warming.  He was embarrassed by feelings; did he think then that your love for them made you weaker.  Would that be the final thing he wrestled from you, to claim superiority?  A final parting lesson to you, for caring; that would teach you better the next time.  His gaze was all for your stomach, a movement you hoped would reflect in his treatment of the contents.  He could punish you for your fear of him, but please you silently begged leave them alone.  

A smile twisted the fullness of his lips.  His mouth held almost in wonderment as he followed the source of the ripples; over your stomach.  Inside you could feel their tiny twists and turns, almost as though they were making up for their pervious sedentariness by organising their own party.  Would he be this enamoured with the final product, was he capable of the unconditional love they needed?  His set example didn’t seem to be so good, and already he had admitted his taint; his bastardry.  A moments shudder of fear took you, would he allow his own father to spoil what was so pure, with his own drives?  Would your children scramble desperately to make a desperate purchase on their father’s regards as he did his?  What had happened to his mother, to make her leave him with his father.  What could possibly drive a woman to give up her children; you knew you couldn’t?    

Gradually their movements ceased.  The mini dance they had been performing inside you over, though Hux seemed reluctant to return to his chair.  You yawned, making a show of changing positions.  Accepting Hux’s help to do so in the hope that he was getting the message that you wished now to sleep.  He didn’t, or maybe he just chose to employ the same tactics he always had and ignore your wishes, setting down at your back. 

The lights dimmed as he shuffled up into your spine.  There wasn’t really enough room for one, let alone the added occupants.  It was warm, and Hux gave the order to decrease the temperature on the ever-present air-conditioning.  It must have been too chilly for him, but he seemed not to notice, not even a shiver.  His hands where once more on you, hooked around what should have been your waist if you still had one; cupping your belly.  He was dangerously obsessed with it, and he needed to back off; they were yours and not his.  You had nearly grown lethargic enough to sleep when he spoke again.   

“I am not a fool Pet; you will try and run again.  Not now maybe, but there will come a day when you try again.  Please if you do it, if you succeed please don’t leave them.”   

You gasped; he really had no idea to suggest that you would run and leave your children.  He truly had no idea of family loyalties, or the depth of love you already had for your girls.  There was no way you were running without them.  No way this would happen willingly.  His kisses returned; open mouthed.  In the dim light you could make out his eyes; closed to you and the room, his breath warm as it shuddered over you bump.  There was a touch of something there, almost as though it was a story, as start to understanding his cruelty.  It was almost too much, though you spoke, your words a quiet whisper your thudding heart almost drowned out.  

“You want me to stay with them; you won’t take them from me?”  

You tensed, aware you had allowed yourself something that for so long you had denied yourself; hope.  This could all come crashing down, your question could still prove to be an almost misstep to your pride. 

“You will mother my heirs Kitten, to do that of course they will need you to be around.”

Impossibly your heart thudded louder at his admission.  The deep breath of relief you took to steady yourself made him startle, leaning up to hook your chin back to him.  He always looked softer in the dark, his eyes somehow larger and more expressive; as though he though the low lighting hid them from you.  His tongue wet the seam of his lips, taking a moment more to look down at you in consternation, panic creeping into his next set of words. 

“Did you think in some way I would take them from you?  No, they are yours as much as they are ours.  A child needs its mother Pet, they will need you for a long time yet.”

You frowned taking it all, trying to work it all out; as you settled back to try and sleep.  He feared you leaving them more than he did losing them to you.  Was that a show of belying his assumptions that their sex did not matter to him, or was it an attempt at him showing he could be unselfish for once?  He stayed watching you a little while longer before he settled down next to you again.

“I am making plans Pet, you must be sent somewhere distant until I have dealt with everything that threatens you.”

So typical of him; to address the problem in a manner that gave him the least stress.  Did you even want to be sent away?  Realistically, it was the attentions of the two men who hurt you; that also guarded your unborn children.  Without Hux to daily over see your wellbeing and Ren’s force abilities, how would you survive?  More importantly how would your babies make it?  It was still early days and lots could go wrong.  You needed to be nearby Ren, you needed his Force-sensitivities.  Where could the Emperor send you that would go unnoticed by those who wished to harm you.  Couldn’t he let you take Ren too?  How would he pick the supposed place of safety he was planning on sending you to?  How much safer was it to take the babies away from his court, and his First Order? 

“How long?” 

Your words were succinct, and without preamble.  If he was sincere in his promises to keep you with your children, you would need to get used to discussing them with him.  You wouldn’t be his equal, but you needed to be privy to his plans for them; you would need to work with him for this.  Or would you, he had already asked you not to leave them, did that mean there would be more chances to escape?  You had meant for how long had you to stay away.  and you suspected he knew that.  His answer though was to give you a time scale of how soon he had before he could move you.  He was stalling, there was no way he had misunderstood your intentions, he was too perceptive.

Apparently; more transport ships had to be booked.  Decoys would be used to send copies of you elsewhere.  Women who looked like you maybe, or would he just risk other pregnant women?  Would you even be coming back, or was he lying?  Was this to be the beginning of locking you away, and his denial that he would do that his way of prizing the children off you?  Almost you thought to challenge him with your suspicions, before realising it was safest that he didn’t know your planning’s.  You couldn’t trust him, and he couldn’t know that, this way he wouldn’t think to watch you so much.  How much did your children block Ren’s use of the Force; was it enough to give you an escape route? 

He willingly gave you more details of his plans.  The dark freeing his tongue; explaining to you that already two of your handmaidens were en-route, more would follow.  One was going to prepare the new dwellings the other deployed to deeper space to lead the would-be assassins off course.  A third had been used, though she hadn’t made it to her hyperspace destination.  You shuddered at that; the knowledge that another had died because of you.  Did he want to heap more death and destruction beneath your feet?  His solution was a like a knife to your heart and gut all at once.  How was this possibly for the best, where was he sending you now? 


	28. Chapter 28

_Light shone through your closed eyelids, a breathy voice in your ear teased you; moaning low murmurs of appreciation, your eyes closed tight despite the silk blindfold.  A tongue swiped your closed mouth, teasing your lips to open your own tongue chasing the teasing touch.  A bubble of laughter, low in someone’s chest as it pulled away; breath heavy on the moistened pillows of flesh.  You pouted; not at the laughter but the missing touch.  Trying to lift your hands to pull him back, discovering each wrist tangled in a soft binding of its own._

_You were tied naked; pinned to the bed.  The cotton sheets cool beneath your flushed skin, your body giving into the first stirrings of arousal.  A puff of minted breath and the mouth returned, the brush of soft curls against your neck as full lips sucked on the column of flesh there.  Teeth scraping over your shoulder, fingers itching to touch him to pull him tighter to you.  Another set of lips at your ear, the tongue flicking your lobe before pulling it back into your mouth.  Shuddering at the touch as much as the well-spoken, voice at your ear teasing you with filthy thoughts.  Your Emperor’s crisp correct tone so juxtaposed to his utterances.  Telling you in detail every filthy thing he would do to you.  Promising to make a mess of your pretty, little cunt.  Promising to make you scream in pleasure once they were done._

_“You want that Pet?”_

_You nodded your answer.  Forcing a breathy yes.  Your answer becoming an unintelligible moan that became a keening whine as you rolled your breasts up.  Pressing them firm to the giant above you, trying to enticingly rub them into the body weighted above you, your own innocent attempt at seduction.  A chuckle into your neck and the owner pressing their full weight down onto you, the rougher fabric, rubbing your nipples against the fastenings.  Ren; you realised, the knowledge of who was your clothed lover, leaving you calmer, yet bolder in your advances.   He moved higher, moaning into your mouth, as his mouth demanded a rough kiss off you.  His tongue sweeping back to take your entire mouth._

_The kiss ended as abruptly as it had begun.  Leaving your mouth empty and your body without it’s warm cover, your nipples pebbling to small boulders in the cool breeze of the chamber.  Hands came from nowhere, touching everywhere.  Making you gasp into the mouth that caught yours in a tender kiss, this one softer smaller as it worked to leave you breathless, squirming.  Fingers teased your already hard nipples to fervent tender peaks, as you panted in pleasure under their touch.  Thighs trying to squeeze closed, anything to give purchase on your slippery sex.  Begging for mercy from the owner of the hands that unnecessarily held your wrists pinned to the pillows._

_A drizzle of something sticky, syrupy smelling as it fell softly onto your mouth.  Trailing lower, a smell like honey permeating the already sex scented room adding to the sweetness that surrounded you.  More touches, mouths sweeping to follow the warm fluids.  The taste of honey exchanged with your saliva as the softer mouth took your lips again, moulding himself to what you wanted.  Feeding you a small taste of sugar, mixed with heady lust._

_The second mouth worked its way over your flattened stomach, gathering up the taste of honeyed skin as the kisses trailed lower.  A tongue swirling around your bellybutton to gather the drop that waited there for him, before it teased at your thighs.  You opened them willingly to the first nudge against your legs.  Suction that turned hard enough to leave marks applied to the sensitive skin there.  Fingers working the thousands of nerve endings that resided there as he worked to leave you buzzing with need.  His mouth only leaving you to lathe more kisses over the fragile skin of your inner legs._

_A mouth cupped your nipple, soft as the tongue worked harder over it.  Flicking it from side to side, before pulling the sensitive nub back between clamping teeth.  His grip firm but not biting down, more achieved by softness and no hint of pain in his intentions._

_Hot breath folded against your dripping lower lips.  The touch of a saliva slickened tongue swiping over them.  Innocuously working over them, your hips rolling as they worked to force the tongue to slip between them.  An amused no, and heavy hands pushed you into place.  Holding you to the mattress as it worked you into a writhing mess without yet pushing between them._

_It was a skilful mouth, and it worked hard to keep you on edge; tormenting you as it gave more pleasure than you could cope with.  Your breathing came ragged in your throat as you arched your spine.  Sweat beading down the passage between your breasts as you tried rolling your sex into the mouth playing with it.  Trying to make the tongue working it find purchase on your almost painful clit.  Opening your eyes under the blindfold at last to the coaxing mouth at your sex.  You begged, needing them to lessen the ball of need that lay heavy inside of your pelvis.  To give you something of what they teasingly offered._

_“Please, Ren.”_

_The coverlet over your eyes was removed at once, dissipating into nothing as though it had never been there.  Dark eyes smiled down at you, brushing aside the hair covering your cheek.  The early morning sunlight streamed through gauze lace curtains lining each immense window.  His voice was a husky laugh, to your own whimpering pleas to cum.  You blinked so sure it had been the other way around a second ago.  So sure it had been Ren’s mouth on your pussy, and Hux’s on your breasts.  It was no matter though, all that was important was the pleasure strumming your body.  The men playing you like a well-tuned instrument, plucking gasps and moan from you like strings on a harp.  Their bodies only concerned with making you hum with need._

_“Should he fuck you little Pet, shall we see if you can at least remember who’s cock it is, if you seem unable to recognise his mouth?”_

_He was all mock sternness as he spoke.  Eyes heavy with mirth, as he spoke watching the mop of ginger hair that moved between your thighs. The night’s sleep loosening it from its usually pristine placement.  You wanted to reply, but couldn’t your breath stolen from you as the tip of Hux’s expert tongue flicked into your folds.  Running up and around your clit before it slipped into the opening of your cunt hole.  Your back arched, frustrated moisture gathering at the corners of your eyes.  Ren’s fingers pinching over your nipples, mouth parting as he_

_All coherent thought was gone as another whimper caught in your throat, as the wet mouth left your pussy.  You wanted to complain at its loss before a chest pressed to yours.  Now naked and supple, pale and milky white with a splattering of burnt orange freckles.  Hands caught up in your hair, pulling your mouth to his, the taste of your slick on his lips as he pressed his lips to yours.  Fingers trailing lower, pulling your legs apart._

_The burning sting of a cock made you cry out in desperation.  Fingers suddenly freed to clutch at the hips that pressed firmly to the apex of your thighs, as it thrust into you in one.  Splitting you open in one, to burry himself deep inside of you.  Balls resting against your ass, as inside you his hot length pulsed and twitched in answer to your own clenches._

_Who moaned first you couldn’t tell, the mouth at your neck sucking purple bruises into it?  Or the man who leaned over you, head bent low to kiss you.  Mouths working your sweat soaked skin, tongues sweeping the salt taste of it._

_Hips rolled as he fucked you, the sex both hard and passionate.  Your pleas to cum replaced with their demands to do that, their eyes blown wild with the need to see you come undone.   A tangled mop of red hair as his mouth moved against your cheek.  His words full of praise for you as he rubbed his cheek into yours; the night’s growth of stubble rasping the sensitive skin of your jaw bone.  Palms slammed either side of you, the thrusts relentless in their endeavours to be your undoing.  Ren knelt either side of your shoulders, his cock heavy with blood as he leaned over to cup his Emperor’s head, bringing his forehead close._

_Flesh rolled against flesh as you moved with the hips pumping you, whilst above you; the two men kissed.  Heated and full of every bit of passion they previously bestowed upon you.   Both their full lips pressed to one another, as Ren sought out every drop of remaining essence of you from Hux’s mouths.  It proved enough, keening as you gave into what had been your demands to let go.  Their kiss breaking.  Lidded eyes watching your open-mouthed cry, as you shattered around the thick cock inside of you._

You where half way to the destination planet’s surface when you woke with a jumped start.  Jostled awake by heavy vibrations as the ship broke the atmosphere.  The dream was still fresh in your mind, and it was impossible to dismiss the effect its contents had had on you. You were completely horrified at the tingling pulse of your sex, and appalled with yourself.  More than just your sleep-self had orgasmed and your panties were flooded with slickened cum.  It was disgusting to think that even in your sleep they could touch you, and you would still enjoy it.  There were raised voices coming from the small cockpit and if it hadn’t had been for that commotion; you would have tried to suggest it had been Ren’s doing.

Hux was somewhere in the shuttle’s cock pit with Ren.  Loudly arguing with Ren that he knew bloody well how to fly this thing if he would just let him be.  Was this how they had spent the war you wondered, they always seemed so unstable as a couple when they argued.  Their heated discussion making you glad you were traveling back in the passenger area of the small shuttle.  Highlighting just one of the problems with two alpha males working together. 

They had thought it necessary to fetch you to the planet themselves, and from there they would ferry you onwards.  Neither man wanted to entrust anyone else to travel with you to Hux’s chosen place of safety.  Taking leave from their busy lives to make the journey with you; to carry you here in their personal shuttle.  This one smaller than the sleek First Order vehicle appropriated for the Emperor’s state trips. 

Hux had waited for the pain in your hip to lessen before he would move you, though why the sudden rush you couldn’t understand.  Was it that the medical staff now knew of your pregnancy, surely as his trained troops they were loyal only to him?  Bedrest had been ordered for you to heal, and the bacta treatment had helped, for all it was only a bruise to the bone; it was still very painful. 

It had been another seven standard cycles since your first trip to the medicenter, before Hux allowed you back into his chambers.  It had been an odd sort of week; filled with prodding and poking.  The medical examinations and tests you had been subjected to, not as welcome or comforting as you had thought they would be.  There had been so many, almost as though they had demanded the five months-worth of tests all at once.  Your babies were fine though, and your pregnancy progressing as though a textbook example of such an event.  One twin larger than the other, but that was entirely to be expected as a possibility; especially with fraternal twins.  He had wanted to make sure you were stable before he moved you, a lot of effort over just a bruised bone.  The extra two weeks brought you close to twenty-three weeks pregnant now. 

Already you were huge and didn’t see how you could possibly get much larger, but you would you supposed.  There was another three months to go, if you carried to term.  Your ankles were swollen almost beyond recognition, and your back constantly ached.  At least you were finally allowed to be seen as pregnant, allowances and alternations at last allowed into your daily routine now it was no longer a secret.  This was good, how it had lasted so long you didn’t know, you’d been so round for so long that people must have guessed.  The concubine already knew something about you, clearly Hux’s plan for secrecy didn’t work in his palace.  It was a prime example of how the man failed sometimes to control everything, no matter how hard he tried to.  There where elements he couldn’t plan for, that woman for one.  She had taunted you with how disobedient and unruly Hux found you, but it was ultimately her who had acted out of character.  She had let him down, and attacked something he held dear; your babies.  Ren’s words that Hux kept that that he protected that that he cared for had proven true.  Ren had as always would have carried out the act, you knew by now that Hux didn’t like to dirty his hands.       

You had better control of your breathing and you were almost calm when Ren gave up his argument and ceded trying to wrest the navigational controls from Hux.  You were slowly coming down from the shame of your orgasm, though your face looked flushed still.  You breathed slowly taking deeper breaths to steady yourself.  His hulking form came sulking back into the passenger area, stomping dejectedly and moodily back to where you lay on your makeshift cot bed.  Which man was the better pilot you weren’t sure, but you would rather they didn’t battle it out with you on board.  It was unnerving to be around either man in his heated state of anger, but two of them together was just too unpredictable.      

He looked down at your recumbent form before sitting down next to you on the side of the cot bed.  His body tilted, so he could sit facing you.  You drew yourself up, resting your back to the durasteel panel behind your head.  Ren took another moment to study you, his eyes narrowing.  He slid a finger under your chin, tilting his head to study you.  He was suspicious, and whilst your Force-sensitive child hid your thoughts, Ren could still read the emotions painted across your face.  He knew what had happened. Stupidly you speedily blinked, striving to keep your face free of guilt.  It was just an open admittance of guilt to him, and you knew you had failed miserably to look calm, when your cheeks reddened at his smirk. 

“Aroused Pet?”

It was the shuddering as you entered the atmosphere you protested in quickly spluttered indignation.  Your embarrassment only furthering the man’s amusement at your plight.  The man’s words dripped with sarcasm as he taunted you with his findings. 

“Do you need fucking Pet?”

His voice was husky and each word of it vibrated inside your heated core.  It was hard not to bite your lip and nod in admittance that you did.  From having never had sex to it being forced on you all the time, your body hadn’t learnt to cope with its own needs.  Hux had seen to stripping it of them, and replacing them with his own needs.  You gripped at your palms, digging your nails into your palm to ground yourself.  Eyes wide you watched his head dip a little, leaning closer to you     

Your body wanted you to give in, and almost you swallowed your pride to accept their advances.  Would it be so bad to accept what they had forced you to become?  You were both lonely and alone, two similar words that to you had miles of difference to them.  Each day they taunted you with their closeness, the intimacy you denied yourself while you grew rounder with the product of what you had once.  You had hated it, and were better off without it you told yourself as indignantly you pushed away his face.   Neither man had made a play for any sexual advances, though one or the other often slept next to you now.  It would to your reluctance to admit it, make sleeping alone very different now.  Had this then happened before you wondered, with a panicked start.  Your pregnancy kept you in an almost constant state of arousal, had you previously dreamed of fucking them? 

The extra blood swarming the nerve endings of you sex leaving you wet, and the cause of that making it uncomfortable to reach to end it.  You were pale with the thought that they could have seen this before.  That Ren could have dipped into your turbulent slumber and risked seeing what your dreamt of.  He laughed, which for all its discomfort settled you a little.  He was too pleased with his findings, if he knew more he wouldn’t have held back.  You were cross, and you didn’t feel the need to hide it from him.  You spoke your anger made tremulous by your hormones, leaving your voice almost a croaking sob that just begged him to leave you alone.  Silence fell like a curtain and you dropped your gaze, you had wanted to sound more forceful.  You had failed to add the definite tone you had wanted to your refusal.  If he pushed he would know you would crumble, and a part of you still was not happy with that. 

A moment’s pause in the silence, a sigh and then the rustling of heavy armoured fabrics.  Ren striding back to the cockpit.  The more functional battle robes he wore for this task streaming behind him.  The uniform more reminiscent of the uniform he wore during the wars, the tunic pleated like the one he had worn in the battle you had been captured during.  You had been set to guard one of the medibays on the remaining ship.  General Organa had been severely injured and the medics working on saving her when Kylo Ren had burst in sabre drawn.  You had tried as much as everyone else.  But nobody could keep him away from the medics and one by one he had slaughtered them, before turning his inhuman mask and his sabre-blade onto his mother.  There was no mask to go with the robes this time, no reason to hide his face from the galaxy.  Whatever demons he had hidden behind it were long since vanquished.  Had they held the last of his humanity in them, when they left did they strip him of any of the morals he had ever had, and in their wake left you the man who had instead stolen your virtue.  For all he was never the orchestrator of your demise, he took as much delight as Hux in teasing you for what was left of your innocence.

Moments became an hour and you regained your composure, though neither man came to you as they flew on across the planets surface.  Still cross; you wished they would, if only to assuage your temper; to say that which your swelling throat had prevented you from.  If it hadn’t of been for the unsteadiness of your gait and the weight of the twins, you would have gone to demand they listen.  You had no wish for lust filled dreams, they pushed you enough in you waking moments.

Of late your sleep pattern had been interesting, and at best described as non-existent.  The two wiggling bodies inside of you made it difficult to sleep at night.  Leaving your days filled with exhaustion, and your dreams becoming more and more random.  Your hip wasn’t entirely better yet; it still hurt from time to time and so Hux was not letting you walk around on it.  You didn’t need his over bearing concern, for his incubator and nanny; physically you felt better than he gave you credit for. 

A clearing of someone’s throat and you looked up.  The grey garbed figure of the Emperor stood over you, his eyes searching as they looked over you.

“Ren advised you needed a drink?”

You could have happily rolled your eyes at the ginger.  His arm outstretched as he offered you a bottle of water.  He stood apparently oblivious to Ren’s discovery, though you knew full well that his gentle demeaner could all be an act.  For someone who had treated you so poorly; he at least still seemed to understand the importance of not braking his toys.  You slept when you could now, allowed by your captor to sleep according to your bodies needs.  Though even then; your dreams were becoming more and more focused on Ren and Hux.  You didn’t understand it, and you resented your unconsciousness being invaded by them, more than the daily tabs they kept on you.  Hux demanding you were close as much as possible.  Reluctant to leave you alone, even if it was with Ren.  Spending and increasing amount of time, working from within his office or chambers.      

You took the water and unscrewed the top.  You were thirsty, apart from the meal before you had left, you had not drunk a lot.  Nor in all the commotion and secrecy of the journey had you been encouraged to do so.  The shuttle had hit turbulence, battered by the storms outside and you knew the minute you had finished drinking; it had increased your need to run for the toilet.  You could ask for assistance, but hated the thought of Hux watching you pee.  Legs crossed as best as you could, your squeezed your thighs together clenching against the need to use the refresher.  The need to go was only getting worse, the tension almost burning your teeth clenched tight.  It was stupid to hope that you could make it to the end of the journey.  That if you could just doze off maybe Ren would be landing soon, or at least out of the turbulent patch of atmosphere. 

Hux was not a man to be easily fooled though, nor after all this time was he oblivious to your body.  A huff and you could hear the irritation as he ordered you to use the refresher.  Not so much cross as confused at why you hadn’t gone, calling you silly as he pulled back the blanket covering you. 

Naturally he had already worked out you were fidgeting, and deduced why.  He was much too perspective, and you were watched far too much.  At first you thought about pretending you hadn’t heard him, or telling him he was wrong; that you didn’t need to go to the refresher.  Neither were a good idea though.  Hux would never back down from an argument.  He would most likely contrive a clever little plan to have you wet yourself just to prove a point.  He would prove his whore’s words right; that you were unsuitable to be seen in public with him.  You moved slowly; accepting the arm he offered you to lead you into the shuttles very small refresher.

It proved easier to hold onto him until inside the small box room that housed the toilet and sink. A palm flat to the walls either side of you, to anchor onto something.  Wishing you had something more steady than the smooth walls to hold onto; whilst he lifted the skirt to your traveling gown.  Ignoring what you knew he would find as you felt his fingers hooking into the waist band of your panties, to lower them.  Telling you as he helped you to sit; that this was a lot easier in the earlier days, when he forbade you to wear underwear.  As though to prove a point he completely lowered the pants pulling them gently from your ankles.

“What where you dreaming of Kitten?”

His voice was quiet and you could hear the amazement in it.  You thought at first he was making a crude jest to the constant state of arousal you were in.  He put the panties into the sink, running water over a wash cloth and adding soap.  You looked up to address the taunt that was coming.  Ready to shout your answers to the questions to come, at him.  Already furious with the crudeness you could almost feel bubbling in the room.  There was for once no hint of arousal in his eyes, nothing to suggest that he was implying anything sexual as he stood cloth in hand.

“I need to clean you, stand up Kitten.”

You swallowed and stood lifting your skirts to allow him to clean your slick matted sex.  There was no way you could manage to do this properly yourself and it would feel so much better to be clean.

“Did you enjoy it Pet?”

Your thoughts came back into focus, from the oblivion you had sent them into as Hux had washed and rinsed the soap from your sex.  His fingers covered by both leather and towelling cloth has still seemed to burn lust and repulsion into your body.  Now he nonchalantly asked as he disposed of the cloth in the waste compactor if you had enjoyed your sex fuelled dream.  It would be lying to say no, and he would know straight off if you did.  The dream could have been about anyone and so you nodded, his face delighted with you when a gentle pink blush heated your cheeks.

“Pet it was only a dream, nothing to get embarrassed about.  Though the Maker alone knows you look adorable like this.”

He had helped you back into your resting spot.  You were this time clipped into a safety harness, you would be landing soon you gathered.  The Emperor stroked each strap to ensure you would be held safe as the ship made a hard bank to one side, then began a steeper decent down.  You were coming into land then, soon you would be planet side again.  This time somewhere new, another prison they had been creating for you.  Hux slid into a chair opposite taking your hand, speaking in the same calm tone he used lately.  No doubt desperate given Ren’s findings of their protectiveness to ingratiate himself with his future offspring.

“A few days at my family home.  Then I will move you to where nobody will touch you I do not allow.  You will be protected and you will be safe; until I find the last of these criminals.”

You nodded, more to dismiss him than in agreement.  The quicker you acknowledged his bravado, the sooner he moved on.  Ren would need a co-pilot to land the ship, and Hux left you.  Kissing your head as he moved away, leaving you puzzled.  Weeks ago he would have fucked you senseless for the mess you had made in your panties, now he strove to appear calm and accepting.  It was odd, and you wondered why it upset you this much.  It wasn’t you protested ardently to yourself that you missed his touch, or the sex.  It was just that this was unusual behaviour for him.


	29. Chapter 29

It was raining, something Arabella had previously warned you it did a lot on her home planet of Arkanis.  The same planet Hux had chosen as safest for you to spend your exile on.  It was miserable and cold; you could understand why Hux had such a stick up his arse, already it seemed to be leeching the happiness out of you.  The ship had landed smoothly, and it had been Hux that escorted you down the slippery ramp to the landing bay.  The family home was not exactly small, though it was nothing to compare in size to the palaces on Naboo.  Hux had wrapped you up in a long coat for the short journey from the launch pad in the gardens, but still you shivered.  The wind icy cold whipped the loose tendrils of your hair across your face.  The strong breeze threatening to pull it all loose of its pins, as the small gale buffered you.  It seemed to push against you as you walked, adding to weight you already had to carry.  Stealing the air from your lungs and making it harder to breath as you strove forwards.  No servants came to meet you, or offer you aid to shelter as you took the small walk.  Hux keeping the pace slow and steady, neither trying to rush you nor allowing you to rest. The sky’s overhead where dull and tumultuous with grey writhing clouds, a world of difference to the clear sunny skies of Naboo.

The ground was paved, with huge stone slabs.  Water seeping between the cracks and running off into small rivulets that meandered across the flower beds encircling the launch pad.   Your cheeks red and stinging, as you made your way slowly up a final set of stone stairs to the house.  The walk had exhausted you far more than you realised, your knees shaky as Hux sat you down on a cloakroom bench to remove your coat.  Ren appearing with soft slippers to replace the boots you had been laced into for the journey.  Shoes more often than not hurt now, and you were grateful as Hux removed the shoes, pausing before setting aside the house slippers.  Your ankles were understandably swollen, the effects of the altitude as much as anything else.  Both men leant to massage a calf and puffy ankle apiece, both quickly removing the excess fluids under your skin in a show of concern, before slipping the warm, woollen house shoes onto your feet. 

Ren had already done a Force search of the house for its usual occupants.  He must have deemed it safe for you to enter, or else you would not be here.  Hux listened to his Hound, his own safety he might dismiss, but on yours he was taking no chances.  Nobody had arrived to greet you, which made you confused, were there only servants were currently at home? And if so, why had they not appeared to greet their guests?

You knew his father shouldn’t be at home, subtly you had worked that one out from listening in on meetings.  Brendol Hux had been sent away, he should not even be currently on the planet.  Hux had sent him off on matters of state, off to investigate a small group of possible dissenters.  Ones that had fortunately for you; made their current base on the city-planet of Coruscant.  It was good not to be around the horrible man, and to have him away from your babies.    You were clever enough by now; to work out that Hux was too jealous to be able to use loaning you to his father as a threat anymore.  The only person he would ever allow you to be shared with was Ren. 

You would not be touched by another now, Hux far more possessive of you than you would have thought him possible of.  Hux no longer made threats to send you to his father, nor anyone else for that matter. Brendol Hux’s refusal to accept his son’s superiority to him, scared you, but not as much as his son’s refusal to just get rid of him.  Brendol had made no more threats on your children’s safety, though you doubted it meant they were safe from him.  Why then hadn’t Hux Jr had the common sense to remove the threat, he did so with the others no matter how small.  Perhaps you thought with a savage and bitter thought, the man really had weaknesses; his father being one.

Arabella; you hoped, should be at home though.  This was after all her abode when not at the palace.  Did that also mean her children lived here also?  It seemed a dismal place for Hux’s nephew and nieces to spend their childhood.  Though perhaps it was different for them?  As you understood it; with her mother gone, and her father and brother away more often than not, the family home was more hers now than anyone else’s.  Perhaps as she saw to the day to day running of the place, it would be more cheerful once people were about.  And since her children were a permanent fixture to it, more lively than it felt right now.

Clipped footsteps were the first sign that anyone was about; followed by the rustling of skirts.  Servants you quickly deduced by Ren’s calmness, his sabre would have been long drawn if he thought there a risk here.  Hux remained silent, as took your hand to help you up.  Giving you a moment before he began walking.  The slippers much more comfortable, far less constricting than the boots you had worn for deep space travel. 

He led you from the small side corridor into a large white stone clad entrance hall.  The main entrance to the building you realised the one he should have officially used.  It must then have been a servant’s corridor he had lead you into.  Odd that the Emperor of the known galaxy, used this and not the front door.  The noises grew louder here, as did an odd sensation of there being more people.  You could finally make out voices chatting as he led you across the stone floor, and up the stairs.  The house finally becoming more lively. 

Servants and service droids moved aside as you passed them.  None challenging Hux for his right to be here; maybe they had after all been expecting him?  They disappeared where they could, or failing that dropped low bows and curtsies.  Eyes to the floor.  Not daring to look at their Emperor or Ren, sparing you the briefest of glances before they rushed off, doubtless to gloat at having seen his pregnant whore.  A cough made you realise you had slowed to an unacceptable pace, Hux scowling as he waited for you to catch up with him.  You didn’t need him to remind you to ‘know your place’ at the last gawping onlooker.  You were supposed to be beneath their notice, and behaved accordingly as such.  Scuttling past them, knowing you simply provided more gossip to be passed down the ranks.   

You were lead to a huge, polished, redwood, door somewhere at the back of the first-floor landing.  The heavy wood swinging open smoothly to reveal a small sitting room, a series of other smaller doors leading off it.  This was to be where you stayed whilst here you realised, the rooms far too costly to have been acceded to a whore.  The series of interlocked rooms more appropriate to a lady guest that a prisoner.  

Hux seemed eager to be gone, Ren not even bothering to assist you up the stairs.  He seemed filled with a nervous energy, one a stranger would have struggled to sense.  But you had been around him too long now; the effects contained and neutralised by his megalomaniac tendencies but it was there.  He checked over the rooms for you, finding it secure enough for his liking before returning to you.      

There was a fire lit in the grate, and you huddled closer to it.  The brightness as welcome as the heat, on this dull frigid world.  Hux took a moment to watch you, removing his overcoat, but leaving his gloves on to summon an attendant for you. 

“Ren tells me my father may return whilst you are here.  If he does, unless something comes directly from Arabella you do not accept it.  You are still at risk here.  If something upsets you, find myself or Ren.  Failing that Arabella or one of the Deathtroopers; they can be trusted.”

His voice was noticeably tighter, despite the clipped warning.  He moved closer, tilting your chin up as though there was more to say.  His thumb ran your lip, leaving it tingling in its passage, your mouth dry and unsure.  He swallowed hard, as a hand splayed to the back of your shoulder blades.  All his bravado made you nervous, and you wished he would just be honest about what worried him.  Did his warning about his father mean you should expect to see him?  Was Hux accepting that he would be the real threat here, in his home-world?  A small pull and you were tighter to him, his eyes closing as his cheek pressed to yours, breathing in deep.

His fingers brushed the back of your neck, catching over the metal of your collar.  Running the fingers over the clasp at the back.  You had never been able to work out where the lock to it was, let alone how to open it.  You shivered, and not from the cold.  Already you were acclimatising to the colder planet; though being sandwiched between him and the open fire helped. 

“Would you like me to remove it?”    

You had kept your gaze fixated on a patch of his embroidered epaulets.  Now you looked quickly up at him for guidance.  For so long that collar had been the only thing keeping you safe, and now did he want to remove it?  There were no clues, and so you shook your head.  The blue in his eyes softening to a grey-green colour, before he kissed your forehead.  It scared you more than you could comprehend to be without that safety blanket.  You couldn’t begin to think why he offered to remove it, knowing that you would be exiled without it 

“Good; it leaves you easily recognisable as mine.  Should it be removed though, your locator chip sits under it.  They feed more than just your location back to me, if you are in danger I will know.”

You had known you had chips fitted, all First Order prisoners had them implanted on capture.  You hadn’t realised how extensive they were.  It made sense though, it would help to monitor you all during torture.  That he was telling you how to locate it for removal thought, reminded you of his earlier request; that if you ran you took the infants with you.  You frowned not sure why he was preparing you for this possibility, it was almost as though he planned for something.  He had never told you the place you would be leaving here for, just that he would take you to it.    

He seemed reluctant to let you go, though you knew the attendant would arrive soon.  Hux had placed you in enough compromising situations to realise that he couldn’t allow himself to be seen weak.  He spent the last moments checking over the room once more as he held you.  Curling his head to kiss you; feigning confidence as he nervously watched you as he moved away.  Something was bothering him, something he was doing his best to pretend wasn’t.  This small interaction held so many clues, if only you knew more how to put them together.  He moved to sit, his actions that of a leisurely gentleman; careless and unattached as he poised in a chair.  This too was an act, and you had almost decided to ask what was troubling him, when a knock came to the door.  A loud yes from the seated Emperor and a figure slipped through it, a youngish woman; similar in appearance to you. 

It was a handmaiden you didn’t recognise, and she bobbed a curtsy to the room.  It seemed that he was familiar to Hux though as he greeted her with instructions.  It made you wonder if she had been somehow surgically altered to look like you, before her dismissal here.  If you looked closer would you too recognise her?

She was followed quickly by another; this one you did recognise.  Her face completely unaltered, as were her mannerisms.  She was to be overseer here too you realised with a plummeting heart.  Astrid hated you, you were sure of that, she would be your final guard then.  Hux gave orders that you were to be ready for a meal that evening.  Astrid nodding; her demeanour servile until she was alone with you.  Gone was the obedient nod for her Emperor.  Replaced with the more familiar sneer of annoyance at you.  She ordered a bath ran, and ushered you into the refresher attached to one of the bedrooms the moment Hux had left.  His last suggestion to you, had been to advise you to take a long bath to warm up before the evening’s meal.  Something Astrid was all too eager to push you into.  What was meant as a quick method to both warm you up, and to allow you freshen up after the time spent in hyperspace; was not to be.  Astrid was not about to allow you any time to find it relaxing in any way, just another ritual of preening you for her ruler. 

She knew you wouldn’t tell Hux she had ignored his suggestion to take things slowly.  You hadn’t already complained about her rough treatment, so what was one more show of it.  You knew she wasn’t outright defying him; this had been an idea and not an order.  She was an intelligent woman complaining wouldn’t work.  It would make you look weak, and it would be simple for her to successfully play it off as your fault.  She knew how to make her distaste for you known in such a way that your complaints would look childish to Hux and be seen as a waste of his time sorting.  

There was never any sympathy or kindness from her.   Just a perfunctory acknowledgment of the extra care Hux demanded for you in this position.  You would have thought you had asked for this, that you made her care for you, from the way she pulled you around.  As though you had let people down, by your body forcing on itself the result of his constant rape.  She offered you no hint of leniency for the tasks you could no longer manage, as she prodded and poked at your hypersensitive body.  If it was possible, she seemed to think less of you for being in this condition, and it her job to punish you for it. 

What you suspected was intended as a slow relaxing activity by Hux, became a flurry of hurried activity.  Astrid instructing the attendants to hurry, as she worked at pulling clothing choices from already packed wardrobes.  Dressing you appropriately for your station, but perhaps not the weather.  The material was a thick and soft velvety fabric.  Long flowing skirts in a deep burgundy colour, the neckline cut low and shoulders bared to display your slave collar.  A silver band was added to your head, and weighted earrings.  The collar almost welded to your neck by now sparkled on your shoulders.  You touched the decorative loops and whorls of it, tracing over the low drops of it where it graced the tops of your breasts.  It was beautiful for all it was a mark of Hux’s ownership of you; one that you would by now feel more naked without than clothing.  it had to be heavy, but now it felt almost weightless in its familiarity, it’s elaborate design a brand on your skin.  You were the man’s possession, and for all of its decorative extravagance, it’s meaning was simple; mine.  With that went some measure of protections from others.  You were his prisoner, but it sent a simple message to all who would seek to do your children harm.  You were his possession now and you doubted the penalty for another touching that which belonged to him unbidden, would be anything short of death.   

Dressed you were left alone.  Ordered to sit and wait in the sitting room, not even a book to occupy yourself.  Just the slow ticking of the chronometer above the fireplace to keep you company.  The rain, and gathering dusk made looking out of the window pointless.  The light reflecting your image back at you in the raindrop smeared, glass panel.  You looked beautiful, the first time in a long while you had been shown to your full potential.  Some small amounts of cosmetics had been applied to your face, a suggestion then that there would be more than just Arabella at tonight’s dinner.  Your hair was pinned off your neck and a dusting of subtle perfume applied to your skin.  Your hair glistening, from the added weight of the extra strands, and the pregnancy hormones.  Your eyes nowhere near as decadently kohled as your pre-pregnancy days, but beautiful all the same.  As cruel as she was to you, Astrid never failed to make sure you looked stunning.       

 

You sighed pulling away from your reflection, and the outside.  It was obviously still raining, and that hid any chances of you seeing the stars.  It was boring to sit doing nothing, after being allowed to do more with your time.  The second stroll around the room ended in you nearly tripping, and you thought it better to sit.  Returning to the seat closest to the fire, you waited.

The room was chilly on your shoulders and upper back.  The plunging neckline was cut to display the silver collar and not for warmth.  For some reason, you were gripped by a sense of impending sadness; your tear ducts threatening to fill and spill over your freshly made up face, ruining Astrid’s hard work.   Either your hormones were all over the place again.  Or there was something else in the air; a heavy feeling that made you realise that Hux was likely up to something.  Clearly, he had fetched you here to display you before he sent you into hiding.  This would be your last known place, before you disappeared.   It was also the home of the man who wished to harm you wasn’t it?  Hardly the mark of a man who wished to keep you safe.  Again, this another contradiction of sorts, from the man who valued you only for your reproductive values.  Couldn’t he have skipped this and had you holed you up somewhere by now; did he have to show you off before you went away? 

You wrapped your arms around yourself, debating briefly if you had time to get into bed for a quick sleep.  It was going to be very different without the two of them.  They had striven to make themselves your only companions in this new life Hux had carved out for you.  Already the idea of being without them was scary, making you wonder how you would manage.  What of the lack of company, and structured conversation?  Life was going to be lonely without him, and worrying if Astrid was going with you even more lonely.  She would not take the time to stoop to your level and converse with you.  Nor would she be able to offer the subtle touches Hux had conditioned you to enjoy this last month or so.  Already you should be reconditioning yourself to sleep alone.  There would be nobody to help you reach things in the night, or to stroke soothing circles into your back before you slept.  If she did accompany you; you just hoped her pettiness only ran to shallow digs, and pinches.  Surely Hux would have had her vetted and removed if she really meant you any real harm?  

It had been a long day, and you were grateful when the summons came for your evening meal.  A protocol droid assisting you down the stair; and into the warmed sitting room where the other occupants waited.  You were quick to spot Hux off to one side, smoking death-sticks in an open patio window.  The brisk wind taking with it the harmful smoke, though you would doubtless still smell it on him later.  The talk that went on over your head made you uneasy, and you wished he would return and order you to curl unnoticed at his feet again.  Ren was nowhere to be seen, so you knew he was not about to rescue you from the side wards stares and sneers that painted the handful of guests’ faces.  Arabella noticed you first, her gaze turning towards her brother where he rested his back to the open window; before walking over to you.  The protocol droid followed until it was curtly dismissed by Arabella, ordering it back to wait in a more suitable place.  A frown making you wonder if you should have known to do that yourself.  She led you slowly through the crowds, mostly men you realised, all of them snatching looks at the swell of your stomach. 

Your hands clasped it protectively, around the swell of your stomach; a glance in a passing mirror letting you know just how pregnant you looked.  On a normal pregnancy, you would have looked full term, and had this of been a normal pregnancy you could have excused their scowls as concern for how close you were to your time.   This wasn’t though; and with all the earlier threats, you drew in on yourself, aware that any of them could seek to do you harm.  You hadn’t realised how quiet the room had become, until the patio door slammed shut.  Hux returning to the party, and snatching you from Arabella placing his arm around your back. 

He was pleased to display you like this, you realised.  His breathless promises to display you pregnant and bare footed at his throne, almost come to fruition as you were lead through the crowds.  He was displaying your condition; you quickly realised.  Each step a meandering stroll that allowed his to taunt the crowds.  Not only had the Emperor got his Resistance-scum of a whore pregnant; he was proud to have done.  By the time he had reached his chair, your knees were ready to sink to their given position at the footstool by his feet.  Drawing yourself closer to what you knew was a position of safety, as you smoothed your skirts around him. 

You knew he was pleased when his hand petted your head.  A gloved hand pulling your chin to look at him, as one leather slick finger rubbed below your lower lip.  His face looked stoic as always, but his eyes softened.  Irises shrinking at your apparent need to appear submissive; showing a pleasure there that made your chest tighten, and your own eyes darken in answer.  In a small way; you had never felt more powerful, than you did then.  Subservient as always to him you knew he elevated you to a position so many others would want but would not achieve for themselves; and understood their Emperor better for it.  They wanted in a twisted way to be you, to wield the power they mistakenly thought you held.      

“You are less frightened Pet; this is good.  I have told you before, they will not touch you.”

He had leaned lower to speak into your ear.  The praise strangely welcome, the unspoken words clearly heard for all his subtly; ‘ _see how I protect you_.’  Across the room, Arabella scowled at the lowly position you had picked for yourself.  Shaking her head; not in show of denial, but more to clear cobwebs from it.  Frowning in quiet thought as you leaned willingly into Hux’s touch, accepting each brush of his hand with reverent pleasure. 

People milled around you.  Occasionally some would stop to greet him, skirting around you as though you didn’t exist.  Whilst others would just stare at you both from a distance, muttering to one another.  Those ones seemed the more dangerous to you, their distaste painted on their faces.  Hux paid them not attention, and you hoped it meant they were of no consequence to your safety by this. Instead opening your mouth to swallow each tiny canape, or mouthful of sparkling beverage he placed against your painted lips.  Almost sighing as a servant announced the meal ready. 

           

 

They had chosen to feed you alongside the other guests that evening in a small, glass covered, courtyard garden.  Hux escorting you to the chair to the Left of him, his sister occupying the one opposite you.  To your left sat the newly arrived Ren, and to hers a man you had assumed to be her husband; until she introduced him as a nearby aristocrat.  Hux seemed to favoured outdoor meals, on Naboo; and it was interesting to find that he chose to do so here.  This open patio becoming your favourite place in the latest of your lavish prisons.  Even if you did have to share the visit with the guests.  You didn’t see enough of the outdoors.  Even with the newly acquired garden, that came with the move to Hux’s personal quarters you felt as though you didn’t see enough sunlight.  It was nice to feel less trapped, as the starting course was served.  The glass walls protecting you from the chill winds, that buffeted the constant rain at this time of year; though you could still hear the sounds of it as you nibbled at the food.  Even cost as you felt; you ate very little.  The food not unpleasant, just the company keeping you on edge.  Arabella managed to keep the chatter to idle pleasantries such as the weather, or local gossip.  Other’s though seemed to constantly try and utilise this opportunity to gather more information about you.  Sometimes their questions seemed to border on rudeness, as they were passed over your head.  Hux deflecting any he found too personal with a stern look.  Out here the gossip trickled down slower than his royal court, and there were many questions to be asked.

“So a boy then Your highness? You will need an heir.”

The elderly gentleman who had spoken, seem to have entirely forgotten his place, all had.  They seemed to view him as Brendol Hux’s bastard; and not their Emperor.  It was a mistake to have come here, and to have chosen to dine with them, surely even Hux could see that?  Your fingers itched to clutch at the hardened flesh of your stomach, at that assumption that the Emperor would engineer it for you to carry male heirs.  A touch from Hux, backed by a silent whisper from Ren inside your head, had you holding back that impulse.  Replaced with a desire to openly smirk, that you too held back from, gripping instead the arms of the chair.  What would they do, you wondered if they knew the whole story; that biologically these children might not be Hux’s?

_‘They will in every way that matter.’_

You didn’t need Ren’s voice in your head to calm you, or to put asunder that worried thought.  There was murder in Hux’s eyes when he looked back at the portly man.  A warning the rest of the room would do well to listen to you knew, as he wordlessly pulled apart the man, before adding an assurance that it would not matter.

 That had met with a gasp, more than one guessing the child was female.  Though none guessing that they were twin girls, and most likely not Hux’s.  That was kept between the three of you, as you sat stiller.  Trying to hide the nervous tremor, that held you back from taking a sip of your water.

_‘Vermin all of them, shall I kill him for that comment?’_

You put down, your utensils, looking between both Hux and Ren.  Both were nonchalantly eating again, and there was no sign that either looked disturbed.  The command _‘later’_ filtered back through making it hard not to draw your brows in thought, lips parting as you realised.

Somehow the thoughts that flew between Ren and Hux; the ones that normally were kept hidden from you were being thrown at you too.  They wanted you to realise they had the task in hand, an amused bubble of silent laughter from both men, flitting through as they realised you had cottoned on to them.  Did this work both ways you wondered, answered with an exasperated sigh of _‘at last’_ from both sides as you realised it was done to protect you.  You relaxed a little, it allowing you more chances to enjoy your food if not the company.  Wondering if you’d have answered instead of Hux, Ren would have killed the man who thought your girls less superior for their sex?  Answered with a slow but definite nod from the brunette next to you, as he took a sip of wine. 

The message was heard and seemed to have been understood by the room, though it didn’t protect you from the prying sets of eyes though.  Their stares cold as they sneered silently over the Resistance scum you suddenly realised they were expected to accept as the mother of his children.  The only kindly stare and voice; that of his sister.  The hostility making you wonder if that was his true reason for ordering you to keep quiet about the pregnancy, and not the danger.  His father was politeness incarnate, compare to these harpies.  Despite his private rudeness to his son, he had never commented on your presence at the small tables when he ate alongside his son.  Nor since your pregnancy had he stooped to looking at you so crudely either.  Your condition perhaps making you less alluring to him now he knew. 

Besides the men didn’t really need to throw taunts at what you were doing here; to add a crudeness to the dinner party.  You didn’t need reminding by the one gentlemen who dared brake the silent ban surrounding you and Arabella at the table.  Asking in crisp, well-spoken Coruscanti accent where his highness had found you, and how he managed to keep you so obedient.  You knew better than to even look at the man, or to scowl at his joke about wishing his wife would behave as such, wondering where Hux had found such misogynistic bigots.  Even amongst the ranks of the First Order women were not expected to be as silent as Hux had trained you, the idea then that he would want to keep his wife, his supposed equal in life; galled you.  Was this why Hux sat you here rather than allowing you to dine alone; to hear out even more insult to your sex?

“Really Peters, I would have thought it more appropriate to ask how your wife puts up with you.”

Arabella had saved you again.  Her quick wit when she chose to exercise it rather than appear the dumb trophy wife; as always straight to the point.  Peter’s wasn’t getting the hint though, clearly drunk if his slurring was anything to go by. 

“Last I heard she was just well trained Resistance cunt.”

You fixed your gaze on your plate, pushing more food around it.  Your renewed appetite gone; as you occasionally placing small pieces of it into your mouth; you had had enough now.  Could the evening not be over yet, and these men leave you to the more gentler crudeness, that was your Emperor?  You were so used to it now, that it didn’t even occur to you that anything was truly amiss, until Hux stood.  Fury obvious from the pink spots high on his cheeks, even if it wasn’t the icy calm tone of his voice.   

“Lord Ren, could you be so good as to escort my companion and my sister to another room.”

His voice was controlled steel, a clipped order, more politely phrased than he would a soldier; but with every expectation of compliance.  Ren moved behind you, removing the chair from behind you to allow you to stand, another man moving to offer the same curtesy to Arabella.  Both of you dropping the correct curtsy, before moving to leave the room.  Arabella moved just as you would expect a Hux to, no signs in her demeanour that she had been privy to such a crude display of manners.  She flitted from the room like a bird in flight, and you felt so ungainly as you struggled to follow her on your shaky legs, and swollen feet.  It all felt wrong to you though, Hux wasn’t pleased.  His reaction had been barely noticeable, but it was there in the way he held his head, the deliberately slow sips of wine he took as he seated himself.  He was beyond furious now; he was livid. 

Following Ren; you and Arabella were escorted back to the chambers, you had left this afternoon.  Both of you seated in the small reception room.  Arabella seemed to have understood something you hadn’t from the way Ren took his leave and made the call for refreshments.  Ren adding an extra, unnecessary instruction for you to both remain here in these rooms.

The drinks came, and you noticed the familiar black clad deathtroopers at the door.  Hux had mentioned them, but you knew they had not arrived with you; when had Ren summoned them?  Arabella flitted around the borrowed chambers, arranging drinks for you both on a nearby table as she suggested you take a seat on the couch.  Lifting your feet to a foot stool, whilst she discussed silly little pleasantries, such as the cut of your gown, and décor of the room.  This was more dull, and frivolous than you expected even from her; making your fret nervously.  Your anxious energy becoming more and more apparent the longer you waited.  Hux was angry and that normally spelled disastrous occurrences for you.  You thought back to today’s actions; had you already displeased him today?  Had you both been sent away here, or saved from humiliation?  You thought back onto all the other little punishments he had given you, your trepidation drawing on your nervous imagination, summing up new terror filled nightmares for you.  He had never ordered you away whilst he dispensed his twisted brand of justice; did you dare to hope that, that was all that had gone wrong today?

A touch to your arm and you looked up Arabella repeating your name.  You had ignored her, too lost in your fear soaked daydreams, apologising with honest sorrow you asked her to repeat herself.  Cross that you might have ignored the one person who had done her best to be kind to you, the one person on your side who you had seen unafraid to stand up to Hux and Ren.

“He will be okay, don’t fret.  My brother has done far worse and survived it.”

Looking you with encouragement she took a sip of her drink.  Studying your reaction; observing your numb frame.  Turning a glint look of suspicion on you, that echoed into her voice.

“You do know that he intends to kill him for this?”

She was confused, then by your nervousness.  Thinking you worried for her brother and not the outcome for you.  You had thought you played your part well enough to go unnoticed, but you were wrong.  She knew what you were then did she?  Did she also know how you had been shaped into his whore?  You frowned, an almost laughed away her comment.  Unable to for the life of you understand her logic.  Hux would never kill for you, nor would he have offered; Ren maybe.  Oh, he might kill to protect the children in your belly, and clearly would offer you choice to decide on that.  But he wouldn’t kill a man for an insult, no matter how dire, or honest.  Taking another sip of tea to cover your scepticism, you reached for a small biscuit nibbling on it, as a way to delay having to give an answer.

“Oh, it won’t be him that will pull the trigger, he will probably have Ren do it for him.  But I’ve seen that look before, once when we were both younger, and my current beau stepped out of line.”

She seemed adamant that she was right, and you didn’t know how to challenge her.  Didn’t know how to point out that her baby brother was a perverted rapist.  He would no more kill for this insult than you would for another insulting him, she was so very wrong.  You were not the companion Hux had addressed you as, for the sake of his sister’s sensibilities.  She drew closer to you, rolling her eyes behind suddenly closed lids; in abject horror.    

“I have been such a fucking idiot.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates might be a little slower for a little while. I have plans to attend Celebration in April, and so need to sort costumes. It will be my first time in America, and the longest I have ever flown, but it should be worth it.


	30. Chapter 30

She looked over at you, narrowing her eyes as she drew back from you.  You couldn’t cope with this, you didn’t want the shame of somebody you respected knowing.  On impulse, you refused to keep eye contact with her; reverting to an automatic defence mechanism.  You had seen the little flashes of humanity he had shown her, the failings he allowed himself to have around her.  They were close, and if she truly was the person you thought her to be, this could now strip it all from him.  This had made things had change with her, and now she looked at you now as thought **_this_** was your first meeting.  Almost as though there had not been all those countless hours spent in her company; like she didn’t know you.  Her head tilted to one side she watched for your reaction to her studying you. Making you grow steadily more uneasy under the weight of her stare; until you were forced to give an outright shudder at the ferocity of it. 

“Exactly how did you and my brother meet?”

Your stomach dropped as you realised that she had come to her conclusion.  She had worked it all out, and if this was anything to go by, she was more than likely; going to be furious with her findings.  The real question she had wanted to ask was probably closer to; _what has he done to you?_ But even she couldn’t bring herself to that conclusion.  The words to answer her failed you, and you shook your head in the only answer you could give.  Not a refusal to answer, but a request for her not to make you tell her.  Shame colouring your face, in a mix of white and crimson red, as your throat closed itself to the truths, your heart wished you could speak. 

How could you honestly tell her how you met her brother?  That it had been in irons when instead of your execution; he had ordered his lover to strip you naked.  Then for his amusement had him rob you violently of your virtue on the cold stone floor of his chamber?  That afterwards it had led not to some great romance as she had previously thought, but months of imprisonment as a pleasure slave.  Eventually cumulating in you being forced to be an equally as unwilling parent to the children, she looked forwards to loving.  The ones you had thought for months, he would take from you.  It was too much, and yet not enough.  You felt like you both deserved more, she deserved to know everything and nothing.  You had enjoyed the friendship that had come with her ignorance, now how would you ever look her in the eyes again; knowing what you were.  Tears welled up, and you choked them back, as shell-shocked you stared at her; like a deer caught in a headlamp.  It was too much to carry, and too heavy a burden to share with the one person who had loved Armitage Hux unconditionally.  Did he have to take this from you too; couldn’t he have given you a pre-prepared lie? Something planned that you could have told her, if it ever came to this, that would match with his version of that falsehood. 

“He loves you, he has to.  He behaves so irrationally around you, he kills for you.  He has to, doesn’t he?”

She seemed more confused by it all than you did, and her confusion had given way to anger, and your inability to talk.  The same black look in her eyes as his when she gave in and shouted at you; demanding answers for herself.  Stopping as she realised she too was scaring you.  Apologising sincerely; both with words and looks.  You stared blankly as her; wondering if some of her confusion was just her fooling herself.  You at least knew what her brother felt for you, and possessive as he was; it wasn’t love.  It couldn’t be, nobody who loved anyone did this to somebody.  Your fingers graced the edges of your collar, following each curve to the central drop; the expensive tag of ownership that you wore.  You were not his lover, and Ren claimed you were not his slave; but when had you been treated otherwise.  When was your last act of freedom?  The first tear fell then at her re-insistence that her brother did feel something for you.  Growing into silent, gut wrenching sob as she insisted; that he had to for him to defy so many in naming your children his; to allow you to have them.  You wanted to give into hysterics at that; but held back from it.  Too frightened of coming too close to the insanity, you often skirted around.  She talked rubbish, you doubted you were chosen for anything more than a sub to those who had named him ‘bastard’ for so long.  When had convention ever mattered to Armitage Hux, unless he wished to break them?  The man thought himself above the law; and that was evident in his choice in you.  He could have fucked you all he wanted, and nobody would have batted an eyelid.  Even naked and chained to his throne would have been considered crude, but more acceptable than naming the bastard in your’ belly his heir. When he had decided to ensure you deliberately fell pregnant; he placed you in such a grey area.  He had made you so very vulnerable.  Then to make matters worse, had given you something more fragile than you to protect.  Something they struggled to at times, and something you could only fail to do on your own.  

She kept add more insistences that her brother cared for you.  Her basic reasoning’s for knowing this so intangible they were like water through a sieve.  You wished she would stop, the protests doing little to help the storm inside your stomach; or the swirling sickness inside of your head.  Already you wished you had not eaten; the food inside of you threatening to revolt.  Your head pounded painfully to the same tempo your heart set, and you felt sicker now than you had ever felt.        

You told her what you could manage to.  That Emperor Armitage Hux didn’t love you.  Keeping silent that the idea that he didn’t; somehow cut deeper than all the things he had ever done to you.  That need shocking you in its intensity.  You thought you already knew the ardent need to be loved, the whiplash that came with your loneliness.  Now with a sickening thud of your heart comprehensions fell into place; a small part of you wanted him to have grown to at least care for you if he couldn’t love you.  That you wanted to be so much more than just his whore.  Perhaps, you wondered it was you to blame?  Did you as for something impossible from him.  In his eyes, did you even deserve to be loved, or had he seen at your best only a potential to be a victim of his sick games?  You were set to soon become the mother of his children, but what exactly did that mean to your cold-hearted jailer.  Did he feel anything when he looked at you, beyond his dying lust?  Surely men who demanded children of their women normally felt some measure of fondness.  You thought back to the families you had seen. Recalling that of all the couple’s you had ever known; you could only remember the happiness, when they reached this stage.  The same subtle shows of affections you saw between Hux and Ren; when they bestowed their attentions upon one another.  You were just here because you filled a niche, because they needed a motherly figure, and you were stupid for wanting anything more from them.  There had never been any interest from either man in showing any affection to you.  

Hux’s only interest had ever really been to your cunt.  Either for the pleasure he took from it, or for its reproductive qualities.  He had never hidden that from you, you realised.  He entertained you, only for the expert ways he could prove to you; that he could wring from it exactly what you refused to give willingly. 

“I’m not stupid (y/n) I know you were Resistance; but that didn’t matter to him.” 

She used your name.  Always, she called you by your given name and not the moniker Hux had gifted you with, to make you less human to him.  There was still a measure of iron in her voice, but it was tempered with kindness.  What had tonight been all about then?  Why had he had offered to remove your collar and flippantly named you a companion; all in one night?  Why did he have to do that to you? Why try and raise you only to see you fall all the time.  Why let others think you were something to him, when you clearly were nothing, not even worth protecting properly.  You just wanted all of this to stop, debating if the bubble you lived in was still safer than this knowledge.  Recognising even if she did not, that Arabella was safest of all in hers.  How would her brother treat her if she knew his dirty little secret, and would she even care once she knew what you were.  Of everything, of everyone involved in this new life for you; she was the one you least hoped to changed their opinion of you if the truth came out.  She had been the only one to show you the true face of her kindness.  Arabella was not letting the subject drop though.  Nor was she allowing you to escape this small trap she had inadvertently laid for you.  Physically reaching to hold onto your wrists, both in an attempt to prove her sympathy and as a way of physically keeping you here.  It hurt so badly, to have to think it that your silence was as understandable as the paleness to your face.  She still was taking no prisoners though, peppering you with what seemed like a thousand more questions.  Each one making you want to draw tighter on yourself, until she spoke a final suspicion, letting go of your wrists in surrender.

“He really scares you; doesn’t he?”

A slow nod sealed your doom.  Finally; an admission that something wasn’t right.  A start at making amends despite all you still couldn’t tell her.  It seemed to be enough for her to accept though; for better or for worse she now knew.  Arabella took a deep breath, pressing her fingertips to her brow; closing her eyes as she decided on your fate.

She suddenly grabbed for your hand pulling you to your feet.  Your heart racing in panic until she gave the command to follow her.  This was the action not of someone who wished to betray you and to do you harm.  No this was the actions of a fellow conspirator.

She was rougher with you than perhaps she intended, but you let it pass in the rush. Her hand leading you from the sitting room, and into the adjoining bedroom.  Closing the door behind her; she pulled closed the heavy drapes that spanned the windows, before drawing you over to what looked like a wardrobe door.  It opened to reveal a small dressing room and beyond that another but plainer door; one that opened into another bedroom.  This one was obviously Hux’s judging by facetious neatness to the possessions, and the familiar coat laid tidily over one chair to dry.  A moment’s panicked thought, that perhaps she led you in here to betray you was quashed as she breathlessly told you to hurry up; closing the partition door behind her.  She didn’t stop here, leading you through an almost identical sitting room and onto the landing.  The door opening a little further to a set of stairs than your bedchambers.  She led you up them, and you had reached a second set of stairs when Hux found you.  Indignantly roaring her name from the hallway bellow:

“Arabella!”

You knew as well as she did, that the bellowed name was more an order to stop than an acknowledgement.  She ignored it; and gave you no chance to answer.  Pulling you in front of her to push you faster away from her brother.  Obviously trusting her connection to him to keep you both safe.  It was hard going on your back, but you understood more than ever, the need for urgency.  Your legs though didn’t; faltering as on impulse they wanted to obey his orders.  You were not given the time to decide if it was safer to return to him, or to run.  Arabella shoving your back instead, away from the Emperor, and ordering you forwards. 

The brief glimpse you stole of him, as you surged forwards, was most intriguing.  He didn’t give time to wait and see if you would obey him.  Nor you later would recall, did he order you to stop.  It was as though he had already realised she knew, and strove desperately to have you returned to him.     

“Arabella! You bring her back here now!”

Alone, and unencumbered by skirts, or a weighted belly; he ran speedily up the first flight of stairs.  His bounding gait making short work of the next landing.  He was close you realised, a stitch making you want to give in; a short glance at his thunderous face making you press on.  You didn’t need Arabella pushing you, to know this would go very badly if he caught you; you had the last escape attempt to go by.

In answer to his gaining proximity, she sped up.  Both of you finding reserves from somewhere you didn’t know you had them.  Your lungs straining for air, as your heart beat wildly, threatening to burst from your chest.

You could hear the thud of his speedily gait behind you, as Arabella cleared the final landing and pushed you into a plain open doorway.  Her voice ordering it locked, the whirr and hiss of magnetic locks letting you know you were safe, as much as her assurance.  

“Those walls are six inches of durasteel; he can’t get you in here.”

Arabella was so confident, you however where not as sure.  Yes she had tried her best; but it wouldn’t work once he got Ren up here.  It wouldn’t hold long enough, to keep him out; even if there had of been the food supplies to stave off a siege.  Slowly you had begun tread backwards.  Your feet leading you fearfully back towards the door.  It was far safer to comply, your conditioning told you; your body too long compliant to his orders even if your mind was not. 

Hux kept on pounding at the door; his fists heavy with his rage, as he gave yelled commands that she was to unlock the door now.  She was having none of it though; her staunch orders for him to go away, were met with the louder shuddering of the solid framework.  Gradually becoming less regular, and much louder; an indication that he was employing slower shoves of his shoulder, against the metal door.  He changed his tact; no doubt tired from the exercise.  Either weariness or a calming of his temperament; making the banging cease to the occasional thud.  Leaving mostly just more shouted demands, for Arabella to open the door to him.  He wasn’t going to give in easily you realised, not sure what to do with yourself.  Your whole body ached in painful tremors, you were completely exhausted by it all.  Today had been so long, so arduous already, and now it was to end in chaos.      

 “Armitage will you fuck off; you’re frightening her!”

She had guessed your turmoil too.  Pulling you back from the sitting room and into the room beyond it.  Gently easing you to sit on the bed.  This door wasn’t locked, though and you  she knelt before you, to pull your face to her.  Calmly offering her reassurances, as she promised it would be alright.  It wouldn’t though, eventually the door would break, and failing that; it would only be a matter of time before Ren was summoned.  It would be easy to get to you then; the plasma blade of his lightsabre would cut through that wood like a hot knife through butter you realised.  Behind the door; Hux was not letting it go lightly.  His yelling carrying as far as the bedroom.

 “I wouldn’t be frightening her if you opened this bloody door Arabella.”

This whole palaver was not something you could have ever seen Hux playing into.  Another time and a different person and you would have laughed.  As this was it was just scary to you.  This was completely unreal you told yourself; people did not tell the Emperor of the known Galaxy to fuck off.  Particularly not small civilian redheaded women, with no combat experience.  To her the threats she made in answer to the ones he threw at her, if she didn’t open that door rolling off her tongue like water.  So absolutely certain was she in her assumptions that he wouldn’t hurt her, that you too began to believe he would not.  He would you though, at some point he would extract his pound of flesh for this, and hot headed as he could be at times; at other times very patient.  He would be all sweetness and light when he tried to make amends with her.  The frustration he would feel at having to conform to her expectations, he would later take out on you.      

Eventually they ceased to shout as much, and the impasse was met with an agreement.  She would open the door, if he would agree you went nowhere without her permission.  Hux seemed too eager to readily agree to this, and Ren had not yet been summoned to cut through the door.  Something was off about both, his public show of anger and the declination to call Ren up to simply take you from her.  Whatever it was; you hoped from his refusal to use brute force to get the door open, he would stick to the promise he made his sister.

A voiced command; and the magnetic locks disengaged with a hiss.  Clicking back into place as outside the door Hux waited to be given further permission to come through.

It shocked you to see him, now.  He looked everything but the man you knew.  For all his height, he had always been a slender man, now he looked even smaller.  She gave a nod and he worked his feet forwards, waiting until you had agreed with Arabella; that he was okay to come in. Adding silent promises to yourself that you would listen to her advice.  It seemed that the handful of minutes spent arguing with his sister had done nothing for his usually pristine visage.  His hair was a mess, and his usually gloved hands bare.  Knuckles bloodied and swollen; most likely from banging on the door.  He crept slowly into Arabella’s reception room.  Paying nothing except you any attention. His gaze firmly trained on you, unblinking like a cat as he slowly tried to pace closer to you.  There was still anger in his controlled approach, and your hands followed the lowering of his gaze to your swollen belly.  The real reason you realise he wished not to upset you, he needed both twins onside.  You sat perfectly still except for the thumbing inside your womb.  One of your twins answering the splaying of your hand over their tiny shell, as you waited for him.  For this protective bubble to all come crashing down whilst you waited perched petrified on the bed, your heart thudding with every step he took forwards.

“No further than the sitting room Tidge.”

Her voice was a feminine version of the iron clad tone of command of her brother used to order you around.  For all the femininity to the pitch; she could have ordered millions to battle with the confidence within it.  Across the room Hux blinked as though dazed, the first time he had allowed his eyes to close.  His attention as firmly on you as before as he took a deep breath, making you automatically flinch.  You frowned at that, your lips tightening to a grimace, as he took in her command.  Of course he fucking knew; you told yourself, it was just that you never in a million years expected him to be this docile.  His fists hung loosely at his side; fists clenching a single time before he released that breath.  Silently he nodded his acceptance, taking the order that he would not step past the bedroom door, as easily as he had the terms he had agreed to so he could come in.  Suddenly looking so very different, so very small and ashamed as he unbidden took a seat on the only couch, staring at you though his words were for Arabella.

“How much has she told you?”

He was still playing it safe then was he?  Still waiting to see how obediently he had trained you to fear him; he wanted to check and see if you had kept quiet for him, then was he?  Why not just tell her what had happened if he honestly thought he had done nothing wrong?  It wasn’t as though you could tell her; didn’t he already know you were too ashamed by that to admit what he had made you do, how he had made you like it.  It was there though, the same shame you had seen that day in his office.  He wasn’t so much ashamed of you; his whore, as he was his beloved sister’s reaction when she found this out about her brother.  A vitriolic part of you knew a little peace at that.  It was good that he finally was being made to some shame in all of this, about time he faced up to what he had made you.  Arabella hovered in the doorway; situating herself diplomatically between you both.  As defensive in her backwards stance to you; as she was aggressive facing her brother.  She narrowed her eyes at Hux, pulling her arms to fold across her chest; a relaxed poise that spoke volumes for her temperament.      

“Nothing, it seems she’s too ashamed by what you did to her, care to elaborate.”

Whatever he was going to tell her, that tone suggested he had better not waste her time.  She already had her suspicions, and her thoughts on them; or else you would not be stood here safe in her rooms.  Her head tilted onto one shoulder, making your heart give into a wild hope of some sort of rescue from your torturer.  Tiny as she was; she seemed to be stood ready to protect you from her brother.  Her face and body langue echoing the determination that nothing was going to get past her.  Nothing would make her hand you over to him, if she didn’t like his answer, which you fervently believed she would not.

You wished Hux would just give a brief glossing over, even to lie to save you face as much as it would him.  But he wasn’t about to let this self-flagellating judgement go lightly.  Beginning his story with the most damming of truths to your current existence.

“I raped her Arabella, both myself and Ren; repeatedly.  It was supposed to be part of her execution.  Somehow it ended up being more, I don’t know how.” 

No!  You begged silently, shame flooding your face as Hux spoke, the curve of his lips speaking the truth you had long since thought buried from her.  His words giving life to the shameful secret you had for so long kept from her.  He had raped you, countless times, each time showing mastery over your body when it painstakingly laid bare the pleasures he heaped unwarranted on it.  How often had you sighed in pleasure in one exhale of breath, only to be horrified on the inhale that he had made you let go.  That it had been something he forced you to like, didn’t until now seem to register to him.  Had he always thought it a game you played to tease him, had he always believed his own lie?  He went on, explaining more of the whole sorry saga, painfully dragging her through the muddy waters he had almost drowned you in.  More tears pricked at your eyes, these similar to the ones he always plucked from you. 

If you had the bravery you would have begged him to stop now as he continued to bare everything.  His voice hoarse as he sat, brokenly explaining everything to her.  He insisted none of this was supposed to have happened.  You were just some Resistance scum sent to amuse him before you died.  It wasn’t as though they had ever done this before, always it had been the same; Ren would break them for any final intel, and then they would exchange pledges of loyalty for a prison cell.  Or for those who held out long enough; beg the Emperor’s mercy and receive a quick death.  It was always supposed to stay that way; he wasn’t supposed to have wanted you.  But then you had volunteered, offered yourself to save your comrades another day; neither would have been suitable punishments for your ties to the Resistance.  Ren had shown him the way you had protected others in the medibay, as he slaughtered.  He had shown him the possibilities for you, if they could just manage to break you.  He didn’t realise it would cost him this much though, he hadn’t counted for what you would also tear from him.  Arabella was begged to look at it from his point of view, they had both been bred to think of you as scum for your beliefs.  Could she honestly say you would have seen you any differently, if she hadn’t of known you personally?  What would she have thought of you; had you both passed in the street, you clapped in irons and on route to a prison camp?  It was something you hadn’t stopped to consider in all her dealings with her, and now it worried you.  To her you should have been everything Hux had seen on that throne room floor; treacherous, terrorist scum, that she shouldn’t have looked twice at before shooting.  You were the enemy, and she had been bred to think you inferior, somehow though you had hoped by now you had bypassed all of this.  You were not equals Hux had made sure of that, but you thought you both were friends. 

Trying in her own naivety to offer him some chance at a redemption.   Her words came to your shock despite all of this, to your defence.  The severity in her admonishment at her brother, the testament to her thoughts on you.  She for her part looked aghast that he would try to sway her to his way of thinking, scathingly protesting he should have thought better of her.  That after all these years, she had thought he knew her better, thought she knew him better.  He looked guilty at that, and she seemed to feed her anger on that.  Standing taller, squaring her shoulders as stepped closer demanding more answers of him. 

“So the pregnancy is an accident, your acceptance of them a way of making amends?”

For the sake of your babies, you would hear this from him.  Moving closer to stand at the door frame you watched him look back at you.  His eyes darting nervously about your person, his face haunted and so very young.  You had never heard this from him, never dared to demand he answer why you, and now hearing him tell her you stood.  His eyes trained on you, as you stepped closer, needing to catch every utterance. 

“Yes, the first time.  We were careless, it wasn’t something we had considered relevant.”

Was it that a child would not have been relevant?  Or was it that one way or another you would never have been allowed to carry to term.  Already he had admitted letting you live; what had changed his mind over your pregnancies, why had he embraced it.  He had to have known then since the first time; that you were pregnant.  How soon had Ren sensed it.  How had he felt you wondered, to watch you and know what he would demand of you.  To fuck you knowing what he had done to you what grew inside of you.  All along he had insisted you had known something, when it was something he could have as easily decided on.  You at least hadn’t realised you had fallen pregnant; let alone having an early bleed that led to a miscarriage.  How dare he assume you had taken something deliberately to prevent carrying his child, when it had begun as a careless _mistake_. 

Just when exactly had he decided it was a good plan.  When had it become less of an accident, and more of a series of purposeful attempts at conception?  Your hands pressed to your belly, trying to find the strength there to ask why you.  Willing yourself to bravery, for their sakes if not yours.  There was a watery smile to his lips.  A great sadness in his eyes, that reddened them almost to tears.

“You couldn’t run from them Pet, they never needed to fear losing you.”

Perceptive as always of you he had spoken for you, saving you from asking the question you couldn’t make your lips form.  It was your status as his prisoner, as his possession that had cemented your fate then.  He had asked you not to leave your babies behind.  Did he truly think it better for him to lose them; than they you? Slowly you began to see it for what it was, above everything the Emperor Armitage Hux really did fear you walking away from your children.  So far you had just thought it a horribly twisted guilt trip, now as she grimaced at him you could see the truth under his layers of bravado.  Arabella’s words sending him deathly pale.

“She is not your mother Tidge, and you don’t’ have to be our father.”

She was still cross, but she spoke softly, gently pulling together his fear for you.  How old had he been when his mother had left him, when had he begun to resent her for her abandonment.  Exactly how ingrained was the damage with him.  Of all things you could have felt for him, you mostly pitied his weaknesses right now.  Wholly disgusted that this broken thing had been allowed to torment your every hour for so long.  He was neither the strong, nor fearless leader he had claimed to be and for too long he had demanded something from you he could not give.  He couldn’t look at you, you quickly realised as his head lowed in shame.  It took him more than one swallow to speak, the words falling from his mouth like fire, leaving you scorched in their passage.   

“I am sorry Kitten, you are right I am a monster.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't see there not being panic rooms set strategically throughout the Hux household dwelling. Different floors for different emergencies. Probably a bunker underneath too, it seems the appropriate thing to do.  
> I also cannot see Hux having stepped into the childhood home where he was just the family bastard, with pomp and ceremony. I can however see him lording it over those who thought him inferior, and possibly extracting his revenge accordingly. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also there was supposed to be more to this chapter when I planned it, but I didn't feel it fit yet. So I have held onto it for a little while yet. Also not sure if I have rambled on in places.


	31. Chapter 31

In the span of just a few weeks, your whole world had turned, from suffocatingly too-small, to agonizingly far too expanded.  The new world you were set to inhabit as a seemingly free woman, was still painfully isolating in its sudden vastness, its silent cruelness alone. 

The first week; you had scuttled like a mouse, around the makeshift rooms Arabella had moved you to.  A whole suit to yourself, to whom nobody but you held a key.  The fit of them was meant well, to be comforting in the privacy, but somehow not working for you.  Boredom was not really the word for it, not after so long practicing at being alone the problem.  Perhaps better put, it was more the isolation that you now experienced, the lack of the daily company.  You were lonely, and didn’t know how to deal with that re-found sensation; choosing instead of confronting it, to bury yourself deeper into it.  Ren had spent the first few days actively avoiding you, and of course, you had avoided Hux at first, and tried to Arabella also, though she would not allow you to dwell in your misery.  You were to ashamed that she knew how weak you had become, and too afraid Hux would protest that you had enjoyed it.  You had too; not entirely, and not in any way that you had given consent to, making you confused and at best unsure of what to think when she eventually coerced you out from hiding in your bedchamber.  That his sister lived; and in many ways controlled the negotiations showed he must have in his own way respected and loved her very much then.  She must have played an important role during his childhood, for him to allow her lenience’s he did with no one else.  He cared for his sister very much, if it stopped him from insisting he saw her punished for her brave actions for you that night. 

No longer did your captors have an easy access to you, and they didn’t make you attend their gruelling schedule either.  Your body should have been using the time to rest, to recover over spent energies and sleep; but more often than not you found yourself awake, your over active thoughts refusing to let you sleep.  You didn’t think you would ever get used to the changes, or the lack of demands made for you to behave a certain way.  It had seemed so odd to have choices, and after so long without them too difficult to process what to do.  It wasn’t just the times completely to yourself, but the decisions you had to make.  You struggled to prioritise tasks, not that there was anything serious to plan; but there were obvious difficulties in the most minute of decisions.  The first two days dressing yourself for the evening meal, had been a nightmare of indecisiveness.  It wasn’t as thought you were incapable of dressing yourself, just unsure you were doing it right.  The process of deciding what was suitable to wear in a society so above your own, was too much for your mind to process.  Eventually you had descended over-late to the meal.  Self-consciously aware that your outfit was not on par with the previous ensembles Hux had picked out for you.  It was probably your hormones that were as much to blame as the excitement when you appeared red faced from the crying, but you felt hopelessly lost without direction.  You felt uncomfortable, and out of place; considerably underdressed, consciously nervous with every glance that you had made the wrong choice of dress and accessories.  The only part of you up to standards, would be the silver necklace at your throat, the solid piece of tooled silver work, something you still steadfastly refused to have removed.  Unsure why, even in the most nerve wracking of moments; a simple brush of your finger over the weight of the warmed, scrolled metal would bring comfort to you. 

Hux hadn’t liked your later arrival one bit.  Though he kept silent, you were hardly immune to the subtler signs of his displeasure.  His jaw clenched and his lips pursed; as he more ordered than suggested, that you clearly still needed your attendants.  Arabella shaking her head, as she steadfastly refused to discuss it over dinner.  You had eaten far too little that night, and spent the night with a churning stomach and acid burps to add to the other difficulties to you sleeping.  Pushing your food around your plate.  Red faced and all too ashamed; that you had failed to live up to even his basic standards, without his help. 

By the third evening of frustrated tears; Hux had made more pressing demands over the dinner table that your handmaidens be reinstated.  This had met with what you guessed from her silence, were mixed feelings from Arabella, and a world of conflict from you.  You couldn’t decide if you were too proud to admit you needed help, or if you just didn’t want Hux having any control over you.  But you had been thankfully surprised and relieved; not been asked to make the final decision.  The following morning you had woken, and Astrid had arrived after breakfast to supervise, the other girls. This time though in place of their deafening silence, you were met with the occasional softly spoken request, and stranger; an infrequent smattering of questions.  The women had done a decent job, and that evening you had arrived to dinner calmer in your clothing choices.  Your clothing meeting a more soothed and relaxed Hux’s silent nod of approval.  Making it bizarrely, easier to rest that evening knowing that Hux was pleased with you, and by the sixth day you were less resentful of needing the assistance, accepting it as commonplace now. 

Astrid seemed to have taken a step back; her voice softer as she supervised; but her eyes still cold when she looked down at you.  It was impossible to take it easy around her, and you couldn’t shake the suspicion that she didn’t like you.  Even if she was less grabby with you, and her face more neutral; there was still something about her you couldn’t place.  It worried you, and you did your best not to be alone with her.  Even when Arabella assured you, not to worry, that the woman had been with Hux since he was a small boy, and she had cared for him.  You were not so sure you could accept that the woman meant you no harm.  You hadn’t the same history, as either of the Hux siblings, and without that it meant you also had less worth.  For Arabella’s sake, you tried to brush your concerns aside; and to relax in the handmaiden’s company.  Assuming Hux would never have allowed her around you this long, if she was a real threat; trying to push aside the memories of his concubine.  You felt like you owed Arabella so much already, that it was wrong not to at least try to heed her warnings.  Her kindness had left you freed from Hux’s total and oppressive control, even if it did come with its own compromises. 

More seemed to have passed between Hux and Arabella than you were to be made privy of.  Nor were you ever likely to be.  Ren too had received his telling off; though unlike Hux, it seemed he showed no shame at his actions.  You had heard of Arabella verbally ripping strips off him in private when passing, not that you heard him reply.  It was hard not to show some amusement at the mental image of the small redhead, yelling unafraid at a man easily twice her size, and able to crush her with a single blow.  Not that it was not equally as unsettling, to hear their arguments reach a crescendo of screamed demands.  Ones that when you stopped to listen, always ended in her loudly reminding him what he had done.  You would scuttle by, eager not to be found listening. 

Not that you would have been denied access to watch if that had of been what you wanted.  It wasn’t as though you were not daily invited often to join in the discussion of terms with both treating parties.  Ren refusing to turn up for all but the first one which like his arguments with Arabella; he sat silent fists pumping into closed fists at his sides; brooding throughout until he was permitted not to bother the next day.  You however were not afforded the same concession, Arabella more forcefully demanded you attended all subsequent sessions.  Arguing that both herself and Hux, needed to know what you wanted out of it all.  Beseeching you both in private in your rooms and publicly at the meetings; for you to stand up and voice, your own wants and desires.  Doing her best to try to determine what you really needed out of all of this.  The lack of answers, left her at an uncomfortable impasse during discussions with her brother, so she bargained as best as she could.  Drawing on her own experiences as a mother, and widowed wife to decide what would work the best for your children as much as you.  Her barely concealed frustration that you didn’t wholly know; and could not make a guess at the best option, made you uncomfortable with her seemingly endless patience for you.  You knew she had already done so much for you, that you wanted to help her.  You wished you could give her the answers she needed to negotiate what you all wanted; but you couldn’t find the way to separate what you needed, from what you wanted.  Not truthfully at least, and her face when you refused an answer; showed such obviously concealed disappointment and at best unabated confusion, you almost considered lying to appease her.  She tried her best not to get mad at you, and you could sense that she wanted the best for you, as much as her brother.  He had conditioned you to fear answers as much as questions. It would have been easier if it could have all been made for you, something which left you shaken at the realisation.  Could you honestly give the best answer, it was not only you who needed safety and stability in the years to come You didn’t know the entirety how you felt.  Or rather you did, but didn’t know how to consolidate them into words, how to condense the multitudes of feelings into one choice.  It had been so long since you had been allowed to think and act independently that your brain just couldn’t make up the answers for you.  And worse, you knew a betraying, niggling feeling of want when you looked at him.  It was wrong to need them; they both should have repulsed you by now.   But that only made it harder to answer; she still protested to him that, she still loved him despite his ugly actions.  Suggesting ways in private that he could try and make amends.  All of it, left a bad taste in your mouth, how were you expected to make your peace with a man who couldn’t see you as anything more than property, ad who clearly didn’t want to make amends.  The unanswered questions eating you up inside, constantly went unsaid.  Reluctant to speak of them to even in the newfound freedom of these negotiations, it was too much to ask them. 

That they had in some ways began to look after you, allowed themselves to show feelings; made it harder for you to walk away.  Hux had gone from his early days of teasing you for your disgust at his touch, to outright shame and repulsion at forcing you.  You had once been something to be coveted, that he wanted to now, this person he regretted touching.  He in turn was now disgusted, to have given into animalistic urges, to have taken you.  He would look suddenly at you in the mist of the negations; full lips soft and plush, so different from the contorted face set with angles and lines that made him look so hard and foreboding.  The tilt of his head at you, showing cheekbones you longed to run a finger across; a chiselled jaw line that at times would tighten as he gritted his teeth, before he would speak his terms.  Eyes cold and unreadable as always; though red rimmed and dark circled from a lack of sleep.  His complexion now beyond milk-white, its tone turned sallow; so pale it was almost translucent at his exhaustion.  He didn’t sleep much already, so now you guessed from the late hours and appearance, he saw less of his bed than you did.  You would grip the table as he listened to every demand Arabella made for you.  His head nodding magnanimously to agree to almost everything she demanded for you, baring a permanent residence here for you and the children.  He stubbornly refused to let you fully go, and you didn’t fight that yet.  When you spoke to agree; his eyes would darken as listened and his eyes would dart lower to your stomach, the contents priceless to him.  There lay the real prize to be won here, you were at best a close second.  Knowing deep down that if he moved to tears to beg for you to stay with his children, it would cut you in two. 

Vitriolic at his self-loathing; you had briefly luxuriated in his fear that you could remove his children from his life.  That somehow you held a more prominent place in their lives than he did.  Taking that they preferred you; as your only condolence to the loneliness you now rotted in.  Spending hours trying to relive the shame in his face when he finally was confronted with all he had done.  Idly tracing back through the countless memories, which laced together with this latest occurrence showed he had felt it for a long time.  It left you with such a sense of spiteful pride; that you had caused the most powerful man in the galaxy, to in some way to fall and to have committed acts that now shamed him. 

But on the flip-side; it also meant you had to fully admit to yourself what they had done to you.  It was almost the perfect manipulation, but what it had scathed in its passage left you raw and hollow.  For so long you had tried to win Hux’s regards, to stave off that side of him that truely scared you; that it left you in no illusions as to why you now longed for his touch.  A simple ‘good girl’ would have set you back obediently onto your knees before him.  You knew a large part of you was so desperately seeking his attentions and affections.  But you knew better than to dare to ask him for them.  How much lower were you to him now with him knowing that Arabella knew his shameful secret?  That she had humiliated him daily, as she made him speak of remorse?  How she took from him, his control over trying to work out how it was best to look after you now.   No wonder he didn’t touch you any more, not even the brush of finger tips; it was not possible to become any more untouchable in his eyes.

Oh, you understood now more of his previous actions to you.  How his temper became so volatile around you.  Now you knew what exactly shamed him, you could see the hazy lines of when it had all started.  He had slowly cultivated the shame, but mostly kept it repressed.  The night Ren first showed you your babies though; was the first time you had caused him to have to properly think of what he was doing.  Comparing your life to the one they expected of your children, had pressed Hux to face up to what he had done.  He had denied before when you called him out on it, but that night, that trashing of his room was an acceptance of what he did.

Every violent outburst before, had just been more one step in the slow progression of his guilt.  Now Arabella knew he had been cornered by his own guilt, he was being made to act in ways he didn’t want to.  His future was now constrained by a brand new moral code; one which wasn’t his, nor had he had not stopped to consider to plan for it.  That first night on Arkanis when Arabella sussed it all out, had been the first time he couldn’t run or bully his way out of his guilt.  You were not sure anymore where this all of this left you yet.  Unsure yet how much the guilt changed how he would allow you to act.  Even at your worst, you had assumed yourself lowest in his regards, just a whore for his personal use.  His warnings to _‘know your place’_ and his jealousy now left you now unsure of it.  When had you entirely known your place with him, it wasn’t like you had ever been told, and you didn’t dare ask; even now.  It would be too shameful you supposed, to find out exactly how the father of your children viewed you.  Even when Ren had kindly told you your official status, was neither slave or prisoner, he still hadn’t bothered to clear up for you what your place in his life was.  If you truly were a freed woman, then Hux could not have kept up on his insistences that you remain here in his family house.  What were you then to the galaxy, if you were to look yourself up on a First Order data bank, would you appear as a freed prisoner of war?  Where there still available links to your Resistance past on your record; or had Hux wiped it all.  Would you even exist as a person at all, or had he made you now an invisible, a no-one?

That this latest show of contrition showed he could feel guilt, was more proof that he was not incapable of feelings, that he had known all along what he had done to you.  Though that was hardly a new revelation to you, just more proof that he didn’t really care for you beyond the properties of your womb.  You had seen all along instances where he felt things, he then pretended to you he was above, even love being one of them.  There had been plenty of instances with his sister and his lover to show you; he could truly care; just never any to suggest he did for you.  In every physical way, you accepted by now that your needs would always be met; and now no longer just the ones Hux deemed as necessary physical ones.  He just had never accepted you had emotional needs too.  Pregnancy was scary itself, without having to face those fears alone.  The burgeoning desire to be held tight and to be told it was all okay, was verging on desperation.  Daily the insecurity grew, and not just of your future. 

Your entire body had changed, you had long since passed the point where it was just your own now.  For another few month’s it was someone else’s home, and then there were the years of being a mother.  Of what he and Ren were planning for your long-term future was still a bit of a mystery.  It had come as a huge enough surprise that he could feel anything for his treatment of you, other than the sensation of you wetting his cock.  That he had readily admitted his crimes to save you the uncomfortableness of doing it yourself was an oddity in itself.  To hear remorse for his actions to you; too had been something you had **_never_** been, or expected to be privy to from him.  The most peculiar though, had that it had come to actual fear it would seem in losing you, in splitting his peculiar and misshapen family apart.  In all this you had learnt he felt something for you, that was not just shame and anger, too bad it was only remorse.  

His admittance of guilt held pleasant undertones, that quickly soured and turned bitter as you took to a growing sense of disgust at delighting in his discomfort.  The events that had shaped this man into your paragon of cruelty, had taken place years before the rise of the First Order, and not to a grown man; but to an innocent, a small, defenceless, little boy.  It was morally wrong to take any delight in the sufferings of the then young Armitage Hux; and each time you began to, remorse swiftly took over you, and you found yourself holding tight to his own children.  Apologising as much to them as anyone else, for ever allowing yourself such a horrible sense of glee at the sufferings of another child.  Even if your Resistance had lost their war; you still believed yourself to be on the side of right.  You were supposed to be the good guy in all of this, him the bad man, and no amount of what he did to you now, should have made it okay to sneer at that which had left him so heartless. 

Of the details of Hux’s clearly unhealthy and turbulent childhood; you learned nothing new.  You didn’t need to know the details of the particulars; to see how the man who daily stood before you clothed in remorse had been shaped so cruelly by them.  It had always been there if you had looked closer, the pleas he had made for you not to leave his children. The way he seemed desperate to prove himself to his bigot of a father, whilst coming to terms with the fact; that in so many ways he had become his father.  He was a bully, and a blind zealot; who had treated you as he had been taught; intimidating, and beating you into submission.  Only for his attempts to keep you in your place to fail.  Somewhere you had stopped becoming the mindless sex doll, and Hux had seen something in you that he would allow to be passed on to his children. 

Your first pregnancy may have been an accident, an oversight on his behalf, but this one was not; this one was planned.  Now by doing that he had become someone he never had intended to be, someone who had somehow let down his family name.  A permanent disappointment, when he had decided on you to do what a pure-blooded loyalist should have had bestowed on them; provide his children.  That Hux had kept you from his father touch, only to fare so marginally better under his care was at best hypercritical, especially when he had countless times accused you of being the one to put the others in danger. 

It was all exhausting, and you couldn’t relax; too worried what he was now up to.  It had all been so difficult to understand, that your head still spun; and even in this new side of Hux, you couldn’t help but try and pre-emptive his agenda.  Despite the safety of your new rooms, and the exhaustion of the extra weight you carried daily you found it difficult to rest.  Too much went on inside your busy mind; and sleep when you could settle into it was short.  Sleep had been for a long time now, something that no longer something that came naturally to you.  It wasn’t that you were actively punishing yourself by avoiding seeking it; just that it was becoming harder to find as each day went by. 

When you did manage sleep; you found yourself waking suddenly.  Panting and shaking, from vivid dreams and nightmares of the twins.  Dark dreams that in your dreamscape; painted a more solid version of your worries for your children.  The natural fears that came with parenthood, were increased tenfold given the children’s named father.  He refused to renounce them, even for their own safety and you would lay panicked and awake at night.  Your imagination, and frugal dreams supplying nightmares of their own.  Leaving you to worry all the more, in the silent hours that should have been set aside by your sub-consciousness, for dreamless recuperation.  The dreams were not the only thing that woke you, all too frequently you were woken by kicks and bumps.  The children growing inside you, not yet able to understand the different uses for night or day.  Now you were used to sleeping more in cat naps than a full cycle, and you longed wistfully for full nights of sleep.  The lack of rest leaving you zombified and it left your body; bloated and exhausted. 

Too restless of mind to allow yourself to remain in bed with your legs resting, you began pacing.  Slow steps around the rooms, that given the quiet of night, often ended in you roaming instead then downstairs, empty halls.  Enjoying the small freedoms that had come with Hux’s confession to Arabella.  The darkness enveloping you like armour, keeping your movements hidden from the house, and more importantly; **Him**.  

You had seen Hux once or twice as you darted to hide in side corridors and behind doors, but never Ren.  Still you were afraid to be alone with him, even though he hadn’t made so much as an effort to touch your hands.  Pristine as always. though now equally as pale and restless as yourself as he walked the halls and empty rooms, obligingly pretending not to have seen you.  You knew he saw you, oftentimes you could hear him faltering in the smooth gait of his steps, as he passed you by.  For all the harshness; he showed you day-to-day, he was too intuitive to you, not to know what you were about. You would freeze, listening with your eyes screwed shut to the shuffles of reluctant feet, almost as though he wanted to call you out of your hiding holes.  Taking a breath or two, before he would regain momentum and carry on, and you would then open your eyes to safely watch him pass you by.  His shoulders set, and on the few times you had seen it, his face a blank canvas of thoughts; neither showing anger or concern at your actions.  Though you knew him well enough to have guessed by know it was all a farce; he always knew where you where. 

Then there was the other thing that haunted your dreams, like the one that had woken you tonight; nights like these were the worst.  Tonight, you had dreamed of both him, and Ren fucking you; though the sex had been somewhat less humiliating than it had ever been in true-life.  These were becoming too common, you would open your eyes to escape from dreams that had you, sweating and writhing on the cool cotton sheets.  Your body woken suddenly from the sensations of languidly breathless sex, that seemed now to plague you at least once on most nights.

The sensation of Hux’s cock almost real, as it plunged inside you; making you gasp.  The softness in both sets of eyes, one dark and soft, the other clear and piercing; as they watched you being fucked.  Lips soft, and hands pliable as they worked you to shuddering cries.  Or being tenderly touch, stroked by two sets of hands, as you lay warm between him and Ren.  The memories of how the flat planes of their chests had felt; Ren’s hard chiselled frame, and Hux’s more lithe one.  Their skin, warm and pliable under you; leaving you wet and dizzy as you woke alone.  Your dreams becoming now, more complex and based across a long theme of sex driven emotions. 

Fever bright and vividly alive with Hux and Ren, yourself all too often at the centre.  Making you blush to recall some of them, as you had sat trying to calm yourself in your empty bed chamber.  Your sheets stained with more than just salt sweat and tears; on more than one occasion.  You tried to console yourself with lies, telling yourself that it was just that you missed being touched.  Refusing to give into the appalled guilt, that it could signal more.  Was it just that you were touch starved, or was it really that you did miss them?  Was it even possible to miss someone who had hurt you so badly?  It was not as though you had ever been able to experience, a normal and consenting sex life.  No had never been a word Hux allowed you to utter, let alone listen to.  They had striven to wring each ounce of pleasure from your unwitting body, and then left you high from the effects.  Always they had taken pleasure in seeing, and feeling you cum, never had they been selfish in that regards.  Had you of wanted that, then the idea of being with two men could have been a heady, but palpable choice for you.

Preferable were the other nights, the ones where you instead had the other dreams; the ones where you got to hold you children.  Even if they seemed to sometimes hold edges of terror around the middle; these ones were still the hardest to wake from.  Not so much for your children’s sakes; they would be waiting for you once you woke, nestled warm and safe inside of you.  But the way you had stood along-side both Ren and Hux, when they joined you as an easy and accepted equal.  It was a future you wouldn’t hope for, and hated being taunted by your desires to be so.  Frustration lacing your waking hours as you swallowed back the frustration, that it would never be.  Both in public and private you longed to be involved in your children’s lives, to hold their hands through the public gaze and be seen by his subjects as their mother.  In these dreams you had openly cared for them too, and they had seen to it that you had been regarded with honour.  From these dreams you would wake not breathless, but instead to tear stained pillows.  The cold barren knowledge that they were futures denied to you. 

You didn’t know how you were to be addressed once the children came of age to be presented.  But you assumed they would do so with you locked from the public gaze.  He wouldn’t take them from you, but you would never be granted the rank of equal you would need to parent them.  Though he kept to a refusal not to discuss it until after their birth, he also kept steadfast to his assurances that they would need you.  Adding that whilst he was prepared to let you stay for the remainder of your pregnancy with his sister, which by default meant the babies too but he would want you **all** back on Naboo soon after.  He would return to rule his court and galaxy, but was adamant that you would be returning to him.  He was prepared to relinquish a temporary hold on you all, but no longer than a year.

As you understood one would be his heir, the other Ren’s apprentice when the time came.  Though after some discussions with Arabella; he also eventually gave you a choice.  Giving to you the decision to remain here; or to return with him to Naboo once the children reached the appropriate age to be shown at court.  Promising again, that neither one would signal a removal of you in their lives, that you could visit, and they journey out here. 

You were not to answer yet on your choice.  Arabella had instructed you to think it over, though you already knew what your answer would be.  There was no way you would be separated; how could you be expected to not to want to reside with them.  Hux had known this, and battled for an early show of compliancy in his requests to have you with them.  A compromised result was then agreed on, not to move you until the children were over their first full year of infancy.  By then he assured his sister; you could announce your decision to stay here, or to accompany them to Naboo.

Stressful and intimidating as they were; the results of all the argumentative discussions seemed to have eventually resulted in you finding a haven of sorts; and not the place Hux had wanted to send you to.  That Arabella had refused to, stating it was too dangerous to have you travel more.  Ren had looked sceptical; though had listened when Hux, desperate to regain her approval had agreed.  Both men assuring her too that you were neither a prisoner, nor his slave.  Assuring her that they would do better by you now, assuring you both that you were a free woman; of sorts.  You were not to be allowed the full freedom of the galaxy; though you were to be granted more privacy and choices.  For now, your new sanctuary was to be the Hux’s family home, and you agreed to stay there for the children’s sakes.  In its own way still very much a private prison; but you were to be given full range of it.  You were to be permitted to come and go as you pleased around the house, and nearby surroundings.   Even access into the nearby city of Sraparus was permitted, so long as you did not try to approach the space port with the exception of; the First Order docks.  Here troops would be given orders that should you approach them; you were to be given escort at any time to Hux’s location.  Or failing that, Ren’s or the palaces on Naboo. 

The deathtroopers were remain with you indefinitely, and outside of the house and gardens; you were to be escorted at all times.  Ren had been the one to insist on this part of the negotiations.  Breaking his silence to insist on, gifting the full first battalion as a personal guard to you.  He argued they were for your protection; as much as his children, and for this you were grateful.  It would be stupid not to plan for the day someone who meant the Emperor harm, would discover your children’s sire; was either Hux’s or Ren’s.  Even in this backwater gossip spread like wildfire, especially amongst the house servants.  You were not an idiot though.  The troops would also serve a dual purpose; they were also his only conceivable way of stopping you from another attempt to escape Hux.  But it was better than before, you told yourself.  This was a small compromise from him for now; but it had earnt you a freedom of sorts.  With that had been the last of the negotiations, and the announcement of Hux’s plans to return to Naboo. 

The negotiations complete; Hux had less reasons to be in the same room as yourself.  He seemed almost wistful, as he stared at your swollen stomach at the shared mealtimes with his sister.  The reservation he displayed around you; was a side of the mighty Emperor you hadn’t seen before.   Making you clutch wide eyed to your belly in a gesture of needless protectiveness.  Their answering touch reminding yourself of the very reason you were compelled to endure this company.  You still had a host of yearning questions; that devoid of your courage had gone unanswered.  Still too frightened even now of his reactions to you; should you force yourself to ask them. 

Instead their conversation around you, always seemed always to be kept light, and to a minimum, though unlike before; now you were encouraged to join in.  Sometimes mild political topics you no longer had knowledge of, or local news.  Careful to keep the subject neutral, nothing that would draw attention to your situation, and make you uneasy, and nothing you really had enough knowledge of to converse freely in.  They would have explained if you wanted them to though, but it was simpler not to ask.  It wasn’t as though you were unused to being silent around your betters, and it was better to watch and observe to think it over later. 

You couldn’t tell if your appearance at meal times angered Ren or not. You could sense he was not happy about this more subdued Hux.  You felt his gaze as much as you saw it, aware he was uneasy and full of ire around you.  Honeyed eyes, now dark with an almost tangible rage, as he pushed food around his plate.  For all you risked igniting his temper; you would have asked him for the answers you dare not ask Hux. If it wasn’t that you always felt, so much like prey ready for the slaughter around the two men.  Anger radiated off Ren, heated white-hot like fire; that made you wonder what stayed his tongue.  Unsure if it was the pregnancy alone that stilled both the verbal lashing and his hand.  Had this of been months ago he would have let that fury fly; and called you out for what you had done to Hux.  That he showed loyalty first to his lover despite the crimes against you, rubbed more salt into an already open wound.  Perhaps it was not the questions that you feared; perhaps it was fairer to say you were simply not ready for the answers, or the questions you could be asked in return for their answers.  A part of you longed for the familiarity in their touches, your body aching for their caresses; though thankfully nobody had guessed yet, except possibly Ren.  But he was too often away to act on them, and when he did return he kept his distance.  Ren thankfully came seldom to the evening’s table; though when he did he took care with his appearance.  He would appear freshly combed, and formally dressed for dinner escorting Hux.  His clothing pristine, and always neatly matched to Hux’s choice of attire.  No easily discernible clues as to his missing whereabouts.  Then you would all eat together, a wooden farce of moving forwards that you knew needed to be faced.  Arabella would often encourage you to discuss your pregnancy, to let them know personally of any changes, or needs daily.  Something which would make both men’s eyes darken as you spoke, their faces alive with excitement, especially when you spoke of changes to you.  They would listen as you explained a sleepless night, or a small complaint such as heartburn.  Hux offering concern, and suggesting you request your handmaidens attend to swollen ankles, and to take more rest, each time you yawned.  Ren’s lips instead curling into a tiny smile at his lover’s concern, smirking as you tried to pass any exhaustion from restless dreaming of them; off as the babies moving inside of you.  You didn’t know how much he really knew; your children should be shielding you.  But from the rushing of blood to your cheeks, he had to have guessed you were lying and why.  But the smile and amusement, was absent from Hux’s face as Ren tossed veiled taunts at you.  The only thing Hux would offer, were his condolences, at your tiredness, and promises that provisions of more sleep aids, and safe remedies would be sent.  Openly doing what he could to help relieve what he could, whilst his cheeks would darken to red as he made eye contact during Ren’s teasing. 

The shock the first time he did it dousing you like iced water, that quickly turned heated.  He still wanted you, you realised, and it shamed him that he did.  Fecund and round you displayed to him the virility of his lust, and though he still seemed to stay away he remembered it well.  You felt mixed at this knowledge, and had you been some scheming courtier you would have found a way to work this to your benefit.  Already you were to learn the paperwork had been started to legitimize your children as his heirs.  Running was no longer an option, and to do so would be treason now, there would be no place to hide. For their sake, they needed you to behave civilly to their fathers.  It would not do for you to be the one, to seem lacking in these regards; you told Arabella at her first offer to have you dine separately.  You had no duty to these monsters, but you did every bit, your children. 

At one time, you would have requested something from Hux; just to demand he make good his apology.  Even a few months ago; if nothing physical then there would have been a fierce desire to have him grovel and spew platitudes.  Now you couldn’t see how it would be for the best.  There wasn’t enough money in the galaxy to make good what had happened.  Nothing would ever make up for what he had stolen from you; your virtue was lost forever.  Then there was the imprisonment, the daily humiliations, and rapes.  You could never expect return to your old life, even if there were elements of it still standing, nor did you entirely feel you belonged there anymore.  Your only sense of purpose and belonging for you now, was to the one think he had told you he wouldn’t take from you; your children.  For all they had freed you with words, you were still as trapped as ever.  Even if you ran, it would hurt the one woman who had shown you kindness, and no one who sheltered you would be safe.  You were as much still the prisoner you had been before, and the only person who hadn’t worked this out was Arabella, but if you ran now you would show distain for everything she had worked to gain you what she saw as freedom.

 

 

   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to get this in before I leave for Celebration. I will answer emails before I go, and I apologise profoundly for the slowness, but I have so much to plan.   
> The airline I am flying with refused to change my second ticket from what had been my partners name to my friends, so I am traveling alone. Which is scary, but I am excited to be there and this will be my first trip to America. If you're off have a brilliant time!   
> The next chapters are more back to the plot line, than this which I felt was needed and I plan on addressing Ren a little more in them too.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken a while, I have had an amazing holiday, but had so much to do on my return.

Night time seemed to once again be your haven, separating you from the starkness of your haunted reality.  The darkness pressed soothingly around you.  Wrapping you in its anonymity; comforting in the solidness of its embrace.  The quietness that came with the still of night allowed you to think freely and unfettered by fear of reprisal or misstep from others; only your opinion mattered here.  It was soothing.  Sorting your overworked thoughts into congeable actions; that almost gave solutions as to what you wanted.

That even now, weeks later; you were lost without the daily guidance of your captor.  It was only to be expected; after all that had transpired in your turbid relationship.  Hux had cleverly spent the months of your capture conditioning both your mind and body to need him.  It has been a year now in his captivity, and he had ensured that his self’s and Ren’s control stayed the only constant to your servitude.  Going as far to train your body to need him; to miss his touch, and then you thought begrudgingly; allowed his shame to distance himself from you. 

Arabella was kind, and genuinely thought to try and undo the wrongs that had been committed to you.  But Hux was correct in his insistence than had she of not known you personally, she would have thought no better of you.  You liked her though and it was something you didn’t let taint your relationship with her.  She had led such a different life to you, it was easy to see how it hadn’t even registered to her, your terror was too well masked.  The lowliness of your position too easily concealing your actions as nerves.  She thought she knew of her brother’s darker appetites, and assumed you played willingly in them but were nervous of your previous alliances.  You worked hard to keep her from feeling any guilt to her naivety.  Drawing heavily on the experience you had of controlling yourself for Hux; to conceal your inner thoughts.      

You were intelligent enough to realise the psychological scaring was an intentional gift from Hux.  That missing him and Ren was not healthy, and they didn’t seem to care now that you did.  You knew so many moments of anger, at that.  Letting sense sober you until you fully understood yourself to be the victim.  Guiltily reflecting that it made wanting them near you, to care for you all the more disgusting in your moments of self-sufficiency. 

Loneliness was made all the worse that they choose now to leave you alone.  They had agreed to let you stay here, though you knew Hux visited his home many times; yet stayed away from you.  They had both been back on Naboo only a week before their first visit.  Pressing business, had apparently called Hux back to Arkanis.  He had stayed two full cycles, though you saw neither hide nor hair of him whilst he was in the house.  Just a solitary glimpse of him strolling the grounds, when you had taken advantage of a break in the constant downpour to get some fresh air.  There had been no prior warning for you of his first visit.  Not even from Arabella; making you suspect that she had not even known herself of his plans.  Nor did he come on any occasion with the collection of nobles that swamped his table last visit. 

But it was no less a commotion for you when you saw him that first time.  Breath ragged, as you shrunk back into the trees that had been planted around the craggy gardens.  He had been hurrying back into the house, and your heart had both leaped at the sight of him.  Plummeted as Ren came out to escort him in.  The redhead hadn’t turned around, but Ren had.  Keeping his gaze firmly on the crop of trees where you hid, as he held the door open for his lover; leaving without so much as a nod to you.  He knew you were there hiding; he was too well attuned with your Force-signature not to have realised it was you.  Honestly you expected at least one of them to visit you that night, settling into disappointment as their visit wore on.  Struggling to find sleep at night; knowing that somewhere in this house they too resided.  No doubt laid in bed with one another, naked and entwined together.  Did either lay awake unable to sleep?  Restless from thinking as you did now, confused and wanting you? Or were they both fast asleep, military practicality overruling any emotive need, and allowing to sink easily into obliviated rest?

By the third morning, they had gone.  Their shuttle no longer in the family launch pad, when you had snuck down to look, and Arabella confirming their departure that evening.  To your knowledge Ren never visited again, and each subsequent visit of Hux’s was if anything more discreet.  You feigned a calmness and nonchalance, you didn’t quite feel on each arrival. The discovery of each of his visits prompting a nervous sort of excitement that you couldn’t quite grow into, nor could you settle to nothingness.  It ate at you with jittery nerves as you spent the days, restless with anxiety and come the evenings, you had subtly had tried to make more of your appearance at each evening meal.  Apprehensive that he should find you well and unable to pick fault with you.  The time apart and his subdued behaviour, still having you tread eggshells around him.  Aware you still needed him to show approval at your appearance, should he see you.

Tonight, almost a month later to his first visit, you had heard more whispers of another of his late arrivals from servants.  Substantiated to facts by his sister’s nervous face, when you questioned her.  He had for some reason chosen to travel by First Order TIE fighter this time, and even though he was aware you knew of his arrival, he had still chosen not to join you both for the evening meal.  Your nerves made it hard to eat, and you blamed indigestion and fatigue on your barely touched plate.  Pleased that as the evenings dwindled into night time, you had kept your attempts to impress him still restrained.  Hoping the addition of light cosmetics, and the more elaborate dress went unnoticed by Arabella. 

That and the disappointment in your voice too; when you were forced to red faced; bid her a good night.  Slowly returning to your bed chamber, to wait out another lonely night.  Surely, you had hoped, he would want to see you, to check on his heirs you would have thought.  They were important, even if you were not. 

Had you of not trusted Arabella’s word; you would have doubted her well-meant warnings to you, that he was even in the building. 

It unsettled you, that he kept away, that he had done this then stripped yourself of him.  Guilt you guessed at best played a large part, though he had been so cold in the negotiations that you deliberated on yourself falling out of favour with him.  Perhaps given the guilt he couldn’t bring himself to physically want you anymore?  But you should have known better, then to work yourself up over the oddness of his behaviour.  This was what he did to you wasn’t it?  He set you up for a fall every time, and now you were doing it for him; without instructions.  You should have known better by now, you should have worked out how to block the anxiety.  He stayed away deliberately to test you, to see how you fared without him; to check how well he had conditioned you at best.  He had to be, because if it was something more, you would know.  

Back in your room, you had dismissed everyone as soon as they had loosened the fastenings to your dress.  The expended energy to look nice, once again hardly worth the effort.  Weariness blended with heartache; making your limbs harder to lift, and refusing to remove the heavy fabric you assured those who offered to help.  You deeded desperately to breakdown and cry, but were as always unable to let yourself fall apart before them; you had been enough of a spectacle for one life.  You knew that the handmaidens probably wouldn’t have blinked an eyelid if you had of wept; it would be easily passed off as hormones.  but not to Astrid.  It was likely barely noticeable to anyone but you, but she was certainly happy to see you unsettled and upset.  It was present in her mannerisms and voice, as she offered you more assistance.  The reluctance she wouldn’t be there to watch the first tear fall there, as she moved with a sense of disappointed glee at your behaviour, towards the door.  She shot you one last, openly triumphant look as she shut the door behind you, making you wonder how long before she was going to report your red rimmed eyes to Hux.  Your overplayed imagination creating the scene in your head, half wishing it would fetch him here to see for himself.  You had waited until they had all completely left, before hiding beneath the covers.  Drawing the sheets up completely over your face, making a nest from your blankets to cocoon yourself in your misery.  The first tears fell, splattering into the pillow, and you shuddered as you choked back the noise of your sobbing.  With a surprisingly heavy heart, you accepted that if Hux had even eaten tonight; then it was most likely a lonely meal in his own chambers.  Unless he had fetched company again?  The outlet of emotions calming, as you expended the last of your energy giving into your emotions, your mind fading into the calmness of the mentally exhausted.  Churlishly you wondered how much he knew of your sensitive state, if this was all really just him punishing you for Arabella knowing.      

But if he knew of you being upset; it had made no difference to his plans.  He had still kept his distance from you.  Not even going to enquire after the wellbeing of his children, you told yourself bitterly, laying tilted onto your side.  That last thought making you cross, he was deserting not only you, but that which he had claimed so passionately to care for.  It renewed your tears and pressing the pillow into your face you sobbed again, this time not caring about the noise.  Using the down filled cloth, to muffle your pained and noisy breathless sobs.  Hiccupping loudly into the cool fabric as you shuddered, letting out the grief and disappointment.  It was likely as much your hormones as sorrow, you told yourself in a vain attempt at comforting yourself.  Reminding yourself continuously that it was better for you if he stayed well away from you.  Heartbrokenly trying not to imagine him in somebody else’s embrace, wondering how many of his concubines kept him busy now at the palace.

Sometime towards the very early hours, sleep eventually claimed you.  Your fractious mind forcing you into lonely, and twisted parody of sleep, Nightmares fracturing each broken segment of delirious sleep.  Each time becoming more terrifying until they forced you awake to calm yourself.  Holding sleep back, as long as you could manage until your eyes would close. Waking each time groggily to rollover to return to sleep and wake again to an otherwise empty bedroom, and your cheeks and pillows continually soaked wet through, with salt tears.

_It was sometime in the darkest point of the night that comes before dawn that you finally woke fully and sat up.  Freeing yourself from another terrified dream of danger to your children, this one the worst you had ever had.  Your terror had been so real that you could almost taste it, and where grateful to have woken.  In it, you had been in labour; imprisoned in a darkened and damp stone cave.  Cold and soaked through with frigid stale sweat; shivering despite the physical stress your body was under.  A nameless and shapeless monster lurked; prowling noiselessly outside what you guessed to be your cell.  Fear gripped you, your mouth frozen, unable to call for help.  A locked metal framed door, the only way in and out separated you from it.  fear kept you incapable of yelling; nobody was even aware you were here to be able help you.  You huddled tighter on yourself, not for warmth; but for comfort._

_This dream unlike all the others that evening, showed you still pregnant, and your children yet to be born.  Yet somehow it was more numbing in its fear, than any of the others.  You knew that whatever it was that waited outside the chamber; would enter the moment your children were born, devouring them the instant that were here.  You had been frightened for them, and to protect them, had striven desperately to hide that you were in labour.  Tears had streamed down your cheeks at the twisting pain to your abdomen, your then unconscious dream face slick with them.  Now your waking cheeks; a parody of your dream-self’s face, soaked with salt and sticky as they dried stiff.  You gasped for steadying breaths, thankful that you had never reached the point at which you had given birth before you woke.  Too afraid of the dream, to face it.  Knowing that it had been dangerously close, and instinctively aware that what was to come after had been terrifying._

_Now you rolled back under the covers and onto your side.  Rubbing your closed eyes, as you groggily tried to convince your racing heart to steady its tempo.  Something more than the dream had woken you, and you struggled to remember it as you willed yourself back to a sleepy calm.  Remonstrating that it was only a dream, dreams could not hurt you, and you were safe here.  Outside in the night sky; rain lashed down the glass pained windows.  Beating a heavy fingered tempo against the closed window pane, and you opened your eyes to watch it stream down._

_Only the grogginess of latent sleep stopped you from jumping at the dark figure that came into focus.  Ren was laid next to you.  Sprawled across what should have still been the still empty side of your bed, watching you.  His eyes unblinking and cat-like as you stared back into the amber depths, as he silently waited for you to register his presence.  At no point had anyone mentioned Ren arriving at Hux’s home.  In fact, you were sure he was anywhere but Arkanis; Arabella would have told you otherwise.  So, the figure lounged next to you was confusing at best at its proximity to you.  His head resting on the spare pillow; his burnished bronze eyes making a series of slow blinks before he breathed in deeply; shuffling closer to you.  His fingers brushing back the tangle of hair, tutting as he brushed back your tears.  Another deep inhalation from you, and he cocked one eyebrow expectantly, as he looked down at you.  His tongue nimbly wetting his lips, before he gave in to your silence and spoke the question._

_“You woke me little pet, what troubles you?”_

_That you had woken him seemed to dwell on your conscious only a moment, before you settled back to think on his question.  Dreams like this were not entirely uncommon. You already had experienced so much to fear in your waking hours; that it was only to be expected that some would from time to time carry to your subconscious.  That it was what seemed to make it hard to decipher what had been so unsettling about this one, why this one had left you so unsettled.  A gentle fluttering inside made you both look down, the skin around your navel rippling as one of the children settled to a more comfortable position._

_He seemed to feel no animosity towards you for waking him and had been genuine in his request to hear you out.  It coaxed your reply easily, spilling the whole narrative of your dream from your mouth all the more expansive and simply for his solemn interest.  His rumbling voice soothing as he offered little reassurances when the unfounded fear had you shivering.  Pulling you closer to the security of his arms.  His breath warm on your face, as each giant hand moved behind you to soothingly massage your lower back.  Listening for once without hint of amusement at your discomfort, or teasing you for being frightened of a dream._

_Several times though, his brows knitted together in a frown and his lips pursed as he though over your tale.  Speaking to ask more questions on your dream, asking you to better explain bits of it.  As best you could you spoke quickly and concisely; not wanting to anger the patiently waiting Ren.  Wondering briefly how you had woken him, not stopping to consider that he should even in this be in the house; his rooms where too far away to hear you scream from them._

_Clearly something in your story touched something with him.  Though you were not sure what it was, nor would you get an answer should you ask.  Where the twins genuinely at risk, were you right to be worried?  Or was he just puzzled and found your fears unnecessary, they did after all claim to be able to offer them the best protection.  He looked almost confused and you expected more questions when you were finished, and almost asked ones of your own.  Stopped when he instead pulled you tight to him, tucking your ungainly form under his chin._

_It allowed you to breathe deeply of a familiar scent and you strangely found it relaxing.  Settling into the possessive and secureness of his touch, your muscles gave up the tensions they held in readiness for your worry.  You told yourself that after what it had cost you, you would not be making the same mistakes you made with Novak again.  He was here and you would trust him.  if you did that, nothing but himself or Hux would be permitted to hurt you. Wordlessly he tightened his grip, on you and you dug deeper against his taut chest.  The shifting of well-honed muscles comforting, knowing that at least in this very moment they were safest place to be of all.  If there was a true risk they would stop at nothing to eliminated the thing that had most disturbed you.  Specifically given the threat was also to his children._

_Gently his lips sought your sweat flushed forehead.  Ignoring the coating of sweat that had gathered there to press warm kisses against it.  Fingers dipping to push away the cloth that covered you shoulder, his mouth moving along the ridges of your shoulder.  His lips trailed sucked kisses into the ticklish apex of your shoulder; where it met your neck.  Pulling panted gasps, as your body unravelled to his touch, rolling onto your back and tilting your chin to allow him to nibble gently up towards the curve of your cheek.  Your skin flushed with the easy heat of your arousal and he pecked at your jawline, then swiftly took your lips in his.  Mindlessly you kissed him back, your tongue swiping across his; exchanging tastes of one another as you pressed into him._

_He pulled away, clutching your face, his breath washing over you as he looked down brushing his thumb over your lower lip.  The bridge of his nose stroked your own as he pulled your forwards; planting more kisses against your swollen lips.  Intermitted by brushing fingertips against the tender spots he knew so well, yet seldom paid attention to; kissing away your confusion at his gentleness.  A final kiss, and he clasped your face between both hands, pressing his forehead to his, before tilting to your ear.  Whispering both his first and last words breathlessly into your ear:_

_“You need to wake-up.”_

You jumped suddenly from sleep, to this time find yourself awake and in the real world. This time there was no grogginess, just the rapid thudding of your heart in your chest.  Slowly you brought fingers up to your lips; surprised to find them blood swollen and wet.  The dream had felt so real, and your body tingled with the ebbing arousal.  The rain part of your dream had at least been true, it was raining heavily.  Prompting you to look across the empty bed, lightening briefly flickered in the glass of the window; illuminating a soggy rain-filled landscape.  Once you would have jumped at it, but storms were all too commonplace now on this watery planet, though still as beautiful. 

You tried to sit up to watch it, ignoring the chill of the room to fight onto your shapeless side.  Giving up when the movements became too awkward and flopping back down to your side.  You had still weeks to go now and your body knew nothing but pain and discomfort.  Secretly you hung fast to the hope that like many twins these would be early.  The added weight was nothing to some of your other complaints.  Your back ached, and your legs were swollen beyond all recognition.  Gone was any shape to your ankles and come nightfall it was a relief to rest them.  Your bladder needed to be constantly emptied, and it didn’t help that you were always thirsty.  Often you wondered if it was the result of twins, or if it was just the pregnancy hormones and changes.  You coughed, your throat dry and tickly and struggled to raise yourself to help sooth it.  Deciding that a drink would be better, you swung your legs to the side of the bed.  Groaning as you struggled to pull yourself to sit on the edge of the bed, and took a swig of water from the glass on the bedside table.  Your pregnancy was well into the last stages,    

The second flash of lightening snaked down the night sky, the blinding white light easily illuminating the bedroom.  This time a second dark shape made you jump this time.  The pain as the small weights inside you jumped in sympathy at your soft yell.  Making it easy to convince yourself that this time you were really awake, and there was another body in the room. 

Slowly the adrenaline and sock wore off as the Emperor came better into focus.  His face was pale as always, stark against the dark uniform he wore.  The half-light from the garden lights, reflected from the clouds illuminating the room around him to fussy greys.  Sharpening his angular features to muted highlights of white in the shades, contrasting shadows to the sharpness of his brow and cheekbones.  His court clothing was once more replaced by a more practical tunic reminiscent of the First Order uniform he wore to battle.  The only concession to his elevated rank of Emperor was the gold thread that embroidered it and decorated the backs of the collar.  He was watching you, for once waiting for your reaction before he took the lead.  Your fingers spread around the swell of your stomach, splaying palms flat and working comforting circles over the fluttering of movement beneath it.  They were too easily aware of their surroundings now, and needed more reassurance at the sudden rush of adrenaline that had woken them.

Your thirst was forgotten as he uttered a quiet greeting and you paused, unsure what to make of it all now he was finally here.  A fluttering of anger was tinged with unease, there had been all night for him to make his presence more formally known to you, and like a coward he had stayed away.  He chose now then; the dead of night to spy on you to unsettle you, did he?  Was he so desperate to win back his seat of power with you that he would sneak in here to unsettle you with his silent presence?  If he was the least bit ashamed at how badly he had treated you; his deportment showed none of it.  His back was iron straight against the back of the chair, and his chin raised high.  His haughty gaze that of pensive indifference as he watched you shuffle comfortable from his stares.  He was taking his time to unravel your bravery and you shivered, cold seeping in under your skin.  The room already had to be kept so chilly for comfort; to stop you overheating beneath the weight of the covers.  You should have been too asleep at this late hour, to notice that it was frigidly cold.  But woken by Ren’s order and with the added downpour outside you chilled almost to ice under the weight of his stare.   

“Ren told you I was here?”

A simply spoken phrase that had your heart skipping a beat, your ears pricking at the clipped tones of his aristocratic accent as your stomach dropped low in your stomach.  It had been so long since you had heard him speak to you, yet his voice was achingly familiar, drawing more reminders from your body of what he was capable of.  Your lips parting to take more breath.  Stalling him in your confusion, your brows pulled into a frown, working over the dream of Ren telling you to wake. 

At no point had Ren told you Hux was here, there had just a single command; wake up.  Your heart sped up a little as the worried suggestion was that Ren may have been trying to tell you more before you hastily obeyed him, and woke.  Had you missed a vital command or piece of information Hux would be mad at you for?  Or was it that Ren was here after all, and Hux had assumed he would be the one to tell you and not his sister? 

Your hands found each other over the knot of bodies inside of you, twisting them in your nervousness.  He had been so long without interest at you, it felt odd to have him here.  Before he had seemed so subdues, and it had been so long since Hux had raised a hand to hurt you.  But you wore the mental scars bone deep, and as a reflex, panic threatened to take firm hold.  Quickly you ran through your options, months of training under him making you think fast and intuitively to his needs.  Cloudy thoughts would not bring to mind a solution though, and the wave of anxiousness threatened to return to nausea.  It didn’t make sense, none of tonight did.  Was this just another dream? 

You tilted your head, ignoring the small shudders that wracked your shoulders to openly stare at him in question; aware you could do little else.  You were cold and your feet almost numb with it, but it would rock your defences to move back into the covers.  He hated fidgeting as much as anything else you remembered and you were reluctant to do anything that would give him the edge over you.  Forever seemed to pass, as you both unblinkingly watched each other his eyes barely leaving your face, and then only to briefly graze your stomach and then back up.  You held somehow fast to the last, dwindling vestiges of indulgent defiance at his proximity; refusing to speak first and unable to sink to your knees.  This served you right you told your racing heart.  You had sulked when he hadn’t come to the dinner table, and now he had finally bestowed his presence on you; you dared to find it unsettling?  There was still a portion of you that wanted to walk over to him, and wished you could place yourself at his feet.  Knowing that there you at least knew your place, as much as it might make him touch you; to force him to end the impasse.  He finally stood and so quietly it was almost silent he tutted.  Hands tugging at the sides of his tunic top, to sooth it back into its perfect placement on his hips. 

He drew closer and you tensed, stiffening in worry that you had disappointed him.  Instantly drew a sharp breath as he faltered in his step. His eyes wide though the set of his jaw still at indifference Moving so fluidly and so suddenly you flinched, the twin weights in your stomach echoing in sympathy the surge of nervous energy.  Your heart surged.  Leaping into your mouth as he resumed walked over to you.  Precise clipped steps that brought with them a wash of familiar scent, enveloping you.  Drowning you once more in the smell of him, as he pulled the covers up and over your shoulders. 

His tone was a gentler rebuke than his face, as he scalded you for sitting there in the cold.  His hands where warm beneath his gloves as they ran over you, in as much appraisal as gathering warmth for you.  The backs of his knuckles tossed your sleep loosened hair from under the blankets. 

He bent over to take your foot, lifting it by the cold and swollen ankle to tuck your legs under the comforter.  Less controlled now as you sucked in air at the way you flinched in obvious discomfort at the strained flesh.  Instinctively you bit back any further noises, wishing not for the first time that you could reach and rub them as light sprung at his command from the open door of the refresher.  Emperor Hux, gritting his teeth and clamping his jaw, whilst you gave off a painfilled mewl when he took the other, more tender of your ankles in hand. 

He was uncomfortable at seeing you in pain, that was not of his choosing then?  An oddly selfish act for the one who had caused this, you thought.  It was hard not to snarl as he looked guiltily upset at your noises, but you still did not know which Hux stood in your room tonight.  Was it the subdued brother who took each of Arabella’s demands, or the proud and cruel Emperor? Finished moving your feet; he quickly tucked the other foot away with the first. Straightening up, to head for the refresher-room.  He returned swiftly.  Reaching to manually switch on a bedside lantern, before pulling back the bottom of your bed covers.  Freeing your newly warming feet back to the chill of the bedroom.  Not offering any polite requests to sit there.  Invading both your bed, and personal space; as he pulled your feet onto his lap. 

All annoyance at his assumptions faded as he made his intentions known.  Rubbing lotion over the oedema, to massage the fluids gathered there back up your leg.  It was tender at first, but as the swelling went down, it became blissful and you closed your eyes as he took the second ankle between his hands.  He was as with everything he did expert at massaging your feet, and as you gave a small groan of pleasure at his touch, his voice broke through in query. 

“Your attendants, do you not ask them to do this for you?”

You shook your head, eyes flickering open.  The handmaidens had become more approachable, but you still felt wrong asking them to do something a menial and intimate as personal care.  It had taken so long to gain back small scrapings of your independence, that was hard to lose the mindset that these were not extensions of your jailers.  The set of his shoulders reminded you at once, why you should not have allowed yourself to relax in his presence.  He reminded you that it was their role and that he would speak to them.  That they were here to serve you, to make you more comfortable, and you had more than yourself to care for.  You needed your body to be fit for the role it played, in the First Order. 

You waited for him to finish his lecture.  Not daring to add that you didn’t want almost strangers to massage you.  You had endured enough unwanted touches from other sources, you didn’t want to be conditioned to accept more. 

He huffed when you didn’t offer up thanks for his concern.  Still keeping up brushing the soothing circles into the muscles of your legs.  Hux clearly confused at your ungrateful behaviour and that as it often did, seemed to have led him to anger.  At once you drew smaller on yourself, absurdly trying to hide your face from him, by tilting your face to the window.  He had gone from silently watching you sleep, then strangely caring, to reprimanding you so quickly it left your head dizzy.  Spinning with confusion at his grumpiness, and the length of time he was in juxtaposition to that, spending ensuring you were well.  He stared intently at your legs, focusing on the task he had set himself.  Making you wonder if Ren had woken you, if this was the only purpose for his visit.  Clearly, it was never Hux’s intention to disturb you this evening, and that he had just come to gloat over the mound that contained his children.  Your massage was by way of him easing his guilt at disturbing his prized nerfs sleep, after all; swollen ankles would not have any effect on the health of his children.  You decided to play it safe offering a small thank you for his concern, offering to behave better for the sake of your children.    

This seemed to stall him and maybe, your traitorous heart supplied in hope; he had decided the oedema at your legs required more attention than his answer? Meaning he did care for your wellbeing as much as he did his children?  He looked up, and you blushed as his eyes caught yours stating at him, quickly averting your gaze.  Hux clicked his tongue in amusement at your red cheeks though didn’t pause in his task.  Continuing to work both legs alternatively until they were well oiled by the moisturiser and your ankles once more defined.  Wiping his oily, gloved, fingers on the bedsheet, before placing your legs under the covers, and moving to sit up by your hips.

The brief task over, stiffness returned in his posture.  No longer was he here under a purpose, and once more he was the distant Hux you knew only too well.  You dared to sneak another look at him from beneath lowered lashes, Ren’s warning that Hux didn’t know how to fail oddly poignant tonight.  He was uncomfortable you realised, his back kept straight by years of training deploring him from ever being unsure in his actions.  Gradually you tilted your face to the side, until you were angled to better look at him.  Watching as his fists held into loose fists. 

He wasn’t fidgeting you realised; he was too well bred for that.  But he was nervous about something.  Tonight, was the closest he had chosen to been to you in a long time, and the first time he had outright touched you, since Arabella had discovered your complete origins.  You were entirely alone with him.  Vulnerable you realised; and your heart thundered.  There was no way that at this time of night, that Arabella knew he was here.  Your breaths came slow and steady, forcing yourself to calm; as you head swirled.   From this close you could smell him.  Not just the cologne he wore, but the underlining scent of his skin mingled with the soaps he used to bathe.  He smelt spicy, yet masculine making your lips part to scent him deeper.

“Arabella tells me you miss me?”

It wasn’t healthy but you did, you realised.  His sister speaking for you, what you had refused to allow yourself to comprehend.  Something about his reluctance to stay away, made you suspect he did also.  It came to you again; ‘he doesn’t know how to fail yet Pet.’  It sent a chill running down your spine, where you what Ren had spoken at?  In what way could he possibly have failed with you? 

Slickened leather cupped your chin forcing your full attention to him.  Nimble hands once more manipulating you to where he wanted you.  A corner of the blankets had slid off your shoulder, and he reached over to pull it back into place.  Only noticing it had been missing as you felt the comforting weight of it back over one cotton clad shoulder.  This close you could read every mark, on his pale marked skin.  The smattering of freckles that danced over the bridge of his nose as he wrinkled in realisation at your reaction to how close you where to him.

“It isn’t good for you to miss me Pet.”  

His words cut like a knife through butter, straight to your fragile heart.  Both of you already knew whatever it was between you was not wholesome, but he had to drive the wedge closer and voice that knowledge.  Emotional as always, you took in a shaky breath to hide the choke that would have come had you of voiced you reply, dipping your head instead in a single nod of affirmation.  This was one of his more crueller of games then; he had come to set you aside.  To leave you to motherhood, whilst constantly you would be reminded by his proximity of your own loneliness.  Anger surged up inside you, engulfing you in madness.  A flash of it making you bold, before you to quell it to a controllable level; making you reach forward and kiss him.  It was the only time you had ever made a move to instigate his touch.  Though as his mouth barely gave under you, you came to understand it was not the reward you would have guessed at receiving. You knew him slightly less than you had realised, your earlier assumptions to hazarding a guess that he wanted as much as you to lean over and kiss you back gone.  Your hand slid onto his thigh, sliding forwards as you pleaded with all you had left to bargain with, not to be set side.  Fingers gripping your wrists, tugging them free from him. His iron resolve was what stopped him from taking advantage as he pulled your hand away from what you knew to be his firming cock.  It was a cheap move, but it proved your theory right, that if it wasn’t for his sister’s reaction should she find him here, he would have taken more than a kiss from you.  Physically he still wanted you. 

“You don’t want me.  It is a state I have conditioned you to.  Just as I have fallen foul to my own manipulations of you.  I should know better, but unlike my father I have not the strength to walk away from you.  It makes me weak, you make me weak.  An indulgence I should never have allowed myself, now it costs me more each day.”

You shuddered.  Dashed cold by the realisation of his move, you straightened up your mouth pulling tight, puckered in anger.  He had spent months telling you to give into him, and now that he had won; he no longer found you appealing.  It had been your struggle that he enjoyed all along then had it?

Your arm wrapped your waist, and with an open snarl you spoke.  Squaring your jaw to him, as you demanded that if that truly was it; he go and leave you alone.  Tears pricked at your eyes, as you set yourself to the humiliation of him following through with your request.  Assuring yourself and the others you harboured, you didn’t need him; that it wasn’t like he wasn’t still going to provide for his children.  Suddenly it struck you and you demanded to know; that if you were an indulgence; what were his children to him.   

The mouth that took yours without warning was neither kind, nor gentle.  Teeth clacked against teeth as he kissed you, your stomach preventing him from pushing you as speedily as he wanted onto your back.  The movements still rough though as you lowered yourself to his command.  It didn’t entirely answer your question, more that it pushed it from your mind as breathlessly he pulled you onto your side, laying besides him.

His fingers combed your hair, both hands clasping the sides of your face; thumbs stroking your cheeks.  He tutted again, brushing aside the tears, before leaning into press his lips to the saline tracts.  Taking your mouth in a gentler kiss that your melded easier to. 

“Pet. Kitten…”

You waited, but he followed those words with a sealed mouth; biting back whatever words he had to follow with another kiss.  Closing his eyes, the words he had yet to utter lost to the deep breath he took before he swallowed.  His eyes opening to take in yours, sighing again as fingertips stroked your neck, brushing along the collar you had still refused to remove.  There was pain behind the silver flecked eyes, and you wondered if it was his own, or if he regretted your own.  Fear gripped you, sinking heavier in your stomach as you stammered your query; had he tonight then, come to put you aside.  He swallowed, shaking his head.  His lips parted, the relief in his face, put asunder any more thoughts of that ilk.

“No Kitten. I am much too possessive of you and that that you carry; to allow you to leave me.”


	33. Chapter 33

You nodded.  His words reverberating within your head as he looked so reverently across at you.  His voice still monotone neutral; letting his choice of words carry the weight of your sentence.  His face hovered above yours as you shrunk back into the headboard, trying to appear submissive to his body.  There was a macabre sense of relief in his possessiveness, in his admittance that it wasn’t just his babies he wanted.

You were a weakness then?  Something that should have served a purpose, and then been terminated.  You were torn by his admission.  It was hard not to admit a sense of vitriolic pride that you of all people had defied the Emperor.  That somehow you had unwittingly forced him to bend as much as he had you.  Then there was anger that he had so hurt you, that he had wanted you to become dependent on him, but then dared to admit that he was wrong to want you to. 

Your side had lost in a major war, and as their prisoner, you had been placed in that holding cell to one way or another die.  Even as low placed as you were in the Resistance, Hux was too methodical to ever let any survivors go; he would not allow loose ends.  Your fate would have been to either face immediate execution with your cell block.  Or worse had another taken your place that day; a possible transfer and at best a slow lingering death in a prison camp.  The men there would have been no kinder to you, and each day would have fetched new hardships into your confinement.  Instead both Ren and Hux had steadfastly refused you to meet that ending.  It would have been assumed you to had died, not that their interest in you had changed.  Every risk you faced was calculated, but above all; to their opinions, done solely to keep you alive.  Hux was wrong to argue it was better he stayed away now for entirely cowardly selfish reasons.  It was not better that you did without him and especially not Ren.  It was not right for him to take that decision from you; he had promised at the negotiations that this would be your choice and not his.  Without this cruel interest in you, you would have died; your future would not have been kinder in another’s direct hands and he had to accept that.  His recent penitence probably made his final admission that you would never be permitted to be free of him not exactly the disaster you thought it would be.  You knew that it was that claim to weakness that had kept you alive, that had dissuaded him from cutting you out of your daughter’s lives.  Now you could look upon it favourably.  In light of all the changes to your life it was this interest that was allowing you to be mother to your children.  In some strange ways you had won a little; this sacrifice had allowed the Resistance a small victory.  The Emperor’s heir would have Resistance blood ties, had this been a planned part of his sacrifice to you too? 

You visibly shook, tremors that had him looking you over in concern, asking what was wrong.  You looked at the man in a new light.  Was it possible that the need to keep you around your children not entirely an action borne from his abandonment.  Was it also his way of making amends, of showing he could care?  You couldn’t tell him what was wrong, you were not sure it was safe to take the risk yet.  If this really was what it was it was safe. But if not then asking him would only make him angry, you couldn’t afford his anger your heart couldn’t take it.  For all their brutality, they were always the most fearsome person in the room and whilst you remembered to maintain subservience and obedience to them; both Hux and Ren would protect you.  They would keep everything else that could hurt you away; but they would not hesitate to put you back into your place, physically if needed.  They were you only real risk. 

You thought on the current dangers to your children; knowing that their fathers cared for them and they had an entire army ready to protect them.  Should anyone wish to do them harm, they would be obliterated.  It finally hit, that level of protection also applied to you, their mother. Already they had told you they had killed, but you hadn’t realised that both war hardened men thought it a tribute to you.  Arabella had assured you the night of the dinner party he had killed, had that been why he had chased after you, had he really killed for your honour alone.  How many more bodies lay at your feet in some twisted tribute. How far back could you chase the bodies, was despatching the remainders of your cell done to keep your existence hidden.  Why then had you had to become a mother first, for Hux to allow himself to admit he cared for you?   Did he not know how to care for something that did not had a use for, or was it just that he considered feelings a frivolity?  He had named you many times a mother and claimed to need you for that role.  But tonight, he had for the first time admitted it was more than just his purpose for you that he would keep you.  The children aside you were no longer entirely his whore, but soon to be his children’s mother.  That title was somehow what had given you some new status, a sense of awe to the Emperor.  You knew he had raged the night you had challenged him, for what he did to you.  But that had been him cross at the accusations of his slave-whore.  The night Arabella tackled him though it was for what he did to the mother of his children.  But now had finally admitted wanting to keep you, for you.  What was different about you now?  

This admittance of possessiveness had shown you the first kindling’s of power within your gilded cage.  He had given you a place of your own, had finally allowed you to express displeasure at his treatment of you.  He had let you to stand up to him, to give an order without him hurting you.  To allow you ask him for something without his prior permission.  An action that although he hadn’t followed, he hadn’t punished you for.  For all he looked so softly at you, there were no promises of kindness or love from him.  Just the honest admission that he wanted to keep you, that he allowed himself to form some inklings of an attachment to you.  Careful to give you nothing that he could risk breaking, or bending to fit another purpose when you failed him.  Just the set of his hand on your stomach, a claim of his ownership as much as a reminder of what you were to him.  Even if he never allowed himself to touch you again, he still couldn’t bring himself to let you go and strangely you could live with that for now.  It had been so hard to admit to yourself, but you had been so very lonely without them.  Life was almost isolated without a human touch.  Hux was wrong to tell you that you didn’t want him, you knew your body and what it needed.  Deliberately conditioned to want them or not, you knew you physically missed both him and Ren. You breathed out a sigh, relieved at knowing that you were to be kept after all.  You knew you didn’t want to be set aside by them, it would have been crueller than the rape.  You had been schooled to bend so much to the mould he had set you in, that you didn’t think you could face being recast for someone else.  This change with him, the knowledge if brought; it would never be enough to completely save yourself; but it would keep you afloat.

You made a decision for yourself, gingerly reaching out for him.  Afraid but desperate to touch him for once without waiting for an order or asking his permission.  Trying to rationalise with your fear that he could hurt you; the closer you came to him.  This was not his decision to make, you told yourself, he didn’t get to pick if you wanted him or not.  No, that choice was one you could make on your own.

You were so close you could sense the radiated warmth from his skin; the heat threatening to scald the flesh from your bones; but you couldn’t stop.  For all you knew him intimately, you had never been allowed to touch him first, to explore him so explicitly.  Now he waited on you doing something it had never occurred to you to want to, let alone be permissible.  Biting on your lower lip to ground yourself, as he held still for you.  Not even blinking nothing to offer so much as a hint that this was or was not permissible.  His eyes locked with yours, staying there as yours followed every indent of his face as you sighed as he allowed you to explore him with your hands. 

Fingertips brushing the hollow under his lips you understood a little of his fascination with your skin.  He was so soft that it was hard to believe this very mouth had ordered you hurt so many times, that it was capable of such cruel actions to you.  His skin felt so different, so malleable under your two prominent fingers as you stroked the curve of his cupids bow.  Hux was so close that you could see the day’s growth of pale ginger stubble on his top lip.  Moving around his lips and across the seam where they closed, his mouth parted at you touch and afraid you jumped.  Afraid the spell was broken and how you would face his sharp tongue you pulled your wrist back, stopped as his fingers caught your hand.  It was pulled back into place at his mouth, his lips soothing your fears as he softly kissed them.    

He kept a hold of you, and almost tenderly he leaned and stroked at your nose with his own.  Small puffs of cool air against your lips as he brought his forehead to rest at yours.  The familiar smell of whiskey sour on his breath, but for once it did not phase you that he had been drinking.  By now you knew well enough how to read the subtle signs of his temperament.  His actions too precise too controlled to be intoxicated, but had it had taken strong drink to bring him here.  Had that drink lead him directly to you, or was it that he drank to gather the courage to come to your door.  You swallowed, doing your best to wet your lips.  Wondering when you began panting as wide eyed you waited.  His hands brushed up your arms under the blanket; skimming your skin.  His fingertips played with the decorative lace across the shoulders.  The thin material of your nightdress translucent where it was pressed against your skin.  It was of a style no doubt Hux would have preapproved for this stage of your pregnancy.  It was decorative and no doubt pricy, the garment still of the finest fabric and cut, but loose fitting.  It was built for the practicalities of your condition yet had to be as alluring as possible at this late stage.  Designed to still tempt the man who had thought back then, to still have you at his beck and call. 

You couldn’t understand him, thinking the body clothed by it shapeless and unalluring.  You struggled to find anything that didn’t make you feel like a fat nerf.  But as the blankets revealed more flesh to him, the pink of his cheeks and his breathy praise definitely suggested he found it otherwise.  Before now he had only ever taunted you with his softer side.  Showing you gentleness only when you had told him you would prefer another because of it.  Now he chose to be tender with you, cautious of how he moved you to position you under him.  He brushed aside the covers, unfolding them from around you, as wide eyed you followed his sterner instructions to let go your grip on them.  Everything felt so warm and fuzzy and your heart laboured in your throat.  There was nothing but his eyes; to suggest a moment ago he had kissed you with such violence it had stolen your breath.  

He was determined and if this was to be your life now, then at least knowing he wanted you made it bearable.  Some understanding had passed between you with the acceptance of his words, though nothing had changed.  You were still held a prisoner, and by his own refusal to let you go his belonging.  But that didn’t make you entirely his slave, nor did it give you a seat of power in his royal court.  There would be nothing outside the bedroom, that you could abuse for your own ends or to gain freedom.  But he had given you a place, he allowed you something more to him, to at least be human. 

Eyes wide you waited, as he skimmed the mound of your belly, his touch like fire and ice on your skin.  Chills running your sweat glistened skin whilst your body melted under his touch.  Your sex grew slick, and you allowed the hope that this worship of you was leading somewhere, that he would give in and take you.  Your clit aching, swollen and throbbing in need, demanding to be touched. 

For all his guidance; you honestly didn’t know how to do this.  Not without it making you look cheap and desperate.  It had never come to you being the instigator in your trysts, it wasn’t something you had ever planned for.  In many ways, you wished he was Ren; or at least had the Force-adept with him.  Lord Ren, you knew would accept your clumsy attempts at enticing him with forgiveness.  He could read your mind as much as your body, and would have taken this anxiousness into hand, without you asking.  Ren would not have waited, but acted on what your body needed, but Hux was the more polished and refined of the two.  Often you had heard him chide Ren for any actions he found inelegantly distasteful, you didn’t want to ruin this.

The backs of his fingers stroked over your face; the tip of his thumb running over your bottom lip.  You caught it and wrapped your tongue around the digit, bringing it between both lips.  His fascination with your mouth ever apparent he left it there, never pushed further than where you held it at the first knuckle.  Tired of waiting, you deciding to try an experimental suck when he offered no instructions or complaints.  Holding your breath for what you hoped was the reaction you needed.  There was nothing, just his eyes watching the purse of your lips as they puckered around the black leather.  Determined not to be so easily brushed aside, you flicked your tongue over the tip of it.  Eyes wide and feigning innocence as you waited, on his counteraction.  Either your manipulations of that digit, or else the purposeful teasing drew in a deep sigh from him as he blinked.  Shaking his head as though to chase the arousal from himself as he rocked back onto heels, removing his hand and drawing back from you.

At once you arched clumsily up and onto your elbows to chase it.  Drawing back in fear as you realised he was not allowing himself to play into this game.  You knew with a sinking feeling that, you had offended him. Struggling you tried to sit up properly.  Desperate to offer your fearful apologies; regretful to have drawn such a negative response from him.       

“You are frightened of me.”

It was an observation, but it wasn’t even close.  Terrified and unsure would have been a better description, for how you felt.  It was his unpredictability, by his admission he had deliberately kept you on edge.  You knew it was done for a reason; all so he could tear you down and rebuild you how he wanted.  They had wanted you afraid and dependant on them, and now guilt made him regret that.  You were not unintelligent; he was perfectly right.  It was wrong for you to want him, he had raped and beaten you, defiled every sanctity you had.  Yet for all that you needed some closeness, some intimacy.  Your only way to get that you would need to lie with your abusers, the only men you could bare yourself to.  This war had never truly ended, not for you.  Daily your head and your heart, still did battle with the heads of the First Order.  Then just as you had accepted that you wished to lay down a ceasefire and make peace, he had raised the draw bridge and left you floundering once more.  His top lip pulled into a scowl, as he lowered his gaze to your stomach. 

“I can’t take you Pet; I promised Arabella.”

You paled at the rejection as much as your heart plummeted down to your belly.  His arrogance had given him the audacity to ignore you on each visit as though you had done him wrong.  To sit watch you sleep, to lead you on and then refuse to act on it.  Just how often had he snuck in like this, was it all part of his great master plan for you?  Contrite or not he was still playing games with you, orchestrating yet more attempts to keep you on your toes.  You bit back the words you longed to snarl at him, the angry demands to know why he was here in your room if not to do that.  Refusing to think of how he had let you embarrass yourself with obviously inadept attempts to seduce him.  Too worried what he would do with you if you expressed your own displeasure at him as you kicked yourself over your stupidity. 

 “I want to, believe me Pet.  I want nothing more than to press you to that mattress and fuck you senseless.”

It was like cold water dashed on your anger, tempering the heat from it.  How did he know that was what you had been thinking, you knew your face had been unreadable.  You knew now how to maintain the same blank stare he could.  He sighed and you accepted the guidance of his finger, raising your jaw, higher to look him square on.  Meeting your gaze with honest turmoil, his eyes bore into you as he allowed honest expression to flood his features.  Oh, he wasn’t lying to you, he wanted you.  Chills ran your spine, you had heard far more vulgar terms from his posh mouth but they had never resounded in your bone so much.  It all felt so feral, he carried his authority well and seemed so in control; but you had never felt more powerful.  It wasn’t that he didn’t want you then, the colour in your cheeks deepening as the hunger danced behind each restrained eye.  Your tongue darted out; moistening your lower lip before dragging it between your teeth.  You waited as he lent back over you, the innocence in your gesture drawing him closer to you, almost weakening his resolve before reluctance returned. 

“But if she knows I have so much as opened that door, I am for it.”

More people deciding for you, life just was not fair.  It wasn’t going to be ever possible, but you wanted him badly to think you capable of being his equal.  Not in public, you were never stupid enough to thing your station afforded you that.  But at least in this bedchamber, you hoped it was at least a distant possibility.  His thumb brushed your lower lip as he cupped your cheek and offering yourself no time for hesitation you swiped your tongue over it.  Taking advantage of the pause he took to register the boldness in your actions to bite gently on the leather pad.  He wanted you; that much was blatantly obvious.  But he was the model of control, so many of his wishes denied to him, that he knew best how to fake disinterest.  The frustration at yourself for forcing yourself to risk rejection making your eyes sting. 

“Pet it isn’t that I don’t want to.  But you only think you want this, you don’t.”

You choked on your anger, unable to coherently voice it, though he listened.  He had no right to keep telling you what you wanted, nobody did but you.  You were careful though this was the furthest he had ever allowed you to push without reprisal.  He had said no countless times and you were silly enough to have kept trying.  You had to wonder what he was getting from all of this, besides a boost to his fractured ego.  It felt like he was still playing you and though there was genuine reluctance in the gentle refusal to your attempts at seductions; it still hurt.  Tears fell afresh as you did your best to hide your embarrassment at being so easy from him.  He really was playing the cruellest of games now.  A year he had spent making you want him and now you truly were broken at his callous rejection.  You lacked the agility and energy to run, though you once more where back to wishing to be beneath his notice. 

This time it was white-hot anger and not self-pity that made you wish you had never volunteered to be next.  You had thought yourself in for a quick death that day, not this slow death they offered.  You wanted to be loved, treasured and recognised for being you.  Not this pregnant, fragile thing that so many others told what to do, you wanted more.  Where had your strength fled to, why had you given up on your resolve to hold fast to your ties?  A fluttering and you looked down, the warm feeling that suffused you melded with guilt, bringing you strength.  Yes you told them, they were your ties, all you had a duty to.  Ren had told you often enough that they loved you, almost like it was a lifeline to hold on and often you took strength from what you were being given to love.  But now you immersed yourself in it, allowing yourself permission to see above the sadness that over shadowed you.

“Pet!” 

The moniker was a sharp command making you pay attention to him, to look up.  The Emperor’s head tilted, eyes narrowing in though as he took a deep and shuddering breath.  Assuming annoyance from him your instinctively drew back on yourself.  Slowly trying to make yourself invisible, but stopped by a warm and newly bared hand to your stomach.  His other hand was out stretched to you, the seam of one leather digit pressed to your lips, running the seam where they met. 

“Bite.”  

The low issued command was followed with immediate, but puzzled effect.  Your teeth gripping gently into the soft leather coverings of his thumb.  You held tight as he slipped it off, placing his index finger in its place to loosen that; before withdrawing his hand from the glove.  Unsure what he wanted, or even what he was trying to achieve, you held it delicately between both rows of teeth until he gave the order to let it go.  Taking it from your mouth and tossing it to the surface of a bedside table.  He gave you a watery smile, an attempt you realised at being comforting before reached again to touch you.  His bare flesh smoother, on the delicate skin of your face.  More intimate as he brushed the moisture from under each eye, cooing soothing noises to quiet your upset.

He was so calm and you were so unsure how it had come to this.  That he was here to assure you, and not to tear strips from your flesh for your fears.  He chucked, rolling his eyes at your assumption.  There was no reversal of roles, just you possibly playing the one he laid ready.  

“You honestly think I don’t want you Pet?”

 He would know if you lied, so you nodded your head.  Your vocal chords clamping and refusing to work.  As though to answer for you, your stomach quivered and you rubbed over the hard kick.  Hux huffing in amusement he looked down at it, asking you if they ever stayed still.  They didn’t, and if he was there more he would know, but you allowed him to push away the covers.  Drawing up your nightdress; as he brought himself closer.  Working slowly to lay your stomach bare to him, giving you ample moments to protest to his touch, before both palms splayed across either side of your bump. 

For all these were his children, he had never taken more time than the occasional fleeting touch to them.  Now uninvited he took time to stoke patterns onto your naked flesh.  Lazily rubbing circles with the flat of his palm, tracing the routes your children took as they moved in tandem with him, beneath your skin.  His eyes read his guilt that he had done this, as much as his mouth parted in awe.  Looking up before kissing the top of the dark line that split your stomach in two, sighing as he laid his ear over it.  Breathless with wonder he exclaimed that he could hear them, making you giggle at the almost child-likeness to his carefree tone; he loved them.  The noise made him pull up, and look at you no longer so amicable, his face a mask of absolute sincerity.

“I’ve never heard you laugh Pet.”     

You stiffened his face unreadable; was it wrong to have done so.  Was it possible he somehow found it insulting to laugh at him.  He was absolutely right, you had never had reason before to be happy around him; had you made a dangerous mistake.  His body shifted as he moved more to straddle you.  Your movements awkward though he was careful to allow you to shift pillows and to keep from dropping his weight on to the nestled twins.  His hands pressed to the walls either side of your head where you reclined against the headboard.  The piles of feather plumped sacks thankfully keeping you propped up enough to still be comfortable. 

“Beautiful.”

That one word reverberated through you core and following his gaze, you quickly drew the coverlet around you.  Blushing as you concealed yourself from him with the cloth, curling as tight on your belly as it would let you.  Your breasts had grown and the nipples seemed to have become more prominent since the first stages of your pregnancy.  He tutted, rolling his eyes and himself off you as he voiced a throaty amusement at your modesty, reminding you there was nothing of you he hadn’t already seem.

“I meant the laugh Pet, but you also are.”   

He lay down beside you, the gesture far more intimate than had had he lowered his walls and fucked you.  Accepting he was genuine in his refusal, you turned to face him, the pair of you allowing each other to bask in the shared personal space.  There was something else between you; it wasn’t love.  He had beaten, and raped you, it would never be love.  Something akin to caring flowed, as you were made aware of a distant pressing thought into your mind, almost missed in the first tumbling’s of sleep.

_**'Now he is ready to fail Pet.'** _

    


	34. Chapter 34

You woke to the usual sounds of water drizzling down the large panes of glass that fronted the outside wall of your bed chamber.  The skies outside; clouded and grey as moisture trickled down the windows in small rivulets, to disappear down the side of the large building.  Just another rainy day trapped on Arkanis you thought rolling your eyes at the repetitiveness of the weather.  You had no desire to get wet, so another day spent confined to the family abode then.  You tried at first to roll back to sleep, deciding that weather hardly warranted an early departure from your bed.  Humming to yourself; you buried down under the covers, and turned to face what should have been an occupied side of the bed.  It was cold and empty; the pillow fluffed and the bedding pulled tidy once more; the Emperor long since having woken up.  Your first thought was to get up and go join him, before the exhaustion of the broken sleep made you decide against in and close your eyes.  It was well past dawn, his usual waking time, but that he was not here was not to be unexpected.  More you should have anticipated that he would already up and about.  Given the hours the Emperor kept to it was more to be expected to find him missing at this later hour of the morning.    

A flash and the sudden rumbling of distant thunder startled you awake again and grimacing at the cold you wrapped the blankets around you.  The chromometer showed it to be midday, you had slept for half the day you though ignoring the twinges of guilt that you had wasted time.  You stretched out as best you could, pulling yourself seated and your back to the headboard.  Fighting to fluff the pillows for support, and tucking them behind you. 

It was still raining, but for all the cold, wet, and dreary weather; you refused to give into unhappy thoughts.  Completely assured in yourself that today, nothing was going to break your spirits.  You rubbed your hands over your stomach; pressing the heel of your hand firmly on the skin shielding them to seek out each individual body, to cup each in turn in a small show of your love for them.  This once they had stayed static whilst you had rested, and for the first time in months you had slept well.  It was his loss entirely, if he wouldn’t allow himself to take time to enjoy a lie in you decided.  Sulkily refusing to give into the burgeoning desire to share this hallowed experience, at least once with someone who felt what you did for them.  Your lip curling into sadness at what he was missing; as waking to your touch; your children began their daily dance inside you.  It was almost as though they too were eager to greet you, excitedly bidding you hello as much to cheer you up as anything. You giggled your appreciations at them, your waking ritual completed with a whispered ‘good morning’.  Greeting each girl in their turn; before settling back to hold onto your stomach and holding them there as the noise of thunder rolled off further into the distance.     

You had been so long a prisoner on this rainy world; that the sounds of precipitation had become more comforting that you ever thought possible.  The clouds no longer the miserable depressing grey they had once been, comforting in their refusal to change.  You lay there snug under the covers.  The weather making you grateful to be snug inside, as you listened lazily to the rhythmic patter on the glass growing heavier.  Wondering if the small life’s nested inside you were aware of the sounds of the weather, or just of the sounds in the room. 

They were now both fully developed in shape, they just needed to grow a little before they were ready to face the outside world.  If worried you that they would be ready to face their Fathers’ worlds, that they would be safe.  They were so small and helpless and already so many people wanted them harmed.  Alone you knew so much frustration that you were useless should there be a to protect them from another.  Weapon-less and unable to physically fight; you would need to rely on both Ren and Hux to protect them.  It was a terrifying thought, that they had left you vulnerable; the deathtroopers could only manage so much.  You disliked it; but there was always the niggling thought that you would have been safest around Ren.  That the Force adept would have been far more comforting to have around than the black armour clad bodyguards.  They had already come so close to ending your current pregnancy; and had manged to terminate so many.  At that miserable thought, that you couldn’t help small shudders that racked your spine.  The thought of the dangers they had already faced, because of Hux’s miscalculated attempts to protect them.  What was to come when they no longer had you to shelter them; would it be worse?  And what if somehow the lives their fathers had planned for them did not fit the children; what would Hux do if they couldn’t manage to conform to their planned roles. 

So many fears seemed to overlay any chance you had at hopes for them.  Not having dared to even so much as think of a name for the children.  They were both simply baby when you thought on them, and you didn’t want to ask Hux yet for their planned names; you didn’t want to give him that hold on them just yet.

Surely their fathers would not have set them up to fail, they would surely help to gently teach them.  Not you hoped having heard whispered snatches of conversation; in the way Hux had been taught.  No, you would face every beating going before you surrendered your children to the Hux way of raising a child.  Ren was more open, he had once told you that his parents barely found the time for him, that his childhood had been lonely and turbulent with his father barely around.  Left alone to form his own future, whilst his mother was off doing her duty to the galaxy; before finally sending him away to complete his duty.  You hoped from the ways they passionately declared needing you around their children, that they could they never be as cold to their daughters as their own sires had been. 

Surely, they would want to give them every tool and training available to realise their position in society.  Not to press them so hard that they failed, and become in so many ways stunted in their emotional growth.  They both would be the girls’ teachers in society, but you would be their backbone.  They would give the orders and instructions, but it would be to you they ran with every cut knee and broken heart.  You their mother would be their emotive support, their crutch when things went wrong.  Hux was right in his demands and prophecies; you would mother his heirs well.  But both himself and Ren needed to ensure they parented them well.  It was becoming harder not to get excited about seeing them and soon they would be here.  Scary as giving birth was and the life that would be thrust upon them; you itched to hold them in your arms.  Their first smile, their first words they all still felt a lifetime away for all they would soon be here; and you couldn’t wait to see them.  

A sudden sense of panic and melancholy made you stop that trail of thoughts, and clutch your arms around your waist in reflex.  Remembering that Ren had told you at least one child sensed your feelings, you quickly took a hold of what could only be your fluctuating hormones.  What then did she think to your emotions last night?  Did she think as oddly of her father as you did, just an odd mixture of guilt, reliance and need?  Had Hux of given into you last night and taken you, what would it have felt like to her.  Would she have sensed the underlying fear, and if so; just how much was she capable of understanding a fear of things she had never felt or seen. 

Ren had explained a little of what he could on one of the brief times you had asked him, though he seemed not to understand it much either.  He had shared a brief history lesson with you, telling you more of the Old Jedi Order than many did or would ever know of them.  The Jedi of old, had not been permitted to form attachments to anything but the order.  He had warned you; the idea that they would take a lover, to put any above the order had been the absolute taboo. 

_“We simply do not know Pet. It was not done Little-Pet until the time of my Grandfather and then too secretly to be documented.”_

He had explained nothing else of his heritage, and you had no wish to hear of it.  It seemed too much like indulgent melancholy in his grandfather’s fate for your tastes.  You knew of his lineage, and it turned your stomach to remember how he had murdered the last defenceless vestiges of it.  You instead had tried to muddle through the connection with your child; grudgingly accepting each pointer from Ren.  Hoping you hid the hurt from your daughter; that your abuser could communicate with her in such an intimate way that you would never match.  Filled with excitement and a sliver of petty, vitriolic glee, at each discovery.  Knowing that for all his aptitude with the force he still knew no more than you did of what to expect with the child.   

Many time’s he had warned you that she was able to pick up on what you saw and sense your emotions.  That she couldn’t put a name to it, nor was she able to show an intelligence to comprehend how these emotions worked; but she felt it still.  Your fear but love of her, was what drove her to become protective of her mother.  She had gathered in a more intelligent and profound way what all younglings did; that an attachment to that love was safest of all.  She understood your love for her through her own awareness of her dependence on you.  The same way all children grasped love; just as her sister soon would.           

The niggling worry was hard to shake, something felt off though you couldn’t understand what it was.  You should have been calm and at peace; last night you had shared a connection with the father of your children that was in some ways what you wanted.  He had shown caring, and understanding of you; you had been briefly his equal.  Remonstrating that this was idiotic, you ignored the sinking feeling in your stomach and pushed yourself to swing your feet from the bed, and ignoring the niggling want to hurry controlled your leisurely movements. 

Your bladder felt full and heavy as you made your way to use the refresher.  It was only as you reached to splash warm water onto your face, that you realised what it was.  You stared at your reflection, wither unable or unwilling to believe it was possible.  Bringing your fingers to your neck, in the hope that touching it would make it less real.  Panic setting in when instead of skin warmed and hardened silver, your fingertips brushed the soft naked flesh of your bared neck. 

You rushed back to the bed, determined to find it had slipped off in the night, the reality of what you found there far more unsettling.  Anxiety pooled vomit heavy in the bottom of your stomach, the room swaying as your breathing quickened.   Hux had promised you last night that he was not here to set you aside, that he was not about to let you go.  But there on your bed lay the proof of his lies.  There on your spare pillow, deliberately broken into two pieces was your collar. 

The collar that had been your protection for the best part of a year, the one thing that kept you safe without Hux.  Without that symbol of ownership, you were invisible and your children at risk.  No one would recognise the Emperor’s whore, not by your face that piece of metal had been your shield and now he had taken it away.

You felt more naked without it, than you had ever felt without clothing, and giving into tears you climbed back onto the bed.  Drawing the coverlet around you as you cradled the two pieces in your hands.  He had left it unfixable, even had it been accidently removed the only way to reattach it his own DNA, thought it wasn’t as though you didn’t try.  Hoping that somehow the pieces would magically weld back together as you brought them to your neck. 

The thought came suddenly to find him, and demand he reattach it to you.  Pulling a robe around yourself as bare footed you waddled towards the shuttle bay, stopped by Arabella before you reached the doors to the garden.

“He’s gone (y/n), he left in the night.”

You turned to look at her, eyes shining with tears.  Of course, he had gone.  How could you of ever thought better of him, that he wouldn’t lie.  She looked at you with such pity, you knew that you could not stand.  Gently she pulled you back into the house, decrying that you would have gone outside so badly dressed, explaining that her brother had been needed urgently on Naboo.  Nodding you feigned acceptance at her words.  Pretending just until you were alone that this was for the best, that you hadn’t even noticed his passing.  You ignored her offers to have shoes and better clothing fetched.  Returning to your room and for the first time ever setting the lock to the door.  Letting yourself slide heartbrokenly to the floor as the first sob wracked you.

You felt a mixture of mortification at your gullibility; that you would allow him to do this to you, and a depressed anger that he was really that callous.  Last night you had behaved honestly, and thought that the morning would bring something different between you both.  Not this better understanding of him or of the freedom from his touch you thought you wanted; but of a start of something else.  Never had you imagined he would set you aside, or that if he did it would be this cowardly.  It was too heart breaking to allow your anger to build.  Instead you let it go, just numb tracts of wetness running down your cheeks to show you felt anything at all.  You felt so stupid for ever believing him.  For the joy you had permitted yourself to feel as he had touched your children. 

“It’s just you two and me then is it?”

You whispered forlornly to your stomach, wrapping your hands around your children, the only thing that he couldn’t take from you.  Well not yet at least he couldn’t take them, but there was time for him to prove he had lied on that front too.  With hindsight for your other actions you now knew to be ready for that, and you would kill him if he tried; you promised yourself bitterly and with alarming sincerity.  They were your children, not his and you felt a desperate severity to keep him from them suffuse you.  Drawing back your top lip in a defensive snarl as you moved to the bed.  Promising to ready yourself a plan.  He would not be allowed to take them from you.  You swore that you would die first before anyone took your children.  ‘Know your place.’ he had told you and still you did not.  Last night you had forgotten it, but now you would make your own place.  You were not his cosset, for all he kept you as one.  Ren had told you, that you were a free woman.  Well then, you would take that freedom then.  You would be free of him; of his games.  A pang of guilt hit at the mental image that came with thinking of Ren, though quickly you pushed it aside.  Yes he had done good, but he had done far more harm to you; when had you ever had need to feel remorse for Ren?

A kick made you look down, she knew you realised; brushing aside the worry that you could be wrong; that he was telling the truth last night.  The actions of his betrayal were already in play.  The day went past in a blur of intermittent planning, as you flitted in and out of gentle sleep.  Preferring the numbness that came with oblivion, over the anguish of reality. 

The servants and your attendants coming to the door many times to summon you, though you ignored each visit.  When you didn’t answer the handmaidens; Arabella was summoned.   At first, she tried to coax you out of the room, or at the very least; to let her in.  When you removed, she offered to fetch food for you, assuring you nobody need enter or leave your room.  Another concern you realised; not for you.  But for the Emperor’s offspring; his assumed soon to be heirs.  Though although it went unsaid; you knew it was for the sake of the babies that you needed to eat.   A day without food would do you no real harm, you could eat tomorrow.

Dawn broke and you finally pulled yourself from the bed, bathe.  You were truly alone then, he hadn’t even the guts to tell you goodbye, he had just left.  As the light broke over the horizon, you made a pact with yourself.  You needed to move, needed to escape and to do that you would need all your cunning, every skill the Emperor had taught you.  You began to pace the room, preparations had to be made.  You couldn’t stay here you realised, nor could you allow anyone to guess you planned on running; you had to behave normally.  Especially around Arabella.  Clearly, she was more sympathetic to her brother than you had accounted for, and it was only to be expected; it was silly of you not to have planned for it.  They had grown up together, they were family.  For years, she had been his protector, why would she not continue in that role.

When the morning knock came, you were ready for them.  The door unlocked as you sat up on your couch, and accepting the food.  You politely apologised in answer to their questions, explaining that yesterday you had felt a little out of sorts, but today you were back to your old self.  It was a lie so well taught by Hux to wrap it first in truth, that everyone believed you.  Only the narrowing eyes of Astrid suggesting she found something out of place with your answer.  You allowed yourself to be dressed, then requested to be alone.  Waiting until they had gone, before reaching for your jewellery box.

There had been very little of the wealth Hux had fetched with you to Arkanis, the majority of anything worth any real money left on Naboo.  But you would need something to bargain with your passage off planet.  Pulling open the clasp and opening the box lid, you stared in dismay at the contents.  Somebody had clearly thought through enough of your next actions.  Everything was gone, save one necklace you had never seen before.  A clear naturally formed crystal that judging from the length of the chain, would hang in the hollow of your breasts.  It was colourless and nothing like the refined jewellery Hux would have normally chosen for you.  It was better than nothing, and deciding the best way to keep it with you was to wear it, you walked to the bathroom.  At least the gold to the chain, might be worth something you thought sagely to yourself.  Frustrated at the first spanner in your planning.  The gem itself though was most likely worthless.  It was roughly formed, and not even cut.  Frowning as your fingers touched the delicate chain of metal, following the welded links as you walked to a mirror and placed it around your neck. 

The minute it dropped into place, you knew you would never sell it.  It was hard to say why, but it felt so odd and yet so comforting to have it around your neck.  Maybe it was just that you needed to know that there was something enclosing your neck, something of their fathers that you could pass onto your daughters when the time came. 

Your fingers worked over the smoothness of the stone, tracking each curve and facet.  It felt strangely warm to the touch, and as you twirled it the colours that danced in each sparkling facet were beautiful.  Gold wire wrapped the point of it, forming a small decorative loop that the gold chain threaded to.  The bail was wrought with tiny symbols, or markings that you couldn’t quite focus on.  Pushing curiosity aside for later you tucked the necklace under your dress and after grabbing a cloak from the closet; began a steady walk down the staircase.         

You needed a plan and to do that you would have to map out the gardens better.  It would be exhausting and slow going, but you needed a viable escape route.  Outside you took deep breaths of fresh air.  Thankfully it was for once not raining, and so you began a slow pace around the gardens.  Trying not to look as nervous as you felt you kept your pace, unlike your racing heart unhurried and relaxed.  Smiling at the odd groundsman you passed, you soon passed the more manicured sections of the gardens.  You often had to stop to rest your back and legs; though that was to be expected.  What did surprise you though, was that you were not followed by anyone from the house.  You had checked as subtlety as you could; careful to not look suspicious but nobody followed you into the shrubbery and then the outcrops of the estate. 

The Hux grounds were far more extensive than you had accounted for.  You knew already that you had only touched briefly on the outcrops of it.    There had to be ways off this estate, that didn’t involve the front gate or that landing pad.  Today you pushed further than you had before.  Your back ached and your ankles throbbed and even at this slow pace you were drained and breathless.  A fallen log became your next resting place, as you realised the futility of the task you had set yourself.  You were alone; just as you had been all along. It meant that you had no one to assist you in your plans for flight, but that at least had its benefits; there would be no one to betray you to Hux or Ren either.  You were completely out of shape and it was not just from the weight of the babies. For so long you had been kept as a pampered pet, that the skills that had served you as a Resistance member, like your muscles had gone soft and unused. 

It was useless, but you couldn’t give in; your eyes like your head swimming with frustrated sense of failure.  You had come so far and now you had to call it quits for the day, you clearly need better stamina.  Then to make matters worse it had started to rain again, and not just drizzle either.  The tree above sheltered you from the worst of the rain, but eventually the larger drops would soak through your cloak.  Briefly you wondered if you just stayed here, if someone would eventually come and fetch you; when you heard the sounds of braking greenery and twigs underfoot.  It had to be someone from the estate, a gardener or better yet a Deathtrooper you decided; yelling out a hello.  As you hoped there came an answer but far from the one you wanted.  Breaking into the small clearing, Astrid stood and surveyed you.  Without the others to watch her, she allowed her contempt for you to show.  Rolling her eyes in an obvious show of her scorn for you as she came closer, clutching a small bag to her chest.

“Why Armitage choose you. Someone who clearly lacks even the intelligence to stay close to home this close to her due day is beyond me.”

Her tone was horribly dismissive of what you might have been thinking.  You were grateful though that the news of him leaving you, and not yet spread to anyone.  At least it would help keep your plans a secret.  Trying not to show that you knew all she felt for you, you set your jaw to neutrality.  Her eyes hard and cold as she came closer, and she drew a flask from her pack. Holding it forwards to you as an offering. 

Good, you thought at least her orders were still to take care of you.  Taking care to steady your breath you took a drink from the offered container, taking small mouthfuls due to your panting and not the large gulps you wanted to.  You were so thirsty from the exertion of your walk; that you drank rather than watch the woman as she sat beside you on your log.  Her eyes greedily watching the flask, where it met your lips.  At first you blushed, realising guilt that in a moment of self-indulgent greed that you had probably drank more of her water than she intended.  You offered it back, Astrid instead of drinking refastening it and standing to look down at you.

You took this as your que to stand, moving your feet under you readying them to take your weight, your legs felt oddly rubbery and disconnected.  They didn’t seem willing to cooperate, and frowning you took a breath to explain to the grudgingly waiting handmaiden why you were not moving.  You were sure you had spoken, but she just looked at you, as you shook your head trying again.  This time you could feel the thickness of your tongue in your mouth, as it sluggishly moved.  Now your arms too were beginning to feel weightless, and your mind clouded with a wrong but euphoric sense of relaxation.  Somehow you knew despite the rush that you should be panicked, and of all things you wondered how to let Ren know.  An odd thought you realised when your handmaiden was kneeling before you, asking how you felt.  Dizzy, you explained closing your eyes to the swirling black and red that edged your vision.  Her voice sounded far away, but you could just about make her out if you tried.  A thud sounded and you tried to react to it, to move and see what it was.  Giving up the fight to open your eyes, as another came right by your ear.  Another set of voices, help you thought to the arms moving to help you.  A man speaking by your ear, the last noise you heard before you faded from consciousness.                 

  

      

 

 


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I stood on my computer; which meant I had to fix my screen.

You woke groggy and disorientated.  Unable in the confusion to recollect the correct set of memories that would bring you to the now.  You knew something had happened, that you were not where you were supposed to be, but everything was fussy. Your head nauseously spinning as you came around.  The room around you was pitch black, and if you thought you had ever seen darkness; then it was nothing to the total and overwhelming see of black that cloaked your eyes now.  There were no shades of grey, nor the deeper shadows that let you see shapes, just an endless nothingness that went on for ever.  The more you became conscious, the more everything hurt.  A stiff aching burnt in the cores your muscles that slowly gave you more to focus yourself in the now.  The cramps grounding you, for all they also suggested you had been tied like this for a long time.  Too long.  Your bladder felt full and uncomfortable, and your stomach nauseously empty.  Your first coherent thought was to give into a wild panic.  Unable to check with your hands or eyes for the small life’s inside of you, it was natural that you expected the worst, that they were missing or worse hurt or dying.  Your heart hiccupped in relief then as though in an immediate answer to your worrying, there was a quick fluttering of movement inside of you.  The panic had made you stupid.  It was a course of action you were above by now, you should have known that you didn’t need to feel them physically.  They would answer to your questions, they would be the first to tell you that they were in clear and present danger.      

Your eyes bound with a rough cloth of a sort and this dwelling smelt badly of mould and musk.  There was a smell of running water on the breeze, all very reminiscent of the cave you had often dreamed of.  But you knew you were awake this wasn’t just one of your dreams. A dull throbbing in your head coupled with a horrible ache in each bound limb when you tried to move.  Your hands were fastened behind your back, the metal bands trapping each wrist painfully tight.  Digging into your skin and forcing you to contort your back into an agonizing curve.  You tried another experimental kick of your legs. Another set of bindings there, looser but still managing to hold you in place.  In the near distance the sounds of running water filtered through your sluggish senses. First a huge roar of it like a waterfall or a river, then closer to you the neater and smaller sounds of echoing single heavy drips.  Like the drips that fell into puddles or an immense pool of water.  You shivered. It was bitterly cold, the air around you tasted of ice, and salt; making you suspect you were no longer on Arkanis.  How long had you been out of it, mere hours or longer; perhaps even days?  Either was possible in this groggy haze of time and thoughts.  There was a definite frigid chill to the draft that swirled around your bound ankles, making you shiver and not just at the cold.  Moving to draw them closer for warmth, to tuck them under the bulk of your belly.  It was probably for the best that you were tied.  It was hard enough not to give into the rising sense of panic and to struggle against your bonds.  That leash at least stopped you running about in the dark.  There were the sounds of dripping water somewhere very close to you.  Then in the distance the sounds of fast running water, like a river or waterfall.  The more you lay there the more convinced you became of your location.  You were somewhere underground and somewhere very wet, definitely a cave.

 

You struggled to assess your bonds. The tell-tale burn of the added rope creating friction-burns on your fragile skin, the metal cuffs biting against your wrist and ankles, rubbing them almost raw.  You tried twisting to a more comfortable position, all the time assessing your bonds.  Your captor had done a good job, and even your preliminary searches in the dark; let you know it would be impossible to break free.  You were trapped.  A sense of panic running the neurons of both brain and body; none of this was good.  You indulged in a short anxiety attack at your frustration, the isolation in the darkness making it worse.  Though wisely swallowing back the need to scream and beg for light.  No one was likely to come for you, you were alone and it was better than no one thought you awake.  Better that you listen and learn more of your captors and surroundings.

Underneath you felt spongy and soft, the spongy sensation of foam shifting as it adapted to your weight.  That was a good sign then, if you were laid out on something more forgiving then than rock.  They had removed your cloak and possibly some of your outer garments and if the frigidity of your feet was anything to go by your toes.  Atop of you was laid something itchy and stiff.  Possibly covering you in replacement of those garments, or possibly a vain attempt to provide warmth.  Touching it with your bound hands you explored it discovering a woollen blanket of sorts; though it was smelly and worn.  It stank of the musk of unwashed bodies and wet dog, and at first you wanted it nowhere near you let alone touching you.  Your skin itching with the thought of what else it carried.  But it provided both shelter and warmth. Your children needed you to protect them, and dirt was better than pride; right now they needed to survive.  For that you needed to provide your body with what it needed, warmth and eventually water and nutrients.  You would not yell for food just yet, but it was too cold.  You couldn’t stop shivering and you needed warmth; you needed that blanket. 

So whatever this was, it was certainly not a rescue attempt by any surviving factions of Resistance then.  Nor was it likely to be a lesson from Hux for trying to run.  The pain was something he would have planned and put you through without a second thought.  But he would never have risked the harm to your children by drugging you.  Nor would he have tolerated the cold and the filthy smell of your bedding. 

Metal grated on something, a door you wondered as around there was the sudden rustle of movement,  Making you lay still and quiet as you focused heavily on it as it came closer.  Realising with some mixed measure of relief as your awareness came better into focus, you were probably not alone.  Murmured voices speaking in basic, let you know you were most likely in the company of humanoids. The accents and emotional lilts, making them easy to rule out mechanoids and droids.  Two sets of feet trailed idly across the stone floor.  One smaller set that slinked around you as the other heavy set thuds seemed to march in a rhythmical beat that stopped at your head pausing before speaking.

“Is she awake yet.”

The clipped emotionless tones sounded familiar to you, but you couldn’t quite place them.  Your mind not entirely clear from the drugged water yet making your long term memories disjointed and too distant to effectively recall.  More movement as the other feet came to stand next to the first.  The rustle of heavy skirts making you realise before the second voice even spoke that it would be female.

“Not yet Sir.  I am afraid she can still be quite difficult when provoked, we needed to be sure she was completely and effectively unconscious for the entire journey.”

Of course it was Astrid. The memories of the flask she had handed you jolting as they flooding back to you.  Unconscious for how long then, if she had needed to have you so effectively drugged, then you knew the most likely outcome was that you really where not on Arkanis any longer.  Where had she had you shipped to then, and who was she working for.

“I don’t like this, it was sloppily and untimely done.  The extraction should have waited until they were safely born.”

It came across not as a rebuke but as a simple observance of her actions, if he was cross with Astrid then it never showed.  There was no change in tone, or an angry intake of breath.  Just that same level tone continuing his review of the task Astrid had clearly undertaken for him.  If your time with Hux and Ren had taught you anything; it was to above all survive and if needed a total lack of pride to do so.  The loss of your freedom was something you had never had, and the unknown you had been trained to adapt well to.  He had taught you that above all you could and would survive for them. There was so much to think on it, but you couldn’t work it all out and now was not the time.  Now was time to listen, to learn. 

“I agree Sir, but it was now or never.  He has become far more attached than even you anticipated, it left few opportunities to obtain them.”       

She did not apologise for her actions, though there was a genuine sense of subservience in her reply.  Not the simpering tone of a lover grovelling, simply a subordinate relaying details of her task to her superior.  There was more to be had here you realised, if you just managed to remain unnoticed.  You were far from stupid and Hux had never wanted you unintelligent.  Yes, he had taught you to be practically mute and completely unobtrusive in his presence.  To sit, or kneel silent whilst unquestionably assessing the risk to you, no matter what the danger was.  But he had never doubted anything you had observed.  Instead encouraging you to read the subtle clues that told you what people really wanted.  The changes in their voices, the breathing, the way they shifted position when they spoke.  It had proved good training as you silently rationalised your fears, listening for any clues to your captors.  Whoever he was; for all her bravado Astrid was still hesitantly nervous of him.  Her voice all but babbled as she rushed to explain more. Too scared that she had deviated from the set plan of action.

Astrid had for months watched you like a hawk; using the same network Hux had installed to spy on you.  Using her position with the Hux’s to report your wellbeing back to her associate, though the real prise was never you.  The last month she had grown nervous, which had pushed her to act out of turn.  The Emperor had never been a predictable man when it came to you, but his obsession had taken a more surprising turn than expected.  An opening had presented itself; it left little time for errors or maneuverers but she had exploited it.             

The man above seemed to offer no hint as to how he felt about her behaviour.  Not so much as fidgeting or shuffling as he stood above you, simply a hint of suspicion as he ordered her to silence.  Then there was a shuffle and then a wash of breath on your face.  Your heart sped up, for all you tried to stay calm, terrified that he had realised you were awake.  You tried to keep your breathing regular, but it was so hard not to tense in fear.  Neither presence where friendly to you, here and now you were to these people exactly what Hux had denied you were to him all along. Just the incubator to the Emperor’s precious genetic material.  That knowledge was like a nail in the coffin of your existence.  In a matter of days, you would be surplus to requirement for his plans.  Your captor didn’t need you, just the Emperor Hux’s heirs. 

“I know that you are awake.”

The clipped accent was suddenly very clearly his, the sneer in his voice at your fear was reminiscent of his son’s.  The blindfold was ripped from your eyes not kindly, though it let in the shockingly pale light of the stone chamber.  An older but oh so familiar sneer on a face so reminiscent of the Emperor that your heart felt a pang to have him here.  He stood, not to remove himself from you but to ensure you knew the differences in the powers at play here.  Pristine and clean he was everything but the dirty resistance scum you were.

“So, my son fancies and that damned dog of his, fancy themselves besotted with you does he?  Well let us see how inflamed he is with you after I am done with you.”

The cold and hunger were the least of the dangers to you.  His eyes held a steel glint, but there was something else there.  Instinctively you pressed your thighs together, needlessly tightening the muscles to tense in place.  Hux had offered you to his father once, and it had been at a time you knew he wanted you.  Foolish to think that desire had ever come from anything but wanting something his son had.  Even now if the fancy took him, he was just as likely to take you.  You were alone and afraid, everything you had feared for all those months.  But this came with the gut clenching certainty that Brendol Hux would be far worse to you than his son.  He knew it too you realised; the bastard was taunting you letting your fears take the easy route to being subservient to him.  How much had he seen of the Emperor’s training of you, how much would he insist on improving it?  Tauntingly he made an offer to have you unfastened, though warned you of what would happen if you made any move to assault him.

“Your pregnancy may be too unstable for me to meter out a more physical punishment, but I realise how sentimental you women are.  If you wish to see your children before I remove them from you then you will cooperate.”

You truly were surplus to requirements then.  Was this the Commandant warning you of your life expectancy then.  You would survive just long enough to see your children, then you would finally be permitted the future you had asked for.  At the time you had wanted it, but now you wanted anything but to die.  Your children had become a reason for living, they would need you.  Death was no longer an option you would take.  Needlessly you dipped your chin, knowing that Brendol did not need your nod to know that you would obey.  He had taught his son all there was to know about cruelty and control. He knew well enough to give you something far more effective than a slap, he gave you the illusion of an option.  The hope that if nothing else, for one small moment you would hold your girls would keep you far more compliant than pain.  He was right, you were sentimental, if it came to it, there was nothing that you would not do to be allowed this before you died.  He was triumphant at playing such an easy card to control you, and you wondered if he allowed the vanity at this to flatter his ego.  Astrid would have reported back all of Hux’s failed attempts to control you, and now he had you to heel with one single threat.  Time seemed to stand still, until he ordered Astrid to untie your ropes.  Reaching to unlock the cuffs safely knowing that you would not risk making a move to attack him yet, it would be pointless.

Astrid used a knife to cut the bonds from you, not caring if it nicked your skin or ripped clothing.  But it was preferable to the wandering hands of the senior Hux.  He made sure to touch you in every intimate and vulnerable place he passed, going as far to slide fingers up the apex of your thankfully covered thighs. 

Instinct made you struggle under him.  A poorly timed and thought move you realised, as he pinned you down.  The sluggishness of your system making it easier to push you into place, as he whispered husky taunts your ear.

“Not yet, the risk of you miscarrying makes it too dangerous.  But after I will have you, and then maybe see what all the fuss was in keeping you alive.”

Your mouth dried instantly.  The horror of what he was saying making you lay still in shocked obedience, long after he had removed himself from you.  It was not a case of if he would rape you, but when.  Then it would be in your hands how long you remained alive after that.  There was no mention of remaining with your children, and that he would have rather taken them without you spoke volumes.  Brendol, unlike the younger Hux would not risk having them tainted with Resistance sympathies.  You would at best hold them once. 

You waited until they had gone from the room.  The lone crudely burning torch they used to light it spluttering out in the sudden draught.  It plunged you back into darkness, but you now welcomed it.  Turning onto your side to allow the first tear to fall into the mattress. 

You had been stupid, and in this latest abduction you had only yourself to blame.  Had you stayed in the family home safe and warm then none of this would have happened.  The drips in the distanced seemed to fall with more tears, as you realised the futility of a rescue.  Astrid had been someone the Emperor had trusted, she had wormed her way into caring for you with years of servitude to the Hux’s.  Loyalty which had allowed her to ultimately plan this.  You had simply played into her hands when you had decided on another plan of escape.  You wrapped the blanket around you, discovering another twisted around your ankles in your struggling.  Together they offered enough warmth to stop you from shivering, but not enough to keep out the cold.  You resolved to ask for another when you next encountered one of your captors.  Realising that if they for some reason thought your pregnancy unstable, or risky they would ensure the safety of your children. 

Sleep must have overtaken you again for you to wake so suddenly, your bladder full to bursting despite the recent lack of fluids.  You shouted that you needed help, no help came, just a yell to be quiet.  Your bladder burnt and you resorted to yelling shame faced that you needed to relieve yourself.

A storm of feet before a sliver of light burst into an open door.  Outside a well-lit stone corridor that seemed to stretch forever.  It was made with a light sandy-grey rough cut stone that seemed to form the walls of your cell too.  The whole compound must be carved from it, you realised.  Knowing from the addition of the door and wiring to outside lighting, it was unlikely to be entirely a naturally formed cave.

It was Astrid who entered, the tall woman clearly as responsible for your wellbeing here as with the Emperor.  Though here unlike there, you only had to be alive she could openly show her dislike of you.  The junior Hux; you had silently berated him for not caring for some of your needs.  Now you saw that as nothing to the cold woman who entered unbidden your chamber.  She seldom looked at you, and when she did it was purely to show offence as she held the door open.  Waiting only long enough for a service droid to place a bucket in one corner of the room.  Another adding a tray with food and water at the opposite side of your mattress to the bucket.  Smirking as she ordered the droid out.  Ensuring she looked at you as she closed the door, making it clear that she had intended to leave you in total darkness once.  It was no use trying to demand she return and relight the torch, it would have only delighted her to refuse your request.  The dark itself held nothing to harm you, the chamber was bare except for the items they had added.  But the fears that threatened to worm their way into the edges of your psyche would overwhelm you if you gave into them.  It was not all hopeless yet, anything could happen in the days to come.   

Holding the thoughts at bay you lifted yourself shakily onto your knees to relive yourself.  Reasoning that in the dark it was better to be already on the floor, than to fall to it.  You started your crawl, using your hands to feel out the path to where you thought the bucket stood.  It was not a large chamber, but in the darkness, it was still hard to navigate your way and you found it harder to find than you would have expected.  Finally locating your target, you slowly lifted what remained of your skirts, hovering ungainly over the bucket as you did your best to balance.

There was nothing to wipe yourself on, and your business finished you returned to the bed the same way.  Moving each palm in a wide semicircle, feeling for the slightest hazard before you shuffled back onto the almost rotten mattress.  The room was as cold as you remembered and it was good to be once more back in the warmth of your blankets.  Even the smell seemed unimportant as you warmed back up under their weight.  You suspected strongly that the tray Astrid had placed contained safe, if unappetising food; Brendol it seemed would prefer you alive.  But you would warm first before trying to discover what was there.  You nestled tighter on yourself, flinching as you rolled over a pebble in your bed.  You must have knocked it in when you returned to your bed, your fingers wrapping tightly around it to dig it into the palm of your hand.  You were so sick of being pushed about, leaving the custody of one uncaring aristocrat, only to unwillingly exchange it for another.  You prepared to fling it angrily against one of the walls, remembering at the last minute the necklace you had worn the last day at the family estate.  You peeled back your fingers, the chain broken and missing, but the clear jewel sat radiating as gentle almost unnoticeable heat in the centre of your hand.                 

You twirled it in your hands, wondering how it was still with you, and what was the purpose for it.  It had to be of some value; for all Hux had stripped your jewellery box he had never bought you any gifts that were not costly.  For a whore, you were dressed more like nobility, each item chosen to complement yourself.  To ensure you never physically looked out of place next to him.  That they had missed this one ornament, had to be an obvious oversight by someone.  But you were beginning to suspect that it might have been deliberately done by the junior Hux.  It felt oddly ominous in your hands, generating its own heat, which was possibly coming from the faint glow that emanated deep in the centre of the clear crystal.  The more your eyes settled back to the darkness, the more the gem seemed to illuminate the room.  Nothing overly noticeable, but a soft dusting of light that picked out the shadows, making the bowl of soft vegetable mush, that passed for food easier to pick out in the gloom.  Holding the rock somehow made you feel calmer, as though all was not lost.  There was certainly something comforting about its closeness to you, and you resolved that like everything it was best kept hidden from the Commandant, and his helper. 

The terrible food finished, the only sensible thing to do was to rest.  Reasoning that sleep was both wise and preferable to the misery of your current reality.  So, it became how you spent your time for now.  Clutching the crystal, the last vestiges of the men who you tentatively admitted you cared for, to you in your sleep.  Hiding it and your misery when they fetched your food, or cleaned out your waste.  The light it emitted seemed to grow brighter with the passing of time, and at times there was almost a passing sense of it vibrating.  Whatever it was made of you weren’t sure, but it felt oddly connected to you in a way you couldn’t explain.  Myths of the Jedi of old making you wonder if it was somehow connected to the Force.  It certainly needed a human touch to work.  Putting the rock down, would cause the light in it to fade out and its temperature to settle back to that of the other rocks in the room.  Making you realise quickly that it seemed to need skin contact to work.    

Time passed at a slugs crawl in the dark.  The absences between light and dark that should have dissected your time were replaced with the arrival of meals.  The boredom was hardly an issue; it wasn’t for the first time that time was meaningless to you.  But this time you dreaded the passage of it, this time you wanted it to drag slowly.  The room never changed, though there was the addition of a cleaner mattress and sheets, and eventually enough water to perform a quick strip wash.  Perhaps only as day or two at most had passed then you thought as the wash water was replaced by more food.  This time Astrid making sure to close the door more gently.  This was to be your prison you realised alternating between sleeping and pacing the small room. 

Preferring the dreams that came with sleep to the stark horrors of reality, finding that your dreams held more of the dark jedi than Hux.  Odd that he would feature more in your guilty subconscious than the man whose actions had led to your kidnapping.  The sleek design of a fully armed First Order Star Cruiser more often than not the backdrop to your vivid fantasies.  Ren watching as the man he loved paced through a series of chromed and permasteel rooms.  The Emperor striding past terrified officers and troopers, calmly assessing each piece of data.  Ren fully masked in his armour and fury.  A deadly mix of barely restrained control, the fire that tempered the frost of his lover’s anger.  Protective but ready in a heartbeat to strike out, to kill and mutilate at his lover’s command. 

There was a sense of fury behind each action that you could only hope was real.  Even their fury at your escape you would welcome with open arms if it got your children out of here.  You would wear a thousand stripes if they would come and rescue them from this hell-hole.  In a matter of days you would give birth, and then they would remove your children.  Your only hope was that Hux or Ren knew you were missing.  That the dreams were true, that they were where both using every resource available to the them to scour the galaxy for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone want to guess which planet they're on?


	36. Chapter 36

_It had been the addition of the bodies that woke you from your warm nest.  Both bodies warm and delightedly naked as they supplely slipped beneath the crinkled white sheets to join you.  You welcomed their touch; giggling as the dark-haired man stared seriously down at you.  Pulling your mouth to his, to taste it, his lips plush and so soft as they melded against the kiss you earnestly returned.  The ginger haired man slid to your back pressing his mouth to your hairline; breathing deeply of the scent of your hair line, before wrapping both arms around your waist.  Pulling you back to his warm chest to hold you tightly there, gently but possessively.  Loosening the hold on you, only to begin placing a line of burning hot kisses that left your spine tingling, leading them down the curve of your spine._

_In an odd way, you knew that all of this was just a dream, not that how you knew that, made any real sense to you.  It all seemed so real, but this was not a memory.  There was no way you could respond so playfully to their touch and still be permitted it. Plus, it had been a long time since anyone’s arms fitted so tightly and completely around your swollen middle._

_Hux’s hands slid lower, his fingers spreading wide over your hips and empty stomach.  Grinding lustfully against you as both men littered your body with more kisses, their breath shuddering through bared chests.  Your body heated so readily to their touches.  Warmth spreading through your core as your pussy responded to each stroke of their fingertips.  Ren’s teeth bit into your neck, sucking a mark of ownership onto your collar.  Fighting for your attention, as Hux’s manicured nails vied to leave their own branding.  Lazily sketching out patterns in red on your shoulder, writing unseen messages in aurebesh.  Hux’s mouth pulled at your earlobe, toying with it as he arched your back, forcing you to offer your nipples up to Ren’s mouth._

_It was a welcome break from your current reality, but something you couldn’t work out seemed more pressing than this.  What was this latest dream, if not just your body hiding itself from the reality that waited outside of this fantasy; why would you want so ardently to leave it?  The pleasure at their lazy touches, was gradually giving way to anxious confusion.  Unsure what was going on, you breathlessly gave the order to stop.  You didn’t expect either man to obey your quiet request, nor to ask you what was wrong.  The brunette scowling as the Emperor listened to you demands to know what was happening.  It was all so clear suddenly, and looking sadly at the Force-Adept you brokenly asked why hadn’t he come for you?_

_At your question the dream warped, allowing more bleedings of the reality around you to slink in to it.  Now for all it was still a dream, there was a definitive understanding of reality to it.  The air was still as fussy at the edges, yet there was a sense of urgency that emanated from Ren.  You looked around you taking in the changes.  The room sterile and barren, but the bed still occupied by the three of you.  Ren propped himself up on one elbow pushing sleep tousled hair back as he stared blankly at you.  He seemed surprised to see you, gently reaching to touch you.  Tracing the edges of your mouth with the tips of his fingers.  You shuddered, from the rush of emotions that came with that small touch; both fear and an overwhelming sense of relief.  His hand cupped your cheek, and you lent into it.  Closing your eyes against the prickling itch that grew in intensity at him; grateful for the human touch._

_Behind the semi-recumbent Ren; the redheaded Emperor was fast asleep.  His pale and gangly form wrapped in dark sleep clothes and nestled securely against the small of Ren’s back.  So much emotional closeness between the men that still seemed to elude you.  It drew your attention back from the sleeping man to what was happening in your waking hours.  Your mind picturing the prison of your cave, Ren nodding as his frowned pulling you suddenly tight to his chest.  He smelt just as you remembered him; steel and oil mixed with sandalwood and soap.  His embrace solid and masculine as you melted into it, right now everything you needed.  This was a strange dream then, to be as aware of your waking-self as the gently snoozing Hux who slept next to Ren.  Where had that image come from, and why was it so hypnotic in its comforting? It was not like you often saw either man asleep, or take the time to watch them when they did._

_“Is this a dream?”_

_Hux stirred muttering something at your question.  Though it was Ren who answered your question, smiling as you looked back at Hux._

_“Not exactly Pet, where are you?”_

_You frowned at him, accepting with a flush of relief that somehow this was The Force at work.  You couldn’t answer, though you relayed all you knew of your location.  Pushing forwards what you hoped was a mental image of your cell, whilst you looked back at Hux.  The Emperor looked so peaceful almost angelic asleep; his lips pursed as they inhaled and exhaled a steady stream of air.  For all that you lived with them, they rarely slept on whilst you were awake.  Well, Hux barely slept at all; and Ren you now suspected had deliberately woken and slept alongside you to act as your guardian.  It made you wonder at that thought, what had been so pressing that both men had left you alone.  Suddenly angry that as all powerful as they were they had allowed this to happen.  Six meals had passed since your capture.  Was that indicative of six days, or did they feed you more than once a day; how long had you been gone? Ren blinked, long dark lashes that slowly kissed the tops of his cheeks.  Kissing your forehead, before his thumb softly wiped away the scaling tears that spilt at the heartfelt anger and isolation of your situation.  He looked sad and frustrated._

_“Four days, and I am looking Pet, we both are. I, we will find you.”_

_His eyes blew wide with his own sorrow, as you spilled out your misery.  Ending with a brave demand to know why he hadn’t come for you, didn’t they want you.  He pulled you tighter to him, almost crushing you with the strength in both arms.  Demanding that you had to believe he was coming for you.  His face pulling into a snarl as you continued your tale, adding Brendol’s plans for you. His furry washing over you like a hot wave of larva, at the man’s treatment of you.  Holding your face between both hands to make you watch him as his top lip pulled back from his teeth spitting out both an instruction and a deadly promise._

_“Tell Brendol Hux from me; that if he touches you, I will personally rip his throat out.”_

_It shocked you to hear him speak that threat, the certainty of his willingness to fulfil that intent.  Ren had never been possessive of you.  Nor had he ever shown such a passion to preventing others from touching you, you thought he fucked you just because he could.  That he cared enough to choose to kill for you was as much as shock as discovering Hux had.  You knew he disliked Brendol Hux, but with time you had learnt that that probably came from the man’s past dealings with his son’s.  The lack of care in the young Armitage Hux’s upbringing.  More than once you had suspected he wanted to harm the man, but he had always shown respect and deferred to Hux’s orders not to.  It made you wonder why nobody had suspected Brendol before. What the Emperor’s plans where for his father now.  Would he order the man’s execution himself, or simply look the other way whilst Ren killed him?  Was he capable of Patricide?  Something made you suspect it wouldn’t matter to Ren._

_“Pet, where have they taken you?”_

_You shivered at the roughness, the passion in his word.  Ren sensed this, taking a deep breath to ground himself.  His rumbling tone all gentleness as he repeated the question to you, stroking at your arms and your hair.  Anything to reassure you, to keep you calm.  You repeated all you knew of the place, adding with frustration that you still couldn’t answer; but it was cold and the air tasted oddly of salt.  Muttering that you knew nothing.  That your captors hadn’t even planned on you being taken, just the babies.  There was an edge of urgency adding to the dream, you were waking you realised.  Becoming more aware of the aching of your back, and a burning twisting pain in your side.  Ren looked worried at that, but you brushed him aside, assuring him that you often hurt.  You were carrying two children, this was nothing to the throbbing in your ankles after a walk.  He shook his head, but you refused to listen to his worry, closing your eyes and snuggling into his chest as you begged him to let you fall asleep in his arms.  You were so tired, could he please just hold you whilst you slept. He was warm comforting, almost like the crystal he had left you.  Ren shook his head, excitement vibrating untangling himself from you, apologising that he had to hurry.  Kissing your head one last time, before he pushed you from him._

_“I know where you are; why the chip is blocked.  I am coming hold on pet, and I promise vengeance.”_

He thrust you from the dream into reality, startling you with how suddenly you found yourself waking.  Something was wrong, though you couldn’t put your finger on exactly what it was.  You were so confused, so lonely after the company of your dream.  It had felt so real.  Each stroke of their hands had felt so lifelike that your lips still tingled from the rasp of stubble as Ren had kissed you.  Your cheeks were soaked with a sheet of salt tears, that wet into the mattress beneath you.  You knew that the Force worked in ways you an unsensitive couldn’t understand, but ad it honestly been more than a dream?  Was Ren’s convicted statement that he knew where you were and was coming for you true?  It was hard to decide what you believed, and you forced yourself to sit up, to wake fully from your slumber.  Wincing as the movement loosened out the stich that had briefly developed in your back.  Brow knitting into an unvoiced question, you lifted the gem; what was it?  The stone was the last piece of security you held and as always it was kept safe.  Clasped in the palms of your hand as you slept, your only measure of comfort in this even darker time.  

Unsure you twirled it between forefinger and thumb, blinking from the sudden extreme brightness.  Of late it seemed to glow, but right now it shone, emanating a heatless light that made you refuse to question your dream.  Hope seemed to suffuse you; dragging you from the dream making you sob with relief into full wakefulness.  You weren’t sure how you knew it, but you knew you had to trust Ren.  Someone was coming, you just hoped they would be in time.

The echoing steps of heavy boots in the hallway, foretold the turning of the key in the lock to your door.  Quickly you hid the gem under the mattress.  The light inside it dulling to almost unseen throb that seemed to match the racing of your heart. 

The commandant entered with Astrid at his heels, his breath ragged and his facial expression one of perpetual annoyance at you.  You lowered your gaze, easily passing the fear of nearly being discovered with contraband as nervousness at Brendol’s reappearance.  He had kept himself away from you, doubtless any physical care for his son’s whore was beneath him; so what had driven him here?  He palmed the metal key, pocketing it somewhere in his tunic.  Crossing his hands to stare down his nose intently at you, letting his stare make you nervous before he started pacing the room in a rhythmical stroll that made your heart hiccup nervously. 

All of this, your dwellings were such an archaic way of living.  The heavy iron key instead of a magnetic lock.  The fluttering crude torches that replaced electronic lighting, even the wiring in the outside corridor was beyond dated, it was ancient.  The building must have been very old, for all it appeared to be carved out by man.  Was that what helped Ren realise where you had been taken?  Had you given him enough to find you, a planet was a large place to search.  

Eventually Brendol’s pacing stopped, so they stood once more one side to side.  Shoulder to shoulder like comrades in arms, almost equals for all she deferred to him.  There was more to their relationship, a sort of history that ran between them both.  Much more than the passing of orders from master to servant.  It intrigued you and not for the first time you wished you knew more, had dared to ask Hux more about his past, or even just more about Astrid.  Hux’s past had always seemed so bleak, so painful to him that it was safer not to ask.  He was so volatile that you didn’t want his shame at that to become anger at you.  Ignoring the natural need to be subservient and beneath them, you looked up.  The hackles on the back of your spine screaming danger at you.

They both towered over you, neither finding much pleasure in being in your presence.  A twinge hit your side again and you grit your teeth, ignoring it to wait out their staring.   As much as you wanted to scream, to demand on knowing why they were here, you would wait.  You would neither anger them, nor would you risk being to subservient.  You would bide your time, and cling safely to Ren’s dream promise, he had to be coming for you.

“There are no changes in your pregnancy?”

The question was spoken as a statement, so casually reminiscent of his son’s early dealings with you that you almost answered him.  Catching yourself at the last minute, and narrowing your eyes at him, as you covered your stomach.  This was the reasoning for this visit then, he wanted to know how soon he could touch your babies, how soon he could rip them from your clutches.  You scowled, it was a risky move, but you would not help him there.  For all Astrid had been privy to many things, your medical records were thankfully not one of them.  It was unusual, but not unheard of to carry twins to term, but Astrid didn’t know your due date nor that you had conceived earlier than even Hux had realised.  She had though one of the earlier attempts to make you miscarry was successful, and at only a month off by the medic’s calculations, how far along did Astrid guess you to be.  Had she realised the farce Hux had pulled, had Brendol realised what had really been spoken between yourself and Arabella that day in the office?  You shook your head informing them that everything seemed normal, that both men had told you very little.  Adding with a sniffle that you hadn’t realised it was Hux’s intentions to get you with child.

Brendol scowled down at you, and as closely watched by Astrid as you spoke you kept your lies to a simple bending of the truth.  None of it was a lie you told yourself, ignoring the annoyance of the stitch that kept wavering in your back.  Just a simple warping of the facts, rearranging them to fit the story you needed them to be.  Far easier to convince someone than a barefaced fallacy.  Brendol had trained his son how to lie, and in turn Hux had you.  The Emperor’s subtle little ways of showing you of how diplomacy worked, would be a tool to prevent you from surrendering what little power you had in your latest prison. 

Another pain hit, and you managed to hide it, as they discussed how long they could safely conceal you here.  Brendol taking great delight in informing you that here your locator chip wouldn’t work, smirking as he boasted that even his son’s dog would not find you here,

“The natural force abilities of this planet make it impossible to discern an individual Force-signature from anywhere but the planet’s surface.  Right now, even that idiotic menace of his; Kylo Ren is hunting you blind.  Well that is if he even cares enough to find you.”    

There was a taunt to his claiming that Ren didn’t care.  Was he privy to how much Kylo had been away from you?  Stupidly you looked up at him, realising at the last moment that the clear of showing anger in your face was a mistake.  He like his son liked that fire, sickening you as you could almost sense how much he looked forwards to stripping you of it.  He dismissed Astrid, and you watched the woman go, turning to look back a Brendol before she flitted off into the corridor.     

“You think my son’s lover would actively seek out his rival?  To help to reinstall you back to a position he could never hope to achieve?”  

The anger at his suggestion lay pooled in your belly, ready to strike but you did not.  Pushing it down, to where you could control your emotions.  Careful to measure your aggression against the side effects of giving in and releasing it.  Brendol owed his success to the bodies he had climbed upon to reach his position, like most men in power he trusted no one and suspected all.  To him it was only natural to draw on his own fears of competition, overlaying them where he could with your own experiences.  He was suggesting there was a possible rivalry of sorts between you and Kylo Ren.  Relying on Hux’s possessiveness of you, to the thing that drove him to find you being something that also drove Ren away.  Had he not stopped to consider Ren wanted to do this too, that Ren had willingly fucked you.  Or had you not stopped to consider Ren may have had ulterior motives in the delay in finding you?

He couldn’t have, you told yourself at the horror filled thought that spiked your spine with ice.  All of Ren’s behaviour had been to protect you.  He had been the first of the two men to win you children’s confidence.  A look up at Brendol told you he knew you were fighting back that fear.  But he did not know that the children may not be genetically the Emperor’s.  He had never seen Ren touch your belly, or the times he had stood between you and Hux’s temper.  No, that your children were possibly genetically Ren’s at least gave you a tie to him.  Kylo wasn’t lying, if not for you he was coming for your children.  It was a stupid line of thought, and you should never have fallen prey to the insecurities it fetched.  But you were emotional and afraid and stupidly you spat out a taunt at him, simply telling him he was wrong.

You knew it was further than you should have gone, and instantly you wished you had kept your mouth shut.  You had given him too much details, you had played right into his hands.  Brendol had certainly done his homework before deciding you would be fetched here.  Though he had failed to research the probability of some avenues, and you had just confirmed at least one of them.  Swiftly he took hold of your bicep, fingers digging deeply into your unprotected skin.  He was cross, and despite his age he managed to effortlessly pull you to your feet.    

“What makes you think that?”

He genuinely was frightened.  What did he know of the Emperor’s and Kylo Ren’s relationship.  Did he know they were Force-bonded, did he have the ridiculous notion that you were too?  Brendol Hux was afraid that you knew something that he didn’t.  He had meticulously planned this, what had he missed?  Or if not that, what had triggered his fear, did he know Ren was close or that he had found where they had stashed you?  It was a possibility, but you would be wiser to keep your mouth shut.  It was not a time to play your aces yet, or to let him know you could tip him over the edge and have him running.

He pulled you closer to him, using the bulk of his body and the knowledge that you knew he was a man to scared you.  It was tempting, but now was not the time to give into the savage sense of surety that Ren’s instance was correct.  That he and hopefully the Emperor were on their way, that they would surely bring with them every weapon they had to get their daughters back.  Better to do as the Emperor would and keep silent, to clutch all your cards close to your heart.  Hux’s training of you warned you of the tempers of men like him, now was not the time to boast or show confidence. You would remain small, insignificant; helpless, it was best that you did not anger Brendol Hux.

“Pet?”

The moniker grated on your teeth as Brendol summoned your attention back to him.  Tutting at your distraction, enjoying your barely concealed distaste at him using it.  The use of that name belonged to someone else, he had not earned the right to it.  Brendol ran a finger down one bared shoulder, making you queasy at his invasive touch as he demanded to know what the risks where to the children.  Informing you with a smirk that he knew that was why his son had not used you in months.  You swallowed, hiding your shock at his assumptions.  Did he think this, or had that been what Hux had told others to this to save his face?  Or had Astrid come to this very mistaken answer to why there had been less sheets to change in your rooms.  You had become undesirable to Hux, but he had never shared with you any complications with your pregnancy.  

The tyrant went on, bombarding you with more questions.  Asking how the complications would affect the delivery of the children; when the time came, had it left any deformities to his son’s offspring.  That was a dangerous path you had not considered yet in your latest prison.  What would Brendol do to your daughters given Ren was the most likely biological father.  Hux and Ren had not a formal partnership, nor had they made public knowledge the genetics of your children.  How would Brendol treat a child that was not of his line, that was worse than a watered-down bastardisation of his bloodline.  The Force-sensitive child was even less likely to be Hux’s than either baby, and you had assumed her sister too was unlikely to be Hux’s.  Your worst nightmare was that Brendol would have both children killed on that discovery of their parentage.  You need more information, anything that would that would give you a small piece on the playing fields of this petty game of politics.  You asked what he would do with your children, unsurprised at his answer.

“We tried to stop you conceiving, then from carrying, anything to stop this further bastardisation of my bloodlines.  You seem to have failed to of heeded that warning, and my son has been so incredibly selfish.”

He went on, explaining that any offspring was heinous a crime in itself.  Asking you who would want a bastard for an Emperor in the first place.  He had pushed his son, but never expected him to reach so far then had he?  How had he felt when his son developed an attachment you, had there been pride at being the Emperor’s father, dashed by you when Hux chose you to carry his children.  Picked a Resistance member of no important bloodlines.  Hux was supposed to die childless and his nephew, Brendol’s grandson, a fool blooded Hux should have been his chosen heir.  You were a traitor and a terrorist, unfit to be a mother making Armitage’s choices rule him out as a fit father.  He was too compromised to do what was needed, he had already broken too many rules for you.  You needed to go, his children would be brought up under his direction.  Indoctrinated in his beliefs and kept hidden until the Emperor’s death.  He would on Armitage Hux’s deathbed choose which of his grandchildren was most suitable.   

It had been as you suspected, he was behind every assassination attempt, every attempt to harm your children.  And worse his own son could be considered a casualty in this personal vendetta.  You couldn’t have hated him more for the arrogance of his answer, or the way he sought to insult you by suggesting that you had wanted this position.  You thought to Arabella, your suspicions naturally incriminating her in their traitorous little ring.  You asked the senior Hux if she knew this, pleasantly shocked when he pulled apart that theory.

“My idiot daughter offering to displace her brother, not likely.  She’s become as stupidly fond of you as he had, no she is unaware.  Now you answer my question, what are the risks to your pregnancy.”   

You for the first time were reduced to a barefaced lie, telling him it was the drugs and assassination attempts, that nobody really knew the total effects.  You shrugged of his suspicions, pretending you knew all about the supposed complications, praying that this one lie you spoke would be believed in the mist of all your truth. 

The laugh that he gave was unkind and cruel, and you pulled back Brendol following until you were sandwiched between himself and the wall.  Scenting your fear like a cat does its prey.  No, not a cat you decided.  Brendol was too old, too ugly to be called a cat.  He was more like a wallowing lizard, like a dragon as his tongue swept over his bottom lip.  He was unconvinced, and you did the worst thing possible.  You babbled, your nervousness bringing an edge of fear to your quavering voice.  He kept his tone monosyllabic.  Letting you know that he was unconvinced, running a finger across your bottom lip as he informed you that it was better safe than sorry.  That at least you still had that pretty little mouth of yours, that given all the practice you must have had he could make do with that.

You were horrified.  Sickened beyond belief that he would ask for this so soon.  Taking a gulping breath of air, you tried to steady yourself.  Ignoring the re-emergence of you back pain in your struggle with his intentions.  His meaning was obvious as he continued to stroke your lip, slotting two fingers together in the first attempts to slide them into your mouth.  His meaning was laced between his sneering ogling of you.  He didn’t quite believe you enough not to touch you, but at this moment he would concede to just raping your mouth.  His fingers pushed at the seam between your lips, and suddenly with a savagery you didn’t realise you still carried you bit him.  Digging your teeth into his flesh until you tasted blood.  Not letting go until the other hand back handed you, knocking you to the floor.

So much for the illusion of a troubled pregnancy you thought as he wrestled on top of you, swearing his way through promised punishments, if you did not hold still for him.  No! You screamed trying uselessly to push him off you.  Already you had done so much to survive you would not debase yourself any further.  He would not take your children, nor harm any that you cared about.  No longer would he be permitted to defile what was not his to control.  It was only as he gripped your wrists pinning them to your head that you fired your last shot.  Anger more than fear, making you use your only chance at stopping him.

“Ren promises he’ll gut you himself if you touch me.”

There was such conviction in your hissing threat, that Brendol paled.  Drawing back on his heels, as though electrocuted.  It was not the threat that worried him, he already knew that if Ren got hold of him this was the most likely outcome for him.  It was instead the security in your tone, and the knowledge that somehow Ren had communicated with you reacently.  His son would know where you were being hidden.  Now was not the time to back off, and you wrenched your wrists from his grip.  Scowling as clumsily you shifted under him, doing your best not to touch any part of him.

It was a breath or two later that you saw stars, the commandant pulling his hand back from your face.  He spoke with fear for all he tried to show conviction to his threat and climbed off you.  Promising that this was just an interlude, that he would be back once he had discovered the true stability of your pregnancy.  He took the torch, pettily leaving you in the dark as though you had not faced worst punishments and torture.  Adding before he shut the door on you, that even if his son had not lied about your fragility there was time to wait.    

You waited as long as it took to shut the door.  Heart thudding as you clamped your jaws against a further wave of back pain.  Counting thunderous shaky breaths, until enough time had passed for Brendol to be safely away from you.  In the dark of your chamber you didn’t need your sight to feel the wetness that slivered out between your legs to wet the mattress.  Nor the light of the gem to confirm it was clear.  Your back pains had been worse than stiches, and not you truly were frightened and alone in the dark. The moment you had been dreading and hoping for was more terrifying than you had imagined and to make it worse the start of a long goodbye to your children.  You had to hold on, until they came here.  This was a first labour, and with the pains so spread it gave you hope it would be a long one.  Rolling over you clutched the stone to your chest, pushing down any panic to remain calm for your children, whispering a forlorn plea for them **hurry** into the darkness.   


	37. Chapter 37

Something was going on, probably that Brendol was scared. It must have been the only reason for the hurried footsteps running up and down the corridors.  They were planning, probably to have you move, it seemed the logical next move given your message to him from Ren.  The old Commandant had realised that if Ren could talk to you, he probably knew where you were being held.  The last thing you needed now was to expedite their removal of you.  You needed to still be here when Ren got here.  You hid your labour pains from your captors.  Easy enough to do in a darkly lit, empty room.  But with every wave of pain you struggled to keep your screams silent.  Choking back each nightmarish thought on the complications of giving birth alone.  It was an obvious risk to make though, Brendol must not catch on until it was too late to act on it.  The longer you could keep your babies’ eminent arrival as secret, the longer they were still yours. 

It was terrifying; an act that should have taken place with medics and trained midwives was taking place alone in the cold and dark.  It hurt worse than you had ever felt before, and there was no one to witness that.  Not even a hand you could squeeze to ease each excruciating cramp.  Instead you were forced to bundle up blankets.  Forcing them into your mouth to bite down on and hide the grunts of pain.  Sawing your teeth deep into the sweat stained cloth.  Trying to muffle what you did here, trying to swallow back the fear. 

That they were early would not have been a course for worry back home either in the Hux estate.  There would have been every imaginable medical equipment you could possibly need, every risk already covered by Hux’s planning.  Here locked in this dingy and dirty cave, who knew what could go wrong.  Of course, twins were often early.  The added size and weight of both bodies were often too much for a mother to carry.  You had been repeatedly warned by both men that you were likely to deliver early, but that it would be no real cause for concern.  But that had followed up that warning, with a promise that they would be there, and he wasn’t you were alone.  The other promise that he would oversee what they needed, that there would be the best of medical care was also a lie.  You were alone, and in pain.  It was hard enough to concentrate on your breathing; let alone trying to calculate how long you had been experiencing labour for.

Your life before was literally worlds away from the primitive dwelling.  Arkanis may have lacked the extravagance of Naboo but it was far better than the lonely exhaustion you went through now.  It had to of been hours now, since the first cramps and fatigue was slowly settling. The tiredness adding just another layer to your fears, another cause to concerned at your situation. 

You would need more strength to do this, and you didn’t dare ask for food.  Or even the simple necessities such as water and clean fabrics to wrap your children in.  No, you needed to do nothing that would draw attention to you.  The second the children were delivered he would take them; if he allowed them to be delivered naturally. 

The footsteps outside grew more frequent, either more people or the same moving quicker.  Almost to a running tempo as men yelled undistinguishing orders adding to the chaos.  Somewhere the bellowing voice of Brendol Hux cutting through it and demanding order and that only necessities were to be taken.  So they were moving then, but how soon.  It was only a matter of time now before he came to check on you, or to have you moved to a transport vehicle.  If the children came he was all primed and ready to take them.  It had now become a race between Brendol Hux and your babies’ fathers; as to who would find you first.

You rationalised your fears, the pains were bad, but there wasn’t a need to push yet.  There was time yet, and you would take that time and use it as your weapon.  Reminding yourself that the surroundings were nothing.  Women had been giving birth for thousands of years, and they had done so with more primitive resources than you had.  Their offspring and the human race had survived and so you too could do this.  You had to be able to do this for your children.

But it hurt and you didn’t know how much worse that would get.  With the next wave of contractions, panic threatened to take total hold.  Treacherous second thoughts reminding you that not all had survived.  That even now, on the less developed planets the infant mortality rate was still high.  Images of you bleeding out, dead or dying on the cold floor contested for your confidence. 

You scolded yourself for that.  Ren’s warning that one child could sense your fear was as sobering as the mental image of Hux scalding you for it.  His stiff upper lip attitude was to perceiver on, and you would not give it.  Nor could you subject your children to your fears.  It would be your body that would give you any complications, and not theirs.  They must not feel guilt for this, they must be protected in every way.  You gritted your teeth imagining Hux stood over you, ordering you to take control of your emotions.  The control, the calm he would have exuberated right now spurring you on.  The taunting that would trigger you anger, taking that and moulding it into your stubborn side, using it to temper your resolve.  If something weren’t wrong you would be blamed and be dammed if you would give **_him_** any more ammunition to punish you for this.  Gritting your teeth in defiance of the pain, you rolled over onto your knees, panting slow steady breaths as you rocked your hips against the ache.  You had no idea when you would know it was time to push, this whole experience so new to you.  Though you expected the contractions to be less spaced than they were now.  You prayed to anyone who would hear you that you still had more time. 

Closing your eyes, you lowered your head on to your forearms.  Bargaining with your children that they hold on for their fathers; hoping that they could.  Taking greedy gulps of the cooled cavernous air; you tried to slow down your thoughts.  Imagining there was someone with you for support.  That someone stroked your back and whispered words of encouragement.  It was all too much, and closing your eyes you shuddered against another overwhelming clamping of your gut.  It felt like someone tried to crush your innards, and even scared as you were you appreciated how tough you children must be to survive that pain.  How much tougher must they become to survive life. 

The wave of pain over, you again panted, your body foolishly relaxing against another wave of burning cramps.  Another and you knew with a shuddering sense of failure they were growing even closer, and your rescuers were not.  You needed to breath, you needed to gain some calm.  Maybe an idiotic thought supplied it would slow this down, give you at least a little more time.  Lowering your head again you tempered your breathing, against your cramps; wishing Ren had shown you how he meditated, anything to distract yourself from this terror and pain. 

The next wave brought tears you couldn’t control, and angrily you had let them fall.  Brushing the evidence of them away.  Reasoning that you wouldn’t give into them, but you would allow what your body needed.  Soon you would cry enough, but for now you would take that anger and use it.  it would centre you in your task and bring some last reserves of energy. 

There was a crash and then the room around you trembled.  Yelping you curled tighter on yourself, your stomach the most precious thing here.  As always, your children were the first that needed to be protected.  Dust and small stinging rocks fell from the roof above.  Falling in a thin sheet of dust on your back, that clung to you.  Dulling the sheen of sweat that coated you with a layer of itchy pale grey rocks, that you didn’t waste energy clearing from you. 

Another and it brought Brendol Hux to your room.  Struggling with the key to speedily turn it and thrust open the door.  You struggled quickly to look nonchalant, and bored; but Brendol Hux was too clever for such a rouse.  His eyes darted quickly to the wet patch, before taking in the rest of you.  His jawbone moving in annoyance, as he stared in horror at you.  Huffing his displeasure, gloved fingertips pinched the bridge of his nose.  Muttering to himself profanities; as though this was something you had deliberately done to upset him. 

From his clothing and the look on his face he had come to move you.  Now he gritted his teeth clamping his jaw shut as he strode towards you.  Fury as evident as his intent for you.  He took your arm and tried dragging you to your feet.  Ignoring what was obviously the middle of labour to try pulling you from the room.  Swearing loudly at you, as repeatedly he told you; you were useless.

You had no time to give into his name calling, as another wave made you moan and drop to your knees but the door.  Skinning them in the sudden drop but unable to rise again to your feet no matter what he threatened you with.

“Astrid, get your bloody self in here!”

He bellowed his command, and a breath or two later the woman appeared.  Her clothing matching in purpose to Brendol’s, as much as the distaste in her face.  You took a moments petty satisfaction there, that you had put a stopper into their plans.  Coupled with a wild hope a heartbeat later that it had been enough time, that the earthquakes that shook your rooms were somehow your rescuers.

“This bloody nerf has seen fit to decide on now, to drop her calves.” 

She didn’t need Brendol Hux’s hissed description of what was going on though he gave her one anyway, she was a woman.  You gave another muted yelp and clutched at your belly, trying to remember what Hux’s pregnancy guides had warned you to expect. 

At least one twin was ready, the cramps were beginning to almost blend into one.  Bringing with them an overwhelming need to push.  Astrid knew this, assuring Brendol that if they could just hold off the attack long enough, that they wouldn’t need to take you at all.  You pretended not to notice what she had said, or the black look of warning her superior shot her as he strode off to lead the defensive.  But the warning was there.  This really was an attack and friend or foe there could be bargaining to be had here.  Even if they were not the First Order, your children were worth a hefty ransom.  They would do well to keep you alive and well; Hux would pay dearly for his daughters. 

But as a medical droid slipped into join your makeshift labour ward, another thought came.  Both Brendol and Astrid might have time to deliver them and steal them, and failing that they only needed one; your firstborn.

Astrid seemed unflustered by the job she was set.  Moving around with such as sense of confidence that you suspected Brendol had always planned for her to play midwife.  It unnerved you that had she had the skills the Emperor would have used her to deliver you children.  What then was his reasons for not; did she perhaps lack those skills.  She knelt then went to lift up your skirts, and instinctively you kicked out, backing off from her.  As less then politely, you told her not to touch you.

“One way or another those babies are coming, and you need my help.  We can fight and he’ll order you to do this unconscious and you might wake up; or we can work together.”

Her reply was not the violence filled answer you had expected, nor was there emotion to it.  Panting you thought about her words; if Brendol had the means to surgically remove the twins then why had he not done this before now?  Did you dare pull her bluff, or was she being honest.  There was no hint of a lie in her voice, or desperation to suggest she needed you to comply.  She didn’t even move closer; just an unblinking stare as she waited for your actions to her words.

If she was speaking the truth, then this was your only way to remain in control; to somehow thwart their plans was to appear to cooperate.  It had to be done, was it not how you had learned an uneasy coexistence with your captors; for your children.  The reasons for why you had to form this uneasy alliance were for the greater good.  Unconscious or dead; you would have no options left to you.  Astrid took a deep breath, then rose stiffly to her feet.  Unable to voice your agreement to let her help you, instead you asked her a question.  Holding onto your stomach as you waited for her reaction.

“Have you ever done this before?”

It paused her footsteps and she turned, to look at you.  Taking this as an invitation to come back, a silent agreement passing that she would help.  You let go of your stomach, listening to the sounds of her returning feet.  Allowing her to lift your skirts, to freely touch your belly.

“Once, a long time ago; I helped deliver a boy.”

She didn’t look at you, just continued an assessment.  Her hands smoothing over your bump, with a small medical device.  Delivering a baby was not an easy task, and gasping back mewls of pain you asked for more details.  She shook her head, only agreeing to answer one of your questions; your concern that the baby had survived her delivery of it.

“Oh he lived, and his mother too.”

She continued both to assess your labour, and a to give a monotone account of the child.  Tear washing her eyes, as more emotion slowly crept through.

“He was so beautiful, healthy, and so innocent; his mother loved him so much; yet his father saw only disappointment in him.  I watched him grow up, helped to feed him, kiss away his tears, decry his father’s harsh words.”

She gave an account of the boy’s loves and fears.  How he hated the dark and cried when his cat died.  It was so odd to see her show any kindness, that you paused just listening to her tale.  Allowing her to carry out the checks that she needed to, gritting your teeth against the invasive touches.  You knew that Astrid was older than you, possibly Ren.  But you didn’t realise she had been quite that old.  From the love she permitted into her voice, you almost wondered if the child had been in some ways hers.  Perhaps she and the mother had raised him together, it would explain the love she so obviously felt for him.  You had never considered Astrid as anything more than a woman who hated you.  She gestured for you to lay back and allow a more invasive check.  Venomously spitting out her last sentence through a gritted jaw.  

“Then one day when he was nine I was forced to stand by as his actions murdered his mother.”

You had to overt your gaze, unable to look back at the pure hate clearly painted on her face at the memories of the child she had delivered.  Shock making you wonder how on earth a nine-year old boy could possibly be responsible for murdering his mother.  How had a child thought to do that, what could have possibly led him to kill anyone let alone the woman who had nurtured him.  Had the child understood, or was this another evil First Order tactic used in training.  You already knew some of the horror stories from cadets that had fled their officer training schools.

“His mother had to flee, and rather than let her go he selfishly betrayed her to his father; the man she fled from.  He killed her for trying to leave him.”

Your blood ran icy cold, making you shiver despite the exertion of your labour.  Your opinion of Astrid had been set to change, but now it had grown more steadfast in your hate of her.  How could a nine year old possibly know that his actions would lead to something so cruel.  Wickeder yet was Astrid placing the title of murder on such innocent shoulders.  You asked what had happened to the boy, hoping that it had not been as macabre an ending as your imagination supplied for you.

“He grew up, unaffected by his actions I suppose.  Either way, me taking you from him will be punishment enough.”

“The Emperor?”

You voice was barely louder than your breath, how she had heard you whisper his name was beyond you.  But she nodded, making you tense in shock, amazed you could possibly be correct.  It was such a startling discovery that you forgot to breath at her confirmation.  Let alone swallow what little saliva your body could still produce.  What astonished you the most though was the surge of defensive anger you felt for Hux.  The idea that as a small boy, a woman his mother had clearly trusted with him allowed a petty vendetta to cloud her opinions of him.  That his simple mistake had led to   Horror at the treatment of an innocent made you worry further for your children, what was to await them if their grandfather managed to take them from you and she was allowed any part in their care.  Her blame of Hux had already led her to work with the man who had raised his hand to kill his mother.  A woman she had claimed to care for.  How could you possibly trust this woman to care that your daughters survived infancy, let alone were raised with any semblance of love.  Would left to her; the sins of the father be visited on his children?

Her touch was all the worse to endure now, and your lack of trust harder to hide.  A grimace made you realise Astrid had sensed this, though it didn’t still her hand.  Her brows pulling into a frown as she demanded of you to answer truthfully how long you had been in labour.

You shook your head, incredulous at her not already knowing you would be unable to answer her question.  You had no idea of time in this place, and she had pettily played a part in this.  Hours and minutes were all the same, all you knew was that you were exhausted, so close to being unable to continue.  Her lips pursed, as she checked over your vitals with a small, hand held device; scowling over the results.  Apparently, there was no reason your labour was at a standstill.  Your own body was progressing normally, and the first child in place to be delivered; she couldn’t understand the hold up. 

“What is the holdup Astrid? I expected at least one child by now.”

Brendol Hux had returned, a blaster ready drawn in one hand, and his voice displaying his impatience.  Had you the energy you would have rolled your eyes at his impatience, and mockingly offered your apologies at keeping him. 

“So did I, but something is wrong and already one child is showing signs of distress.”

A twinge of guilt.  Had you somehow caused that?  When you had asked them to hold out for their fathers, you had not wanted it to be at the risk of their health; that was the last thing you wanted to risk.

“Can we operate?”

Brendol was as always trying for the practical answer for him and not at all the safest; for you at least.  Astrid in answer shook her head whilst gesturing for Brendol to step to one side of your prison chamber with her.  Huddling together, all further words clearly not meant for your ears.  You listened to them converse, the occasional word louder than they meant them, only your tiredness stopping you from giving way to panic.  Brendol had had enough of waiting for you, and now was prepared to risk a surgical delivery of your children.  For some reason Astrid didn’t think this was a good idea, and was trying to convince Brendol to come around to her way of thinking.  You looked over at them, the contractions so close that your body barely had time to recover from the last one, before the next shook your fragile frame.  Your baby was in distress, and Hux was nowhere about you.  In your worried discussions at home, Ren had promised you that Hux would be here.  Even now assuring you that they were close, to hold on and all would be okay.  Well it wasn’t okay, and to top it all off your babies were suffering.  Oh, how you wished you had never left the family home that day, that heartbroken or not you had stayed.  Both Ren and Hux would have protected you for the sake of their children, you would have been at no risk now. 

Astrid had taken you in such a hurry, that medical help had not featured foremost in her plans for you.  Whilst she had planned for a normal delivery with no complications, this was out of her experience, it all was more than anyone could cope with.  You were scared, and with it was coming a surge of nervous energies, it was hard to remain calm.  Brendol would not stop to weigh up the risks, he just wanted the children.  He probably would have taken you too, if only to prove his mastery and control over something his son could not.  Now he was in a hurry, and you were stopping his speedy escape.  Carving what he needed from your stomach seemed to be his only option to him.  He needed to be away before Ren got here, and to do that he needed at least one of your children.   If nothing else it would work as a shield to get past Hux.  But Brendol wasn’t stupid enough to think he could control Ren did his son.  He lacked the years of bullying and mental conditioning that had acclimatised his son to his control.  Even as Emperor his son still felt he had to answer to his father.  Would Brendol even be punished for his part in all of this, or would he be proved again not capable of patricide. 

How safe then would your babies be if Brendol Hux realised that biologically they were probably not his.  You hadn’t given it much thought but if one child was definitely force sensitive, then chances were both your daughters were sired by Ren and not Hux.  It would be so easy for him to dispose of them once he discovered this and had them to himself.  Would he even stop to consider that his son would love them for being his lover’s children if they were not his?  Or would they become more of an abomination in his eyes or just a waste of the resources he had expended to get them?  Whatever the Astrid was telling Brendol it didn’t sound good, and you doubted when it came down to it that he would listen to her.  He was too self-serving to consider Astrid’s worries; and much as you didn’t want to consider it your best option to deliver them now.  You could hazard a guess as to the reason for the complications.

You drew in a deep breath, exhaling slowly through your nose counting slowly down from ten as you did it again.  You needed to calm your thoughts, convince your daughters that it was okay, that you would protect them.  It was more the force sensitive girl that you needed to convince, and she seemed reluctant to listen.  Closing your eyes you rolled over onto your knees, dropping to your forearms.  Ren had shown you how he facilitated the force connection with your daughter, now you wondered if you could manage to bridge the link alone.  If Ren could choose to link minds with you, then possibly you could encourage her to do so with you.  Finding her was a simple task of feeling for her, or perhaps it was just that she was always willing and receptive to her mother.  She was frightened and given her ability to sense your own emotions you were not surprised.  She could only understand emotions, she couldn’t the reasons behind them.  All she knew was something scary waited for her outside, something that would take her from you the moment she was born.  It wasn’t fair you screamed within the confines of your mind.  None of this was her fault, and she was paying the price for her father’s games.  Both of them were.            

You have to come now, you begged her.  Not so much with words, as gentle images; lies of what would happen if she came.  She wasn’t stupid though, and was not going to come easily.  You were useless you realised, Ren was so much better at consoling your daughter than you were.  It was not fair; how could he of left you when you needed him.  What use where the deathtroopers Astrid had slipped you past compared to her father at emotional support.

**_‘Listen to your mother.  I promise it’s all going to be okay.’_ **

Ren’s words startled you.  The weight in your stomach hurting you as it jumped with you.  Tears leaked through your closed lids, tickling your nose; but you would not risk brushing them away.  You would not risk breaking this connection.  Both of you needed him, her for the soothing reassurance he pushed her way, and you as someone to cling onto in your own fear. 

**_‘Oh little-Pet.’_ **

He had waited for his daughter to respond to his words before he turned his attention to you.  There was a gentleness in his tone that he had never shown before. Almost as though he cared for you, and not just the children.  You shuddered under the rawness of the emotion, feeling not for the first time so vulnerable.  You wanted to give into it, you were sick of having to be brave you wanted nothing more than to give into tears and to collapse into his arms.  To weep and step back from reality; to allow someone else to take charge.  But you couldn’t you told yourself, there was too much at cost.  Opening your eyes, you took a deep breath and with the next contraction pushed hard, screaming aloud with both the effort and the pain as you felt your daughter move further along the birthing canal.

“Is she?”

The comment from Brendol was silenced by the sounds of running feet.  His face one of suspicious dread, as he straightened up.   It was a guard, his armour intact, but charred and covered in dust.  Odd you thought, you hadn’t heard anything to suggest something was going on outside.  He was no doubt a paid mercenary guessing from the un dignified and definitely undisciplined yelling as he entered the room.  Not sparing a glance for what he might be interrupting.

“They’re here Sir, somehow they by passed the defence system we didn’t realise until-”  

The look Brendol Hux shot him made him stop short.  Raising his blaster-rifle to pull to into a lazy salute of attention, waiting nervously for more orders.  Strange then that a man so dedicated to order would use inferior troops, or perhaps this was the best he could manage.  Your stomach flipped at the gifted knowledge that they were expecting someone.  They had been expecting first Order forces, and been trying to move you before they arrived, and now it was too late.  Your rescuers were here, your children would be safe.  There was snobbish sense of relief mixing with a tinge of pride at how much more disciplined the forces coming for you would be.  Your daughters would be safe now no matter what, their fathers would not allow them to be taken.

Suddenly there came the sounds of blaster fire, ricocheting off the walls, a signal that battle had commenced.  All of it drowned out by the blood rushing past your ears as you strained a second time.  This time in perfect union with your soon to be first born, bringing with it a burning sensation. Almost ripping up your vagina, that brought with it a fresh wave of fluids and an overwhelming scent of iron.  You didn’t need to look down to know you were bleeding, thought on instinct you dipped your fingertips in it.  Feeling sick at the sheer amount of it, that slowly trickled down your thighs.  You needed it hurry, and they needed to get here fast.  Not that you thought they could do much to save you.  The need to make sure your daughters at least survived this was as instinctive as knowing you had to breathe, that irrespective of the cost now to your body; you had to push.  

Outside had descended into chaotic screams mixed with the blaster fire.  Men dying and yelling in bravado.  All of it irrelevant now, all noises that you didn’t have time for.  Not you realised with a shudder that wracked your entire body; with your daughter so close to being born and her sister not yet here.  Time was of the essence.   

The forces Hux would be against were not all well trained, though still as formidable in a fight.  What they had lacked in discipline they made up for in bravery.  The firefight was growing closer, and although it seemed like forever; your battle knowledge reasoned with you that it was not the case and you did not have forever.  Simply minutes.

Another straining and you almost missed the order from Brendol for the man to ready his escape route.  Shouldering his blaster, readying it as he stepped around the corner to go.  His decapitated body flung back into the room, almost instantaneously.  It was an act that months, even weeks ago would have terrified you.  Instead it made you sigh in relief, your body suddenly numb with relief that it was almost safe to let go. 

Ren stood there in the door, his robed body dwarfing all others in the room with you.  Lightsabre drawn and activated, blood stained and magnificent as always in battle.  Behind him the glancing shots of blaster fire shooting back and forth in the corridor outside.  His eyes swept the room as his hand outstretched, a wave of the force pulling Brendol forwards into his waiting claw.  Behind him a plainly dressed Emperor stood, his frame smaller but made all the more imposing by his First Order tunic.  His chest rose and fell, straining against the material.  His face set to honest and open anger, hair a glorious mess of fire, and a blaster raised in hand ready.  His eyes were lit with a fire that matched his mate, but unlike Ren’s did not settle as they glanced at you.  His gaze burning into you, searing your guilty soul.  He was mad then, though you couldn’t care less right now, pitifully calling his name as another shudder demanded your attention.  You were just happy to see him, to know that even if you didn’t survive this day your daughters would.  He stepped around Ren, two shots from his side arm, floored Astrid as he made his way to you.

By now your vision swam, but as finally hands stroked you back you knew he had dropped to his knees beside you.

“I’m sorry Hux.”

You knew he had another name, not only that but a title you should have used.  But you no longer cared to summon the energy to waste on forming the words.  Stupidly though your body seemed determined to waste its own paltry reserves by crying.  The caress of his hands a luxury after all this time frightened an alone.  He shushed you, following the curve of your back in soothing strokes, all of it as pointless as your garbled apologies for running. 

“Kitten, not now conserve your strength.  Ren is fetching a medic.  You’ll be fine, just breathe and stay with me okay?”

You shook your head.  Didn’t he get it, you were bleeding.  Not just a small amount of blood, but enough that without the motherly needs to protect; your body wouldn’t have lasted this long without.  A medic would do no good, you were dying, and they needed to be taken out of you now.  Before he tried saving you, before anything your daughters had to be protected.  Taking a deep breath, you summoned the last of your strength fighting to make your words heard over the commotion outside.

“Pointless.”

The one word had him rushing to protest your words, but you shook your head.  Your body cold now with stale sweat, no doubt paler than the face that looked down at you with such concern.  Your next words took far more from you than you realised.  Every other word punctuated with a shallow breath.  The act of speaking making you more breathless than the contractions still coursing your abdomen.

“No, they come first.  They must always come first. You must promise me this, that you’ll love them.  That you’ll allow yourself to love them.” 

He frowned, cupping your face to press a kiss to your brow.  He swallowed hard, and then again before he spoke.  His voice scratchy and raw. Whispering as a splattering of his own tears joined yours. 

“I already do pet, I love you all so much."

You were exhausted and the sincerity in his voice was the last comfort you needed.  You tried to hold on, but it was all becoming too much.  Even your eyelids were closing, your visions spinning in pure black.  He shook you, not bothering to take care if he was too rough.  Your eyes fluttering half open one last time, before they descended closed again. Unable to listen to his sharp demands that you listen to him, that you obeyed him.  Even your fear of him no longer a motivator now, as your body began to slowly shut down.  Oblivion, beginning its slow claim on you.  It was your hearing that was the last to lose consciousness.  His loud snarled demands the last thing you took with you into the blessed numbness as your lost all senses.

“You are not permitted to die.  I will not allow it Pet, not then and absolutely not now!”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late update. I also have another chapter of Enthroned almost ready to go and some other bits and pieces. I have not had time to proof read some of this chapter. But after a mess up with my computer, I was just so relieved to have rewritten it that I want it safely on the net.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies that I have not had time to respond to messages. I am laid up with a chest infection, and I promise to get too them in the next day or two. Though I do feel like it it terribly rude of me when people have taken the time to write, so I am sorry. There are questions I need to answer from some of you though most I cannot answer yet. To people who worry if I will finish, I always begin a story with an ending, so even if it takes me a while to get there; knowing how a story must end means it must end.

You were aware of a slow, recurring beep in your sleep long before it had occurred to you that you were beginning to wake up.  Your system sluggish and groggy to wake, head pounding to a steady beat, that echoed behind your closed eyelids. 

The noise was high pitched and as you became more aware of yourself, seemed as regular in tempo as the pulsing in the vein in your neck and temples.  You moved your wrist, your groan a mere whisper of air as you lifted one arm, hands messily rubbing at your face.  Your muscles all felt stiff and almost painfully unresponsive to your order to move, to wake.  With a struggle to wake fully; the electronic noise increased in tempo.  You were most certainly alive you realised; unsure as to why that was a relief as you realised they had attached you to some sort of ECG or at the very least machine to monitor your vitals.  This was bad.  For everything they had put you through, they had yet to require you being so well monitored. 

Desperately your brain tried to supply you with details.  Any small suggestion to what had happened, but like everything else it seemed reluctant to obey.  Your coherent thoughts; stuck behind a wall of mental fog.  Was that what was holding you back from waking up?  You knew that everything hurt, you should have been in pure agony, but everything felt so very far away that it was difficult to pay it any heed.  No not that exactly, better to say that you were aware of pain.   But you couldn’t quite feel it enough to make it tangible to you.  Almost as though your mind floated above your body whilst it bathed in a sea of agony.  One your reasoning told you that instead of sailing on, you should have been drowning in.    

Blinking you tried again to control your body.  Trying to push open your eyelids, to at the very least wake up, and to take stock at your surroundings.  Your eyes like everything else; seemed heavier than they should have been; too sluggish to move.  Loosely glued shut with an abundance of sleep.  You struggled past that.  Instinctively aware that you needed to wake, that something demanded your attentions.  Blinking away the blur that counted as your vision, to try and make sense of your surroundings.  Your mouth pursing as your brows pulled into a frown you looked for clues as to what you were here.  It all felt artificial and wrong. Almost as though you could feel your brain floating. Your head swimming with memories that you couldn’t quite piece together, or fully recall. 

It was an odd sensation and totally terrifying despite the artificial foggy haze to your thoughts. To realise something was not right, but not be able to recall exactly what was wrong, was almost as worrying as your inability to properly wake. 

You could remember a rescue, but not why or what had necessitated it.  Nor could you work out what had happened afterwards, how you had made it to here.  You knew you had been in a bad place, and could remember some of a rescue.  But had they been successful, or was it perhaps all another dream.  Had they managed to get you off whichever gods-forsaken planet you had been taken to, and if so what would be the punishment for this indiscretion. 

Bit and pieces were slowly forming themselves into memories.  You remembered Hux’s touch at your back and then with a lurch that you had been pregnant.  The birth! Your mind screamed; making you jolt into almost full wakefulness.  No not that the memories of your labour were slowly coming back to you.  His calmness despite your terror.  His promise that a medic was coming, that despite the pain and the blood that it would all be okay; he would make it okay.  Somehow you had instinctively known for the first time to trust him to lead you through it.  Or maybe it was that fear had made you cling to his confident promises.  Either way that was when your body had decided it was safe to give out on you.  The darkness spinning into black and the world so far away as he yelled at Ren.  You could remember all of that; but not giving birth.  There were no memories, nothing to suggest that it had happened.  Nothing in this room to indicate that you had given birth to your daughters. Confused you looked around you.  The room was dark, but not the all-encompassing dark of the cave.  The lights clearly set low to encourage rest, and not this time with the intent to leave you in total darkness.  It was cut through with illuminated medical screens and glowing buttons.  The dials and readings constantly changing as it read your vitals.  Even the low light hurting your slowly focusing eyes when they stared at the screens too long.  There was plenty enough light to illuminate the hospital gurney you lay on, but not the further recesses of the room.  Absolutely nothing to suggest that your children had survived. Simply an empty feeling in your stomach that gave way to a realisation that they weren’t there anymore. 

You looked around you.  Frowning in confusion as much as silent questions whilst you took in the various wires and tubes attaching you to the bedside drip stands. Monitoring systems, you realised and wondered why they couldn’t just use your chip.  Surgery perhaps, maybe it made it invalid, or they needed clearer readings.  It was so hard to tell, clearly drugged up as you were. Impossible to place your fears in order, not with them missing. 

It was eerily quiet.  Not even footsteps outside, just the whirrs and bleeps of machinery cutting through the silence.  And something else you realised, a man breathing.  No not breathing, he was gently snoring; barely enough to be heard but enough to realise he was certainly asleep.  You looked around the room.  Your eyes straining until they blurrily took in the man fast asleep in the chair in the corner.  Ren, you realised with boundless relief.  He was hardly a sight you hadn’t seen before, but right now your heart soared at being permitted the sight once more.  The man’s stamina allowed him to go days without sleep. If you were here (wherever here was) and he was sleeping; then not only you were safe, but were they.  You had sensed him around his unborn children often enough to realise how protective he was in his own way of them.  You doubted that he would have chosen to sleep; let alone Hux permitted him such rest, if there was even the hint of danger to them.     

You breathed a deep sigh, before excitement took your short relief and made your heart beat faster again. If Ren was nearby surely this meant your children were close too, or at the very least in the building.  You looked around you and not seeing them, tried swinging your legs free from the blankets tucked around you.  Determined to find them, arms desperate to feel the weight of them. But you couldn’t move; everything from the waist down seemed unresponsive.  .

Assuming your nerves were just numb with disuse, you pushed down with your legs to shift position.  But they still wouldn’t work, and worse still you couldn’t actually feel anything sense of your muscles trying to attempt the movement.  You tried to see if at the very least you could wiggle your toes, but discovered they too seemed numb to touch.  Making you realise you could not even sense the blanket laid over them It was hard to swallow back the panic at that. 

Horror and your drugged over active imagination assumed the worst.  This was your punishment for running, for putting his children in danger.  What was worse was horrendous as it was; you deserved it, you had put more than you in danger with your stupid antics.  It didn’t stop the need to vomit as you tried uselessly to pull yourself up, to spit the bile from your mouth.

Ren’s rumbling voice cut through your panic, and a sick bowl was placed under your chin.  His hand stroking your face until you had finished each of the dry heaves; spitting into the container.  You shuddered from the effort and stared horrified at him; unable to summon the bravery to challenge their action.  You were paralyzed under his touch.  The drugs making you physically more compliant than you wanted to be.  Ignoring the soothing noises he made at you as you recovered from the initial shock and tried twisting under his grasp.  Trying when he failed to let you loose from his grip, you tried to pull back the covers.  Clawing at the covers to check your legs were still there.

Your thighs were there, but that wasn’t enough.  You had broken skin scratching at your legs when in the end, he pulled back the blankets to show you. Fully intact legs, you realised; tears falling as your body let go the fear that they had mutilated you. 

Ren spoke with amusement in his voice, tenderly scoffing at your fears as though their threats of bodily harm had never been levelled against you.  You hated him a little then it was not as though he wasn’t privy to your fears, that he had to be aware how scared you were.  Surely for him to move the covers he had seen your drug addled thoughts.  Had understood how real your thoughts had been that Hux had taken your legs in payment for your crimes.  It was a completely plausible thought your protested at him, that if they left you unable to walk, it would also leave you unable to pull the same stunt again. 

“Pet no one will harm you again; do you not realise your position by now?”

You looked shocked at his word as much as the tone. Ren tried not to laugh at how confused you looked, though you could see the amusement there dancing in his eyes.  He shook his head at you.  The mass of sleep matted curls swaying as he decried your assumptions with the simplest of reasonings; that Hux was much too fond of your legs of all of your body to take any part of it from you.  

You heaved again, the bowl needlessly replaced in ready for your empty stomach.  Ren washing your mouth with a wipe once you were done, blaming the drugs as much as the stress.  Apologising with grave sincerity that he had caused you to feel any worse.  When he had finished you demanded in a horrified whisper to know what had happened.  

Ren pulled a face almost as though he debated telling you, before taking a deep breath and explaining that the delivery had not been a simple one.  His mouth pulled tight before he continued.  You had lost so much blood that it had been hard to decide what was the safest to be done. One child had been more difficult than the other, to deliver and an epidural to your spine had been the safest course of action.  It had numbed your legs as part of the surgery needed to get them out.  Your grogginess would fade as you got used to the anaesthetics they needed to make you comfortable.

“You nearly died Pet. You would think that for someone who had almost the entire First Order Armada looking for her, she could be a little humbler in her rescue.”

You snarled defensively that you knew that.  You didn’t need him to draw attention to what you had yourself lived through.  Your body would forever wear the scars of what you had been through.  He pulled back as though you had slapped him.  Something you may have tried in the early days, but not now.  He dismissed your burbled explanations and apologies as unnecessary.  His face showing more hurt than your own affront when he realised you were being serious in your thoughts that he was going to hurt you. 

It was a tonic to your temper, making you ashamed at how ungrateful you sounded.  He too could have died when he strode into battle for you, he had taken that chance though.  Weakly you tried to pull up into a sitting position, trying to be in a position to better look at him.  Determined as much as possible to deal with him on equal footing before you demanded your daughters.  You were too engrossed in your difficult task to realise Ren was trying to help you to move.  Propping pillows behind you.   Assuring you before you spoke that Hux was fetching them to you. 

Your heart flipped at that, and it made you aware of his attempts.  Ashamed that you had not asked to see them sooner, you stilled trying to move.  Ren rubbed your shoulder, kissing your forehead, gently ordering you to wrap your arms around his neck.  You did so, and easily he managed to scoop you up.  One arm under your thighs another at your spine.  His foot fiddling with the control to raise the bed head and seat you up ready to receive your children.  You moved from his touch, grunting in shock at how much energy every action cost you.

“You’ve been out a good few days Pet.” 

You looked closely at him for more hints to what had happened to make it that complicated; you really had fucked up this time.  Now you were even more scared of what to expect, when the doors finally swung open; admitting what was probably going to be a furious Hux.  Swallowing as heart thumping you tried to ask the question your stomach dreaded.  The words came out as a single noise, your vocal chords rusty with fear and unwilling to work for you.  Your throat tight with fear and emotion as you concentrated on a single mole on his neck.  Trying to swallow the ball of cotton in your throat, unable to find the willpower and strength to speak.

You hadn’t realised that you visibly trembled until Ren touched your cheek.  Drawing your attentions back to him, and stroking your face in small calming circles with the backs of his hands.

“Hux is more cross at himself than you little-Pet.”

You blinked, aware as you looked back into his chocolate orbs that he was being genuine. The next swallow came so more easily, though it fetched with it so much guilt and tears.  Had you of died before they were born, they would have almost certainly died with you.  He lied, he had to; this whole thing was your fault.  None of this could have happened of you hadn’t of presented Astrid with a chance to abduct you.  In answer to your tears; Ren clucked.  His finger moving to your chin, his index finger lifting your chin to look up at him, as his thumb stroked your chin.  His mouth had pulled into a lopsided smile.  One that made his eyes look so full of sorrow, all meant as encouragement rather than amusement at your state.  Gently he reassured you that none of this was your fault, dabbing under your eyes to wipe away your tears.

“No, the fault was entirely mine this time Pet.”

The clipped tones made you jump in Ren’s arms, and stilling your breath you peered past him to the figure stood in the open doorway. Although the knight had sensed his lover’s arrival, he had not seen fit to warn you he was here.  Nothing to allow you time to prepare yourself to meet your daughters.

The Emperor stood stiffly, paused as though waiting for your permission to enter.  He was unsure you realised, his nervousness making your heart lurch heavily, before it swelled in the confines of your chest.  Growing until you thought it would bust, your body forgetting to even breathe at what you knew now he clutched to his chest.  Never had you seen the Emperor’s face look so sleep deprived; so harried as he did now.  His complexion waxy and unnaturally pale.  Worse still than the day Arabella sussed him out. 

Despite all of this his hair was still perfectly combed into place, his clothing just so.  The only thing to suggest he may have hurried here; his choice in garments.  His lounge clothes were something you would have until now sworn he would never wear outside of his private chambers and then still rarely.  Yet here he stood in them.  Clutching a heavily swathed bundle whilst another was tucked into a brightly coloured sling, strapped to his chest.  You badly wanted to demand he hurry to hand them to you now and almost you did, forgetting speech itself to reach forwards in a soundless ‘please’.  He didn’t move fast enough, his jaw clenched and chin high in such a way that had you doubting his protests that he was to blame.  He didn’t move, and he had kept them long enough now.  But still you didn’t trust his movements, even to ask for them politely.  You knew better than to display such vulgarities as to outright demand them.  No matter how much you needed to have them; you would wait before you displeased him.  Eyes pleading as your tongue became glued to the roof of your mouth; speech itself forgotten.

It seemed an eternity before he moved.  First blinking, then a shake of his head.   You watched the deep rise of his chest then finally he lifted one foot.  It seemed an eternity before the other echoed the path of its twin.  His steps too agonisingly slow as he moved closer.  Your heart thumping so loud you could hear each loud thump in your ears. 

Your breath kept in time with his steps, your eyes trained on his every move on what he clutched in his arms.  You didn’t think it was a deliberate act to keep you waiting, more that he walked slowly to keep his gait smooth and his cargo from waking.  It was as he came closer, that you realised he was not cross.  Just that he was unabashedly nervous, and at the same time innately proud as he cooed down at the child he held strapped to his chest.  Fatherhood perhaps would suit him you thought, as he lifted his head to look at you.  His cheeks blushing like a maiden’s at seeing how intently you had stared.

He reached your cot side and without ceremony or preamble simply opened up the cloth wrapping.  Lifting each layer to display the minute wriggling bundle of dark waves and pale flesh that was your daughter.  You bent your head; no longer concerned with the men, safe at last to take your eyes from them.  Tiny hands and feet peeked out from the frill-less gender-neutral clothing you knew he had stocked the nursery with.  Her lips pursing as she suckled at something in her waking dreams, shuffling as though desperate for the comfort.  For a moment you grew fearful that she had been deprived of comfort, but that was short lived when both men scrambled to be the first to shush at the noises she made before settling back to sleep.  Tentatively you reached out a hand, fingers brushing the soft skin of one rosy cheek.  Her mouth to your delight naturally seeking the source of the touch.  She was used to comfort if she so openly sought it, from anyone.  Grinning when she suckled the knuckle you presented to her mouth.     Hux was in the process of trying to hand you your daughter.  Drugged up and uncoordinated as you were; that he would so easily hand her over to you was a scary thought.  You found yourself pulling back suddenly afraid, worried that you could inadvertently harm her.

This was too such a precious tiny thing to hand over to you, to trust you with after all you had done.  You had no wish to harm them, Hux was being foolish couldn’t he see you were in no fit state.  He ignored your protests, and you noticed for the first time how sluggish you really seemed. The adrenaline making you not realise sooner that you were slurring your words.  When Hux didn’t listen, you moved your protests to Ren.  Only to find instead he moved to help Hux.  Pulling down your medical gown to allow him to place the barely dressed baby onto your now naked chest.  Pulling aside the wires strapped to your breasts to make her comfortable. Humming as he moved her to a better position.  It was a song you realised; catching pieces of the tune and wondering how often he sang it to her.  It was not one you had heard before and you were not sure who found the lullaby more soothing, you or the child as she settled against your chest.  The warmth of her floppy body, more convincing than any protests from the men that you would be fine.

Ren hovered next to you like a mother hen, and you realised he too looked for the first time afraid as he danced attendance on his small family.  Both of them unsure and completely out of control here.  Rearing children would be something neither had practiced, impossible to have a trial run when each would be so unique in their demands.  Almost you could smirk at this, that for all of Hux’s research and holobooks, nothing had really prepared him for the reality of fatherhood.  Nor you realised looking at the dark colouring under each eyes, the exhaustion of it. 

“I am told new-borns need to have skin to skin contact with their mothers.”

You nodded in understanding of more than just his words, realising that you had allowed the removal of clothing without blinking. Realising by his awkwardness he had realised he had been invasive, by undressing you.  You looked up at the man who spoke.  Realising that despite his stiffness this was the first time he had ever bothered to excuse his actions around you.  Explaining what he was doing was new to both of you, and not something that came easy to him; but in his own way he was trying.  Perhaps it was just something he had never had to do with Ren, or perhaps it was that he had never bothered to do so with you before?  Even though he had acted in what he intended to be his both yours and his daughter’s best interests, he was unsure if he had done wrong in baring your body to him.  Again he was waiting, though for the life of you; you couldn’t work out what as you stared back.  The paleness of his skin showing the flustered colouring as he realised his possible misstep.  Making the black bags under his eyes look all the more horrendous in contrast. 

He looked haggard.  Her really had not been sleeping then; these two had required his attentions at all hours.  For some reason before now, you hadn’t imagined him being willing to be this hands on.  Assuming he would rather employ a host of nanny-droids and servants to aid him.  That like others of his breeding he would refuse to mucky his hands in their care. 

But as he moved to hand you your other daughter the idea of the Emperor of the known galaxy waking to change a mucky diaper seemed less ridiculous to you.  Hux lifting the already semi naked form from a pouch of no doubt expensive cloth tied to his torso.  The sight of her making your heart hiccup as you realised what it meant. The in an instant; to more protests that you would drop her, that you could not manage both; she was joined by her sister. 

Hux stood stiffly by, watching the babies.  Uncomfortable as unsurely evident in his refusal to look at you, as to touch you.  You knew that for all his supposed formality and rushed actions, he was acting from a place of thoughtfulness.  The he was trying and not entirely to be in control, of your first meeting with his daughters.  He was simply trying to instigate an action that had he of asked he would have known you would have wanted.  Had this been a normal first meeting of mother and daughter at birth; you would have wanted this.  To hold them close and never let go; to feel their skin against yours.  For that you were grateful enough to push back the anger at his assumptions.  For now; it only mattered that you had been permitted to just hold and gaze lovingly upon that which you had longed to meet for so long. 

Slowly you raised your hands to stroke at them.  Sensibly realising that with a force-adept watching over them, there was no way they would be permitted to fall and come to any harm.  Here they were safe, and you hoped that with the removal of his father; the last threat to them had gone too.  A taste of salt and you realised you had been crying, though for the first time in forever with happiness.  They were here, and that had to mean you were safe. The whispered question was phrased to Ren, more so than Hux; he of all people should have been the one to work this out. 

“Did you know, one was his?”

Your voice was full of total awe for the strange gift your captor had inadvertently presented you with. Your eyes cloudy with emotion and a sense of bewilderment.  Somehow it was so hard to take responsibility for the fragile lives you held clutched to your chest.  To accept his promises that that you truly were their mother.  He shut his eyes, shaking his head ins answer.  He who had been the one to time and time again show you your children; even he hadn’t realised their true parentage.  He must have expected, that for them not to share the same bag on amniotic fluids they had to be unidentical.  But now he reached to touch each of them, leaning over you in a way that was intimate but not cloistering.  His teeth bared in a rare grin.  Pleased that you were so besotted as much as your realisation that parentage the parentage of his daughters had truly been a mystery.  All of it a pleasant surprise to all of you, and something which had placed you on equal footing with your masters.  When your eyes flicked up to Hux, you were amazed; his gaze briefly breaking from his daughters to kiss your head.  His eyes grave with silver, as he congratulated you.  Reaching to kiss both daughters before looking at you.       

“They have their mother’s eyes.  You will see when they awake kitten.”

Those same eyes widened at his comment; amazed that he looked for you in them, a single tear rolling down one cheek at the realisation that he truly wanted his children to be yours too.  His daughters, you repeated in your mind; your jaw slackening at his gaze; turning from him.  Your tongue tapped repeatedly at the backs of your front teeth as you looked on at your children.  Their individual sires as plainly obvious as their different hair colouring.  Yet Hux sought to find common ground between the siblings. 

When he spoke again it was to assure you they were beautiful.  It was as much praise for you as them, so hard to separate them from you.  Ren remained silent, though his voice was strongly possessive when he repeated that they were both his children.  Realising that when he spoke of you both, he meant yourself and Hux; that they were to belong to all three of you.  They were to have three parents.  

Any further words were cut short by a snuffling.  One child stirred in her sleep; Hux as attentive as each other time.  Waiting ready should she need his assistance.  It was that she could smell milk Ren explained, making you realise he spoke to calm his lover when she had not woken.  Explaining her actions more to soothe the Emperor’s anxiety than to tell you what you already knew.  Hux stood silent; ready.  Though you could feel the weight of his gaze, as much focused on you as it was his daughters.  Ren taking care to balance both still sleeping babies, whilst oddly able to still anticipate your anxiety.  With all of his force-powers you doubted that for one second they were at risk, but you valued the intent behind the gesture that spoke so strongly of protection. 

You gazed down at them, afraid to move lest they topple. Yet finding your hands moved anyway to cup both tiny heads full of hair.  One covered in loose dark waves. The other’s scalp a mess of tight ginger curls, her thumb pulled back into the rosebud of her mouth at your touch.  Such a small thing to self soothe, done to comfort herself in her sleep; but it brought you comfort to know you had not woken her.  The other daughter though chose to wake to the brush of your fingertips down her spine.  Her dark lashes fluttering open, to look up at you.  Her brown eyes as you already knew them to be; flecked through with gold like her father’s. 

You whispered your greeting; aware you were totally and utterly in love.  Unaware until this moment that anything could have made you feel so protective, so enamoured.  In an instant you understood how far you would go.  Realising that; yes you truly would have died in that cave, if it had been the only way to bring them to safety.    

She couldn’t focus yet not on you, not yet.  This first meeting for her would all go by scent and sound.  For a while you reminded yourself, as on a weakened neck her head routed against the taught flesh of your breasts.  The actions caused your nipples to leak, her sister now stirring to wakefulness at the scent of milk.  Her eyes exactly as Hux had said; a mirror of her sister’s in shape. Huge and no doubt blurry; but only the colour inherited from the Emperor and not you.  It was strange to see what he saw, to see both Ren and himself in the copies of your own orbs.  How much more of you would be in them you wondered.  Emotional as you tried to see yourself in the tiny lives you had created, unable to spot any more familiarities to you. 

“You can’t feed them yet, I am sorry I took that from you too.”         

You blinked at Hux’s most humble apology to date, unaware that feeding them had been your next action until your dark-haired daughter had begun to wail.  A high-pitched cry that seemed to make you more emotional than you had already been, and if possible more irrational. You hissed as your breasts tightened, your nipples becoming painful as they embarrassingly leaked milk.  The fluid running down to dampen your nightdress.  On autopilot Hux scooped his lover’s daughter from you, a droid appearing ready with bottles, just in time for her sister to angrily demand food too with her own hear wrenching wail. 

You could hear the hunger in their screams and it should have warmed you to see the two men so willing to see to their daughter’s needs.  Instead it cut you though like a knife.  Making you snivel at how useless you were, rubbing at your forehead.  This whole incident had led to you needing a C-section to deliver safely, and with that had obviously come the need for drugs.  Meaning that not only had you been out for days, but you were pretty much useless to them.  You still couldn’t be trusted to hold them independently, or to look after them.  You were tied to this bed and drugged up as you were even your milk would be poisonous to them.  Without them drinking it, it was only a matter of time before it ran out.  All of this prevented you from being even the tiniest bit useful to them, you’d been out of it days. 

They clearly hadn’t missed you, they were too young to have noticed you gone.  You realised with a painful lurch you had missed them so much.  The men in their lives had already judging from the girls responsiveness to them; had formed strong bonds with their daughters.  It made their fathers more experienced their time with them; made them able to pre-emptive their needs.  They found all of this easy and given that were you even needed anymore.  Seriously what could you do that they could not.  Why should they want you.  

“Pet.”

Ren looked over at you.  The impossibly tiny redhead you had somehow produced, cradled impossibly small in the crook of his arm as one had held the bottle.  How was it you thought, that she was able to one day grow so large? That if nature decreed she could be at least as tall as Hux.  Ren looked torn, fliting his attention between you both.  The baby requiring her food more than you did comfort.  Hunger almost hurt their infant stomachs, she would need it before you needed something as insignificant as comfort.  He leaned over.  His gigantic frame, meaning he was barely lower than you as he knelt to show you what he did.

“It’s your milk.  Filtered first to remove the narcotics. But we thought you would have wanted this.”   

He spoke with uncertainty but you were not convinced.  To be that precise of your fear, he had been inside your mind.  You shook your head at the hackles that rose to challenge his rudeness.  Now was not the time to get cross with him for that.  He had named your fear, in the declaration of what he fed her; meeting it head on with another simple explanation.  You would be petty to challenge him, for this for caring. 

The daughter he cradled had nearly emptied the bottle, and judging from her toying was about done.  With a simple ‘here’ as your only warning; Ren handed her back to you. Expertly laying her over your shoulder, so you could help out and wind her.  You realised that he was trying to include you. To convince you that you were needed, you realised with a simple look at the wealth of emotion in his dark eyes.  But it was hard not to think with the range of tasks currently open to you; his efforts mediocre, and all borne of guilt to you.  He was able to sense what the children needed.  To act before they did and Hux just seemed to instinctively know what to do.  It was difficult for them to take a step back to allow you to be needed.  Too hard to not give in the moment they realised your daughters needed something. 

You moved your hand, running circles over her fragile spine.  Accepting the small task they permitted you.  The other hand cupping her bottom, clinging to her.  She smelt of baby powder, soap and cotton.  A then a sudden burp triggered reflux, adding a scent of undigested milk into the mix, that you were grateful for Ren having anticipated. 

He caught it in his hand, saving your hospital gown from soiling.  Odd to see the great Knight to competent at child care.  He wiped the fluids on a pink patterned towel.  One that Hux had handed to him, shouldering Ren’s daughter to offer assistance.  It felt as though everyone moved to help them, whilst pretending it was for you.  Making you uncomfortable that unnaturally, you were the child here.  You were the one who needed assistance and you hated that.  Not just the further dependence but the isolation of it all.  You truly were not only surplus to requirements, but also just another burden; one that pulled needed attention from your daughters. 

“You have to stop thinking of them like that.”

You frowned, patting at her bottom.  Guiltily aware that Ren had seen it all.  Your petty jealousness’s of their link with the children, and your resentment of their bonds.  You knew the action that he now mirrored with his stepdaughter was not really done to wind them; they had proven no difficulties in burping.  His touch was more than just practicality.  Yes; the action encouraged spinal development, but from the way he gazed down at the rosy cheeks of his infant daughter couldn’t be mistaken.  He was besotted with his lover’s daughter

“They are both of them all of ours; yours, mine and Tidge’s.”   

But his words seemed hollow, and you could not accept them.  Too frightened with the suspicion that they were just trying to keep you on side.  Your heart sank to a led weight as you laid other thoughts over your fear.  Failing at your attempts to keep back the doubts.  Hux had told you that he intended you to mother them, so how come you felt so left behind in it all.  Why was it that they set you up again to fail?  Suddenly as though to answer your suspicion your daughter began a wailing cry again, and in desperation you scooped her off you.  Sobbing as you thrusted her at Ren, choking on your words, as you begged him to take her, could he not see she was better off with them.  Ignoring their protests as you pleaded with everyone to leave you alone.      

 


	39. Chapter 39

It was after they took them away that you cried at what you had done.  Unable to work out what had distressed you so much about them leaving you.  You were safe here weren’t you? Or at least more so than you had been with his father. and for the first time ever they had listened to your requests.  Their faces horrified as they scooped up their precious little bundles.  Hurrying to protect them from the madwoman that was their mother.  How perfect you thought.  Resentful as the door to the medicenter shut; you had played straight into their hands.  Doubtless they were now dancing around their rooms.  Delightedly playing happy families, knowing all they had, the kept without your input to their daughter’s lives. 

Your screams began as your sobbing grew in volume to match your frustration, and finally brought the medical staff in to deal with you.  Odd you thought, as they checked over vitals.  Trying to work out what was wrong, they had stayed away.  Didn’t people normally get checked over after they woke from surgery?  Perhaps even the medical staff didn’t care what happened to you, or had been told it wasn’t necessary.  You had done your duty to the Empire. Hux had his children; his fucking heirs.  What did he care now what happened to you?  The only reason he had saved you; was to manipulate his children.  The medics all tried to at first speak to you.  Asking if you were in pain, what could they do to assist you, what was wrong; why wouldn’t you calm down. 

Take you back eighteen months you thought bitterly.  Or better yet, give you a blaster-pistol so that you could shoot yourself.  You didn’t want to be here, you wanted fresh air and freedom.  You didn’t want to be drugged up and medically restrained to your bed; paralyzed from the waist down.

Doubtless ordered not to until truly necessary; there was finally an addition of a strong tranquilizers to your post-natal care.  The lead physician promising vehemently to take the flack to everyone else.  Refusing to wait for permission, before he added the barbiturates to the concoction of drugs in your system. 

Your stomach flipped and you gagged.  The drug flushed so quickly into your system that your vision swirled and you felt the need to be sick.  It should have come as no surprise to you that they would choose to silence you.  You were after all a nuisance, probably disturbing others who needed their rest.  But you still hated him for it, pursing your lips and spitting at the man before you lost control of your facial muscles. 

You had stupidly expected better of Hux, then to even permit them a chance of drugging you.  Even knowing they served their own selfish agenda in everything, still every new betrayal of you stung like the first.  Shocked and angry that they denied you even an outlet for your emotions, you waited inf frustration for the medicines to take full effect.  Stubbornly fighting off the drug as long as possible, determined not to let them have control. 

Afterwards if you could have called it sleep, then you had sort of slept.  Not really sleep more just numbed vision, tinged with unconsciousness.  Aware of everything that happened around you despite your closed lids.  Your thoughts like swimming through treacle.  Slipping in and out of a dreamless slumber, that left you un refreshed.  Your brain and body, more tired each time you woke. 

A nurse was set to stay with you at all times.  Always slowly stroking your head, or holding your hands.  Their wordless shushing oddly surprising but still soothing.  You had not expected kindness from a military trained nurse, someone who should have been your enemy.  Someone who was supposed to hate you.

After that it seemed you were to be kept drugged.  Although not generally as heavy as before, you disliked it.  The medication left your body feeling uncomfortable, as though you were not really you.  It made the subsequent days still all seemed to meld into one long one.  Just a fractured mess of sleep and people begging you to eat, or to take interest in something.  There were still duties; acts to perform, even from your sick bed.  Humiliated, you stood by as another showed you how to work the breast pump; simply taking over when you failed to grasp what to do.  Nobody had thought to ask you if this was an act you wanted to continue, they just assumed the job. 

The medical staff tried conversing, and seemed eager to listen to you on the rare occasions you choose to speak.  Many time’s they offered to talk about your kidnapping, though you were better trained by now than to share your secrets.  You had seen first-hand what happened to traitors, and have no wish to experience it.  Hux had already threatened you with it that day aboard his ship.  It was better to keep quiet, and to hurt alone than to risk losing your face; your identity.    

Bored you had eventually gave in and engaged in their idle chit-chat to pass the time.  You were aware of your mouth moving, even sound though it was hard to recall exactly what you said.  Often mid-sentence you would forget you were talking, or even what you were trying to say.  A nurse still listening throughout, his face interchanging though the patient nod was there.  Always boring idiotic drivel, because even drugged up you were not stupid enough to say anything personal about your history or of Hux and Ren.  These were still First Order medics and would report back to them.  To disclose any of their treatment of you; good or bad, would have branded you either a liar or worse a traitor.  Yes, had the punishment for that been death; you probably wouldn’t have minded taking a risk.  You would have welcomed it.  But Hux seemed to stick his decisions, and you had his assurances that he was much to possessive to let you go.  It was a matter of principle with him, not what he wanted now. 

There were times when you insisted on trying to get up.  But hands would push you down and cover you back up.  You were drugged to that level of oblivion for only two reasons after your first ‘episode’.  First to allow them to attend to the removal of the needle in your spine, and to stop you from moving about and causing too much damage to the wound.  Another sedative though was administered nightly.  At first you took it to help cope with the pain and then for your inability to sleep.  It made you lethargic the next day, but at least it stopped you from dreaming.  You had forgotten what it meant not to be tired; but at least your nights were your own.  No longer a mess of hormonal nightmares and sex dreams. 

Despite your demands to go that first night Hux still visited.  Ren too and for days one and two after you came around to consciousness, they had tried to entice you into taking your children from them.  Almost you had, stopped by endless guilt and resentment.  You missed your children, but didn’t trust they were safe with you.  What could you do for them that they could not, they were better without you.  You hoped they cared for their emotional needs better than they had yours.  You were annoyed that they hadn’t brought them back to you, it was lies to say that you didn’t miss them.  But pride made you refuse to ask the Emperor for anything.   That should have been your job you realised.  He had planned that you were supposed to be the one left at home.  Literally holding the baby.  He had spent over a year grooming you to be a glorified nanny and fuck toy, only for all his careful sculpting letting him down.  How did he feel about Human error thwarting his cleverly laid plan’s.  Where you pleased that you had in your own way defied the most powerful man in the galaxy; you still in your own way fought the First Order.  The resistance lived on and fought him from within his very palace. 

In your wild imaginings of a future; your children had always been yours.  Rarely shared and never theirs.  Now it was harder not to see the evidence of what they had done to you.  You knew you loved them, but it was in such a way that frightened you.  Stupidly you had not expected to see so much of them staring back at you; nobody had prepared you for how confused you would feel.  You wanted them.  The times you dreamt would often wake to tear stained pillows.  Knowing that in your dreams you held them without prejudice to their sires.  Waking to an aching heart, wishing you could manage to separate them so easily from your past when you were awake.  You had failed them.  You had sworn to love them, to hold them apart from the sins of their fathers and you wanted to.  But you couldn’t there was an odd block.  One that you couldn’t find a way to remove, but that prevented you from doing what was the decent thing to do.  What deep down you knew your heart wanted you to do. 

Hux tried harder than Ren to draw you into talking of your children.  Though they never overwhelmed you, by trying to hand them over. Though for the life of you, you couldn’t think why, unless it was like every doting parent; to boast.  Eventually the hint was received and they stopped talking.  Though sadly not visiting, one or the other turning up daily even though you tried to dissuade them.   One or the other constantly pattering on about home life, of their daughters and eventually your need to rest.  You ignored that suggestion, couldn’t they see you were drugged up to the eyeballs.  You knew you didn’t need rest, the only problem was that you didn’t know what you needed.   They fetched you food, clothing, baubles and trinkets; everything you had no interest in.  They really did think of you as their pet, you though on a night.  Scowling at the mass of gifts they bought, as though things could make it better and ease their guilt.   

You were fed up of it all, and often told Ren where to go.  Outright insulting him when you could; verbally lashing into him.  Smirking when those huge brown eyes would look back at you sad and wounded by your taunts.  His replies so tender that you had to ignore the guilt, you felt later.  It felt good to hurt him, to make him dwell in a slight sliver of what he had done to you.  But you never seemed to do so to Hux.  It was not that you blamed either man less than the other; it was just that you feared one more than the other.  Hux instead you just gave the silent treatment, face neutral.  Ignoring his little sighs and the way his eyes would plead at you to answer.  Refusing to put paid to the voiceless lie you told yourself at night.  You didn’t miss either men, and particularly not him.  Your refusal to talk was just your way of exercising your displeasure at him.  Ren had always allowed you to play up for him, and that’s why you would talk to him.  Sweetly leading him so far before he felt the sting of your anger.  It probably excited him, you though with some level of disgust; when he would set his jaw, and take your insults.  That was probably why he allowed you to bite back in your earlier days.

If either man discussed your tactics, you were never to know.  You hoped they did, but found that to be too narcissistic for your ego to accept.  The men never visited together.  So you doubted they discussed you often enough to discuss such trivial matters and allow Hux to discover you talked to the other man more. 

Either someone had to attend to matters of state, and their bloody Order. Or else you hoped; the babies kept one father at home.  You didn’t wish your children ill like their fathers.  No, in your own way you knew you loved them; but it was better this way.  Better for everyone that you didn’t confuse them any more than they needed to be.  Slowly the daily visits became more Ren, and less Hux.  The tall man was slowly accepting your taunts rather than fight back or try to excuse his actions.  How boring you thought.  Not as interesting when you learnt when the recipient was failing to bite back. 

Instead you brooded on the lack of Hux, your temper in a constant state of flux.  Sometimes you would grow angry enough to shout taunts at Ren meant for Hux; hoping he would tell him. Other times you sat brooding in your own silence, glaring at the knight and at the same time wishing you could get past it.  It hurt that Hux stayed away.  For all you wanted him gone the moment you saw him, there was a part of you more alive at night that wanted to fall against his chest and weep.  It was not to say you did not feel guilt at sending them away; you just knew you couldn’t bare the thought of being physically touched. 

Eventually medical assistance was less prevalent in your care.  You were becoming more settled and needed to be removed from the ward.  In your condition; you needed assistance, but not of the same level you had been receiving.  Someone must have made the crass decision to agree to discharge you into Hux’s care. 

Ren had been the one to come for you, and listen solemnly to the physician’s advice; whilst you had frowned.  Why would either men want you, couldn’t they get on with playing happy familied.  You zoned out, not bothering listening to listen to the conditions of your discharge.  Assuming it was pointless; there would be enough rules in place by Hux later that meant you need not learn them yet. 

You had not been permitted the dignity of walking.  A chair was fetched, and like a good little pet you sat in it.  Allowing Ren to wheel you home to Hux, into the same quarters you had shared with them before.  At the door you had waited to be read the riot act, instead it seemed you had been shown home and set free in the Emperor’s quarters without any new rules.  Ren depositing you into your bedroom.  Offering varying levels of assistance, which you shot down.  Before he must have decided he was safer leaving you alone, he left a single pill in a pot, your nightly sedative you realised.  You watched him go, your face blanc as the door shut behind you.  This was right you told yourself, it was good to be numb.  To feel no remorse; nothing at all for these beasts.  You rose from the chair, stiffly pacing the room.  Holding your flattening stomach as you walked with a bent gait, your abdomen tight from the clips and sutures. 

Your bedroom was still the same one, cupboards and wardrobes full of expensive fabrics and cosmetics.  Everything was as you had left it; your combs still laid out on the side in the refresher.  It was home you supposed; but it felt so alien to you.  Perhaps it was the drugs, but you felt out of place in it.  The bed was first too large for you, and difficult to move in.  The staples and stitches in your stomach were not painful; but it scared you that you would move too far and hurt yourself.  Or worse catch them on something, or rip them open with the effort.  But despite this and their insistences that you ask for help rather than struggle; your determination had not faltered.  You were determined still to ask him for nothing, to be beholden to no man.  Wincing you had first left the safety of the bedroom; searching until you had acquired a stool.  One Hux had used to sit you on at his feet when entertaining.  Carrying it only a few paces before you were discovered. 

Hux had shouted at you for your stupidity, balancing a child across his shoulder as she slept.  You had stared, forgetting everything as your heart lurched at noticing the shock of ginger curls. Her head nestled into his neck, hiding her face from you.  She was already bigger than the week-old, new born Hux had laid across your chest in the medicenter.  She shuffled her head and you knew it was impossible; but it was like she was aware of you.  Giving just a solitary blink as she stared back at you.  Her eyes like her hair matching in colour to the redhead cradling her. 

Hux moved closer, unaware of what was passing between mother and daughter.  Lifting the child higher, who to your surprise still moved to stare back at you, whilst he chastised you; his tone as though you were an insubordinate man-at-arms.  His warning that you ought to have had more sense.  Had you not been warned not to bend or to lift anything.  Did you want to risk infection, or rip your sutures.  His spare hand shot out.  Reaching for the stool, meaning to take it from you but instead making you flinch and gasp as you dropped the stool.  Raising your arms, in a show of surrender as you stiffly stepped back. Creating more distance between you, and him.

“Pet.”

There was gentleness and embarrassment in his voice.  A remembrance perhaps of the fragile state you clung to.  But you couldn’t trust in possibilities and survive.  There had at times before if it had served a purpose when he had been gentle with you. But you could still remember more vividly that temper.  Could recollect the mental scars, what he had done to you.  How he had chosen to hurt you.  You waited and in his arm’s the child started to grow restless.  Her babbling drawing your eyes back from the floor and to her.  She was so close that you could see the bubbles she blew in her own saliva, her perfect little mouth pursing as she drew a thumb up into it.

“Elliana.”

He had noticed you staring then. You were speechless, your eyes flew wide and your hear sped up whilst your mouth just gaped.  Your daughter had a name.  She had an identity; and with it would come a personality.  Hux had noticed you still staring, and was slowly trying to move closer to you.  Stupidly trying not to alert you to what he was about.  You were not thick though, your time with him had made you hypersensitive to his intentions.  The stealth of the act made you nervous, almost trapped by the possibility that he would make you take her. 

Everything they did to you made you feel trapped.  You resented more duty being heaped in you.  Already you permitted them the humiliating task of being milked twice daily.  Of your body being used again as a tool to raise **_his_** children.  Hooked up to some machine; like some blasted ‘nerf-heifer’.  Was it please not enough that you let them do that to you.  That you did what you could to ensure they were not deprived of the best possible diet, of the best start in life. 

The girls; they didn’t need any more from you than what you gave them.  Look at her, you thought taking a step back, keeping your head raised ready; she had all the attention she needed.  She didn’t miss you, more likely she had already forgotten who you were.  Or worse, she had never been aware enough to notice she had a mother.  All of this was cruel; to both of you.

“We waited, but they needed names.  Ren tells me you would have approved of this one.”

You liked it, though hated having to accept that he had been so reasonable as to try to pick something you would like.  It was a pretty name, feminine but strong.  Perhaps if she had been yours; if you had allowed yourself to dream up a future and names for them you would have chosen it.  But their destinies were set in stone, a path their fathers had chosen for them.  This one for the throne, and her sister no doubt for the force. 

Hux had grown closer, edging forwards and lowering the child.  You knew what he wanted, what he was trying to achieve here and you hated it.  Hated him for it, hated the guilt that it inspired in you.  Goring at your conscious like a rabid dog.  He would use that onus of duty, to try and make you take your children.  To make you responsible for them, leaving him free of duty to them.  The ball of your foot had ground into the floor.  Pirouetting you before you had realised you were ready to run.  Your pace slow and crouched but no less desperate in your need to gain some space.       

“Pet come back!  No one is going to hurt you; I just want her to see you!”

You were back in your room before you gave any credence to his false promises.  Awkwardly curling up around your now throbbing abdomen.  Reaching for the pot and taking out the pill.  Swallowing it dry before throwing the pot across the room.  Once more wailing until your head ached and your eyes were raw and scratchy. 

He lied!  What was worse was he seemed to actually believe in his own spouting.  He never really tried to keep you safe to begin with.  You doubted his father and that _woman_ were even dead; in fact you would put money on the coward being unable to do the deed.  You’d seen the bolts fly, but not where they hit.  No more likely that he was still out there waiting until he could raise hell again with another attempt.  He couldn’t protect you, even when he didn’t hurt you there were too many risks.  You would always be Resistance scum, it was impossible to ever think you would be excepted.  Or that they would with known ties to you.  He was wise to have decided to cast you off.  Better this than the public discover his daughter’s terrorist whore of a mother.  When he tried leaving you in a safe place; you had moved to put yourself in harm’s way.  What the hell did he think he was doing trying to hand them over to you, trusting you anywhere near them.  Could he not see that you were an unfit mother?  How had he not worked out that you had been the one to ultimately put them at risk.  That Astrid could not have taken them without your selfish little paddy leading you to wander so far from the house.  Surely, he had sussed that when you had realised that he didn’t want you; you had led your babies directly into danger. 

At some point you must have cried yourself to sleep.  Now you woke in the dark; with a jolt, a shattering sound.  Your chest rising and falling in panic to the beat of your rapidly pulsing heart.  The main light to the room came on suddenly.  Illuminating the two bodies that burst through the open door.  You gave a blood curdling scream, not realising until your eyes adjusted to the light that it was Hux and Ren. 

“Pet what is it?!”

Pieces of what had been a mirror littered the floor, laid haphazardly next to one wall.  Crackling under foot as Hux came closer, to kneel onto the end of your bed.  He leant forwards, careful to brush any broken shards of glass that littered your covers onto the floor.  He leant forwards, chewing his thumb.  Concern evident as his lover paced the room, searching ever concealed part of it.  You didn’t answer Hux and neither of them had spoken yet to one another.  Giving you time to take stock of this rude interruption.  Ren was dressed as always in black robes, but Hux wore dress uniform; they had rushed back from some party or another.  Either they had left you alone without warning, or worse they had taken the children.  Flaunting them like a trophy, whilst you had clearly been attacked as you slept.  So, which was it you thought lips pursed as you waited for the verdict; had they not left you guards or had the guards simply been in sufficient protection.  Hux did not speak and Ren had finished his circuit of the room.  Turned back to you, he tilted his head leaning forwards before he sprung.  Making you clench your eyes shut ready for the blow.  It didn’t come, just the gentle pressure he gave when he was in your head.  A sensation more weird than painful, but still unpleasant.  Still as invasive as when he chose to make it hurt you.

“Just a dream.” 

Slowly you pried open your eyes to discover that Ren held an open palm to the side of your head.  His head still tilted, to you but his knee bent and leaning on the edge of your bed.  You were already too hot and drenched in sweat; he could have been right.  You could have been having a particularly bad dream, a nightmare.  Everyone dreamed; it was just the drugs meant that you didn’t remember them anymore.  You had gone from vivid hallucinations in your sleep to nothing.  But that didn’t explain the mirror.  How the glass had shattered leaving the frame still intact and fastened to the wall.  It made you shiver and despite the temperature of the room you felt cold.    

“The glass Ren?”

Hux snapped his question at Ren; confirming your suspicion of the mirror.  Instantly your mind flew for every possible risk, that a broken mirror could indicate as you realised what the men were up to.  Hux was back to his old tricks then; Ren mind raping you, so that he could share his findings with him.  Ren ensuring his lover; the Emperor could always be in total control.  Above you, Ren frowned and lent back onto his heel.  Relaxing his fingers, bending them into a claw in mid-air.  His hand twitching before he pulled back to his body.

“Latent force abilities, though your ability is fading and will pass.  You temporarily acquired your child’s midi-chlorians, something which served you well on Ilum.”

Ren’s eyes were so soft as they peered down at you.  His height still imposing, for all he appeared at ease sat between you both.  He had purposefully avoided giving his answer to Hux, making you frown at his explanation.  You fidgeted, tucking your loose hair behind your ears before tapping each finger against your thumbs.  Your hair was wet with sweat, leaving a salty residue behind when you licked your lip; trying to speak.  You needed to know if that was so, why they had rushed back, wanted to ask how that effected the mirror.

“You smashed it in your sleep.  Do you often have nightmare Pet?”

You gasped at the implications of what he said.  You had temporarily been force sensitive, and had you of realised that; more could have been done sooner.  You shook your head, both at your guilt and his question, before scratching at your head.  Your sweat was cooling, against your scalp making it itch.  You felt dirty all over, but other than a quick wash, you were not permitted to bathe.  You were allowed a quick shower, but you couldn’t manage one on your own.    

“Would you like assistance with a shower?”

You curled your hands into fists, digging your nails into your palms to try and steady the worsening trembling.  Annoyed that he had been in your mind.  If he knew then the shame you felt at being this dirty, he knew that your pride meant you would not accept his assistance.  He was invasive enough without forcing you into some helpless woman.  Did he not remember what you were, or had he just always discounted it? 

You once had been a soldier, not their whore.  Even at war your life filled with danger; still hadn’t left you being reduced to sleepless nights and being frightened of everything; jumping at your own shadow.  You didn’t know, you knew nothing any longer.  Did you often dream of that horrible place, of the danger and isolation you had felt in it?  Or had tonight been an isolated incident; you didn’t know.  Certainly, you had never knowingly used the Force before, and never had you thought to brake anything with it. The drugs saw to it that you did not dream; didn’t they? 

You were confused.  You knew that you didn’t wake up rested anymore.  That even with the drugs you woke and often spent periods of the night awake.  Drugged, afraid and unsure; you had laid in your hospital cot.  Counting bleeps to ground yourself, whilst the ticking of the chronometer assured you that you were in civilisation.  Wrapping yourself tight in your bedsheet; trying to make your world smaller. 

All that was normal wasn’t it?  Surely it was normal to be fearful after everything you had been through.  To make silly little rituals to help you cope.  Little bargains with yourself, self-fulfilled lies, promises to keep yourself safe; keep you sane.  Expect the worst, whilst all the while hoping for better.  That was how you had coped wasn’t it?  Be obedient and quiet, stay out of his notice and you wouldn’t get hurt.  All the while discrediting the pain of yesterday to get through that of today.     

Your shivering became less about the cold, and more about your anger.  Raising your head, you clenched your fists. Aware that even if you could have kept the fury from your face, it wouldn’t have done you any good.  Ren was in your head, he could still sense your thoughts.  You were a mess.  Your mind fractured and filled with fear.  You had forgotten to be anything but cautious. Hux sighed, pulling back on himself.  Rubbing his face as though tired, whilst tentatively Ren reached out a gloved hand to you.  Making you simultaneously draw back from him, afraid of what he would do when he touched you.  The two men looked at one another.  Exchanging glances and no doubt thoughts too as you waited for the blow.  You had gotten away with so much since the birth, that surely his patience was wearing thin.  It could only be a matter of time before you pushed too far and someone lost it. 

“Nobody is going to hurt you Kitten. Nobody is permitted to so much as touch you without your permission.”

You snarled; hurt at his stupid little lie.  You didn’t believe him, and if he chose to punish you for that, you couldn’t care.  The both of them were intelligent men.  Each perfectly capable in their own ways of divining Brendol Hux’s plans for you, and yet you had still been kidnapped.  When you had voiced your concern about Astrid; that too had been scoffed at.  He had blind spots; and worst of all he cared not to correct them.  A duty to his family that was hammered into him from birth.  One that had to be adhered to at all costs and above what was right.  He would not protect you from his father, he couldn’t even protect himself from him.  Whether he knew Astrid was his father’s creature or not, he should have listened to you.  And Ren was no better.  If he cared for those children, then why had he allowed Brendol to so much as to look at them.  Unborn or not, the threat could have been as easily to them as to you, he should have disobeyed his lover and killed him. 

“Show her Tidge.”

Ren’s voice was a growl.  A tone most suitable, for the Emperor’s hound.  He had risen to stand.  Chin raised and nostrils flared, jaw clamped hard in vehemence.  His chest rising and falling as though his breath strained him, an echo of your own you realised.  He moved to a closet, clearly aditated as he brought forwards a pair of shoes to; though you realised it was not at you.  He handed you simple ballet pumps that you could just slip into, placing them on the floor at your feet.  He wasn’t done yet though. You blinked, starring puzzled as Ren now held out a shawl to you.  His movements normally so fluid, seemed lurching and curious you took the shawl from. Careful not to touch him as you wrapped it around you.  Ready you waited curious to see where this latest farce was leading you. 

Ren expected you to accompany him somewhere, then did he? Surely you could not be going far, the shoes would only protect you from the glass, but they would be no good for walking any distance. At first you thought the Emperor, would refuse Ren’s demands.  Making you wonder if Ren had commanded him, or asked his permission.  Then with a deep sighing breath, he stood.  Smoothing his tunic, and paling as he looked over at you; meeting your eyes and nodding.  He was uncomfortable, though not nervous.  Perhaps best described as almost resigned, though to what you had hint of.  After another breath or two he stood taller; once more the controlled man you knew him to be.  He nodded once more, this time at Ren, though it was to you he spoke.       

“We need to show you something. Then afterwards if you still do not feel safe; I promise you that with or without my daughters. You may walk out of here and if you so wish; you will never see either of us again.”

               


	40. Chapter 40

Whilst you knew that the palaces of Naboo were enormous.  You had not given thought to how extensive they truly were, not until you were forced to walk them.  Hux and a surprisingly masked Ren leading you from the upper echelons right into the bowels of the palace.  It had never occurred to you to ask to leave their chamber unescorted and even if you had been given free reign this was never a place you would have chosen to revisit.  To find yourself slowly recognising more and more corridors; until you stood at the gateways to hell was terrifying.  Despite all of their treatments of you, you never had expected to have to return to here; the holding cells in the lower levels of the military side of the palace.  Death was still preferable to this ending.  This was somewhere that even now; you would never have chosen; the memory of your choices that day were too agonizing.  

The journey down had been exhausting, and with your slow shuffles seemed to last forever.  Though neither man complained, they just altered their strides to match your own. Neither offering pointless words of encouragement.  The first time either spoke was when Hux had snarled at Ren, blaming him at your first breathless pause.  It was obvious that Hux was not keen, though he was humouring Ren’s demands.

The exhaustion was not his fault, though you were not about to ease anyone’s conscience with that revelation.  Your body had been static too long. For all you weighed less than before you were pregnant; your muscles seemed to have waisted, losing their strength and stamina.  It was unconditioned to any exercise, let alone a lengthy walk.  You had flinched, at their small spat.  Both sets of arguments, full of concern.  One for making you do the journey, the other for not, but both worried how unfit your stay in the medicenter had made you. 

Thankfully nobody offered to coddle you.  There were no offers of invalid chairs, or being carried; though you doubted Ren wouldn’t have offered, if only to speed things up; had you not started walking again.   

Each step through the guarded gates; echoed with long forgotten memories.  Of the comrades you had known, and served with.  All of them likely dead now, or else placed somewhere else to silence them.  Perhaps you were the last of your kind; the last to pine for freedom as you did; not for you but the galaxy.  The Resistance had dreamed of returning to the old ways of the senate, and now those dreams were ashes under Hux’s feet.  In their own ways, each citizen of this Empire was trapped, each denied a vote under this dictatorship. 

They stepped into the entrance where you had been processed, each man dismissive of their surroundings.  Had they ever so much as stepped here before?  Had they watched you all being assessed by their medics and droids.  Interrogated by their officers and torturers, before being sorted into the respected prison cells.  Separated via security risk, held like nerfs at market in their pens.  Waiting to discover if your war crimes had earnt you a mandatory slaughter.  Or worse if you would have to make do with life internment.  Transportation to the revamped work camps on Oovo four; where daily you would choke on the haunted dreams of a crushed future. 

It was heart-breaking to be reminded what you had lost.  How afraid and alone you had felt as fresh from battle they had patched you up, only to tear you apart for intel.  To walk into it with both men at your side, and those memories; was no less intimidating than the first time you had been forced in.  Even without the blaster-stock jabbing into your back to force you forward, their promises that this was just a visit, made it just as soul crushing. 

They had positioned you between them.  The Kylo Ren entering first, you instructed to follow and The Emperor at your back.  His arrival causing the sentries inside the gate way to spring forwards and stand swiftly at attention.  Greeting both their Emperor and Lord Ren with a text book salute; refusing to notice the dirty waif nestled between them.  It was mostly empty now of Resistance members and to that you were grateful.  Appreciative that there would be no one left to know of your disgrace, nobody who would recognise you.  Right now, you were just fresh meat.  Something fun for the officers to play with, and the troopers taunt you.  They were looking forwards to their fun once Hux left you here.

The senior officer had taken command of the unit.  Stepped forwards, and around the processing desk.  Ready and blindly willing to be of use to the Emperor, whilst instructing the stormtroopers behind him to fall back into their designated places.  They obeyed, their blasters shouldered though ready should you cause any problems.  Their poise deceptively relaxed, but alert.  Ready in an instant to be called forwards, should their ‘new prisoner’ cause them any problems. 

They scared you; not just because they were armed and you were not.  But because of what they stood for; control, order, power.  Everyone in this room had power, everyone but you.  Each knew their position in this new order, this finely tuned machine; except for you.  Hux had told countless time that you needed to know your place, but never what it was.  But here, now in this chamber; you were pretty sure that this was your true place; it had always been your place. 

You hadn’t realised you had drawn back, from the troops, trying to hide yourself behind Ren, until he stepped forwards. Subtly angling his right shoulder in front of you.  Your heart thudding, the palpitations caused as much by confusion as fear, as he positioned himself almost like a shield.  Still leaving you space to stare, but standing taller; and relaxing his arms and legs. Slotting himself between you and your self-perceived danger. 

You had not seen a stormtrooper this close, since that day on Zeltros.  When terrified you had ran from Ren straight into Hux; who had then beaten you, when you had stuck out at him.  That was the day he had discovered he had beaten his pregnant whore.  He claimed not to have known; that otherwise you would have been too precious to send to rout out his traitors.  He had shown you his real temper that day, when he lost it; striking you repeatedly until Ren had interceded.  But then had you also seen the beginnings of guilt that day, when after he refused to leave you alone.  Tender as he groomed you, or tried feeding you.  The concern for the body-bag that held his children, leading him to infatuation, a level of need that vanished the moment you were no longer essential.  Why else had be brought you back here, if not only to leave you here one day.  Unless it some tasteless attempt to shock you into behaving how he wanted you again.  Was this where he was going to send you if you didn’t comply; if you couldn’t make yourself be useful to him again?

“At ease officer.”

The Emperor’s muttered command was no less full of authority than a shouted order.  The man responded instantly; dropping his salute, but still as openly attentive of his commander in chief as before as he waited for another order. His eyes flickering between both superiors, before attending to you.  Openly staring at your dirty hair and unusual choice in garb.  No doubt intrigued as to what you had done, what was your crime; and why was it so severe to the Emperor; that he had fetched you here personally.   Unbidden scanner droids pushed forwards, their programming stating they should be always ready to take readings for their records.  Sleek bolt-grey metal towers wheeling to wards you; making you draw back behind Ren. Desperate to hide from them, stumbling further backwards than you intended.  Your tired and unsteady legs leaving your movements uncoordinated; shaky like a new born calf; making you fall unceremoniously onto your bottom. 

It hurt you; though thankfully your lower back and bottom.  Perhaps a few scratches, and a pulling at your stomach that dissipated as you curled into a ball to hide yourself.  Nothing serious, just a need to hide; to be small unnoticeable.  The same instinct making you bite your tongue and remain quiet rather than check for injury.  You were much more concerned with the sounds of the approaching faceless machinery and what that meant; than your own body. 

There was a click and then a flash of red light.  You lost the ability to control yourself and screamed.  Almost losing control of your bladder, as you hid your face in your hands.  A thud of heavy booted steps and you heard the swing of Ren’s the lightsabre; the glared still able to penetrate your closed lids.  You wrapped an arm around your eyes, pressing the back of your other hand into your mouth.  Biting down hard to stifle yourself whilst stupidly trying to hide from what you knew well; was Ren’s active sabre.  A hum, and two heavy thuds sounded, your body jerking at the vibrations of each impact.  All of it over in an instant.  Leaving the scent of singed cloth and burnt metal to permeate the air around you.  There was a paused and then a faint wash of whiskey stained breath.  Hux you realised; recognising the familiar sour scent as it brushed against the backs of your hands.  Pulling your arms down from your face.   

“Pet.  It’s okay, come on open your eyes.”

You were shaking, unable to get a hold on yourself.  Curling up tighter in such a way that couldn’t be good for you.  Despite his assurances that no one would touch you without your permission, he did.  One hand pulling your shawl back around your shoulders, closing it around you until all was woollen half-light and him.  Still shaking, you prised your hands from him.  Rocking yourself as they wrapped around you impulsively needing to comfort yourself.  You couldn’t move to obey; fear locked you out of your body.  He didn’t shout, but he was firm; a polite warning that you were better off following his instructions.  After a while he lent closer into the small world he had made for you inside the woollen shawl.  Pressing his forehead against yours, so even at the barest of whispers; you could still hear him.   

“y/n, I need you.  Come on look at me.”

He cupped your cheek, and allowed you time to pry open your eyes.  A trail of salt leaking; tracking between your skin and his, slipping into the corner of your mouth.  Another breath or two and he reached to his side.  Keeping you both in the improvised tent as he fished under his cloak.  Pulling aside the material to retrieve something from his belt and place it directly into your shaking hands.  Drawing back his head, but not his chest; from where he knelt before you; allowing you to look at what he had gifted you with. 

You held a blaster.  Not a large one; just a simple side arm.  But enough of a weapon to be still classed as a lethal.  He hadn’t relinquished total control yet, though the other hand took hold of your prominent thumb.  Pinching it between thumb and finger, to bring it close to a smooth area on the pistol.  Holding it there as he fiddled with two controls on it, before he relinquished total control of it and stood up. 

“It is set to your genetic code, now you have a weapon too.” 

You twirled from side to side in your hands.  No safety you noticed, just two options to fire.  Full strength bolts or stun.  Choosing the stun setting, you held it ready; accepting the proffered hand to rise to your feet.  If needed stun would be enough. Enough to get away, and from there decide if you needed to kill.  It was enough; but not too much that you would risk Hux hurting you if you used it in appropriately.

“Are you ready?”

You looked at the man who had spoken.  The blaster gripped tightly in one hand, the arm hung loosely at your side, the barrel pointing to the floor.  There was no hint of fear evident on the royal face.  Nothing to suggest that he felt uneasy at having just given his pet a weapon capable of killing him.  Vitriolic you did think briefly about using it.  He probably thought you too well conditioned, or too afraid to shoot him.  Then like a flash, a memory hit you stopping that line of thinking.  Your bitterness crumpling at the way he had looked earlier.  Cradling his daughter, the way her tiny head had looked under his; those eyes if in later years she learnt you had killed her daddy.  You couldn’t do it, you realised; it was pointless thinking how you would manage the two kill shots needed to end them.      

You nodded, ignoring the shock on the unmasked men’s faces as you walked past them.  You knew you looked a state; but did they really think the Emperor would escort prisoners himself?  They walked you to an elevator, the three of you entering.  Hux placing his palm to a reader on the side of the control panel, before pressing a number sequence.  You stood waiting to reach your destination, the blaster still a welcome weight in your hand.  Even if you could not use it, it was still calming to have something that put you in control, on equal footing.

“You feel calmer now?”

Your head swivelled, tilting first at Hux; then at Ren.  Eyes narrowing in suspicion at the knight.  Of course! Ren had been the one to show the Emperor your fear that only you were unarmed, unequal here.  There was no way that could have been a lucky guess, or him being astute; or intuitive enough to guess your fears.       

“Ren informs me that whilst they permit you to loudly project your thoughts, the midi-chlorian level in your blood is still powerful enough to keep him out.”

Yes, and that protection would fade with time too.  Exactly how often had he been attempting to get inside your head.  Why hadn’t you been able to feel it.  What did he hope for if he did?  Probably to be able to slip into it, and control your thoughts.  To force you into becoming exactly what his Emperor wanted you to be; dutiful.  You openly scowled at him.  Your knuckles tightening around the blaster, giving you a false sense of bravado.  Shocked when he raised his hand raised palm up to you, even though you had not yet threatened either one of them with it.

“It is why he had been unable to stop your nightmares, or speed up your recovery.” 

His face showed open worry.  He was concerned, making you realise he spoke quickly to assuage your fear.  To put to bed any ideas that Ren was somehow trying to force his way into your mind.  You relaxed turning to face the door once more.  Following Ren through it when it opened.      

“I for one think giving you the blaster was a stupid idea.”

He spoke with his back to you; the voice modulator something you hadn’t really had to use before.  It was unsettling, the vocoder; cutting any emotion there might have been in his tone; making it hard to tell how much he meant to be insulting.  They were brave words you thought with not some small level of sarcasm; realising that he knew he was never in any danger of you hurting him.  Was it that he already knew you wouldn’t use it again; had your thoughts of that been loud too?  Or was he confident that he could easily stop you, or failing that the blaster bolt.  He stopped suddenly, turning to face you.  He took a step forwards, one you couldn’t counteract with another of your own.  The corridors here were narrower.  You couldn’t back off, not without stepping back into Hux; they both had you trapped.    

“I have already killed for you before; what makes you think I would be reluctant to do it again?”

How many times had he killed for you then?  Novak and Veers you knew were two, the concubine was she a third; and what of Arabella’s assurances the night she had sussed it out.  How many bodies, were heaped at your feet like some macabre gift; some sycophant’s tribute.  So that was his answer then?  To kill for you, like it would in turn protect you, like all of those would somehow make up for not stopping the largest threat of all.  By allowing the one-man who he could stop access to you.

“I like your anger pet.  It is better than your apathy; or worse your fear.  It tells me you’re still alive in there somewhere.”

You gaped at his stupidity at such an absurd notion; of course you were alive.  You were doing just as you had always done around them; surviving.  It was hardly your fault that he had caused this.  What did they expect, you to constantly lie down and take it all.  If they wanted you to behave so well; to pretend to be okay when you were not, then why not send you to conditioning.  Your lip curled into a snarl again.  So lost in your thoughts; that you forgot this was a behaviour they wanted from you. You were playing ball for them you realised, calming your face back to a blanc canvas; reminding them that they had fetched you here to show you something.

Not my cell; you prayed to yourself as they led on.  Wildly assuming that nothing down here could be good for you.  There was nobody left alive whom you could remember, your family were all dead you assumed.  With the exception of a distant cousin or acquaintance; there was nobody left to bargain your good behaviour for.  But why else were you in a prison; if not to be a prisoner?  The wall of black before you had stopped suddenly, and you scrambled to your own halt.  Trying to avoid touching him, as you peered around him.

You had arrived at a small blast door.  The contents, or intended contents very valuable to the Emperor to be placed here.  Two sets of hand prints were needed to unlock it, and then a retina scan before a voice code reading.  There was a hiss.  Air locks being disengaged you realised as Ren handed you a respirator; realising for the first time his reason behind wearing the mask.

“Nitrogen, it--”

Preserved bodies you thought; curiously stepping past him and into the tiny room.  Saddened and full of righteous vitriol.  There was only one body, a woman laid out.  You didn’t have to look to know that it was Astrid; her pale hair gave it away.  No Brendol Hux then. It was hardly surprising that you were unable to find peace when he couldn’t remove the one thing that was causing you sleepless nights.  Where was he then? Back at the family home; waiting until he could make his next play for the babies.  Or worse yet; you knew Brendol had expressed a desire to fuck you.  Was this some last play for you to get a grip, or had be planned this since you got back.  To gift you to his father as a consolation prize and a bribe to keep him from touching his children.

“Y/N!”

He had shouted at you.  Loudly.  Making you drop the blaster both in horror at the jar he held up for you and shock of the sudden noise.  Suddenly you had to get out of this small chamber, to breath unfiltered air.  Pushing past him, you almost didn’t notice the tinkling sound of breaking transparasteel, or the sloshing of liquids as it had spilled out through the metal grids under their feet.  Clawing at the respirator you gulped in thick mouthfuls of air.  As much to breathe as to quell the rising sickness at what the jar had held.  Perhaps Armitage Hux was too much of a coward to kill his father; but that hadn’t stopped him from removing part of his face; everything from the nose up wards.  His skull and eyes had rested in that canopic specimen jar.     

“Where is the rest of him?”         

You had heard the steps long before the touch to your back.  Thankfully nobody making you turn around.  Nobody forcing you to look at them, and register the horror you felt at what this all meant.  There was an extended period of silence.  They were at it again you realised; communicating on a level meant to exclude everyone but themselves.  Spinning around to confront them; you discovered Ren had removed his helmet.  Tucking it under on arm; allowing you to compare their faces.  The guilt so openly displayed in Ren’s eyes as he looked back at you.  The discomfort in Hux’s as he avoided looking at anyone, as he addressed the floor.  His voice holding the same level of discomfort as the day he pleaded with his father to leave you alone.

“I told Ren you were not strong enough for this yet.”

Bullshit you thought.  Ignoring the pull at your heart strings, when you looked closer into his eyes.  He had avoided bringing you here, because he didn’t want to address what he had done to his father.  He felt guilty for doing this to the man, ashamed that he had so severely disabled his sire.  You demanded he show you.  Gritting your teeth, each word spilling from your mouth as though you spat out acid.  Refusing to meet with the desperation in his eyes. 

“Show me the rest of him.”

A slow nod, then a deep sigh and you were lead further along the corridor and into another room.  This one the pristine white of a surgical ward.  Neither the Emperor nor yourself seemed as eager to enter this on; so it was Ren who stepped in first, followed by Hux and then lastly yourself.

“He is meant as a gift; proof of our intent to protect you. We have made him so he cannot, possibly hurt you Pet.”

It was the Emperor who spoke to you.  Waiting for you to sum up the courage to look beyond the boots of the man stood silently in one corner.  Slowly traveling up the servant’s garb and at last to his decraniated face; fighting back the anxious nausea.  Hux had probably been right, you were not ready for this, but so had Ren that you needed to see it; you would never had been ready for this. 

The eyes that had taunted you, as their filthy gaze crawled over you; never would again.  Nor if that programming held true would he ever hurt you; or anyone else again; but it wasn’t enough.  Even though he was now devoid now of all freewill, just a mindless slave to the First Order, another vile tribute laid at your feet; you still wanted him dead.  To be expected to breathe the same air as him, was too much to expect from you.  Completely at a loss; you gaped horrified at Hux and then Ren.  Most men brought flowers, or chocolates as tributes when they had done wrong.  But not these two; you got the decraniated body of his father as an apology.  Trembling you remembered too late the blaster.  There was no way of going back for it now; yet you wanted him gone, lifeless and unable to hurt anyone else.  It was probably ludicrous, but you couldn’t shake the fear that he could overcome his programming.  Or worse, that it was never properly done and he mounted another attack against you.  You stood ready, goading yourself to attack; to kill.  Doubting if you could your manage it with your bare hands; afraid that even so, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it; to be the cause of such bloodshed.  Your shaking was growing worse, and you jaw ached by the time Ren handed over his lightsabre.  Ignoring his earlier advice, that he didn’t trust you with a weapon to allow you to activate it.  The weapon surprisingly light in your hands, for all the vibrations echoed along your arm.            

 

“You wish him dead, Pet?”

You turned to the Emperor Hux.  Unsurprised to see he held another blaster in his hand; arm outstretched and ready.  It was identical to the one you had briefly carried; making you realise that he too had been at no risk whilst you were armed.  You did want him dead, but somehow to order the man to kill his father was abhorrent.  It would have been like training your daughters to kill him.  The Decraniated had to die though.  That nightmare had to be put to bed.  It was now or never; you needed to act quickly.  Stepping forwards, your shoulder pulled back; arm straightening as you brought it up ready to strike.  Swinging the blade down in an arc that should have connected with its target, had it not been for the sudden shot the stilled your arm.  The bolt sailed passed you, hitting the control box above his father’s head; making you drop the sabre in shock and step back. 

More shots came, at least half a dozen into his father’s body; his intent clearly to make you realise he would never be getting back up after that.  Another step back and Ren scooped up the sabre; drawing a line with the plasma blade, right through Brendol’s middle; leaving his body in two pieces.  He was dead you realised, another wave of tremors wracking your body.  The implications of it all leaving a brief taste of bile in your mouth, as your legs gave out under you.  Brendol Hux had been wrong; clearly his son was capable of patricide.

   


	41. Chapter 41

Firm arms scrabbled desperately for you, as you swayed dizzily on unsteady legs.  Unsure in your shock what you were trying to achieve, except to escape from the splattering’s of raw entrails smeared over the otherwise pristine floor.  You tried to take a step forwards, but like a new born lamb; your legs buckled from under you.  Hux fighting you to finally able to gain purchase on your waist, catching you and holding onto you, before your weakened body could fully hit the floor.  You were too busy trying to fight off the fatigue in your muscles to push him away; to remind him you had not given him permission to touch you.  Unable to process properly what had just happened yet for the shock of he had just done for your children. 

You bent over his arm and retched, a mix of stomach acid and yellow bile adding to the gore already smearing the Emperor’s otherwise pristine shoes.  The excess adrenaline seemed to have fled your system quicker than it had surged it.  Leaving you with a sickening fuzz of incomprehensibility, that still in your confusion whispered; run.  You had tried to stand again, but had found your body boneless and unresponsive.  Uncoordinated in your attempts to take gazelle-steps to evade the reality of what you had caused.  You wanted gone from the mess, from the sickening realisation of what had just happened.  But nobody would listen, and let go of you; and no one would permit you the risk of further exhausting yourself by walking back to your room.  Eventually Ren clucked his tongue, and given you one of two choices, when you continued uselessly to fight against Hux’s grip and stand independently.  Either you had to wait and use an invalid chair.  Or he carried you back to your rooms. 

You were cross, and turning your jaw defiantly towards Hux was pointless.  You were in no fit state to undertake the walk back to your room.  Your muscles were weak from the surgery and already over worked from the walk here.  Ren added that didn’t care what you wanted or had agreed with Hux, you were not to try walking out of here.

Spluttering a protest to Hux was equally as pointless.  He just held tightly on to you.  Tucking your head under his chin as he swallowed repeatedly, refusing to intercede to back up either protest.  In the end, you had refused to answer further demands, but had not fought Ren when he had reached for you.  Arms reaching under your thighs to scoop you effortlessly from Hux’s almost crushing grasp.  Secretly thankful that he had saved your pride from needing to grant him permission to carry you.  The chair would take too long to arrive, and you wanted gone from this horrible chamber.   

“Tidge, she needs to be at home.”

You hadn’t realised how hard you had been shaking, until Ren had spoken.  His deep baritone cutting the strings on your open fascination with watching Hux; dropping your gaze to the floor; ignoring the footsteps that came closer.  Jumping as a soft woollen weight added to the nerf fibre blanket over your shoulders.   Your head lolling loosely on your shoulders, resting against Ren’s broad chest, fighting back the sway of sickening vertigo as he stood.  Hux peering down at you, leaving you with a breathless ‘pet’ as his hands brushed your cheek.  Lips pressing together before he wordlessly led on. 

You suppressed a shiver as Ren shifted your weight in his arms, to bring you tighter to him.  The weight of Hux’s cloak more comforting than the warmth as Ren cradling you against his chest.  For all you didn’t want to appear weak of spirit now; it was difficult to not to feel some relief that they had finally dealt with Brendol.  But you still had not expected Hux to be the one who delivered the killing blow; you like his father had honestly believed him in capable of the act.  For all the Emperor had repeatedly raped you, forced you to become what you were now; it was nothing to the revulsion you had felt when Brendol told you he intended to make use of you. 

There was a part of you that wanted to go back.  To somehow further desecrate the man’s corpse, but you did not, and could not.  Even with the pitiless stare Hux fixed on his father, you knew you could not demand that they let you.  For better or for worse; the man had just killed his mutilated father.  You could not ask to further prolong the experience for him.  Already the man was reduced to a small shell of the proud Emperor you knew.  His silence deafening in the wake of what he had just accomplished.    

That silence worked fine for you right now.  You had neither the desire not he energy to start digging through this painful can of worms.  Tonight, you had done more than you had in the weeks laid up in bed.  The weariness was bone deep and painful; so instead you stayed quiet, observant of the Emperor.  Ignoring the sweat sheen that dusted your forehead.  The exertion leaving your skin sticky with salt; cooling to a tacky coating on your skin that made your nightdress cling to you.  The soft fabric unnaturally coarse and Ren’s tunic too scratchy where it brushed over bared flesh.  Making you tuck yourself tighter into Hux’s cloak, protecting your uncovered arms. 

There was no hint of anger at what you had caused, just a state of numbness, that he had killed his father.  Ren too was soundless, each massive stride from the detention centre had you swaying in his arms, as he followed his lover.  Perhaps it was just everyone being too overwhelmed.  Too consumed in mulling over what the fuck had happened, to focus much on anything.  Just everyone focusing on the journey back to the Imperial quarters.  They had not even stopped to leave instructions for the disposal of his body.  Just silent walking, Hux’s hands hung loose at his sides; nothing to help you work out how the fallout would affect you. Leading with his jaw clenched shut tight, eyes empty shells, unfocused ahead.   Nothing that suggested that the death had done more than to leave Hux shell shocked.  You on the other hand; were not.  You had no regrets that you had been the one about to kill Hux’s father.  Even if you had later had felt remorse for murdering him you could have coped.  To you it would have been just like lancing a boil; for the good of everyone Brendol Hux had to die.  He had been too much of a menace to allow to go on breathing.  Had the Emperor not shot him, you still would have risked his wrath by slaying him.  The thought of that man looking at the girls, made a shiver run your spine; you could not have ever afford the risk of your children encountering him.

“It is right that you feel no guilt for what I chose to do.  His actions were far more treasonable than he claimed my own were.”

Hux’s delated monotone, suggested there had already been a reckoning between both father and son.  One last argument, perhaps Hux at last standing up to his bully.  It helped to ease away the guilt you hadn’t realised you had been trying to justify to yourself.  You had been so consumed by hate that you had been ready to kill him.  Just to see him breathing had still been an affront to your eyes.  You knew Hux was right, you shouldn’t have felt any guilt.  But nor should the lost boy, in the body of the Emperor, that walked at your side.  Hux should have felt pride that he had severed the head of the link that sought to take your children.  Even though they had taken and reprogramed to render Brendol Hux helpless and devoid of free, will it had not been enough.  No amounts of pleading that he was incapable of harming you or your children would have stayed your hand; he had put you through enough.    

For all he had spoken; Hux still wouldn’t meet your gaze when you looked openly at him.  Did he think to make his father become decraniated was enough, would he resent you now it wasn’t? 

Did he feel you somehow forced his hand when you had demanded to see the remaining parts of his father?  The only man you had seen Hux flustered around, frantic in his endeavours to prove himself worthy.  Uselessly trying to win the man’s respect; a man who thought himself above everyone.  Or perhaps he somehow thought that this would make you even.  That by killing his father you should forgive him everything he had put you through.  Was the death meant as an atonement for his own vile acts?

Your top lip pulled back over your teeth at the audacity of it.  All it had proved was that all parents would work together for your children’s safety.  There was nothing here to make you forgive them, or to suggest they had done it for you.  Ren had asked if you wanted him dead, but you had not asked them to kill for you.  You had been perfectly willing to act alone; to cauterise the wound yourself.  The Emperor had decided to shoot him off his own back.  He shouldn’t have needed to wait for Ren to ask.  No one could possibly need confirmation that you wanted the man to die.  IF Hux was as perceptive as he thought himself, he should have understood that even decraniated the man was not enough for them and outright killed him.

“Because Little-Pet you needed to see him die; to believe it had happened.”

Ren’s voice was like a growl, deep with warnings laced into the statemented facts.  You refused sullenly to give him an answer, it would just become the threads of a vicious argument anyway.  He didn’t have to listen to your thoughts, you were pretty sure that he could try harder to block them. After all, wasn’t he supposed to be all masterful of the force.  You hated that Ren was right.  Hated that he could sort through your thoughts well enough to stem the niggling doubts.  The one’s he could sense that would grow into crippling monsters.  Ren had not looked at you as he spoke.  Face ahead, concentrating on getting into your shared chambers.  Ignoring the passing servants and on lookers, scrabbling urgently to get out of the Emperor’s way.  No one wanting to be the one who questioned why Ren carried a half dirty waif to his chambers.  

Your glass covered bedroom had proven too unsafe in Hux’s opinion to allow you to return there.  His clipped commands ordering Ren into their room with you.  Almost you thought to protest that droids could clean it, that you could wait, instead of him insisting you sleep in their bed.  Your protests fell on deaf ears and you were too tired to fight Hux as he finally spoke his answer.  Pulling back the coverlet to allow Ren to lay you down.  His voice brusque and gravelly as he ordered the Knight to place you down and to leave you to rest in peace. 

You sank wearily into the mattress feeling more out of place in his immaculately made bed than you ever had.  Your hair was greasy, but you dared not draw attention to how unclean it was by scratching it or your skin.  It wasn’t that you hadn’t washed, but flecked with cooled sweat it itched.  Hux couldn’t have missed that, and yet he was still making you sleep here.  Allowing something imperfect to reside in the perfect cleanliness of his bed.  Moving swiftly to cover you up.  Hux meticulously pulling extra pillows and blankets from boxes and cupboards, eager to leave you alone; to sleep in privacy.  Tucking the covers around you before you could make your protests that that they couldn’t sleep in here with you. 

Ren had moved to assist Hux in gathering up the spare bedding.  Moving efficiently to carry it to the lounge.  Returning whilst his lover gave brusquely spoken promises that they would both sleep elsewhere; but as always were nearby should you need them.  Both men had bid you a good night, but Ren had been the slower one to depart the room.  Obviously deciding before he left to sweep up all the cushions and pillows on the bed.  Nestling the ones that did not support your neck, all around you like a little fort.  Covering you with an extra but very thin blanket.  The holes in the weave leaving it semi-transparent, and the material light enough to pull over your head.  Leaving you in a supportive little cocoon of light stippled bedding.  The small nest reminiscent of the kinds you had built to hide in whilst you had been pregnant. 

He had stopped to look back at you before he left.  The material thin enough to show a blurred image of the darkly clan Knight.  One hand rested on the door frame as he asked if you would please permit someone to assist you to take a shower in the morning.   There had been no need to curl your lip in distaste, or to shake your head unable in your shame to speak your refusal.  You knew you didn’t smell, but you weren’t exactly the cleanest you had ever been either.  Your head itched with the layers of dry shampoo.  Truth be told you would love a shower, but the idea of needing assistance had still been too invasive for you.  The thought of being stripped naked, vulnerable in front of yet another stranger was too much to bare just yet.  For all you wanted that shower; you couldn’t feel that exposed yet.  When you found you could finally swallow the lump that had prevented you from speaking, Ren was already falling over himself to explain that he had meant.  Not for him or Hux to help, but a medic or servant an unknown to you; certainly not someone like them.  It made you wince at the implications that would come with a refusal.  You knew you couldn’t refuse forever, and nor were they likely for much longer to let you. 

A slow deep breath, and then another, and Ren lowered his lids in frustration.  Thick, dark lashes so thick and long that you could see them through the holes in the loose weave of the blanket.  Falling to sweep the curves of his cheeks bones, taking his time before lifting them again to allow him to look at you again with renewed patience.  You bit your lip, trying not to reminisce that your daughter had those same lashes.  So very long and abundant; dark as midnight framing her eyes.  Quietly a tear formed as you recalled the way she had looked pressed to your chest; nestled against your heart.  Curving over your cheek as you thought on your first meeting.  Her lashes springing open to expose the bottomless pits of her own soul, to look at you.  Her naked body so innocent, so vulnerable as her unfocused eyes had taken stock of her mother. 

Did she; could she ever understand why her mother had left her.  In later life could she understand why you could not bear to risk touching them; could you really justify it?  More soundless tears welled; as the guilt struck like a papercut to the strings of your heart.  Your mind stuck on an endless loop of fear; of what you had been capable of doing.  Hux thought that the only thing that could harm your children lay dead on the floor, but what about you?  What if in inadvertently you hurt them, if by just being you it wasn’t enough.  They were princesses; both of them heirs to the Empire and you were nothing; just a common and traitorous whore.  Worth less than dirt under the lowest citizen’s feet.  You honestly didn’t know if what you risked more by holding them now, caring for them.  Hurting them now or in time when your children suffered the embarrassment of knowing what you were.

Ren and Hux had claimed so many times to have killed to protect your children; it was probably the only plausible reason you been permitted to stay this long.  It was certainly the only reason no one had succeeded in their plans to maim or kill you.  Like Hux had said; your first pregnancy was a complete accident.  But now you were not pregnant and with the evidence of what happened to those who threatened his children so openly presented to you as it had been this night.  Faceless and cut cleanly in two; what did that mean for you if you slipped up.  What if your status threatened them, would Hux kill you too.

He clicked his tongue across the roof of his mouth.  The tsk, meant somehow to belay your fears; and not to make your body shudder in a breathless sob.  Almost he came back to you.  The muscles of his body realigning himself, making him ready to come to you. One forlorn little word halted him, his fathomless eyes locked with yours.  Your breath as loud as your thundering heart.     

“Don’t.”

You thought there was more, but you couldn’t say it now.  Too afraid that you couldn’t say enough; or worse that you would say too much and lose yourself forever to the threat.  Fearful that you were not ready to be comforted.  You knew you were in there somewhere; but you didn’t quite know how to put yourself back together yet.  And if so; if you could find yourself again, would you ever be the same person you were?  Perhaps you had always been the frightened little mouse, that person you could remember.  But you could remember someone else, someone who had at times stood up to Hux’s bullying games.  Someone who he had mostly beaten out of you to make you his creature, his pet.  You looked up at Ren.  You knew you had to be still projecting, and that Ren could hear all of your thoughts.  He would know everything then, why you couldn’t bear to be touched; but wanted so badly to be held, why he had to stay away.    

A sudden crash intersected the weighted silence between you.  Ren tensed, listening to a single roared word; before sprinting off in the direction of the noise.  The sudden movement leaving the door still open ajar, meaning you could hear the concern in his voice as he yelled ‘Tidge’.  Running towards the source of the commotion. 

Another crash and you could hear the smashing of glass.  Recognising the voice as Hux, as he yelled in some obviously alien language, you neither spoke nor understood.  Ren answering him back using the same tongue.  Your eyes narrowing as you heard another more feminine tone intersect with Ren’s.  Her words equally as undecipherable, but their intent as with Ren’s obviously meant to sooth the Emperor.  Neither Ren or this woman speaking as loudly as Hux had.  It seemed to go without saying; that either nobody wanted to disturb the probably sleeping babies, or else nobody wanted to risk you understood the dialect. 

If it had been for the former it was a wasted attempt.  The commotion of Hux’s breakages and yelling having woken one of his daughters and a shrill cry broke.  The protesting wail loudly silencing all three voices.  Ren it seemed was the attentive one, bursting into the outside corridor.  Running off in the direction of the nursery, whilst you hid further under the covers from the commotion.  Trying not to breathe in the cloying scent of the men that clung thickly to the sheets.  Another piping cry, meant the next cry was for Hux to answer.  Both attentive in answering what even you knew was an angry and sleepy demand for food.  They didn’t need you; you reminded yourself.  Easing both your guilt and your sorrow.  Trying uselessly to reason with your jealousy, by watching the efficient flittering of shadows, as they ran. They were just like their mother you realised. Needy, but also voiceless and so very helpless.  Reliant on another for everything.  How simple that world must be for them you thought.  Little to worry about except sleeping, and eating. To be secure in the knowledge that when they cried out, someone always ran.  

The men were more capable of caring for them, than they ever had been you.  Able in minutes to quickly appease their daughters demands for food, with the ease of the well-practiced.  Returning together back together to the room they had left, their voices quieter now and even with your suspicions your tiredness lulled you into another short sleep. 

Sleep was not to last long.  Even with their supper done the babies were not yet old enough to sleep through the night.  You lay awake listening for more tell tail mumbling.  Whilst their intermittent runs in the dim light would flash onto your walls.  The slowly rising sunlight, making the dimly lit corridor streak your walls with flashes of their passing shadows.  Intersecting the otherwise silent night with shuffling footsteps and lullabies.  There was one it seemed who needed to wake more often than her sister.  Her morning cries very different in pitch to her sibling.  Less angry and more needy than before; almost painful to listen to.  Colicky perhaps you thought, stilling the reflex need to go comfort her. Referring instead back to sound bites in the holo vids Hux had made you watch.  Listening as another tread of smaller feet pattered into the nursery.  Your ears straining to pick out more sounds of their conversation flittering through the corridor.  It was impossible when they spoke in that odd dialect to discern more than differing in tones of the speakers, one it seemed was female.  You were sure they were coming closer, and pulling back the covers, you swung your legs to the floor.  Creeping stealthily to check, peering through the gap in the doorframe to see who the woman was.  Too late in your caution to see anything of her in this light, except the white of her nightdress and her slender back; as she carried your daughter on her shoulder.  Walking along side Hux, disappearing past a bend in the passageway.  That brought with it a bubbling of spiteful thoughts; and you had glared at Hux’s back as he followed the woman towards the nursery.  Almost risking him discovering you spying on him then he turned around to switch off the light. 

You had swiftly ducked back into the bed, in the darkness.  Your stomach in knots at the realisation that whomever she was, she had already replaced you.  You spat venom at close they had looked, as together they had blended into the shadows.  Your fucking daughter on his shoulder.  Her at his side; his equal.  Who was she? Another one of his whores, this one elevated to nanny?  Or had her willingness to accept his child ingratiated her into his good books.  Stroked both his libido and his bloated ego to see her holding his baby.  How long has this taken, how often did she touch them? Just quickly he had found another to replace you; or had she been there all along?   How envious were you? Did a part of you really want to fall back into the role they had created for you?  To become again, that thing chained to the throne?  No, that person had been too weak, she had relied too much on Hux, and then when he stripped himself from her, she had collapsed.  Not knowing where he ended, and she had begun; too used to using her obedience as a crutch.  Her obedience for more exhausting in the end than the daily struggle.

You breathed in the warmth of your little shelter as you lay awake, unable to sleep now for your deafening thoughts.  The air inside reeked of the scent of both Ren and Hux.  Not just the cologne Hux wore, or the clean scent of soap and iron that followed Ren.  But purely of them, how their bare skin had smelt as it pressed to you.  It perfumed your nightdress, their smell mixing with the clean cotton until it took over you.  Replacing the single smell of the antiseptic form the medicenter, with them.  It was familiar and comforting, yet terrifying to smell them so close to you. 

You had to have slept again to have woken with such a jolt to almost full sunlight outside.  There were wailing sounds coming repeatedly from the Nursery, one of the babies you realised.  Grunting as you rolled back over onto your side, to face away from the glass fronted wall to your left.  The sounds repeated themselves and you grew, annoyed that neither man had gone to see to the child.  Your eyes prickling at each minute sound that could be the beginnings of footsteps.  None came, and you grew at first concerned. 

You knew there was no way Hux would have left them unattended; but nobody was going to see to them.  Perhaps you thought easing your guilt with reason, they were deliberately leaving the child to cry.  Hux purposefully refusing to see to her, in the hopes that it would cause you some remorse to hear her cry, to embarrass you into going yourself.  Well it wasn’t going to work you told yourself.  Stuffing your head under a pillow, worried despite your anger the longer the noise went on.  It still wasn’t going to work, you told yourself resolutely.  Unsure how it all worked, but hoping that you were thoughts were still loud enough in their veracity for Ren to hear.  Screaming churlishly from within the confines of your mind, that you hadn’t even wanted children; he would not make you go to them.  Your breath stilling as the noise instantaneously stopped.

You listened out, trying to work out if you had just not heard one of the men go to her.  Reasoning that she must have cried herself back to sleep.  That if she had, that was okay.  It simply meant that she needed nothing and had just woken a little upset; you had won this round.  You relaxed your muscles, ignoring the guilt at what you had just thought and settled back into the bed.  Determined to return to sleep, insisting to yourself that she was okay and this was another of Hux’s little games.  Everything tensed at once, as the same cry began again, and this time you found yourself flinging back the covers to sprint out of bed.  Furious that Hux was doing this to you, but unable to leave her to cry unheeded and alone any longer; you knew too much what that felt like. 

You encountered nobody in the corridor outside.  Nor had you expected not to, both men would be either laid up in bed still, or seeing to their morning toilet.  They must have agreed to this course of action you summarised, livid that they would leave you to do this.  Eye prickling as you swiftly marched there.  This was foolish of them, you knew nothing of how to care for them, beyond expressing your milk.  What did they expect you to do when you got there; read her mind and work out exactly what she needed. 

You reached the door, and rested your palm of your hand against the wooden door.  Drawing in a deep breath, you almost turned on your heels to seek out Ren or Hux.  Tempted to root one of them out and demand they come see to her.  She was screaming loudly enough that they should have heard her, there was no need for you to be here; they should be here.  Heart thudding you pushed open the door, stepping into the nursery.  Hissing as the movement tightened your nightdress over your breast; rubbing one of your nipples.  You were like a nerf, needing to be milked morning and night; already they were sore and full.  Milk leaked around your nipple, making the white nightdress translucent where it clung to them. 

One cot was empty.  Elliana you could remember seeing last on her father’s shoulder and so it confused you that he had left his other daughter alone.  You stepped closer to the brunet’s cot; realising as you did that you did that you didn’t know her name.  She didn’t know you, so you expected her to carry on her caterwauling as you peered down at her.  She didn’t, the emergence of someone stopping her crying with a hiccupping babble, the noises silencing as she looked up at you.    You had forgotten how it had felt that first day to hold her.  He chocolate brown orbs fixed on you as you whispered a gentle ‘hello baby’ in greeting to her.  She blinked as slow and almost deliberate act that drew you closer.  Making you bend over the low cot sides to stroke her cheek. 

She was so soft, he little mouth pursing as she sucked on nothing.  Wriggling under the blanket in protest at something as she began another low pitched gurgle which fast became a whining cry.  She was either hungry, or needed a change and she didn’t smell like she had messed her diaper.  Looking around the room you began searching for a bottle and when that failed the breast pump instead.   

The Nursery was as orderly as a battleship, yet you couldn’t find a bottle and her cries where getting louder.  It physically hurt to hear her wails, but you couldn’t find anything to give her.  The leaking at your nipples was getting worse, and she sounded awful but still no one would come.  Bending over the cot, you ignored the instructions not to and lifted her from the cot.  Pressing her tight to you as you tried more fruitless searching; sobbing in sympathy with her as you anxiously turfed out the last cupboard. 

You were coming up with nothing and the frustration in her cry only increased at realising she could smell milk so close.  You pleaded with her to shush, as her head kept on routing towards her food source.  For all this risked breaking down every wall you had set in place; it was too cruel to keep hearing her cries.  Turning your head to look uselessly once more around the room, you headed towards the chair.  More anxious than ever as you unfastened your gown, that you didn’t know what you were doing here.  Expecting you to feed a child easily with no experience was stupid of them; but you couldn’t let her suffer any longer.  She was used to a bottle, to something that was nothing like a nipple.  The chances where she wouldn’t even know what to do; and you certainly didn’t.  You lifted out your breast to more routing.  Her tiny mouth opening and closing as she searched for the source of her food.  It took several tries, her milk normally coming from a synthetic teat you guessed but eventually you sighed.  Relief numbing the sob you gave when her mouth managed to latch onto you.

This was so unfair, she would just be another thing they would in time hurt you with.  But as she suckled those thoughts faded, too enthralled with watching her feed.  Enjoying the lessening pain, clutching her to you, as she took from you.  Her eyes watching you as she took from this new food source.  Quietly you cooed; speaking nonsense to her as you stroked her brow with the fingertips of your spare hand.  Watching as her lids slowly descended to land on her round little cheeks her sucks slowing in their ferocity as her belly had its fill.       

You were pretty sure she was done, and you were also aware she probably needed winding.  Her infant snores lulling your own sleepy senses towards a half drowsy wakefulness.  Lifting her onto one shoulder you continued your murmured praises for her, the words meant to comfort you as much as her.  You needed to find someone who could deal with her, someone who could name her rather than keep calling her baby.  Stepping past the cot you were hit with some vague sense that you should put her back.  That by going and waking one of them you were just bringing them the proof that you had willingly played into their little mind game. 

You pressed open every door you could find, until you found the one with their half-made beds. The bedding laid across makeshift sofa beds. The covers pushed aside and unmade as sunlight now streamed through the windows. It was full morning and doubtless they were about official business now, or preparing to attend to it. Shrugging you lowered your baby to look at her sleeping, her body wriggling under the sleepsuit as she shifted once more to sleep comfortably and unconcerned in your arms. You should go put her back, you argued with yourself again. Refusing to comprehend that your feet were leading you in the opposite direction and back towards your temporary bed. Pulling back the covers to lay down. Her chest still laid against yours as you covered the pair of you up.

You could deal with this later, you told her in a whisper. Arguing that if Daddy didn’t want her in here with mummy, that he would scold you for taking her; then he shouldn’t have left her to cry.

"I'll take care of you,"

You whispered to her. Your heart thudding as you realised the depth of your reinstated promise; of how hurt you could become by it all. Pressing soft kisses to her forehead, as you drank in the scent of talcum powder and milk. Her little dreams as drunk on them, as you were on how you felt for her, right now.

      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It goes without saying that I may have taken some artistic licences here at the end. Breast feeding can be for many women a difficult and due to some health care professional a traumatic experience. Also Midwives argue you should never sleep next to your baby; however I know plenty of parents who have. ( I am not advocating you try, I am not trained in midwifery or postnatal care). So just in case anyone wanted to complain, this is Fiction.
> 
> Other wise thank you to everyone who comments and gives kudos. Its always good when you write something to get feedback, also what author doesn't like discussing their works lol.


	42. Chapter 42

It was the bellowing outside that woke you long before the sudden footsteps that foretold the likely opening of your door.  For all you had slept such a short time, a matter of minutes or perhaps an hour or two at most; you felt more rested than you had ever done in your drug fuelled sleeps.  But the deep sleep left you partially disorientated in your movements as you scrambled to make sense of it all.

“Ren, Ren! Where the fuck is she!”

Hux had realised you had been in the Nursery, and he was cross.  Further yells for Ren, made you pleased you had closed the door properly behind you.  His swearing easily flittering through the thankfully still closed wooden door.  You were scared, the wood would only serve as a temporary barrier to his rage. 

But it was too late now to go back and put down his daughter.  The small bundle continuing to make baby snores into the neckline of your nightdress.  It was far too late to ask for permission and there was no way he would accept any of begging for his forgiveness.  There was no way of rewinding to undo the actions of last night; so you it was better to face him head on.  You were no less determined in your intentions towards your daughter. The heartfelt promise you had made to her, right before you had joined her in sleep was still your priority.  Even in the few hours of caring for her your desire to keep her had increased tenfold.  It was not that you had loved her any less with your refusals to accept her before; just that you had loved her enough to step back.  They had rocked that boat by leaving her alone.  If they were too busy with other things that was not your fault.  Whoever they were allowing near her could back off.  She was yours and he or nobody else was going to take her from you.  Not now, not ever.  You could see to her needs better than some woman who deserted her; you didn’t need other women touching your babies.

You could hear shuffling outside and wondered as Hux pushed open the door why you had not thought to barricade it.  Tensing as the Emperor stormed into the room, declining social niceties such as a knocked introduction or even warning that he would try to come in.  Your muscles responded for you, scrambling urgently to kick yourself out of the covers.  Shakily fighting the wobble of the mattress to stand at the head of the bed, turning to shelter your daughter.  Balancing on the balls of your feet, ready to bolt as needed whilst your arms curled tighter around her, securing the sleeping infant to your chest.  Hiding her in the folds of your body as he took several long strides into the room.  Stopped suddenly as you screamed ‘NO!’ your mouth only able to form the one word in your panicked frenzy.  Hux seemed frozen in his tracks turning to looked up to you, as though you were not really the first thing he had come looking for.  Pretending, or simply just overlooking that you had not heard his yelling in the corridor.

Stood precariously balanced on the pillows, you clutched anxiously at the small bundle you were determined to keep from him.  Your daughter too fast asleep to realise what was happening; even at the volume you had yelled.  Absolute in your determination not to hand her over.  Shifting to stand so your shoulder shielded her better from him.  Keeping your hold on her, to hoist her onto the opposite shoulder; ready in a nanosecond to bolt.  Ignoring the niggling doubt that was honed through months of his possession of you.  You knew that to challenge his right for anything was far from being a good idea.  But your drive to do so was so instinctual it was almost primal. 

You slowly controlled your shaking; summoning bravery you knew you did not really possess, to wrap both your arms around her.  Folding them at her back and bottom as though little you could somehow prevent him from taking her from you.  Shuffling back so you were pressed tighter to the headboard.  Increasing the distance, ready and willing to hurt him if he took her; this time you wouldn’t care about the consequences; she had to realise you had fought for her. 

Hux’s eyes were wide with shock at your bravado, completely turned inky black.  Not a hint of blue left in them, his mouth open in shock as he stared up at you; for once lost for words.  It had been so long since you had gotten angry perhaps this socked him to have you snarling in warning at him.  It was a smug achievement to rock the boat in this manner and you would have smirked it a him, if it hadn’t of been so dangerous to do so.  Even angry, you knew better than to provoke the beast that was his ego. 

He took a slow step forwards; watching you as he did, the diminutive redhead still laid out on his shoulder.  Her cheeked pressed to the heavy tunic he wore; her hair thicker than you last remembered it, but still an exact match to her father’s.  You moved back, risking tripping on the littered soft furnishings.  Eyes fixed on him, stopping in your escape only when he did too.   

Elliana too asleep; her little legs curled under her as he shifted her weight, supporting her against his chest holding her up by her bottom.  He didn’t move and time seemed to stand still as he waited.

“I’m not cross at you; REN!”

The ginger bellowed for his companion.  Halting when he realised the effect on you, was possibly not the one he wanted.  He yelled again for Ren but either he genuinely had left the building or else he was refusing to come when called.  Hux’s attention turned back on you, deliberately softening his features; insisting repeatedly that it was all okay.  His patronising tone, similar to how he talked to a unintelligent animal as he promised over and over again that he was not here to hurt you; just worried.  You were not stupid enough to listen to another one of his lies.  You had seen enough of his traps to know when not to allow him to corner you; stepping down from the bed; and slowly working towards the door in the walled glass behind you.  The one you knew would lead into the patio; a place with more space.  

He didn’t move; not even to try and gain an easier access to the main bedroom door.  Just staring stupidly at you, waiting.  Waiting for what? Did he want a report, some sort of explanation was that what he was waiting for?  Was it that he knew Ren was already in position outside that door; that was why he didn’t need to move, he knew his precious Hound already had you cornered. 

Quickly you stammered your explanation, hoping to appease his anger.  Recanting the last few hours to him, how she had been crying alone, you had fed her.  Praying as you did that Ren didn’t come through the door behind you, that you were not about to get hurt today.  Ignoring the tear that fell in fear; thickening your voice and closing your throat to every third syllable.  You had not been disobedient; you had only done what you had thought best for her at the time.  Not sure enough where in all this, her being in bed with you asleep fitted to add to your tale.  But scared as hell that he was going to hurt you now, but sure as hell you hadn’t regretted any of it. 

 “Do you really think I would take her from you?  You are her mother.”

You did.  There was no skirting around your fears, he had flayed you open bare so often to think this way.  This was how he had conditioned you; that in times of doubt always expect the worst from him.  Hux shook his head, stammering as he coaxed you to step down from the bed.  Falling over his words in complete frustration at being unable to make you understand him.  The words that he spoke making it clear enough to you, but not the intent that he wished to convey to you.  He’d lied countless times, and some of them just because he considered you below the truth.  You didn’t believe him, you couldn’t believe him anymore.  He seemed to show more desperation to convey the message, than to take care that it was what he wanted to say.  Yelling for Ren whilst carrying his other daughter still on his shoulder as he hastily ran to the door.  Moving to cut off you last exit, in a blatant show of the truth.  Making you slide quickly from the door, sliding to slot yourself in a small space between cabinets.  The sudden jerk painful both on your stomach muscles and your ass.  The jolt waking the child in your arm, who quickly wailed her displeasure into the room. 

You rocked her whilst keeping Hux in your sights.  Trying to apologise by shushing her, something that was difficult to do whilst you had to watch Hux.  Heart thudding as a second pair of boots joined Hux in the bedroom; slowly plodding around towards you.  You tucked your chin down; reckoning now that it was pointless watching Hux if Ren was in the room.  Kissing your daughter forehead; christening her with your tears as you hid you both behind a tent of your hair.

The tempo slowed as it reached you.  One and then another black boot put into place before Ren crouched before you; his back to Hux.  You swallowed; tightening yourself around the baby careful to keep your grip loose enough not to hurt her.  You didn’t want to hurt her; you had never wanted to hurt her and now he was here.  Ready to do his master’s bidding and take her from you; ready to hand her back over to his Emperor.

“Tidge get out.”

You flinched; not really sure you had heard him but your body responding naturally to the wrath that would come with that issued order.  Instead Hux drew breath ready to protest at receiving orders from an inferior when Ren spoke again.  His voice more of a command this time; but his order’s less succinct.  This time explain why he wanted him out.  

“Hux get out, lay Elliana on the bed and leave her.  She’s petrified your going to take them from her.”    

“Ren, I have no intentions of taking them from her; you have heard me tell her so often enough.  This is just silliness, the children need feeding tell her to hand me Eloise.”

There was a jolt inside you as he flippantly spoke your second daughter’s name to his lover.  Your brows raised in shock under your makeshift wall; as Ren stiffened.  Had he just realised you hadn’t known, his daughter’s name yet.  Would he have made the introduction more formal then?  Or was this like when Hux had placed them onto your chest; something you just had to accept as normal.  You watched him through the curtain of hair, peering over Ren’s lowered shoulder.  Hux had come closer; obviously not realising that his lover meant his words.  Stopping as though he had just realised that he perhaps should not have been that hasty to reply; that Ren was being serious.

Hux’s words mirrored his movements; stiff.  He was disjointed by this treatment of him.  Let him you thought savagely.  You hoped Ren was making him feel a little of how you had felt in his company; surplus to practical requirements and useless.  Let him see how it felt to have someone decide for him, what he should and should not want; how he should proceed.  His choice of how you would feed your daughter was something else that he had casually dismissed you from having any say on.  Breast was best, and you would simply see to his sense and comply.  Nothing but the best for his little darlings; even if you had to suffer.  Your life was so cleverly micromanaged by him that it must kill him now to bend to what Ren wanted for you. 

You refused to feel sorry for him, even if he looked so lost now.  You had no pity for this thing, this monster who has made you feel that out of place constantly. Hux looked back at you, refusing to break his hold on you.  A challenge you realised, lowering your head to Eloise in a show of contrition.  Something was going on over your head; and you had no wish to be involved in it; the fallout from both sides would only be aimed at you.  Whatever it was Hux seemed to not so much have accepted his defeat, as made to turn that defeat under his control again.  Speaking not to Ren, but you.  Telling you that Elliana needed food, she would wake soon and be hungry.  If you were going to be _difficult_ , then he needed to grab a bottle from the nursery.  He was treating a woman who had gone through childbirth like a small child.  Talking as though he was the only one being reasonable here, didn’t you realise you were stopping him from carrying out his _duty_.

“When was Eloise last fed, shall I fetch you a bottle for her too?”

 It wasn’t even that he had done wrong in trying to permit you to feed your daughter; he was trying to alter himself to fit around what he thought you wanted.  But again, he had done the wrong thing by still dictating to you, how it was to be done.  It was like your first meeting with her all over again; to imagine you wanted to hold your baby was spot on.  But it had been so overwhelming to have him just thrust her on you, to decide what was best for you in everything.  Now in this latest of his well placed intentions, he was doing it again; taking yet again another choice from you.  Hadn’t he see there was no milk in the nursery. How did he think you had managed to feed her if he hid her food from you? 

“Elliana doesn’t need a bottle Hux.”

For him to know that thought, Ren was either inside your fucking head again; or you were again projecting.  Nothing was sacred to them, not even your rights as a mother to feed her children.   Slowly you looked down at Eloise, her eyes again closed to the world as she gave little baby snuffles into your neck.  Rosy cheeked and so dependent on others, she was amazingly again fast asleep on your chest; she trusted you.  You felt that you had achieved something for yourself last night, when you had been forced to feed her yourself.  Your eyes gave a little smile at that, even if it didn’t quite hit your lips.  Unlike you, she was seemingly unaffected by all that was going on around her.  Odd, you would have thought she would have been a lot more concerned about the strange woman who took her last night, the one still holding onto her.  Perhaps you mused, it wasn’t really security how you would think of it.  Perhaps she was just impartial to where her food came from, she would allow anyone to feed, her so long as milk came. 

Your lips curled up at the corners, into a full smile as you spoke her name to her, asking her how she felt about it all.  Your mouth wrapping itself around her name as you spoke it.  Moulding it to her, making it fit around the infant girl in your arms.  Feeling the weight of it your heart as you looked back over at Ren.  Your voice barely above a whisper, asking him if that really was the case; did she know you did the force quite work that way.

“You imagine she is the Force sensitive child?”      

Of course you did!  Didn’t it make sense that as she was biologically his; that she also carried his force traits.  He was patiently waiting for your reply holding onto an awake and soon to be squalling and not so patient baby.  You managed to dip your head into a single nod of agreement.  One corner of his mouth pulling into a lopsided smile as he shook his head. 

“They both have inherited some powers from their shared blood supply.  But Elianna will be much, much stronger.”

Your jaw dropped opened.  Never in a million years would you have assumed that would have been the case.  You could understand that the shared blood could have created a temporary change, as it had done you.  But for Elliana to be the one who had communicated with you in the womb, how was that even a possibility; Hux wasn’t a force sensitive.  He had views on The Force, and they were not polite.  He was far from accepting of those who had it, almost treating it like an affliction.  His lover aside Hux hardly had a good word to say about those who were force sensitive and didn’t keep his opinions to himself.  How would he feel about his daughter having inherited that; where had she inherited it from.  Did he have some distant relative who had been a force sensitive; because his father certainly wasn’t. 

The gurgled stirrings of a demanding cry had you shaking your head at yourself.  There were more pressing things here than questions, questions would wait, Elliana couldn’t all she understood was she was hungry.  That was your fault.  There was too much to undo here between you, and your daughters, but you had to start somewhere.  Although all of this, was all their father’s fault; they could not undo it alone, for the children’s sake you too had to try.  You really felt that you would go mad from longing if you didn’t accept them.  But that didn’t mean it did anything to stop the fear that came with wanting them, that you still could hurt them.  Or that they would hurt you, once they discovered who you were.  Perhaps Hux lied, but this was your choice to make with your body; one you smugly told yourself, she couldn’t do.  Something he wouldn’t have wanted you to take from him and his bottles.  Softly you lay Eloise down over your lap, refusing to hand her over for fear that you would not get her back.  Careful not to wake her as you bent over her, ensuring she was settled before you looked over her body at the towering Ren.  His body rocking as he tried too sooth a hungry Eloise, raising a brow in answer at your glare, amused a you mouthed the word ‘mine’ pointing down to her; raising your arms for her sister.  Knowing it was a useless warning of sorts, you were powerless here.  Nothing clearly; but some stupid masochist who enjoyed leaving yourself open to more mind games from the Emperor.  Not only did this display openly your weakness, but it also willingly gave him power.  Even this was hardly a choice, but it was the first you had been given.  If they lied then then he still could take her from you by force and force you to do this. 

If your daughter was hungry; then the need for a bottle was redundant.  You could take care of this in a less humiliating way.  It would be unbearable if he hurt you, but at least you had this now they couldn’t touch your memories; or hers.  You didn’t dare say it aloud but you hoped your thoughts spoke volumes to him.  She might be his child, but Eloise was your daughter and whilst he could take her from you; you would always be biologically her mother.  You didn’t have to make any of this easy for him, just your daughters.

“Do you still trust nothing we say; even after last night?  He killed his father for you Pet.”

There was an amused lift to his voice that shifted slowly into incredibility.  Though you didn’t believe for one minute that Hux had truly murdered his father for **you**.  You knew they lied, half the time they didn’t realise it themselves.  It was almost like they believed that if they didn’t speak the lie, it became less of one.  You were not about to waste your time arguing it with Ren.  All Hux had proven last night was that he would kill for Elliana and Eloise, he hadn’t really killed Brendol Hux for you.  If he had, he would have killed his father months ago.  There was nothing in his actions to suggest you were any safer than before. 

Another cry from your daughter and you pushed all of that aside.  Able to assess your priorities, even if you didn’t like them.  Unsure if Ren would respond to your wordless request.  Afraid that he would not permit you this; or worse that he would have you suffer the indignity of making you beg for that which you had previously refused.  Realising you were still holding up your arms for her, the Knight blinked shaking himself to clear the cobwebs from his own thoughts.  Thankfully he understood you wanted Elaina; though he did not state his terms yet.  Though given his frown as he glanced back at the bed it was less that he misunderstood what you wanted, and more that he did not understand why you were still on the floor.  Ren thankfully still acquiesced to your request.  Careful to lower her down without knocking Eloise or startling you.  Overly cautious in his movements, deliberately moving slower than he needed to, to crouch before you. 

If you thought your daughter looked tiny in Hux’s arms, it was nothing to how small she looked against the knight’s colossal frame.  Her length easily less than the forearm that held her against his chest.  His free had reaching to scoop her down from his shoulder, leaning over you, to place her down in your still outstretched arms.  Supporting her weight as you fetched her towards your chest.

“Hux will not stay away for long, he worries about you Pet.  He is not going to punish you, this he would enjoy seeing.”

All of this was very alien to you.  In private Hux had always allowed you to disrespect Ren, but he had never allowed you to watch Ren do it to you.  What was the cost for today’s infraction?  What would Ren ask of you in return for the punishment he doubtless would suffer, for ordering his Emperor to leave you alone.  You ignored that Ren was probably still watching you, to concentrate on your Elliana.   Reaching to unfasten the buttons of your nightdress, refusing look up at him.  Now wanting to acknowledge that in doing this, that you would have to briefly expose yourself to him.  That scared you, would he take you baring your flesh as a sign that you would become again open and willing.  That you could be persuaded once more to suffer their touches.  You unbuttoned the night dress lower than was necessary to spare you from showing too much flesh.  Tucking her beneath it to feed.  One look at your daughter and you failed to remember Ren was even in the room; all else eclipsed by her painfully desperate need for food. 

Even unaware how to access it, Elliana’s chin moved frantically to find your nipple; scenting out your milk.  Her head wobbling unsteadily on her undeveloped muscles, as she sought out both food and comfort.  Comfort that you had denied her for too long you told yourself, whilst she babbled nonsensical sounds into your skin.  For all she was no longer demanding her milk with shrill cries, Hux had been right in his assumptions that she was ready for a feed.  Seeking out what she knew to be the unfamiliar source of her breakfast.    Perhaps the experience last night had made it easier for you, but her suckling mouth had been far easier to guide to your nipple than her sister and far quicker to adapt.  She sucked vigorously and you were grateful for the lessening pressure on your breast. 

You hissed when her hand tangled into your hair, her fingers inadvertently tugging on a loose lock.  You reached to untangle yourself, replacing the hair with your finger.  Stroking over the backs of her hands with your thumb, finally able to look up at him now your nipple was covered. 

He was watching you so intently, that it was hard not to feel threatened by him.  His gaze firmly fixed on the seam where your breast joined to her mouth.  Making you shudder, though you couldn’t tell why.  It wasn’t exactly fear, but nor was it fully pride that you had overstepped their expectations of them.  Was he just mesmerised by the act, or did it go against what Hux had wanted for them.  Surely, he too thought this was just what was best for them.  He couldn’t be offended, or excited by the act; it was purely of non-sexual motives.  He coughed blushing as he realised you had caught him staring.  He was just making sure you were doing this correctly then?  At least you hoped that was all he was doing.

“Is this how you want to feed them Little-Pet?”

It was.  But it was hard to keep the scowl from your face as he addressed you with Hux’s given moniker for you.  But yes you realised it was exactly how you wanted to feed them.  You wanted something for yourself in all of this.  If feeding them was the one thing he had left for you to have to yourself then you would take it.  You would have one thing in this whole nightmare that was yours alone. Did this please him? You couldn’t tell, and nor did you think it would affect this outcome for you.  For him to have so steadfastly shooed Hux away, it had to mean he had agreed to you feeding them.  You just wondered now if you would be willing to pay the cost.  

Whatever it was, the squeal you gave as he suddenly lifted you from the floor, was if anything an indicator that willing or not; he would extract his perceived reward from you.  His strength easily able to scoop you all up.  Though it was the force you trusted he used to keep Eloise steady on your lap; and not the hand you quickly pressed against her to keep her safe as he swung around.  Bending to deposit you all on the bed.  Eloise only waking when her father stoked the bridge of her nose.

She cooed at him.  Her thoughts clearly expressing more to the dark eyed man than her words.  His back arching down to kiss her before he turned, reaching towards you.  You flinched, unable with them on you to move from the spot.  Your spine falling back against the bedhead, as he continued his movement.  This was the cost then was it; he would molest you whilst you fed them.  Would he next take it in turns with Hux once he relayed the terms to him?  You let out the breath you hadn’t realised you held as instead of your breast, his fingers plucked at the cloth of your nightdress.  Not drawing the material aside, but closing it so it better covered up the spare nipple.  Smoothing the milk-stained gown over you, to for the first time ever protect your modesty.   

You muttered your thanks.  Elliana letting go of your nipple to snuffle against you.  Lids half descended, almost drunk on her full tummy.  It was a comforting sight to realise you had managed to do something right.  Perhaps whether it was the one you wanted for yourself or not; you had a purpose now. 

You laid Elliana out next to you on the bed.  Careful to ensure she was still touching you, as you tuck her into a corner of you covers.  It made sense you realised to assume her sister was hungry too, and you reached down for her.  Ren splaying his palm flat over her in a definite refusal to let you pick her up.

“Eloise isn’t hungry. She; they were just was worried about their mother.”

“Was that why you sent Hux away?”

You titled you head as you asked the question; realising as you spoke it you didn’t really need his answer.  The father of your child had never protected you from the father of the other; but he would it seemed do anything to assuage his daughter’s fears.  So that was what protected you for now then; the naïve understandings of your babies?  What would happen when they grew bored with their daughter’s childish concerns?  Would you have to lie to your children to save their concerns, make your blind consent to their rapes more believable to save the girls knowing?       

“Yes.”

There is was anyway, and with it the answer to all your other thoughts.  They had pretended they were somehow above the vile morals of their pasts; keeping from you the truth of why you hadn’t been touched.  Hux had made out that he hadn’t touched you that night at his ancestral home because he cared, because you were suddenly something that needed protecting.  What he really had meant was that your pregnancy made it risky, and he wanted the children more than he wanted to fuck you.  In a matter of time it you would have healed from the surgery and he could resume his vicious cycle of abuse again. 

“Hux hasn’t told you their middle names has he?”

It was an odd thing to cut through your thoughts, though taking better notice of the squirming bundle on your lap you understood.  He was changing the subject again before Eloise caught onto your anxiety.  Your heart still beating an erratic tempo of fear, you shook your head.  Trying to reign in your thoughts, to save your daughter from experiencing your fear.  Ren sat on the bed side, leaning nonchalantly onto one arm.  Tilting back so he could gesture to the small copy of him asleep at your side.

“Eloise, Leia Hux.”

An image of the diminutive woman strapped into the medical gurney, sprung to mind as quickly as the sight of her slaughter.  Her betrayal by the man who should have protected her; who must have loathed her so much to butcher her as he had done his father.     

“You hated your mother, you murdered her.”

You didn’t care of the outcome for you on that comment; you had loved you fearless, tireless leader too much not to defend her; even in her death.  Watching as his teeth gritted, swallowing before he rebuked your comment.

“No, I loved my mother.”

His eyes were always so expressive you thought.  Always you could catch the hint of anger or lust before his body reacted, and now you caught the sadness, before he sighed.  Deflated as he painted a different story.

“She wanted to die; even unconscious she begged me to kill her.  She would have no more wished to live as my prisoner as I would have hers; a gilded cage, is still a cage.”

And didn’t you know that, you thought furiously at him.  Forgetting the infant on your lap until she gave a wail.  Picking her up to rock her in your arms, as you calmed yourself down.  For her you thought vehemently; and not for them.  Squaring your jaw, you quipped quickly that you could guess the source of Elliana’s middle name; you just didn’t know what it was.  Obviously there was a pattern here; some sort of sick tributes to the women they had placed onto pedestals.  You were somehow being used in some putrid, vomit inducing addled attempt at worshiping these women. Your body some sort of alter to their life givers was it?

“No Pet, Elliana carries your name as her middle name. Her full name is Elliana (Y/n) Hux.”


	43. Chapter 43

To be fair, it had not been long after Ren had told you of your daughter’s full name, that he finally listened to the muffled demands coming through the wood of the door, and permitted Hux back into the room.  But that hadn't soothed the man's pride or his temperament. The speed at which the Emperor had entered spoke as much to your defences; as did where his eyes first settled.  He was worried about the safety of his children with you, and had done precious little in his actions to cover up those thoughts.  His feet leading him back to your daughters, fingers stretching to pull back the cover back from their sleeping forms. 

This time your claim on them was audibly spoken, the snarl in your voice all for him; a warning of sorts.  Becoming a timid plea as he stared stony faced at your demands for him to back off them.  They were as safe with you, as they were with them.  None of you were particularly adept as parents.  But if he wanted to make you beg, it wouldn’t work.  You were still frightened of him, but you would not permit him to draw you into another of his car and mouse games.  If he wanted you to play, it would be by your rules and not his.  No matter how much he intended to hurt you later for it, clearly young as the babies were, they would in their own way understand you were being hurt.  Did Hux understand that, and what it would mean to them if he tried?  You were not foolish enough to think the babies fully understood the intricacies of how he hurt you.  But they would grasp Ren’s refusal to stop you from hurting, should Hux decide to try.

There was no verbal answer. Just the Emperor giving you a single slow blink, drawing back his hand from the coverlet.  His face a blanc mask of emotions, just the tips of his ears reddening; standing starkly clear against his pale skin.  Either he was uncomfortable or annoyed; either one did not usually bode well for you.  He turned to sit the other side of your sleeping twins, refusing despite everything to hand their safety over to you. 

“Pet, I--”

The sound of your slap shocked you, just as much at the stinging in your palm sobered you.  Across his cheek stood an angry red imprint of your palm.  In answer to the slight opening of his mouth your body shook, ready.  You had slapped the Emperor, and as of yet he hadn’t moved to strike back.  He reached out towards you, perhaps to strike you.  Or maybe just to touch you, to stroke you like you would a frightened pet.  His voice a low murmur as he tried ineffectively to sooth your fears.

“I am not about to hurt you Pet, but at this rate you might.”

It perhaps was a grim warning to what you were about to do next.  Stupidly ignoring the sleeping twins to launch yourself over them.  Taking him to the floor with you, at the next mention of that bloody moniker, striking your head on the wall as you were vaulted off him.  The world turning first to grey and them black as you quickly lost consciousness.

When you woke it was to a very different set of surroundings.  Your clever little stunt it seemed had earnt you yet another stay in Emperor Hux’s personal medicenter.  The redhead demanding rather than asking of his lover that you remain there.  He ignored your protests that you were okay, and Ren’s that you could be checked out at home.  Insisting that a medic and specialist equipment was required to have you properly and correctly checked out.  The head injury was not something to be taken lightly, none of your actions today were to be taken lightly.  Hux was cross, and less pent up with emotions, you understood his reasonings. You were not supposed to lift the babies from the cot; let alone go throwing yourself around his bedroom like some deranged psychopath. 

He droned on ignoring Ren’s interjected comments that you understood to lecture you on your stupidity.  His barely checked patience verging on erratic instance as he again berated you like you were some small and naughty child.  And that was nothing to how he rounded on Ren as he placed both daughters back under your control.  He truly was a control freak, and all of this was taking him far out of his depth.  Ren made no issues to draw out Hux’s uncomfortableness, but neither did he try and sooth over Hux’s temper.  If Hux was uncomfortable to be put in his place, by the one person he held as his equal he was not about to discuss it in front of you; an inferior. 

Hux was not about to let go your stupid actions, and you could not fault him for being cross at you.  He was absolutely right, to chastise you for your behaviour towards the twins; but you were not interested in the risks to yourself.  For those you held him ultimately responsible for; he had pushed you down until there was no way out but forwards into the breech or death.  Time and time again death had not been an option when you had requested it, and now with dependants you were no longer in a place to ask it of him.  None of any of this would have happened if he had admitted you were a person in all of this.  Even now he had to refer to you again by a title depicting what you were to him and the court, rather than just admit you had a name. 

Clearly Hux still felt that you needed his elder and superior guidance on how you should treat your own battered body.  Giving advice to the medics before you were able to work out how to answer yourself.  He seemed he knew more about you than you wanted him to, all of your past medical history had been kept on file and clearly read by him.  Did he know just what was on official First Order records; or had he purloined old Resistance records?  Just how much of your history had come from Ren’s countless mind probes; and how much had come from other sources.  In fact in many case’s he know more than you knew about yourself.  Ironic then that it was ultimately all his fault that you had flown for him; odd that he had not predicted that happening.  Despite your obviously broken shell of a mind, it was only your physical health that he seemed to be worried about.  Ordering check after check, without considering what were the real threats to you.  Had he not grasped their insistences that was not your body that was the most severely injured; that was healing and would. 

No scar tissue was nearly as good as intact skin; it was your fragile mind that was close to being broken beyond repair.  Hux was far more correct than he intended to be when he called you insane and selfish for your actions.  You really were slowly going mad.  You felt afraid of every little thought and worse; daily you thought of a thousand scenarios where you or they ended up hurt beyond all chances of a salvaging.  But all of these were eclipsed wholly by the guilt of what you had put the tiny bodies you now lovingly held through. 

If Ren spoke the truth, they had not only felt your own anguish, but their own too. He and Hux had known you had rejected them, and worse that probably meant Eloise and Elliana did too.  To them you were the worst possible kind of monster.  You were supposed to be the one thing that nature had programmed to protect them; instead you had exposed them to countless harm.  It was hard not to weep over that too, your head constantly throbbing from the spinning thoughts and the crying. 

Hux had refused you any medication that would affect your milk and again you had to agree with him.  If you were to feed them without your milk first being filtered, then it was wholly necessary that you kept the source free of contaminates.  You would not risk fucking this up and having it taken from you; not when even He had conceded to your choice.

Your forced medical stay was to be lengthy, and tedious.  You suspected that Hux had far more to do with your confinement that the physician who claimed you needed bedrest.  Physically you felt fine, no less sore than you had been after they had given you a beating or correction.  Mentally the verbal corrections were no less disturbing to be controlled than after you had played some of their more painful games with them.  Just this time perhaps it was more kindly administered once Hux had calmed down, than other chastisements from him had been. 

He made no apologies though, he made provisions for the twins to stay with you.  Hovering over them like a deranged mother hen as you tended to them.  Rushing to check up on every hiccupping babble of noise they made, as you settled them for their first night besides you.  Sleeping on your side to watch them laid out next to one another, fast asleep on the hospital bed with you.  He was not happy to see them laid out to sleep next to you and tried to move them.  Quoting several medical journals in a vain attempt to get you to allow him to take them back to their nursery.  Promising you it was just for the night and that they would be back after their sleep.  Trying to suggest that you needed the rest as much as they did. 

It was a pointless exercise.  Bolstered by Ren’s astonishing show of support, you pushed for the smallest of victories with them.  Careful not to push Ren into an action he would consider treasonous; but given a small seed of confidence that he spoke up for you; if only when it came to his daughters.  You slept well that first night; and surprisingly so did your babies.  Nearly a full seven hours before anyone woke; and then it was you; jolted and disorientated at having slept so long.  Hux asleep in the chair next to you; as oblivious as you were that everyone had slept so long.  Ren stayed away and after revealing Hux’s weird tribute to you was more than welcome, as was your subsequent exile from the living quarters.  It made you uncomfortable; though you couldn’t understand why.  They had admitted and done far more invasive things to you; but this one left you reeling from the emotional whiplash of it all.  His time away gave you a little time to dwell on what Hux had meant by such a public declaration of your attachment to his daughter; without the force adept there to listen into your thoughts.  It also gave you no real confidence to confront the man on what he had hoped to achieve by it; was it meant in some way as an apology for you being unable to name them?   

Having your twins meant though that they both visited you daily.  Ren first to carry reed woven baskets to act as temporary cribs. Hux trying to convince you to lay them down there to sleep, rather than your bed.  Perhaps it was his cold, less emotional upbringing that made him so instant that it was dangerous to sleep with you; but it amused Ren.  Somehow you could not imagine General Organa as being so cold towards her only son.  She was too motherly a figure to the whole Resistance not to have mothered her son closer and this strangely brought you hope.  Perhaps Ren was the key to getting Hux on your side; perhaps if you were the perfect mother Ren would not allow Hux to take them from you.  

They took it in turns to fetch them other provisions. Clothing, toys, diapers, even a few bottles appeared; though one look from Ren made Hux hide them, and they never reappeared again.  Ren confiding with you later that his lover’s intentions had not been to refuse you your choices; rather to keep them open.

“All of this is very new to him Pet; he has not really known much of love.”

You had again been feeding Elliana as he spoke; Ren winding Eloise. No longer as bashful of baring yourself before him to do so now that he had shown no attempt to touch you.  Your nipples growing used to the soreness that you had battled through to regain some measure of independence around your children.  Hux seemed to have no experience of decency let alone wholesome emotions such as love; though at least with his daughters you could not doubt his devotion to them.  There was becoming less and less, of the later evenings activities that had at least kept him from your medical chamber.  Instead he would soon insist on inserting himself into your evening, doubtless fetching with him some personal trinket or another to try and excuse his imposition.  Overseeing each observation and check with the military precision he really had been born to; each medical personnel ordered to take the uttermost care with you.  Hux snarling displeased at the slight bruises left behind from both your fall and the various needle marks of blood tests.  It seemed that your safety really did at last matter to him; though probably only when he was not the one threatening it.  Hux could subjugate you, beat you and then dangle you like wounded prey in front of every power house in the First Order as bait.  A seemingly docile little doll that nobody wanted, until he possessed you and made you beautiful and desirable.  Now that the others had hurt you, you had understandably snapped under the pressure of it all.  Hux failing to see that although you had managed until now it was hard, to get your fears back under control.  They always it seemed wanted to hurt you; but now you struggled to assess who wanted to hurt you the most it was difficult to prioritise danger.

You suspected that it was more for losing your temper, that the Emperor had you placed under a strict medical guard whilst your injuries were assessed.  Various medical exams that you suspected that you didn’t really need, but he would not accede to your insistencies that you were okay.  You were too busy ensuring that you were a fit mother and caring for the girls to put up a real fight.  All the while hoping that you correctly skated a thin line between keeping a closed hold on your thoughts and a tighter hold on your babies.  Hux ordered every slight abnormality or change tested again, he was not prepared to take any chances with your safety.  Putting you through a series of tests that seemed all to be designed to keep Ren from having the upper hand in who cared for you the most; and most of them too invasive for your liking.

If he was cross at you or Ren for standing up to him; there was nothing to show for it.  No beatings or forced public displays of humiliation, not even a recompense for the slap; just an endless supply of Hux’s closeted stiffness and correctness.  An unlimited and absolute precision as he tidied up after each mess you left in caring for Eloise and Elliana.  Scowling at each unfolded onesie or blanket as though you had purposely left them to offend him, and not because you suffered the exhaustion of a new mother.  Your daily routine now an endless cycle of changes and feeds; meant you slept when they did and it wasn’t always that they slept together.  Hux seemed to needlessly insist in keeping you company in the early hours, or tirelessly pacing the room whilst you slept.  The regular tempo of his boots so familiar in their marks, that you could mark out each foot fall on the spotless floor as you sat with a baby at your breast. Refusing to look up at him as you fed them, for fear that he would take it as a personal challenge.  Already he had shown far more fascination than Ren at your motherly capabilities; the look in his eye as you breastfed was not without its own hidden threats.   

You were not stupid enough to think that he just was trying to assist you, shaking your head each time he offered to help.  Too aware of his incessant need to micromanage every part of your life; to believe he was truthful in his protests that he just wanted to let you rest.  He did not trust you with them, or rather he did not trust them in your care; regardless of his protests otherwise.     

Your outburst had not come without more severe consequences than your segregation in the medicenter.  The medical tests had eventually revealed your body was healing faster than anticipated.  The medical professional in charge of the unit, taking great pride in informing both you and Hux that you were cleared for **_all_** **_activities_**.  The shudder running your spine as you realised that by all activities he meant those he felt suitable to your station. The onus was being placed upon you again to be Hux’s whore; you were safe to open your legs again.  The physician like so many around Hux seemed to think you had chosen your station.  Like most in a more wealthy station he seemed unable to grasp why you would not have exchanged something so minor as sex for what he foolishly thought was wealth and political standing.  Perhaps if you had not have been on opposing sides it would have made sense to you too.  Neither men were ugly, not when you ignored the less than attractive personalities and failing looks, that was what people like him for attractive, the power.   

The biggest fear now was what came next when you left the sanctuary of this hospital; what happened when he managed to get you alone.  You almost wished you had been more injured than you were; or that the tests would show something. Anything that would put a spanner into the works and slow down your upcoming release back into their sole care. 

“You have been awfully quiet of late Pet.”

Your nose wrinkled in distaste.  It wasn’t that Hux taunted you in his observation that you were quiet, when he had trained you to be unobtrusive and practically silent around him.  The same couldn’t be said of his daughters, of whom he daily encouraged to make their presence known to one an all.  Their loud gurgling and smiles at him; their diminutive attempts to talk to him always met with an upturned smirk of approval from Hux.  He was true to his word that he saw their sex as far from being inferior.  It was you had to admit comforting; to hope that they were not to be permitted the same treatment as you were.      

“I don’t mean in your conversation with myself and Ren; more you are not usually this mute towards them and it concerns me.”

You had to raise a brow to that, the only answer you had intended on giving at first and meditated on his words.  He meant Elliana and Eloise. Both of them had been temporarily relinquished to their fathers; whilst you tried desperately to zone out and at least pretend to concentrate on the hollo-novel they had fetched for you.  Now it was impossible not to take offense at the insinuation that you were somehow lacking in the care you were providing for your children; that nothing was good enough.  It briefly crossed your mind that he might be right, until a flash of him walking Elliana next to some other woman flickered into your forethoughts.  You were doing nothing that he hadn’t suggested you do, clearly it was nothing to what he would do and you had had enough of the eggshells.  Internally you winced, in anticipation of the outcome when he got you alone, but it was hard to be afraid of a punishment that must have already mounted up so harsh a sentence that one more infarction couldn’t really do much more damage. 

“Are you as concerned when she is less than talkative to them.”

You meant the woman you knew he had permitted into his inner circle.  The one you had seen caring with him for her the first night you slept in his bed.  He was a good actor, you had to give him that, there were so many times when he had fooled you into thinking he might have cared.  He raised a brow; whether in warning or question you were not sure.  But you were not about to lead him into thinking you were jealous of he; whomever she was.  Instead you went back to your book; their momentary silence allowing you to have the last word.  Ignoring the burning sixth sense that wanted you to look and check if they were conversing using the Force in a bid to hide their discussion from you.  Cut off from all thoughts when a female medic knocked for admittance.

Hux permitted them, and again it made you angry.  Laid out on the tray were a series of needles, six small syringes laid out in bunches of two.  Their intention obviously meant for the twins.  Probably the necessary six week vaccinations your medical journals had warned you about.  It wasn’t that they had to have them, they would doubtless be exposed to many viruses in their travels.  But laid atop of your already existent frustrations at him was that in another attempt to do what he considered necessary for them he had excluded you.  That he would appoint the nurse to give the vaccinations now and without warning was inexcusable to you.  But what concerned you the most was the singular large syringe barrel and a much narrower but longer, needle laid out in a separate pile.  Those two needles your jittery nerves seemed most aware of.  It was very unlikely that, that solitary needle and larger cannula needle next to it were meant for them.  Far more likely was that he intended to inject you with something else, possibly another microchip, something else that would be another forced violation of the sanctity of your body. 

To her credit the nurse who had been sent, was both young and cheerful.  Her easy mannerisms meant to be likable and working well to put you at ease.  It was highly unlikely at her age and pleasant demeanour that she was employed by the Emperor as anything other than a medic for his children.  She was too approachable and far too eager to put you at ease; something Hux was letting pass.  Hux didn’t seem afraid to hand Elliana over to her, which made you suspect he had had dealings with her before.  But you were less than happy about it all and your face spoke volumes for him when he looked at you.  Why was he was so adamantly fixed on excluding you from every little choice. 

“Their vaccinations and also small locator chip for their safety.  As awful as it is there are still those who will try and steal them.”

It was hardly something that you wanted to happen to your daughters; but you did not want them branded like nerf; not like he had you.  Hux seemed to think that tagging his own children was the most natural thing in the world.  Probably it was no different to what had happened to him as a child; another legacy of an abnormal upbringing.  His father adding an electronic branding of ownership as a lacks-a-daisy way of keeping tags on where his child was.  You kept your words civil; careful not to challenge him, but the affront that he would electronically label your children as his possession was too much to you. 

“They are not animals; your highness.”

You had swung your legs from the bed and creeping slowly, you moved to slot yourself between the medical trolley containing the loaded needles and your babies.  You needed to get to the syringes in the most unthreatening manner possible; you didn’t want to make him rush to restrain you before you were able to act.  The medicines could be replaced; but you doubted that the chips were so prolifically kept in stock.  You were realistically only looking at stalling time; but that was all you could play for now.  Each step was an agonising show of control you did not feel; your back pricking with a cold drip of sweat ran your spine in an effort to hide your motives. 

“It is for their safety Pet, it won’t hurt them and it will never effect their privacy.  Look at what happened to you.”

There was nothing he could say to coax you around to his way of thinking.  By now you had reached closer; desperately trying to hold on to nonchalant thoughts in a play to keep Ren from guessing what you were about.  All thoughts of that gone as the trolley suddenly was pushed gently away from you. An invisible force pulling it towards Ren; he at least had clicked onto your motives; even if it did mean he had put a sudden halt to them. 

You had not realised how much the nurse had been hiding her fear of Ren, until he did that.  Her barely concealed squeal of panic making you jump, more so than the realisation that you had been discovered going against Hux.  Doubtless having been warned by a seemingly endless supply of tails of the Dark Jedi, from past victims in the medical wards; she was expecting more than a heavy un blinking stare at you.  Ren was better known publicly for his volatile temper and the nurse flinched ready to run, as you gathered your own muscles painfully tight in reflex.  You ran your fingers over the back of your neck; silently feeling for where your own chip should be located.  Remembering all the good it had done them in locating you when you had been missing.  It had not mattered to Hux, still he wanted to mark these as his own.  Labelling them like prized puppies in a breeding program.  You spoke swiftly; soonest said swiftest mended.  Careful to appear as though you were compliantly putting forward an angle he had not yet considered, rather than outright offering your refusal for him to brand your children.  Still feeling under the surface of your skin where the collar would have sat over your own data-chip.  There was no sign of it; obviously it had been easily removed to hide you from him when his father took you.  So seamlessly done, that you doubted the effectiveness of relying on one in your children.

His carefully worded reply was to assure you it would be used as a last resort; that it would never be used as their lone sense of protection.  But that they would be stupid if they didn’t take this precaution for their sake; all of his words spoken with the flawless precision of a master manipulator and spokesperson.   

“Hux.”

The dark eyed giant spoke to draw the Emperor’s attention away from you, and back to him.  Hux shaking his head in annoyance as Ren drew another breath to speak.  Addressing his offer to you for all he spoke to his lover.

“Pet listen.  A compromise; we place the chip in some jewellery?”

It was still a heady rush of emotions to hear Ren stand up for you the other night in the bedchamber and now he was openly negotiating between the pair of you.  You didn’t want a chip, no matter where it was placed.  It whispered loud echoes of the collar you had been locked into; to wear openly to mark you as the Emperor’s personal property.  You drew your shoulders in on themselves, holding them tightly in a sudden nostalgia at the protection you had thought that collar afforded you.  It had named you a slave, and untouchable by so many others whilst you had been locked into it.  So much had been stripped away from you with its removal and you had not even paused to consider that you missed it until now.  It was the one constant to your day.  The only thing you never had to debate on, or worry about; it was always just there and you had become too reliant on it. 

You were not about to subject your children to anything of what you had been made to feel, and damn the consequences you would speak; they were already high enough.  They were unlikely to listen, even less likely to agree to your pleas; but it would go down on record that you had disagreed with this.  Your voice trembled; you knew it had to.  Nobody told the Emperor they disagreed with him and did not pay for it. 

“No chip, just the vaccines; please.”

Hux took a sigh and you could feel the eyes of the nurse burning a hole into the floor where she stood quietly.  She was uncomfortable to be caught up in this, and she probably would have left if it didn’t risk drawing attention to her.  You couldn’t look up, or he would know just how afraid you were.  You knew you  would falter and lose the momentum in your resolve if acknowledged him and his superiority.

“As you wish Pet.”

You blinked, almost gasping as you took in an enormous gulp of air.  Genuinely shocked by the Emperor’s more than generous accordance with your wishes.  Not realising you had moved your hands to brush the front column of your neck, until you looked to where Hux was looking.  Your eyes slowly meeting in a wordless thank you for his sacrifice.  You watched as he gave the order to the nurse to forgo the data chips, and held out his hand to dispose of them in a trash compactor.  The nurse picking up the needles, whilst Hux sat you back down on the bed.  Unwrapping the chubby legs of his little girl as she lay on your lap. 

Suspicion made you painfully aware that he was just as likely to have them chipped when you were not about.  That this all could be an act, making you resolve to ensure that was not likely to happen when you were gone.  Perhaps you thought with a heavy heart full of painful hope; that Ren would help you out.  Trying to feign nonchalant indifference at it all, you assisted the nurse in the vaccinations.  Brushing aside each man, to be the first to sooth your daughters shocked cries that anyone could be so cruel as to hurt them.  Comforting first Elliana and then allowing her to be replaced by Eloise for her vaccinations; before they were returned to their cots and back to a sleepy oblivion.  Letting them sleep it off, whilst the nurse filled out the girl’s medical records.

“Just you now honey.”

In the commotion, you had forgotten all about the seventh needle and your perceived use for it.  Now as you looked at her holding it your previous fears for yourself came back.  The sharps end of the syringe was not just longer than the children’s, but slightly thicker.  You tried to think on what it contained, if there were any vaccines you hadn’t yet had forced on you and why the second much larger needle.  Stuttering your words you asked what was in the syringe, unable to hide the fear from your voice.  Aware that you probably looked as stupid as you felt panicking over a small needle.  It couldn’t be poisonous or harmful to you surely.  Hux had already assured you he wanted you around; hadn’t he?

“It’s an anaesthetic.”

The nurse spoke as though this was something you should have just instinctively known.  Stupidly reaching to try and touch you. 

“I don’t want it.”

You had spoken your quiet plea before you realised you meant it.  Curling yourself away from the needle; and stupidly hiding your face in your arms.  Moving in a definite refusal to comply with her instructions.  Her answer to your panic, was perhaps the first show of random kindness you had ever experienced from one of his workers.  Sheathing the sharps and replacing it on the tray to stroke the top of your arm. 

“It just stings a little; but it will numb the injection site for the implant.”

It wasn’t the pain that bothered you; you were far too tolerant to physical pain now.  But the shock of them finally offering you what you had wanted from the offset of this whole crazy process hit you hard.  Registering long before it did the reason for her confusion.  It wasn’t that she thought you were being unreasonable, she couldn’t understand why you were not aware what she was supposed to give you.  Whomever she was, she was most certainly not First Order trained to be this caring around you. 

You still shook your head in refusal when she offered to try again.  It was not that you wanted the risk of pregnancy, you far from wanted that; it was that you sure as hell didn’t want him making you available to him again.  That contraceptive was proof that Hux’s promise not to touch you again was another show of his inability to tell the truth around you.  It shouldn’t have surprised you that he had lied to you again; your place was so low that untruths were to be expected; you were beneath the truth.  You didn’t deserve it in his eyes.  At the end of the bed Hux took a deep sigh, and you flinched as he came closer; so sure he was about to force her to give you the injection.

“Sweetheart, it is mainly to help with the hormones.”

He had never called you that before, but you knew better to dwell on it.  it was a smokescreen to hide another cleverly laced deception.  If it was only mainly to help with the hormones; its other use was obvious.  Hux was closer, joining the nurse at the same side of the bed; the one between you and the door; if you ran you would never make it.   You whispered again your plea; begging him not to make you have it; not to put you in a position where you would need it.  Hux only listened so much before he lost his temper, bellowing at you so loudly it hurt your ears and woke the babies.

“You do need it Pet; another pregnancy could kill you!”

“Then don’t put me in that position!”

He was red faced from the yelling; the stark colour changes making his eyes appear irritated and the shadows under his eyes darker.  It was a mistake to rile him to this level of anger and you shook violently as he took straining breaths of air.   Behind you Ren moved to comfort the children; his palms splayed flat, hovering above the chest of each small child.

He was using the damned force on them to shut them up, and that made your anger peak above your fear.  You ran towards them, stopped by a pair of arms wrapped around your waist; pulling you back to the chest of the Emperor.

The nurse looked more terrified than you probably were.  You at least were used to his out bursts, and knew where it was going.  For her she was caught in the midst of a domestic; between an unknown whore and the Emperor of the known universe.  It could not bode well for her for being the only one who would witness the outcome of this argument.  The needle had been knocked over in the ruckus, and neatly she tried picking bits of it up.  Collecting it all back on a tray, before trying unobtrusively to leave; stopped when Hux demanded she stay that you would be receiving the implant. 

To her credit she shook her head, drawing in a deep breath that almost made you want to agree to the treatment just to spare her.  Her voice polite and shaky as she gave her refusal, ignoring the polite hissy fit Hux gave in answer to her refusal; reminding her to whom she was refusing.

“I don’t care who you are, your highness.  I will not perform a medical procedure on your wife that she has not consented to.”     

You had to commend the girl her bravery, for all it came from stupidity.  Any moment now Hux would have her clapped in irons and removed for daring to assume such an idiotic fact about you.  Just how many stripes would she wear for the mix up between your role as his whore, and the one she thought you had as his wife.  It was touching to think that someone had mistook you for being something more than a pleasure slave.  Such as shame she now probably risked becoming a slave herself for that comment. 

Behind you Hux gave a sigh, as the girl flitted out of the medi-chamber door.  Permitting her to go as he drew you tighter to himself.  His forehead dropping to the back of your neck, as he muttered a jibe about the inefficiency of civilian based medical staff.  Her departure leaving you alone with two predators and tightly sleeping babies.  He had lost weight; you could feel it beneath the elaborate robes he wore.  Not just the sharper angles but the well placed tailoring that hid it from you.  Now with your back to him, you were close enough to see the gauntness in his face the deeper hollows beneath his cheeks.  Was he ill, or just not eating enough; whatever it was you didn’t care.  Instead struggling to get away and stop Ren fighting against his grip on you, and the tickle of his breath as he murmured quietly into your ear.  The familiar scent of the cologne he had worn during your pregnancy permeating your nostrils and making your head spin as he clutched tight to you.

You were now sickeningly aware of the physician’s assurances you were safe to fuck now, but also of the desperation in Hux’s voice as he had screamed at you.  He was besotted enough, you hoped not to risk taking you before there was a contraceptive in place.  But as he pressed a kiss to the back of your neck your stiffened; begging him not to.  To use another one of his whores, you knew he had them.  You had seen him with one.  

“There are no whores, I haven’t touched another woman since you, and I won’t again until you come to me willingly.”     

 


	44. Chapter 44

His arms had eventually loosened their tight grip on you.  Giving you long enough for you to make the journey home from the medicenter.  Although he didn’t hold you again at home; he stayed close almost as though it was imperative he stayed as close as humanly possible to you.  Hux carrying Elliana, and you because you would not hand her over to him; Eloise.  This was the only time you had been freely allowed to carry any of your children through the palaces; and the first time you would been seen openly with him and his daughters. 

Hux lessening his strides into easy manageable steps for your smaller legs.  You were presented as a lady and not his whore.  Your day dress, as all the others had been postnatal; a simpler design though still costly.  Again, suggesting by the snug fit, that Hux had pre-planned these for you too. Each supposedly made for practicalities of breast feeding; but the skirts still floor length and flowing, cut to the expensive and elaborate Naboo designs, that Hux favoured you in.  This one not as rigid as some, but a small train kept the excess silk whispering with every click of your shoes.

You tried to contrive to walk a fraction behind the two men; their pose more domineering to your fragile confidence, than protective.  Occasionally a gloved hand pressed invasively to the small of your back to guide you into larger corridors.  One that you did not dare shrug off in public.  You couldn’t understand why there had been no punishments yet.  You had hit him, and denied him; he must be furious with you, why hadn’t there been a consequence yet for you?  Perhaps it would come when you reached the privacy of their bedchamber, you thought with a lurch.  Avoiding at all costs thinking of the nurse, you could not give Ren the ammunition he needed, to make her a part of your punishment.  

The palace was much busier by day, than you had guessed from the parties you had been forced to endure.  Servants and droids would all disappear down a different route at the first sight of you; whilst members of Hux’s First Order army, would stop and salute him.  Simply pulling smartly into attention until you had all passed.  The one or two dignitaries you passed would curtsy and greet the Emperor and then his consort, Ren.  Small bowed greetings, that soon made you realised that the wondering path back had been a deliberate detour, and that their greetings were meant to serve a deliberate purpose.

Most humans you passed, seemed to beam the disarming grin, all adults seemed to think charmed children.  Women you noticed seemed more taken with the babies than the Emperor, though you did notice that the more costly their dress and jewellery, the more likely they were to snub you and Eloise.  Recognising Elliana easily as Hux’s daughter they doubtless thought her the only twin worth paying attention.  Cooing over her ginger curls, and blue eyes whilst ignoring Eloise’s attempts at gurgled sounds. 

You did not like to see your baby so snubbed; and thankfully neither had Hux.  His chin raised as always in his regal pose, perfectly angled so that he had to look down his nose at them.  To them he would appear his usual aloof and professional self.  But you were well enough trained in his moods to notice the quick look he would give at his other daughter, and the change in his eyes that would have been enough of a warning to you.  It irritated him to see them treated unequally; but went unnoticed on them too keen to flaunt themselves as a perfect replacement for Elliana’s biological mother. 

This time you liked Hux’s irritation at them; and you hoped there would be further consequences of it.  Ensuring you did not grin triumphantly, instead keeping you face the blanc mask Hux had tutored you into precuring as you watched their interactions.  There was a miniscule sense of smug satisfaction in knowing what they did wrong.  To pay attention to his children and coo over them, was everything the doting father in him wanted these women to do; but to ignore her darker haired sibling was not.

This was to be their first introduction to the larger world of the palace they lived in, and it put you at great unease.  Soon would have to come a formal introduction, on that would include the world outside the palaces too; and with that more snubbing of Eloise.  Whilst they were tiny it would go unnoticed, but what about when they were older and tributes were fetched in for Elliana and not Eloise.

“They won’t be permitted Pet.”

Head tilted to the side, you looked up at Ren.  Anger that he had been in your head, mixed with blessed relief at knowing he spoke out for his daughter.  Leaving your thoughts and emotions in turmoil at his attempt to show he cared.  Hux looked between you both, wrinkles on his brow soothing as Ren explained your fears to the Emperor.  The man’s tone displaying anger, as annoyed at the women’s actions as you had suspected him to be.

“They would bring tributes to the wrong child, if they thought her my heir.” 

That was all sorted between them too, you realised; too painfully aware that they had cut you from another decision.  Ren brushing fingertips under your jaw bone.  You hadn’t realised how painfully your jaw had been clenched shut until he moved to rub at the join of your mandible and maxilla; tossing your head back from him as Hux stepped even closer cradling his daughter in one arm.  Kissing first her head and then Eloise’s, in a show of tenderness for you.

“I love my girls in equal measure; there will be no favourites.  This was decided long before they were born; it is not as simple as who is my first born.”

The women you had passed were so desperate to win a place at his side, that they would pretend to be a suitable mama to your daughter in the hopes of providing him a male heir.  How much longer before they were no longer yours and social dictation required their time.  What would happen when they were exposed to that nest of harpies? Would it strip them of all kindness and happiness as it had him, or would it only affect the one child who was destined for the throne.  How could he protect them from thoughts, from the inner workings of these people’s minds?   Hux had to of known the idiocy of just presenting the twins with no back story.  There would already have to of been some gossip surrounding you.  You had been seen all too often chained to the man, for you not to have been already noticed.  Echoes and muted whispers would follow you down the corridors you trapesed, the words barely unnoticeable; but the tone unpleasant at times.  Soon it became apparent, that whilst Hux had made no secret of you; it had hardly been common knowledge that Hux had been trying to conceive an heir.  That he had produced one was shocking, that he allowed his whore to do so was far worse and an insult to their sensibilities.  Clearly everything he had done to keep the pregnancy a secret had been successful and necessary. One woman even was overheard in the distance, assuring her companion that the child could not have been yours and it was appalling that he allowed her near you.

Your hackles rose at that one, and despite the threat from Hux to let her go, it was only the child in your arms that stopped you from attacking her. 

“As much as I enjoy watching you protect them, there are times when you need to allow others to speak their minds.  It will be deal with later, you’ll see Kitten.”

So there would be consequences.  You hoped it was as humiliating for her; as her treatment of you been.  Trying to read his face for any clues as to his plans for her.  Would he tell you what he had planned if you asked him?

As much as you hated having to agree with him on this one, you knew he was right.  Whilst anyone openly spoke of their feelings towards you; it would make them too easy a target to pick out, for them to do any real harm.  All those who had wanted you harmed, had behaved themselves in your presence, to avoid alerting the Emperor’s Hound.  Whilst you still wanted to claw their snobby eyes out, they were only a threat to your pride and not to your daughters.  Now, with their grandfather dead, the main threat to the babies had gone.  He thought that it was safe to bring them out of hiding, and show them off to those loyal to him, and you hoped he was right.

“I promise.”

Your eyes widened.  The Emperor of the known galaxy, had made a solemn promise to you. A woman who was little more than his pleasure slave.  All of his behaviours lately were becoming too odd to you; and it was unsettling.  He was becoming either complacent or too predictive to your thoughts, and that was something you didn’t know how to deal with.  None of these horrible people, had known before recently.  How much more of a betrayal then was to him, to learn that those who betrayed him had been those who he had foolishly trusted enough to see you heavily pregnant.  It could perhaps be seen at best, as a confident overstep of the reaches of his power.  But not surely a lack of his intelligence; how had he of all people failed to see the wider plot.  Why had he allowed them to face such a risk by allowing those vile people so close to him, and was this partly the reason why he was less keen to punish you for your slip ups.  Had messing up so badly been a humbling experience for him too?  You wished you could see better into that proud mind of his, to work out why he was behaving this way. 

You stepped back, unable to deal with this; with him.  Unsure you knew the way home; but hoping you could manage.  His words were a sickening attempt at putting you at ease; doing nothing to comfort your fears.  He was acting irrationally, he was bound to make more mistakes.  In this state, his influence could only reach so far.  Then what of when the children were older, and had to be displayed in society.  He would be better with one of those women who looked down at you, perhaps if you were honest with yourself they would be too. 

They seemed to realise at you parting, that there was to be no more discussion.  Trying to guide you towards the parts of the palace you knew better.  Refusing to acknowledge any more people’s subtle greeting as attempts to look on his daughter. 

Stopping only for one more woman, a tall blonde, who was to be afforded more than a passing glance at your daughters.  The same blonde dignitary who had left shortly before Ren had taunted Novak by fucking you.  Her face breaking into a lopsided grin as Hux allowed her to coo over both of them.  She did not go as far to request to handle them, though she did stroke at the back of Elliana’s hand.  Hux allowing her, a stranger to touch them.  Setting alarm bells ringing.

She stopped touching either child and backing off at a single vicious look of warning from you.  You knew that for her to be permitted to touch them, she was important to Hux.  But you would risk wearing stripes if she did not back off your daughters.  She seemed more amused than offended, by your actions; after all she had seen what you did, she was not scared of you.  Asking Hux a lilting question in the foreign language, you had heard him use to converse with Ren and that other women.  Squinting as you sized her silhouette up against Hux’s; trying to work out if she had the right fit to be the woman in his quarters.  Probably not; she was too tall and much too broadly built to match her. But you wished they could have said something in warning as a real threat to her; if it came to a fight she would have you too easily beaten.  Ren seemed to have disappeared, and whilst he was still far from your least favourite person; you still would have preferred to have him here.  His earlier actions and kindness of late, caused your imagination to suggest to you, ways that he would have put the woman in her place for you. 

Hux chose to reply to her, in the same language.  Excluding you from the conversation, between them both.  The discussion clearly about your babies, her long graceful fingers often gesturing to them. Scowling at Hux, he again made you feel publicly inferior again to yet another courtier. 

You hadn’t realised your frustration had caused your feet to wander, until Hux caught up with you at the door to their complex.  Adding a quick little snipe that you had been very rude in leaving him there, whilst the woman had been so graciously asking after your health. 

That had earnt him another scowl, this turning into a defensive snarl at his arrogant warning that you were being unreasonable.  Curling back your top lip, as you demanded to know who she was; and why she was so eager to see how you were doing.  Why she was bothered, if she had previously thought so little of you as to allow Ren to publicly rape you.  Going as far as to ask him if that had been what they were discussing.  

“Of course it is not!”

Your room when you arrived, had been very altered, in the small space of days you had been away.  So much so, that it was hard not to feel flattered at what was obviously meant as an attempt to please you.  Where once there was a perfect order and clearly matching sleek furnishings; now there was a room with mixed furniture and an equally as mixed purpose.  It must have killed him to have such disorder in his quarters, but intersected with your existing heavy furniture, was the essential items picked from the smaller nursery room. 

“Does it please you Pet?”

It was hard not to scowl at first at his almost juvenile attempt to seek approval from you.  Of course, it pleased you to have you children with you; though that was like asking someone if being alive pleased them.  You ignored him, pretending that Eloise and Elliana had captured your full attention.  

It was hard not to feel grateful, for what had been an insightful attempt to give you comfort; but it was also hard not to feel beholden to them too.  Hux had claimed never to have used another woman since you, and it all just added to a sickening sense of self-loathing, that you had ever caught his eye. 

 

In the days that were to follow, you were thankful for your daughters; the only good to have come from his abuse of you.  Their care so demanding, that you could lose yourself in and endless routine of feeding, bathing and diaper changes.  Smugly pleased to watch Hux on the side lines of his daughter’s care.  Watching as with immense self-control, he mostly managed to step back and avoid interfering with your plans.  Instead giving over full control of their maintenance and routine to you. 

It was not without hiccups, and if you were honest with yourself; you were to blame for many of those.  In your own way, you would watch him silently mooning after the babies, until enraged he would feel the need to take over.  His anger although controlled to mere megalomania still came from a place of fear with you; though he was learning to let go.

You didn’t know if he hated the way Ren seemed easier to slot into your routine.  The Dark-Jedi was far less abrasive in his interactions with you, and never pushed too hard for answers.  He was more gentle with you than before, though this may have been easier for him, since he could sense your emotions.  If he was manipulating you for the benefit of his daughters, then you could pay his game, for your own comfort.  He seemed to know, even before you really did, when Hux was threatening to push you too far.  Stepping in to gently bring him back into line, to sooth what would be his daughter’s distress before it hit her.

For all of this, you could tolerate Ren, but you loathed Hux and it was so hard not to feel that anger, or distress when he touched your daughters.  Your body seemed to tense up, ready to snatch them from him, when he went to touch them.  Remembering too well how little he had thought of their mother, to let go and trust him with smaller, helpless versions of yourself. 

Through their need for a protector, you had learnt enough confidence to demand them back off him.  A second of two seemed to already be too much, when you felt you had to permit him any time with them.  He tried again and again to offer assurances for their safety. Asking you how he could make it better for you, but you refused to risk yourself by answering his loaded questions.

“Believe me Pet, I am sorry. I would never treat them as I did you, nor allow another to harm them.”

Words were not ever going to make you trust him, nor where his current actions.  You weren’t sure if his need to be around them was entirely just him being a megalomaniac.  He hovered too close to you too, and you wondered if had you the skills to wrangle the truth from him, if he would admit he also mistrusted you too.  He spoke often of ways that his previous treatment of you had been wrong.  Almost making you feel sick, as he explained sometimes the reasonings behind leaving you touch starved and confused.  You had never been stupid enough to dismiss there being more than just a small hint of accidental intelligence behind his cruelty.  Now he reeled off his admissions almost daily to you.  Small confessions of his maltreatment of you, that did more to ease his guilt than to earn any hint of compassion from you.

The only thing his neglect of your emotions had done, was to teach you how to perfect his blanc stare and now you used it with expert ease whenever he began to confess his sins to you.  He offered you more understanding than you wanted of how he had manipulated you, and a horrifying insight into his understanding of the reconditioning he had put his own men through. 

The ends could never justify the means, not when the end result for him was so self serving.  Any woman could have done what he wanted you for; and he already had had those in willing abundance.  His obsession with you, had been what had led him to believe that he was doing you a favour by elevating you to the role of mother.  Never had it been harder for you to know your place in his court.  Warped and twisted as his attempts to assure you were now; the cruellest of all was that he was trying to paint a parody of a highborn lady with your dress and taught mannerisms.  At some point, he could force you from the security of his chambers, and have you walk the corridors and gardens as though you had a right to a place in his home.  Here in his presence, you were to be openly named as the maternal partner of his heirs.  But behind closed doors you dreaded to think what you were to others; how many people would laugh if you assumed that role.

“I cannot make it right for you, but I can make others treat you as you deserve; as befits your place.”      

You lost control and momentarily scowled, quickly wresting control of your face back from your emotions.  Was it that he understood your fears and sought to quell them by naming them; or to wrest control by having you admit them to him.  Either way you were not playing this game; he would not find you the naïve, little simpleton he had abused.  Blinking you pretended not to hear him.  Stripping Elliana’s clothing off for her bath, whilst feigning interest in that task and not his cheaply spoken assurances.  Utilizing every skill he had beaten into you, to be the perfect docile mute.

He looked ashamed, his eyes solemn and brimming with sincerity; for all he had casually over stepped his vows and taken a hold of your chin.  Tilting your face, to force your gaze to meet his; inadvertently caressing the underside of your lower lip with his thumb.  It was not that you believed that he would hurt them; not intentionally at least.  More that even now he lacked the control to follow his words.  His eyes darkening with each touch, the dilation of his pupils would read a different story. 

“And what is my place?  At your feet chained to your throne, or here chained to the cribs of your children?  I must paint such a pretty picture of scared obedience, what an example for your daughters.”

The anger in your voice was there, and from the set of his jaw you expected him to break with his infuriating patience.  It was not so much that you wanted his anger, as you wanted the façade of docility to end.  If he struck you, if he forced you to suck his cock or some other vile act; then it would mean you were back to knowing your place. 

“Hit me.”

It was far from the answer you expected or needed.  Shocked you clutched at your daughter, amazed that he would be so crass as to suggest you exposed your daughters to such violence.  You looked at him, realising not for the first time that this was another biproduct of his upbringing.  He had been conditioned to accept violence as the only answer to a difficult solution.  Whether it was given with a closed fist, or clothed in a velvet glove of diplomacy; he knew only to condition people through fear.   

“Go on, hit me.  Hurt me.  I deserve far worse from you.”

You would not permit yourself to sink to his level of dealing with emotions.  No way where you about to be cohered into behaving in a way he deemed acceptable this time.  A violent solution would only beget more violence.

“Haven’t you got a galaxy to go domineer?”

You shook your head in denial of how pathetic he was being, sneering as he blinked at you.  You couldn’t put up with any more of his overly cloying self-pity.  You had to get away, but the babies were too much for you to handle in one, and you were not about to leave them here.

“Ren is dealing with the Coruscant delegation.”

So that was today’s job list then was it; and how was that not more important than you three.  Hux seemed resilient to your attempts to get him to fuck off and you had duties to take care of.  You tried to do the best you could, but he seemed to want to spend the day insisting on getting himself in the way.  He insisted on still touching you, at every little opportunity.  Even now, milk stained and covered in the days dirt and baby sick; you knew he still wanted to take mastery of your body.  He was never cruel anymore in his touches; and he had not pressed for so much as a single kiss.  But his touch was still a strong reminder of his constant violations of your body.  They were simple touches; things that most people would call innocent and inconsequential; such as pulling your hair out of Eloise’s hand. Or the seemingly accidental brush of fingertips as he insisted on handing over damned supplies.  You were capable of managing, you didn’t need him to watch you, or to offer help.   

“(y/n)”

Scowling you reminded him that you hated him using your name; it was too poignant a reminder that all of that had happened to the innocent, girl you once used to be.  She may have once been you, but now she was gone.  Murdered by months of abuse, and the memory of her buried so deeply that mostly you forgot she had ever existed.  You wanted him to forget her too, to let her be buried and gone; but that was the you he seemed to cling tighter to.  He huffed as though your dislike of him using your name, was a new discovery; and though he let it drop; you could feel his frustration.

For all he controlled himself, his ire was rolling off him in searing hot waves.  Almost it heated your skin as you knelt to splash water over the pink, wiggling, bundle of baby.  Permitting yourself to pretend it was just you and her.  Losing yourself in the smell of baby powder and infant, until your subconscious was able to allow yourself to smile back at her.  Enjoying her infantile attempts to offer up wordless gurgles in reply to your innate chatter about her day.  Finding yourself laughing delightedly at her slapping hands; splashing water up onto her tiny tummy.  It was though, to be, as with most happy moments for you; short lived.  Whenever you forgot and openly displayed your enjoyment; he was always there to ground you in why you hurt so much.

“It is good to see you smile again.”

You had been so lost in the small bubble you had created of just you and your baby; that you hadn’t noticed him knelt at the other side of the baby bath; a fluffy white towel waiting for her.  One look at him, had you ducking you head back to Elliana and the water.  Scowling as his words reminded painfully of another time when he had complemented you on your smile. 

He had called you beautiful then; but had it really been that you were beautiful? Or had the relief at you wanting his touch, and the subsequent possibility that he would not be kept from yourself and his children made the awkward act so aesthetically appealing to him.  Either way you felt stupid now, and angry too.  He had manipulated you into wanting him, spent months conditioning you to misunderstand your own body; only to desert you once you had played ball.  And you like the innocent fool you were, had been naïve enough to take his manipulations as truth.

“Now you’re angry; I’m sorry Pet.  It was not my intention to upset you.”

That apology only poured engine fuel onto the already crackling heat of your anger.  You were only upset, because he had put you in this damned intangible position.  There was only so much of your insolence he would permit and you knew you should have backed down.  But like a moth to a fame, you flew straight to challenge him.  Standing to lift up Elliana, ignoring the towel Hux held out in hope for her; to press her wet naked form to your chest.  The gesture was meant to hurt him, as much as it was to show him that you didn’t need him.

If there was annoyance, he hid it well.  Trailing after you, offering to help; whilst you hunted out another towel.  You ignored him, pushing the draw closed with your hip and innocently humming as you turned from him.  It was a dangerous game you played to continually defy and deny him; but you couldn’t help but play it. As aware that the next time you defied him, could trigger his anger towards you; and a return to the old him.  Baiting him scared you, but as much as it did, you couldn’t stop yourself from doing it.  Each time you snarled at him, or outright refused to follow his advice, your body would almost tremble in anxious trepidation for his wrath.  It was masochistic almost in your drive to annoy him, as though you wanted him to hurt you just to prove that you were still alive.  

You were wrapping her in a towel, when he placed supplies next to you for her diaper; offering to get you clothing for her.  You snapped at that, telling him to back off; demanding to know why he did not trust you with her.  Flinching when he balled his hands up.  This was it, you had finally pissed him far enough that he was ready to resort to physical violence.

“You would like me to strike you wouldn’t you Pet, are you that desperate to feel something that you would put yourself at risk?”

Your reply was the bravest and most honest telling of how you felt in all of this.  Forgetting who else was in the room with you.  You were not sure if you were angry or humiliated at his suggestion that you wanted him to hurt you.  It was one thing to expect for him to behave in a set way, another for him to suggest you were trying to get him to do so. 

“Fear is not the same as other feelings for you.  You have hidden yourself under a blanket of it, you have forgotten how to feel anything else, it has numbed you to all other emotions.”

What utter and absolute crass you loved your children, that was a feeling wasn’t it?  You looked at Hux, absolutely livid with rage.  You felt anger, you felt love; you did feel more than fear.

“You love them, but you do so through fear.  This anger, it is fear of them not loving you, they adore their mother.  Let go of them and you will truly love them.”

You were at a standstill, as to what to do.  You wanted to shout at him again, to both defend yourself and attack him; and to ignore him and rise above his insult.  He lied, how could he possibly understand what you felt.  Hands twitched in a sudden desire to wreak everything, to hurt everything in your path; yourself included.  Instead your unstable hormones decided for you how you would behave, and you burst into a sudden and violent burst of tears.   

“Don’t touch me!”

Your yell, had him backing off and you adding as you put Eloise onto the bed, turning to hold your arms out for Elliana; what she had really said, and if she was also queering why he was allowing them to be seen around their whore of a mother.   Hux had at least looked guilty at you then, following you about the room breathing as though wounded.

“You are not my whore, and as I have never referred to you as one; would you be so kind as to explain where you get this foolish notion from.”

Your heart thudded at the crisp and succinct reply; this Hux you knew better.  The self-righteous, pompous bastard was someone you had dealt with, all you needed was his anger at you now to realise it was all back to normal between you both.  There was a familiar dusting of pink across his cheeks and nose; badly hidden anger you assumed.  Another of his baffling attempts to show himself the perfect parent, wasted as the pink spots darkened whilst you stared at him in shock at his audacity.  There was more to being his whore, than him outright calling you one.  This Hux might have thought himself not only above your opinion but more educated and because of that intelligent than you were.  Placing Elliana on the bed, you turned to face him, anger at his assumption that you were that stupid making you overlook your children’s need for quiet. Turning to outright challenge his assumptions that you were not inferior in intelligence to him.  Publicly you were a nameless slave; nothing but the filthy little whore chained to Hux’s throne.  A slave and worth less than the lowest citizen perhaps not his whore in name, but you knew what you where.   

“That is a lie and you know it!”

“I have never named you my whore Pet; the nurse is correct the only title I have ever given you is that of my wife.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having read through an relevant bit of the Phasma novel, I am really glad I had already finished with the story arc involving Hux's father. Anyone who hasn't read it should, it's very good. But I so want a Hux novel.


	45. Chapter 45

Of everything Emperor Hux had ever told you, or done to you; this was the one thing you struggled to accept was really happening.  None of it felt real to you; it just would not sink into your already swirling brain.  To be forced into a marriage with someone, was intrinsically impossible.  Wasn’t it? Did you not have to sign a register; a contract of sorts?  Surely you had to be there, you could not be just told after the event that it had taken place. 

The cold dread, made you want to vomit at the shock of it all.  Dousing your previously anger-sure temperament, with an icy chill that made you shiver uncontrollably.  How was this okay in his fucked up little mind?  What sort of deranged psychopath thought that by giving you a publicly acceptable title; this was any better that being seen as his pleasure slave.  At what point had he thought this was not an invasion of your dignity; how the hell, had he managed to do this without your permission?  And more to the point; how did he think it made any of his abuse of you any better?

You retched, you felt physically sick and your stomach bubbled with acid.  Burning your oesophagus as you heaved.  You were covered in sweat from a mix of chills and hot flushes; whilst around you the room swayed.  Sweat clung to you despite the temperature controlled room and for all there was a plentiful supply of air; you could not get your body to believe that you were breathing.  Clutching at the neckline of your dress, you pulled at it.  Leaving it in tatters and thick gouged blood tracks in the wake of your nails.  Even the more modestly cut neckline, felt too confining and the fabric to heavy; for all it offered protection from his eyes.  The fabric gave way to your attempt to free yourself easily, and taking a deep breath, you buckled over the now empty bed, willing yourself not to think of anything but the rush of cool oxygen through your lungs.  You placed a palm flat against your heaving chest; trying to slow the rise and fall of your chest to something slower.  Losing the battle in your panic and instead digging the same nails into your bared arms.  Pressing them deeper into the fragile skin of your forearms, in an attempt to ground yourself with pain.

The Emperor stepped forwards, ignoring all of his previously adamant refusals to touch you.  Grabbing at your wrists and folding his arms with yours to pin them to your chest.  Pulling your struggling form tight to his chest.  Your back pressed so close you could feel the flick of each muscle through the soft fabric of his chest, and sitting himself onto the floor; easily taking your weaker frame with him. 

For all his protests that he would have let you go; they were so heavily intermingled with shows of his possessiveness, that you knew better than to challenge him on that promise.  But there had been a lie of your own in never challenging him for your freedom.  You had left yourself a modicum of hope, that he would allow you to go.  Every day that you had refused to throw down the gauntlet; was a day you could secretly fool yourself into believing his lies.  You could pretend that you were choosing to stay with your children of your own evolution and not that his manipulation trapped you here with them.  There was still a smoke thick belief that you could one day get away; that there could be a rescue.  But now he had named you his wife.  If you were known to be married to him, how were you ever going to be free.  Who in the whole Galaxy, would harbour the Emperor’s wife from him? 

When you finished and recovered the breath to speak; all you could manage was a single whispered word.  Your eyebrows knitting together with confusion at his cruel actions, and the exertion of speaking.  Your muscles torn and weak from the struggle; making your body almost a mess of quivering jelly in his hold.

“Why?”

It was too much of a knee jerk action; even this long after knowing you were still in shock.  Realistically you knew didn’t really want to know why.  You meant that you wanted to know how the hell he had managed to pull this off; how it was possible to pull this off.  Surely you could not be married without your knowledge; you sure as hell had never been raped without it.  How had this happened without you knowing; when had it happened?    

If he had wanted a wife then why had he not taken one in a more conventional manner.  There were hundreds; probably thousands of women who would have willingly accepted.  Women who would have been honestly able to stand up in a white dress for him; perhaps even loved him.  Women who would have wanted him to touch them.

In his iron grasp, you tilted to look at him.  Knowing that it was a waste of time to expect anything that could be misconstrued as an acceptable human emotion from him.  But foolishly hoping that he could see the pain in your eyes, that he could possibly understand how much he was hurting you in all of this.  To his credit and perhaps he for the first time ever, he looked as sick as you felt.   Perhaps not understanding your pain, but realising that he had overstepped your wishes.

“You needed to know your place Pet.  They need to know your place. The children needed legitimising.”

It was still a shock to see him anything but controlled and confident.  Any variation on an emotion that could possibly show weakness; was so unknown to him.  So unfamiliar, that each time he showed a grasp of human feelings; you genuinely wondered if it was the first time he had felt something of that ilk.  Almost like, in so many ways he was like a small child.  One that needed an explanation to understand their actions held consequences.  To be taught to learn the difference between feigned sympathy and honest empathy. 

Were his experiences of life so warped, that he had never leant the difference between what was correct and what was right.  His three simple explanations had once seemed reasonable and correct.  Now they carried with them the weight of a noose that even he could understand.  Landing like silk around your fragile neck; the results were still like a weighted iron band around your soul.  He had already assigned to you a life sentence in captivity; but that had been as an unwilling inferior.  This was worse than the slowly leeching death; it was an absolute.  A finality to the nightmare existence that had somehow become your life.  To be married to him. Partnered to such as monster, was unbelievable and yet you were still not as surprised as you should have been.  He stood for the anthesis and annellation of basic sentient freedom, why should one more choice matter to you anymore than the previous ones he had turned aside from. 

Treacherous to each and every one of your intrinsic beliefs; he represented everything you had ever fought against. He had wiped out your kind and all who had sheltered them.  Casting their fragile bodies aside, to be burnt and buried under foot like some avenging deity.  If there was possibly anyone left who knew who you were; you were glad they could not see you now; were not here to beat witness to your last sanctity ripped from you.  Even if a single entity could speak for the Resistance still; how could you face them?  How could you explain to the innocents, that voiceless and mute as you were; that you had not chosen to defect to the winning side.

“Pet it was meant to honour you, not to,”

You cut him down.  Demanding more truths in payment for his crimes; perhaps earning them only in leu of your own.

“And Ren, does he know this; did he allow you to do this?”

You sought to reason with a man mad.  To throw at him the one thing, that might offer resistance to his maniacal plans.  Somehow you could not imagine Ren taking it easily.  Not that the Emperor Hux had chosen to marry you, but that it had been anyone but him.  For all you were a toy to the Emperor’s Hound; a play thing to amuse his lover with; Ren whole heartedly loved him.  Worshiping him, he had chosen to bind himself to this man through thick and thin.  You had been a mere gift to while away boredom and excess hours. 

For all their deceptions, they had never outright lied to you; simply refused an answer where it did not suit.  Drip fed the recourses of those tight lipped replies, you had learnt to understand more of them.  You honestly believed him, that you were never supposed to have survived the first night; just as you believed their answers now.  Even more numerous than before; they were still as precious to you; still as truthful.  What had you done, why were you so fucking special that he thought this treatment of you was an honour. 

In answer, for the first time ever, you watched Hux look sheepish. Biting his bottom lip; his face flushing.  No doubt he would still weigh up the cost of an answer.  Deciding what could be altered, or left unaltered by it.  Perhaps simply a game to him, it was urgent to you. For Ren this show of artificial hesitance was a term that he found endearing; but you found it wholly terrifying.  It was a silent admission to you, that he had done something that he didn’t find entirely sensible himself.  He knew he was acting unintelligibly and was afraid to tell you.  If he thought his actions stupid; what the hell, did Ren think about it all.

“He wanted the same terms.”

From the still firm confines of his arms, you rolled your eyes.  Of course, he had wanted the same terms.  Like a small child forbidden sweets; he could not bear to be cheated of one single drop of sweetness. The maker forbid that anyone left him out, or cut him short of what he thought he deserved.  In order to give Emperor Hux permission to take you as his wife, the great Kylo Ren had demanded that Hux had to marry him too.  Technically now the Emperor had two spouses; you and Kylo Ren.  You were under no illusions as to which one of you two, was the more important partner in this polygamous marriage.  Ren would be the primary partner spouse and you were just an addition to that relationship; something to keep him amused.  Was this known around the royal court now?  How on Naboo, would you be able to show your face.  Lord Ren, no doubt his official consort, you just a spare; a whore in disguise.  

“No Pet you misunderstand me; he wanted **all** the same terms as I had.  Technically this would be classed as a group marriage.”    

For so long, you had assumed Ren to be the lesser of the two evils; the one easier to humanise.  He had permitted you so many failings, that for all he had treated you just as cruelly; it was easier to accept his touch.  His actions had always been to obey; instigation only came much later on.  Now to hear Ren had coveted you as much as the Emperor was in itself a shock.  Easily explained away by the child who slept nearby in her crib.  Ren’s need for equal standing with Hux, was for the sake of Eloise and Elliana. 

“You need to be safe.  If anything happens to myself or Ren, it means that they cannot take them from you.  You will always have the final say on them, if we are gone.”

Your heart skipped a beat then, and from the confines of your chest sounded a little sigh.  Rushing past your lips, to burst into understanding.  He had meant to do you honour.  Though you were right none of this was for you; but for them.  In this one small act of crass malice, the ends had justified the means.  Turning to face him; you waited for him to speak first, not trusting your own voice to carry.  Too worried you would thank him.

“If I am gone you will need to rule as co-regent for them.  I will show you who can be trusted and Ren will guide you through the rest.”

You shook your head in abject denial and refusal to accept his words.  You were a traitor and a whore; you could not be expected to do any such thing.  Raised simply, you knew only how to do what you believed was right; you could not be expected to make decisions on such a level.  You barely knew how to accept how you felt most days.

“No!”

Your simple word was meet with tenderness.  Fingers brushing the sides of your cheeks, his eyes searching your face.  Weakness, you realised by his actions.  He was showing sentiment and through that weakness; he counted this the lowest he could sink for you; but it was not yet enough.  Perhaps it would never be enough. 

“I am dying Pet, not quickly; but not slowly either.  I will not survive their infancy.”

Your eyes widened in shock.  To know that your monster had an expiration date was an impossible feat; to know that you would likely outlive it was more so.  Shaking your head, you knelt and backed off from him.  Crawling backwards until your back hit the shelf of the bed, and you could properly look at him. 

He was older perhaps now, than you remembered him.  Even when faced with memories as far back as the beginning, you could not remember him looking so haggard.  Now as he permitted you to look over him, to properly study him without any fear of reprisal or misunderstanding; perhaps you could see it.  There was a paleness to his cheeks that took him beyond sallow; one that was heavily mired deeply in fear.  Tilting your head you searched for more clues, but could not as yet find anything physical.  No clues as to how long you had left under his shadow.

“How long?”

“Perhaps eight years. Nine or ten if I am lucky.”

Eight years was a long time, and yet it was nothing to the length of time your daughters would be without him.  Without the one man who had the power to shelter them from everything.  Bringing your hands to your mouth you pressed them to your lips in horror.  Dropping them after a small sigh to your vacant neck, running the tips over the memory of each loop and curve in your missing collar.  When he went, you would be thrown to the wolves.  Not by him, and not by Kylo Ren; but by everyone who had seen your collar and backed off.  Looking back at him, you met his eyes.  Hesitantly holding the pale gaze; avoiding the need to uncurl yourself and like some silken haired deer bolt in fear.  Understanding making you understand why you no longer held the collar; it had never kept you safe. 

Wrapped around your neck, it had been a pretty bauble; just as you had been to Hux.  In the end, despite the illusion of security it had given; it had offered you no more protection than the gowns you wore.  Nor had it; like your painted face, offered you anything to hide behind; just another show of smoke and mirrors to hide yourself in.  That collar had never kept you safe; he had.  Both himself and Kylo Ren had worked to keep you from harm.  As a docile and broken pet; you had been the one person it had never made sense to bare his children.  Women had looked down their noses at you, because you were worthless even for your most basic quality.  He had rendered you invisible enough to be beneath the other courtiers’ notice.  Only his father; Brendol Hux had guessed that you were becoming something more.  Most pleasure slaves once acquired; were sterilized. Doubtless it had been common to the others to assume that you were too; but Brendol would have checked that. 

So, for anyone now seeing you clutching a child, suggested that the Emperor had chosen another. Then instead of keeping the mother, handed them to you as you would a loth-cat a toy.  It had worked so well to keep you hidden from most harm simply because of the virtue of what you were.  It was the only reason wider threats had never come to mar your doorstep; he had absorbed them by virtue of how he kept you.

And now he was dying.

The monster that kept you awake at night.  The man whose mastery over you, taunted you even in your dreams; would one day be put to sleep. But what would that mean to you?  There still was no chance of escape, or retribution; just a simple understanding that one day, you would now out live your tormentor.  It offered a cold sort of comfort; one that you were unsure how to accept.  The Emperor seemed to have changed so much in his wants from you; that you had given up trying to work out why.  Instead you seemed to have worked at pushing him; trying to see just how much he had changed.  Already he had shown a patience; with both your physical and mental health that belied a gentleness you had always thought he reserved only for Ren.  Permitting you far more control than perhaps he had ever considered giving you.  Even taking risks to make you feel secure that not even Ren approved of; and one of your daughters carried your name. 

Admittedly nobody would know it was your name.  He had probably seen fit to remove all traces of you; already you knew that it was forbidden to speak of your Resistance background.  So, he had nothing to fear that anyone would guess, when the time came to pay open tribute to their mother.  Yet in the privacy of these personal quarters and alone with just them; a piece of you resided inside of your children.  In a way Hux had openly admitted to the imperial court that you were their mother; too bad that only a scant few would ever know the truth.  

That, when added to the knowledge that he was dying; left you wobbly.  Your gut still churning in confusion; making it difficult to look at your daughters in the same light.  Not that you loved them any less; just that there was no risk in loving them now that they had admitted a connection to you.  He was doing more than admitting that they were yours; he had cemented them to you.  Confirmed all the more, when he spoke again.  Looking down at you, from where he stood; confirming what you were internalising.

“Pet; I do not expect your sympathy; nor am I asking for it.  I just want you to understand I am trying to make sure that when the time comes; nobody takes your children from you.”

He could do that just as well had he permitted you to leave him with.  Taking your daughters to some far-off planet to live in isolation from him; but you were unsure that that would ever be a safe route for them now.  They carried traceable DNA that linked them to the owner of the Galactic Throne.  One simple swipe of anything they had worn or touched; and they would be outed.  Even Ren could not manage to keep them as safe as the entire First Order army.  Perhaps you thought looking at Hux, it was completely unfair, but it you who now had to make sacrifices.  It was cruel and unjust to expect it of you.  Especially given this was a situation you had not asked to be put into.  But you knew that for your children you would do anything; they mattered more than anything else.  You would adapt; you would survive.  There was nothing you would not consider if it kept your Eloise and Elianna safe; even keeping him onside.    

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little shorter than the others. There was more; but it seemed to want me to end this chapter here.


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a strange realisation that this is almost a year old now. I feel I should do something to celebrate being so diligent; not sure what though.

It had been a long time since you had last been this well dressed.  Not that the Emperor had ever permitted anything less than perfect into your wardrobe.  But this gown was more exquisite than anything he had ever placed you; Hux had done well.  Even you had to concede he had done well.   Perhaps dressing you to present you more skilfully, than he had ever been before.  A deep royal blue; and more modestly cut, for all it skimmed your curves; it was understandably quite a heavy gown to wear.  Full skirted with several underskirts, it’s long sleeves were heavily decorated in lush gold embroidery.  Your hair was pinned off your neck; displaying the open lace-covered back.  The skirts forming a small train beneath it; flowing into excessively draped lengths of silk.  The sheer skin-toned fabric woven in places with the same elaborate pattern as your dress.  The scrolled work on both fabrics, seemingly everywhere.  The pattern not that dissimilar if you looked carefully, to that on your old collar. 

It was almost as though he was presenting his queen.  Hux trying to gloss over the last two years and present you as his wife; his equal and not just some common traitorous whore. 

There had of course been countless other times, that times you had to admit that you looked beautiful.  He had always known best how to present you.  But now there was a modesty to the gowns in your collection,  that had never been there; you looked beautiful, stunning even.   The very essence of royalty and nobility. Far from the chaste, frightened little-girl.  The innocent rebel who thought she was so brave, right up until he had torn her innocence and freedom from her.   Shaping her by months of terror and abuse into a broken toy; something he wanted now to pretend was pure and whole.     

That missing collar had been an honest representation of what you were and it was odd to see yourself dressed so without it.  Wrapping your hand loosely around to the base of your neck, you twisted in the mirror trying to see yourself with it still on.  Tracing an invisible line that should have stood more prominently around your neck; whilst you continued to look at yourself in the mirror.  Shuddering as you realised; that this would be your first public event without it.  The first event where he would try and paint over what he had made you.  Worse still than that; was that he now had very different expectations of how you should behave without it.  The rules he had spent months enforcing; bullying you into believing, had now changed so drastically; that it made your stomach quiver.   Butterflies swirling; fighting against your minds poor attempts to keep calm; not to run and hide.   Looking the part of an Emperor’s wife did not make you feel any less like his prisoner or slave.   No matter how often he decried that you had ever having been his property; he had still treated you as his possession. 

Years now, of being just a mindless thing.  All up until you born his children; then you were supposed to have known your status had somehow changed.  The alterations in his behaviour, leaving you perhaps more scared and confused; than his anger and sneering pride in his self-importance ever had.  This new found freedom after so long without it, was too overwhelming to process.  Where once you would have pushed to see how far you could push the boundaries of it; now you were more reserved in your movements.  For all it was bottled up and well contained these days.  You still felt the dirty pleasure slave he had first kept you as; and honestly did not see how you could ever see yourself any differently.  Whilst he had never named you his whore; he may as well have tattooed it on you.  From how he treated you; you were surprised he never had.  Now as you choked back the anxiety of what you were about to do, you swallowed.  Sighing as you ran your fingers over your stomach; the newly flatness making you wonder how much your body had changed. 

Before you had given birth; it had been the risk of losing his children that had prevented him from touching you.  The Emperor’s shrill cry that you could have died; unveiling the truth that Brendol Hux had been told.  You thought it had been a lie that your pregnancy had been frail; not another layer of wool that they had placed over your eyes.  Another deception, that had put you in harm’s way, rather than to steer you from it; you never would have run if you had known.  If he had shared once with you how vulnerable your children were; then you would have formed a different plan.  Perhaps at least waited; rather than risk bringing them forth in a dark and dirty cave.   

Now after your stupidity and his lies; it was his supposedly staunch word and his sheer mortification of what he had done; that kept him from raping you.  Emperor Hux knowing, that one day his children could find out what sort of a man their father was; how he had treated you before he made you his wife.  Because none of this could be because he respected you personally; and it was not like his public would either.  What would happen when others began their hushed gossip; when whispered rumours of you past resurfaced.  How did he think he could possibly hush the gossip surrounding you, when he had allowed himself to treat you so badly.  Early memories of his treatment made you grimace in sympathy for both Elianna and Eloise.  For the gossip that would surround their childhood; and mar their succession to rule.  

Already you feared that others would just see you as the problem.   That after today, they would just insist that Hux’s choice of maternal partnering for his daughters’ genetics was a laughing stock.  What would happen when they were given proof of your origins and demanded you were removed. Could he not see that this was all a foolish endeavour, in his attempts to achieve your forgiveness and earn his redemption from you.   

Even with those selfish reasons; the things he claimed to want to earn from you should have instilled more confidence than before.  But you didn’t feel any braver.  There would always the fear that he would snap and just take you.  Worse than that was the knowledge that you didn’t know any more if you could stop him; if you would.  It had been too long for a body that had been conditioned to be that responsive to its needs, to then go without another’s touch.  You had never known what it was to be held and truly know that it was all going to be okay.

Whilst he had given you your children; someone to love was one answer to the limitless loneliness.  But for all you told yourself it was enough; it would never be enough.  For all you told yourself you didn’t need the touch of another; you did.  Worst still, you would never be in a position to seek it from anyone else but Emperor Hux, or Kylo Ren.       

You were still repulsed by what had been done to you; but knew Hux had been right.  You had been for so long kept balanced on the edge of abject fear, that you had truly forgotten how to feel any other emotion.  Now slowly, you were learning to love your children correctly.  Not from fear of them needing one parent who cared for them unconditionally; uncaring of what they could become.  But from the need for yourself to do so.  Accepting that it was okay to grant yourself permission, to form a bond with them.  Believing him now through his actions, that whilst he lived; no one was going to take them off you.  More so given that today whether you liked it or not; you were going to be officially presented to the galaxy as their mother. 

Elianna and Eloise were just over six months old, and they had to be presented.  Both as Emperor Hux’s named children, but Eloise as his heir.  The child that would one day take his place to rule; the small child that would grow to be their undoing. 

Knowing first hand how his court behaved towards those it deemed helpless or weak worried you. It was terrifying to think that you had to expose them to the harpies that were his court.  Months of being sat silently at his feet watching them.  All those times he had forced you to learn the skills needed to keep your emotions in check, were for once about to become useful.  He had taught you well to; to guard your thoughts and feelings from him of all people.  How to be both afraid and fuming inside; but outwardly calm and serene.  No one would know what you thought about them, and you sadly had him to thank for that.   His behaviour and ensured that you had been taught to watch for the small signs that signalled danger.  To hold yourself silently ready to act; but outwardly disinterested. 

But you were hardly dumb.  You also knew that you were defenceless without either of the two men at your side.  To hold the strings of power, and to wield them effectively.  No one waiting in that throne room would be kind to you, or Eloise and Elliana; without Hux or Ren there to witness their actions.  Left alone with the Naboo court; you held no illusions about anyone’s safety.  They would tear you to pieces and still fight over the scraps of you that were left to destroy.  Being forced to walk out there today was terrifying; more so that you would have to trust your enemy to keep you and that which you held dearest safe.  You knew it had to happen though.  If you did not make a stand today with your daughters, no one would ever recognise you as their mother.  They would be forever seen as the sole property of your husbands. 

“Are you ready love?”

You had been so engrossed in thoughts that you hadn’t even seen him enter your bedchamber.  Now it took all of your training, but you held steady and slowly, your eyes descended to the floor.  Refusing to show anger at his crass, choice of moniker for you.  Closing your lids and counting to five in your head, before opening them again to deal with him.  This time, losing the battle and flinching with an untameable instinct, as the Emperor took a hold of the crook of your elbow.  Turning you around to face him and not the mirror; as he stared in open appraisal of you. 

“You look beautiful love.”   

His head tilted, as he studied you.  Brushing the loose curls that kissed your collarbone and tilting your head to him; making you meet his heady gaze.  His eyes darkening almost to unfathomable black holes as he appraised you.  Licking his lips, as he stroked your check.  The action meant to show innocent tenderness; overshadowed by the restrained hunger in his eyes.  Once he would have followed his unspoken order to look at him, by forcing you to then kiss him.  Forcefully pressing his lips to yours and working his tongue, to coax your mouth open to his.  Leaving you shuddering, in a mix of nervous anticipation and loathing for the way your body responded to him.

Once you would have shaken too, under his touch.  Trembling as you waited for him to extract his pound of flesh; now you swallowed all traces of that nervousness and waited for him to act on his complement.  To make you offer up something in return for it.  All he did though, was to keep hold of your open gaze.  Searching your face for a clue as to how he should proceed.  As though he truly thought yourself, the master here and not he.  Waiting for you to nod and agreement and indicate you were ready; or to do something to hint at what was to come.  Refusing to let go; but also refusing to push for any more than this single touch, as he stood before you. 

“Love?”

You hadn’t realised that you had stared.  Your cheeks darkening and heating in shame, under the touch of his fingers.  You were angry, and not just with yourself.  To call you love, was an insult to your understanding of that word.  Quickly you quelled the tide of bitterness that welled in anger of the term.  Pushed aside in abject remembrance of what you worked for with him.  The love you held for your girls; eclipsing all anger and bitterness at the love he had denied you for so long. 

The patience he now had for you was infinite.  Almost as though he moved to show you he could be gentle; that he could wait.  Truly you were not ready, and you didn’t know if you ever would be ready to do any of this with him.  But it had to be done, you had to make progress.  Already you had delayed their introductions with your own ill health.  Any longer and it would look fearful, as though the Emperor had something to hide, and force him to present them without you present too.    

Without looking, he dismissed the staff who had been brought in to prepare you; their memory forgotten as you had stared desperately in the mirror.  These not his personal choice; but a mix of local women.  A strangely the occasional non-humanoid.  A careful mix of gentle people, who were picked by him and Kylo Ren.  Not for their skills, as much as their kinder nature.  Each willing to talk, and to explain their actions before they touched you.  To accept if not understand why you had to flinch when they accidently brushed against you without warning.  Or why, despite their kindly actions; you could not relax into this pampering.        

“Maker, you look stunning.  Truly you are so very beautiful.”

His voice drew you back to him and not the women leaving you.  Low and calm, it was meant to soothe and show sincerity; and not to frighten you. 

You swallowed, still waiting in silence.  Unable to trust yourself to speak just yet, unsure what you would say.  Now as much as ever; needing him to give you directions.  Your eyes again locked with his in terror.  Waiting for some guidance, as you counted the breaths it took for him to speak again.  . 

“There is nothing to fear; no right or wrong way to behave to any of them.  The unwritten laws which govern our circles do not apply to you; you are above their regulated patterns of behaviour.  You are above them all; you always have been.”

His advice was meant to settle your nerves, not to leave your stomach in butterflies at his fresh confession that you could do no wrong.  There was sincerity to that admission, there had never been before any other public event.  A brief guidance that was long over due; your body relaxing a little.  Giving up the stress that held your emotions in check.     

On its own, a single lonely tear tracked the neatly pained lines of your face.  Taking with it a line of smoky black that intersected you cleverly powdered cheeks.  Beginning to ruin the thickly applied; precise kohl, that he had ordered added be applied around your eyes.  The one part of you, that he seemed to hold more sway over his behaviour than any other part. 

Relaxed; you had begun to quiver under the heavy weight of those words.  Your body involuntarily shocking your mind into speech.  A knee jerk reaction that made you ask of him a question of your past with him; something you would have never dared to do before.

“But on Zeltros, you warned me to know my place.  You warned me to never class another as my equal.”

Your vision blurred; wet with tears.  Defocusing before slipping to trace over the line of his lips.  Following the thick; lush curve of his cupids bow to steady yourself.  Waiting as he swallowed.  Expecting for him to explain away your confusion at his lies; with a fresh layer of misdirection.  Instead shocking you, when he added honesty to his answer.

“She was a servant and you were my mistress; how could you ever be her equal.” 

Winded you reeled back to the mirror.  Searching for somewhere to sit down, finding only the bed and him between you and the place of refuge.  Your legs nearly turning to useless rubber under you; threatening to give way if you did not push past him and rest there.  Almost tripping over your skirts, until he realised your intentions, and caught you.  Holding onto you, as he sat you down on it.  Perched on the edge of your bed as you stared; eyes narrowed in suspicion and mouth agape at his latest absurdity. 

He had both looked and sounded genuinely shocked at your confusion.  At the realisation that all this time, you had thought it meant that your station was still considered inferior to her.  That he had been warning you to keep your distance; not to ensure that she kept hers from you.  Now you wondered; was what you had been?  How he referred to you, amongst others.  Not a prisoner or a pleasure slave.  Just his mistress; still his whore but at least a publicly acceptable one.

“I was your mistress?”

You felt weaker than you thought you ever would again; though this time not from panic.  If anything, there was a relieved sort of acceptance in what you were learning.  To realise that there finally were answers to be had and that your bravery had finally won one for yourself.

“Yes; Ren told you, you were not my prisoner.  Why else did Novak want you so badly; if not to hurt me?”

He was gently offering you water; so very different from his early days.  Yes, of course Ren had told you this was the case.  But like so many other things; you had dismissed it to only being true from a certain point of view.  Kylo Ren, like his master; had never thought to tell you what you were instead; just hints that you could be so much more if you wanted.  But so, afraid as you were; you had not the courage back then to demand the answer.  Nor the strength to survive the inclination to find it out.  You took the glass; swallowing a sip and holding it between your hands.  You knew you were very much pale and shaky, and when you managed to will up the strength to look at him; all you could manage was to shake your head. 

“Nothing Ren said ever made sense; and I was too afraid to ask.”

The Emperor tutted and looked confused at your report on Kylo Ren’s behaviour.  More so than the question that had been in his tone when he had spoken.  You knew him well; he wasn’t lying. His confusion you realised; was that he honestly had thought you knew.  All those months and he had not thought to check you knew what he called you as to others; to ever call you such before others.  You had not even known what he called you to himself now; until he finally told you.

Downing the glass; you wished it was something stronger.  Tempted to ask for spirts; and remembering another night you had been unwillingly sober.  Realising that, this had to be how Arabella knew who you were.  How she had known of it, to call you by name.   Because Hux had ensured you had one; and had been fond enough of you; that he spoke of you to others.  Not just anyone either; his sister had already known of you, before she had met you. 

Just how often had your name come up in conversation with others; and who?  You knew already that Arabella had known, not mistakenly thought that her brother felt some measure of fondness to you.  But you had assumed it to be something that had simply been misconstrued by her naivety of your situation.  Now your mouth dried, your heart thudded and you felt sick.  Nauseous with all it meant.  Who else knew this before you and how could it have changed matters to know that. 

“I thought he lied; I thought they all lied or where so very mistaken.”

Your reply was flat and totally toneless.  Quietly spoken in an answer you knew had honoured the truth in his answers, with your own honesty.  Numb with your own stupidity, and the pain it had caused.  Ren had told you that his Emperor loved you; and you had assumed it to be another little game.  Now you understood the truth in his words; the Emperor had loved you for so long; but just had not known how to.  For all there was a river of emotion waiting once this sunk in; you were still numb and would be for days.  You had thought Ren lied; you had thought he lied about a good many things; such as your Emperor caring for you.  That too seemed to have been disproved as a fallacy. 

In answer, he knelt at your feet; the gesture no longer lost to mournful misunderstanding.  Watching as he risked dirtying his perfect, unsullied white suit on the wooden floor before you.  Bringing his laurel clad tresses closer to yours.  His hair a riot of burnished reds and golds; held in place by precious metal band; as he leant to press his forehead to yours.  A deep breath, followed by deafening silence as you waited for him to speak. 

Already you had learnt that the Emperor could sense your thoughts.  Whether through his own hidden and uncontrolled ability or leeched of Lord Ren’s; you knew now he could when he chose to read them.  No matter how roughly accurate the information garnered was.  Just as much as his natural intuition, seemed to tell him how you were feeling about them.  Years spent as a master tactician had taught him the skills he had used on you; first how to break you, and then to mould you.  At first you had thought this his only skill; now you understood that the force bond with Ren meant he could sense your feelings on his own.  He only ever needed Ren to sift through and tell him a clarified version of your thoughts.  Shuddering you waited for more from him.  Unsure why you were unable to push him away, to free yourself from the hands that slid to cup your wrists and hold them loosely on your lap. 

For everything that had changed, you knew that he still kept up these seemingly innocuous touches.  You also knew that if you ever told him to stop them; he would now cease to give you them.  A lot of it was just his personality; his breeding.  Something that had he been another, you would have shrugged off as innocent over familiarisation with you.  But for he didn’t really know he was doing it, and you in all honesty were not completely sure you wanted him to stop it; it was his past treatment of you that made it still nefarious. 

“I won’t force you, nobody touches you until you are ready.”

You laughed.  Not the happy laugh that he had called beautiful; but a cloying emotional strangling of wants and needs.  Perhaps you were scornful of it, but admittedly an underlying part of you would accept his tough.  The pieces of you that had never quite learnt to be lonely were still desperate to be held.  To accept his lies that it was all okay; that together you could make it so.  But deeper down, your pragmatic self; knew that it was never going to be okay.  He could never make things right and if he could; you knew you could never learn the forgiveness to fully accept him.  You truly were a by-product of his own toxic nurturing; a broken, little doll.  One that still ached to be touched, for all you feared you never would be again.  Angry that somehow you could not permit him to do so; no matter how patiently he waited for you. 

“No kitten, if you cannot ever come willingly then no one will touch you.  My actions were deplorable, I thought I knew better.”

He spoke too directly this time of your fear, for it not to have somehow come from Ren.  The thoughts that precisely understood; that you looked to the door.  Waiting for the knight to enter; surprised that he did not.  Hux was totally vehement in that assumption that this touch of you now, was somehow different to those he had made in pursuit of his sexual advances.  Just as convinced of that; you realised as he was sure that would come to him.  Your sudden increased disgust at him making you wonder what gave him that confidence.  Was it that Ren had predicted you would; or was this all a part of his training for you.  Was he waiting for the point as which your will collapsed under you, and he was there ready to scoop up the pieces.  To revel in your failure as he took back what he considered already his.  Did you honestly want to risk that for a sense of belonging; why were you so weak that your children were not enough.

“I have something for you.”

You almost rolled your eyes at his sickening attempt to change the subject.  Brushing your fingers under your eyes, before you had to suffer him trying to do that for you too. 

As aware as he was, that no matter how unsettled you were; today had to happen one way or another.  It was up to you if you wanted to look scared and half mad in attendance as their recognised mother.  Or if you wanted, to wait in the background as an unknown.  None of this could happen; for them you could do tolerant, your daughters would need you.  For all you were not sure how to proceed in this world; you would not leave them to do it alone.

Hux shifted his position, still kneeling; for all he searched for something hidden in the breast of his tunic.  His fabric choice today a deep green; almost turned to black in the lower light shadows and folds.  The colour dark; but contrasting with both his hair.  Gold embroidery stitched over the collar and cuffs.  The design a copy of the scroll work, and leaves on his laurel leafed coronet.  The same you noticed as the pattern on yours; the colour of your dress lighter than his; but the fabrics and decorations the same.  Shocking you with your understanding of the intention behind it all.  A simple trick he had played before, but only then between you and Ren.  

“You want to present us as a matching pair.”

You blinked slowly; drawing back instinctively to protect yourself.  Tensing as you realised you had spoken your thoughts aloud.  Waiting for him to either mock you for your stupidly timed assumption that he would ever want to present you so.  Or for him to chastise you for speaking out of turn, before he could explain his gift.  Slowly feeling foolish, at having assumed something so lofty for yourself.

His answer was first to place the bag he had pulled from his pocket besides you.  A thick silk bag, the fabric the same red as the First order emblem.  The chord a thick gold braiding, that held the large container closed.  Its contents simultaneously possibly; an unknown curse or a precious gift.   All at once dangerous and protective; possibly both when you discovered its contents.    

“Intelligent and intuitive as always, to my wishes.  Yes, love I wish to display you as mine.”

First, he caught your face in his hand.  The leather warm and supple as he cupped your burning cheek in the palm of his hand.  Tilting you to look at him; his smile watery; but genuine in its attempts to reward your misstep.  You had not always been this intuitive; more that you had feared to act wrongly.  What gave rise to him believing that you had ever acquired that ability now.  What made him class you so highly and so lowly at the same time.  Perhaps he mistook the warmth in your cheek as embarrassment, rather than fury?  Somehow your thought not, more that he understood you were angry but not as to why.  Eyes alive with fire; you looked up at him.  Wondering how someone this intelligent could be so little educated in women; or was it just that his education had only ever taught him of willing ones.  A shuffling from one of the cot beds in your room, reminded you to keep your anger in check.  The only two reasons in the whole known galaxy; as to why you had to appear unified. 

Pushing to stand; you slid past him.  The quietly cooing child, making you smile instantly at her recognition of you.  Pleased that at least someone would know you for you; and not for this farce.

“What will you tell them; when the time comes?”

Three deeply measured strides and he was once more at your side.  His chest tilted to your back; leaning over to touch your daughter; catching one midnight black curl, on the dark leather of his finger tip.

“What would you have her know; the truth will eventually surface.  Your General knew that as much as her beloved Son; also carried the burden of shame.”

Shame you thought.  Awash with more of it, that you could not allow to surface for fear that it would drown you.  Leaving you to flounder until reborn to something you were not; nor could ever be.  Unsure how to, but aware that like your fear it too had to go; and as unsure how to do it too.  Starting by lifting her from the cot; her dress a simpler copy of your own.  White and gold; it was soft but carried the same pattern. 

“Is she to appear yours or mine then?”

You held the child out to him at arms length; assessing Hux as he took her.  His touch of her as always completely secure for all he kept watching you.  Approaching with caution to take her from you; greeting her with a kiss that set her little body wriggling; her eyes focusing on him as he bent to repeat the action.

“She is both yours and mine; Ren’s too.”

It had not been quite the answer you had wanted; but his actions still pulled at your heart strings.  A gurgled laugh in answer to his playfulness with her.  Her own actions fully accepting and trusting of her father.  Biting your lip as another body joined the already overcrowded bedroom. 

“But she prefers her mother; they both do.”

The smile that you gave then was genuine; watching as the tall knight scooped his other daughter from their shared bed.  This one awake; but quiet and solemn.  Her gaze on meeting Ren less animated; her eyes perhaps not as merry as her sibling’s; for all she was settled and happy.

“Are they still refusing to sleep apart?”

You nodded at Ren; adding that it was what they wanted so was easier.  His laxer approach with you at first; now proven correct.  The Emperor watching your interactions intently, for all he claimed to be unenvious of it; and edge to his eyes that suggested that he knew how it felt now to be left out.  Explaining to Ren with an ease and confidence that you just could not summon around Hux; no matter how hard you tried.  Accepting one, then the other child to hold them briefly on your hips and kiss them in greeting; whilst both men routed out carriers.  Chattering away to them and wondering for how much longer this would be possible.  Their size and weight was not a problem yet; more that they wriggled with a fierce need to be free and exploring.  Permitting one, and then the other to be taken from you and laid in their carriers and placed on the bed to wait.  Almost forgetting Hux’s supposed gift until he lifted it to you, hand outstretched in a peace offering that you didn’t quite dare to accept.

“It is nothing like your collar; maker alone I never want to make that mistake again.  I was a fool to believe that a woman could not be my equal and my bedpartner.”

You raised your brow; accepting the container as much as the shocked news that this was another apology.  This one completely stunning you in its suddenness and sincerity.  Allowing him now to hand over the container, for all you had to wait also for him to open if for you. 

“It’s a crown?”

It wasn’t really a crown; more a less rigid copy of the leaves in his hair and balanced on Ren’s head too; another show of you being a matching set.  Your question less redundant when Hux answered and applied it to the context in which it had been meant.

“It is simply an effective show of status; meant for those stupid and crass enough to mistakenly believe themselves above you.”    


	47. Chapter 47

To say you trembled as you entered the courtyard garden, was a vast and understated assessment of how fearful you were of what was to happen.  You were again terrified of the unknown; and had barely slept the night before from worry.  Only this time it was not just of him; but of everyone else; the pack of Vornskrs that he kept as his courtiers.  Whilst the Emperor had kept you as his pet, you had been at best invisible; at worst beneath their concerns. He and Ren had stood as the shield that barred all others from access to you.  Here as he led you to a seat at his hip, silently adding a gloved hand set to the small of your back; you were exposed.  You now stood as your own shield.  The one that also had to protect the babies at the Emperor’s side.  Each one of them carried into the room by your husbands; each man carrying a basket apiece.  Ren fussing over Eloise before leaning to scoop her up and hand her over to her mama.  Giving over to you once of the few things that would keep your focus, and give you the bravery to stay.  The gesture clear to Hux and yourself; for all Eloise’s darker curls might leave others confused.  She was both something to focus your attentions on; as much as she was to be here to announced as his heir.  Kylo was in his own way making sure that you knew your place; and those that were to come. 

You wanted him to know your thanks. But the bottomless weight in your stomach held you back from doing so.  Afraid that if you opened your mouth to speak, the only thing to come out would be vomit.  Only lightening a little when she woke and you lent forwards to coo over her and managed a small smile at her wriggling body. 

For all Hux had oddly decided to have you seated in place whilst it was quiet; it had only really facilitated you being physically able to walk into the room.  Dreading the arrival of more people, feeling too exposed for all you were more covered than you ever had been before.  The dress simultaneously too hot and too cold on your oversensitive skin, wanting to bolt and hide; for all you knew this was not an option.  Those children carried DNA that could never hide what they were, they would always be either a weapon or a bargaining chip to so many.  This was their safest place.  Their fathers would ensure their safety, then come adulthood they would have the best education possible.  Not just in politics and books; they would both be trained in survival techniques and battle prowess.  Hux would not let their sex choose their educational subjects, he was too intelligent for that.

How you had ever managed to walk into these chambers, you would never fully understand.  Even collared and leashed, your legs had always trembled like a new born colt; the act of sinking to your knees had always been a welcome action.  Permitting your legs to let go, and you to make yourself smaller; harmless.

“I can do this.”

You did not realize you had whispered those words aloud, until a hand grasped yours; drawing your attention back to Kylo Ren.  In answer Lord Ren simply tilted his head, and ensured that for a moment he met your gaze.  The slow blink that followed, cat-like in its intended message of comradery.  The deliberate gaze subtle enough to offer support without being too much too pushy, or dismissive of your feelings.  Nothing that would affect your brittle control on the fearful tears that where only a breath away. 

A small smile lit his amber flecked eyes if not his lips.  The easier warmth you found there setting making it easier to remember why you were here.  These early few years were too precious and the time too short.  You would have to swallow your fears and useless or not stand at guard with the men you hated. 

“You’ll do well, and if you’re struggling we will know.”

You looked over at the other man.  His face showing the last vestiges of the kindness that would be wiped from it for his public.  Kylo Ren’s warning meant that he would probably be in your head and therefor both men would know of any distress.  His invasion of your thoughts was not as worrisome or as unwelcome as it once would have been.  Somehow the truce between you and Kylo Ren was not pulled as tightly sprung as it was with Hux.  You were too valuable as a mother to his daughters and you knew he meant no betrayal by his monitoring.  Just perhaps that to the brunette reading your thoughts and feeling came so naturally to him, that unlike than his redheaded lover it came as easily as breathing did.  Kylo Ren struggled to keep himself from your thoughts; but today at least it was welcome and understood.  Neither man needing to add that he would remove you from the situation; you knew from instructions and coaxing to get you here, neither man most definitely did not hold his self a slave to the protocol they set others.

“I will do my best your highness, my lord.”  

You took a deep breath to ground yourself as you turned from them.  Correcting your posture and trying to appear confident, as you turned to face Elianna.  Hux leaning over to stroke your face as your back arched down to her and cup it.  Tilting your cheek to bring your gaze back to him.  The action catching you unaware in its tenderness; drawing your attention to his eyes as he spoke sincerely in his encouragement of you. 

“You will do better than well, your behavior at public events has always been impeccable.”

You wished you felt one tenth as confident in yourself as he looked. Your mouth dry as you took a sip of the provided water, wishing you could instead beg for spirits to steady your nerves.  Hux’s mouth twisting into the half-smirked smile; the only one he ever seemed to manage.  His eyes lowering to satisfied slits as he altered the set of his chin; tilting his face to one side.  The action displaying his pride and content that you were here sat at his side.  Making your own eyes answer his; wide in pure shock.  This was another of his small confessions, another ounce of praise delivered too late to matter.  The damage already done.  Hammered in to your very soul by hours spent kneeling silently at his feet like a dog.  Your behavior always impeccable, because of how he had silenced you with shame and terror.  Held you too fearful of ever doing or saying anything in case it was a mistake or an affront to him.  Hardly daring to breath without his permission; never even looking at him without an express order to do so.  Frightened to act independently for fear of the pain and the humiliation that would follow.  

You were supposedly free now; so he had told you.  Above social dictations, unable to make a mistake due to your status.  Incapable apparently, despite the hundreds of pervious hours spent to the contrary of doing wrong.  Then if that was the case and you were no longer his slave, then why did you leave your face in his hand.  The warmth of his glove soothing even for the familiarity of its owner; for the reminder of its owner’s power. 

Was it fear of that, that made you lick the water from your parched lips, or an ingrained need to please him?  Because surely you could not have just permitted him to comfort you; the idea was pure anathema to your very soul.  It would be like water to a raging fire; destructive in its path to soothe. 

Blinking, you quickly pulled your face back from his touch.  Reclaiming it and all sense from him, shuddering as you reminded yourself why you had to be detached.  Ignoring the hurt look he shot you.  Holding it in your own triumph for one millisecond, before he blinked and too looked away.  Removing all that hurt, all that disappointment and any further traces of weaknesses from his expressive eyes.  Replacing them with an emotionless, stone cold stare of authority.  An assurance that he again was master here, before giving the order to Ren to begin with admittances.  The giant guard moving aside to stand at your back.  A single brush of the force to the nape of your spine; manipulated to feel like fingers, as he permitted the guards to allow the first few guests to slowly trickle in. 

More than one woman sneering at you almost as though an afterthought, as she greeted the Emperor and his daughters.  Either too confused at who you were; or else remembering entirely who you were. Of course, none of the permitted guests were at all interested in you.  Their attentions solely for the Emperor and child perched on his lap.  Her minutely curled ringlets clearly proclaiming her by colour alone as clearly his, and most who cared; clearly mistaking her for his heir.  Many bringing uninvitedly with them small boys.  Their meanings obvious to you and judging from Emperor Hux’s scowl his too.  Most disregarded her sister who now slept curled up on your lap.  Her infantile snores showing a carelessness and level of innocent trust, that only seemed permitted to the infantile.  Her cubby hands clutching at nothing in her sleep; long fingers curling and uncurling as she dreamed.  Her life so carefree, so different to what yours had become.

The morning dragged on and shuffling in your seat, you tried to lessen the ache in your shoulders and the tightness in your breasts that indicated that you would soon need to excuse yourself to feed your daughters.  Reminding yourself again at each snubbed guest’s departure and the occasional touch of Emperor Hux’s hand to you for arm; that the three of you would have to learn to work together.  Doing your best to appear docile to him, with each brush of his fingers; refusing to let the revulsion at this charade show.    

Whilst with one of your husbands that partnership was proving a lot easier since he seemed to have accepted your needs.  The other, the instigator of all of this; he was much harder to accept.  Rigid and straight, he was always impeccable and never yielding.  Even proven wrong in his actions, he still knew only how to take.  He always wanted to over power and defeat you, even in this he wished that he was still in charge.  For all he now claimed you were his equal; you felt anything but on equal footing with him.     

Slowly the large courtyard became more crowded, both with people and their tributes. Hux’s face still an unreadable mask as each placed a small tribute on a table either side of the dais.  Both Elianna and Eloise placed where people could see them, but not necessarily reach them.  Many men and women approaching, and looking hopeful.  But none yet called closer than the edges of the dais set up in the courtyard.  The open sky above, doing little to make you feel less closeted with this many courtiers.  But the sentiment behind the actions a little more understood; he was trying.  But the garden was packed.  Though an invitation to the event, was not an automatic agreement that a guest had access to the babies.  Many individuals tried to approach, but few were given permission.  So far just a dark haired younger man, and the tall blonde.  Both you gathered by their willingness to come closer without begging permission first were those who were on the list of those who should be trusted.     

Still no one asked to touch them, even though there were guards everywhere.  Perhaps more numerous and visible than there would have been before, but they were not where you put your trust.  The Emperor had told you, that you were to be shown who was to be trusted and who was not.  In your very unvaried opinion; the only known member of his court that you would have trusted your children with, had so far reserved only glances at her nieces when she believed others where not looking.  Her tall slight frame, and red hair easily distinguishing her from the other guests as she flitted through the crowds.  An unknown lady next to her, older and hawk-like in her unabashed stares at the contents of the dais.  So alike in looks to her companion, but yet so different in perceived temperament from the kind Arabella; you were familiar to. 

She seemed almost guilty to be in the company of the older woman she stood with.  Yet every attempt you made to catch her eye, and show her some comradery failed.  Your gaze simply sliding off her awareness, like sheets of snow off a mountain.  You wished she would come here.  You had not seen Arabella since the day you had fled from her house.  Perhaps she had long since brushed aside any guilty thoughts that Hux may have considered her a contributing factor as to why you had fled, and now she held only resentment towards you.  You hoped not, she had been the only friendly face in your short life in the royal court.  You wondered about how honestly spoken the warnings about being above societies rules were, and not just because everything in you wanted to rush over to her, and demand she stop ignoring you.  To grab her hand and pull her over to you; to excitedly hand over your children to their aunt.  To show the one person in the room that it would matter to you, how proud you were of them. 

But you were too afraid that her refusal to look at you was personal.  Perhaps you thought with a sinking hopelessness; she blamed you for their fragile and dangerous first weeks.  For fleeing and putting them in the danger they faced at the hands of her father; the man her brother had then killed for you.  Perhaps by wanting her father dead; by forcing her brother to kill him, she now hated you.  That her refusal to permit you to meet her eyes was a message to stay away; that you would only embarrass yourself to speak to her.  Swallowing you stayed still, the slowly waking child upon your lap.  A sea of nameless faces, wedged between you both.  A thick curtain that your nerves would not let you pass through.  Too many haughty looks, would laugh at seeing you fail.  Scowls that already made you wish for the safety of Hux’s personal quarters.  The anonymity of being hidden away from his court; the peace you couldn’t escape to anymore.

The sudden gurgle made you smile.  Eloise waking again, content for now, though you were not; the need to feed her would provide a welcome escape; whilst also asserting your position to the crowd before you.  Turning to the Emperor, his gaze automatically attentive; ignoring the man who was trying to talk to him.  Simply raising one eyebrow in question at realizing you were fidgeting, leaning towards you in a show of his total attention to you.

“She needs feeding.”

Your whispered statement drew of all things a smile from the man next to you.  Dismissing the man greeting him, as he moved to assist you to stand; ignoring the tribute he was trying to bestow upon Elianna.  The Emperor of all the known galaxy delighted in seeing you attentive to his offspring; and very happy to let the crowd before him know that he cared.  Earning you a few black looks from those who’s stares you couldn’t avoid.  Kylo Ren escorting you from the dais, as you kept the child on your shoulder.  Heading off into a small side room that had already been prepared for this purpose, to if you required it provide you with some dignity. 

It was once of a set of small cosy rooms to the side for visitors.  This one set up to anticipate your possible needs, by attendants and droids.  Cool and quiet enough to be refreshing, and comforting; Hux had in this chosen well.  There were refreshments already placed out, and changing facilities; you had to grudgingly admit that he was trying to be a good husband and father.  Too bad it was only possible because of the guilt that went before hand, the need to gloss over everything.  Still you reminded yourself, you had to let go; to move on wards towards a new future, resentment was something you had already decided to let go of; for your children’s sakes.

You were about to unfasten the clever closures to the front of the top of your dress, designed to assist you with feeding; when what you thought was a slight rustling sound, that made you scowl.  The scuttling sound oddly out of place, and almost insectoid in its rhythm.  Strange you thought; you had not seen so much as fly in the pristine rooms, nothing that would suggest what you thought you had heard.   Noises where not uncommon, you were just being overly sensitive as always.  There was nothing there; there couldn’t be.  It was just too improbable to be possible.  You were simply too highly strung still, too defensive still from the audience you were being subjected to.

Instead you freed your breast.  Thankful for the thoughtful way your gowns had be designed to easily free yourself for such acts.  Humming a small tune as much to sooth you as Eloise, whilst she expertly latched on to your breast.  The tune one you had loved in your own childhood, one of the few parts of your life before that you could safely share with your children.  It was not like Resistance sympathies would go down well with the Emperor, or Lord Ren.  Her simple needs were a welcome release on some of the pressure outside.  Her actions simpler and grounding you in what was important now; smiling as she took her fill from you.  Allowing yourself to lay back into the corner of the settee you were perched on.  Curling your feet under you and closing your eyes just for a moment; relaxing if only for a second.

The subsequent brush of something across the back of your neck then had you letting forth the loudest scream you had ever made in your life.  Screaming and leaping forwards, twisting your ankle in the process; but managing to leap forwards and cradle Eloise tighter to you.  A spray of something agonizingly red hot searing your back, and brining you to your knees prematurely as you leapt.  Followed closely by the scent of burnt flesh and a scalding-hot pain so bad it eclipsed everything else.  The door to the courtyard not so much springing open, as almost blown off its hinges.  Revealing both a frantic Kylo Ren and exposing yourself to a fraction of the courtyard. 

“Where the fuck is it?”

You looked behind you, both horrified at the large insectoid that was instantly force-thrown to the wall.  The pressure stunning it to stillness, long enough for Kylo Ren to cleave it in two with his sabre, as Hux entered the room. 

“Did it get you too?”

You swiveled your head towards the Emperor knelt down to you.  His worried visage matched completely in intensity by that of his sister at his side.  Both wholly unabashed in their show of concern to you.  Her bending over, rather than kneeling.  Holding firmly onto Elliana and looming taller over you.  Both desperate to ensure you were okay, and you noticed; shielding you from the gawkers behind.  Her voice cracking.  Vocal chords straining, almost breaking; with an icy horror at what was happening.

“Tidge I watched her; I haven’t left her side, I don’t understand how she has managed.”

“Enough Arabella; now is not the time.”

The sharply cut order for her to shush, made you sluggishly suspect something else was wrong.  Horrified that in all of this you had been too shocked, to pay any attention to the infant in your arms.  Suddenly aware that she was almost too lethargic in your arms and that Hux was already taking you from her.  Leaving Kylo Ren to deal with a completely shell-shocked you, unable to register any panic that your husband was running down the corridor with your daughter.  Or that the knight was carrying you in exactly the same direction as Emperor Hux.  His pace no less hurried as he instructed Arabella to wait in his quarters and not to let Elliana out of her sight.

It all felt surreally calm to you.  Your mind unable to comprehend the worries of your body.  Kylo Ren staying besides your gurney only long enough to hand over a description of the creature that had stung you.  Turning you over and laying you down, before leaving you.  Your limbs heavy and languid as you laid out face down on a bed.  Your breathing like your heart rate, slow and unhurried as the lead medic took charge.  Ordering the dress cut from you back, and demanding that Kylo Ren fetch her the creature. 

“This will hurt I’m sorry.”

You turned to look up at the nurse reaching to offer you comfort.  Your hand in hers, the grip loose, and the sensation of skin to skin contact not entirely as realistic as you thought it should be.  The nurse though you noted with an oldened sense of relief, was same one that had refused to give you the implanted contraceptive.   Her face a tangled mess of winced concern and grimace as she turned to look at your back.  Making you shrug and slowly stumble over the words; the effort you made to speak more to comfort her than for anything else.   

“I can’t feel a thing.”

She answered with a frown that barely lasted a second before she sprang into action.  Yelling for a tank to be readies and then above your head shot the medic tipping water on your back a look of pure panic.  Letting go and reaching into a draw.  Suddenly everyone in the room rushing; moving to a smoothly alarmed pace of urgency.  A burning sting to your neck, followed without warning by an urgent need to sleep.  Letting the still cognitive parts of your brain, know that you had been given something to make you lose consciousness.  Her last words as your eyelids closed, was a clipped command to alert the Emperor; and a warning to someone else to hurry.

When you woke it was to a thick, drowning rush of worry.  Every emotion you now knew you should have felt in the side room suddenly welling up inside of you until it choked you and caught on your breath.  Fighting the tangling weight of a lone sheet; desperate to be free of them.

“She’s alive pet.  Eloise is in a bacta tank, still undergoing treatment but she is stable and will recover.  Ren and Arabella are guarding Elliana.”

The Emperor Hux spoke without apparent emotions; or the rich Coruscanti accent he usually favored.  Quick to reassure you; to hand over enough to stop you from panicking.  His face though, anything but emotionless; too alive with both concern and relief.  His eyes showed a sadness.  Tinged thickly with concern; and absolute exhaustion.  Making you realize he was tired and far more than he normally was.  There was no stupid suggestion from him, that you stay in bed and rest; or that that was what the medics would have preferred. 

Emperor Hux wordlessly untangling you from the mess of fabric.  Half carrying you, as he helped you over to a faintly-blue illuminated bacta tank.  This one smaller than an adults’, made to look more like an incubator.  The contents that of your unconscious precious baby.  Dark curls moving in the currents of air bubbles.  Floating completely naked and laid on her back.  Fingers and toes twitching as they curled and uncurled; arms and legs crossed to her fetal position as she lay suspended in the nutrient rich; healing bacta.

Maker this was too much to bear.  She was tiny and fragile enough; without the oxygen mask practically swallowing her face.  The thick ugly ribbed tubing, connecting to a compartment to the side that led off to a unit reading her vitals.  The displays meaning nothing to you as you knelt and pressed your hands to the transparasteel walls.  A pain inside you cutting deep and making you gasp as you felt your heart wrenched out and split.  Sobbing as you ground your teeth together.  The scream of frustration caught in your throat, as you scowled at the unfairness of it all. 

“She is under an artificial sleep.  She is going to be completely okay; we were able to synthesize the antivenom and perfect the serum using your own antibodies.  She was touched by much less than you were; she is almost ready to wake.”

His arm had wrapped your waist, but you hadn’t really noticed his imposition.  Too engrossed in the unnaturally still child, to care that he was man handling you.  Eyes wide, stinging with heated unshed tears as you fought to breathe and both speak at the same time.  Wishing that you could reach into the transparasteel cabinet and hold her.  To cradle her to your chest and hold her skin to skin with you.  The grip behind you tight as he spoke into your ear.  His voice reassuring; and oddly calming in this time of panic; the reassurance that he too would do everything to help her and unlike you could. 

 “There will be scarring.  We could have kept you in the treatment longer, but we thought you would rather know your children were safe.”

His breath was warm on the back of your spine as he spoke.  Touching at where he could reach through the open laces of the medical gown.  His fingers brushing along the top opening, the passage of them no longer as smoothly run as it once would have been. 

You shook your head at his absurdity.  You had been unconscious; you wouldn’t have known much less cared you reasoned. This was another decision taken away from you, though this time perhaps for all the correct reasons.  Before mentally slapping yourself, cross for even considering there should have been an option.  If anything had happened, if she had woken before you; you would never have forgiven him.  Shaking your head again, you blinked.  Another set of angry tracts joining the dozens that had already streaked your face, and fallen somewhere on the floor beneath your chin. 

“How long has it been?”

Your throat hurt to speak.  The chords inside your throat dusty and dry as you spoke.  Cracking into a high pitched whine, that heavily suggested you needed water, though you wouldn’t dream of being distracted from the bacta tank long enough to look for some.  

“Almost two cycles. It was I who ordered that you be permitted to wake sooner than you should.  There are skin grafts to be completed, it will hurt at times Pet; but this is better to know she is safe.  I think?”

“You think my looks matter to me, more than she does?”

You spat out the words.  Each one falling like leaded venom to hang in the space between you both.  The Emperor allowing you to express your fear through your anger at him.  Twisting both to better look at him and to free yourself from his grasp.  Heartbroken that he thought after all of this time you would care so little for her.  That at a time like this, he was discussing your superficial imperfections; assuming that how you looked even mattered to you anymore.  When you knew his concerns were all about him.  It was for his benefit and pleasure that his wife had to look attractive and unblemished.  Angry enough to let it overshadow your concerns, you turned to look at him.  Caught completely by the hurt and questionable look, he shot you in return.

He had seemed so sure when he had spoken.  So commanding in how he had touched you; that you had not considered even for one iota of a second that he too was afraid and unsure.  That he honestly was regretting that he had had to make a decision like this for you.  His arms were still on you, but now his man handling seemed a little more permissible.  Especially when you realised he was afraid for his daughter; that he was trying to take comfort in being touched.  That he was in need of the reassurance.

 “Before I woke; did you know that she would?”

An icy weight was germinating inside of you.  Your brittle calmness threatening to give way to hysteria.  Stretched too taught; like brittle glass spread out on turbulent waters; unable to hold true and steady in its for.  He nodded.  A slow dip of his head as he closed his eyes and sighed deeply.  Drawing breath and calmness to steady himself to speak again.  Opening his eyes to peer down over your shoulder at you.

“We knew she would wake pet, but not if you would.  Your injuries are far more sever; more toxins were absorbed.  I thought again that I had lost you.”

“I risked death again; because of you?”

Your voice had become a breathless whisper of unimaginable anguish.  You had face death so many times, that one more shouldn’t have mattered; that by now you were beyond its threatened horrors; and unbreakable.

But you were not.  Fragile still for all he had put you through; your body gave once more over to tears.  Coupled with a numb coldness and shaking that you couldn’t shake.  The Emperor cradling you in his arms, and bringing you back to sit over his lap.  Ignoring your feeble pushes to hold you to his chest; refusing to heed your fight to free yourself and tucking you under his chin.  His hands clasping at you, though completely chaste and devoid of ulterior motive.

“No (y/n) do not fight me.  I will not hurt you; nor will I allow another to.  You need this.  Pretend I am someone else.  A friend, or lover gone by; even Ren if he is your preference; anyone.  But right here and now you need to be held; you need a physical presence for comfort.”

Perhaps it was for the use of your name that you stopped.  The shock that the rarely used moniker instilled in you.  But you would be lying; it was as much for familiarity as anything else.  To know that he had always chased down and hurt those who did this to you; that the punishment for whomever caused this would be dealt.  His voice soothing as he cradled you, and allowed you to flop over him.  Sobbing until your head hurt, and your face was a mass of tears.  Aware that if you asked he would tell you who had caused your daughter to lie there in that tank.  But also aware you were too tired; that he would not sit idlily and hold you if the culprit was still at large.  Your breathing slowing to an exhausted half sleep of calmness as you lay there.  Still angry; but far less afraid.  Your grudges less aimed at him as you spoke; teeth grinding together and eyes alive with fire and brimstone laced fury.

“Whoever did this had better still be alive.”

 The ginger’s brows knitted together.  Hesitant, but puzzled enough to allow you to press against him enough to look him square on in the face.  His grip on you looser, but still keeping you close to him.

“She is pet.”

Your lips pulled together to a straight line of determination.  Tears gone and replaced by something else.  Your request the first you had ever openly made of him; for all both of you knew it as a demand.  Swallowing and looking him squarely in the eye, before turning your stared back to the bacta tank.  Your words to him though they were made for her.  Spitting your words, letting them fall weighted and heated like sparks of molten iron. 

“I want her dead.”


	48. Chapter 48

You woke groggy, and head aching.  But strangely warmer than expected; to say that you had fallen asleep on the floor still being clutched tight to the Emperor.  In the night; someone had laid a cover over your back.  Not the paper-thin blankets of the medi centre; but a thick luxuriously velvet-soft throw taken from your own rooms.  Beneath you Emperor Hux slept on.  Unaware that you were waking, long defined arms wrapping tighter around your waist.  Mumbling as he pulled your chest against him.  The blanket slipping further down your back as he moved to keep you close to him.  Your cheek pressed back against his chest; soft, vulnerable skin wrinkled from the rougher and now creased material.  With each inhale and exhale shifting and scratching against the starched fabrics. 

The disorientation that you felt on waking; was then equally filled with the added frustration that you were helpless to do anything but wait and see what happed in your absence.  How you had dozed off given the concern you felt for your daughter; you were not quite sure.  But to your everlasting mortification; you had and now guilt would let you do nothing short of punish yourself for it.  Worse still, it had been a heavy, deep sort of sleep.  One that made you instantly suspect that Kylo had had a deliberate hand in making you partake of your reluctantly-needed rest.  His well-meant wishes to see you stop your exhausted crying; not at all what you wanted. 

You of course lacked the medical experience to know what to do; or to understand what might have happened during your oblivion.  But you wanted at least to be there should she wake and need her mother, otherwise you were powerless, again useless.  Cross that Kylo had decided your rest was more pressing than your wishes, you twisted your body.  Keeping within the confines of Emperor Hux’s tight grasp; but trying to move.  Resenting the hold, but not really wanting him to wake and risk him shattering your small world just yet. But also, so very reluctant to disturb what you knew could have been a long night for him.  Why you were suddenly so concerned with not waking him; you didn’t actually know.  Perhaps it was just the conditioning; you’d had enough of it for it to count as the main reasoning.  Because it sure as hell wasn’t you told yourself with a bitter smile, because you didn’t want to disturb his rest.  He didn’t deserve any peace after all the chaos he had caused.  Had this of been anyone else’s baby then this wouldn’t have happened; the risks would have been minimal. 

Still you had to admit he made for a pretty picture when sleeping.  Not at all the monster he could be awake and so very far removed from his fussy appearance.  He was so much gentler when at rest, almost human to look at.  Gently you touched at his uneven stubble, the hairs far softer than you would have imagined.  Even in his presence you had yet to see him unshaven or this unkempt.  It stalled you a moment, until you remembered that even if you did find it intriguing to see him so vulnerable, he would be less than pleased to be woken.  After a few futile chances on trying to subtly escape his hold, you gave up trying to hide what you were doing from him.  Finding in the end it was seemingly impossible to turn over, without risking waking him up.  It seemed though, that Hux would sleepily allow you to turn gently in his arms, so long as you stopped trying to flee them.  The Emperor mumbling a string of broken sentences and undiscernible unconscious words as he clung to you.  Eyes fluttering, then instead of waking fell back to his position of rest, seemingly sinking deeper into the rhythmical sounds of his sleep.  His half waking though had given you enough space to move a little.  Angling your chest to the other side, so that you could tilt your head over to look towards the bacta tank. 

Half asleep it took your drowsy sleep filled eyes, a moment too long to focus on the tank; or to accept what you were seeing.  Your stomach flipping as you registered that it was now empty of your child.  Worse there was no sign of her in the room.  Weak and shaky with already over-fought nerves you pushed.  This time rougher and less co-ordinated to escape from the Emperor Hux’s grip, desperate to stand up and uncaring of his possible temperament.  Outright waking him up, as you managed to turn your back to him.  His arms still tight on you, ignoring the tremor in your own legs, as you began readying yourself to stand.  Cross that Hux had not woken to her removal and that now he was not letting go of you to find your baby.  If anything, he seemed hell bent on gripping you tighter to him.  Refusing to let you stand, for all he had at least permitted you to turn, and to face the oncoming Ren.  Fighting him all the more to run to Ren; to ask him what was happening.  Almost as though his first act on waking was to permit you to face his husband; but still to refuse you freedom from his own touch. 

“She’s here.”

Ren had had her to thickly swaddled in his cloak for you to realise what he was handing you.  But now you did as he knelt to you.  Sighing loudly at her alertness, you felt almost giddy with relief.  Mouth agape in relief, as Kylo Ren bent over to hand her down to you; smiling as she gurgled at your reunion. 

Cooing at her, you pressed Eloise closer to you.  Kissing her delicately furrowing brow as she chattered to you, smiling back at your own grin.  Ignoring the tang of bacta that still clung heavily to her and the snuffling noises of complaint she gave; you repeated the kiss.  This time on her little mouth and cheek.  Instead of dwelling on your worry, reaching past to inhale the delicate baby smells that sat under it.  Smiling as you clutched her once more to your chest.  Not entirely caring enough to notice that the man behind you had shifted his position near to your back.  No tensing this time, as he moved to look closer at his daughter.  His chest warm where it sat pressed against the bared flesh, but careful not to rub against the bandages and dressings still applied there.  His own arms reaching around you to brush at her cheek.  Her little mouth moving in wordless and unfathomable baby chatter; greeting her father as much as her mother. 

“She has just been realised little-pet.  I had attempted to wake you both as soon as she was removed.  But it took you longer than expected to come around from your sleep.”

The realisation there was honesty in Ren’s admission.  Also, that it had not been you alone whom he had used the Force to sedate; he had forced both of you to sleep and not Hux.  Though it was wrongly done, it was only though of so that you would be better rested for when your baby was released back into your care.  Sighing, your tummy flipped at his latest actions.  Not in anger that you might have felt, but in surrender to the confusion you did feel because of his attempt at a kindness.  A part of you knew that you should have been afforded the night’s worry.  It angered you that they had woken you from drug induced sleep, only for Ren to decide to use his mind tricks to force you to sleep.  But that he had also forced Hux too; that spoke more of his care that you were at peace, rather than his need to control your grief.  He had simply decided that you had most likely suffered enough.      

“See little-pet, she is absolutely fine.  No residual effects at all.”

Hux’s voice was quiet as it plucked you from your conflicted thoughts.  But deep and rough from sleep, as he spoke gently.  Soothingly assuaging you from your muted concerns, as his breath stroked against your ear.  The closeness was oddly intimate and caring without it being sexual.  

It set shivers to run down your back at having such a moment.  One you would have never thought to have again with the man whom had so badly betrayed your trust before.  Chilling further the skin where the surgical gown lay free of his chest and open to the elements.  Raised flesh shivering not at the cold, but at something else; something you were too quick to defensively put aside.  There was more assurance for you in his tone, though not of his child; but his humanity, a weakness maybe that you could accept.  He was far less self-confident than you would have expected from a man who held total knowledge and control of the known galaxy.  Summarising quickly that there was possibly too much of his own shaky relief in his voice.  His own humble thanks that his daughter had pulled through and from the looks of it completely unscathed. He had been hiding his own worry from you last night and that that may have been why Ren had left you both to sleep.  He too then had been concerned; for all he had displayed only confidence, for your sake.

“No, your highness.  Just hunger.”

You offered him an even tone of acceptance in return for his show of humanity.  For the care he had for your daughter; permitting him to think he had kept his secret just this once, as your reached to your neck.  Hux working with nimble fingers, to help you to unfasten the fasteners there.  To without touching you, aid in freeing yourself from the medical gown.  

You had anticipated from the gurgled mewls, that the hunger cry would come next.  So when she did give into her hunger, you were ready for her.  Strangely aware as she latched on to your breast, that this soon would end.  They were approaching an age where they would soon need other foods, and not just their mother’s milk.  It was uneasy, but one day you would not need to factor at all as their food source.  Let alone as the main producer of it.  It would be sad when that day came, but also a relief.  You would be free of the appreciative looks the Emperor would send your way as you fed them. 

For all he had not touched you, it was easy enough to see his eyes darkening to see you provide for his children.  The pleasure he took when you fulfilled the role he had promised you for so long that you would, was something he refused to hide from anyone.  How much more pleased with you, would he be then when he too could be seen publicly as their care-giver and not just as their sire? 

Finished, he offered no offer before he began to aid you in regaining your modesty.  Not even asking if you would like him to tie the back of your top closed again.  Deftly skimming the straps and redressing you, hiding your breasts from his gaze once more.  Offering too should you wish for him to take her from you, to assist you to move from the floor.

You shook your head.  Loathed to be parted from her, but also aware that really, he too would like to hold her; and that realistically it was at his leisure you held her now and not him.  Unlike yourself, you were certain that the affection he showed your daughters was genuine.  He too would wish to hold her; to assure himself of her full health.  Already she had grown restless and despite a full stomach; was having trouble permitting herself to sleep.  Wriggling in your arms, and searching the room, almost as though she looked for someone.    

“She’s looking for her sister. Elliana did not sleep as well as usual last night.  It seems that they dislike being parted from one another.”

The Knight’s words were soft maybe that was why you had stood and now looked expectantly at the man who had insisted in helping you to your feet.  Your daughter’s other father assisting as best he could whilst also rising himself, waiting as you cradled Eloise to your chest. It made perfect sense that they would miss one another when too far apart.   They had never really been parted, tonight must have been hard on them; it was time to go.   

“I want to go home then now.”

It was one of the few times you had ever made a demand and the first you had made with such confidence.  Forgetting for a moment too long, that you were not supposed to give orders here; or that Eloise might need to be here a little longer.  Quivering a little when there was no answer and fear genuinely suggesting that you had overstepped the mark.  Shocked when instead Emperor Hux smiled, nodding as he took your arm.  Leading you from the room as though your request had been the most natural thing in the world.  Kylo Ren smirking as he followed in what seemed to be honest pleasure.  Confusing you all the more as nervously you watched his fingers twitch and his arm jerk as though to touch you.  Unsure of his intention and flinching.  Glad when he lowered his hands and returned them loosely to his side.  Dropping in besides you to take guard at the opposite side to Hux.  Neither man talking, just guiding you home through wide corridors; dappled with watery light and low-lit wall-lanterns.  The windows of which when you stopped to look, opened onto thin morning light.  The Naboo sunlight burning away the last of the nights watery mists and leaving what would be as always be, a promising day of weather.  One which given your yawn you hoped you would be able to wait until later on to see.

“The pain medication in your system makes you sleepy?”

At Emperor Hux’s words you startled; and not just that you had been lost to your own thoughts. You were worried that the men might have permitted you to breast feed whilst there was a potentially dangerous drug in your system.  Cross that they had stupidly stood by whilst you risked their daughter; cross that he had assumed you should know.  He must have guessed that, or else Ren had sensed it and conveyed your worry to him, for his next words were more soothing.  A hand slowly caressing your back where it was safe to do so.   

“The drug is inserted straight into your nervous system.  Do you honestly think be cruel enough to risk to my daughter’s health?”    

Now you felt a fool for your paranoia and shook your head.  Guilty that you had jumped to the worst-case scenario again, but not above a refusing a verbal answer to his question.  Cheeks darkening to a warm blush as you at least admitted to yourself that that had been an unthought through conclusion to jump to.  You had better intelligence to think that.  Especially when neither man had permitted you to take a single risk that would put your daughters at risk.  You, absolutely had been worth risking; but them no.  They were you had to admit grudgingly, as precious to those men as they were to you.  It was a silly idea, one that did justice to no one; especially to you.

A deep sigh and he suggested you move on.  Accepting your gesture of agreement, without also having forced an apology from you too.  One that you knew was hypocritical to withhold from them. It was wrong not to lead by your own actions.  If you expected apologies and remorse from them; surely you should also give the same in return.  This was supposed to be a partnership after all; your morals should be lessened, even for them.

It was far better to be back than you realised and with the exception of the slender redhead holding your other daughter, home was exactly as you expected it to be.  The small area of the palace you could hide in.  The one bit of Naboo that permitted you space to forget the outside world; to forget the freedoms you had been forsaken to have for so long.  Now with the spectre stood that before you; frozen in place as you too stared back; it all came back to haunt you.  The guilt and terror you had faced when you had chosen to take those freedoms for yourself, all brought back to face you now in the form of the Emperor’s older sister.  The one person who despite Hux’s cruelty and your background; had shown you absolute and unconditional kindness in her treatment of you.  If you were honest, the one person you had forgotten about when you had chosen to try and run away.

She looked shocked, and beyond weary.  Your guilt at that pushing aside the excitement you thought you would have felt at finally being able to show your children off to their aunt.  It seemed foolish to introduce them to a woman they clearly knew well, stupid to do anything else but mumble an apology. The single word escaping your lips before your eyes dropped to the floor. 

“Do you realise how worried I was (y/n), I thought you were dead!  If you wanted off Arkanis, if you wanted away from him; if I was too reminiscent of him you could have said.  I would have arranged bloody passage for you!”

She would have too you realised.  In her anger, she was so like her brother; expect there was something maternal almost in her chastisement of her.  Plus this time you were aware that you had earnt this telling off and owed it to her; no owed it to both of you, to accept it.  Weakly you trembled; truly disappointed at your bodies reaction to her and allowed Ren to take Eloise off you.  Knowing full well as she handed over Elliana, that she was cross; but not about to hurt you.  Both men slinking off to leave you alone with just Arabella.  The woman shaking, but with indignation. Jaw set and mouth opening to continue, before she stopped and then suddenly reached forwards.  Lunging at you and pulling you towards her, holding you against her and ignoring the mess your tears made of her dress as you sobbed into it.

“I’m sorry (y/n), I shouldn’t have shouted; not given everything else.”

Her kindness made it harder to bear and so you seemed to sob all the more heavily for it.  Loud wails and thick gasping breaths of air which wracked your frame.  Jerking as you heaved for breath and control, trying to at least manage more than the word sorry.  Shushed back to wordless tears when she stroked your head and led you to sit on a nearby couch.  Just sitting there and waiting until you could cry no more; and then still waiting for you to speak first.

“I shouldn’t have run; I didn’t plan to.  I’m sorry. It was never from you though, it was from him.”

She sighed first, not from weariness you thought but from relief that she had caused no harm to you.  Continuing to stroke your head as you wept, the action soothing.  Her behaviour more that of a caregiver as she let you cry on; encouraging you to ‘let it all out.’  Perhaps you wondered, how she had treated her younger brother when she had discovered him. 

“We knew my father threatened you and suspected my mother too.  But you were so delicate; so vulnerable that it seemed the right thing to keep their plans from you.  Now I can see it was wrong; you should have been told; I should have let him explain to you.”

Rubbing at your nose you sat up and looked at her.  Aware your face like her dress was now a mess of tangled hair, tears and snot.  Sniffing as you frowned, realising now the reason his visits had been to see his sister and not for you.  Wondering in how much, he deferred to his older sibling.  Realising that you had mattered that much to him, that he had tried to accept that another might know better for you when he did not.  Accepting that whilst it was all wrong, all so convoluted with deceit and terrified captivity; that maybe he had tried at the end to put it right.

“What made you run? Why didn’t you come to me?”

Her voice was quieter and less full of angered aggression and so you spoke. Glad to be at last able to speak of it all.  Explaining as best that you could the happenings the night before.  Fresh tears falling as you admitted the painful truth, that you had left because he had rejected you.  Explaining the actions of the morning had been caused when he had removed your collar, that what was to follow had been a tangle of confusion and duty.

“I didn’t know what else to do.  Even now there is so much guilt from him; from everyone that I don’t know how to feel.  It’s just a mess Arabella.”

“I swear I will kill him.  No, I’ll kill the pair of them.”

She almost hissed in indignation. Her words now lively and flippant, and her threat was very believable for all there was a touch of sarcasm to it.  Back to the woman you knew better, making you almost manage a smile at her indignant huff.  Wondering what Hux would make of the words that where likely to come. Especially when she added that she had warned him not to approach you alone and her reasonings why.

“It was to spare you any confusion; to allow you to make up your mind.  The plan was for him to start afresh with you all, a crass action I realise.  But I knew that for all his protests that you could go; he wouldn’t ever let you.  So, the plan was for him to step back and slowly court you.  To behave as a respectable suitor should have and not to leave you feeling forced.”

You could understand that now and whilst it was too late to alter your actions; being told of the plan helped.  It made you feel included.  It was easy to accept that keeping you from knowing how fragile your pregnancy was, was meant as an absolute act of kindness from her.  Anyone else and you would have believed they held a secret agenda for you; but Arabella had nothing to gain in her actions towards you.  Her suggestion for her brother to proceed with caution was not in any way meant to trap you and she would certainly have let you go had you of asked.  She had always acted in kindness; a kindness that in the end you had totally abused. 

Slowly you nodded, dipping your head as you accepted her words; apologising once more.  Receiving a scowl and an amused order for you to stop apologising; that it was too late she had already forgiven you.  Silence then sat between you.  Not a thick deafening quiet that you would drown in, but the noiseless space of companionship.  Slowly relaxing until you allowed an exited energy to simmer in the bottom of your stomach, twiddling your fingers until you grew brave enough to speak the words.

“I have two daughters.”

The small grin played with the corners of your mouth, twisting it as you shyly looked up towards her.  Arabella meeting your smile with one of her own, raising an eyebrow to you as she accepted your game.

“Two beautiful little princesses as I understand.”

Elated at her acceptance that you begin again, you bounded from the couch.  A spring in your step as you led her into the nursery that adjoined your bedroom.  Presenting her one then the other of your daughters, as Hux and Ren looked on in almost open puzzlement at your mock introduction.  Arabella openly cooing and praising your daughters whilst sleepily they slept on in their cot.  Tiny-little hands that entwined together in a way that made your heart sing.  It was perfect; or as close as perfect as anything could have been right now.  Everything so innocent and so very unlike everything else that had been permitted to happen in these four walls. 

You grinned.  It seemed understood by all that this, these two were something good; that the introduction was yours to command.  Even if it had been done before, no one stopped to shatter the spell and finally there something for you in all of this.  As for the first time ever Hux stepped back and let you lead the room in conversation.  Only intervening when there was the announcement form a protocol droid, that a medic had arrived to look at your back.

It was the same nurse who had refused you treatment who had come to look at you.  Nervously she held onto a small medical bag.  Her voice displaying more confidence than it had been before when she demanded that you be left alone.  Her previous treatment of you, easy to accept.  Allowing her to give you the assistance to enter your bedchamber.  Waiting mutely but obediently for her instructions whilst she busied herself with unpacking bandages.  Flinching when she pulled a large syringe and needle from a hard-box.  Staring at it in unreasonable terror as two more smaller ones were removed from the same box.

It was harder now to accept her instruction. Breathing deeply to calm yourself so that you could permit yourself to lay down.  Even when she added that it was just what you had had been given before in the medicentre.  Her eyes rolling when you asked in a small and frightened voice what they were for.  Huffing as though you were being difficult and not just frightened. 

“Each one is a concentrate.  One of your body’s own repair cells, the other a mix of bacta the largest one is a spinal-analgesic.”

In no way was she unkind.  But in no way was she overly pleasant to you either; almost as though she felt you wasted her time.  She must then have been confident of her place to talk to you so.  Her actions showing that of a busy nurse being stalled as you breathed slowly and deeply.  Jumping when a receptor numbing cream was dropped over a piece of your back, less so when she covered so it would have time to work.  Taking the time to carefully explain as she began injecting, which syringe she was using and what it contained.  Muttering that she would feel a whole lot safer doing a spinal injection with you restrained.  Then frowning when you flinched at the word and sat suddenly up holding your hands up, breathing rapidly and asking her to give you a moment.  Assuring her before she could add a question to her worried look, that you would be fine.  Then at a remembrance of the handmaiden who had struck you; added in a kindly voice that you wouldn’t tell the Emperor.  But keeping to yourself that you knew all too well how it felt to be terrified of the man.  Her flippant reply that it was Commander Ren that scared her, not the Emperor made your tilt your head and study her. 

“I have instructions from him, that your wishes are to be followed above everyone else; on pain of death.  So, it is he who I answer too.”

It was years since Kylo Ren had been a Commander; not since you had newly passed the rank of cadet within the Resistance.  His title was officially Supreme Leader of the First Order’s Forces; a military title of absolute command that was meant to equal the combined civilian title of Emperor.  To hear another person, speak of him as Commander was puzzling, but it was quickly pushed aside at the suggestion that you proceed with the analgesic before the last one was to wear off.  Listening as she spoke her thoughts aloud.

“Or perhaps you, since you are the one I was selected to care for.”

Your brow furrowed at that.  Waiting until she had removed the syringe and was re-dressing your back before you spoke.  Questioning that what you hear was correct.

“My wishes?”

She hummed an answer.  Taping down a bacta-filled dressing and reaching for another as shocked you asked for clarification.  Tilting your head so that you could watch her; to check for any deception or misunderstandings.  You knew he said you had freedom; but you also knew he only half meant it.  Already he had tried to give you a contraceptive, why would they willingly employ a nurse who was answerable only to your wishes.

“Even above the Emperor?”

She nodded at your incredulous question and so you flopped forwards.  A strange feeling suffusing you as you thought over it all.  Of course, Kylo had always been far more accepting; but that Hux would let him have the upper hand in anything was strange; puzzling.  Accepting her hand to sit up when she did, frowning at a mark on her arm; asking offhandedly what it was.  Assuming it was a clan tattoo, or just a piece of body art, not the answer she gave; carefully enunciating each word to remove any disrespect or general feeling from it.

“It is my prison tattoo, I suppose the least of what you think I probably deserve for picking the wrong side in a war.  But I wouldn’t expect a sheltered Lady like yourself to know anything about that.”


	49. Chapter 49

What you wanted to ask the Nurse then, was which of the marks she would class as your worst; which she would accept. All that Hux had in inadvertently done had placed marks upon on your body, some were visible as scars; others hidden deep in the recesses of your mind. But whichever you looked to, there were your marks; his treatment of yourself could be classed as your very own branding. Hux had moulded your entire being to match his punishment for you; creating the perfect prison. Was the one she was treating enough to show you lived in one? Or where the ones you held deeper; the ones that went unseen by everyone a better choice?

She spoke as though you could not possibly know anything of the cruelty she had faced, all the while unknowing of just how worse it could be. The Emperor’s wife was not the highborn lady she had assumed she would have to be to marry him. But you could not summon even anger to correct her. Instead holding yourself still, shame clamping your tongue quiet. Waiting until she had packed up and thanking her with such wide and solemn eyes, that she stopped and frowned at you. Her farewell and promise to come tomorrow to check up on your back, much more kindly spoken.  Returned with a thin smile from yourself; whilst internally your guts nosily churned in protest at the possibility of another of your kind knowing what you had succumbed to. The horror and the shame, of having to admit to someone else that you had become the Emperor’s whore.

In the Resistance you had been nothing, just a simple foot soldier. Your final task being that of protection of the General; Leia Organa as she lay in her hospital bed. To this day, you could still remember the day Ren had killed her; almost as clearly as you could remember the day you thought you had attempted to meet your death. You had volunteered to die on your terms; just as you had volunteered to stay to guard General Organa of your own evolution. Instead you had been kept alive on their terms. Would your nurse be able to comprehend that? Would she have been the first to whom might have listened to your version of events and not just accepted that you had whored yourself out, to escape Oovo four.

Her passing left you no less quiet or stilled. Your mind replaying her actions towards yourself, as much as you also tried to work out what Hux had had to gain in permitting her freedom, in exchange for your care. She truly had not cared to listen to his orders, and likely relished refusing the commands of a god-emperor. But still you had to question what she had been told of you; how much of his shame the Emperor would have permitted an inferior to see. This nurse had been the first of your kind you had seen: let alone spoken to in so long. Not since Hux had made you debase yourself in exchanged for a few lesser sentences had you seen another member of the former Resistance.

“Pet?”

Raising your head from its lowered position, you looked over at the man hovering in the door way. Pale eyes studying you intently for an answer. Watching you rub your face and take a moment before you would allow yourself to look at him once more. Sighing deeply as you met his eyes once more, doing nothing to hide your own guilt and confusion at the Nurses exchange with you. The Emperor’s simply growing in open concern at you, as at a loss to words, you waited for the right ones to come. The ones that would best fit what you felt right now.  

There was some of contrition and worry evident when he chose another name to address you. This one just as generic, but somehow more personal and fitting than your own. The Emperor’s thoughts easy enough for you to read from his face. You knew he was concerned that something had been amiss with your dressing change and had come to check up on you. You also knew that he had no intentions of letting himself enter the room; not unless you invited him in. Or unless you drove him to enough worry that he would forget all of his promises and storm in.

“Darling?”

It should anger you that he was trying to coax you to speak, instead of leaving you alone. But clearly, he was doing his uttermost to keep trying to be so very gentle with you; caring almost. Unwilling to let his emotions win and ignore your preferences to being left alone; but unable to walk away from you. He too felt uneasy, he had guessed something was wrong; and that worried him. Perhaps then you should therefore have put his mind at rest; rather than lower your head. Twiddling with your thumbs as he gave in to his need to be closer and entered the room.

“You gave me a Resistance nurse.”

Your voice was quiet as a mouse; and yet the weight behind it carried to him; your fingers of both hands wrapped around the opposite forearms. Nails pressing down into the flesh, the pain giving you the focus you needed to find the strength to drive away the tears that wanted to fall. Your beloved Resistance was no more; and it had been an age since you had been a part of it. Now your cheeks were white, not with shock but with weariness; the effort it cost you to speak that word. Now, just as you had thought he could do nothing more to shake you; he pulled a final ace out of his sleeve. Just as you had been growing more accepting of his involvement in your life too.

“Pet look at me, _please_.”

His barely audible please was a show of weakness; one that you could not accept right now. He was not supposed to be the vulnerable one in any of this. He was the aggressor; you were the bloody victim. You snarled at his weakness, your chin raised in defiance to him. The anger that you needed so suddenly attainable in your abject shame.

“Why?!”

He flinched, whilst in answer you took a breath. His gesture so out of place that whereas once it would have shocked you to silence; or made the kinder you stop. Now it only served as fuel for your ceaseless fire. The words falling from your mouth far calmer. So more matter of fact now than your usually over emotional self. Your face turned to the floor, unable to look at him; too scared to look at him.

“So that you can ask if I was humiliated to have her treat me? Or if she suspects that your wife is Resistance trash too, does she know that you raped me?”

His feet shifted; almost as though he had balked at your words. It was then that you realised how your spoken words had hit him. This altercation was the first time in so long that you had challenged him, that you had been anything of your former self. The very first when you had finally managed to talk of what he had done to you, without feeling sickened. Your protest was almost a reedy whisper of disgraced submission to the truth that he had tried to care this time. And perhaps the first time you had admitted it to yourself that he had raped you; and not just as an angry weapon in defence or defiance. It was most certainly the first time that you could look him in the eyes and let him see a little of what his use of you had truly cost you. Not just the losses, but that which you had won for yourself from it.

He shook his head not at you; but at himself. Whilst waiting, you bit your lip to ground yourself; your talons pressing deeper into your skin. His thumb brushing between your lips to free it from your teeth as he breathed in deeply. Kneeling down to you, he tutted at the activity going on between your hands. Pulling them from your arm and then rubbing the red indentations you had left on your skin. Your head still bent in a refusal to look at him; for all you knew he wanted you to.

“Hurt me Pet if you need to destroy something, but not you. I have hurt you enough.”

His flatly spoken request made you look at him. His eyes wide and so emotional; so very unlike your own deadened ones. Exhaling slowly to steady both his nerves and his trembling hand as slowly he lifted it. Not bothering removing his glove, before a palm pressed to your cheek. The sudden bleaching of all colour from his face, making the pink spots of his cheeks look starker. The lines that bridged the corners of his eyes deeper. His perhaps could be called laughter lines now; especially given how much happiness his daughters brought to him. The Emperor Hux was older than the man who had taken you; but it was perhaps you who had truly aged in the space of time he had spent with you.

“No one save yourself, Ren, Arabella and I are left to know where you came from. It is up to you to choose who knows what of your past and I must accept the consequences; it will your decision what happens now.”

There was a lump in your throat and tears in your eyes at his sincerity. The emotion you had thought you were missing from this discourse, come back to haunt you. To hide your weakness from him, you pressed your forehead to his chest. Still surprised despite all that he had offered in promises to you, when he permitted you this act. More so surprised at yourself; that you were finally taking comfort from your enemy. The twin beads of moisture that fell from your eyes, now landing with a splatter onto the palms of your up turned hands. Pooling to the centre where they lay still entwined on your lap. His hands still grasping your wrists to keep you safe from your nails.

“Pet I cannot make it right; I know what I have done to you is truly unforgivable.”

You nodded. He was right, his treatment of you could be called barbaric at best. Your breath shallow and purposefully even as his mouth twisted, pulling to the side whilst his chin tilted to look at you. His silence as purposeful as ever. He was listening, you had his full attention.

“I know we keep saying this. But we have to do something to move on, I have to-”

He had given his most solemn promise he would not touch you until you came to him. Still when the pad of his thumb brushed your lips to silence your frustration at yourself, it was almost too much; and yet not enough. His hand tenderly cupping your jaw. Your eyes raised to his and staring into each ginger lashed depth, frowning at the darkness under each silver-blue orb. Testing him to see what he would do if you did not draw back in fear. Interested to see if he really could keep to his word.

“Even if you came to me, you are not ready yet; but I will give you what you need if you tell me.”

It was not a rejection; nor had you been asking him. Still it stung a lot more than you had been expecting, less so when he reminded you that it was not due to a lack of his own desire. Assuring you that you were still as beautiful as before; but ending with another reminder that it was not time yet. That you were still not whole enough. You wanted to give a bitter laugh at that. Only Hux would demand such exacting terms to a contract you had not wholly consented to. You wondered exactly how far his latent attempts at mistaken chivalry would stretch to if tested. Frowning as you considered the other part of his answer to your test; wondering what exactly you did need.

There was nothing material. Hux was a proud man, and recognising that in yourself too, he had ensured that you never had to ask for anything. All of your material needs were met, many above and beyond what was wholly necessary. But he was also an intelligent man and whilst he knew you had emotional needs also; he struggled to understand them. Unlike Ren who had always instinctively known when you needed to be touched; Hux knew little of human comforts beyond the small family he had engineered for himself. Now you took time considering his offer to gift you something for yourself. Your heart thumped. Not with a fear of a refusal to his request, but that he would misunderstand it. Or that once given it, it would be too much. Deciding firmly on a small victory, not to flatter his pride; but to protect your sanity. To give yourself something that you had never had under his ownership of you.

“I want to go outside.”  

It had been so long since you had been out amongst people. Not the high society guests, soldiers and servants, but common people; folk like yourself. The outside world was something you had barely seen glimpses of and then, always it had been from within the secure walls of his property. You were always guarded, always escorted; it was stifling. Now you were asking to breath the air outside of them, to perhaps walk amongst others. A simple request made for a simple person, you were never interested in the grand gestures that an Emperor could bestow upon his people.

It seemed like forever, but in reality, his answer came too quickly. A simple lowering of his chin, to an affirmative yes. Then the swift and graceful rising of himself from the floor, standing and offering you his hand. Waiting gently, but obviously impatiently for you to take it in your own.

“I don’t just mean the gardens.”

You had stood, unwilling to accept his hand just yet. Hesitantly waiting for him to dismiss your request as a foolish notion; or to explain he had misunderstood your request. To offer you the palace grounds. To tell you that the mother of his children was far safer there, rather than to risk the dangers of the wider outside world. His answer first a small grin. One that permitted you to take his hand, pulling you willing or not from the room.

“Somehow I had assumed you meant outside of the palace grounds.”

There was an amused tease to his voice. A flippancy that was wholly uncharacteristic of his usual attitude, almost carefree and himself innocent. Then as you followed an explanation of what you were doing, that he was acceding to your request. His actions revealed to you, as the spontaneous ones of a man who had let something other than straight logic lead you here. The corridors you were now led through, not the airy, wide ones you would normally trapeze on your way to provide entertainment for the Emperor. But much thinner, roughly finished and with lower ceilings. The walls still clean; but pristinely whitewashed and very boring in comparison to the ornate ones you usually used. The endless stairs, slopes and turns leading down. Then an endless straight through a damp smelling tunnel that seemed to go on forever until it at last ended in a small metal grated opening.

Outside was daylight; and not the shaded sunlight of the gardens. A bright warm Naboo morning waited for you on the other side. The light warm, enveloping you; warming you from what had been a chilly journey. Hux pulling you along a wide pathway besides the water ways of the capital city Theed. Slowly guiding you along the pavement, until it opened into a lush green manicured lawn. Dotted with well-placed trees; ending in what looked to be the beginnings of a bustling market place; filled with people. Welcoming and yet so alien at the same time; making you falter in your first steps onto the greenery.  

This was what you had asked Hux for, wasn’t it? The space you had been denied for so long, the freedom to walk where you wanted, rather than to be guided on a set route; to follow another’s plans for you. Yet instead of rejoicing your heart thundered almost painfully with in the cage of your chest. Panic threatening to overturn, what should have been nothing of concern; as he pulled you into the what was the largest space you had been in since before the war. Your breathing slowing as you fought to control the dizziness you felt at being properly outside. Your overworked lungs straining to take in all they could of the sweet outside air.

You managed another two steps on to the lush verdant grass before your legs gave way from beneath you. Falling towards your knees as gracefully as you could manage, your palms outstretched to the floor where they caught you from falling any further. Too engrossed in your panic attack to pay heed to any further worries that others may have seen you fall. Or that the act was considered too ungraceful for Hux. Trying your hardest not to look weak before you goaler. To behave nonchalantly and not as though this really was just another challenge to you. Not to make life easier on him. Never were your actions to save face with how he had treated you; there was no more shame to be had here; he had perhaps used it all up for today. But for the dotting of other people who occasionally shared the outskirts of space with you. They did not have to know you were weak. Some engrossed in their own lives and oblivious to you, others giving friendly nods as they passed on by. Adults and children alike, none of them familiar or concerned at all when instead of sitting you chose to flop back. Ignoring the threat of grass stains, or the mess it would make to your hair to lay on your back. The bandages and bacta protecting your wounds. Your arms spread to either side of you as wide as they would fit; stretched tight and fingers loose; but pointed. Your eyes closed to the warm sun, whilst slowly now you breathed in. Blocking out all other concerns to just listen. To just for a short while be happy; perhaps to forget everything but the smell of grass and the sounds of nearby wild animals. The vacant security of it all lulling you to a state of absolute bliss.

Besides you the Emperor stayed on guard, still standing as you allowed yourself to enjoy what was the closest you would ever come to freedom. His clothing still the plainer garb he wore at home with yourself, Ren and the babies. Unidentifiable by garb alone as the Emperor; nothing but his stance and the quality of his clothing to even suggest he came from money. Slowly your opened one eye and lifted your head from the ground. Peering up at his stiffened poise, patting the grass and laying back down. No words of acceptation, or protests about sitting on the dirty grass. Only the shifting of the air. around you and the sound of his breathing nearby to tell you he had accepted your request to sit with him.    

He was silent, but your mind was not. Filled with more questions and answers than you could ever accommodate. Hux genuinely had surprised you and this time, pleasantly so. You had never stressed to him, that you wanted to be unrecognisable whilst outside; or that you wished to go out unguarded. Whilst he had insisted on accompanying you, he had not taken the time to make arrangements for your security. There were no stormtroopers accompanying you both; and you were both plainly dressed. Perhaps you had just not expected Emperor Hux to be so ready and willing to accommodate your request. That had that been why you had given him so little details when you had asked for it. You perhaps deliberately set him up to fail, to give too little instructions as to what you wanted from him.

Now laid out on the grass, you were unsure. Not of your safety; you knew full well that Kylo Ren would know exactly where you had gone. Either the chip in your neck was still active; or else he would know through the bond he shared with Hux. Whichever it was, you doubted you were at risk here in the Naboo capital. They were not obvious, but it was swarming with First Order personnel; you were safe. Still you wondered in Hux was, if anyone with anti-First Order tendencies would take a shot at him. If you would be guilty by association.

“Pet?”

You opened your eyes. Emperor Hux propped on one side, his brows knitted in concern. Had he guessed you were over thinking; or had Ren somehow magically been able to tell him you were concerned? Now as he tucked your hair straight, brushing it from your cheeks, you blinked frowning in your own unspoken thoughts.

“You’re worried Pet, I can feel it as much as hear it in your breathing.”

He was so perceptive, but never had he admitted to being able to sense anything of what you were feeling. Perhaps it was a newly acquired skill, or perhaps he had refused before to listen for them when it suited him. Now as you looked away to steady your breath, he refused your attempts to ignore what was an unspoken question.

Waiting on you swallowing, before you could speak. Each of your anxious and overworked worries coming out quickly whilst he patiently waited for you to finish speaking. Allowing you another breath or two to further steady yourself before he spoke, kneeling up as he did and holding his arms out to you.    

“The people will barely recognise me without any pomp and ceremony come on, let’s explore the market.”

You were not sure you wanted to. But neither where you sure you did not. Accepting his help to turn onto your knees. The full skirts of the Naboo themed attire catching under you as you tried to stand. His grip now a welcome security as he caught you. Brushing bits of leaves and grasses from you and helping tidy up your apparel. His own no where as messy as your own. Almost as though even the world around him bent to his fastidiousness. Tucking your arm in his as the rougher terrain offered more hazards to your stroll. For balance you accepted it, but when you reached the smoother paved walkways to the edge you did not remove it. His looks catching the eye of many a passer-by; though no one thought to comment. He was right, out of his uniform and imperial garbs no one recognised him; so strolling around stalls you were both completely incognito. Not even the heavily numbered First Order troopers showed signs of recognition.

You had no credits; nor where you about to ask the Emperor for any. But still you tentatively looked over the countless stalls. Just little turns of your head at first, then as time wore on you grew braver. Stopping to look over varying jewellery stalls. Many full of cheap imitation gemstones and metal; but a few employing the presence of an armed guard or mercenary. These you gathered at a whispered suggestion from Hux, were a mix of both genuine and forged items.

Several were pretty. Though many were too gaudily decorated to fit your preferred style; or as it seemed Hux’s. His scowl as your fingers picked over one stall was almost a snarl. Thinly wrought, it was made from a delicate silver material; tiny flowers and coloured droplets forming a ring that would fit around your head. Besides it sat a plainer ring, this one you guessed would form a collar. It was pretty, the only thing you would have perhaps enquired of the buyer for a price, but one look at Hux made you forget it. Perhaps the matching necklace, that had truly been what had caught your eyes had been too collar-like for his tastes. Thanking the owner swiftly your hurried away, breaking from Hux’s arms to do so. Smiling back at the stall holder who offered you a concerned glance before he turned to deal with another customer. This one, one who from the look you shot back over the shoulder of a slowly approaching Hux was actually making a purchase.

Once he had caught up with you; Hux once more took your arm. The slow walk around more stalls bringing with it a sense of relaxation. Here and now you were able to forget for a little while. Even with the man at the crook of your arm still present; you could pretend you were out for a pleasant stroll, that nothing bad was waiting for you back in the palaces.  

Midday came and passed. The later afternoon bringing with it a grumble of protest from your stomach. Coupled with the smells of wafting meats and other spices on the wind making you consider if it would be wiser to return to the palaces. One stall selling spiced cakes, making you turn to Hux.

You doubted that he would have any credits on him and to present his DNA for a digital transference of any would have been disastrous. You had none; you were sure he would have offered to purchase something for you had that been the case. But you were not about to lower yourself to asking for any either. That was too close to begging for your liking; still you did not want to go home. You worried about what was happening there; but not about the safety of Eloise and Elliana with Kylo Ren.

“You want food Pet?”

His voice was quiet, and his gaze almost casual as it skipped over the market stall. Your head tilted you raised one brow and cocked your head to one side in question at what he was about. His pleasant smirk quickly informing you as he uncharacteristically pulled you close, that he was up to something. His movements suddenly a little clumsy. Nothing like the precise movements of before, making you trip and almost slip. Caught by the stall holder that had stepped forwards assuming you to be customers.

Quickly you apologised. Your cheeks flushing a deep red at the stall holders grip on you; mortified to have almost caused a scene. As always when your actions were less than precise; scared of the Emperor’s mood. Hoping that if he wanted to make something of your actions it could wait until you got home. You had no wish to undergo the humiliation of a public lesson, to your clumsiness.

“I’m sure nothing is harmed M’lady.”

The stall owner was humanoid; but not human. The words falling gutturally thought a mouth that perhaps was not used to speaking in galactic basic. Still he was not offended at your actions, nor thankfully had you upset anything on his stall. The demands of an angry stall holder, that you make good on any damages would have been easy enough for Hux to repair. But it would have been impossible to do so without revealing who he was. The stall keeper, held your arm. Likely enough by the concern as he repeated his moniker for you as a question, able to feel your trembling. Asking if he should fetch someone from your household to escort you home.

“That will not be necessary; but thank you for your offer.”

Hux seemed eager to take your arm from the stall owner. Pulling you hurriedly through the market place, taking your deeper into the crowds and away from the small pocket of food stalls. Only stopping when the stall was no longer in sight, pulling you to face him. Your spluttered protests that you were sorry for any embarrassments caused, stopped when he held something up to you.

Your mouth spread into a thin line, but your stomach knew better than to take this moment to act prideful. The ginger pursing his lips to blow bits of lint from the offered pasty and placing it in your open mouth. Answering you garbled protests.

“Yes I used you as a distraction; how does it taste.”

He was pleased with himself you realised quickly by his eager pace, but dismissive tone. The Emperor of the know galaxy had managed to steal a pastry from some unsuspecting stall holder for you; and that had amused him greatly. It was another facet of himself that he had not permitted you to see. To be honest it tasted good; freedom making you prefer it to anything he had given you in the palace.

“I will need a drink too; your Highness.”

There was sarcasm; an absurdity with his actions making you unsure as to whether you were teasing him; or cross that he had put you through all of that. His eyes rolling as he pulled your arm to continue walking. His pace slower as you nibbled on the food. Allowing you time to eat leisurely; whilst also you realised leading you back to the palace. This time, he used the front door way. The guards on duty standing taller as you passed; both of you recognisable here.

“Your Highness, the Supreme Leader requests your presence in the council room at once.”

The afternoon had been pleasant; and dare you say it so had been his company. But back inside the walls of his seat of power, he was again stiff and formal. Ignoring most people who passed him, setting the pace to his own desires and needs; ignoring your own to lead you back to the shared chambers. Hurrying to hide his wife inside his room and hurrying with the removal of his shoes. Stripping his outer tunic as he walked to his room. Stopping suddenly and hurrying back, his hands in the pocket. The sleeves out-turned; displaying the various weapons he kept there. Each blade proclaiming your safety whilst you had been out with him.

“Here Pet.”

You had been too busy counting daggers to remember that he had been walking towards you. Now his hand pulled from the pocket and handed something over to you. The mix of silver and sparkle instantly recognisable.

“Did you steal that for me?”

You were incredulous, that necklace was not cheap and likely the owner would be looking for it. A pastry was one thing; jewellery another. He might be happy with it, but you were no thief. In answer he grit his teeth, frowning as he shook it at you. Doubtless cross that you were not taking it from him.

“I could not very well ask to buy it could I? The merchant will receive the credits; and more for her silence.”

You took it from him at that. All that he had said made sense; he was not speaking lies. The merchant would be paid handsomely in recompense for his actions. What’s more, for her to speak would have truly been stupid; she would receive more than the jewellery was worth. Tentatively you took it. Shocked, but also intrigued by the uncertainty in his eyes; the way he held himself. He was used to gifts, but not at such a personal level you realised. Whilst there had been many over your time with him, they had been handed over by Ren. Never by him personally and now he feared rejection from you.

“I thought you didn’t like it?”

You were remembering his scowl, the way he had looked made you quickly draw back from the items and move on. Now you looked over it in a different light, his answer simple as he hurried off to make himself more presentable for an audience.

“But you liked it Pet.”


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been proofread

It was late at night and you were on your own.  Besides you the twins slept on in their crib, the shared bed a testament of their need for one another, their bond.  But other than the juvenile pattering of breathing, you were left to your own devices.  Hux had swiftly gone to hasten to Kylo’s side and been gone so long that you had not waited for either men to return.  Guessing that for both fathers to miss both bath time and tucking their children in to their crib; something must be amiss.  So, you had relented to the use of both protocol droids and finally permitted your attendants to help with the children.  Simply going about your evening as usual, though sadly accepting someone else’s help.  The cooing women, chattering to both children as you had taken control and given orders; feeding and then bathing Elliana and Eloise.  Allowing both servants and protocol droids alike to proclaim their delight over them, before each tiny body was tucked safely in their beds.  Aware that this was the first time you had allowed your attendants to fulfil their complete roll.  

Now it was past the latest part of the night, soon the hours would inch on towards morning.  You were exhausted. The rest of your day had been without event, or activity; still you could not bring yourself to turn of the small light at your bedside table to permit yourself to sleep.  On the spare pillow besides you lay the pilfered items of that day.  The items the Emperor had stolen for you.  Their presence not so much a source of confusion as much as your indecision in deciding whether or not to accept them.  They were beautiful, and you sincerely believed the stall holder would be compensated for their loss.  They were after all nothing in cost, to anything else you owned.  But it worried you what it would mean should you wear them, should you accept the offering.  For you it would mean so much.  Not that the wearing of something he had procured for you made the difference; everything you wore was originally from him.  No, it was what it would cost to you to wear something you had chosen; to accept that this had been a show of compliance in this role he had for you.  For him it was nothing, simply another gift.  Another trinket that he thought would be one more step to your happiness.  But for you, to put it on represented the first gift you had willingly accepted from him.    

Somehow though your fingers had found their way to the headdress.  Lifting it as you turned onto your back, twirling it around in the half-light to consider it.  Twisting it this way and that; watching as the light caught on it, refracting into a myriad of colours that danced off the delicate silverwork.  It was so light; yet it felt so heavy with both meaning and promise.  

Sighing deeply to yourself in what you assured your self was not an acceptance you sat up.  Carrying it with you as you rolled off the bed and walked over to the mirror.  Taking a deep breath, then another before raising it to your head.  Your hair loosely fell over your shoulder and the wrought metal circlet was very well made.  It fitted your head like a glove.  Almost as though it had been fashioned for your head alone.  Another coincidence you realised, just one more of many that had been a turning point in your life. It looked good on you.  Though it weighed heavier upon your brow than a cast iron hood.   It’s weight far more substantial; more serious than slight piece of jewellery. 

You where unsettled in it though, half expecting Hux to at any moment reveal he had been spying on you wearing it.  He had always a gift for catching you when you most needed him to stay away.  Now as you restlessly paced the room in your nightdress, barefooted and far more graceful than you had ever moved before Hux; you began to wonder if you wanted him to stay away.  Or if him approval in your choice would be welcome.  His room was only a door away and unlike you he would not be sleeping alone.  Whilst you had the twins, it was not entirely the same.  His bed would contain Ren too; neither man understood what it meant to be lonely like you were.  They would have the luxury of company in their unconscious hours; they had a partnership.

The door from you chamber led straight onto the courtyard garden and it was to there that your feet seemed to lead you.   Leaving the doorway to your bedchamber open ajar and stepping out into the chill of the night, the Naboo night mists already descended.  Their thick opacity swirling around you as you strolled over to the pond at the centre. The floor cool on the soles of your bare feet as they pattered into the night.  Clouding you shape and muffling your footsteps as you walked; shivering against the nights coldness.

“It is well past late Little-Pet.”

Kylo Ren’s voice caught you off guard, yet you didn’t jump at it.  Just as you had not been surprised to see him awake; neither had he been to find you here.  You did not flinch or draw away as you might have once done.  Simply watching the lazy movements of the fish under the surface of the pond, as he came to stand besides you at the water’s edge.  His shoulders massive, his titanic height making him stand colossal next to your tiny frame.  His head tilting to look down at you as he stood to your side.  His pale face reflecting what light shone from the shrouded moons above.  The watery light drawing high contrasts between his darker hair and eyes. Dulling the sharpness of his cheek bones and drawing attention to the thickness of his lips.  His eyes dark and soulful, thick full lips twisting as he stared forwards.  Unchallenging of your interest; but not dismissive, permitting you to openly stare up at him.

Once those lips had pressed to yours.  Whilst you had protested you hated it, there had still been a sense of wholeness to him using you.  An understanding that you were not alone whilst he did; perhaps at times a gentleness to his touch too.  There had been a sort of comfort to be found in his body; one he had been willing to give. 

“You are too full of conflict; we both can sense it in you.”

There was a question in his statement and an explanation as to why he was awake too.  His voice soothing, almost just a low rumble of a soothing growl.  No louder than would risk it carrying across the courtyard garden to where the door to his own room lay half ajar.  The lights were off; he had snuck out here you realised, just as you had too.  Kylo Ren had sensed your discomfort; so had Hux too?  Kylo though had deliberately sought you out. To if you were willing, provide comfort and companionship to you.  Kylo had done so to seek you out, aware that something was wrong; and willing to try and help.  Now he was not about to force you to explain yourself; but the offer was there to speak should you need to.  He was being patient with you; compassionate.  Prompting you to ask questions of him.

“Is it hard? For you not to listen to my thoughts I mean.”

Besides you Kylo Ren gave a shrug, his chin dipping to look down at the pond bellow you.  Pulling a flattened pebble up to his spread fingers and twiddling it between them.  Stalling for time, he threw it first and you watched the circular disk skipping the pond.  Kylo Ren waiting for it to sink below the surface before he addressed your question.

“You keep me out, mostly.  It is hard, I do not intentionally pry, there are times when your feelings make it impossible not to sense something.  Such is the nature of any bond.”

“Can it not be broken? Perhaps altered?”

It was a gutless thing to say to him.  Cruel and unnecessary, beneath your kinder nature.   Simply spoken, it was a knee-jerk reaction to his suggestion that you were in some way bonded to the force user.  Followed quickly by a heartfelt sorry.  Such petty meanness was beneath you; you were the good guy in all of this.  You were not supposed to do the attacking.  Besides you Kylo sighed; hurt you realised. Your words had wounded Kylo, so he had not yet spoken. Taking time to prevent the risk that you could not detect it in his voice.  It was not that he did not necessarily reject your apology.

“The jedi had many things wrong little-Pet, but their decision to abstain from relationships was not without reasoning.  We form attachments just as other non-sensitives do, except ours are deeper; more complex in nature. We cannot love as others love.”

You nodded, silently snarling into the space between you both as you did. Perhaps he deserved more for his admission than you gave him, but you were done with expectations.     

“You know nothing of love Lord Ren; neither of you do.”

You had spoken on auto pilot.  Expecting as you did for Kylo to respond in anger, or to flinch.  Instead you received gentleness.  Kylo Ren turning to face you, cupping the side of your face and drawing you to him.  Holding you against himself.  Freeing you from the choice and wrapping both arms around you to give you what you needed right now; comfort.

“Incorrect pet, I know plenty of love.  I had a mother who loved me deeply despite all of my flaws; supposed or real.  Armitage however knew nothing of love before myself, his was a cruel upbringing. His shows that you do not need to have known love, to experience it.”

Silence was not the same as accepting his words; but nor did you entirely dismiss them.  You had known Leia Organa, not personally; but you had served alongside her.  The love she had for her cause and her people was felt personally by all who fought her campaign.  You could not imagine her making her son believe anything less of her feelings towards her.  Leia Organa perhaps loved too passionately, had she not then she still could have been alive today; the Resistance could have stood.  

“The Resistance was corrupt and delusional at its very core; it was over long ago. They allowed countless others to die for a regime that was at it very roots flawed.  It forced countless others to die for a cause that permitted poverty.  Under our rule the strong shall of course reign supreme, but the weak will at least be fed and clothed; all children will be educated they will grow up strong...And you are only alone Pet because you choose to be, and you are certainly not the weak.”

The suggestion that adults sacrifice their future for a better tomorrow for their children was hardly alien to you.  But that you do so for his cause was an oddity, one that you had had to accept.  Your head under his chin, he had spoken against your hair and into your head.  Ensuring you could feel the rumbles of his voice in his chest, the warmth from his heated body slowly leeching into your own.  Beginning where you both touched and then working outwards until it surrounded you both.  Warming even your feet where they pressed chilled and mucky against the stone floor.  Unspoken, but not unheard was the plea that suggested that this was not what he wanted for you.  Pattering in your heart as an echo of his wishes.  If today’s escape had taught you nothing, it was that you were desperately lonely for companionship.

Lately you knew you had become more complacent around Kylo Ren.  He had always been the kinder of the two.  He would have once been your preference for paternal parent to your children.  However, experience had taught you that whilst he was a doting parent, practically speaking he was the less able of the two.  He was far more intuitive than any normal father, but he lacked some of the basic skills.  Still Kylo had met each challenge with stoic patience, determined to do even better at the next one; until he matched Hux in skill.  But whereas it was in Hux’s nature to need control; Kylo never seemed to want to take over; his was more of a partnership.  Now as he held onto you it seemed acceptable somehow and as he led you back to your bedroom it seemed less invasive. Less suggestive that he was doing anything more than returning you to his children.  Depositing you at the door and opening it to usher you in.  Taking his leave to go look over his children, smiling to himself as he bent over the cot side. 

“Even grown, they are so tiny; so fragile, are they not Pet?”

You nodded, amused as always that next to him they would always seem tiny.  Whilst they could grow tall, you doubted their frame would ever thicken to match their father.  Coming to stand over the cot side and whispering, as much wishing that he would come away.  Eloise and Elliana generally slept well, but you had no wish for them to be woken in the night.  Kylo was reluctant to come away but despite suspecting he would rather enjoy them waking to greet them he relented; but not before he had kissed each one in their sleep.           

“Tidge has offered that I sleep here with you tonight, should you like the company.”

You scowled, cross that Kylo Ren would stoop to relaying the night’s findings with his husband.  Then worse imaging that Hux was instead spying on you, looked around the room.  Searching it for clues, paranoid at the level of surveillance that he could have you under.    

“No Pet. We are all entwined, similar to my own abilities he to can sense your emotions when he permits himself to. Simply put he can feel what I feel now; he offers you comfort.”

Now you felt guilty; crossing your arms over your chest and sitting down on the edge of the bed.  Disappointed in yourself you sighed, brows pulled tightly together; tempting the pulse that built at your temple to throb sharply.  Painfully aware that you had been given a fair offer, but due to past misconceptions you had taken it all wrong; and in doing so had managed to alienate yourself from what could have been the company you needed.  Now realistically Kylo too should have looked hurt at your treatment of his kind offer, but instead there was just endless patience as he stood over you.  Then the slow blink that he did whenever he struggled to hide his own feelings at the expense of knowing your own.  Now he was waiting for an answer to Hux’s question, still offering despite your earlier reaction.  Now you struggled with yourself, you wanted to accept. But would doing so make you weak, would he understand that it was just the company.    

“I can read your thoughts Little-Pet, the offer was for company alone. He would have views on me engaging in anything sexual with you.”

Kylo Ren’s brow was raised, and there was sardonic amusement as well as annoyance as he knelt to swing your legs into your bed, pulling the covers over you. Turning to leave instead, his hand resting on the door frame as pausing he took a deep breath; giving you the option to swallow your pride and call him back.

You could not; or would not.  Either one was irrelevant to you because you where left to sleep alone.  Both furious at yourself, and disappointed in equal measures.  Unable to it seemed to gather together peace with yourself enough to last more than a scant handful of minutes at a time in sleep.  Waking to provide the morning feeds with less enthusiasm than a zombie, prompting Hux to step in.  Your children where now beginning on solids; so, breakfast involved a mixture of infant approved cereal. 

“Learn when to ask for help Pet.”

You where short tempered, but too tired to argue the point.  Gritting your teeth when Hux pulled up a chair to sit next to you.  Taking up Eloise’s spoon and scooping up the mixture, blowing on it to cool before leaning forwards to offer it to her as she sat in her feeding chair.  Grinning when she took it from him, ignoring your posturing at his treatment of you.  Instead going off on another tangent altogether.      

“Would you humour me Pet, I have something I am dealing with this afternoon; I would like your assistance.”   

Had a stranger of just walked in, they would have assumed this was normal behaviour.  He was so damned nonchalant in his conversation and actions.  Spooning more mixed cereal and milk into the waiting child, as though this was not the first time he had ever asking for your help.  Almost as though he was not suddenly offering you to speak to him as though you where his equal.  The tempo of the question made it obvious that he was giving you a choice.  Whatever this activity would be, it would be optional.  You did not answer, simply spending the rest of the meal concentrating on the wriggling child who seemed to better demand your immediate attentions.  Not hugely paying much attention to the Emperor until he had finished and was making ready to leave you all.  Kissing both his daughters a goodbye, offering them assurances that daddy would miss them whilst he was gone.  

“It will be a public event, and I will have your attendants ready to prepare you, it will be your choice whether or not to accept the invitation.”

You nodded.  Curiosity making you honestly debate taking him up on his offer.  Wondering what the event was that he wanted you to attend. But judging from his demands that you had to be preened and prettied that he needed you to stand present as arm candy.  Bitterly wondering if he wanted you to return to kneeling at his throne like the pet you had been.  

“Who will watch my daughters whilst I am gone?”

He had almost left the room, so your question had him stalling in the placement of his next perfectly placed footstep.  Tilting his head back towards you, the line of his chin sharpening his features. 

“Our daughters will be watched, and whilst you will be made to look the part of my wife if you will trust me, you will better see why I wish you to be there. But may I suggest you return to bed for a nap, you are more irritable than usual; even for you.”

He left you at that.  Irate and desperate to prove you where not being unreasonable, it was your anger that had pretty much made your mind up for you that you would attend.  If he wanted reasonable you would be, he probably had only invited you to look reasonable.  You would perform well, if only to better prove to Kylo that Hux was being unreasonable.

You did however concede on having a nap, alongside your daughters when the time came.  The shared your bath with them.  No longer as shy as you might have once been to your nakedness it was easy to bathe both girls with the assistance of your handmaidens and the protocol droids.  Enjoying the splashing of the water almost as much as the girls seemed to.  Relinquishing them both to a waiting set of hands to wash yourself, watching them wriggling on their playmats as your hair was dried and all other parts of your daily beauty regime completed.  

When the time came you had accepted your handmaiden’s and attendants’ advice in your choice of clothing.  Allowing them to choose how you would be presented, your hair pinned and styled into place.  Your face too painted artfully, no doubt as Emperor Hux had commanded.  The only change was to demand you wear the jewellery Hux had pilfered for you, ignoring the suggestions that they were not quite elegant enough.  Twisting your mouth at one corner, at the distress they seemed to display at your orders; already you where finding little ways to under mind your husband.  The deathtroopers that Kylo Ren had ordered guard you before arrived to escort you.  The protocol droid proclaiming their arrival, bowing a little as you informed her you were ready.  The Emperor Hux clearly had plans for you to make an entrance, so you where ready to do so.  The doors opening to reveal a room very unlike the one you had been expecting.

It was not a party, or a public event as such.  The room much smaller that you had been expecting, and its scant few occupants all standing around; just the Emperor and Supreme Leader sat.  Both of who stood to greet you, the latter moving to stand behind the high-backed chair he had been occupying.  Chin held as high as it had been when you had been presented collared and chained you walked forwards.  Ignoring the itch to stare at those who you passed.  Your mind fizzing with thoughts of why you where here; the room silently observing you as you walked to stand at the chair you knew Kylo Ren had vacated for you.

There was a killer at you back.  The Supreme Leader Ren’s positioning meant as a premade threat to all who now openly stared at you; a challenge to the first man or woman who would challenge you.  Inside your chest, your heart beat the tempo of a caged-bird; frightened and desperately seeking release whilst you tilted your head to a side.  Drawing on the image of the man at your side, whilst you in turn looked over the room.  Praying that your actions were a succinct mirroring of the Emperor, that you manged to keep from you actions the nervousness you felt at this.  Remembering furiously that it was Hux who had invited you, if things went wrong it would be his fault and not your own. 

Slowly your breathing steadied; a cough from somewhere in the room sounding.  The signs of someone’s annoyance at you taking your time.  When you looked to Hux for guidance you were awarded with something unexpected, the man narrowing his eyes in warning to the room.  Staring at one gentleman in particular.  His clothing you guessed proclaiming him First Order and not civilian.  The man at your back less subtle, the rustling of cloth and squeak of leather on metal letting you know that his hand was ready in place over his lightsabre.  He was a killer, and the room now knew he would do so.  

Taking a deeper breath, you waited.  Then taking a gamble sat down before being given permission, your legs the last of you to cooperate with you.  Still shaking despite the seated position, only realising as he sat that the Emperor had been waiting for you to do so first.  Flicking his wrist to the room to indicate that the others may take a seat on the benches to the sides of the room.  Only realising as all baring two sat with their backs to the wall, that there was only one other woman present; the one standing next to the man.  Barely managing to hear the Emperor’s single order to proceed over your own curiosity.  What had you been fetched to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am nearly at the end. I plan on ending this story on its arch, there might be added extras to come afterwards, but this marks I hope a show in the changes.


	51. Chapter 51

Both Hux and Kylo stared.  Waiting for the couple to decide who was to speak first. It was no surprise to you then that it was the man who stepped forwards to speak first.  His voice carrying with a confidence that was a deep contrast to your own temperament around Hux.  His clothing a little different to the First Order uniforms you had faced in battle; but still easily recognised as a soldier’s garb.  He stood taller as he greeted each man by name as a soldier would to his superiors.  Even his hands fixed behind his back, in what had been an officer’s imitation of a parade rest.  The position forcing his pudgy chest forwards.  The spare tire around his middle proclaiming him now gone to seed.  His age judging from the salt and pepper in his hair, was a little older than the officers you had fought in the skirmishes and battles you had faced.  Soft, overweight and past his prime, you thought he looked stupid in the soldier’s uniform.  The decision to wear it today, was a mistake, he looked less like an old dog laid out to rest, and more like a man stupidly trying to reclaim his glory years.  His over confident preening making him look vain.  A man too desperate to prove to the room, that there was a connection between the two men you where partnered to, and himself.  A man who had somehow lost control of the situation.

“I have come before you today your Highness for justice.”

Even his words showed no humbleness.  The explanation was not a request, but a demand.  One that has the Emperor appearing to dismiss his underling’s earnestness.  Emperor Hux was not a fan of being challenged; you knew that to your own detriment.  There was a nod to Kylo, but there was not greeting made towards you.  Not even a sneer as he looked you over.  It should show the man who was all but demanding the Emperor’s attention that you where someone worthy of note.  That he was completely dismissive of yourself though in greeting the room, then was interesting.  It was a crass move and beneath anyone one who had an ounce of respect for another human being.  He was being rude, but not without having considered the most likely outcome for his visit today.  He was being overly confident; and thought whatever he reached for was already his; and was not afraid to show it.  A foolish move.  One though although caused no voiced objective opinions to be raised; still had the Emperor shifting his leg beneath the table to touch your own.   The pressure of his calf against yours, the smallest of signs that he wished to reassure you.  That the Supreme Leader had given his seat up for you, was a small hint that Kylo would most likely take offence, but you dared not be so sloppy as to look behind you.  Instead you kept your back ram-rod straight and your eyes dismissive of emotion.

“So, I understand, just get on with it man.”

This former soldier, had asked for justice.  But in the First Order ranks, all knew that that was something which even former members had proclaimed was twisted and bent.  Whatever he had come here to do today, could have nothing then to do with military matters.  Either it had something to do with First Order politics; or else another aristocrat had done him wrong.  It was clearly nothing to do with you on a personal level; it could not be. 

Prompting concerns as to why Emperor Hux had requested your help; what help could you give to matters pertaining to their military justice. You would need to know him as well as you did, but there was something about this man that was infuriating Hux. It wasn’t so much in his tone, even though Hux had almost yawned at first before speaking.  Well he had at least come as close as his breeding would allow him to.  No, it was in his refusal to at first address the man by name.  You had never known the man to forget a face, so it was not that he had misplaced the man’s moniker; more that he was refusing to address him by it.  An odd choice of insult, but one that almost made the corners of your mouth turn up to hear.  He was doing his best, all be it in a gentlemanly and polite way; of throwing back an insult for you.   

 

Behind you there sounded the rustling of clothing as Kylo adjusted his stance.  Then a sense not that Kylo Ren was interested or showing signs of aggression, but more that he was bored or annoyed of something.  Neither Kylo or Hux spoke aloud to correct the greeting; or introduce you to the room.  Making you think quickly on the information they had given you through their actions.  Either everyone in the room already knew who you were, or the Emperor had deliberately kept who you were to them a secret from them.  Given everything people already knew of you, and his protests that you would be recognised as Elliana and Eloise’s mother, you doubted it was the second thought.  Hux had been to guilty, too sorrowful; no too honest in his dealings with you since Arabella had discovered what he had done.  You where not sure what he was trying to achieve here; but for once you would trust him wholeheartedly.  Whatever this thing was, this was proving just as intriguing to you as it was confusing.       

“I think all are aware that my wife has admitted disgusting terrorist sympathies in the past.  I simply wish given her betrayal of trust to divorce her.  Sadly, this has only ever been proven by the filth she has taken to spewing and not through deeds.  But the contract I entered into upon our union states that I am legally bound to provide a substantial divorce settlement to her, should I seek separation for anything other than infidelity.”

You almost flinched at the sneer within the man’s words.  Remembering all too quickly that you where exactly what he slandered his wife for being.  Almost ready to bolt before a glass of water was pushed your way, the gentle act a suggestion that you get it together rather than run.  The Emperor’s subtle way of asking you to remain.

Demurely you sipped from it.  Wondering if you requested anything else, it would be provided to you.  Grateful after a third sip had calmed your nerves that Hux had provided just water.  You needed your wits about you in this arena. There was more to the story and clipped vowel shorted tones as the man droned on, were painfully similar in dictation to Hux’s.  His accent Coruscanti placed too; or at least another who had chosen to imitate it.  That suggested that either he was born from Imperial stock, or else had imitated it well.  Then as your eyes swept up his left arm, the aurebesh banding strapped there, proclaimed him as an admiral.  Perhaps then he had seen battle and deserved to ask his superior for help.  Perhaps there was a small chance even that he had fought against the Resistance too; or served when Hux had only been the General of the First Order.  But that he chose to submit to the chaos of battle after being proclaimed Emperor of the First Order was unusual.  This man’s behaviour was suggestive not of an old loth-cat having found rest in its old age; but of a man already above battle age during the last days of conflict.  And that of one already at a rank that would not have realistically seen any hand to hand combat.  There it seemed more of his story to tell, but Hux was not prepared to hear it.  Cutting him off just as he began to rant about not having his children come from such a watered-down stock.  A phrase that struck chords of disharmony inside your ribs as you thought of another man who refused to stand back and allow his bloodline to be diluted. 

“I am quite informed on your situation Dernhelm, you know of my stance on those with Resistance ties.  Your wife was a former Resistance sympathiser and not an informant and as such is not a traitor or a war criminal.”

For all the nonchalance in his voice; Emperor Hux was annoyed too.  Doubtless from the way he closed his mouth quickly, Dernhelm considered himself slighted.  Cut off from the rest of what had been a pre-prepared and lengthy speech.  One that was meant to paint his wife in an unfavourable light to gather to him the support of the men inhabiting the room with him and hopefully the leaders too.  Both your fear and anger were dually unneeded as you listened to the reply Hux gave him.  So sure, that you had caught the briefest whispers in the back of your mind, of a force suggestion from Kylo Ren, to just kill the man.  Inside the words Hux had uttered aloud, had been the smallest of snarls, for all he tried his hardest to appear disinterested in this Dernhelm’s self-pitting plight.  Under the sheer pretence of listening devotedly to the Emperor’s words, you tilted your head to watch him in thanks.  Studying the tiny red spots that appeared on his cheeks.  The ones that judging from his stance and open confidence, Dernhelm could not see from the other side of the room.  Emperor Hux was offended by this man, and worried that you were too.     

Bolstered and your interest piqued enough in the man; you now looked over at the woman.  She stood not at the side of; but to the side of their Admiral, Dernhelm.  Her statue small and diminutive in comparativeness to her husband.  Both her posture and her full skirted clothing clearly marked her openly as a Lady.  Not just of breeding you had decided.  But given her behaviour compared to her vile husband, in her character too.  Violet eyed and chocolate-brown haired, she was not unattractive either. Her facial features were beautifully serine; but her eyes where full of contained anger towards the man who held the floor with her.  Her back straight as your own, a control shown which had you her freedoms, you would not have exhibited.  She appeared to be so much younger than he was, she had a natural patience that he clearly had not garnered with age; one that did her credit

She hated him, that much was clearly obvious. But unlike you, there was no fear just loathing annoyance as he had droned on.  Experienced, you could by now easily recognise the signs. Hers was not the face of someone who had far too much to say on a subject; but dared not to say anything.  But the face of someone who knew how to let a man hang himself.  For all she kept her breathing steady and waited voiceless, she longed to challenge her husband.  But her breeding would not permit her to do so as crassly as she wanted to and so she waited.  Submitting to your own curiosity in her.  The small smearing of anger she had exhibited seeming to subside into an honest interest at the woman who had taken to so rudely staring at her.  Making you blink and look down to your glass.  Momentarily embarrassed to have been caught out rudely staring at her, whilst also intrigued at her honesty in her own interest in you.       

“I appreciate this your Highness.  But given that I have children surely you as a father can see the necessity to keep unhealthy influences away from them, I will not have them grown up with terrorist for a mother.”

Now you where mad too, dumfounded at the man’s cruelty.  Looking to face Hux you were too shaken by what they had brought you to, to contain your emotions and behave as the lady they had practically beaten you to be.  Wide eyed, you pleaded with him.  Under the table your hands gripping tightly around nothing until your nails bit so deeply into the skin of your hands, that they stung.  Unable to understand how either man could just sit there.  Not after all they had put you through to be the mother they had wanted for their children.  Time went slowly, for all your heart sped up in your chest.  Racing so fast that you were sure someone besides you could hear the blood as it raced around your body.  Taking a breath that didn’t seem to bring with it any oxygen, you leant back in the chair.  Gripping the edge of the table as you looked over at the woman, your eyes full of horror and sadness.  Aware now of why the woman was being so reasonable.  To shout her husband down would only show the room that she was an unfit mother.  It was hard, but she had to behave; but you did not.  Or at least you hoped you did not.     

“Then as a father, you will see the necessity of your children knowing their mother.”

You gasped for air.  Pushing forwards, you hadn’t realised you had sprung to stand up until the sharp thwack of the chair hitting the stone floor rang through the chamber.  Slyly you looked through your peripheral vision, not quite ready to address what you had just done. 

No one else has risen to your height, not even the Emperor.  Eyes closed, you took a moment to steady the dizzying panic that rose in your throat like a scream.  Deafening yourself from all reason, until you looked down at Hux.  Suddenly frightened as he relaxed back against his chair, worried that you had made things worse for the woman. 

Swallowing, you fought back against the terror that once you left this room, you would have an irate Emperor Hux on your hands and raising your chin defiantly to the man who wanted rid of his wife.  Cut off when he turned to speak, to address Hux or Kylo; anyone but the woman who had challenged him.  Demanding that the woman be split from him and his children without any security for herself. 

“Did my wife fucking Stutter Dernhelm?”

Emperor Hux cut him off quickly.  His anger like a knife’s edge, making you swallow and stand straighter still.  Swallowing hard against the warmth that came with hearing him declare his support for you.  Whatever happened here, he would go with it and deal with it later; he was giving you your own rope.  Wishing you where taller, that your physical prowess would carry more weight in the room than it did.  Whilst also wondering if you could run off and hide, reminded suddenly by the distant memory of a cry, why this was important.  You could not bolt, either you took control now or you never would stand in his world.  You had a better idea, one that would see her safely kept from her husband; and if his treatment of her was anything to go by his children too. 

“No, but given where she came from too; do you think it is a good—"

Ashamed you almost dropped to sit back in the chair behind you.  That option gone as you watched it shatter against the wall to the right of you. Landing in a pile of splinters as behind you, Kylo Ren took a single step forwards to stand almost flush at your back. 

“ ** _My_** , our wife’s origins are as inconsequential to you, as drinking water is to the dead. You will address her with the same civility as you would myself.”

Heat radiated of him, as did his annoyance.  Opposite you Dernhelm blanched, the threat from Kylo Ren making him almost stagger.  Kylo Ren had deliberately not threatened him with the Emperor but himself.  Offering to the Admiral, a threat that promised to supersede any that Hux made to him.  His presence at you back a reminder to yourself that he would kill for you.  No, that he had killed for you and would do it again it was an offer. Tilting your head in the smallest of refusals you leaned over the table.  Hands splayed flat to the marble surface as you offered up your solution to her problem, hoping you had not overstepped the mark.

“All know that I am new to the Royal court, and therefore in need of guidance.  Your wife I am guessing is not?”

Your voice rang truer in confidence than you felt.  Realising too late that the innocent tactic you had used might be the plan’s very first hurdle, one that would lead to its undoing.  Hoping against the odds that you had not misread her.

“Yes, your highness I come from an old Imperial family, we married into Naboo royalty.”

You were pleased she had interceded and spoken for him, especially given the purple colour his face was turning.  But shocked at her having assumed your title, well aware that you where Hux’s wife; empresses were crowned, and you had not been.  Still her voice was soft, a crisp edge of an accent; but nothing to suggest she played for anything but your honest help.  Realising that you had addressed her mother to mother, and not as a courtier; she still offered you respect. Something as her husband sneered at you, you were gently bolstered by her kindness.

“I have few friends at court, and lack many of the skill needed to be seen openly at it.  My children in turn lack playmates and they are of an age that will soon need them. Therefore, as a solution to this seemingly distressing situation for all, might I suggest after the divorce they lodge here in the palace with their mother.”

Your words where gentle, though loud enough to carry without yet being a challenge.  Softly manipulating where you husband had known only how to do so with cruelty. Answered with a small up turning of her lips as relief flooded her eyes.  Cut short by angry protests of her husband.

“Do you have any idea what it costs to keep a woman at court, let alone two children.  It will cripple me, I would never be able to support another child, let alone take another wife.”

Perhaps this woman had once been in love with her husband, since she flinched as he spoke of a replacement.  Angering you, to see anyone a tenth as used as you had been, banging your palm hard against the table, in an imitation of a temper Hux had long since trained out of you.  Your lip curling in an echo image of his, as you spat out your answer for her.  Still amazed you should be shocked, at this latest showing of the man’s stupidity.

“Your children would be educated alongside future Empresses, they would grow up in their company; can you honestly put a price on such a gift.”

Your words it seemed had left the room in total silence; unnerving you.  Frightened you where floundering, and there was no answer you dared not look to Hux for any.  You knew Kylo would if you asked him to, but you did not want to look weak, or humbled into asking him to.  So, with no show of support to either back up your fury, or else put him in his place your anxiety returned.  Blinking back the angry prickles in the nerves in your eyes, you where filled with a sudden need to get out of here.  Following your feet to the door that stood behind the room, pushing so hard against the heavy wooden frame, that it flew back on its hinges to hit the wall behind it.  The slam adding to your already thickening layer of mortification and dread.  What if you had read Hux wrong, what if right now he was apologising and undoing all you had hoped you had set in motion for this poor woman.

You had taken four maybe five paces into the room beyond the one you had fled from, before someone’s fingers encircled your wrist pulling you suddenly and swiftly back.  Turing you to face a breathless and clearly aditated Emperor Hux.

“I-”

You had opened your mouth to explain, to beg for forgiveness for her and for yourself.  To plead for him not to punish you, and to let her go; all of it fading to nothing at the press of his lips to your own.  His voice breathless with admiration when he spoke to explain it.

“You truly where magnificent, everything; no more than I had hoped for.”

Open mouthed, you just stared blinking as you realised how dry your eyes had become with staring at him.  His kiss had been simple and chaste.  Held only a second longer than would have been proper, had he just of been addressing you with the kiss of greeting.  Still it burnt where it had touched, and not just your lips. His eyes dark, they had a light to them, that you had not seen in so long.  Making your lips tingle as you pressed them together to swallow the gathered saliva.  Stuttering before you found the words to speak.

“That was permissible?”

He nodded and pulled you tighter to him.  Not in a show of sexual domination of you, but to give you something to cling to as your legs went almost boneless beneath you.  His arm had wrapped your waist, the relief at him not being annoyed blinding you to all that was going on.  Forgetting the fear you had previously felt when you had stormed out of the room and ran away from both him and Kylo. Leaning forwards to press your forehead to his chest whilst your breathing came under control.  Remembering it only when you where calm enough to weakly demand to know why he didn’t tell you.

“We needed you to come to your own conclusions about Lady Dernhelm, if we had told you her history then you would have already been prejudiced to her husband.”

Eyes narrowing in confusion, you lifted your head.  Caught short of your protests that he wanted a fair trial for his soldier when he gave his explanation.

“Not because of her husband, but because of her former Resistance ties.  We where never able to prove it, but Lady Dernhelm was an informant.”

That was worse, spluttering an indecipherable curse, you pressed against him.  The spell that he had previously created with his kindness gone as you tried to push him away.

“I will not be party to a trap for her, I, I will.”

You couldn’t quite find the words you wanted to threaten him with as you fought to be free.  Emperor Hux mean while allowing you enough room to step back, before he grabbed your wrists.  Holding them softly in his hands, whilst his thumbs stroked circles in the centre of your palms, shaking his head in a sad denial.

“I have no intentions of setting a trap up for her.  There is no more Resistance, Lady Dernhelm realises this, I spoke truly when I said she was under no threat from myself or the empire.  I brought you to her to see if you would like her as a friend, one you could choose for yourself.”

Timidly you stopped your fighting.  Allowing him to soothe you, and to come a little closer.  Swallowing and running your tongue over your lips, feeling the chapped flesh give under it.  Flicking at a loose bit of skin, until it flaked off.  Realising with some levity that her fate was never to be left to her abusive husband, that the man was never going to be allowed to separate her from her children.  Hux would have too much guilt to do that.

“She, she was safe all along; wasn’t she?”

Another nod spoke as equally as unneeded as the question you had asked.  His graveness only deepening as he sighed and testing the waters, pulled you against him again.  Your arms refusing to wrap around him but allowing themselves to be pressed to his chest.  Your head under his chin as he breathed deeply of your scent.

“We needed to see if you liked her or not.”

He held onto you for a moment more, until the door to the room opened.  This time admitting Kylo Ren. You had thought him perhaps here to join with Hux in his newfound permission to touch you like this.  Therefore you perhaps where a little put out when he did not, stopping short of you both.  Taking in what he was seeing with some fondness before he spoke, his voice cutting through the tranquil little moment like a ship through waves.  The one word speaking volumes to you.

“Dernhelm.”

Hux answered him.  His voice laden with vitriol, and promise.  The last word spoken with such distasted that you could almost imagining that it stung his mouth to have to utter it.  Suggesting that there was more, but his control would not let him speak of it.

“Have him removed from the palaces, if I ever see him again I will personally shoot him on sight; his disrespect.”

He came back here to speak aloud for your benefit alone, facing you as he spoke.  Any problems between himself and Hux, could have been discussed wherever they were in the place.  It was you who seemed to have inadvertently managed to keep them from such easy means of communication with yourself.  Now Hux too looked down at you, the sudden realisation dawning on you as you looked between them both. 

“You want me to go back and give the order?”

Smiling Hux shook his head at you.  The action making you both relived to have gotten it wrong and frustrated at having done so. Embarrassed that you perhaps had thought too highly of their opinion of you.

“No Pet, you stormed off seemingly in temper.  Let the others in the room believe that you did so because you found him so lacking in curtesy that you could not bare to be in the same room as him.  Now let us as your husbands deal with the affront he has caused our wife.”     

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has been so long in my head that I may have rushed a little to get the chapter out. So after a busy day, there might be a lot of typos, more so than usual.

**Author's Note:**

> There was always a possibility of a sequel, I left it open so I could. I just didn't expect such a quick idea.  
> I was debating just grouping Enthroned with this as I hate having so much stuff on the go.  
> Also, random, do I write too fast, i know i read stupidly fast. Just wondering?

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Escape](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11316453) by [anoonzee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoonzee/pseuds/anoonzee)




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